
Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
I AM THE EVERLASTING LORD AND ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE THE MIGHTY WORD OF ME! I am the Ruler of the Universe! All who anger Me shall be punished! SEVERELY!
This week I hate Mexicans! They are stupid, poor, slovenly drunkards. They refuse to learn English and they steal everything from welfare to jobs. Their feet and breath both inexplicably smell like sour cream, and they lack manners. MEXICAN SWINE!
They’re short and have crooked teeth and black souls. MEXICAN SWINE!
They’re lazy, yet they work too hard. They’re brown, yet they suck at soccer. They’re the shame of the Latin world. MEXICAN SWINE!
They come packed by the hundreds into one little van and get into Heaven illegally. And they revere and worship the most infamous slut in history, ‘The Virgin’ Mary. MEXICAN SWINE!
And then last week, one of My ten Mexican maids refused to fellate Me! IN MY PALACE! IN HEAVEN! MEXICAN SWINE!
And so I, The Alpha and the Omega who once successfully drowned every human in the world on a whim, will now kill off the Mexican race by giving them the flu. MEXICAN SWINE!
I created a virus that came from their pigs so everyone would call it ‘Mexican Swine Flu.’ I did this so people would have no choice but to say ‘Mexican Swine’ a lot, because that’s what they are: MEXICAN SWINE!
The glory of Mexican Swine Flu is that it only kills Mexicans, because they’re the only ones dumb enough to die from it. MEXICAN SWINE!
It’s not a strong virus. Every other race of people is smart enough to get lots of sleep and eat chicken soup till they get better.
But not Mexicans! Nope. No matter how sick they get, they just keep eating tacos y burritos and drinking tequilla till they fall down dead in a pool of their own vomit and salsa. It’s so much fun to watch! Mexican. Swine.
Soon enough the Mexicans will be completely wiped out. Do your part by hitting a bunch of them with your SUV.
I, The Almighty Lord, have spoken.








Will it get the illegal immigrants, God? Then it could solve another one of our problems.
OF COURSE!
A Mexican is dumb no matter where they roam.
God, you vile racist psycho, I think you underestimate the power of the Virgin of Guadalupe. She will save her people and kick your ass for trying to smite them. She is Goddess — hear her roar!
And the Taco Bell chihuahua will bite your ankles.
HAHA!! God makes me laugh and I can’t wait till my burro reads this and realizes how utterly fucked he is.
Dear God,
I am admittedly a serial lurker. I have been reading your blog for months without gracing it with my commentary. However I will now post because You have restored my faith in your Divine Holiness by posting your hatred for Mexicans. I had figured they would destroy themselves as a race with their drug wars and tequila and blatant disregard for the English language, but they seem to be indestructable and reproduce as fast as los cucarachas. Now I can rest assured knowing you will smite them as you attempted to smite me by sending that surprise thunderstorm while I was in the shower the other day. Nice try! Hopefully your destruction of their race will free up millions of landscaping jobs and rebuild the great US nations economy. Please speed up this Mexican Swine Flu to wipe out this Centro Americano epidemic as fast as possible, regardless of the fact that I hear less border jumpers are making the leap due to the economy slump here in the glorious contiguous United States.
There’s still hope in this world, the Mexicans are all gonna die!
Oh god this is so cool.
Once again you prove what race of people we can do without.
How about Brazilians???
How about Brazil?
Mexico… haha, I like mexico, but I hate mexicans, they’re all fucking ugly and disgusting. Why did you spend your time creating them?
Thanks Lord, I love you, please, save me from my anger problems. Tks!
xoxo.
Wow, Wazup, your grammar and spelling have tremendously improved since yesterday! It’s like a . . . a . . . miracle!
God,
If You destroy all the Mexicans, how will lazy hipster white people get food delivered to them, or their homes cleaned, or their adopted in vogue African babies watched? Personally I like it when a little mexican gets on his bike and rides it the opposite way of traffic on a busy highway to deliver me a panini for lunch, then I don’t tip him and inform him he forgot my soda and needs to bring me one and some extra napkins.
God hates foreigners who doesn’t try to write and speak properly.
I don’t want to be smited, so…
* smitten - sorry.
Carrie Fisher is in town!! A local radio station dissed her.
I love me some Carrie Fisher.
Isn’t she half Mexican?
I don’t believe so. Reynolds doesn’t sound very Mexican and her father is Jewish.
She wants to meet spiritual people. She’s just sitting in her hotel suite. I would kill people to meet her.
Do you qualify as a spiritual person, Nun?
It depends on what she means by “spiritual” Lilith. Most people are recommending televangelists and local preachers of those big box churches but I don’t think that’s what she considers “spiritual”. I don’t know if I’d qualify as what she’d consider “spiritual” or not but I’d like to think I would.
Fisher has a wicked sense of humor. I don’t know who I like more… Carrie Fisher or Gillian Anderson.
I like the younger one better. I mean Carrie Fisher had her day, but that day was in 1974
And I don’t look at Carrie Fisher and think “man, I want to hit that”.
Nun,
I just picked a date I thought Star Wars was out. Sorry I was not around to catch it in theaters.
And although I’m a retarded ching chong, when I look at women stars I always thing “Would I hit that?”
You’ll find that I’m as much of a Star Wars geek as I am an X-Files geek. I saw Star Wars when it was released in theaters in 1976. I was 8 and I loved it. I just didn’t care for Princess Leia’s hair.
And damn you, retard.
You should play that My Hero Ability so you can send me energy boosts. A fucking FBI Agent just took me out again. 
Sorry!! Star Wars was released in 77. I was still 8 though.
“The glory of Mexican Swine Flu is that it only kills Mexicans, because they’re the only ones dumb enough to die from it.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
what did you think of the Heroes season finally? It seemed hurried to me.
does this make nun a cougar? where is that line?
Josh,
Is that to me or Cracka? I don’t watch TV so I don’t watch Heroes.
Cracka,
I probably would qualify as a cougar.
is your burro a cou-gay?
i don’t watch heroes either. so why don’t you just kill yourself, josh?!!
ben, how are we supposed to know if you’re shutting up when you don’t post?
A “cou-gay”? What the fuck is that even supposed to mean, Cracka? Are you asking about his age?
last time alec baldwin was on SNL he played a cou-gay. it was the only funny part of that episode. i just wanted to use the term cou-gay. don’t really care how old he is.
Heroes sucks.
House rules!
lovesit!
You’re also dumb, Wazup so that explains a lot.
Was this a recent ep, Cracka? I haven’t seen SNL for so long. The last time I saw it with Alec Baldwin, he was talking about his sweaty balls.
yes wazup, house rules. a show that every week someone has a rare aliment and every doctor on staff is a bumbling idiot and can not help except the smart as cripple doctor who figures it all out in the final 10 minutes.
Nun,
i was asking you if you liked heroes since you keep going on and on about the facebook ap. and you do watch TV, ever heard of a show called X Files?
The X-Files went off the air in 2002, retard. What does that tell you? It tells you that with the exception of those bastards at SciFi playing it in the middle of the night, I watch very little television and major network viewing is non-existent. My Hero Ability is a Facebook app and NOT a television show about retards. Jeez you’re stupid.
so now you go from watching no tv to watching very little. that’s my point.
What I meant was I don’t watch network programming which is what Heroes is. Mr. Anal.
I wonder if Yo Yo is a spic and that’s why he hasn’t shown up.
gay down, gay down!!!
http://www.holymoly.com/page/NewsDetail/0,,12643%7E1641496,00.html
The only good thing about Mexicans is their burritos and quesadillas.
oh, shit.
this was an ‘08 ep, i think, nun.
now, to give all the glory to God. hilarious post. i laughed multiply. i laughed at the pic before i even started reading. ben’s mom hasn’t come home to read it for him yet, so he’s just counting mexicans in the pic.
there he is!!!
shut up, ben.
God is glorious and God is great. I can’t wait till all the Mexicans are gone, gone, gone but I’m also thankful that Chris Carter, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are not Mexicans because I would be really sad if X-Files 3 never happened because they all died for being stupid Mexicans with their Mexican Swine Flu.
here is the sketch Cracka was talking about, it’s under the cougar den:
http://www.towleroad.com/2009/02/alec-baldwin-pl.html
I just canceled my trip to Cancun. Swine fuckers. Why wouldn’t this kind of pandemic happen in China or something?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
how old are u Nun?
Why are you so unhappy?
*Josh, If House can solve everything without making a mistake, does that makes him a God’s representative on earth or something???
just wondering…
Wazup, why are you sto stupid?
Mother fucker!!
I pulled a Josh.
no, wazup, it makes him a fictional character.
Cuz it makes me happy and I love to botter you with my stupidity!
Nun, do you have some frustrations? Would you like to talk about it? Open up for us, it is going to makes you feel better.
oh, REALLY cracka??? I was almost believing that he was actually real and the sitcom was a kind of an alive tv-show!
how smart and articulated you are!
thumbs up!
Why don’t you obsess over somebody else, Wazup.
because I love you and you’re going to be my BFF someday.. just like Paris and Nicole!
Better yet, you could just go away. You’re not amusing or entertaining. You’re just annoying like one of those little gnat-like bugs.
ow, that hurts…
.
But no, I ain’t gonna leave the boat yet. GET USED!
ha ha! “Get used”!!!!
