Stuff God Hates

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Let it be known throughout the land: No longer shall I spare Florida from My Yearly Divine Hurricane Wrath.
By Holy Tradition, every year I go around the world destroying countries with hurricanes and [...]

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Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to receive the Word of God, as written by your Lord and Savior, Jesus The Christ!
Hey everybody, Jesus here. I’d just like to step in real quick and say that Obama is a mentally unstable poser who’s convinced himself he’s the black version of Me,and quite frankly, I’m [...]

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Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
YES! TASTE MY GLORIOUS WRATH!
Yesterday I smote the hell out of the city of Minneapolis with raging thunderstorms and a tornado. I uprooted trees, smashed roofs, and flooded streets with water. I damaged the [...]

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Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
For the seventh time in the last 3 years, Brett Favre has unretired yet again and is back in the NFL, this time with the Minnesota Vikings. Whoop-de-doo and tra-lee-la!
Personally, I could give a [...]

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Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Maybe I never specifically covered this in the Bible, but I’d like to take this chance to go on the record and unequivocally state that: I, The Almighty Lord God, in no way condone [...]

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In this edition of Ask God, The Almighty answers a few of the many questions He has recently received from one of his flock who goes by the name of Naytheist. Afterwards, mortals will be given the awesome opportunity to ask God one question. If The Lord is feeling generous, He may actually answer.
QUESTION #1: [...]

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Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
OLD PEOPLE PISS ME OFF!
Take a look at what this old coot* said about Me:
God Would Not Endorse ObamaCare
How dare this half-demented Alzheimer’s patient put words into My Divine Mouth?
Just for that, I FULLY [...]

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Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
I, The Almighty Lord, am totally stoked about My New Movie Legion that comes out January 22.
In the movie (which I wrote and helped direct), I give up on mankind once again, [...]

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