Stuff God Hates

#79 Bruno

Jul 10th, 2009 by God

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
I HATE BRUNO!

I saw it and I was not amused. Nothing but a straight man parading around for 2 hours pretending to be a heinous anus lover. Now you insipid humans may find that sort of thing funny, but I most certainly do not!

In My Eyes, pretending to love anal is just as bad as loving anal! You don’t like it? TOUGH! I’m God Almighty and I’m the judge of the quick and the dead AND the slow and the alive! The way I run this universe, if you even think about murdering someone, I say you’re already guilty of murder.

So if you pretend to be gay, as Sasha Baron Cohen has done by running all over the planet as a hyper-mega-homosexual, you are guilty of being gay. Sasha Baron Cohen will die of AIDS and rot in hell.

I also decree that if you think pretending to be gay is funny, you have committed the sin of being a fag.

I HATE PRETENDING! if you pretend to be anything other than yourself, I SWEAR TO ME I’LL CUT OFF YOUR THUMBS!

I also do not find it at all amusing when a flagrantly pretend flamer claims to have adopted a black baby and named it “OJ.” There is nothing humorous about that. I also am quite peeved with the creation of the term “gayby” to describe a gay-owned baby.

I do not understand humans anymore. Their collective idiocy staggers even My Infinite Intellect. So when I see hordes of humans laughing at all these evil gay jokes, I’m confused. Why don’t you people just watch some gay porn? There is plenty of gayness in a gay porn, it would likely provide you all with a full barrel of laughs.

Mortal sins like anal sex should never be the subject of laughter. If you laugh at that kind of thing YOU SHALL BURN IN HELL!

Tags: Bruno, Gayby, God, OJ, Sacha Baron Cohen

Posted in People, Sins

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139 Responses to “#79 Bruno”

on 10 Jul 2009 at 5:19 am1God

I will be gone this next week, taking a well-deserved vacation from it all in Costa Rica.

GO FUCK YOURSELVES!
on 10 Jul 2009 at 6:56 am2TheTravelingFilipina

God, please say hello to soon-to-be-ex-President-or-maybe-he’s-still-President Manuel Zelaya of Honduras when you see him in Costa Rica being hidden amongst bands of howler monkeys.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 11:55 am3Belle

God, I’m so totally with ya on this one…!
on 10 Jul 2009 at 12:34 pm4anne johnson

Thank you, God Alfeisty, for this commentary. Please smite this loathsome actor who thinks he’s funny but isn’t.

What an endorsement for Costa Rica! “It’s where God goes on vacation!”
on 10 Jul 2009 at 1:21 pm5Foppl's Siege Party

Be sure to do Don Lulo’s horseback trip. They’re located about 10 minutes east of Dominical. It’s really fun.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 3:22 pm6Lilith

God, I think you’re a shill on Sacha Baron Cohen’s publicity payroll, helping to whip up attendance for his new movie. Outrage is what fills theatres, after all. Is this how you’re paying for your Costa Rica holiday?
on 10 Jul 2009 at 3:47 pm7Lilith

Man, this topic is tailor-made for Uppity Cracka, and where is he? WHERE IS HE?? Damn you, I.T. people!!
on 10 Jul 2009 at 3:52 pm8anne johnson

Cracka’s IT person must never get anal. Talk about a perfect asshole.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 3:56 pm9Bei Shen

The preview did NOTHING for me. Too bad because I kinda like Borat.

I too will be in Cancun all week next week. I plan to be drunk most of the time. Can you guys suggest some popular, but manly, drinks? I’m a straight Cognac/beer guy so I don’t know a lot about popular drinks.