It doesn’t hurt as much as when you try to use the cottage cheese you’ve got rolling around in your head trying to fuction as a brain.
Question:
Which famous person should be dead in your opinion and why?
God, you could take some notes of it!
If you’re asking God then you should capitalize before He smites you. Which I believe He should do anyway as you’re sullying His Holy Blog.
oh, I was asking to you all.
Almighty, beloved, amazing, awesome, handsome, coolest image of the world, I’m so sorry for my insolent comment, forgive me and don’t smite me, please! I humblingly thought I was having a good idea asking that, and worse, giving that suggestion, I’m sorry, please, I’m nothing, don’t kill me ok? I hate my life but I want to still be living in order to botter Nun even more!
lOVE YOU LORD, I’M SORRY FOR MAY EXISTENCE!
my*
GET USED, NUN!
wazup, does it ‘botter’ you that i’m ‘articulated’ enough to know that house is not a sit-com?
#57-
wazup’s not leaving the boat yet because it is still crossing the caribbean. hold on, little buddy. they love newbies in florida! you’ll fit right in.
#64 - StupidityFACE!
It doesn’t bother me at all Cracka.
not at all, really.
just saying… I like people endowed with the power of speech. It is beautiful.. I’m not, as you might see…
whatever.. I’m boring today.. no pills.
Wazup is not charming and endearing like the rest of the monkey fucking Brazilians we’ve had here. I’m sorry for her existence too and I wonder if God feels the same.
Dear Lord
This person Wazup is annoying and is in need of “a small infestation” of weevils or frogs or something. Unless you feel it should be something more “permanent”. We trust your judgement on this.
I don’t like florida that much, it doesn’t seems to be a very cultural place.. it must be more like fatty and rich-prople point. Not interest.
Where else can you advice me?
Fuck you Kraig, who the hell are you?
haha! you guys are crazy. I’m willing to put up with whaterver wazup says so long as she keeps dropping hits like:
“get used”
you rock wazup! you got a friend and an ally with ben.
Wazshutup
You are incredibly illiterate and I’m guessing some form of
sub-species of “douche-ignorent”.
Oh…and Fuck you right in the mouth.
thank you Ben, I was feeling very lonely here… that hurts you know…
Nun, Will you accept me someday? I’m highly awaiting for your song, dear.
UAU KRAIG, VOCÊ É INCRÍVEL, AMEI SER CHAMADA DE DOUCHE-IGNORANT, É TÃO CONVIDATIVO E RESPEITOSO DA SUA PARTE! DEUS AMADO, TODO-PODEROSO VAI ACHAR ISSO LINDO VIU AMORE?
CONTINUE ASSIM!
ah, e vai se foder deasde já!
translate it Kraig!
how much is “incredibly illiterate” Kraig? It doesn’t seems that much cuz you still can get my point!
haha, sucker!
FACE!
Wazup…..HIGH FIVE!
SLAP!
Of course ben would like Wazup. It’s somebody more pathetic than himself and we already know that ben has no idea what real comedy is.
the retard army grows, one idiot at a time.
Come on NUUUUUUUUN, I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU WHAT REAL COMEDY IS ABOUT!
You know, I’m very enthusiastic of Woody Allen’s kind of comedy. So what is fun for you??
.
Ben, we rock dude!
Josh, you’re always welcome to the retards group, we really understand you cuz we’re pretty like the same!
Indeed, retarded-Josh-san, indeed.
God has spent so much of His Divine Effort trying to get new followers and look what He ended up with. I feel bad for God sometimes.
He should smite ben for even liking Wazup. If I were God, I’d ban both of them for being alive but that’s just me and I’m just a bitter mortal. I’m also a woman.
Wazup, don’t you dare compare Josh to you and ben!!
You and ben are indeed the same kind of fucked up retard with no personality to speak of but Josh is nothing like either of you. He’s my special retard with the afro-penis.
HUAHUHUSHUSHUS
Josh, you’re fucked dude! She owns your penis for good!
No respect for man who lost his balls for a fucking cold woman!
Amazing God, forgive them, please! They’re all anomalies, but they deserve to be loved too!
ancient chinese proverb:
“No respect for man who lost his balls for a fucking cold woman”
said, bitches. get used.
Shows what you know, retarded Wazup. Nobody owns that afro-penis. Not even Josh. Cracka even had it for awhile…. that was the only time Cracka has had a penis he could see without the aid of a magnifying glass.
I would so totally watch this…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1172944/X-Files-star-Gillian-Anderson-returns-screens-evil-scientist-Doctor-Who.html?ITO=1490
that’s on television too, Josh so feel free to gloat that I do occasionally watch that which makes us all dumber. Unless it’s The X-Files… that was smart entertainment.
I got Brazilian indian black-cock once.
Face!
http://www.survival-international.org/lib/img/gallery/Image_Galleries/awa/800×600/BRAZ-AWA-FW-49_medium.jpg
We don’t need to see pictures of your ugly ass, Wazup.
And you can’t FACE yourself, dumbass.
i think wazup was just saying “look at this Face!”
faceFACE!
FACE it was to you dear.
and you shoud show more respect to God’s creation. He should smite you for your insolent arrogance!
face the face facing you! hahahahahahaha..
gosh, i’m so brilliant!
God knows He makes uglies. Do you even pay attention to all that He hates?
Cracka,
That’s a self-portrait.
God knows He makes uglies. Do you even pay attention to all that He hates?
Cracka,
That’s a self-portrait.
…of your delight after having anal sex!
not to you cracka, to Nun!
I feel bad for people who have to talk to you in real life. You’re too stupid to understand anything or to even get your point across in any kind of comprehensive manner.
God makes uglies so that the beautiful people look even better.
and wazup, saying Nun has anal sex is not a diss, she’s admitted that many times on this blog as well as the fact she has dwarves living in her baby maker
one
Josh,
Don’t bother. God didn’t give Wazup the brains he gave the shit on the bottom of your shoe. Wazup does not understand “FACE”, the intricities of God’s Blog or life in general.
She’s also incredibly annoying and I honestly do feel bad for anybody who knows her in real life. I’d fuckin’ kill myself.
dwarves? really?
Nun, for real… you are getting too serious! You’re needing some relax, otherwise i’m feeling you’re going to explode or something.
Listen, you love to call me retarded, but did you ever made any kind of instructive question or comment about anything I’ve said? So please, don’t come with that, you’re way too boring to be true acttualy!
wazup, i need you to fly to seattle (or row) find the red light district and ask around for a whore named nun…she’s famous for her mazzive dick-socket. shouldn’t be hard. then introduce yourself.
indirect-suicide-causing SMITE!!!
to all of 103 i say:
umm—-???
I’d really appreciate if you could keep personal information to yourself, Cracka. Fucking bonehead.
I have had one of My characteristic changes of heart. I now command you all to be nice to the newcomer Wazup. Especially Nun.
nun,
you need some relax!!!! haha
wazup is funny. like lerbwoman…a brazillian with engrish based humor. said. you need some relax. get used. poop before anal. all brilliant.
what’s personal? that you’re a whore? how is that personal? the whole world knows.
Nun, you have no knowledge enough to even try to realize how I am on real life. And of course you wouldn’t have friends with me cuz I’m not used to socialize with rude and old-fashioned people like u.
And I can hear some heavenly stick fucking in the ass of some one we know really well, RIGHT NOW - LIVE FROM SEATTLE!!
My amazing, awesome, cutest and adorable thing of all universe, my lord God: thank you for your protection, I know i’m a piece of shit, but I’m your creation and only you have the divine right to humiliate me until only your adorable voice demands the opposite!
The last shall be first, and the first shall be last.
lovesit!
oh, THAT personal information…
aren’t there at least 10 million whorey nuns in washington state? you should be safe. i think the chiba makes you paranoid, nun.
Treefucker’s steering clear of this shit storm.
whoa, does that mean that i’m first? i’m kinda last around here, unless Wazup has stolen my job.
I’ve had a characteristic change of my mortal heart too, God. Piss off.
i’ll rank you all.
from order of last to first:
last-ben and wazup tie.
first-everyone else.
We’re the last ben, we’re the chosen creatures, we’re like God’s jews people!
God loves us, we are special, we are his little monkeys.
And you Nun: FACE THIS FACE THIS FACE THIS! I don’t even know if this expression exists, but fuck it, FACE THIS!
PISS OFF?! DAMN YOU!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!
To those who are faithful to the Lord their God, attack this traitorous WHORE with all your might!
Cracka, you may be one of the first, but it doesn’t matter, you have already being glorified as a good friend (not more than God, never!) and you are beautiful!
God will shine your life!
YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOO FUCKED NUN!
worst nightmare coming true… lá lá lá lá lá…
Yes, Nun, yes! Come over to the dark side with Anne and me!!
this site has become a recruitment center for retards and fairy folk.
have you heard the one about nun’s vagina?
don’t worry, josh. we’ll always have—um—fairies and retards, i guess.
nun shaved her pubes once. her vagina has a double chin. never again will razor meet crotch.
#124 - Agreed, Josh. Now it’s just really lame.
the funny part is we’ve run off all the week retards and fairies, now the ones left are strong in their retardations and magic
you could always become a pagan. it’s not ridiculous. ask treefucker.
there will always be more, josh.
Josh, more respect Joooooooosh! Never desregard God’s decisions. You will end up like Nun!
