Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
DAMN YOU PZ MEYERS!
I’m calling you out, bitch. You recently shattered the self-worth of My Loyal Servant Ken Ham, and his wounded pride cries out for justice. He’s actually taken to weeping.
PZ, how dare you attack poor Ken?! As one of the cursed offspring of Ham, Ken Ham is and always will be destined to live his life as a servant of smarter humans. HASN’T HE ALREADY SUFFERED ENOUGH?!
Listen, even I’ll admit Ken’s a bit…eccentric…but that doesn’t give people the right to make fun of him or his faith. Just because Ken believes that I - The Lord God Almighty on High - created the world in 7 days and then flooded it and killed everyone, it doesn’t make him an idiot! It makes him right.
APOLOGIZE PZ!
Paul Zachary Meyers, you are an atheist scientist and a worthy foe.* That being said, you and I both know that I know several very embarrassing facts about you of a, how shall I put it, personal nature?
If you want these details to stay quiet, I strongly advise you apologize to Ken Ham.
I know you’re an atheist who is therefore incapable of forgiveness or mercy, but I urge you, for the love of Me, give Ken Ham a call. Send him a gift basket. Smooth things over a bit.
APOLOGIZE! APOLOGIZE TO KEN HAM, DAMN YOU! HE NEVER DID YOU NO WRONG! AND HIS FRIENDS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU! APOLOGIZE!
* And I admire your beard.
Gene on 
ronpaulcandidate on 
jetaDeelp on 
Nun Ur Damned Bizness on 
The Ender on 
Yes, God. This attack on Ken Ham has gone on long enough! He may be a credulous douche bag who gives thinking Christians a bad name, but at least he’s OUR credulous-douche-bag-who-gives-thinking-Christians-a-bad-name. PZ Myers should be ashamed of himself for wanting to make a man weep who only wishes to destroy proper science and twist all the evidence to suit your marvelous Holy Book.
Smoggy
PS God, quietly, do you think you could send an angel to tell Ken Ham to either grow a mustache like you have or shave his beard off? At the moment he looks like half-shaved muff–neither a bald quim nor a hairy one. (”QUIM”–whisper it…love that word!)
Smoggy - I’ll see what I can do.
If it Ain’t in Genesis
Ken Ham doesn’t care …
“If you disagree with what I’m going to say, please do not give me your opinion, because I’m not interested…I want to know what the Bible says.”
Still, PZ is a cracker-desecrating asshole who deserves a smite.
Given that PZ is a godless atheist, I think this will have the opposite effect. I think poor Mr. Ham “OUR credulous-douche-bag-who-gives-thinking-Christians-a-bad-name” is going to be besotted by more mocking from PZ.
Poor poor Ken Ham.
you spelled his name wrong, it’s Myers not Meyers. Just letting you know
Cheezeis rice, this is a great parody blog. Thanks for the laughs.
I did that on purpose so that he may feel what Ken Ham is feeling right now - slighted, disrespected, and completely humiliated.
Yo, big guy in the sky — what’s the deal with all the beetles? I mean, you’re entitled to your obsessions but that one does seem a little peculiar.
God All Whitey, if you don’t stick up for Ken Ham, who the hell else will? Morons, that’s who. And they give You a bad name. And they send people running for religions that make more sense.
That PZ Myers thinks he’s so smart!
Lord, I am truly Your ignorant servant. Until You graced us with this post today, I had never heard of Ken Ham… Is he of some Amish decent?
Oh, and God, they’re trying to keep you out of the Zoo in Tulsa.
http://www.newson6.com/Global/story.asp?S=10888260
I can tell just how much research you have put into this by the fact you cannot even spell PZ’s name correctly. It is Myers, not Meyers.
Too many “y”s in “holiest”.
This is stupid. Since someone is an athiest they’re incapable of forgiveness or mercy? Are you fucking kidding me? If that wasn’t written as sarcasm, you have some problems. All your religious freaks do.
Psst… Frank. Parody. Look it up, dumbass.
Play him off, Keyboard Cat! Dumb de dumb dumb, dumb de dumb de dumb!
[...] must apologize to Ham-says God Posted in Skepdude by Skepdude on August 12, 2009 God has commanded PZ Meyers to apologize to Ken Ham for all the shenanigans Meyers and his atheist heathen followers committed during and after their [...]
I have no idea who these people are. Fox News never cover them as far as I know.
He’s actually taken to weeping.
Pictures, pleeeeeze!
Damn–I picked the wrong day to have my appointment with the Death Panel. This looks like fun…
And Ham has black friends.
I miss you God
Praise you Lord for telling it as it is to the Godless. I know it takes a lot of courage since those atheists are so mean. PRAISE!
PS I am your biggest fan God!
PPS Thanks for the new SUV! GLORY!
And for you unbelivers out there; Dr Myers name is spelt “Meyers” cause God says so, to there! God don’t make mistakes.
Bobby-Joe,
You are welcome My good and loyal servant. You are welcome for the SUV, and there’s plenty more where that came from. Thanks for the calf offering - that was a nice touch.
As for the rest of you, pay attention to how Bobby-Joe shows gratitude and praise to his Creator. That is how it is done.
That Peazee bloke is nothing but trouble. He’s got no answers about how evilooshun explains how the universe started, or gravity or anything like that. Plus he and his ilk got me fired from my cushy job.
Yeah, well you still have explained the beetles. Or poison ivy. What’s the point of that?
@cervantes: Well, it has been said that God loves beetles. As for poison ivy, maybe he loves itchy rashes, too…
@Dave: “Too many “y”s in “holiest”.”
It’s a supersuperlative.
It’s pronounced “ho - lee - ee - ist”
I am so loving all these new geometrical avatars. I could so go for some online geometrical experimentation with tsig. Frank would be adorable if he only had a brain.
God, while you are here, can you provide the long form version of Jesus’ Birth certificate. I am not saying that he wasn’t the son of God, just saying that at the moment there are some unanswered questions.
Is this where everybody kills the crap out of everyone else for you God? I never got that part.
As a long time pharyngula lurker I recall numerous times which a creotard or turd in general has spelled PZed’s name wrong, and it irked PZed. It only makes sense that the leader of such a tremendously stupid death cult would make such a mistake, all in keeping with teh stupid of his followers. (Or maybe God is spelling his name right, and PZed is just incurably obstinate in accepting God’s will?)
I pwn christians with my smiting hand. Ken Ham is a tool, he should have donated all the money he spent on that museum to PZ myers’s ‘Beard trim fund ‘09′.
BRB have to go wash my herbavore tyranasaurus rex
God’s kind of funny sometimes.
Yeah, especially when he makes someone’s fleshy bits fall off.