
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to receive the Word of God, as written by your Lord and Savior, Jesus The Christ!
Hey everybody, Jesus here. I’d just like to step in real quick and say that Obama is a mentally unstable poser who’s convinced himself he’s the black version of Me,and quite frankly, I’m sick of it. Just look what he did yesterday:
Army of the Lord? Obama Seeks Health Care Push From Pulpit
Obama has got some balls to try and tell rabbis and preachers what to say to their sheep. Jews and Christians only take orders from Me and My Dad. Well, the Jews don’t care for Me all that much, but that’s ok because I have the Christians wrapped around My Middle Finger.
That stupid, stupid fool Obama told the rabbis that “we are God’s partners in matters of life and death.”
That’s a lie! Humans are never partners with God. They are His property.
That’s why this whole idea of ‘death panels’ is so ridiculous. There is only one death panel, and it’s made up of Me, God, and The Holy Spirit!



Dear Jesus,
May I have Megyn Kelly’s phone number?
Sure thing! It’s 1-201-560-2435. Ask for Megyn.
Dear Jesus,
Does your middle finger smell of poo?
If yes…whose poo?
PS Why are you so jealous of Obama. Is it because he has bigger man parts?
So, Jesus, what’s your take on all this hubbub that Obama is the Antichrist? I’m not going for it. Honestly I think the Antichrist will rise from Singapore, the Lion City island nation. Of course, I could be wrong, but everyone wants to just throw wild theories around so why not?
My money is on the Antichrist being French, from Paris to be precise. After all, that’s where most unpleasant people come from. Maybe God can comment on this? He’s omniscient after all.
Good to see you back G-sus, hope your feet are doing better.
Satan always has many anti-Christs in the world, and of course Obama is one of them.
My middle finger does not smell like poo, at least not right now.
My feet hurt.
It seems Obama’s death panels are already in action:
http://www.livescience.com/health/080422-bad-life-spans.html
Well, Naytheist, one of the reasons people think Obama is the Antichrist is because he fulfills one of the prophecies, particularly the one that says the Antichrist will rise up from an island, a multicultural nation. He was born on Oahu. Well, unless you think he faked his birth certificate and the US government didn’t double check before leting him run for office.
Another one of the reasons people believe Obama is the Antichrist is because people are stupid.
Not all people are stupid Sander.
Only the good Christian people are stupid.
In the Bible (God’s Holy Word) we Christians are told to be fools for Christ.
That is why we believe so much stupid shit.
When we get to Heaven we will get to live for eternity with people as stupid (or even stupider) than we are.
All the intelligent, rational, evil, immoral, sexy people with rhythm will be in Hell. There will be really good parties in the place of damnation.
Sadly I am a forgiven, spirit-filled, born-again Christian, which means I will have to spend eternity in Paradise with all the mindless godbots. Praise the LORD!
(God? Is there a back way out of Heaven so we can party in Hell once or twice during eternity?)
Smoggy, how come sexy people with rhythm have to go to hell?
Also, the idea of having parties in hell is an amusing one. The whips and screams of anguish will be like the beat and backup vocals.
Lots of sexy people with rhythm will be going to alternate heavens. In those heavens, the joke is on God and all his stupid followers, plus all the stupid people who didn’t shop around for better deals on religious coverage.
Dear Christ,
so there are many Anti-Christs? Iit might be possible then that I am one of them? I hear voices in my head telling me so, but how can one be sure? Is there anything like the mark of the Beast (a hornshaped mole near the bellybutton for example)?
I need to know, because if I really am one I need to get a new wardrobe. Also, is there something like a Handbook for Anti-Christs, I’m new at this kind of thing.
Isn’t Britney Spears an Anti-Christ, by the way? She said so herself.
The main anti-Christ is the Pope.
He goes around dressing and acting like a king and claims to be the head of the church, even though we all know it is really Jesus. And that hand jive with two fingers pointing up: a sure sign of a false god.
I don’t think I’d look good in those kind of clothes. A pointy hat, it’s just not my thing. I’ll leave that to the clergy and the KKK. No, I was thinking about going dandy, the Austin Powers kind of look. But eviled up a bit of course. You know, black velvet, and maybe an eyepatch.
The Pope tries to recruit every antisemite in sight, and tells people that you get AIDS from condoms. He’s such a talented Anti-Christ, and Nazi-trained too. He’s setting the bar way to high for us beginners.
antichrists are fags.
said.
If antichrists are fags and Christ is a fag, that means that the universe is mostly comprised of darkmatter fags.
Fags rule, man.
Curtis is a fag. I miss Curtis a lot. It’s a shame he left because people kept calling him a fag.
What, the Pope is a fag?
Hmm, now that I think about it, it’s so obvious. The clothes, the rings, the shoes, the unblinking stare of an obsessed pervert.. he scores 10/10 points on my gaydar.
jesus is gay like obama too