Stuff God Hates

#71 The Easter Bunny

Apr 6th, 2009 by Jesus Christ

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to receive the Word of God, as written by your Lord and Savior, The Prince of Peace: Jesus The Christ!

This weekend marks the 1,976th observance of Easter, the holiday which celebrates My Death and Resurrection. And yet what are young Christian children being taught about this week? That’s right, the Easter Bunny!

Well you know what I say? FUCK THE EASTER BUNNY! What did the stupid Easter Bunny ever do for you? Did he die for your sins? Did he heal the sick, turn water into wine, or walk on water?

FUCK NO! I seem to remember Me being the one who did all those things for you. All the Easter Bunny ever did was hide some faggy eggs and fatten you with chocolate.

Seriously, where did this Easter Bunny* shit come from? Does anyone know?

I do! It came from HALLMARK! It’s all a plot by Hallmark, pagans, parents, the deaf, and the government to hide the truth of My crucifixion from children!

What’s the big deal anyway? A child of two should be shown The Passion of the Christ and be taught what Easter is actually all about. In the old days children were thrilled if they could watch a real live execution. But I get it, people have gone soft these days and need cute things like bunnies to make crucifixions fun.

But your kids don’t need the Easter Bunny! If your kids need fun Easter pictures for coloring, give them pictures of Me to color. A picture of Jesus slowly dying on the cross has plenty of wounds and gashes to color in with red, and Zombie Jesus resurrected from the dead is fun for kids of all ages.

And if you want your kids to play with colored eggs, they can still do that, just use the eggs to teach them about My death and resurrection. First help your children paint the eggs to look like Me. Then on Good Friday show them a Jesus egg and ceremonially smash it on a rock. Then on Easter tell them to go find the resurrected Jesus egg you’ve hidden somewhere in the yard. If they find it you reward them with red jelly beans which represent My blood! Yum!

Or here’s another fun way to entertain your kids on Easter: get the cutest bunny you can find, tie it to a cross on Good Friday, and then (as a family) jab it with forks. This should provide hours and hours of family fun. That’s all, there’s no resurrecting a dead bunny.

In closing, do Me a favor this week. If you see anyone dressed as the Easter Bunny, knock them over and light them on fire. Thanks!

* Blessed are those who hate the Easter Bunny, for they shall be rewarded with all the chocolate they can eat in the kingdom of Heaven.

WATCH THIS IN 3D

Tags: Bunnies, Easter, Jesus Christ

Posted in Unbelievable Bullshit

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435 Responses to “#71 The Easter Bunny”

on 06 Apr 2009 at 8:00 am1Smoggy Batzrubble

mmmmm…chocolate!
on 06 Apr 2009 at 12:15 pm2okijohn

I never could figure out what rabbits had to do with eggs, but I like to eat both, so I’ll kill any bunnies that I come across this week.

Chocolate bunnies are good to eat too, but not as fun to shoot, as they don’t run as fast (not quite as sporting).
on 06 Apr 2009 at 12:20 pm3Josh

Thank you Jesus for calling out that pagan easter bunny bullshit. What does a bunny and a duck have to do with the bible, or God, or you? Nothing! It was all part of that one stupid popes plan to market Christianity to the pagans and increase the number of followers, same thing as Christmas with that stupid fucking tree.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 1:05 pm4uppity cracka

let’s crucify us some pagans!!!!

ooooh, johnso-o-o-o-o-o-on. here, pagan, pagan, pagan.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 1:19 pm5ben

great great post Jesus. the Easter Bunny is bullshit. i also loved the video.

i am suck.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 2:32 pm6uppity cracka

you know who’s a whore? nun.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 2:32 pm7uppity cracka

ben, you are suck.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 2:57 pm8Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Fuck off penisless-Cracka.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 3:32 pm9uppity cracka

i am just a few quickenings away from e-smacking you in your dumb whore face with my big ol’ quickening schlong.

said, bitch.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 3:45 pm10Cracka suffers from Penis envy

You mean your little tiny inch? Oh, I’m so frightened. Not!!

said
on 06 Apr 2009 at 4:14 pm11The Unpleasanter Jew

don’t play games with the fing report. that’s NOT cool.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 4:24 pm12Bei Shen

I saw me some bunnies at the Palms. I want to fuck them.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 4:41 pm13Ben

ok Jew. no more games with the fung-fing report. he’s there on Wednesdays. if you want clean bagels, go any day but Wednesday.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:07 pm14uppity cracka

um.

shut up, ben.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:09 pm15Cracka suffers from Penis envy

Ben and Jew should both shut up and get back to sucking each other’s cocks.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:11 pm16God

Well done My son. You have redeemed yourself in your Father’s eyes. We shall not rest until the Easter Bunny is no more.

BEHOLD! I have created a videos section at the top of the page.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:29 pm17Jesus Christ

Thanks Dad! I’ve only ever wanted to make You proud of Me.

And thanks everyone else for agreeing to kill bunnies.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:31 pm18Nun Ur Damned Bizness

fag
on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:33 pm19Jesus Christ

SILENCE WHORE!
on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:36 pm20Nun Ur Damned Bizness

No. Go slaughter Your bunnies, You big, bad fag.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:36 pm21Hume Cronyn

Easter bunnies make me want to throw up
on douches wearing pink and yellow
argyle sweater vests.
Chocolate, though, goes great with
swigs of laudunum and golf.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:44 pm22anne johnson

Correct, J.C.! The Easter bunny is a pagan symbol of … fertility. (Go figure.)