Thanks.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 3:57 pm10Bei Shen

I neglected to say I’ll be thinking of Nun and Anne whenever I see nekkit people there.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 3:59 pm11Jim

Out here in rattlesnake country we don’t have a theater. It will be easy for me to follow this new commandment, God.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 4:33 pm12Benjamin

Bei - You’ll be thinking of wrinkly old whores when you’re in Cancun? You’re sick.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 5:03 pm13anne johnson

Real men drink beer or whiskey straight up. FUCK! Another topic where we could depend upon Cracka for up-to-date instructions!
on 10 Jul 2009 at 5:05 pm14anne johnson

God’s going to Costa Rica. Bei’s going to Cancun. Ben’s planning to leave the basement for an evening at the corner bar. If he can find enough change under the sofa cushions.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 6:32 pm15Thomas

God,

By referring to a Gaby as a “gay owned human,” are you endorsing the idea of people as property?

I need to know because I’m not sure what to do with the half dozen Laotian immigrants currently chained up in my basement.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 6:48 pm16Nun Ur Damned Bizness

From what I’ve heard, the film sucks and a lot of mortals don’t even like it and not just because it’s about a flaming homo but because it’s really bad.

I’m full of mortal jealousy for God going to Costa Rica and Bei going to Cancun. I would take a holiday and never come back if my bank account remembered what money looked like.

Speaking of Costa Rica, that’s where Der Dude wants to have his commune. Are You hooking up with Der Dude in Costa Rica, God?
on 10 Jul 2009 at 7:04 pm17Jim

Happy birthday to John Calvin. I hope it’s really hot where he went…
on 10 Jul 2009 at 7:53 pm18Benjamin

What is your beef with Calvin?
on 10 Jul 2009 at 8:02 pm19Jim

Maybe not so much with Calvin himself, but what the Reformationists are making of Calvinism now.

I wish someone would re-open the WittenburgDoor.com …
on 10 Jul 2009 at 8:13 pm20Benjamin

Whose philosophy has been raped more, Calvin or Hobbes?
on 10 Jul 2009 at 8:23 pm21Yo² Ma²

I thought Calvin raped Hobbes…wait! Are we talking about a cartoon kid with a make-believe friend, or the Reform theologian and the English philosopher?

In any case, no difference.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 8:25 pm22Lilith

Both Calvin and Hobbes did Kierkegaard, but it wasn’t rape.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 8:27 pm23Yo² Ma²

It’s only rape if they say no.

BTW, ‘Yes!’ is not a good choice for a safeword.

Neither is ‘No!’.

I’m just saying.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 8:32 pm24Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Yo Yo knows about safewords. I would use the eyebrow emoticon here if it existed. God with all His Divine Power should make one. Or have Jesus do it since I’m not sure God’s Divine Power extends to computers.

And Calvin and Hobbes are sweet and full of joy and never think about anal! Damn you, perverts! DAMN YOU!!
on 10 Jul 2009 at 8:33 pm25Lilith

You sound like a man who speaks from experience, Yo.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 8:37 pm26Yo² Ma²

Lilith, it’s what the PaperClip Wizard told me.
on 10 Jul 2009 at 9:19 pm27Josh

this is for cracka ass cracka

http://forum.nin.com/bb/read.php?30,767183,page=1
on 11 Jul 2009 at 7:19 pm28Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I wonder what else Bush stole from Americans while he was distracting them with fear of the brown man.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090711/ap_on_go_co/us_domestic_surveillance

Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld should be tried for war crimes.
on 11 Jul 2009 at 9:26 pm29uppity cracka

shut up, ben.
on 12 Jul 2009 at 6:38 am30uppity cracka

this one’s for nun, so totally for nun it’s ridiculous…you’ll understand:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F7Q7BkAbCk&feature=related
on 12 Jul 2009 at 6:38 am31uppity cracka

BWAHAHAHAAHAAAAAHAAHAAAA!!!!!!!
on 12 Jul 2009 at 6:42 am32uppity cracka

SO FUCK OFF, YOU FUCKING SCATMUNCHERS!!!!!!!!
on 12 Jul 2009 at 6:46 am33uppity cracka

“unfurls like a ball-less scrotum”

do you ever hear something brilliant and drop what you’re holding and momentarily lose control of your faculties and then regain them enough to slap yourself in the forehead and think, “why..the fuck…didn’t i…think of THAT!”???
on 12 Jul 2009 at 4:21 pm34Jim

