“And he shall speak words against the High One, and shall crush the saints of the most High….” Daniel 7:25
The day after Jesus died on the cross, I got a visit from the devil. He congratulated me and Jesus on saving mankind from sin and swore vengeance upon us.
Satan swore to send his own son to Earth someday. Isn’t that original? He vowed his son would have wicked superpowers and corrupt mankind again and destroy me forever. And then the jerk vanished in a big puff of smoke that stunk of wild donkey ass.
Over the years I have grown quite paranoid over this threat and so am always on the lookout for the antichrist.
Only problem is, I don’t know when he might show up and where that might be. The devil shields this information from my view. This is one of the only things in existence I don’t know. It drives me crazy.
And so I created the Angel Intelligence Agency (AIA) to gather workable intelligence on any and all antichrist threats.
The AIA provides me with a description of what to look for. In general, they say the antichrist will probably look just like Jesus but have the opposite personality.
So while the name of Jesus sounds pleasant, the name of the antichrist will be something sinister like Damien, Vlad or Lars.
Those names are terrifying. In fact they are a bit too frightening to repeat, so for now let’s just call him ‘Todd.’
Jesus hates cursing, so Todd will love cursing. Jesus hates death metal, so Todd will love death metal. Jesus hates zombies, so Todd will love zombies. You get the idea.
‘Todd Antichrist,’ or whatever the name of the antichrist ends up being, will likely run for president of the United States. The American media will expose him as the son of the devil, but he’ll still win a landslide victory by promising to lower taxes.
If the antichrist ever does become president, he’ll trigger the apocalypse. Jesus will return to Earth and everyone will die. This won’t be fun for anyone.
I mean that. I don’t want the apocalypse to happen anymore than you do.
CARIDAD on 
Naytheist on 
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My name is Naytheist and I have a ponytail. I have business suits (but never wear them).
Does this mean I am the antichrist? I’m not sure about the hooker abortion thing, I’ll have to ask my mum.
no. it means you’re a douche.
Thanks for clearing that up, jewboy. And get `perfected’ while you’re at it.
By the way God, it’s spelled `Doppelgänger’, or alternatively `Doppelgaenger’, O linguistically challenged Omniscient Being.
Never miss an opportunity to use an Umlaut. Umlauts are cool.
4 comments, 3 by Naytheist, one in which he states he has a ponytail.
I agree with Jew.
Please don’t hate me because I am beautiful!
Personally I’m waiting for the Four Horsemen of the Acropolis.
In the meantime, I still want to have Bloodvork’s babies.
God,
if you keep changing your posts after publication all our comments become irrelevant in no time. Which makes us look like idiots spewing random bullshit.
God , you are as fickle as a slutty teenage cheerleader.
Btw, Kevin is a gay name, and Vlad is cool. I wish my name was Vlad.
I will change and improve the word of the Lord as much as I like. Besides, your comments are always irrelevant.
You go, God! It’s high time the Bible had a strict edit.
I think this “Todd” of whom you speak can be found in Alaska, God. And feel free to take out his gash of a wife while you’re at it.
The antichrist is a priest.
http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local_news/priest_accused_in_murder-for-hire_plot_109988129.html
Shit’s real in Texas.
Don’t know how they let this happen, though.
I saw that too, Nay. Something like that happened near me, but it was a rabbi. God can’t control His flock. It’s too big, some bad birds are bound to get into the mix.
I’m Glad God is so busy, because the Tree Gods get better followers that way. Beautiful young people who get fab tatts and dance naked around bonfires.
The good thing about being a rabbi is that you can kill any male members of your flock and get away with it. Just cut off their dick and say it was a botched (re)circumcision.
Naked dancing huh? Where do I sign up for that treehugging club of yours?
I think we can narrow it down to these, based on ponytail criteria:
Member of upper management of a ‘hip’ industry
Homeless dude
Architect
VietNam era vets who think Sarah Palin should be president
You missed:
Hell’s angel
PhD student (computer science)
Native american
Metal guitarist
Thanks, Nay.
I’m still having trouble with the blog entry and comments at my “normal” location.
Oh well.
Perhaps the search for the Antichirst identity should begin by identifying a man who is a position of power so that “all that dwell on the earth shall worship him. whose names are not written in the book of life”(Revelation 13:8). The Antichrist will have the authority to “causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name”.(Revelation 13:16-17)
As for the “number of his name” it is a simple-substitution cipher number derived from the 24-letter alphabet in use in 1611 when the KJV Bible was published.
A=1,B=2,C=3,D=4,E=5,F=6,G=7,H=8,I&J=9,K=10,L=11,M=12,N=13,O=14,P=15,Q=16,R=17,S=18,T=19,U&V=20,W=21,X=22,Y=23,Z=24).