Now I think I’ll slink off to some corner of nowhere and hide under a lean-to.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:53 pm23Josh

Jesus,
do you hate cadbury caramel eggs? i think they are the only good thing about this pagan holiday,
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:04 pm24anne johnson

No Pagans, no Peeps. Think about a world without Peeps.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:07 pm25Nun Ur Damned Bizness

We have a “Peep” who works in the general vicinity. She is a bigger-boned woman who likes to wear a pink sweatsuit. It’s very unfortunate.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:13 pm26Josh

peeps suck. they are just marshmallows with gay sugar on the outside.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:14 pm27Josh

Anne,
Do pagans laugh at Christians on Easter and Christmas, knowing that the idiots Christians are really celebrating pagan holidays?
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:24 pm28uppity cracka

josh, pagans laugh at christians every day. and the rest of us laugh at all of them.

“hey, you guys ever hear of telescopes? right, telescopes. well, damnedest thing, turns out the moon isn’t a god.”
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:26 pm29uppity cracka

haha! nun got JebusFACED!!!
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:37 pm30anne johnson

#27

Josh: Yes. When you take away all the fun Pagan stuff from Christmas and Easter, all you have left is going to church. Whereas with us Pagans, hunting for colored eggs is part of the ceremony.

Said.

PS - Peeps are not faggy!
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:39 pm31anne johnson

Cracka: The Moon is too a god! The faeries told me.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:40 pm32Josh

anne,
if you do not think pink, purple and yellow marshmallows that sparkle are not gay, then perhaps you don’t know the meaning of the word.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:48 pm33uppity cracka

if she does not think they’re not gay what again?
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:49 pm34uppity cracka

the fucking mop room fairy?
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:55 pm35anne johnson

Everything that is pink, purple, yellow, and sparkly is not gay! Faeries are often those colors! But I’m going to stop talking about this, because I thought I had a box of Peeps downstairs, and TEENZILLA ATE THEM.

WANT PEEEEEEEPS!
on 06 Apr 2009 at 6:56 pm36anne johnson

Oh, Cracka. You and that fucking mop room fairy. Trying to get my teacher ass kicked onto the curb.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:05 pm37Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Any of you heathens seen a little film called Radio Flyer? Did that little boy fucking die?! I thought he actually flew away in his wagon. Oh the humanity.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:36 pm38Yo Yo Ma Ma

I like to put peeps in the microwave and set it to High.

If you listen closely, you can hear them screaming.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:39 pm39uppity cracka

yoyo just decided what i’m having for dinnner—cruelty!!!!
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:40 pm40anne johnson

#38: BEAST! GREAT SATAN!

I hope your wife makes you clean up the gooey mess.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:40 pm41anne johnson

#39: Cracka at least won’t have to worry about leaving a gooey mess behind.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:41 pm42uppity cracka

apparently,
bridgette’s having a hard time finding a bible verse about painting eggs all shades of pastel. i’m sure there’s one in there somewhere, fatty.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:42 pm43uppity cracka

why not, johnson?
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:48 pm44Yo Yo Ma Ma

Johnson’s been listening to Nun comment on your Johnson.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:50 pm45Yo Yo Ma Ma

Anne, the secret to microwavin peeps is to keep any eye on them and shut off the microwave just before they pop. You can repeat the process several times!

Practice in a friend’s microwave.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:51 pm46Yo Yo Ma Ma

My wife always cleans up the gooey mess, wink, wink.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:57 pm47uppity cracka

what do you mean?
on 06 Apr 2009 at 7:59 pm48Yo Yo Ma Ma

What, do you-dry fire?
on 06 Apr 2009 at 8:03 pm49Nun Ur Damned Bizness

You mean the gooey mess from when she has to pleasure herself?
on 06 Apr 2009 at 8:04 pm50Josh

did anyone else here have a science teacher who put peeps in a vacuum (And I don’t mean dust buster type vacuum)?

I asked my wife about this and she thought I was crazy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBPs38nkfpw
on 06 Apr 2009 at 8:07 pm51uppity cracka

bam!
nun with the old guy impotency FACE!!!
on 06 Apr 2009 at 8:43 pm52Tony Snow

Josh,

I have a daughter who puts bunny Peeps through a badge laminating press to create unfine art pieces. Sorry, no photos available.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 8:51 pm53anne johnson

PEEP TORTURE! STOP TORTURING PEEPS! JUST EAT THE DAMN THINGS!!!
on 06 Apr 2009 at 8:52 pm54anne johnson

Cracka didn’t get my gooey mess joke. I’m not going to go near a quickening until he understands all about gooey messes.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 8:52 pm55Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Tony doesn’t have a daughter. That is what he does with the Peeps but is too embarrassed to say so.

Embrace your inner retard, Tony. Cruelty to Peeps is nothing to be ashamed of.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 9:33 pm56anne johnson

Peep cruelty is a detestable thing, an abomination! I hope the bunch of you get cravings for those delightful little confections, only to find you’ve microwaved them to black cinders, laminated them, and sucked the air out of them so that what’s left breaks your teeth.

Anyone who would behave this way toward Peeps should not be allowed to contribute to the gene pool.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 9:35 pm57anne johnson

You want to kill a Peep? Go to the fucking henhouse, grab a feathered one, construct a proper pentagram, and perform a proper ceremony that will be pleasing to whatever retarded gods like stuff to be killed for them.

If no peeps can be found, a fatted calf always works.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 9:43 pm58Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Peeps are gross and nasty, Anne. It could be argued that anybody who thinks they’re tasty shouldn’t be contributing to the gene pool.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 9:44 pm59Bloodvork

I normally burn people in bunny suits when I see them anyway.

Especially if it’s not Easter.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 9:52 pm60anne johnson

Too late! I, Anne, who love me some Peeps, have contributed to the gene pool. Her name is Teenzilla.

Perhaps one could trace Teenzilla’s failings to maternal consumption of Peeps prior to the child’s birth.

Gosh, this has all the earmarks of a very interesting longitudinal study!

Bloodvork, I’m hot for you already, so save your matches, cutie!
on 06 Apr 2009 at 10:51 pm61God

I have awarded Divine Comment of the Day.

