Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
YES! TASTE MY GLORIOUS WRATH!
Yesterday I smote the hell out of the city of Minneapolis with raging thunderstorms and a tornado. I uprooted trees, smashed roofs, and flooded streets with water. I damaged the Minneapolis Convention Center and disrupted downtown metro traffic. Later on I heavily damaged a middle school.
I did not do this for summer fun.*
Nay, I smote the entire city of Minneapolis because the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America was having their national convention there…and they were going to talk about anal sex!
THIS I COULD NOT ALLOW!
For not only were they going to talk about anal, they were going to talk about whether or not they should let the ministers of My Holy Evangelical Lutheran Church of America have anal!
They were actually going to consider letting official servants of Me have penises enter into their assholes!
UNSPEAKABLE BLASPHEMY!
I would rather every man, woman and child in Minneapolis die in a flood than let one of My ministers have church-sanctioned anal sex!
I was also going to smite that atheist PZ Meyers, but he fled to his panic room just when I was about to strike his house with lightning.
*But it was a lot of fun.
Gene on 
ronpaulcandidate on 
jetaDeelp on 
Nun Ur Damned Bizness on 
The Ender on 
Did you also smite Uppity Cracka and Prince while you were in the Minneapolis region, God? I think they both live in the Twin Cities. It’s almost too good an opportunity to pass up.
Oh, and just another observation, Lord. If You don’t want penises to be in assholes, why did You make them fit in the first place? Seems to me the solution to hated anal sex was in Your hands at the moment You created the human race. Hmmm?
Cracka! You okay, dude?
Lilith - No, I did not smite them. Uppity Cracka is a loyal servant, and so is Prince.
As for your penises-fit-into-assholes question, just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.
The anus is a test of faith.
“The Anus is a Test of Faith!!” I think that should be the new slogan of all patriarchal religions and other gaybashers.
God,
Is anal sex evil if it’s not a real penis? I have plenty of dildos and vibrators and sometimes… oops… they end up in my butt.
nun’s ass is the only orifice on (in?) her body that she can still retrieve inserted objects from. so it’s more of a fiduciary consideration on her part to stop losing expensive toys in her wretched vagina than it is for pleasure. THE WOMAN IS A WHORE!!!
God missed my house by precisely 11 blocks…all while my neighbors were in their house with dicks in each other’s butts.
Damn you, Cracka!!
DAMN YOU!!
why don’t You smite the homos next door, Sir? they’re always having gay parties in the back yard with gay friends and their gay dogs (yep) and their gay little buddha statue in their gay little garden…
who wants another flirtini???
ugh…so gay.
it’s gayer than ben’s job at the dick sucking factory.
oh, by the way…shut up, ben.
Why did you smite the Electric Fetus record store, hmmm?
Yes Nun, if anything goes up your butt it is evil.
The only time it isn’t is when it was unintentional. For example, if you fall over your ottoman backwards and a hamster and an action figure become accidentally lodged in your rectum - that’s forgivable, because it wasn’t your fault.
yeah, God, why the fetus? why????
You can recycle those now, Nun:
http://www.sextoyrecycling.com/
Splendid Monkey - Why do you think? The store has a blasphemous name. You can’t have a store and have fetus in the name and get away with it. Not on My fuckin’ watch.
# 9 — Sounds like you’re jealous, Cracka. Jealous and horny for you-know-what (I’m speaking in code so You-Know-Who won’t smite you).
Great smite, Lord!
You sure know how to bend a spire …
http://www.queerty.com/heres-what-god-did-to-the-maybe-gay-hating-or-gay-loving-lutheran-church-yesterday-20090820/
well, thank God im not from america.. shit bro, imagine all those fucking storms, and tornados… best thing god made me brazilian…
God, please tell me, you love brazilian people so much that in brazil we dont have one fucking vulcano, one fucking tornado, no fucking storms, no fucking gays neighbors asking for one more flirtini…
- Num, i have a sex toy that i made from my own dick to give to you, but the shit is so fucking big that i need to recycle, cuz juust from my plastic dick, they will make 2millions plastic cups =)
i always cared about the enviroment.
That’s great, God! Any time something goes up my butt, it’s because I accidentally fell on it.
Dear Tony,
Bless you, child.
In Me you trust,
God
Dear Nun,
I see through such cheap tricks, so don’t try it!
Swear to Him, Herbman cracks me up.
Glad you’re not anal, Cracka.
A bolt of lightning missed me by one block night before last. Took down a whopping big tree. I guess my neighbors were … emmm … ick. Won’t go there.
Dear God,
So if a Republican politician should happen to be doing Your Holy Work, and this leads him to a sleazy hotel, and he accidentally falls backwards over the couch while wearing no pants and freakishly has his anus impaled by two erect penises belonging to a pair of buff Latino rent boys, You would not blame him for this double penetration?
I’m asking on behalf of a friend.
Smoggy
AMEN
PS Are you going to smite paganannie for saying she wants herbman up her crack?
Smoggy, Smoggy. Haven’t you heard what excessive chiba use does to a man?
Ummm….
turns him into a pagan?
What Kind Of Freak Are You God????
I Side With The Nun….
Of Course You Might Be Saying That Because You
Never Get Laid…..
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