Fuck, I’ll be having Barbara Bush nightmares now. Even more than before.
on 12 Jul 2009 at 6:36 pm35Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Bill Hicks… gone too soon. I can’t believe it’s been 15 years.
on 13 Jul 2009 at 2:16 am36Josh

I actually think that is one of Hick’s worst bits. No where near as smart as his other stuff.
on 13 Jul 2009 at 12:12 pm37anne johnson

Billy Mays … gone too soon. Who knows what useless gadget I’d have bought, encouraged by his enthusiasm? Genius, I tell ya, genius.
on 13 Jul 2009 at 3:47 pm38Nun Ur Damned Bizness

HA! Take that you pansy ass fuckheads who get your panties in a bunch whenever you hear a curse word. Fucky-Fuck Von Fucks.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090712/sc_livescience/swearingmakespainmoretolerable

I fucking LOVE her hair!
http://www.fanpop.com/spots/gillian-anderson/images/6836765
on 13 Jul 2009 at 6:47 pm39anne johnson

Swearing is quite an effective pain reliever. It’s also wonderful for intimidating cheeky punks. Some little shit of a college student dared to call me a skank because I was closely observing his pissy white boy behavior. It was personally gratifying to confront him with my full arsenal of expletives as I advanced on him in a menacing manner. He backed down like a craven dog.
on 13 Jul 2009 at 9:09 pm40Nun Ur Damned Bizness

You go with your big, bad feminine self, Anne.

I sure do miss Zeus.
on 13 Jul 2009 at 9:54 pm41Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I found ben!! Coincidentally enough, it seems like ben is an x-file worthy of an investigation by Mulder and Scully.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/hideous_man_beast_washes_up_on
on 13 Jul 2009 at 10:00 pm42anne johnson

That certainly isn’t Bloodvork.
on 13 Jul 2009 at 10:02 pm43anne johnson

Nun! Looks like it’s just you and me today! Time to continue our list of men we would love to fuck.

1. David Beckham
2. David Beckham
on 13 Jul 2009 at 10:17 pm44Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Johnny Depp
Mos Def
Colin Farrell
Matthew McConaughey
Miles Montgomery
on 13 Jul 2009 at 10:30 pm45anne johnson

Clint Eastwood
The gorgeous studly guy who drives the ice cream truck through our neighborhood
Sam Bush (Jim will have heard of him)
Tony Romo. On game day vs. Eagles. He just split with Jessica.
on 13 Jul 2009 at 10:34 pm46Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I can never remember the names of all the guys I want to fuck. I know there’s a lot more than who I’ve listed. I would probably fuck Bill Murray even though he’s super old now. And Ghostbusters III better not suck!
on 13 Jul 2009 at 10:35 pm47Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Has anybody here seen a movie called “Hounddog” with Dakota Fanning?
on 13 Jul 2009 at 11:30 pm48Jim

I used to drive a Dodge Dakota, izzat close?
on 14 Jul 2009 at 1:17 am49Jim

Is this a friend of yours, God?
http://www.poligazette.com/2009/06/10/wiley-drake-embarrasses-christians-again/
He seems to throw the smite word around an awful lot for a mere mortal.
on 14 Jul 2009 at 3:11 pm50Benjamin

that guy looks like a turd in stupid clothing.

nun, you fucking whore. thats you in that picture.
on 14 Jul 2009 at 3:28 pm51Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Poor ben never looks in the mirror and can’t recognize his own heinousness. I think it’s pretty obvious that chubbasaurus monster is male, ben. You should be happy that I realize you are a boy, even though you sport a vagina.
on 14 Jul 2009 at 3:29 pm52Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I hope God creates a cartoon to show us His Divine Adventures in Costa Rica.
on 14 Jul 2009 at 4:44 pm53Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Wow. Chris Martin is one of the guys that I would so totally fuck and I think it’s cool they paid homage but I don’t particularly care for their cover.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osgMMRncAZE
on 14 Jul 2009 at 7:25 pm54Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Maybe it’s hard to be charitable right now with the current economy but no matter how tough one has it, there’s always somebody that has it worse… mostly black people.