I have also added all your asinine videos to the videos page.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 11:22 pm62anne johnson

God is great,
God is good,
However, better gods
Are made from wood.
on 06 Apr 2009 at 11:23 pm63anne johnson

Detroit is such a peaceful city that they have time to take care of everything.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090405/ap_on_re_us/odd_pillow_fight_prevented
on 07 Apr 2009 at 2:28 am64Hume Cronyn

My girlfriend’s tiny dog farted.
oh wait
That was Anne talking about God.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 7:13 am65Tony Snow

More fun with Peeps …

http://eatenbyducks.blogspot.com/2009/03/pink-pickled-peep.html
on 07 Apr 2009 at 12:03 pm66okijohn

I like to roast peeps in a fire, just like boring regular marshmallows. Peeps are more fun to roast, because I can imagine that they’re real critters…especially the bunny ones. I don’t give a shit which color they are, they all toast nicely.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 1:23 pm67Yo Yo Ma Ma

Okijohn, do you spear them through the eye, or the more traditional way, up the anal apeture?
on 07 Apr 2009 at 2:14 pm68Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Has anybody bought a Cadbury Cream Egg this year? They’re fucking smaller than they were previously. The economy smited Cadbury Cream Eggs and God has forsaken us!!
on 07 Apr 2009 at 3:38 pm69uppity cracka

ha! 69 again!

that’s worth multiple quickenings because it’s a number about sex!
on 07 Apr 2009 at 3:53 pm70Yo Yo Ma Ma

Josh and Yo Yo talk about Peeps
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=2009040711445837
on 07 Apr 2009 at 3:58 pm71Yo Yo Ma Ma

Cracka, have you got enough quickenings to piss standing up?
on 07 Apr 2009 at 4:05 pm72Yo Yo Ma Ma

Which is worse, being Catholic and gay, or a Jehovah’s Wintess and a vampire?
on 07 Apr 2009 at 4:21 pm73Yo Yo Ma Ma

Wintess=Witness
on 07 Apr 2009 at 4:43 pm74Ben

Hmm..good question. I’m gonna have to go with Vampire Jehovah’s Witness.

That’s so gay!

ugh…I hate myself.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 4:48 pm75Yo Yo Ma Ma

Look on the bright side, Ben. Until cracka gets some more quickenings, you are more well-hung than him

Lunch: Homemade bread, lightly toasted, with locally made butter and homemade strawberry jam.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 4:49 pm76Ben

Of course I’m more hung than Cracka!

My penis is 4 inches long!
on 07 Apr 2009 at 4:49 pm77Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I thought it was common knowledge and widely understood that Ben has no penis and no hope for ever having one.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:00 pm78Bridgette

I actually agree that the Easter “Bunny” has no place as part of Easter. It is a pagan belief and should be shunned by Christians.

“Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 6:8-11

That being said impersonating Jesus like this is reprehensable.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:03 pm79Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Your face is reprehensible. Learn how to spell you fucking twit.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:05 pm80uppity cracka

nun beat me to the spellFACE.

godbot is a fucking twit.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:07 pm81uppity cracka

yoyo-definitely gay catholic. if you’re a j-dub and a vampire at least you get to kill people.

no, still have to sit down. but i’m on my way to full penis restoration. i have to be. i try so hard.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:08 pm82Anna

I do like the fork idea, but how about electric shocks?
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:09 pm83uppity cracka

ooh, i bet the easter bunny would feel pretty lonely if the christians “shunned” him…i shudder to think of it. bridgette, have you seen your movie?
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:10 pm84uppity cracka

wait a minute. who’s anna?

if you’re going to post here you have to end your first ten posts with either:

shut up, ben.
bridgette is fat.
or
nun’s a whore.

said.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:11 pm85Yo Yo Ma Ma

Electrified forks!
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:11 pm86Yo Yo Ma Ma

#84: supported.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:14 pm87Yo Yo Ma Ma

Also, you have to go to http://www.xtranormal.com and make some 3d animations for God’s amusement.

If you can incorporate ’shut up, ben’, ‘bridgette is fat’ and ‘nun’s a whore’ into your movie, you are golden.

And remember, ‘ben’ is not capitalized.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:15 pm88The L woman

Jesus,

I always loved you.
Even when you were that faggy boy, I loved you.
Now, hating the Easter is the best thing you could ever tell us.
On sunday, I was buying a chocolat egg to my mother and my girl and I heard two stupid fat girls asking each other what Easter holiday is all about.
Can you believe it??? I couldn’t, I told them the meaning of Easter and I thought to myself “I hope God and Jesus smite them today”.
Did you smite those stupid fat illiterates???
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:17 pm89Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Don’t listen to Yo and Cracka, Anna. They’re both stupid men. Yo is too old to remember how to use his penis and Cracka sports a little nubbin that he likes to call his cock. You can end your posts with one of those but it is not required.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:17 pm90Yo Yo Ma Ma

Did Bridgette make this?
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090407120657400
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:20 pm91Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I doubt it Yo. That person seems to believe that God is love and Bridgette thinks it’s all about brimstone and hellfire.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:21 pm92Yo Yo Ma Ma

Cracka, is Nun slamming us?
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:23 pm93Yo Yo Ma Ma

That’s true. I wish Bridgette would make a film (if she was smart enough) and post it, so we could remix it.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:28 pm94Bei Shen

Dear God,

You sucked 3 hours out of my life yesterday with that Watchmen shit. That’s was totally U N C O O L.

Thought you should know.

Bei
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:38 pm95Yo Yo Ma Ma

I wish I’d made this movie:
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20080902134442604
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:46 pm96Yo Yo Ma Ma

A remix, for Bridgette
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090407134343772
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:50 pm97Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I don’t know how that site works, Yo but usually it’s considered bad form to take somebody else’s video.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 5:53 pm98anne johnson

I have more bad news for Bridgette.

