Stuff God Hates

#84 YOU!

Sep 21st, 2009 by God

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
THAT’S RIGHT! I HATE YOU! YES, YOU!

This is why I have abandoned you. I don’t love you! I don’t even like you! I hate you!

You have always disappointed Me. You have fallen far short of what I had planned for you.

You know, I didn’t ask to always exist. I didn’t ask to be perfect and all merciful. And I certainly didn’t ask to give life to billions of hopelessly flawed little people like you. It just sort of happened one day.

Do you have any idea how much time and effort I’ve wasted on you? LOTS! You have squandered all the marvelous gifts and abilities I gave you in favor of watching TV, surfing the internet and having sex with yourself.

YOU DAMN WASTREL! I HATE YOU!

I command you to get down on your knees right now and worship Me! DO IT! NOW! Get off your ass and beg Me for mercy! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHY ARE YOU STILL SITTING THERE?!

YOU DIRTY DISOBEDIENT SHIT! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ANYTHING I TELL YOU TO DO!

You don’t even leave Me alone when I abandon you. You’re still up My Ass all the time, telling Me to bless your friends when they sneeze, begging Me for help, even when I have gone out of My Way to make it abundantly clear to you that I hate you.

You have absolutely no respect for boundaries.

I…HAVE HAD…ENOUGH…OF YOU!

Tags: God, Hate, You

Posted in People

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319 Responses to “#84 YOU!”

on 21 Sep 2009 at 12:40 pm1Brad F.

Does this mean game over?
on 21 Sep 2009 at 1:05 pm2Tony

Thank You Sir!
May I please have some more?
on 21 Sep 2009 at 1:22 pm3Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I told Nay that You hated him but he didn’t believe me, God.
on 21 Sep 2009 at 1:53 pm4Obie

Does this mean I can stay home from now on to play Sacred on the PS3 all day? I don’t feel like going to work if you are going to act on this displeasure……
on 21 Sep 2009 at 3:29 pm5Foppl's Siege Party

Given that time is infinite, what does it matter how much time you’ve “wasted?”
on 21 Sep 2009 at 4:11 pm6Bei Shen

Do you mean you hate everybody the same, or some you hate more than the others? Because I’m like, totally ok, if you hate me a little less.
on 21 Sep 2009 at 4:18 pm7God

YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU! YOU’RE ALL THE SAME!
on 21 Sep 2009 at 4:30 pm8Obie

God needs a cocktail to relax a little….Here I thought he’d be happy today after Kurt Warner, AKA, His biggest fan, played so well yesterday.
on 21 Sep 2009 at 4:31 pm9Ben

Oh you hate ALL of us. what a relief, i thought for sure it was just me
on 21 Sep 2009 at 7:01 pm10Dr. Herbman

Shut up Ben…

im pretty sure, the only person that god hates more than all others is YOU. so, SHUT UP ONE MORE TIME.

God, i really disagree that you hate me, if you really hate me, you would not have crated marijhuana and other drugs…

that´s why i think im the only person that you really like…

thank you lord.
on 21 Sep 2009 at 7:04 pm11Dr. Herbman

said bitches!!!
on 21 Sep 2009 at 8:39 pm12anne johnson

Na na na na boo boo! I hate You too! Go fry in Your own hell, nasty Geezer God!

This wouldn’t be complete without…

…shut up ben
on 21 Sep 2009 at 8:44 pm13Hume Cronyn

Huh.
Didn’t see that coming.
on 21 Sep 2009 at 8:46 pm14Hume Cronyn

I did know that He hates ben and anne, but me?
I’m sitting 20 feet away from Him, for His sake.
Guess I’ll cut out the wednesday night foot rubs, then.
See how He likes that.
on 21 Sep 2009 at 9:11 pm15Bei Shen

Are you sure it’s his foot?
on 21 Sep 2009 at 9:34 pm16Bloodvork

What about Wednesday night belly rubs?
on 21 Sep 2009 at 10:08 pm17anne johnson

#15: NOT.
on 21 Sep 2009 at 10:09 pm18Nun Ur Damned Bizness

heheh… Bei made a funny.
on 21 Sep 2009 at 10:10 pm19Hume Cronyn

He has big feet.
And yes, I can differentiate between a foot
and a cock.
Cock rubs are Thursday night, and Jessica T
takes over while I watch The Office.
Also, her withered claws grasp cock
like you would not believe, and He prefers
her hands.
Belly rubs are Friday night.
on 21 Sep 2009 at 10:16 pm20Nun Ur Damned Bizness

God’s Divine Cock is pretty misshapen, I’ve seen it. I could see how It would be mistaken for a foot. It’s an easy mistake that could happen to any of us.
on 21 Sep 2009 at 10:18 pm21Obie

No offense Hume, but why would He choose you to rub his feet? Does He have a proclivity for crotchety, withered B-movie actors? Think of all the prime, grade-A pussy he has at His disposal…..Makes me wonder….
on 21 Sep 2009 at 10:32 pm22anne johnson

Good point, Obie.
on 22 Sep 2009 at 3:05 am23Grumpy

Wow - someone needs more bran in their diet.
on 22 Sep 2009 at 2:00 pm24Naytheist

God, don’t listen to Nun. I have always believed that you hated us all.

The evidence is all around us, but what’s more, your group of spokespeople known as Slayer has stated this in no uncertain terms:
http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/slayer/godhatesusall.html
on 22 Sep 2009 at 2:02 pm25Naytheist

Nun, when did you see God’s cock? I thought nuns all take the vow and are married to Christ?

Or did you get some father & son action?
on 22 Sep 2009 at 2:06 pm26Subnatural Believer

Wait. God is William Shatner?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b1a-hqvGNI

And I suggest that He’s just miffed because the Rapture didn’t go as planned yesterday:
http://home.flash.net/~evt/rapture.htm
on 22 Sep 2009 at 2:22 pm27Naytheist

Herbman watch out! Someone is stealing your stash!
http://www.boners.com/content/805491.1.jpg
on 22 Sep 2009 at 3:01 pm28Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Holy fucking shit! I know this shit is staged but I can’t stop laughing…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AZ9O65nzHc
on 22 Sep 2009 at 3:52 pm29Naytheist

This is not staged, God made Jimmy Fallon slip because he hates him.

And He hates you for laughing at it.
on 22 Sep 2009 at 4:51 pm30Naytheist

God please smite Jimmy Fallon for being unfunny.
on 22 Sep 2009 at 7:29 pm31Jim

The proof that God hates me is evident everywhere. Take, for instance, my neighbor lady. For an older broad she’s pretty hawt, but of course God, with his perverse sense of humor, made her a collector of cats. Some of them are Calico cats.
on 22 Sep 2009 at 7:59 pm32Naytheist

Why are you laughing then, Jim?
on 22 Sep 2009 at 8:13 pm33anne johnson

When God hates us, our only recourse is to hate Him back. Therefore, this afternoon I intend to go to the highest point in the nearby golf course, defiantly shake my putter toward the sky, and curse God, using the Carlin script. I won’t let this weather forecast for thunderstorms stop me, either. Damn you, God! See You on the golf course!
on 22 Sep 2009 at 10:02 pm34Naytheist

You go, girl!
on 22 Sep 2009 at 10:59 pm35Ben

wow, she is so gonna get struck by lightning.
on 22 Sep 2009 at 11:42 pm36Willy

Ooooh, GodHate. That and bedhead are my greatest worries. What ya gonna do, huh?