This is a good and noble charity for a good cause. Give them money or feel my vengeful mortal wrath!!

http://www.offthestreetkids.org/

Just don’t tell God because it’s for Africans and God hates them.
on 14 Jul 2009 at 7:49 pm55Foppl's Siege Party

I cannot believe what I just witnessed. A co-worker reading a “news” story on the fox news website. The kicker is his lips were moving as he read.

Funny and nauseating!
on 15 Jul 2009 at 12:42 am56Josh

question for cracka (I think he mentioned it here b4)

what’s the name of the phenomenon where if you’re mocking an idea of type of person (such as Colbert does) if you’re not in some fashion winking at the audience, people will take it as true?
on 15 Jul 2009 at 1:48 am57Lilith

Idiocy?
on 15 Jul 2009 at 2:59 am58Hume Cronyn

huh
on 15 Jul 2009 at 2:46 pm59anne johnson

#56: I’m pretty good with words, but I can’t think of a term for this, even though I’ve seen it happen.
on 15 Jul 2009 at 5:10 pm60Josh

cracka posted the term for it. but I forgot it and the search on this blog sucks holy balls.
on 15 Jul 2009 at 5:29 pm61Jim

Fuck it, just make something up. Nobody will know anyway!
on 15 Jul 2009 at 6:01 pm62Nun Ur Damned Bizness

#56 - That’s a lack of a sense of humor, Josh. Usually it’s whiteys that have that particular affliction but occasionally you will see it spread into the other people colors… Al Sharpton is a good example.
on 15 Jul 2009 at 6:50 pm63anne johnson

cracka posted a term for a kind of noise that’s supposed to be avant-garde music, and I can’t remember that either. Thanks, cracka, for posting 4,000 comments about Nun’s snatch, and somewhere in there doling out a tidbit of information we might need later. You’re the fuckin Congressional Quarterly of Snatch Comments.
on 15 Jul 2009 at 9:30 pm64Josh

this blog is dying a slow death. where the eff is everyone?
on 15 Jul 2009 at 9:38 pm65Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Cracka got in trouble. Anne’s galavanting around with unicorns and faeries. Yo Yo’s sad. ben is throwing a vagina fit because his crush, Cracka, is gone. Jim is hitting on chicks with cancerous titties. Curtis abandoned us and God is on a Divine Holiday.

In addition to all that, I feel dirty and like I violated the privacy of a dead man. I watched the video that shows Michael Jackson’s hair catching on fire for that Pepsi commerical. I was sickened. That was much, much worse than was ever implied and I find it very, very unlikely that he was ever able to grow hair on the top of his head again.
on 15 Jul 2009 at 10:38 pm66Josh

cracka got in trouble? please expound
on 15 Jul 2009 at 10:52 pm67Benjamin

God´s blog got banned at cracka´s hospital. so he can no longer post his here anymore when he should be helping old people shit.

the term you are thinking of Josh is called ¨Poe´s Law.¨ Wikipedia has a nice explanation of the history of the term.
on 15 Jul 2009 at 10:54 pm68Nun Ur Damned Bizness

If there were an emoticon that depicted one shaking their head in exasperation, I would use it now.

Poor, black Josh. Cracka was blocked by his IT department. Maybe he didn’t get a verbal lashing but I’d say that’s ‘trouble’ on some sort of level.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 12:03 am69Hume Cronyn

I like this beer.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 12:04 am70Hume Cronyn

But it’s not helping this TV show.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 12:04 am71Hume Cronyn

Hows about: “So you think you can fuck?”
on 16 Jul 2009 at 12:05 am72Hume Cronyn

would be better than these idiots
on 16 Jul 2009 at 2:25 am73uppity cracka

http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Poe’s_Law

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noisecore

nun’s vagina drags it’s fupa along behind it when it scurries, nay slithers, back to its burrow to settle in for the night snuggled up in its nest of half digested squirrel tails and unopened condoms.

josh-36————classic josh.

operatic singing voice…let’s make it baritone:

SHUUUUUT UUUUUUUUP, BE-EEE-EEEEEEEEEN.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 3:41 am74Jim

Those new commercials with a woman’s voice pimping OxyClean just suck. Maybe Anne is right.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 8:09 am75Smoggy Batzrubble

It would be funny to stick Ben up Bruno’s ass, and then watch him try and shit.