And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
92=Day’s+Born 92=8+4+19+61
155=Dates(47)+Child’s(53)+Birth(55) 155=The+President’s 155=Barack+Hussein+Obama
200=Barack+Hussein+Obama(155)+The+Age(45)
200=Two+Thousand+Six (2006 -1961=45)
131=Birth+Age’s+45 55=Birth 45=The+Age 45
147=Six+Six+Six 147=The+Name+Of+Barack+Obama 147=Obama+Born+In+Hawaii
189=A+USA(40)President(105)+(44) 189=Antichrist”s+Birth
92=Date+And(47)+Time(45) 92=8+4+19+61
199=Age(13)+Wife+Name(72)+Michelle+Obama(94) 199=Two+Thousand+Eight
116=Antichrist 116=Age(13)+Wife’s+Age(72) 116=Wife’s+Age+44 (1964 to 2008)
166=Wife+Name(72)+Michelle+Obam(94) 166=Wife+Of+President
191=The(32)+Age+is+Forty+Five(159)
191-Two+Thousand+Nine (1964 to 2009)
187=Name(31)+Presidency+44(156)
187=The+New+Antichrist 187=U+S+President+44
187=Army+Commander+In+Chief
155=The+President’s 155=Barack+Hussein+Obama
Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.” (Revelation 13:18)
147=Let+Him(64)+That+Hath(83)
147=Barack+Obama(64)+Birthday(83)
147=Birth+8+4+19+61
147=Obama+Born+In+ Hawaii
147=The+Name+Of(83)+Barack+Obama(64)
147=Date+Of+Year+Elected \
147=November+4th+20+08
\
112=Birthday(83)+Date(29) 112=Of+8+4+19+61
112=Presidency
143=U+S+President
156=Presidency+44
149=Presidencies(121)+Is(27) 149=President+44
116=Names+Of(69)+Dates(47) 116=Antichrist
149=President+44
198=Names(49)+President+44(149)
198=Barack+Obama’s+Antichrist
147=Six+Six+Six
147=The+Name+Of+Barack+Obama
147=Date+Of+Year+Elected \
147=November+4th+20+08
125=Hundred(71)+Three(54)
125=The+Direction
125=Of+President
125=Laws+Of(71)+Denies(54)
124=Law+Control 124=Barack+Obama’s+Choice
77=The(32)+Beast(45)
77=The(32+Force(45)
77=The(32)+Judge(45) 77=Actions
77=Order+Of 77=Man’s+Law 77=Obey+Law
77=Church’s 77=Sexual 77=Standard
The name of the false prophet is revealed!
134=Number(69)+Of+A+Man+And(65)
134=Gordon(69)+Bitner(65) 134=Names+Of(69)+Of+Beast(65) 134=The+False+Prophet
198=Rule(53)+Of+The+Prophet(145)
198=The+Control+In+Law+Of
198=Of+Latter+Day+Saints
216=Number(69)+Is+Six+Hundred(147)
216=Gordon(69)+Bitner+Hinckley(147) 216=Number(69)+Six+Six+Six(147) 216=President+Of+The+Church 216=The+First+Counselor
174=Thomas+S+Monson 174=President+16+Of+LDS
174=The+Saints+2nd+Beast
The cipher message that reveals the Antichrist identity in 2011 was published in 1611, 400 years ago, corresponding to Israel’s 400 years of affliction (Genesis 15:13). Knowing that cipher messages can be false, does not form a basis for denying the number- of-his-name message in KJV Revelation 13:18.
The 44th president of the United States is the commander in chief of troops in 135 countries with the “state-of-war-on-terror” power to activate law-established executive orders that suspend constitutional freedom and give him the power to gather people into the over 800 FEMA (manned and empty) concentration camps. http://www.apfn.org/apfn/camps1.htm http://disinter.wordpress.com/2009/01/25/800-fema-concentration-camps-fully-operational-and-ready/
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=10097
The “enemy combatant” designation of the Patriot Act has allowed the imprisonment and mind-controlled programming of hundreds who are designed to (when-activated) perform “War on Terror” acts to justify a continuing “War on Terror”, until the Supreme Court intervened. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A12065-2004Jun28.htm
Mind-control techniques use deprivation, torture and fear of death to create subliminal Identities (of which the victim is not aware) so they will confess to crimes not committed and perform violent acts when triggered by key words or sounds. This can be confirmed by internet research, as can false-flag attacks that are used to create a “war on terror”.
http://www.pennypresslv.com/Obama’s_Use_of_Hidden_Hypnosis_techniques_in_His_Speeches.pdf
http://www.ministryoflies.com/The%20Illuminati%20Formula%20Used%20to%20Create%20an%20Undetectable%20Total%20Mind%20Controlled%20Slave.pdf
This ‘play-god’ plan of the Elite is being shut down by the Heavens which are empowered when true believers forgive and pray for those who despitefully use and persecute them. This gives power to the Savior Redeemer, Son Of God, Jesus of Nazareth (to whom vengeance belongs), who has all power on earth and in heaven from The Heavenly Father of Spirits, to destroy those who destroy the earth and persecute the children of light.
The Creator’s Intelligent mind design is evidenced by the certainty probability of the cipher message’s logical connectedness of names, dates, offices and places. Only a cryptologist (code breaker) can appreciate the astronomical odds of discovering the code values, knowing the facts to be revealed and deciphering a logically-connected, functional message that reveals truth to the children of light.
agreed
surely you must have forgotten to carry a 1 somewhere….let me check this post again.
…………………….
nope. it’s airtight. obama is the anti-christ.
come on, ben. PRESIDENT Obama. have some respect.
Instead of reading Darrell G Miller’s reply, I just sliced off my eyelids with a razorblade.
you’re right, no reason to not still be respectful of the office of the Presidency when calling the President the Antichrist.
Comment 19:
TL;DR
I’m fucking crazy and these are the thoughts that came into my head as I hallucinated whilst eating my own shit and screaming at my dog.
I’ll see you in my office tomorrow Darrell
Looks like our pal Darrell is speaking to us from the inside of one of those FEMA camps:
http://offender.fdle.state.fl.us/offender/flyer.do?personId=42155
Apparently they have internet there, so it can’t be all that bad.
Darrell G. Miller is the Dick Franing of 2011, and we all know what happened to that guy..