Thought so, bitch.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:12 am37Hume Cronyn

God’s gonna listen to Ugly Kid Joe before He
smites bentheist and anne.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 9:52 am38Naytheist

God has every right to hate Man, for Man creates things like this:
http://www.lawrence.com/news/2009/aug/24/motorcycle-made-semi-nude-men-vs-transforming-stea/

I’m gonna start building my Ark right now.

PS I am not ben
on 23 Sep 2009 at 12:50 pm39Ben

I would just like to make it very clear that I am not this fucking Naytheist asshole. I just don’t post here that much anymore.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 2:49 pm40The Mighty Thor

Frankly, I don’t care what you say anymore. Your taking Henry Gibson away from us has destroyed any belief I had in you, so just smite yourself.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:34 pm41Kraig

Paul Lynne, Henry Gibson, Bea Arthur…..
Taking away such great people…
That proves you hate us God.
When will it end?
on 23 Sep 2009 at 11:13 pm42Hume Cronyn

shut up ben,
shut up naytheist:
bentheist
nayben
benn-ay- theist
on 23 Sep 2009 at 11:15 pm43Hume Cronyn

He will smite ben
when
kevin federline eats him.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 11:20 pm44Hume Cronyn

He will smite anne
again
and
again
when her vagina collapses
into a stupidnova;
gamma rays
burst from the dark hole
burning smoggy’s cornhole.
(they shared a double sided dildo)
on 23 Sep 2009 at 11:30 pm45anne johnson

He will smite Hume with a broom in a very bright room. Bang, zoom!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 11:30 pm46anne johnson

I would so have shagged Dr. Seuss.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:40 pm47Naytheist

You are al so deserving of God’s hatred.

Especially ben.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:44 pm48Naytheist

God, is that you doing the running commentary at 0:20?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hcElGydzb8&feature=fvst

You are so buff, God!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:08 pm49Jim

So when are ya gonna show some hate toward John Phillips, God? You gotta admit, that’s pretty fucked up.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:15 pm50Jim

I mean, I know you already smote him dead and all that, but I think I’d bring him back just to smite him dead again and again. Unless it was all McKenzie’s fault, of course. She could have been asking for it…
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:06 pm51Naytheist

This is why God hates us:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nadir_of_western_civilization_to?utm_source=a-section
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:28 pm52Nun Ur Damned Bizness

All I got to say is it’s no wonder poor Mackenzie Phillips has spent most of her life fucked up.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:01 pm53Naytheist

Who’s your papa.
on 25 Sep 2009 at 3:42 pm54Jim

I’d volunteer to help fuck up the rest of her life, if she wasn’t already so–well, fucked up…
on 25 Sep 2009 at 7:04 pm55Naytheist

That’s a nasty satanic little laugh you have there Jim. It reminds me of Jaws.
on 26 Sep 2009 at 4:35 pm56uppity cracka

fine. fuck it then. i never believed in you anyway. i mean, why would i? it doesn’t many any god damned sense!!! and why would you crucify your son? aren’t you omnipotent? virgin birth? the whole thing is a ridiculous mish mash of older myths collected by jews in their pointless wanderings. the whole thing is so silly and provincial. so, it is with great pleasure that i say: fuck you too, sir.

fuck

you

too

shut

up

ben

what are you gonna do? smite the vikings again? oooooooh.
on 26 Sep 2009 at 4:37 pm57uppity cracka

this in no way means that i am going to stop using your religion for my own personal political gain.

amen.

amen and suck a fart out of my asshole.
on 26 Sep 2009 at 7:43 pm58uppity cracka

56-*make any god damned sense.

god damnit!
on 26 Sep 2009 at 8:45 pm59Jim

I think I found Johnson’s illegitimate son, thought to have been aborted sometime in his 9th or 10th trimester:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCvkatCGNFY&feature=player_embedded

And THAT is why God hates us all, every one.
on 27 Sep 2009 at 2:52 am60usedtobeadouchebag

Way to go uppity cracka! My Steelers sucked last week-end & if God had any mercy, he could have made those two field goals happen. I think he is serious when he says he hate you, meaning all of us.
on 27 Sep 2009 at 5:08 pm61anne johnson

#59: a strong case against democracy, but no spawn of mine. I have two daughters, Teenzilla and Train Wreck.
on 27 Sep 2009 at 5:59 pm62Jim

Sez YOU, Anne Johnson…
on 28 Sep 2009 at 2:28 pm63Hume Cronyn

Hey God
don’t let me down
You have found her, now go and get her.
on 28 Sep 2009 at 6:29 pm64Holli

Well this post explains everything!!!!
on 28 Sep 2009 at 11:45 pm65uppity cracka

he extra hated nun on sunday.

seahawks…blech.

and their uniforms looked like a nuclear accident.
on 29 Sep 2009 at 12:02 am66Nun Ur Damned Bizness

God has obviously abandoned Matt Hasselbeck and is full of much Divine Hate for him.

I felt horribly embarrassed for my boys having to wear those uniforms but the Titans wore their old faggy Oiler uniforms with the powder blue so at least they weren’t in powder blue.

I hope God smites Tony Romo again.
on 29 Sep 2009 at 3:31 am67usedtobeadouchebag

After yesterday, I have nothing to say, except, thank you god for hating me even more. so screw you, too.
on 29 Sep 2009 at 9:10 pm68Naytheist

You all need to take a leaf out of Herbman’s book and relax.
on 29 Sep 2009 at 10:04 pm69anne johnson

Easy for you to say, Nay. Your starting qb isn’t a dog-zapper.
on 29 Sep 2009 at 10:05 pm70anne johnson

Ah, 69. Where’s Mr. Johnson?
on 01 Oct 2009 at 1:51 am71anne johnson

God, if you need a guest blogger, I’ll do it. We could use this space to recruit new followers of the Tree Gods.
on 01 Oct 2009 at 9:21 am72Naytheist

I am wearing a dog-zapper as I write this. I always put it on before I post on this blog, and zap myself if I feel the urge to soil God’s blog with my impure thoughts.

I then soil *myself*, but that’s okay. I wear diapers.
on 02 Oct 2009 at 4:23 am73Tony

I think HE meant it when he said:

I…HAVE HAD…ENOUGH…OF YOU!
on 02 Oct 2009 at 12:03 pm74Naytheist

Thanks for reminding us, Tony. He obviously meant `you all’, but I’m sure that, deep in His heart, he despises you just a little bit more than the rest of us. In fact, he hates you so much that he has now forsaken His blog for good.

All because of those $2 shades of yours. Cheapskate.
on 02 Oct 2009 at 4:02 pm75Bei Shen

It’s so sad. I meant to ask him if he can make more midgets. I notice we don’t have enough of them at parties any more.
on 02 Oct 2009 at 4:58 pm76Naytheist

Dwarftossing FTW!

Yeah, I miss ‘em too. Maybe they’ve been wiped out by Obama’s deathpanels?
on 02 Oct 2009 at 5:10 pm77Naytheist

There’s a new post in reply on the Mexican Swine story. Check out comment 549, it made my day.
on 03 Oct 2009 at 5:09 am78Hume Cronyn

God might be less angry
if He had
a delicious cheeseburger.
on 04 Oct 2009 at 10:54 pm79Naytheist

Time for another quote

“In my freetime I practised singing in the choir of the monastery church at Lambach, and thus it happened that I was placed in a very favourable position to be emotionally impressed again and again by the magnificent splendour of ecclesiastical ceremonial. What could be more natural for me than to look upon the Abbot as representing the highest human ideal worth striving for?”