Just though I’d say that to raise the tone of this conversation.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 12:56 pm76anne johnson

It would be funny if a sheep put it to Smoggy, instead of vice versa.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 6:32 pm77Hume Cronyn

It would be funnier if smoggy sheared
anne’s bush
like one of his sheep
but he might fear
what lurks underneath
on 16 Jul 2009 at 8:06 pm78anne johnson

He might fear what lurks underneath because he wouldn’t know what to do with it. Just like Hume.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 8:45 pm79Smoggy Batzrubble

I know what do do with it Annie. I’ve had hazmat training.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 8:47 pm80Smoggy Batzrubble

Have you ever been raped by a sheep?
It’s quick and it’s hard and its deep.
And it smells like wet socks,
Or Anne with the pox,
And her sores have all started to weep.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 10:17 pm81anne johnson

Have you ever been raped by a sheep?
Smoggy has, he’s a perverted creep.
He went looking for trouble
And bent over double…
And got homo action so cheap.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 10:18 pm82anne johnson

The limericks usually are reserved for long Saturday afternoons.
on 16 Jul 2009 at 11:39 pm83Hume Cronyn

anne’s bush it did swallow
though it did lay fallow;
by smirch it did sing
with a glorious ring
when a boner was sucked of its marrow
on 17 Jul 2009 at 3:28 am84Lilith

Anne’s poem is best!
on 17 Jul 2009 at 7:50 am85Smoggy Batzrubble

That’s very predictable Lilith,

If a turd had a clitoris you’d pick that over a bunch of roses.

Hey! That was quite coarse, wasn’t it?
on 17 Jul 2009 at 12:43 pm86Lilith

Hey, literary merit is literary merit and your poems have none. Stick to sheep.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 1:32 pm87uppity cracka

what a bunch of fags.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 1:33 pm88uppity cracka

smoggy,

your conversation-with-jesus comment on pharyngula was quite entertaining.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 2:31 pm89Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I gotta agree with Cracka on this one… you’re all a bunch of faggy little fagalas.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 2:46 pm90anne johnson

I always feel so dirty after writing a limerick.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 4:53 pm91Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Karma for Passion of the Christ? Perhaps.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090717/ap_on_en_mo/us_people_caviezel_3

What the fuck does it matter why he was here though? He used to live here.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 4:53 pm92Benjamin

cracka! you’re gone but not forgotten buddy!
on 17 Jul 2009 at 5:13 pm93Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Yeah, it actually would have been better if ben had gotten IT blocked rather than Cracka.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 6:08 pm94anne johnson

#91: I never saw Passion of the Christ, but the picture with that article made me have feelings that are not Biblical.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 6:09 pm95anne johnson

#93: Who’s gonna IT block ben? The local librarian? His factory isn’t online.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 6:19 pm96anne johnson

Yo Yo, I hope you’re okay.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 6:22 pm97uppity cracka

apparently the building’s wifi doesn’t block this site, only the stupid company computers do that. as long as i bring one of them interwebbing devices to work i’m free to say all the stupid shit i want. hard to remember to bring my laptop though.

hey, ben…shut up, fag!!!!
on 17 Jul 2009 at 6:22 pm98uppity cracka

nun’s a whore.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 6:23 pm99uppity cracka

treefucker! why don’t you go fuck a tree?!
on 17 Jul 2009 at 6:23 pm100uppity cracka

there can be only ONE!
on 17 Jul 2009 at 6:58 pm101Nun Ur Damned Bizness

GOD DAMN IT! I. AM. NOT. A WHORE!!
on 17 Jul 2009 at 7:14 pm102Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I miss God.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 7:15 pm103uppity cracka

if you’re not a whore, then how do you explain this:

http://knol.google.com/k/-/-/RFLyPUlg/bBCr6w/vaginal%20herpes.jpg
on 17 Jul 2009 at 7:19 pm104Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Poor Cracka. Too stupid and ignorant to be able to tell the difference between white pussy and black pussy. You ever been with a real woman, Cracka?
on 17 Jul 2009 at 7:23 pm105uppity cracka

your vagina has “opposite of michael jackson disease” it’s a not so rare condition that occurs when a white whore fucks a LOT of black dudes. hopefully you’ll get your groove back someday like that stella lady.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 7:32 pm106Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Wow. The color black is not like spray paint or ink and rub off on all that it touches. Fucking moron.