Where does the name “Easter” come from?

“Easter” is the name of an ancient Goddess of Spring. The Christians stole Her name and Her holiday.

Stupid Christians couldn’t even give their best holiday a new name.

Hey, Bridgette. We want our holiday back! And you should change your name to Mary or Martha, cuz you be named Pagan, yo.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:01 pm99Yo Yo Ma Ma

Nun the original is still out there (like the truth), so I don’t feel to bad.

Anne, didn’t the Xians do that with most holidays? Christmas overlaid Saturnalia, Halloween replaced the pagan harvest festival of Samhain, etc.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:05 pm100Yo Yo Ma Ma

Why is it that the truly brilliant are doomed to a life of obscurity, surrounded by a sea of mediocrity, only to end up covered in sores in a pool of their own filth?

Oh well, the beat goes on.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:06 pm101anne johnson

Even Groundhog Day is Pagan! ALL HAIL PAGANS!!!
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:07 pm102anne johnson

If God lets that stand, I will be fuckin amazed.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:07 pm103Yo Yo Ma Ma

Uh-oh, Anne got the quickening! Cracka, where are you?
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:08 pm104Yo Yo Ma Ma

supported.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:08 pm105anne johnson

I give Cracka my quickening in payment for his services in “Dead Fish.” On God’s Divine Videos page.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:36 pm106Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I’ll just start calling you Carlos Mencia, Yo… err… I mean Carlos.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:43 pm107anne johnson

Nun, it’s okay with me if you post the video of me and Teenzilla on God’s Divine Video page, if you want.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:48 pm108Yo Yo Ma Ma

Ha ha! Just keep that asshole Joe Rogan away from me!
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:48 pm109Nun Ur Damned Bizness

That wasn’t my video, Anne. I actually thought it was there until you pointed out that it wasn’t. I think it was Yo’s video.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 6:50 pm110Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Carloseses get what they got comin’ to them when Joe Rogan shows up.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 7:01 pm111Yo Yo Ma Ma

Where is cracka? Licking his balls because he missed the quickening?
on 07 Apr 2009 at 7:07 pm112anne johnson

#110 - I said cracka can have the quickening. I’ll try for the next one too if he says he believes in unicorns.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 7:22 pm113Josh

#110: licking Ben’s balls.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 7:42 pm114Nun Ur Damned Bizness

#112: fucking gross, man
on 07 Apr 2009 at 8:00 pm115anne johnson

#112: no more gross than some of the atrocities perpetrated on Peeps.

I wonder if Bridgette allows her kids to have Easter baskets?
on 07 Apr 2009 at 8:07 pm116Nun Ur Damned Bizness

#114: Bridgette is gross.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 8:13 pm117anne johnson

#115: supported
on 07 Apr 2009 at 8:21 pm118Ben

#1-#116: said
on 07 Apr 2009 at 8:50 pm119anne johnson

YOU FORGOT TO INSULT YOURSELF AGAIN! I SEE A SMITE COMING ON!!!!!
on 07 Apr 2009 at 9:09 pm120anne johnson

Yo Yo, quit reading Kafka and get back to work.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 9:11 pm121Yo Yo Ma Ma

Sorry anne, I, I dunno what came over me. For awhile I felt like I was turning into a man-sized cockroach.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 9:13 pm122Yo Yo Ma Ma

I’m thinking of becoming a Wiccan, or a Druid. I’ve heard about their cult jamborees. It’s an international
goon gathering. Lots of howling and drinking… Orgiastic
worship of heathen idols… Great looking chicks in diaphanous robes…
on 07 Apr 2009 at 9:49 pm123Hume Cronyn

Are those the same dipshits that attend burning man
in the desert?
on 07 Apr 2009 at 9:59 pm124anne johnson

Well, Yo, you got part of that right. In my experience, there aren’t any more or fewer great looking chicks in Wicca and Druidism than there are in a mega-church.

Instead of becoming a Druid, you might want to save your money, fly to Florida, and spend a week on South Beach.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 10:00 pm125anne johnson

I wouldn’t know from burning man, Hume darling, but I do know a dipshit.

Yo, if you’re really having a bad day, I’m sorry to hear it.
on 07 Apr 2009 at 10:17 pm126Hume Cronyn

I don’t question at all that you’re familiar
with dipshits, Anne.
You married one and produced another.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 12:16 am127Alverant

Boy Jesus. It’s too bad your early mind-slave were such fucking morons. They couldn’t get the day of your plagurized zombification right. So you had to steal the pagan’s day of renewal and claim it for yourself. Bunnies and eggs were symbols for rebirth long before you were dreamed up.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 12:55 am128Jesus Christ

I have awarded Divine Comment of the Day.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 3:34 am129Josh

anne was de-quickened! Ha!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 1:12 pm130Yo Yo Ma Ma

Thank You, Jesus!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 1:15 pm131Yo Yo Ma Ma

Wow, not only did I get Divine Comment of the Day, I also got the quickening! Praise Him!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:10 pm132Jesus Christ

Bless you, Yo Yo.

Hey Alverant, how about you go fuck yourself? I never plagiarized anything in My life, including My death. Bunnies and eggs are stupid and lame, and I fucking rock.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:15 pm133uppity cracka

what jesus meant isn’t “i fucking rock”, no, he meant “i love sucking cock.” he’s kind of gay for dicks.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:15 pm134Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Jesus,

Maybe You’re noble and honest but Your followers are not, they’re liars and thievers. They make You look bad. You really should consider smiting them all.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:25 pm135Jesus Christ

FUCK YOU CRACKER! You wish you had a dick. If My Dad didn’t love you so much, you’d be fucking dead, bitch.