A. Hitler, Mein Kampf
on 06 Oct 2009 at 4:11 pm80Bei Shen

I admit to watching TV and surfing the internet. Who had sex with themselves?
on 06 Oct 2009 at 8:42 pm81Naytheist
on 06 Oct 2009 at 11:05 pm82Hume Cronyn

Maybe jello biafra was right.
on 08 Oct 2009 at 1:32 am83anne johnson

Basically fondue.
on 08 Oct 2009 at 1:56 pm84Naytheist

Our Father went out to get a pack of cigarettes.

Some people are just not cut out to be parents.
on 08 Oct 2009 at 2:33 pm85Jim

Maybe God’s just busy rewriting the alt-text code for this picture?
on 08 Oct 2009 at 7:16 pm86Naytheist

Cool painting!

That Supreme Court Justice can facepalm and repent all he wants, but he won’t escape the ass-raping demons of hell.
on 09 Oct 2009 at 3:32 pm87Obie

Well, now we know where he has been recently…

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/god_introduces_new_bird?utm_source=onion_rss_daily
on 09 Oct 2009 at 5:51 pm88Josh

Yo Ben!
I sent you an email. reply to that shit mother fucker.

the rest of you fuck off.
except for Dr. Herbman, he can eat a dick; and it’s not even Saturday night.
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:06 am89uppity cracka

josh is a faggot.

nun is a whore.

shut up, ben.

God, even though i don’t believe in You, can You give my shitty baseball team a miracle?

(i miss the good ol’ days)

basically fondue.

if it ain’t king james, it ain’t bible.
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:07 am90uppity cracka

dr. lerbwoman,

why don’t ya go eat some monkey lice?
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:09 am91Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I. AM. NOT. A. WHORE!! Damn you, Cracka! DAMN YOU!!
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:45 am92anne johnson
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:48 am93uppity cracka

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

when was the last time you fed your vagina? i can hear its caustic gurgle spitting plumes of juicy poopsteam all the way over here. i mean, get a grip, lady. seriously. fuck. put that thing on a diet, would you?

as fat as your cunt is, it still ain’t bridgette fat. that cunt is fat.
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:51 am94uppity cracka

i am in dire need of a quickening.

if any of you fucks could see my penis right now…well, let’s just say you’d have to have microscopic eyeball lenses.

it’s all i can do to hate minorities…just depressing.
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:52 am95uppity cracka

can’t you tell from this look on my face???
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:52 am96uppity cracka

JOSH!!!!

CONSIDER YOURSELF MURDERED, YOU FUCKING CHING CHONG DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:53 am97uppity cracka

what are the odds that yoyo just kind of shows up and drops his dentures all over my quickening???
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:54 am98uppity cracka

smoggy was writin his lymricks on pharyngula today.

it was pretty gay.
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:55 am99uppity cracka

THERE CAN BE…………
on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:55 am100uppity cracka

ONLY ONE CRACKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on 10 Oct 2009 at 1:16 am101uppity cracka

my dick is huge, thank you very much.

hey, naytheist, your comments are too long; not enough cursing. i don’t even read them.

nun—the feeling you get when you’re watching the warmup stripper in a small town.

not exactly hot. but you can’t stop looking.
on 10 Oct 2009 at 2:08 am102Josh

how has everyone been?

I’ve been busy with a fucking baby eating and shitting all the time.

I assume Yoyo is older, cracka is whiter, Anne is fairier, Nun is whorey-er, Ben is stupider, God is Godier, and Herbman is gay.
on 10 Oct 2009 at 2:41 am103Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I. AM. NOT. WHOREY-ER!! Damn you, Josh!! DAMN YOU ALL!!!
on 10 Oct 2009 at 7:38 pm104Naytheist

ok cracka, in fututre I will keep it short and be more offensive. how about this:

FUCK YOU YOU GAY-ASS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
on 10 Oct 2009 at 7:40 pm105Naytheist

Cracka, what’s the difference between one long comment and a lot of short ones?

Really, you americans have the attention span of a goldfish.
on 10 Oct 2009 at 7:48 pm106Naytheist

Cracka, my dick is larger than yours.

Btw, I’m drunk. On Chimay. Which is made by Trappist monks. You can say what you want about Trappist monks, but they sure know how to make a good beer.

I prefer Trappist monks over Shaolin monks. Shaolin monks are saffron-clad skinheads obsessed with learning the most efficient ways to kick each other in the balls. BORING!!!

And they worship some slick fat fuck gook who sits under a tree all day. YAWN.

I will drink some more beer. Where’s our vengefull Yaweh when you need him?
on 10 Oct 2009 at 7:51 pm107Naytheist

What’s with the “basically fondue thing”?
on 10 Oct 2009 at 7:52 pm108Naytheist

It’s three weeks since Jealous posted. I might as well worship that lazy-ass Reclining Buddha.
on 10 Oct 2009 at 7:54 pm109Naytheist

Or the tree gods. But I’m too heterosexual for that.
on 10 Oct 2009 at 8:12 pm110Naytheist

I think my toilet is clogged. It smells like my ass.

I’m too lazy to do anything about it. Who can I pray to?
on 10 Oct 2009 at 11:00 pm111Naytheist

Wow, I dont even remember making these comments. I’m so wasted..
on 11 Oct 2009 at 4:00 am112Hume Cronyn

…and stupid.
on 11 Oct 2009 at 5:44 am113Nun Ur Damned Bizness

FACE!!
on 11 Oct 2009 at 5:56 am114Josh

who gets wasted at home in front of their computer then comes to God’s blog and talks about it. Only drunks and losers drink alone.

…and stupid.
on 11 Oct 2009 at 2:17 pm115Jim

Computers are a good thing to talk to, Josh. Considering his cats won’t listen anymore, that is.
on 11 Oct 2009 at 3:22 pm116Naytheist

Who says I got wasted at home and alone? I didn’t.

Yes Hume and Josh, alcohol makes you stupid. That’s the whole point of drinking.
on 12 Oct 2009 at 2:22 pm117anne johnson

#115: FACE.
on 12 Oct 2009 at 2:24 pm118anne johnson

Well, God, it’s now Columbus Day, and if you don’t watch out, all of your disciples will be decamping for Pharyngula — like he needs more commenters.

Naytheist, “basically fondue” is something you dip your dick in.

From Fair Anne!
on 12 Oct 2009 at 2:28 pm119Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Anne is right, Naytheist. Please go dip your dick in fondue so you can truly fit in. Thank you.
on 12 Oct 2009 at 3:59 pm120Naytheist

Thanks but no thanks, my girlfriend doesn’t like cheesy snacks.

I’m amazed at all these negative comments. I thought that everybody here was a raging alcoholic.
on 13 Oct 2009 at 1:13 am121Smoggy Batzrubble

Dear God,

Why is that big finger of yours brown on the tip? Have you been sticking it up Jesus’s bottom again?

Nun you know you want me
Anne, you know you want to fuck a tree
Cracka, you know you want to shoot someone
Ben, you know we want you to shut up
Hume, you know I want my broom back
Whatever happened to:
Zeus
Curtis
and all those other losers?
Sigh…the good ol’ days.

Cracka, you sound as sad as your gravatar looks.
on 13 Oct 2009 at 1:55 am122Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I miss Lucifer. Lucifer used to manifest as different hot guys and we’d go out “drinking” which really meant we fucked like bunnies. Cute and cuddly demonic bunnies. Now Lucifer is not here to manifest as different hot guys but ben is here to tell me that I’ll never really fuck all those hot guys because I don’t actually know them. Fucking ben.
on 13 Oct 2009 at 3:41 pm123uppity cracka

hypothetical whore!!!
on 13 Oct 2009 at 6:02 pm124Postman

God sure has hated me for a long time. Twenty-two days now. I must have really let Him down.
on 13 Oct 2009 at 10:15 pm125anne johnson

Gee, a postman letting someone down? That’s fucking novel.
on 14 Oct 2009 at 6:25 am126catmantoad

hell is a real place
permanent separation
from talking with god
on 14 Oct 2009 at 10:44 am127Naytheist

Are all these new people really ben?