Cracka, gimme what u get, I want to know all about the vagina something
Honestly, I don’t appreciate people thinking it’s their place to give out personal information about other posters. Maybe I’m paranoid but that’s my fucking perogative.
Josh,
I think there are still a lot of lurkers here. I hope they enjoy Wazup’s spastic ramblings.
Wazup,
I no insult you, unless you consider yourself a fairy or a retard. you should have some relax, and not be used.
I’m feeling a little depressive right know.. don’t know way.. Nun, could you call me idiot, pathetic, ignorant or dumbass again please? Just to know if was your absence that caused this.
tks!
sorry, nun, you’ve posted so much about your home city i didn’t think of it as an intrusion into the personal realm. i’ll get out of your bubble…before it sucks me into the endless, erosive digestive tract of your catacomb-like womb.
I will get some relax Josh, I’m about to get off the job and drink a beer at some bar, you know, one heineken, just to feel more conected to the beauty of this amazing world that our beloved God made.
how’s this, wazup? you’re a halfwit and your name is stupid. why don’t you try shutting up like ben? got it? be more like ben, wazup, just do what ben does. good dog.
does that help?
F-F-F-F-FACE!
oooo…that face was for #136
after you drink that heineken why don’t you swing on home and pick the lice out of your primate families’ fur? it should help you feel more connected to God’s beautiful truth—and parasites.
I need to get some relax too.
Cracka - 136
Let’s get something straight… I have never disclosed my location. It is all you nosey douchebags that decided it was appropriate to guess because I like the fucking Seahawks. I have made references to living in the PAC NW but that encompasses a giant area. And I have never made a specific reference to which city I live in. Again, that has been done by nosey fucksticks like yourself. If I wanted people to know where I lived, I’d mention it. It’s certainly not your business to pass along. But I suppose actually getting you to respect my wishes is not something that will happen as I’ve mentioned to you before that I don’t appreciate you giving out personal information. It’s too bad you’re too thick to understand that.
i think i’m gonna go get some relax myself.
look, lady. i said i was sorry. i didn’t consider it personal info. so, again—sorry, whore. okay, people, listen up. nun is a person who lives in the pacific northwest who likes the seahawks. if you assume she lives in seattle and use seattle in some kind of half assed attempt at a joke you are as much of a prick as i am. let that be a lesson in respect-of-privacy.
if anyone wants to find me, look for the white guy in minneapolis. otherwise, i will insult you again tomorrow.
ben and wazup, shut up.
the rest of you, fuck off.
I think we could all use some relax.
Hey.
I’ve spent my day working over a sick computer - viruses. The user marinates in a sickening perfume, now I smell like old lady ass.
Dear Nun,
You’re an annoying cunt that demands she be the center of attention at all times. You believe in 911 conspiracy theories and you obsess constantly over the X Files and which celebrities you want to fuck.
NEWSFLASH! The X Files have been off the air for 20 years and you will never fuck any of those celebrities.
You’re pretty fucking far from normal. No one cares about ever finding you or meeting you. We should be the ones worried!
Get some therapy and get used, bitch.
BTW, I live in Maine, on the 45th parallel. I like cheese. My cat’s name is Sparky. Use your nosy thick fucksticks to guess my name.
don’t care
supported.
Nun you are a whore.
Sorry. I know you’re not a whore but God commanded me to insult you.
On the subject of today’s post:
STFU about Mexicans, God. If it took you six days to create the world, they could do it in three. Said.
I want to find Nun and meet her, that way another one of my expectations can be let down.
Just kidding. But I would like to meet nun.
God may command me to insult Nun all He wants. Ain’t gonna do it. Na na na na boooo booooo! *Bronx cheer* Hisssssssss!
I’m starting an outdoor sporting goods store for Mexicans.
It’s called L. L. Beaners.
ummmm Anne, they could only build the world in three days if they had God pick them up from the rail yards in his Ford F150. They of course would ride in the back.
BTW - this blog got a little too fucking serious. Everyone one of you need some relax and to get used. Chill out this is all shits and giggles and no one here care about each other on a personal level outside of insults and the internet (although I might run into Anne when I visit my mom, or when I go to Collingswood auction to sell all my childhood Dungeons and Dragons crap that I got over when I was 7 and realized girls don’t play D&D)
yo yo,
be careful, as Carlos Mencia will steal that idea. He’s a mother fucking gay fish.
shut up ben
I got Joe Rogan on his ass, Josh.
as long as we’re being serious, josh … we really could meet if you go to Collingswood. Just follow Haddon Avenue into Camden. I’ll be the white woman. Can’t miss me.
Dear ben,
You have a tiny penis and weep during sex.
Personally, I’m glad that you have no desire to find me but if you fucksticks think there are not weirdos on the internet, you’re fucking ignorant.
NEWSFLASH: The X-Files went off the air 6 years ago so I’m only partially crazy. FUCKSTICK!
Josh,
I would totally meet you. Especially if you hook me up with Jon Stewart who I would so totally fuck.
yo yo,
when you’re not here to add some levity to the situation, Nun’s and Cracka’s fake fights seem to become real and Ben recruits more retards to his cause.
Speaking of fucksticks, where’s Hume Cronyn today? I miss his sensible level-headedness.
Nun,
my next project’s sole purpose is to attract Jon Stewart’s attention and the people at comedy central. It’s a pretty good idea, and I’m finalizing it with my friends. If it works, I’ll get you his info. Just don’t rape him.
Hume is filming “Batteries Not Included 2″
Of course he is.
Cracka’s fighting is real because he has no penis. When I’m really super pissed off at somebody, I don’t call them a “fuckstick”… I kill them. Ask my burro… oh, wait. I think I was super pissed off at him yesterday. Never mind.
Josh,
I won’t rape him. I’ll give him one of Cracka’s roofies and let nature take it’s course. That’s not rape… that’s simply taking advantage of somebody who can’t defend themselves.
P.S. I’m hooking myself up with an actual Facebook… be prepared because you’ll get a friend request.
I’ll send you a PM about my idea. Your input would be appreciated.
Scary. I’ll wash off the old lady stink and hang out here more.
Your input is appreciated as well… as long as you use the afro-penis.
Who is Wazup? Dr. LerbWoman’s idiot offspring?
No, I don’t believe Wazup had any clue what this blog was before she started commenting. Herbman and L Woman are at least funny. ben only likes her because she’s more retarded than he is.
Well, at least she was new meat. Too bad she was a ‘tard.
Yo Yo said: “Well, at least she was new meat.”
That’s what I thought too until I talked to her and realized she’s bad meat. It’d be different if she was entertaing but I don’t find her all that entertaining. I just found her really lame and stupid. She’ll probably be back though.
The difference between the Brazillians and the rank-and-file American retards that we scare away is that the Brazillians are impervious to our rude remarks about their grammar. But their attention spans are about as long as Cracka’s tool, so I expect Wazup to disappear soon.
I like all the tards and crazies on this blog, the more the merrier. The through line here is we’re all religious damaged goods. In short we’re all retards, just different kinds, and some are more retarded than others.
I’m not retarded! My unicorn loves me.
Josh is right, we’re all retarded in different ways. We’re all morally corrupt and we believe in nothing which is why it’s so easy for us to murder the innocent. I murder the innocent every day. And while I like everybody, even poor little ben, I don’t particularly care for Wazup because her posts are not regular Engrish… it’s like retarded Engrish and they make my head hurt. I wish I’d never said anything to her, I’m never obeying God again. Where’s Zeus?
I also like Cracka even though he has no penis between his legs. I just wish he wouldn’t talk about my location. I could never do what Anne does, I’d have a heart attack.
Anne is fearless because she is out of her mind.
Hey did you guys see me on Comedy Central today?!?!?!!?!?!? Sorry but I don’t get a check when they show the rerun.
Shouldn’t you get some kind of residual when they show the rerun? What program is it?
no residual, Comedy CEntral writes some airtight contracts. They own the broadcast from now until the end of time. They can broadcast it on other planets and in any form yet to be discovered, all that is in the contract for real.
aint gonna appear anymore Nun, congrats, you won!
aint gonna appear anymore Nun, congrats, you won!
wwhhhhhaaaaaaaaaatt?? NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
WAZUP DON’T LEAVE BECAUSE OF NUN!! YOU ROCK!! STAAAAYYYYYeeeeeeee!!!!
Anne, poor you! so Nun’s wannabe!
Ben, dear, I would love to stay, but Nun is such a stupid 30-somehing year-old, totaly frustraded and selfish enought in thinking that the whole fucking univerce turns around her belly. This site is about God, is fun, and i’ll still reading, but this whore slut skanky bitch simply makes everything less fun and not entertaining just because she only offends, and never does anything creative!
If I want to comment again, I will, but for what is up on me, this little girl called Nun doesn’t exist at all!
Cracka: you’re just two-face guy. Doesn’t bother me at all!
she’s not a 30 something! she’s like 65.
God,
Should I call CNN on your behalf with the answer to this story, or do You want to handle it?
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/28/swine.flu.mexico/
ahuauhauauhauha, NIIIIIICE! 65 year-old woman who spends her time online writing crab and feeling superior doing this! Tha’s a shame, you should be here shearing interesting things, not being so lame and trying to make us miserable!
If you’re really that old, that explains your obsession over black-penis.
I AM NOT!!
I’m 80 you fucking fuckstick!! 
God acts really fast Ben, he is starting to eliminate mexican slowly only to make authorities start to agonize trying to seek the cure and never finding out.