Your insults would be a lot better if they actually made any kind of sense and didn’t illustrate your ignorance about all things vajayjay.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 7:36 pm107uppity cracka

silly nun,
of course the negroness is communicable. part of the disease you have is that you see past the color of someone’s skin…that includes the skin of your precious…whatever it is. you see, the pure-sighted among us, i.e. “crackers”, can see the tarnished streaks of pigment all over your disgusting tolerant bodies as you go philandering with all sorts of ethnic rubbish. just because you can’t see your own niggerism doesn’t mean it isn’t there. HA! IT IS YOU WHO MAKE NO SENSE!!!
on 17 Jul 2009 at 7:40 pm108Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Poor stupid white boy. You’re just jealous because you have no penis and black boys have giganto afro penises.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 7:47 pm109uppity cracka

i’m in the straight white american male club. at our meetings we discuss things like what to do with the world, how to keep non-SWAMs from figuring out our master plan…which isn’t hard considering that you’re all black or mexican or women, and what to do with this excess of stolen afro penises. we have a surplus, more than we can use. check mate, nun!!!
on 17 Jul 2009 at 8:00 pm110Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Steal all the afro penises you want. You’re white and therefore, incompetent at stealing. Rest assured that the darkies will come steal their afro penises back and pop a cap in yo ass for being a dickless honky.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 8:01 pm111uppity cracka

yoyo knows what i’m talking about. ben used to until he started working at the dick sucking factory. ben—–what an idiot.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 8:05 pm112uppity cracka

white people are incompetent at stealing?!!!! that’s the most ignorant thing i’ve ever heard out of your black ass, nun!!! fuck, we INVENTED stealing. we stole this country and built the laws around our more effective macrothieving techniques. foolish woman.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 8:08 pm113Nun Ur Damned Bizness

And black people perfected your methods of thievery. Darkies do everything better than whiteys, ignorant white man.

And ben don’t know nothin’ bout bein’ no man.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 8:14 pm114uppity cracka

silly nun,
ghetto thievin’ and looting a kmart are not the same as toppling regimes and setting up puppet governments to fleece a people of their most valuable natural resources while tricking them into voting against their own self interest. if you think rolling stupid wannabe crack dealers at bus stops and stealing food stamps out of your mom’s purse equal that, then i’m afraid the “opposite of michael jackson” disease has reached an acute stage. you don’t have long. maybe you can use your plight to piteously beg for some bob ross dvds…
on 17 Jul 2009 at 8:19 pm115Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Bob Ross DVDs?? Where?
on 17 Jul 2009 at 8:20 pm116uppity cracka

check mate again, whore!

shut up, ben.

the rest of you may fuck off.

i am going to play some god awful rock music at some god awful rock club and the beer better be free!
on 17 Jul 2009 at 8:23 pm117Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Yes, it’d better be free or else nobody will stay to watch you.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 8:48 pm118Hume Cronyn

fags
on 17 Jul 2009 at 10:35 pm119Josh

Nun,
sorry to say Cracka is right; white people perfected stealing. Enron, Madoff, Chris Columbus, Bill Gates….. the list of white thieving billionaires is very long. The black list is very very short.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 10:51 pm120Jim

What the fuck–we even used to steal black people! Easiest way to get cheap labor is to own it, I always say.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 10:57 pm121Nun Ur Damned Bizness

How can the white man steal that which already belonged to him anyway? The only examples given are white men taking back their own from the minorities who stole it from them. The white man owns the world. Jeez you guys are dumb.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 11:06 pm122Jim