Shut up new people
on 14 Oct 2009 at 1:57 pm128Naytheist

It looks like this blog is dead, so I’m signing off for good. See you all in the burning sulphur pits of Hell.

One last Bible quote for the road, Psalm 38 (abridged version, Naytheist):

“O lord, rebuke me not in thy wrath: neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.
For thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy hand presseth me sore.
My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness.
For my loins are filled with a loathsome disease: and there is no soundness in my flesh.
My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off.
They also that seek after my life lay snares for me: and they that seek my hurt speak mischievous things, and imagine deceits all the day long.”
on 14 Oct 2009 at 5:07 pm129Bei Shen

It’s been great knowing Nun, anne, Naytheist, cracker, ben, lilith, Y2M2, and a host of others. I regret not being able to bang Nun at least three times before signing off. It’s quite a shame.
on 14 Oct 2009 at 5:16 pm130Foppl's Siege Party

So that’s it? God bails because the GOP is rapidly shrinking to a singularity?

Thanks to all the funny folks on here. There are way too many to mention.

See you all in Hell!
on 14 Oct 2009 at 10:20 pm131God

To Whom It May Concern;

GO FUCK YOURSELF!

I AM FAR TOO BUSY TO PUT UP WITH YOUR SHIT! I UPDATE MY BLOG WHEN I DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT AND IF I FEEL LIKE GOING ON A BENDER FOR A COUPLE WEEKS OR MONTHS, THEN SO BE IT!

DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!
on 14 Oct 2009 at 10:53 pm132Naytheist

The anger management therapy is finally bearing fruit. God now has enough selfcontrol to focus His Anger squarely on us, and whenever he feels like it.
on 14 Oct 2009 at 10:53 pm133Naytheist

Bei, I’m sure Nun has banged you many times. Strictly hypothetically , of course.
on 15 Oct 2009 at 12:17 am134Curtis

Cracka - I’d love so much to hook up with you and converse in some other forum than this one.

Please contact me, you sad bigoted grimacing yellow orb.

God, Nun, and Josh may still have my contact info if you wish. I give them permission to pass it along.

Hope to hear from you. Basically fondue.

Shut up Ben.
on 15 Oct 2009 at 12:28 am135Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Curtis and Cracka sittin’ in a tree.

Wow. God is super pissed. I’ll bet it’s Naytheist’s fault.
on 15 Oct 2009 at 2:07 am136Smoggy Batzrubble

Hey Curtis, dontcha want to hear from me? I always tried to be pleasant in my own twisted way.

Smoggy
on 15 Oct 2009 at 9:33 am137Naytheist

In real life, Nun is a man.

A big, hairy ape of a man who likes to wear floral print dresses and garter belts, and fantasises about being anally ganbanged in the showers by the Philadelphia Eagles.
on 15 Oct 2009 at 12:39 pm138Obie

God is either acting liking a petulant child or the one we know and love from the OT. Fucking pussy….
on 16 Oct 2009 at 2:02 am139Christian The Jew

God’s in the news again
http://www.fark.com/cgi/go.pl?i=4703021&l=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/6338320/Texas-man-faces-execution-after-jurors-consult-Bible-to-decide-fate.html
on 16 Oct 2009 at 2:42 pm140Nun Ur Damned Bizness

God,

Please smite the Heenes by imprisoning them in a UFO shaped balloon and float them away to Mars. Also, please make somebody beat the brats they raised.
on 16 Oct 2009 at 9:39 pm141Naytheist

@139: God wrote that passage about smiting with iron so that some burglar from Texas would get a lethal injection 2500 years later. It fills him with childish glee.
on 16 Oct 2009 at 11:23 pm142Christian The Jew

Far be it for us to understand His great plans within His Textbook.
on 16 Oct 2009 at 11:25 pm143Nun Ur Damned Bizness

You don’t have to kiss up to Him, Christian. You’re a Jew and one of His chosen darlings.
on 17 Oct 2009 at 1:43 am144anne johnson

I’m not gonna die because God tells me to. I’m damned well gonna stay alive for a Halloween that falls on a Saturday. Go get purged, God, and then try to think of something else to hate.
on 17 Oct 2009 at 8:36 am145Naytheist

He will.
on 17 Oct 2009 at 3:34 pm146anne johnson

#145: faith that moves molehills.
on 17 Oct 2009 at 4:10 pm147Naytheist

That’s right, I have faith. I believe with all my heart that He will throw another hissy tantrum very soon.
on 17 Oct 2009 at 4:17 pm148Anonymous

I think it should matter whether the defendant smote his victim with the barrel or stock of the rifle, myself. Unless it was one of those newfangled assault-style rifles with a composite stock, anyway. Wooden stock, the guy should be golden. Kevlar stock, or beat him with the barrel, let him fry. He doesn’t sound like a very nice person, in any case.
on 17 Oct 2009 at 4:19 pm149Jim

I. Am. Not. Anonymous!
on 17 Oct 2009 at 6:41 pm150Naytheist

#148: the bible says `smote with iron’, so I assume it was the barrel.

I agree that such inexpert handling of a firearm warrants the chair, but in Texas they use injections. Less spectacular, but the result is much the same.
on 18 Oct 2009 at 5:31 am151Hume Cronyn

Shut up ben
you inflamed dickhole
on 18 Oct 2009 at 12:42 pm152Naytheist

I. Am. Not. Ben!
on 19 Oct 2009 at 11:52 am153Dead_MJ!

HAHAHA….Me and Satan are now playing in our whole new never never land! Its fucking awesome. God you gotta cum here! Satan is fucking planning to create another Disney Land ! another one! yeeehaw…Now who says Satan is bad…You?? atleast someone loves you!.. your getting my point, dont you?
on 20 Oct 2009 at 1:28 pm154Naytheist

I dont think anyone gets your point. Five stars for the most incoherent post yet.
on 20 Oct 2009 at 1:31 pm155Obie

That’s saying a lot with some of Cracka’a ramblings….
on 20 Oct 2009 at 2:20 pm156Naytheist

Preach on brother Obie!

God’s ways are mysterious indeed:
http://news.stv.tv/scotland/west-central/131419-ikea-jesus-image-sparks-debate-among-shoppers/

What is Jesus trying to tell us here? “Shop at Ikea”?
on 20 Oct 2009 at 2:46 pm157Jim

Looks as much like Cthulhu as Jeebus, WTF!
on 20 Oct 2009 at 5:41 pm158Lilith

Why is everyone still hanging around this blog? It is perfectly clear that God (that lazy sonovabitch) has buggered off permanently and abandoned it, because it did not result in the desired notoriety for him in the blogosphere? Jeez, get a life and go elsewhere, people! It’s getting creepy, like all those deluded Christians waiting around a couple of thousand years for the Second Coming of Christ. “Any minute now! now! now!”
on 21 Oct 2009 at 1:35 am159Hume Cronyn

Good thing lilith is here to guide us
out of the darkness*

*anne’s vagina
on 21 Oct 2009 at 1:35 am160Hume Cronyn

also, shut up you dreary cunt
on 21 Oct 2009 at 2:27 am161Lilith

Coming from you, Hume, those are words of high praise indeed!
on 21 Oct 2009 at 2:54 am162Foppl's Siege Party

How about an argument to get things going again?

I say that Werner Heisenberg intentionally misled the Nazi quest for a nuclear bomb.