Here in Brazil the news are trying to calm down the population cuz everybody is thinking that this may proliferate faster than an mosquito disease called DENGUE! we had a sort of outbreak of this here in Brazil.
God’s plague reloaded!
Swine flu only kills idiots.
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=225153&title=the-last-100-days
Ben,
I just watched a movie loosely based on your life called “Special” staring everyone’s favorite black/white guy Michael Rapaport
*cough* *cough* Nun, it’s been nice knowing you…Gloria en excelsis Deo
Get some rest Burro. Although God is smiting Mexicans He seems to be looking out for the ones who serve white people. Doing favors for Nun can cure you!!!!
there can
be only
Thanks Josh. I only live to do Gods will. I will rest and eat chicken soup tonight. Tomorrow I shall rest and eat Nun’s pussy, all in the name of the Lord!
WOOHOO!!
If that doesn’t get the Divine Comment of the Day I don’t know what will.
Oh, I wouldn’t count your potatoes, Burro. God’s mad at me because I told Him to piss off.
But I am not you, whore
Why, Burro? Why??
Me??? A Nun wannabe???? I FUCKIN STAND ACCUSED AND LOVES IT SOME NUN WANNA BE YO, FUCKIN STAND ASIDE FLAMER WAZUP!
Josh, do you know when you’re gonna be on CC? If so, will you let us know? Cuz like, I’m not willing to go to Collingswood to meet you unless you’ve got a mic in front of your face. But I would watch you on TV and tell Teenzilla I know you, just to look cool in her eyes.
PS - Tortilla Press is good, Villa Barone is good, Pop Shop is overrated. Farmer’s Market on Saturday mornings, you can get Jersey Fresh pineapples and bananas.

Know why I’m not paranoid? Because anyone who wanted to stalk me would be such a FUCKIN LOSER! I’m FUCKIN BORING! *yawn*
Bring it on, stalker. Camden, New Jersey. I’m right next door to Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital.
Tonight I went to Slice of New York Pizza at 3rd and Cooper, across from Rutgers Camden. THAT NARROWS IT DOWN, STALKER! BRING IT FUCKIN ONNNNNNN!!!!!!
Shut up, Anne.
No one cares about you enough to stalk you.
My point exactly, RETARD.
Better start measuring the IQ in Celsius instead of Fahrenheit, Hume.
kkkkookokokokolkokklo,lokolkklokokloolkokoklokioololl,
that is the literal trait of bleeding on a keyboard.
fuck. fuckoin opium tincture ssoverhere
shitshut upben
Hume,
I hate to say it but she’s got you on that. Point Anne.
enema,
you need
f you yng jsh
punch yr face; maybe
or u buy derinks
fuck
fuck offf; it
haha
ohs shit
Hume,
Perhaps you need another dip in the cocoon pool
i feeel great.
see
engrish
j spel laweryers
I have a question to pose to you mortals:
What person or animal do you think scares atheist bastards the most?
God, could You at least spare the Mexican women? Only the pretty ones, please… We could always use them as slaves, as it is written in Your Holy Book…
About Your question, is it some kind of test? You are God! You know everything! And, to know the answer to Your question, one should be an atheist or, at least, have had some kind of contact with an atheist in the past! Are You trying to uncover an atheist in disguise here?
Pig is pop nowadays Lord. Thank you!
@ #228
the dingo
Atheists are terrified of poisonous snakes. It’s called being rational.
You guys broke Hume.
Athiests fear Freddy Krueger. Seriously, that guy has knives for hands and gets you while you sleep. That’s hardcore.
atheists are mostly afraid of unicorns.
freddy kreuger only exists if children believe in him…just like every deity besides the One True God of the Divine and Holy Blog.
Freddy always finds a way to make people remember him, even if he has to use Jason Voorhees. It makes no difference if children believe or not, he can still show up in their dreams and slash them with his razor claws. Freddy is one bad-ass mother-fucker.
Nun,
Freddy old has power if you give it to him, that’s why he only went after idiots. THe kids in the 3rd movie figured it out and gave themselves powers but then they got all gay and fucked it up. Freddy is cool, has the best one liners, but he’s not that scary.
Are you going to see the new A Nightmare on Elm Street with Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy? I think I might as that dude is a great actor. He nailed it as Rorschach.
Freddy ONLY not old!!!! Him damn it.
God,
I agree with Cracka on Your question, any mythical animal would scare an atheist as it would shake their “belief” system to the core. Perhaps an angle? Maybe Anne in a vulture costume?
yeah, like a griffin.
Johnny Depp is not an idiot!!
Damn you, Josh!
Freddy had skills… remember how he got into chickie’s fetus? I saw Nightmare in the theaters when it first came out. I was used to psycho killers like Jason and Michael Myers. Freddy Krueger was a breath of fresh air.
I don’t know if I’ll see the new one… most likely so as I’ve seen every Freddy flick released… even that New Nightmare crap. And I’ve loved Haley ever since The Bad News Bears. You don’t have that kind of staying power in show business looking like that unless you actually have talent. He will probably be the only reason to see the new Nightmare movie.
i don’t like big furry spiders, the kind that are so big they can eye contact with you and hiss at you. you know, like nun’s vagina.
shit.
make—make eye contact with you
HimDamnit!!!
nun’s whispering eye has chronic conjunctivitis.
eye boogers all crusted around the edge, stuck in her wiry pubes. it’s really just a matter of personal hygiene.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, CRACKA!!
if you plan on thrusting (literally) yourself into the population’s collective crotch i feel a certain civic responsibility to spread awareness about your festering vaginitis. that’s all. think of it as a public service announcement.
“the more you know”
Never mix laudanum, absinthe, horse tranquilizers,
and prestone.
I have a deliciously wonderful vagina, Cracka!! DAMN YOU!
hume-i think you mean ALWAYS not NEVER.
Nun,
Johnny Depp was killed while a 13 inch TV sat on his dick. Sounds like an idiot to me.
Johnny Depp was watching a video of me masturbating so I don’t blame him for putting that TV on his penis. He was just trying to get close to me, Josh.
I found this highly amusing:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/god_makes_surprise_visit_to_local
read that last night, bei. what’s the deal with that, God? You won’t come to my surprise birthday parties but You’ll just pop by some stupid church? not even a birthday phone call. You’re kind of an inconsiderate God sometimes.
It explains why God ain’t been around much… He’s been busy hitting up all His Houses of God.
The picture accompanied this post doesn’t look Mexican. I’m betting 5 quids that it’s Filipinos.
i’m betting 5 quids that you’re an asshole.
is there really a difference between filipinos and mexicans anyway? i mean REALLY?
just read the posts from yesterday that i missed.
i’d totally meet you guys for drinks some day. applebee’s right? ben’s not invited unless he’s buying?
josh,
what were you on on comedy central?
what do you guys think of the nun’s whispering eye has conjunctivitis line? i don’t know. i don’t feel like i was emotionally committed to the scene enough.
I think it was just as impressive as the dimple between your legs, Cracka.
.
.
.
Explanation for the bens: That really means it wasn’t impressive at all as Cracka’s dimple is not impressive.
no one’s asking you…you’re a whore. have you ever heard an important group of white men in important deliberations about important things ask, “what do the whores think?” no. no, you haven’t. because nobody cares what whores think.
and are you talking about the dimple next to my massive dick? yeah, that dimple isn’t very impressive.
Poor delusional Cracka. I’m talking about the dimple where your tiny penis resides. That massive dick used to belong to a black man and is no longer in your possession.
AND I. AM. NOT. A. WHORE!!!
MOTHER FUCKER!
better check again, fool! i’ve been mightily quickened by the Lord Himself!!!
clinically referred to as “delusional penisitosis”
I thought that was a Vienna sausage… I guess when you’ve been working with nothing, a toddler penis does look mightily huge.
MIGHTILY!
Yes, yes, Cracka… your toddler penis is ginormous.
GINORMOUS!!!
Does your blow-up doll scream in ecstasy when you stick it in her?
yes.
MIGHTILY GINORMOUS ECSTASY!!
Wow. That must have been a feeling that you were wholly unfamiliar with.
no. i’ve had other blow up dolls.
Did you hear about the guy who was having a threesome with 2 blow-up dolls in his car in the parking lot of a Publix?
am i waiting for a punchline or is this real?
I just got back from a meeting with stay at home dads. Even gayer than it sounds.
it was real cracka, made national news.
Ben said he’d never do it again.
Re #257, why b a playah hater, uppity cracka? If that shit is true then tell me, am I lying?
Bei.
by the way the car is riding on two wheels i would bet they are not chinese or filipino, rather I would think they are Dukes.
the asian rosco is chasing them out of frame. oh no! there’s a bridge out up ahead!
yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
why b a playah hater? are you implying that you employ some feeble subset of “game” in your flimsy repertoire?
Fuck. Shit. Ass. Ben.
Rearranging Bei Shen: Ben is he.
four words that say it all.
three words that say nothing.
cracka,
don’t hate da playa hate da game!!!!
Hello everybody!
So we have a new brazilian here.
And this Wazup is crazy isn’t it?
Wazup drove Nun mad.
Folks, I have to go now.
But I miss this blog and everybody!
See you tomorrow.
josh-if nobody plays the game, the game will no longer be prevalent. if the game isn’t there to hate, we can all just go back to hating foreigners.
yes, L, this wazup is crazy.
this wazup needs to find some relax and get used.
said.