I’m not advocating hitting the streets and re-taking my damned iPod, Nun–I’m advocating stealing the motherfucker who stole it!
on 17 Jul 2009 at 11:29 pm123uppity cracka

shit-it’s not free. there’s a $5 cover. it’s amazing the kind of crap drunk people will pay to put up with.
on 17 Jul 2009 at 11:38 pm124Nun Ur Damned Bizness

The white man owns the world, Jim. And all the different colored people in it. And the white women too. You, as a white man, have every right to go up to that poor misguided black boy who stole your iPod, put him in chains and take him home. I do that kind of shit all the time.
on 18 Jul 2009 at 12:27 am125Jim

RIP, Walter Cronkite.
http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/17/walter-cronkite-iconic-anchorman-dies/
on 18 Jul 2009 at 11:39 am126Smoggy Batzrubble

We don’t mind you putting guys in chains and taking them home, Nun.

It’s the digging up their coffins in the middle of the night and making off with their decomposing corpses that we find a little bit iffy.
on 18 Jul 2009 at 12:29 pm127anne johnson

Let’s narrow this down a little bit. It’s not the white man who owns the world, it’s the white Christian man. Cuz he’s got Jesus at his back. He celebrates by fucking pretty girls on the taxpayer’s dime.

You can’t look at Appalachia or New Zealand and say white men own the world. Some white men are lucky to own a few sheep and a cousin or two for whoopie.
on 18 Jul 2009 at 2:17 pm128Jim

Todd Snider knows what you’re talking about, Anne:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVkPKIo2Kew
on 18 Jul 2009 at 5:57 pm129Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Smoggy,

I was simply looking for Hume, Hume intrigues me. I returned all corpses to their proper resting places with a minimum of damage that they didn’t seem to mind anyway.
on 18 Jul 2009 at 6:48 pm130Nun Ur Damned Bizness

No worries now but just wait until it starts absorbing sea creatures and getting bigger and bigger and then comes ashore to wreak havoc on mankind. I have seen the future and it’s a big fucking blob. Thanks a lot, God.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20090718/us_time/08599191151700
on 18 Jul 2009 at 9:31 pm131Jim

Send me that blob, Nun. It’s 115 freaking degrees here–I’ll make that blob my bitch!
on 19 Jul 2009 at 2:54 pm132Jim

Has God forsaken us? His “week” has now stretched to 9 days. He’s either having too much fun boinking those fine-assed wise Latina ladies, or maybe they quarantined His plane for swine flu.
on 19 Jul 2009 at 4:49 pm133Nun Ur Damned Bizness

God said He would be gone “this next week” last Friday which indicates He would be gone all this week on His Divine Holiday to mortal Costa Rica to see Jurassic Park. God is incredibly busy and probably exhausted from all the killing He’s been doing. He’ll be back when He’s ready.

I miss Him though. I miss Him yelling at us.
on 19 Jul 2009 at 7:20 pm134Jim

At least He told us to go fuck ourselves in His absence–he always has a plan!
on 20 Jul 2009 at 3:32 am135Smoggy Batzrubble

Thanks for commenting on my Jesus post, Cracka. You’re right though, no one chats much on Pharyngula.

If you liked that, check out my post about discovering an image of the blessed virgin:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/07/best_virgin_mary_sighting_yet.php#comment-1785708

And this one to some arsehole who believes Obama’s birth details are faked:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/07/best_virgin_mary_sighting_yet.php#comment-1785708
on 20 Jul 2009 at 3:33 am136Smoggy Batzrubble

Oops, second link:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/07/just_because_it_will_annoy_som.php#comment-1785650
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on 25 Jul 2009 at 3:19 pm138Narconon Arrowhead

Bruno probably does need an intervention
, probably for drugs and gayness.
on 17 Jan 2010 at 1:12 pm139jason

this is the most absurd thing I have ever read.. I like how people can poke fun of christianity. This is completely wrong, and bias. then again its only a blog which would consist of homophobic responses and a general hate to religion.