If you disagree, I humbly suggest that you go fuck yourself.
on 21 Oct 2009 at 1:10 pm1634rchn3m3s1s

new jersey is awesome.

journey rocks.

coffee is good.

this blog is so much funnier than that “stuff white people like” blog.

i hope gods bender isn’t one of those 7 day ones like it took to create the universe and shit. i’d like to live to see another post.
on 21 Oct 2009 at 1:29 pm164Anonymous

God — what is your take on ‘weed’? Was it a devilish ploy of Satan to inflict human race with a delusional heaven in hell by creating ‘Weed’ or was it your personal wish to treat humans with a blessed plant?
on 21 Oct 2009 at 1:30 pm165Dead_Mj

God — what is your take on ‘weed’? Was it a devilish ploy of Satan to inflict human race with a delusional heaven in hell by creating ‘Weed’ or was it your personal wish to treat humans with a blessed plant?
on 21 Oct 2009 at 5:52 pm166Naytheist

It was a devilish ploy by God.
on 21 Oct 2009 at 5:53 pm167Naytheist

To destroy the lives of young men like Herbman.
on 21 Oct 2009 at 10:24 pm168Foppl's Siege Party

@ 4rchn3m3s1s:

“journey rocks” That’s a good one!
on 22 Oct 2009 at 3:06 am169Hume Cronyn

braying fools, the lot of you
on 22 Oct 2009 at 3:07 am170Hume Cronyn

century
plus 69 =
my life
my thing
on 22 Oct 2009 at 3:07 am171Hume Cronyn

now fuck off
on 22 Oct 2009 at 3:18 am172Nun Ur Damned Bizness

All the 69s should be mine because I’m kind of slutty.
on 22 Oct 2009 at 6:14 pm173Dr. Herbman

ok, everything gets out of control when me and God are out.

that´s just one more test to our faith in God, he did not forgot us, he´s just testing to see who is the real believer of all time.

i have no problems about getting on this blog everyday when get from work ou the gym, and sit down, smoking a class A beloved blessed chiba, relax, read stupid people coments and some times laugh.

*JOSH is so gay, and obvious in love for me, that he wants in every possible ways say to everybody that i am gay… i already baged Nun, Freaking Jhonson, Cracka´s mom and the best fuck -> Josh´s wife. And guess who´s going to be the next…. (all that just around here…)

Said.
on 22 Oct 2009 at 6:15 pm174Naytheist

Talking about sluts, check out Eve in her full Crumbesque glory:

http://hectocotylus.blogspot.com/2009/06/robert-crumb-genesis.html
on 22 Oct 2009 at 6:18 pm175Dr. Herbman

GOD DAMN IT. I´M GOOD!!

thank you god for making me so damn good, you made me with so much brain mass that i can smoke as much chiba as i want and will never get stupid.
on 22 Oct 2009 at 6:19 pm176Dr. Herbman

also thank you for the size of my dick… i don´t care about quickenings… last time i got a quickening my dick got so big that did not fit the condon….
on 22 Oct 2009 at 6:24 pm177Dr. Herbman

shut up naytheist… you are a theethless mother fucker!
uaHIUahuiAHUIah
on 22 Oct 2009 at 6:31 pm178Dr. Herbman

i remember the time the posts had like 600 700 or 800 coments…. some shit so funny auhauiha

i already changed from my last work, i do not work with lerbwoman anymore, and i still have her book about a good nutricion to get muscle and shit… that´s why Nun in love with me too…. she liked some much the times we get together… but that´s in the past now, im getting a 16 old teen that is craaaaaaazy!!

thank you God for the 16 old sluts. =)
on 22 Oct 2009 at 6:31 pm179Dr. Herbman

*16 YEARS old.
on 22 Oct 2009 at 8:22 pm180Naytheist

And Herbman comes out of nowhere and leaves Dead_MJ in the dust..

I hereby declare Herbman the undisputed Olympic champion of incoherent rambling!
on 22 Oct 2009 at 8:29 pm181Obie

Naytheist, that’s what happens when you plow through an ounce of California Sensamelia every week……
on 22 Oct 2009 at 9:48 pm182Naytheist

People that get wasted and then spend their time posting about it are just tragic..

Obie, judging by the look in your eyes, you are speaking from experience?
on 22 Oct 2009 at 9:54 pm183Naytheist

Herbman, I just found out that your teen slut is really 13. She’s a little precocious because of all the hormone meat from the school cafetaria, and she has a fake ID of course.

I have informed the Brazilian police, they should be kicking your door down in a few hours. Maybe you can bribe them with your stash.
on 22 Oct 2009 at 10:21 pm184Obie

Why not Naytheist, it’s not like He is around anymore to smite me…..LIVE FREE, BITCHES!!!!!!
on 22 Oct 2009 at 10:57 pm185Naytheist

So that’s it? That’s the Eschaton, that’s the way we go out? When God has finally forsaken us, we just all dust off our bongs, light up and listen to Cypress Hill, and then die out because we forgot to breed?

It’s certainly mellower than those oldskool horsemen-style apocalypses, but, I don’t know, it just seems such an anti-climax when the seven golden candlesticks turn out to be lavalamps.
on 23 Oct 2009 at 2:12 am186anne johnson

Herb Freakin Man be so chippin yo. He wanna sex me, he wanna text me, LOL LOL

Fucker’s burstin his Trokans, he be dat big. Pone! Fer real, he a tool.
on 23 Oct 2009 at 1:20 pm187Obie

Naytheist, you forgot eating Cheez-Its and gaming on the Playstation. Granted, it is quite anti-climatic and won’t translate well to a fable being passed down for generations. But even if I am a bit apprehensive at the dedication it will require at the onset, I am somewhat comfortable with that fate.

Add to that fact, you got all these nut-jobs who say they would turn to murder, rape and pillaging if He wasn’t around to smite their Redneck asses in retribution - I am terrified of leaving my house. A lot of that has to do with me now living in MS, where I am scared of leaving the house under normal circumstances.
on 23 Oct 2009 at 7:50 pm188Dr. Herbman

somebody told you were a snitch Naytheist, im sending killas for you and the first thing i told them to do is to take out the last fucking teeth you have in the mouth… just wait for it.

will put pounder on your ass and fire the shit with the flame from my half an ounce giant blunch….

*ever since i nailed anne freaking johnson she never speaked right again…. she only wants to be my biitch now!!

“i´m your pimp, you my biatch…”
on 23 Oct 2009 at 7:50 pm189Naytheist

@186: Yes Anne, he is definitely a tool.

@187: You live in MS, Obie? I can see why the impending Apocalypse doesn’t seem to faze you.

Ok, I need to get a Playstation.
on 23 Oct 2009 at 7:54 pm190Dr. Herbman

and naytheist, dont be stupid… the only 13 year old slut i got was your little sister.

God is proof that im saying the truth! He banged her too in the same time!! crazy shit.
on 23 Oct 2009 at 7:55 pm191Dr. Herbman

SAID.
on 23 Oct 2009 at 7:56 pm192Dr. Herbman

===========================*~~~~~
on 23 Oct 2009 at 10:11 pm193Naytheist

You’re such a stud, Herbman, bustin’ condoms and shit.