We have Brazilians here? Hot dog! Is it true that overthere the complete sexual experience is known as los tre platos, or “the three dishes”?
correct Bei,
That’s when you get dish 1: blow job, dish 2: intercourse and dish 3: AIDS
there can
be only
ONE!!!

i JUST GOT THE PRE-QUICKENING!
MY HEAD IS ON FIRE!!!
AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!
ONE
MORE
QUICKENING!!!!
shut up, ben.
the rest of you——fuck off with restored balls in your mouths! said, bitches!
well, I’d much rather shutup than fuckoff with restored balls in my mouth. thanks cunt!
Dear Pukes,
I will be away for the next four days at a convention for stay-at-home dads. My presentation is called: “Daytime T.V. and You.” My trip is being funded by a grant from Huggies.
Dear Hume,
I will be away for the next four days at a Society for Creative Anachronisms (SCA) international convention. My presentation is called: “Techniques for the distillation of laudanum and other opiate-based tinctures.”
In order to receive the information, and free samples, you must attend the convention. It’s in Mexico City.
Dear God,
I will be away for four days attending the Fairie Festival at Spoutwood Farm. I will be the leader of the Mountain Tribe. We will have Celtic rituals invoking the ancient deities of the Druids. Your name will not pass anyone’s lips except the bearded retards who protest the festival every year — to the amusement of all.
http://www.fairiefestival.net
God?
Please give Anne cancer to save this blog
from her deplorable attempts at humour.
Ass cancer, please, but any cancer will do.
Or You could invent a new disease and name
it after her.
Thanking You in advance,
H. Cronyn.
Farrah Fawcett is full of the ass cancer.
See what you did, Hume? God smote. God missed. Farrah goes down, Anne rocks on. Your fault entirely.
how’s your nun’s disease treating you?
Hume killed one of Charlie’s Angels. That’s heinous, Hume. Absolutely heinous.
Cracka,
I don’t recall Anne having Nun’s disease so I’m going to assume your question is to me. I will die soon so please send me money.
Send me money too, Cracka. Cover all the bases.
I humbly beseech You, Sir.
Give her the shaky disease, or at least
a bad case of diarrhea.
Yeah. Send us both money and we’ll actually tell you that you have a huge penis. We won’t mean it but we’ll say it for money. Well… I’ll say it for money. Anne may have higher standards than I.
Or impregnate her mysteriously and suddenly
with Your seed, just for spite.
She may be olde, but I bet her womb
is still somewhat operable.
Her womb is probably like a ‘96 Crown Victoria.
Lots of mileage but still running.
Cracka! Whoa, you are stacked, dude!
Can I git me summa dat, yo?
Hume, my daddy died of shaky disease. And God won’t impregnate me. I’m no teenager. And I had the sense to put a surgical stop to any chances of bearing a retarded brat.
Oh, Cracka! No… stop! You’re killin me! MmmmmmMMMM.
Now show me the mon-ayyyy.
You don’t have to say you’ll miss me.
I’ll know. 
You’re not supposed to say that until after Cracka gives you money, Anne.
Anne’s a whore?
Gonna be sick.
Anne,
Send us pictures of your fairy festival. Also put the fairy wings on, pray to any one of the many fairies, climb the highest tree you can find, then test the wings out. My bet is the fairies will not grant you the power of flight.
fairy festival, huh? sounds kinda gay.
Obviously she’s not a whore, Hume. She gave that away for free.
she’s a whore with a terrible business plan.
Anne’s accountant:
“While going over your 2008 tax returns, I’ve notices that client numbers are way up, but your revenue has dried up.”
that wasn’t funny, just accurate.
If I’m not mistaken another Ask God is coming up. I’m gonna make sure to ask God some questions this month,.
SHE IS NOT A WHORE!! Damn you, Cracka!! DAMN YOU!!
she’s a whore who can’t get paid. how sad is that?
i’m gonna ask God why ben won’t just shut the fuck up already.
God will probably use ben’s questions to illustrate how to NOT be a retard.
Where are God’s Questions of the Month for March and February? They’re not on the list.
i’m gonna ask when the world is going to end. i hope it’s soon.
Ben,
the world can end for you today. Go down to Walmart and pick up a semi auto hand gun. Then eat it. But not literally.
What person or animal do you think scares atheist bastards the most?
SARA PALIN!

half person, half animal.
Sarah Palin is just funny now. No way in HELL she ever gets elected. she’s a fucking joke!
oh…good…wazup is back…good. yep.
since josh didn’t answer me about comedy central i had to go to his website and answer for myself. dude, update your tour page.
this computer won’t let me download anything without administrative clearance of some kind so i can’t watch it here. i find that gay. very gay.
OH MY GOD I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA!!!
New TV show:
We take all the marginal comics who have had a million shows get cancelled, and we put them on one show!! their only goal is to not get cancelled. They’ll do anything.
The name of the show: Cancelled
Here are my first three guys:
Andy Richter, Colin Quinn, and David Alan Grier.
Who else would be good for this?
of course she wouldn’t be elected… but it’s amazing what Tina Fey made impersonating her. That’s real comedy. (see cracka?)
Ben, this sounds like those MTV boring programs… But I would watch it anyway!
like: “my sweet sixteen”. Dreamy!
Look who´s back!!!!!
i can´t believe you´re all the same…
Cracka is still an idiot
Nun is still a whore
Josh is still Gay
and Ben is still Retarded….
God, thank you for killing the mexicans, i would never go to Tihuana again!
All those drugs, and bitches and tequila…
i had fun.
I. AM. NOT. A. WHORE!!
God Damn you, Herbman! DAMN YOU!! 
you always scream on the bed: “Call me a Whore Big Doctor, Call me a Whore…”
a square is a square and a circle is a circle…
your engrish has improved, lerbert.
it’s almost as if your former self was all an act.
if i’m such an idiot, then why aren’t i living in brazil?
when ben says ‘best idea’ what he means idea just like all the other ideas…
no fun cracka.. not at all. Still idiot…
*an idiot
ben isnt retarded, he’s just underdeveloped!
shut up, wazup.
Nun’s have no vocabulary at all, always repeating and repeating…
getting bored…
that´s because you are so damn idiot that even brazilians don´t want you here….
i think you should live on a far far island where no other human beeing can have the chance to meet you….
you can’t shut me up idiot, simply cuz you’re not hearing me! cutting my hands off would be more appropriated though.
what´s up wazup ?
fuck you.
and shut up Ben.
Said.®
yes! I’m your neighbor, actually!
and fuck you back Herb dumbass
“said.” it´s mine cracka boy….
or… girl!
girl girl girl girl !!!!!!!!!
girly girl!!!
my neighbor ?
don´t be angry… i was just greeting you.
Gad damn it! I thought my prayers had been answered and Lerbman died of a massive ass hemorrhage from his two boyfriends doing some double entry.
Picture of wazup:
http://www.motifake.com/steeler-fan-demotivational-poster-44570.html
Lerbman,
this will always be a classic:
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090402143607828
you all shall endure two brazillians now
in the name of the Lord
amen!
Haha… Wazup is a chubbasaurus.
Herbman - #342,
Our sex banter has nothing to do with reality… remember when I said that you had the most ginormous penis I’d ever seen?
GO STEELERS! ahuahuahauhauhahu
Loved my new body!
http://www.motifake.com/orcs-demotivational-poster-20978.html
Maybe this one would be more impressive though.
#342
really herb??
We shall meet eatch oder
And God would appreciate that!
No one likes my idea? I thought it was really good.
Not even one comment on the premise? Josh, you could maybe be on that show someday yourself.
wasup 363,
Don’t try to pass off a picture of Anne as yourself.
I do like your sense of humor though.
#363-is that johnson at the fairy festival (sounds kinda gay)?
That pic is Anne, swigging a beer to celebrate
her 4 day quarantine.
josh beat me to it by a full 60 seconds.
it wasn’t for a quickening, you know!
Ben, I liked your idea! Truth to be said, I would like to starring as stand up comedy maybe!
SPOTLIGHT! ehehehehehehe
Josh: Whoever the photos belong to, I totaly agree cuz my dream is accomplish that pretty mass of fatty!
God has to learn to love me even if I’m fat!
no, no, no—wazup, God will smite you for getting fat, just as the two coreys.
God hates the fatty landmasses, especially when they think they’re fattractive.
i’m not fat! i’m curvy!
okay, then your curves are disgusting.
I think the fatties also try to get away with saying their big-boneded. Yeah… your bones are full of fattiness, Fatty-Fat Von-Fatso.
err… they’re, not their. I pulled another Josh.
Nun,
when you say you pulled a Josh, do you mean a simple grammatical mistake or you gave another guy named Josh a tug job?
Ben,
Your premise sucks.
I mean it was a simple retarded error. When I give a Josh a hand job, I’ll take pictures for you.
ben’s premise does suck but that’s no surprise since it came from ben.
on the one hand, ben’s premise sucks because of all the suckiness. on the other hand, it doesn’t suck because it would probably be greenlit and the apes would watch it.
Who about a show like ‘Entourage’ but he main character is God, and you have a bunch of people kissing His ass for divine comments and shout outs?
that sounds familiar.
did they already film a pilot or something?
The sheep will watch it, Cracka. Apes have better taste than that.