Nun - Yes, I am noble and honest. Not all My sheeple are liars and thieves, it’s just that a few black sheeple make the whole flocking flock look bad. I always smite the bad ones.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:29 pm136Nun Ur Damned Bizness

That’s not very nice to call out Your darkies like that, Jesus. They can’t help that they were born black and dishonest.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:31 pm137uppity cracka

yeah, if you didn’t mark them with that tainted murderer skin maybe they’d be decent and respectable like bridgette and all the other fat, stupid rednecks that worship your queer ass.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:38 pm138Jesus Christ

No! I didn’t mean it that way. I love colored people. I meant it as a metaphor for the few rotten figs that make a whole fig tree seem evil.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:42 pm139Nun Ur Damned Bizness

You and Your damned metaphors. Don’t You know that we are not but stupid mortals who become quite confused when You use metaphors and spout Your parables?

Figs are evil.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:45 pm140Jesus Christ

Yes, you are stupid. It is very hard for Me to speak down at your level.

said.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:52 pm141Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Hey!! I’m not so stupid that I don’t understand that You just called me stupid!! Jesus just hurt my feelings and made me cry.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:52 pm142Jesus Christ

I was speaking in parable again, I didn’t mean you. I meant YOU, as in all of you. It doesn’t carry as much power against you that way.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 4:57 pm143Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Yay!! Jesus loves me! I think.

Fucking parables.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 5:00 pm144Josh

Jesus loves black people for the same reason Nun does; big black dick.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 5:03 pm145uppity cracka

so, what does any of this have to do with a mustard seed? also, according to frontline, you weren’t a carpenter but more of a contractor and you had to learn greek to do business with the large building firms that operated in the region building some city that i forgot the name of…fucking stupid investigative journalists. next thing you know, we’ll find out that you’re still dead.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 5:04 pm146uppity cracka

josh-144-

jesusisgayFACE!!!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 5:43 pm147Jesus Christ

I’M. NOT. GAY!!!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 5:53 pm148uppity cracka

patient-50 yr old male, white, bald, gut.

starts out with, “sup, bro.” ends with, “we golden? coolio, man. laters.”

wow. poor fucking guy.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 5:55 pm149God

I have made another video, for My Divine Hate Post on Foreskins.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 5:58 pm150uppity cracka

i thought he was gonna try to fist-bump me. yikes.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 6:16 pm151Nun Ur Damned Bizness

He won’t stop, Jesus. Just like he won’t stop calling me a whore even though I AM NOT A WHORE!! If it makes You feel any better, J-Man, he’s simply projecting on account of he don’t got a penis and all.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 6:18 pm152Josh

check this out
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090408141706603
on 08 Apr 2009 at 6:30 pm153uppity cracka

damn you, josh. jesus is not gay!!!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 6:39 pm154anne johnson

Whether or not Jesus is gay (which we don’t know b/c the Bible doesn’t tell us), the video is !

Here’s Teenzilla’s most recent favorite, from SNL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NisCkxU544c
on 08 Apr 2009 at 6:43 pm155anne johnson

This is a true story. One day Mr. Johnson and I were driving somewhere, and we saw a contractor van and — no joke — it was JESUS CARPENTRY.

I said to Mr. Johnson: “I guess Jesus went back to his day job.”
on 08 Apr 2009 at 6:45 pm156Josh

Anne,
Remember when Saturday Night Live was actually shot live on Saturday night? Seems so long ago.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 6:53 pm157anne johnson

Josh, recall I’m a geezer. I can remember watching the first season, live. I think I was in high school.

Don’t tell Nun, but the age on my Facebook is actually my sister’s birthday! I’m a little older than I look.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:00 pm158Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Mother fucker!! Pagans fucking lie.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:04 pm159uppity cracka

they have no reason not to. no spiritual consequences means no fear based morality, remember? don’t you pay attention to any of the stupid things bridgette says. modify your behavior or i will make you suffer!!!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:07 pm160Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Cracka said: “modify your behavior or i will make you suffer!!!”

Hmph… how you going to do that? Smack me with your non-existent cock?
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:12 pm161Yo Yo Ma Ma

Penis smack smackdown!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:16 pm162uppity cracka

my non-existent cock of justice will smack you so hard your soul will be saved!!!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:19 pm163Nun Ur Damned Bizness

So sayeth the village idiot who wasn’t quite bright enough to realize you can’t smack something with something that does not exist.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:20 pm164anne johnson

Don’t be mad, Nun! It’s only a few years!

Cracka’s right. I lie about everything, because nothing matters. There’s no other reason in the world to do the right thing, except so you can get into heaven. If you don’t believe in heaven, you never have to do the right thing!

I’ve gotta go. Teenzilla needs a new bottle of Jack.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:21 pm165anne johnson

If something gets smacked by something that doesn’t exist, does the first something actually feel better after being smacked?

Whoa. The Brazillians would not EVEN understand this one.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:29 pm166Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I was doing your vulture dance in the store today and amusing my burro, Anne.

I have to go buy some smack for my loser kid.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:30 pm167Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Having no consequences for bad behavior makes my life so fun and interesting.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:34 pm168uppity cracka

hmm…if something doesn’t exist you’re saying i can’t use it to smack you in the face? now, let’s just say, for funsies, that your face doesn’t exist. can i smack your imaginary face with my imaginary cock of justice?

it’s called tough love.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:36 pm169uppity cracka

you’re right about the consequences. when you erase imaginary consequences like hell and jebus tears with real consequences like people suffering and emotional pain it makes life so much easier because everyone knows that people and feelings don’t matter!

shut up, ben.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:48 pm170Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I can’t wait till I get my kid strung out on heroin!! It makes me giddy with glee!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:48 pm171Yo Yo Ma Ma

Wow, we’re getting all metaphysical today!