You’re also, by your own admission, a pedofile. I bet you also let yourself be mounted by farm animals, you’re a brazilian after all.
on 24 Oct 2009 at 7:47 am194Dead_Mj

Naytheist, dude you are one piece of shit lost out of main portion! Why do you attempt to poke your nose when I ask a devine question to the supreme? I was hoping to gain some solidarity from god and of course some blessings too by buttering him up with complex yet thoughful questions…you ruined my plan!
on 24 Oct 2009 at 4:14 pm195Naytheist

Glad to hear it.
on 24 Oct 2009 at 6:30 pm196Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Dead_Mj is an imposter. Not once have I seen him say “shamon”.
on 24 Oct 2009 at 8:09 pm197Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I have a question for Josh… how much do you care about the Dodgers? If you do, you should watch an HBO special called The Ghosts of Flatbush.
on 25 Oct 2009 at 2:54 am198Tony

Ben, Josh, Cracka …
on 25 Oct 2009 at 2:55 am199Tony

I feel like I’m all alone here
on 25 Oct 2009 at 2:55 am200Tony

Anybody out there ? ? ?
on 25 Oct 2009 at 10:26 am201Naytheist

You are the voice of one calling in the desert.
on 25 Oct 2009 at 8:25 pm202uppity cracka

well, whore, i now hate ben roethlisberger, too. two flukes and a phantom “tripping” call. the steelers are the luckiest sacks of shit in the league.

shut up, ben.
on 25 Oct 2009 at 8:32 pm203Nun Ur Damned Bizness

The tripping call sucked but it still doesn’t change the fact that the good, ol’ Brett Favre from the last few years reared his ugly head today.
on 26 Oct 2009 at 9:30 pm204anne johnson

I’m looking forward to seeing all the arrogant Yankee fans who will come to Philly to watch a game. They had better have excellent health insurance with low deductibles. Kevlar and bad breath will not protect them here.
on 26 Oct 2009 at 9:37 pm205Obie

Something tells me that Anne has a twenty pack of D size Duracell’s in the freezer….She even looks bitchy in her photo…
on 27 Oct 2009 at 2:18 am206Ben

I hate people who think they’re better than other people. I’m so much better than those people.
on 27 Oct 2009 at 2:24 am207Jim

The ghost of Ben is back, right in time for Halloween! I was getting tired of Naytheist, anyway.
on 27 Oct 2009 at 4:00 am208Ben

sigh…

i’m not naytheist. dick.
on 27 Oct 2009 at 6:39 am209dick

Ya caught me…
on 27 Oct 2009 at 4:23 pm210Anonymous

im your pimp you my biaaatch.
on 27 Oct 2009 at 9:35 pm211anne johnson

shut up ben.

Oh, that felt good.
on 29 Oct 2009 at 8:43 pm212Naytheist

ben is not me, ben is herbman.
on 30 Oct 2009 at 2:30 pm213Naytheist

Check out response 467 to “People Who Hate Abortion”.

“jesus and god are white it’s been provine. no im not rastic it’s just a fact”

“thing in this world god created but not everything like shopping malls,athicst churchs”

good stuff.
on 30 Oct 2009 at 2:34 pm214Obie

I have a church to attend? I need to get out more often.
on 31 Oct 2009 at 1:36 pm215Naytheist

yes you have, if you are an athicst.
on 31 Oct 2009 at 1:57 pm216Foppl's Siege Party

@213:

Yeah, that’s pretty funny, but it doesn’t pass the POE stink test.
on 31 Oct 2009 at 2:40 pm217Obie

Naytheist, this site is proof alone that there is no God.
on 01 Nov 2009 at 1:42 am218uppity cracka

this site is proof that nun is a whore.
on 01 Nov 2009 at 1:43 am219uppity cracka

for halloween i’m going as a grumpy yellow circle with a unibrow.
on 01 Nov 2009 at 8:10 pm220dayAfter

Halloween.
Geez, who would have thought that God could hate
the collective “YOU” worse than happy kids
running around in the dark on sugar highs?
Shouldn’t He be really, REALLY mad about now?
on 02 Nov 2009 at 12:46 am221Naytheist

@216 Ah, you mean Poe’s Law. You might be right, I tend to assume the worst. Occasionaly, reality turns out to be even worse then that

At first I took you literally and got some scary links from Google that I didn’t dare follow.
on 02 Nov 2009 at 12:50 am222Naytheist

I bet Herbman was handing out herbal treats for halloween.
on 02 Nov 2009 at 7:11 pm223Foppl's Siege Party

Well, then Nun surely went to Herbman’s for Halloween!
on 02 Nov 2009 at 7:21 pm224Obie

You mean Nun is a whore AND a dope fiend….Suh-weeeet! Nun, where you livin’ baby!
on 02 Nov 2009 at 10:52 pm225Foppl's Siege Party

As you know, she’s not a whore. She prefers “charity” to commerce.

Also, as you can see from her avatar, she’s a comely lass!
on 03 Nov 2009 at 12:22 am226Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I AM NOT A WHORE!! As Foppl pointed out, I prefer charity.

I did indeed go to Herbman’s for Halloween. God was there on a Divine Bender. I fucked Him but He probably won’t remember on account of being passed out and all.
on 03 Nov 2009 at 3:10 pm227Jim

Back in my ute the line was thick, Nun. The whores gave it away, which to a po’ boy like myself was preferable to the prostitutes, who were way out of my price range.

What I mean to say is, I like whores…
on 03 Nov 2009 at 6:08 pm228Foppl's Siege Party

Check out his headline:

Nun Found Dead on Navajo Reservation

NOOOOOOOOO!

I wonder if she accidentally swallowed a bong.
on 03 Nov 2009 at 6:12 pm229Obie

They should probably check the residents for Venereal Diseases after she slept with Him over the weekend.
on 03 Nov 2009 at 6:25 pm230Nun Ur Damned Bizness

No Divine Venereal Diseases to worry about, Obie. I used a boxed cock that was wrapped in a dozen Divinity strength condoms. I love God but I know how He rolls.

And I wasn’t dead, Foppl. Merely passed out from the best damned peyote I’ve ever experienced.
on 03 Nov 2009 at 6:28 pm231Foppl's Siege Party

Peyote, huh? I always preferred acid. I could never get that nasty taste out of my mouth, thus ruining the trip.
on 03 Nov 2009 at 6:46 pm232Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Acid is better, no argument from me on that but the red-man can’t afford the acid so they make do with their precious peyote.

I wonder if peyote goes down better with some of those tasty flavored waters, like meth.
on 03 Nov 2009 at 6:55 pm233Obie

What?!?!?!? Is acid expensive now? Back when I was following around God on Earth, or Jerry Garcia for the uninitiated, buying acid was cheaper than the dollar menu at McDonald’s…..You could get a 6 pack of Natties, a double cheeseburger, a sheet of blotter and a cheap whore like Nun for under $10. Fuck, I’m getting old…..
on 03 Nov 2009 at 7:02 pm234Nun Ur Damned Bizness

DAMN IT!! I AM NOT A WHORE!! Damn you, Obie! But if I was a whore, I’d be worth more than ten bucks.

And the red-man can’t afford anything, not even the dollar menu at McDonald’s.
on 03 Nov 2009 at 7:22 pm235Obie

Sorry Nun. But you should direct your ire at Naytheist for e-mailing me those pictures of you. Either you’re getting paid cash money or you have an affinity for Peruvian midgets in replica Conquistador attire.
on 03 Nov 2009 at 7:35 pm236Nun Ur Damned Bizness

What’s wrong with Peruvian midgets? People shouldn’t be so quick to judge.