God hasn’t given a Divine Comment for mortal days. God has forsaken us in this barren desert internet.
wHATEVER Josh! you just jealous. that idea is funny and people would be interested in it. every show could have a countdown to when it gets cancelled. it would be fucking revolutionary in television! a show that knows it’s going to get cancelled! i would find that hilarious, just to see those guys embarrassing and making fun of themselves, I would gain so much respect for them.
you guys have no vision. only cracka.
THERE HAVE BEEN NO COMMENTS WORTHY OF DIVINATION IN THE PAST COUPLE DAYS!!!
wazup, we should meet ?
i don´t think so, only if you are a hot whore just like Nun…
i ilke overflowing assholes of big Whores like Nun!
DAMN IT!!
I. AM. NOT. A. MOTHER. FUCKING. WHORE!!
Also, my asshole does not overflow.
I told You to piss off, God. It’s not my fault that You did not see the divinity of that comment.
yes Nun, you are not a mother fucking whore, you´re just a ordinary regular whore, like hundreds around the world…
and yes, your asshole overflow everytime i use it
said.®
yeah Ben,
your idea is revolutionary! I mean the network would have to fill up it’s entire prime-time schedule with these shows, costing over $1 million to shoot a pilot for each, then get advertisers to go in on the shows knowing that they will get cancelled one by one. get all that to work and your idea is still “unfunny”
if you were to get it off the ground call sue costello. She had a failed sitcom in the 80/90s. I also saw her bomb, like to crickets, at a club and when she got off stage she said to a lady with her, “They weren’t laughing because they were listening to what I had to say, they were invested in me” that’s when I laughed.
Lerbman,
you can’t register single words and second you’re in Brazil, we Americans don’t give a shit about your laws!
SAID!!!!!
I AM NOT ORDINARY!!
God damn it!!
my laws ?!?!
the only laws i follow is the laws of the Almighty Lord! The Ruler of the Universe..
so shut up you fucking gay ape!
God,
Thank You for making me a white hetero American male! Your graciousness will forever be remembered and I will give You eternal thanks for such blessings. I only regret I was not gifted with riches… though, I pray continuously for Your kindness to bestow said riches upon me.
Please, oh Lord, continue to smite all darker races, all testicularly challenged sub-human women and queer-ass-folks for in doing so You have paved my road with golden ease and erased all competition in my blessed life.
Thank you God. You rock!!!
you are a broke black gay man josh…
poor of you….
by the way, i don´t think you are american, i think you are another fucking clandestine mexican is USA!
God,
As for which animals scares atheist heathen like me most? I’d say a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and on his heads seven crowns.
If I saw one of those I’d wet myself and cry like a little girl. Of course, I do that most nights before slumber.
dont lie git…
you always wet yourself and cry like a fucking little girl on her period….
Oh my GOD
there
can be
ONLY OOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!!!
FACE IT CRACKA BOY!!!!!
=====================================*~~~
When I say there can be only one, I am not talking about how many dicks in my butt there are. then there can be only two, maybe three if we have good grease.
wasn’t there already a show like that called
greenlight?
FACE IT CRACKA BOY!!!!!
I mean face my penis and kiss it please. I would very much be liking if you kiss my penis. If no, can I lick your balls?
Herbman,
Not always. There are often times when I am too sloshed and black out saving myself the humiliating burden of recognizing my inadequacies.
This Herbman is more fucked up than I could ever be.
A show about dicks in Herbman’s butt?!
will not work Nun no one would be getting kicked off. My butt takes all takers.
Thankfully, God smites all non-white-hetero-male-Americans giving me a much more equal playing ground in life. Without His blessed assistance I’d be most likely be a dishwasher at some truckstop selling sex for meth.
What’s wrong with selling sex for meth? That doesn’t make someone a whore or anything like that.
Meth poster proving Nun’s point:
http://www.motifake.com/meth-demotivational-poster-5800.html
It is wrong if you become this:
http://catsonmars.com/otaku/cosplay/apr04-01.jpg
Josh’s poster makes me horny.
Git,
That’s a man baby!!!!!!
I have an insatiable need for meth right now. Meth, sex and 15 dollars.
but nun,
based on the poster you can only have 2 out of three.
well,
this took a turn for the worse.
i’m going to find $15.
ben, waz—shut up.
the rest of you…nevermind. you know what to do.
Josh,
Based on the poster, she looks methed out of her head, she also got 15 dollars for laying there like a log and she was having sweet, sweet sex. That’s 3 outta 3, baby!!
I still have an insatiable need for meth, sex and 15 dollars. I wouldn’t mind a little ecstasy either. And to really piss our God off, I want to be on top.
I don’t think what she got was sweet sweet sex, maybe she got Hep C and a sore back from the gut banging on her spine. Nothing about that is sweet
You just don’t know how to enjoy sex, Josh!!
Said.
I’ve found that if it doesn’t result in tears and shame for at least one of the participants, I’m doing it wrong.
That said, I’ve beaten up the kid down the road and taken his $15. Can’t help with the meth, Nun, but how do you feel about vicodin? It’s not nearly as good as House would have us believe, sad to say.
Jim, two words: Laudanum works.
Trust me.
My insurance won’t cover laudanum, and the ass-faced hospital nazis wouldn’t send me home with any, either. How in hell am I supposed to recover from surgery on those terms? Him damn it!
Well shit.
Ask Nun for some chiba.
Chiba is too much relax for me, I get the dumb real quick.
The real-life whores here, being all legal and shit, charge way more than $15. Guess I’m just screwed.
who the fuck is Jim?
Thanks for the welcome, Ben.
Shut up ben.
Hume is Jim.
Don’t mind ben, Jim. He’s the resident retard.
Ben is retarded but he is right. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Nun,
perhaps you can make use of this invention, and if not you can give it to cracka, I heard he has a similar problem
https://www.cuchini.com/
Josh is ben.
Holy shit.
He’s the straight man/funny (sorta) man.
I knew it.
Also, Cracka is really Bobcat Goldwaith. (sp?)
Either him or Martin Mull.
Nun is actually Lily Tomlin.
I wouldn’t mind that. Lily Tomlin is super-cool.
Hume,
Nun likes black cock too much to be Lily Tomlin. Lily packs a box lunch.
This just in:
Ben is the Unpleasant Jew
Just revisited the Virgin MAry post to see what the new idiot “eff you” wrote.
As I scroll up I see a comment from the U-Jew with a picture of Pirate McCain next to it. We all know Ben is McCain, therefore Ben is the Jew.
Fuck you Ben.
ben?
is this true?
video of Bridgette:
http://www.machovideo.com/video/In_her_defense_thats_a_Diet_Coke_guys_14477/
Ben,
Will you answer the accusation that you are U Jew?
http://stuffgodhates.com/2008/04/6-the-virgin-mary-2/#comment-3767
If you look at a lot of the old posts, you’ll find that ben is a few different people. I guess he knows he sucks as himself.
What if Ben is actually God, and Ben created all these characters to drum up visits to his site.
I doubt that, Josh. God is actually witty and clever. I hope God takes your ballsac again for such a blasphemous suggestion.
Shame on you, young josh.
That would make ben far too clever.
For the record, dude, I’m me.
No one else.
Don’t care enough for the alter ego thing.
Nor would I know how.
This is what happens when you get olde.
too clever for Ben, but not too clever for God.
Very Primal Fear.
i’ve never been anyone but cracka. this character has given me by far enough material to work with. i’m racist, mysoginist, agist, anti-everything, ethnocentric, every -ist there is. it’s easy as hell.
I agree that God is the most bitchin’ Deity ever, but why the hell did He smite my shoulder? Was He aiming for ben and missed? I just don’t get it.
josh is obsessed with primal fear.
josh opened for negrodamus.
i hope this isn’t too personal for him.
dude, update your tour page.
jim. jim, jim, jim, jim.
because you deserved it.
Cracka,
I will update my tour page soon. Right now it’s submission season, so I’ve been working on my sitcom treatment, working on my news show, putting together my DVD packages for festivals.
Plus I’m on Mac now and need an FTP program for my old PC (used to do it at my day job) to update my website.
Negrodamus loved me, but he’s fucking old as shit and doesn’t have a cell. To get in touch with him you have to call his girlfriend, and that was just too faggy for me.
I work with the unpleasant jew. i posted in his name that one time and he got really angry at me. all the other times he ever posted it’s his own image.
Josh thinks I’m God?? holy shit dude! God is gonna be pissed. that guy hates me.
Ben,
don’t be so Ben with you reading comprehension. I said “what if” you know like the old marvel comic “what if”
I don’t think you’re God, he has my real email address you just send stuff to my website. God has my direct line. So don’t flatter yourself Fagasurus Rex.
no one commented on the video of Bridgette I posted!!!!
http://www.machovideo.com/video/In_her_defense_thats_a_Diet_Coke_guys_14477/
sorry, josh. IT says blocked by websense! fuckers.
i’ll have to do it at home…unless i can steal a wifi signal from the neighbors.
ben,
I don’t blame him for getting angry with you. Only a moron like yourself would think something like that was kosher. On the radio yesterday some chick called in saying that one of her roommates had tattooed a big, black, hairy penis on her ass while she was passed out drunk… not sharpie, mind you… an actual tattoo. I could see you doing something so totally fucked up like that if you were skilled enough to be a tattoo artist.