I helped the lipstick lesbian and the section secretary rearrange furniture in the Blue meeting room this afternoon. When done, she (lipstick) collapsed onto a table. I offered to give her CPR, she got an alarmed look on her face . I told her I’d do compressions, and the secretary can do the mouth to mouth. The secretary got an alarmed look on her face!

Special times, special times.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:00 pm172Nun Ur Damned Bizness

God,

Why did You make this woman a queen when she clearly couldn’t handle the pressure? Also, did You really turn her into the anti-christ because she sucked at being a queen?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30109090/
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:06 pm173Yo Yo Ma Ma

That sucks. I wish there was more, and reliable, testing for crazies.

Once someone is found crazy, they should lose reproductive rights. if they are really crazy, lock them up!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:09 pm174uppity cracka

do you ever read newspaper stories from your hometowns and think, “that’s why i moved the fuck out of that place.”?

http://www.duluthnewstribune.com/event/article/id/117148/

shut up, ben.
the rest of you may fuck off at your leisure.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:10 pm175Burro

This guy just pushed geekdom to another realm…

http://io9.com/5202751/man-becomes-cyborg-for-the-sake-of-art
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:12 pm176Yo Yo Ma Ma

Cracka, looks like Ritchie Ritch ‘fell’ down the stairs at the police station. A lot.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:13 pm177Yo Yo Ma Ma

Cracka, you from Duluth?
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:16 pm178Yo Yo Ma Ma

Burro, that was a scary picture! I have never had an LED implanted in my eye, however, I had several Army boots implanted on my backside whilst in Basic Training.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:25 pm179anne johnson

#172: That queen is classic bipolar. My mom was bipolar, and if she had owned a gun I wouldn’t be sitting here today. The involuntary commitment laws are so skewed in favor of the nutcase that you’re pretty much guaranteed fabulous murder-suicides.

Nice to see you, Burro! Be good to your Nun.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:26 pm180anne johnson

#177: Yo Yo, I think Cracka pretty much admitted to being from Duluth. What a retarded thing to do! He could have said he was from Kankakee, and we would still have respected him a little.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:31 pm181Nun Ur Damned Bizness

My sweet, sweet, fagala burro.

My mom isn’t bipolar but I’m still surprised I’m sitting here.

As for the failed queen… I feel bad for her and her son. The woman needed help and God put too much pressure on her. There have been times when I was really sure that my son would be better off without me, you know, when I start thinking that I might be responsible for him being a loser but then I remember that he’s half black and I realize it’s not my fault at all. It’s his monkey father’s fault.
.
.
.
This will confuse Cracka as I have combined serious thought with “joke-bending”… heheh.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:32 pm182Burro

Thanks anne. I am always good to my Nun, she rubs her titties on me from time to time. She had me lauging so hard at the store, she was pretending to do your chicken dance. She’s a riot!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:36 pm183anne johnson

I. AM. NOT. A. CHICKEN.

Vulture. VULTURE!

Okay, I’ll settle for BUZZARD, if you must.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:37 pm184Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Holy fucking shit!! Did Kathy Griffin steal somebody’s body??

http://www.ok-magazine.com/news/view/13222
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:37 pm185Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I wish my burro didn’t spell like Bridgette.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:37 pm186Yo Yo Ma Ma

Store? Nun, I thought you worked for a construction outfit.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:39 pm187Nun Ur Damned Bizness

That’s actually a stupid question, Yo. You know people go to the store to like buy stuff and shit, right?
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:47 pm188Burro

Some of us actually go to the store to purchase food yo. I am sure you have a nurse bring you yours.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:53 pm189Yo Yo Ma Ma

So, you and your burro go to a store and dance?

Wow, drugs do fuck you up.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:54 pm190Nun Ur Damned Bizness

We’re working so we’re not drugged at the moment. It’s easy for us, Yo. We won’t throw a hip by dancing so I understand why you’d be hesitant to do that yourself.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:55 pm191anne johnson

Nun, if you want to rent that vulture costume, it comes from the Akron Costume Supply Company in Akron, OH. It’s $85 for one day, which ain’t bad, but the postage is $115 cuz it weighs almost 20 pounds and has to be shipped fragile.

(The East Coast Vulture Festival paid for my use of it!)

Burro, if you missed it, I come in at 1:52 in the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAc6rpkFdEM
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:56 pm192anne johnson

God is telling me to murder the cute little girls playing outside next door. But guess what? I AIN’T FUCKIN NUTS, GOD! I DON’T KILL LITTLE GIRLS!!!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 8:57 pm193anne johnson

Another quickening approaches, Yo Yo. Are you going to try to get a Daily Double by saying something heart-wrenching that God will find amusing?
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:00 pm194Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I’ll kill those little girls, Anne. I don’t have to worry about consequences.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:02 pm195Burro

Anne, Nun made SURE I saw it! I almost peed I was laughing so hard.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:03 pm196Yo Yo Ma Ma

Damn, too much pressure, Anne! I could talk about trudging around the house with my walker, naked, and sometimes my penis-
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:04 pm197Josh

nun #184, kathy had tons of surgery and is not afraid to admit it
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:05 pm198Josh

there
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:05 pm199Josh

can be
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:05 pm200Burro

We were just laughing again, Anne
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:06 pm201Josh

only one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:06 pm202Josh

damn you burro!!!! you pulled a me!
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:06 pm203Nun Ur Damned Bizness

HAHA!! You go burro with your quickening thievery. I want to see your penis now.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:09 pm204Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Josh,

The plastic surgery explains the somewhat pleasant look of Kathy’s face but I think the stealing of some hot chick’s body is what explains her new body. I actually like Kathy Griffin but she wronged my burro.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:09 pm205Burro

HOLY SHIT! It was big before, but now, Oh my Him! It’s Mandingo time…only not so black.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:10 pm206Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I’m strangely attracted to you right now, Burro. Wanna fuck?
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:11 pm207Burro

