“I hate all these things,” declares the LORD. - Zechariah 8:17
“If two men are fighting and the wife of one tries to rescue her husband by grabbing the testicles of the other man, her hand must be cut off. Show her no pity.” (Deuteronomy 25:11-12)
BACK IN ANCIENT ISRAEL ball-grabbing was a big problem. Every time two guys got into even a mild verbal dispute it [...]
“No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.” Deuteronomy 23:1
I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD. I demand that every man keep his penis safe from harm.
You see, I personally model and create every penis. This makes every penis divine. It is therefore a [...]
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to receive the Word of God, as written by your Lord and Savior, Jesus The Christ!
Hey everybody, Jesus here. I’d just like to step in real quick and say that Obama is a mentally unstable poser who’s convinced himself he’s the black version of Me,and quite frankly, I’m [...]
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
YES! TASTE MY GLORIOUS WRATH!
Yesterday I smote the hell out of the city of Minneapolis with raging thunderstorms and a tornado. I uprooted trees, smashed roofs, and flooded streets with water. I damaged the [...]
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Maybe I never specifically covered this in the Bible, but I’d like to take this chance to go on the record and unequivocally state that: I, The Almighty Lord God, in no way condone [...]
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
DAMN YOU PZ MEYERS!
I’m calling you out, bitch. You recently shattered the self-worth of My Loyal Servant Ken Ham, and his wounded pride cries out for justice. He’s actually taken to weeping.
PZ, [...]
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
I AM AGHAST!
A group of 300 vile atheists took over My Creation Museum recently. They were very disrespectful and dared to ridicule it under their breath the whole time they were there. Luckily, [...]
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
I hate hopes and I hate dreams! They violate My Divine Plan! How dare you humans lounge around and dream of ways to thwart My Divine Plan?
If I made you a gravedigger, then [...]
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