And Naytheist is just bitter and angry because I like ben better than him.
on 03 Nov 2009 at 7:47 pm237Obie

I wasn’t judging - Merely making an observation. But, then again, I wasn’t the one doing those….sick and evil…..things…to…..them….You’re a woman of the cloth, for His Sake!!!!
on 03 Nov 2009 at 7:49 pm238Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Don’t blame me. God created me in His Own Perverted Image. Except I have a vajayjay.
on 03 Nov 2009 at 9:34 pm239anne johnson

I admire the way you rock, Nun. I wouldn’t go there with God on a bet. Maybe the pigeon that says “hell, yeah.” But not God.
on 04 Nov 2009 at 12:33 am240Anonymous

Is god dead?
was nietzsche right?
on 04 Nov 2009 at 6:44 am241pissedoffjew

God I thought I should ask you a question regarding scripture if you really are god.

Isaiah states that man has two souls an animal soul and a human soul.

God tells moses I will make you a god unto pharaoh and aaron a prophet unto pharaoh. Is it true that the holy spirit enters moses’ body displacing his animal soul and then it enters aaron’s body displacing aaron’s animal soul which enters the staff and becomes the snake?

If this is true what do moses and aaron meditate on to perform this miracle. Or, what do they say? Do they use your divine names?

What do the egyptian sorcerers say in their encantations to perform the same miracle?
on 04 Nov 2009 at 10:30 am242Hal

My God, talk about overreacting. I’m sure you’ll rethink this and kick your own ass for having been a little excessive.

Anyway, only about 90 percent of us are bad. The other 10 percent are just horrible. Go after them.
on 04 Nov 2009 at 6:08 pm243Foppl's Siege Party

Hal brings up a good point. If god is infallible and he created us in his own image (vajayjays excluded, sorry Nun) and he hates us, no wonder he’s on a bender of cosmic proportions.
on 04 Nov 2009 at 6:15 pm244Naytheist

@241: what does Isaiah know? moses and aaron were on peyote. in order to meet their animal spirits. which turned out to be snakes.

the egyptian sorcerers were really Peruvian midgets. they performed as exotic dancers for the Pharao’s delight.
on 04 Nov 2009 at 8:19 pm245Dr. Herbman

MARIJHUANA!!
on 05 Nov 2009 at 4:23 am246Bei Shen

Wanda Sykes on FOX? What the fuck, God? WHAT - THE - FUCK ?
on 10 Nov 2009 at 10:16 pm247Foppl's Siege Party

Jeebus! It would even be good to see Bridgette’s fat face here again…
on 11 Nov 2009 at 12:23 pm248Naytheist

Bridgette does not visit Him-forsaken places.
on 12 Nov 2009 at 4:12 am249uppity cracka

still faggin’ out around here? shit. motherfucking shit.

curtis commented way back there! i love that fag! have to talk to that homo sometime.

bridgette’s a fat cunt.
on 12 Nov 2009 at 4:12 am250uppity cracka

there can be only one half!!!!!!
on 13 Nov 2009 at 9:15 pm251Dr. Herbman

Shut up Cracka.

said.
on 15 Nov 2009 at 4:06 am252anne johnson

God is weed.
on 15 Nov 2009 at 4:08 am253anne johnson

God bled, God is dead, and we thank Him for our bread. Said.

Adieu, fine thread.
on 15 Nov 2009 at 9:29 pm254uppity cracka

seahawks are next, whore!!!! DIE, SEACHICKENS, DIE!!!!
on 16 Nov 2009 at 2:58 pm255Dr. Herbman

shut up cracka!
on 16 Nov 2009 at 4:19 pm256Hume Cronyn

benmantheist = God quits His blog
on 16 Nov 2009 at 6:38 pm257Foppl's Siege Party

I think that the person who was doing this blog gave up when it became apparent that they weren’t going to get a really sweet book deal like the asshat who does ‘Things White People Like.’

Said.
on 16 Nov 2009 at 10:36 pm258MyTiger'sEye

God hates us. And you guys are SWEARING to God. He has been nice to you. You people have really bad manners, you know that? I’m not a christian yet, but I still have respect for Him.
on 16 Nov 2009 at 10:37 pm259MyTiger'sEye

God may hate you PERMANENTLY now. Sheesh, you guys are such bad mannered people.
on 16 Nov 2009 at 10:39 pm260MyTiger'sEye

(good) (bad)
on 19 Nov 2009 at 2:13 pm261Naytheist

After all this therapy we’ve finally come to the core of the problem. He’s frustrated bacause he can’t get a bookdeal, surprising given his omnipotence. Are publishers more powerful than God?

Anyway, it’s no reason to hate us. He should smite the publishers instead, and get into Publishing On Demand.
on 19 Nov 2009 at 3:44 pm262Foppl's Siege Party

Yes, Nay! I hope he starts with Harper-Collins for foisting that fucking Sarah Palin on us.
on 20 Nov 2009 at 3:17 am263Hume Cronyn

Fuck off. Everyone.
on 20 Nov 2009 at 3:06 pm264Foppl's Siege Party

“But HOW should we fuck off, O Lord?” (apologies to Monty Python)
on 20 Nov 2009 at 3:26 pm265Jim

I was gonna nominate this joint for a Weblog award today, too. Way to puss out, God.
on 21 Nov 2009 at 4:20 pm266Naytheist

Fear not, the folks at Harper-Collins are on the ass-raping demons’ wish list, as well as all of their offspring.

Yea, for up to the seventh generation will the ass-raping be. Seven will be the number, and the number will be seven. Not esix, nor eight etc
on 22 Nov 2009 at 6:13 pm267uppity cracka

seahawks suck
on 23 Nov 2009 at 12:21 am268Curtis

Oh Cracka. Your poor, pathetic Seahawks. The Huskeys are even worse. Still, I wouldn’t mind going out “drinking” with you some time. Chat me up, you adorable unibrow yellow orb.

Shut up, Ben.

If it ain’t King James, it ain’t Bible. Basically fondue. Said.
on 23 Nov 2009 at 11:27 pm269Smoggy Batzrubble

Cracka,

Curtis wants to kiss your willy. I think you should let him.

I’ll bet Nun has never gone this long without commenting in her entire life.
on 26 Nov 2009 at 7:45 pm270uppity cracka

nun hearts the seahawks.

i heart the vikings…so, i’m good.
on 26 Nov 2009 at 7:45 pm271uppity cracka

happy thanksgiving and shit, bitches.
on 27 Nov 2009 at 5:28 pm272Jim

An 85 year-old woman farted in my face on Thanksgiving, so that worked out well for me.
on 27 Nov 2009 at 8:41 pm273The L Woman

Test
on 27 Nov 2009 at 8:44 pm274The L Woman

I can’t believe it.
I’m back!
Hey Dr. Herbman, so… you haev a new girlfriend?
What happened to the other one?
And about my book, damn it man, give me back.
There is something i want to tell. There is this girl in the university… she is so fucking hot
She drives me crazy, I need to find a way to have her. I don’t fucking care if I’m married.
on 28 Nov 2009 at 6:52 am275Bei Shen

I’m hot and all tingled already!
on 04 Dec 2009 at 2:47 pm276Dr. Herbman

L WOMAN!!

how are you… nice to see you in that Pacha party…

and yes, the book… chit that thing gives me nightmares… i know onw day you will pay someone to kill me because of that book, so i will look for it, and give it back…

swear.

Please God, help me find L woman’s book.

if i find the book i will take out on page and roll a joint on it.
on 04 Dec 2009 at 2:58 pm277Dr. Herbman

about that girl…
send her to me!
on 04 Dec 2009 at 5:56 pm278Naytheist

Herbman reads books!?
on 04 Dec 2009 at 8:34 pm279Foppl's Siege Party

I think he only uses the pages as rolling papers. Sarah Palin’s book ought to be useful in this manner.
on 05 Dec 2009 at 8:24 am280Naytheist

No man, that would just give you a bad trip.