K
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:24 pm208Josh

kathy had lipo

this is funny,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW_MoEe5ryQ
on 08 Apr 2009 at 9:40 pm209Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Whatever happened to fag-brad? I went to his site and saw that he’s still doing that faggy comic.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 10:03 pm210anne johnson

Hey, Burro! Wow! You got a quickening! That’s kind of like buying a fur coat for a beaver — I’ve never seen a burro that needed more schlong.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 10:05 pm211anne johnson

I don’t know about fag-brad. This kitchen is pretty hot. Maybe he couldn’t take the heat.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 10:07 pm212anne johnson

That’s why you’ve got to admire Bridgette. She comes here and leaves a comment, we torch the hell out of her, and she comes back again. Her village must be so proud of her! Blue ribbon idiot at the state fair, five years in a row! And that’s West Virginia, a state dotted thickly with villages.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 10:50 pm213Nun Ur Damned Bizness

and idiots.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 11:01 pm214anne johnson

I am such a failure. I’m a fucking horrible Pagan.

How did I raise an older daughter who’s on the dean’s fucking list at her college, who doesn’t drink or smoke or screw around, who turns in all her work on time and takes summer jobs to help pay for her tuition? SHIT!

We’re BEGGING for more financial aid to keep this disappointing youngster in college!

The only thing good I can say about her is that she totaled my car. But even that got fucked. It was her fault, but the guy who hit her was some foreigner who drove away, cursing her in some weird language. I guess he was probably illegal.

I TOLD THIS KID TO FUCK UP HER LIFE, AND SHE GETS ON THE DEAN’S LIST? FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
on 08 Apr 2009 at 11:02 pm215anne johnson

I’m working much harder to ruin Teenzilla. Because that’s what Pagans are supposed to do, right?
on 08 Apr 2009 at 11:26 pm216anne johnson

I’m giving up being a Druid. We don’t have any Satan to tempt our kids to fuck up.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 1:00 am217Burro

#210: I agree Ann. I thought of returning it to those who need it, but thought otherwise. Let the children sufffer. Perhaps, anne, you could sacrifice her to your tree loving and unicorn fucking “gods”. Just a thought.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 2:33 am218Josh

anne,
your gods fuck unicorns?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:01 am219anne johnson

How would I know what my gods do? There’s no book about them! (That’s why I like them so much.)
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:04 am220Hume Cronyn

God: Please give Anne leprosy so her hands will fall off
and she’ll be unable to post on Your blog.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:54 am221Josh

hume,
step into the 21st century, with voice recognition software you do not need hands to type on a computer, shit you don’t even need to see. I know a blind guy who runs his own internet radio station (although the content sucks); he works the boards, takes calls, everything.

Anne,
Wait, there is no book or record? So basically people are just making shit up? That’s so John Smith. “Um yeah I lost that first divine text, but ummmmm, the angel came again and he sorta said the same thing. Write this down.”
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:25 am222Hume Cronyn

What are these softwares you speak of, josh?
Like the delicious pureed spinach I’m drinking right now?
Please send an explanation over this world wide webbed intenet.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:33 am223Lyds

I like to roast peeps and put them in smores.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 12:40 pm224uppity cracka

that’s not nice, lyds.

i told you a-holes i was from duluth a long, long time ago. besides the weather, it ain’t bad. it’s filled with chiba smoking hippies, lots of bluegrass bands and jam bands (if you like that sort of lame thing), there’s plenty of pagans. it’s just so incredibly fucking cold.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 1:40 pm225Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Nobody cares where you’re from, Cracka. That’s why they didn’t remember.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 2:01 pm226Anonymous

Anne at school:

If my hads fell off, I would type with my tongue.

Druids did not write anything down, they did all their law, business, religion, from memory and taught by oral transmission. So yes, much of modern Druidism is based on piecing together what is known about the ancient gods and faeries from old poems and more recent faerie sightings.

I would rather have it that way than believe in a book that says being gay is an abomination, and slavery is a good thing. It’s called CHANGING WITH THE TIMES.

Bluegrass bands in Duluth? What, all the hillbillies sought out colder weather? WTF?

Up yours, hume. Seriously.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 2:06 pm227Nun Ur Damned Bizness

heheh… Anne said “oral”… heheh.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 2:14 pm228uppity cracka

HAHA!

she also said “recent faerie sightings”

nun, your sarcasm often just sounds mean, not necessarily funny. just cliched sarcasm with some meanness. do you find that entertaining? you’re not hurting my little feeling or anything, so don’t get all pleased with yourself, but i’m just saying. maybe you should try being funny instead of just a bitch. then, MAYBE PEOPLE WILL STOP CALLING YOU A WHORE, YOU WHORE!!!!
on 09 Apr 2009 at 2:16 pm229uppity cracka

johnson,
the hippies love duluth. the hippies love bluegrass. duluth is filled with hippies who love bluegrass. it’s counterintuitive, i know. i had to get the fuck away from all those hippies and all that stupid love. gross.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 2:25 pm230Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Why should people care where you’re from, Cracka? If you really think me saying that is mean then you must think people should care. Why should they? Frankly, if people remembered some obscure comment you made months ago about where you were born, I would think that was weird and maybe a little obsessive.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:15 pm231uppity cracka

i’m not saying anyone should give a shit. i just mentioned off-handedly that i previously mentioned something before…off-handedly. not that big a deal. yoyo’s wife is french canadian. you have a southern baptist family of bigots. josh is a fat, retarded asian child. i’ve mentioned the cold abyss of duluth, minnesota like 8 times. my point is, some days you sound pretty bitchy for no apparent reason.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:18 pm232uppity cracka

yeah, previously AND before.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:21 pm233uppity cracka

then again, the only way to convey the intended tone on these interwebs is to use a dumb ol’ emoticon, so often the tonality of a comment or email or text is inferred by the reader based on their emotions or preconceptions. what i’m saying is, maybe i’m having a shitty day at work and read bitchiness into your comment. who knows? who cares? you’re still a whore.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:25 pm234Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Some days you seem like a pussy for no apparent reason. You also seem to remember a lot more about the posters here than I do. Maybe it’s rude but the private information that people say here, I don’t pay a lot of attention to.