Josh,
That reminds me of one of the other mother’s on my kid’s little league team. Her hubby brought her dinner at the game last night and I could have swore I was witnessing a pig eating at her trough.
that’s unlikely. do you have any idea what kind of fucked up you would have to be to sleep through a tattoo? she’d have to be a liter of vodka and 1000 mg of oxycontin with a 6 ft hash bong chaser kind of fucked up. like pump my stomach so i don’t die fucked up.
she’s full of shit.
for some reason i believe ben. something about the unpleasant jew being funny and ben being ben just makes the scenario more feasible that way. maybe i’m just compartmentalizing to protect my comfortable impression of the world. i mean, if ben were the jew and the jew were ben…fuck, i’d have to start praying to fairies or something. i’d go live in a cave somewhere.
Yes, Cracka… they talked about all that. She was 18 and had consumed massive quantities of alcohol. It is well within the realm of possibility that the girl passed out that hard.
And I believe ben too. Only somebody like him would do something so fucked up as stealing a co-worker’s identity.
fucking A! I only did it one time.
So? You still did it. If I had sex for money once, I’d still be a fucking whore. You’re still a fucking putz.
Ben,
you can build a thousand bridges and then suck one dick, and to the world you’re not a bridge builder, just a dick sucker.
classic josh.
If ben were a gay porn star, his name would be….
Since porn names are very rarely clever, shouldn’t he be something really lame like Ben Dover?
“dick sucking factory”
starring ben dover.
“shut up, ben. shut up and suck it.”
Anyone skipped work to go see X-men today?
i use all my sick days to get fucked up.
is it good?
Bei,
I was going to skip work and see X Men, but my time machine broke so I could not go back to 2000 for the premier.
anyone see Wolverine? It came out today.
Not sure if I saw Wolverine or Anne’s vagina.
Either way, pretty frightening,
but not worth $7.50.
I hear Liev Schrieber is pretty kick-ass as Sabertooth.
Josh,
I didn’t know how to spell Wolverine so I said X-men. I’m sorry that confused and disoriented you.
bei shen’s mutant power is the power to daze the enemy with his own stupidity.
the power to kill a yak
from 200 yds…just by looking at it
and shooting it….with nothing
but a muthafuckin’ mind bullet
that’s telekenesis, bitch!
Bei’s not stupid, he’s just illiterate.
does johnson’s vagina have its own mutant skeletal system made from a top secret alloy, hume?
wait a minute, wolverine’s the one who’s not a mutant but the product of a clandestine governement experiment, right?
He’s both, Cracka. He is a real mutant. His claws were bone before he took part in Project X or whatever it’s called.
that’s right.
Thank you for your candor and insight at #451, Cracka. Slowly, the scales are lifted from my eyes.
His Divine Blog of Truth shall set you free, my son.
#481 um, Cracka,
I’ve heard Anne’s vagina juice is like
Medusa’s blood from Clash of The Titans.
Liquifies metal and whatnot, turns
the bravest man into a statue.
(maybe that’s because when one glances into
that yawning abyss, they die of fright?)
AH YES, THE YAWNING ABYSS….
i’m going to drink at a baseball game…or is it watch baseball at a drinking session?
ben-shut. the. fuck. UP.
you too, waz.
i would appreciate the rest of you fucking off. in a group or individually, whichever is more convenient. i know we’re all busy.
especially nun, what with all the whoring.
Friday night, first of the month. Looks like it’s a busy time for a whore who excepts food stamps. God’s speed to all the tricks.
Food stamp-FACE!
Also, it’s ‘accepts,’ young josh, but in ben’s case,
it’s excepts, because he’s always the exception
to the rule.
And no whore would probably accept anything
from him, aside from something they steal.
Hume,
I’m a grammatical idiot. It’s my curse. But it beats being a true Ben.
Your grammatical skills will improve as you
age, young josh.
And luckily, there is only one ben.
I’m trying to picture ben mustering up
the courage to approach a whore.
He probably takes an hour to buy an issue
of Cock N Balls weekly when he strolls into
his neighborhood news stand.
500 is close.
Who will get it?
Me?
Cracka must be passed out already.
Nun must be watching Agent Mulder and touching herself.
Anne’s bumping twats at the idiot festival…
I guess I get it.
Shit.
My balls just got even saggier.
They’re like two Titleists in an old sock.
If I were a whore, it’d be a cash-only business. Leave it to a darkie to bring food stamps into it.
Here you go boys… I know you can’t read it but you can look at that pretty picture. I love that she taps wood… I’ll look like a fool trying to find wood to knock on. I knock on my own head if I can’t find actual wood… don’t know if that helps or not and if it does help, I don’t know what that says about my head.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/5256285/Gillian-Anderson-bares-all.html
That’s a misleading headline.
I wanted to see some naked Scully.
I’d love to interview her.
Also, bone her.
The headline is an eye catcher to be sure. I’d love to interview her as well… over a joint.
I didn’t even see #498 until now. I don’t touch myself to Agent Mulder, Hume. I watch porn.
Hume she watches Sex-Files!!!!! With Agents Box Molder and Dildo Skanky
When I masturbate, it’s a day-long ordeal.
I’d just rather chase laudanum with PBR.
Hume, there’s a saying around here that if you visit the whorehouses, you’re too lazy to masturbate. You, on the other hand, are an over-achiever. I salute you!
gross. jim, would you mind saluting hume in the privacy of your own bedroom? not that there’s anything wrong with it. if that’s who you are. it’s just that for me, right now, your boner is…well…disgusting. but, that’s only my preference.
Such a Victorian mindset, dear Cracka.
You should see this pulley/leather strap
contraption I invented so as to
have a healthy monthly gonad cleansing.
okay, so now i am aware of two preferences. i’m anti-jim-boner and i’m anti-hume-nad. i’m growing more and more each day (freebie for nun).
my preference is to be anti-whatever. i would prefer to be against whatever you are for. thank you.
i’m like the bartleby of contrarianism.
I would prefer not to.
He was a hell of a scrivener, no?
It isn’t like we shook hands, or anything. Now THAT would be gross, given the subject matter. I’ll go on the record as being anti-that.
if you guys shook hands i swear i would perpetually puke and perpetually puke and puke (perpetually) much like nun’s vagina did during the “infamous incident” back in ‘96. let me paint the picture: one vagina, one bar filled with sailors. good God—nothing left but a few cracked bones belched up by one gloating, grinning, engorged vagina. it looks eerily similar to jabba the hut, by the way. hahaha, your jedi mind tricks won’t work on this vagina, boy!!! anyway, that’s what comes to mind when i think of you two….ugh…shaking hands. it’s a garish, ghoulish grotesgue vagina-dentata burlesque. hmmph…swallowed my own puke there, sorry.
was alliteration overkill there? maybe.
you know what sucks? working on a saturday because people are paranoid about MEXICAN SWINE! flu and having your friends call you to tell you that you should be outside drinking beer in the sun with them. “gotta go! there’s scantily clad women everywhere and my beer is too cold to leave unattended! who grilled this steak? it perf-” (dial tone)
* it’s perf-
MEXICAN SWINE!!!!
Fuckers.
I work on Saturday too and it never fails
to have someone call me up to let me know
how great the beach is, with bitches and beer and barbecue.
Fuckers.
“…and then they all just took their tops off and started showering each other with rum and licking….”
oh yeah, well i stuck a nasopharyngeal swab into this old man’s nostril and pulled out a stale yellow ball of phlegm. it was pretty awesome. maybe not as awesome as the topless rum shower. but—you know—-pretty awesome.
“and then, out of nowhere, radiohead appeared and just started playing all of their old stuff and handing out money…”
all right, agnes, who’s ready for a sloppy wet ear lavage?
i am so lucky.
Cracka said: “well i stuck a nasopharyngeal swab into this old man’s nostril and pulled out a stale yellow ball of phlegm.”
THAT’S DISGUSTING, CRACKA!!
And he thought an imaginary handshake was gross!
it WAS gross. at least the way i imagined it. but my imagination sometimes melts up there in my head and runs out of my ears and mouth like it’s part of some pavlovian response mechanism.
now some MEXICAN SWINE! family is coming here because they all have coughs and the g’ma just flew in from mexico city. someone’s meeting them outside with masks, escorting them directly into a negative airflow room and swabbing them while wearing a PAPR. it’s like the scary part of E.T. around here. well, thanks for smiting me with killer flu, God! good one again, Sir!
wait a minute here…i’m white! all i have to do is rest and hydrate, maybe some soup, assloads of DVDs and i’ll be fine! this MEXICAN SWINE! flu doesn’t scare me! because i
am not a stupid mexican-i’ll survive.
SCHWEINERFLUEGEN!!!!
PIGDOGS!!!
MEXICAN SWINE!!!
well, i made it, Lord. not a sign of MEXICAN SWINE! flu anywhere.
then again, the cleaning crew hasn’t come to scrub the toilets yet, either.
MEXICAN SWINE!!!
i’m gonna find a big ol’ glass to fill with some sweet, sweet relax.
said.
shut up, ben.
shut up, waz.
MEXICAN SWINE! flu
New way to oppress beaners
Cough, shake hands, repeat
Fuck the swine flu.
I just devoured a piggy.
Delicious.
Just curious, God, but what do you think
about super high Rastas that
refer to You as ‘Jah?’
Does Nun ever get irie and call You that?