Wiping your ass with pages from said book is guaranteed to give you cancaer of the colon.
on 20 Dec 2009 at 9:32 pm281srwrangler

Dear God, why hath thy forsaken me?
on 21 Dec 2009 at 12:33 pm282Naytheist

Holy, see?

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/holy_see_declares_unique_copyright_on_papal_figure
on 23 Dec 2009 at 2:47 am283anne johnson

Merry Christmas, God. Boundaries are for pussies.
on 24 Dec 2009 at 11:19 pm284Jim

Merry Fucking Christmas, fellow losers!
on 29 Dec 2009 at 12:36 am285Josh

where are Nun and Cracka? What about the old man Yo Yo? I see Curtis has returned (I was at a gay bar last night to tape a comedy show).

I just spoke to Anne.

I see Dr. Herbman is still a one trick pony.
on 30 Dec 2009 at 12:18 am286anne johnson

Curtis, if you see this … we can post menus here to our heart’s content with a lot less oversight than back in the day. I’m at the Vo-Tech full time now, and they serve awesome lunches, never a hint of fondue.
on 30 Dec 2009 at 6:08 pm287uppity cracka

no fondue? fuck that!!!
on 30 Dec 2009 at 6:08 pm288uppity cracka

no fondue? fuck that!!!
on 31 Dec 2009 at 2:07 pm289anne johnson

Said and said.
on 31 Dec 2009 at 10:56 pm290Christian The Jew

So Happy New Year… Where the fuck did God go?
Is he coming back this year, or is he just going to allow the Apocalypse already?
on 05 Jan 2010 at 10:01 pm291Nun Ya so Fuck Off

Hola Bitcholas!!

I ain’t dead. Yet.

Hope all you fuck-nuts are doing well. Except for ben.
on 06 Jan 2010 at 2:35 am292Hume Cronyn

I killed ben so God would return to His blog, but I don’t think it worked.
At least ben is dead though.
on 06 Jan 2010 at 8:26 pm293Naytheist

Nun hopes I’m doing well! That’s proof that there is no God.
on 06 Jan 2010 at 8:33 pm294Obie

Sorry Nayheist - This video proves otherwise. Plus, whores lie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVFpjj594IQ&feature=player_embedded
on 06 Jan 2010 at 8:33 pm295Nun Ya Damned Mother Fucking Bizness

No I don’t, Nay. I just forgot to single you out for my mortal hate.
on 06 Jan 2010 at 8:34 pm296Nun Ya Damned Mother Fucking Bizness

I AM NOT A WHORE!! Mother fucker!!
on 07 Jan 2010 at 1:48 am297Jim

That’s the Nun I’ve been missing…
on 07 Jan 2010 at 4:58 am298Anonymous
on 07 Jan 2010 at 12:56 pm299Josh

there can be only………..
on 07 Jan 2010 at 12:56 pm300Josh

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on 07 Jan 2010 at 4:01 pm301Nun Ur Damned Mother Fucking Bizness

Wow! Anonymous is so fucking clever!! I wish I would have thought about using all the emoticons because anybody who would do something like that must be a mother-fucking genius or some shit.

God,

I don’t expect You to answer as You’re involved in Your year long Divine Bender but why must You hate my Seahawks so? What the fuck did they do to You?
on 07 Jan 2010 at 4:21 pm302Obie

Nun, you just fail to see the brilliance in it. See the patterned order disrupting into chaos with the repetition of the punctuation.

Apparently, it is a metaphor for what has happened to this site. Pure Genius!!!
on 07 Jan 2010 at 5:04 pm303Nun Ur Damned Mother Fucking Bizness

I said he was a mother-fucking genius, didn’t I?
on 07 Jan 2010 at 5:36 pm304Obie

Well, Nun’s lie……
on 07 Jan 2010 at 5:46 pm305Nun Ur Damned Mother Fucking Bizness

… down but sometimes I do it standing up too. I’m full of creativity in that way.
on 08 Jan 2010 at 11:51 pm306uppity cracka

nobody else on the internet understands me. you guys are like the virtual metaphor for “the one that got away”. no matter how many other blogs i crash or whores i fuck…it just doesn’t compare to what we had.

i can only assume yoyo’s old age finally killed him. “he died of natural causes” like that britney what’s-her-name.

still run into smoggy over at pharyngula from time to time. still fucks sheep. lives some weird place with hobbits and shit. we did the right thing letting him go.
on 09 Jan 2010 at 3:01 am307Nun Ur Damned Bizness

If it makes you feel any better, Cracka… I’ve never seen a penis as small as yours so I guess you’re like the one that got away too. The one with the really tiny penis.

I’m drunk and my boss is a pervert and makes me uncomfortable. And I miss Smoggy. Even if he is a sheep fucker.
on 09 Jan 2010 at 2:34 pm308Foppl's Siege Party

Check this out:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Dinosaur-Human-Track-Fossil-Discovered_W0QQitemZ270506725676QQcategoryZ4259QQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp4340.m263QQ_trkparmsZalgo=SIC&its=I%2BC&itu=UCI%2BIA%2BUA%2BFICS%2BUFI%2BDDSIC&otn=10&ps=63#ht_548wt_1182

It’s so bad on so many levels….
on 14 Jan 2010 at 1:48 pm309Yo Yo Ma Ma

He’s baa–ack!

Hey all, I see nothing’s changed: Cracka still hates the world, Nun’s still denying her whoredom, Josh is still cracking jokes. (But he’s not a Cracka).

I’m on Facebook, look for Yo Yo Ma Ma.

Where’s God?

I’d worked through my grief at my Dad’s passing away, then my father-in-law passed. Dad went quick, a matter of an hour. Father in law was in a nursing home for four months, dying slowing, forgetting who he was. Both ways suck.

Anyway, I’m back, still employed, still enjoying the cold Maine weather.
on 14 Jan 2010 at 3:23 pm310Josh

no one mentioned my quickening!!! fuck you guys!!!

hey yo yo. my condolences.
on 15 Jan 2010 at 4:56 pm311Yo Yo Ma Ma

Hey Josh,

Thanks, it’s been a rough year. What’s new here? Looks like God has taken a holiday.

And congrats on your quickening!
on 18 Jan 2010 at 3:41 pm312

hey god, why not ask dr. acula a question?
bye
rolfi
on 18 Jan 2010 at 4:04 pm313rolfi

http://askdracula.wordpress.com
sorry here’s the link
on 19 Jan 2010 at 6:08 pm314Josh

why would God need to ask Dr. Acula a question? He’s God, Dr. Acula is just an old legend that is being corrupted by glittery homo vampires who can go out in the sun.
on 20 Jan 2010 at 12:38 am315Bei Shen

Is there any midget here?
on 20 Jan 2010 at 7:41 pm316Yo Yo Ma Ma

Midget? Let me smell my finger.
on 27 Jan 2010 at 7:16 pm317uppity cracka

thanks again, vikings.

4 super bowls.
5 nfc championship games.

0 for fucking 9!!!!!

fucking favre, i knew he was gonna fuck us.

like nun’s vagina choking on an elephant gangbang—nauseated again.
on 28 Jan 2010 at 11:14 pm318The L Woman

Man, what is going on here?
God where are you?
Where is everybody?
Nun? Anne? Cracka? Josh? Yo yo? Dr. Herbman?
Is it the end of the world?
on 29 Jan 2010 at 8:53 pm319Yo Yo Ma Ma

Hey Cracka, you still have a way of turning a phrase that makes me feel ill when I visualize it!

L Woman, I dunno, I haven’t posted in a looong time.

Cracka, did the blog die? R U still employed? How about Nun?