God,
It looks that that Mexican whore “Our Lady of Guadalupe” Mary is trying to show you up by appearing in a breakfast griddle. And, she’s got Mexican wrestlers singing her praises!
Looks like it’s payback for the Swine Flu you’ve smited them with:
- - - - -
More than 100 people have flocked to gaze at the likeness of the Virgin Mary since it was discovered as the griddle was being cleaned.
Among the awe-struck was a group of masked Mexican wrestlers who arrived Thursday for an exhibition at a nearby swap meet.
One, known as Mr. Tempest, says: “This is amazing. It’s a true miracle.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_griddle_virgin_mary;_ylt=Aha6ydgHkPEG3fX3a2HEEhLtiBIF
Thanks for droppin by, god.
why is it that it’s always some crazy spanish person who sees God, Mary or Jesus in a taco? COme on now, God is not stopping by to put His face on the grille between the two number 1 combo plates.
isn’t he, josh? isn’t he?
no cracka, he’s busy working on his cartoon
PS - Wolverine sucked balls
sucked balls? that seems out of character for him.
for Hugh Jackman? Not really
oh yeah. forgot about the oscars.
what a fag.
i mean the dancing and singing was faggy.
the ball sucking is just gay.
really? wolverine sucked? i don’t believe you Josh. that’s unpossible.
Shut up ben
ben just proved he’s the ralph wiggum of this blog
shut up ralph
I have posted a new ‘Ask God’ feature.
Don’t ask Me any questions!
blog ga guna
jancuk
asuuuu
taekkk
Does matamu mean “I am retarded and I like to have sex with dead animals”?
Dear God (of this blog of course):
Chinga tu pinche puta perra madre cabron!!!
Viva Mexico!!!!!!!!!!
Translation: May the flees of a thousand camels infest your pubic hairs, including the ones on your anus!!!!
i HATE MEXICANS TOO THEY HAVE TOO MANY KIDS AND DONT SPEAK ENGLISH AND ALWAYS TRY TO HAVE SEX WITH THEIR OWN KIDS I FUCKING HATE THEM TOO NIGERS ALSO AND ANY ONE ELSE WHO IS A FUCKING FUCKED UP FUCKER FUCK U
id likke a legitimate rebuttal bakked by facts not crazy crakka nonsense yes that means u whiteboy
this web cite makes me laugh. People that makes this comments do not have a life. They are idiots! How can somebody that believes in God, can say that God Loves Everything. I AM PROUD TO BE MEXICAN!! “THEY CAN’T DEPORT US ALL”
Poor stupid Mexican Karmyn.
POOR!! hahaha, it’s all that you have to say. I think she is right. The people who made this web site are ignorants. They used STEREOTYPES…. We need to educate our people.
Did You Know…
Mexico is the richest and most highly developed country in Latin America.
Felipe Muñoz was an Olympic swimmer who won one gold medal in swimming at the 1968 Olympic Games.
Lagunas de Montebello National Park is one of North America`s great wildlife sanctuaries. It is one of the most important tourist spots in Mexico.
Mexico is a study in contrasts. Bustling modern places with all the latest amenities are surrounded by mountains and rainforest.
In 2007, three Mexican teenagers won the Eight National Geographic World Championship. They were Emanuel Johanssen Campos (15), Carlos Franco Ruíz (14) and Angel Aliseda Alonso (16). Johanssen, was born in Tejalpa, Mexico, said, “To win gold, it`s really great. I don´t have any words”.
More languages are spoken in Mexico than in Europe. That`s because that country is home to 60 Indian nations.
The Zacatecas Cathedral is considered one of the world`s most beautiful churches.
Mexico has the world record for beaches: Cozumel, Playa del Carmen, Puerto Escondido, Puerto Angelito, Puerto Angel, Playa Cementerio, Playa Canta Mar, Puerto Vallarta, Acapulco, Barra de Navidad, Zihuatanejo…
Mexico has 27 World Heritage Sites. It has more World Heritage Sites than Australia (17), Brazil (18), Canada (14), Egypt (7), Greece (17), Peru (10), Japan (14) and the United States (20). Some of the wonders of Mexico are the Historic Town of Guanajuato, the Historic Centre of Puebla, the Pre-Hispanic City of Teotihuacan, the Historic Centre of Morelia, the Historic Monuments Zone of Querétaro, the Pre-Hispanic Town of Uxmal, the Historic Monuments Zone of Tlacotalpan and the Ancient Maya City of Calakmul.
Mexico introduced chocolate, corn, and chilies to the world.
The first printing press in North America was used in Mexico City in 1539.
The National University of Mexico was founded in 1551 by Charles V of Spain and is the oldest university in North America.
Mexico City has the highest elevation and is oldest city in North America. It is also one of the largest cities in the world.
http://facts.randomhistory.com/2008/11/25_mexico.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?Amazing-Facts-About-Mexico-And-Mexicans&id=879991
FINALLY! Some one who actually sees what I see. The MAJORITY of Mexicans that I see (I’m the only fucking asian in my class at San Jose) are COMPLETELY RETARDED AND STUPID
They act like they’re total wangsters and stuff.
And there is a LOT OF CRIME due to MEXICAN ASS HOLES WHO CAN’T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH OR STILL EVEN THINK THIS IS MEXICO THEY LIVE IT
GOD DAMN CINCO DE MAYO IS NOT A US HOLIDY AND NEITHER IS CAESAR CHAVEZ
They fuckin’ annoy me right now. And I’m scared about tomorrow because I might be annoyed to death.
I wish they all would get a goddamned education.
Obtener una educacion!
Se habla INGLES
I really hope they learn English soon. I mean, I’m learning Viet (my lang), Jap, Chinese, Spanish, English (2nd language), and even a bit of French!
Whoa, I really flamed there. Eh, I’m just getting this out of my head. (If i actually post this, then I’ll just leave it :D)
And also because you Mexicans call us like “chino” or “pinche chinito”
Wow, so you guys can call us Chinese when we’re not even Chinese or even suggest everyone is chinese THEN still make fun of it, and say “Stupid Chinito!”.
Geez, we can’t say anything back? Call us “retarded chinese boy” and we just sit there and fuckin’ take it.
What the deuce is so important about “Cinco De Mayo”? Everyone is having a war, and most of the times US wins no one really celebrates it, but some Mexican war…
And we can’t talk about our Vietnam War?
Gosh, the feeling is mutual because you always call every Asian guy Chinese.
This is what you bastards think =
Chinese
=======================
Asia, Vietnam, Japan, Phillipino, Thai, etc.
Chinese and Asia are supposed to switch positions on that chart!
Poor stupid Jenna.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_comedy
Don’t pretend you can educate people when you’re not smart enough to understand God’s Divine Hate.
Te puedo decir que tengo una educacion! Y que hablo Ingles tambien. Aprede de cinco de mayo y comprenderas por que lo celebran en los Estados Unidos. Pues lastima que seas el unico Asiatico en San Jose, pero para tu informacion. California era parte de Mexico. Si no quieren que hablen espanol ahi y que haya muchos Mexicanos..Estas mas que invitado a que te mudes a otro estado. Si tanto te molesta la puerta esta abierta para ti, como para muchos que se quejan de la vida. VIVA LA VIDA…..
I’ll remind you of this rant the next time you send Judas downstairs for some tacos and enchiladas — you know you crave such things, Papa.
FUCK YOU!!!! RACIST BASTARDS!!!!!
Dude I kind of liked your website but what you said was horrible, I understand sarcasm but that was just offensive and by the way we dont celebrate 5 de mayo in mexico, thats the day we won a battle against france in puebla we acknoledge it and pay respect to the men who died and the reason why the US celebrates it its because we mexicans are awesome and they want to celebrate our Awesomeness!
P.S not all mexicans are assholes who called every asian chino thats usually the uneducated chicano children from parents that come from little villages in mexico. Plus we haver bigger penises than asians just putting it out there.
And thats what she said!
all right look it dosent matter
you following me

the real problem is that white americans have been scapegoating since forever
cocaine is illegal because its addictive properties affected
those that used it the most
and it being an expensive product and
rich white americans having the most money
you get the picture
so they take the person who can least defend themselves
and blame it on them
the blacks
same with opium (the asians)
(ive had thai friends half japanese half mexican friends
and i still cant tell you guys apart no offense)
and weed with the mexicans
and on my block theres white italian who is a gangbanger
and sells drugs on the block and fucks underage girls
(i think because he has a small penis)
but he has mexican followers because well they were raised in america
and on a side note italians were ounce considered illegal immigrants and not of the white race
my point is as long as we keep seeing ourselves as different races instead of humans
we will all still remain socially inept
wich is fine by me
and i dont care if white ppl
keep doing what theyre doing because genetically
dark skin is a predominant trait
so as long as hicks stay horny
theyll be gone in a couple hundred years
and thats what the kkk is scared of
they said so theyre selves
and jesus was a jew
just putting that out there
the last supper is a jewish thing
ramadan er something of that sort
so, israel, you’re saying, uhm… if the darkies finally get their way with that whole `down with whitey’ thing, cocaine, opium and weed will be legalized?
I hate niggers can’t stand white people even more their dirty all child molesters about 90% are white sick fucks they fuck within their blood family.I love it when me and my homeboys catch a skin head in the wrong side of town and watch him piss on him self white people are either getting molested or are the molester most fags are white your some sick dirty nasty ass race fuck all white people die muthafuckers