And you’re an idiot if you think I’m bitchy for no apparent reason… HELLOOOO!! I’m a female with a vagina and God hates my kind. I think that’s reason enough to be bitchy every Him Damned day.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:29 pm235Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I wonder how God feels about so many of His followers being whiners who get their feelings hurt on a satirical fucking blog.

I’m not singling you out, Cracka. You at least realize that the reader perceives the tone of what is written but I am curious how anybody can take anything here seriously. Sometimes, the fucking cry-baby pussies make me not want to post here.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:32 pm236uppity cracka

i’m sorry that my ability to retain simple bits of information without straining my brain to the point of hemorrhagic encephalitis is so mysterious to you that you instinctively reject it as a personality flaw.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:34 pm237uppity cracka

you missed this part of my post then:

“you’re not hurting my little feeling or anything, so don’t get all pleased with yourself, ”

i don’t think my history on this site has shown me to be thin-skinned.

anyhoo, who’s got something funny to say. links? videos? pictures of hemorrhagic encephalitis?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:36 pm238uppity cracka

http://www.scielo.br/img/revistas/anp/v62n1/a24fig02.gif
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:38 pm239Josh

Jesus H Christ, when did this blog turn to Gay Fest 2009 and get all about “you hurt my feelings”.

Cracka you’re turning into a fag, of all people. It makes me sad. Is it really you cracka or did curtis come back and use your email account?

Isn’t Yoyo’s wife like a native amaerican, or is that cracka? I get my white people confused. Nun is a pagan right? and Anne has titties she flashes when she is drunk off a box of Tove Cab wine
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:42 pm240Josh

now these mofos are bat shit crazy:
http://www.heavy.com/video/67197#/channel/293325
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:42 pm241Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I don’t see it as a personality flaw, Cracka. I didn’t even imply that. I don’t remember the private things because it’s not really my business and like I said, maybe that’s rude.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:43 pm242ben

HA-HA! YOU GUYS ARE FAGS!

Did anybody see South Park last night?? IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! They ripped Carlos Mencia a new asshole.

I could use a new asshole myself.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:45 pm243Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Josh said: “Jesus H Christ, when did this blog turn to Gay Fest 2009 and get all about “you hurt my feelings”.”

No shit. Not even Jesus is that faggy and He’s pretty faggy. Thank Him for you, Josh, you crazy retard, you.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:47 pm244Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I missed it, Ben but I’ll check it out online. Carlos Mencia deserves shit like that. Plagiarism is not cool.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:56 pm245ben

it was fucking great! so great. they also made fun of Kanye West.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:57 pm246uppity cracka

Him dammit! i don’t have any feelings to hurt. my point was simple and is now blown out of proportion: some of nun’s posts sound like she’s TRYING to be mean. so, i was like (or meant to be like), “hey, that’s not funny, you just sound like a bitch.” maybe i’m not reading the humor in some of her sarcasm. josh, of all people, should get what i’m saying. for instance, post 239, sarcastic, funny and just a hint of meanness. fuck. now, people are accusing me of having some sort of emotional, gooey center. shut up, ben. said.

carlos mencia is such a wanker.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:58 pm247ben

cracka, why you get you hurt feelings?

You snooty crab-cake eater!

said.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:58 pm248Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Anne,

Why are Philly fans so classless?

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Hey-Philly-booing-Adam-Eaton-and-his-ring-Belo?urn=mlb,154587
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:00 pm249uppity cracka

because they’re from philadelphia.

ben, you forgot to insult yourself.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:04 pm250Josh

cracka I do get what you mean, but it’s funnier if I egg Nun on.
How gay would it be for me to say, “Nun you’re trying to be funny by being mean, but you’re doing it wrong and it just comes off as mean and unfunny” That’s totally fagatronic!!! plus I want to see Nun’s tits, I’m totally trying to internet hit that. ATL+CTRL+DEL style.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:05 pm251Josh

where’s Yo Yo? he’s like all our dads
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:06 pm252uppity cracka

I. DO. NOT. HAVE. A. PENI—FEELINGS!!!

DAMNIT!
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:07 pm253Nun Ur Damned Bizness

You’re all just a bunch of pansy fags. I feel bad for God.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:07 pm254uppity cracka

yeah, whenever we need a mediator yoyo starts telling us a story from his days in the hundred years war and we all forget what we were griping about. then he gives me $20 and the car keys and a stern warning about curfew.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:10 pm255Josh

hey Nun,
my kids is about 4 months old now and his new thing is screaming as loud as he can in the middle of the night, all while he is asleep. I’m so fucking tired I don’t know what to do.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:11 pm256uppity cracka

josh is right. i was fagatronic for a minute there. as self punishment for my momentary lapse into fagdom i will insult myself as if i were unfortunate enough to be born a ben.

ahem**

i’m a fag.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:12 pm257Josh

#253 Nun,
this is the part I egg Cracka on! Jesus christ, it’s all shits and giggles here. I think I’ve said that like 50 times. it’s the internet, because someone calls you a fag here, does not make you one. however, when someone posts those pics of Ben and his adventure with the “Black Hammer”, well that will make him a fag
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:13 pm258uppity cracka

you should try it, jesus. it will liberate you. repeat after cracka:

i am a fag.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:13 pm259The L Woman

# 171

LOL

That was funny!
I wish I was there to watch that scene.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:17 pm260uppity cracka

are you coming to us from the distant past, L? 171 was like a month ago.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:22 pm261The L Woman

I’ve been busier than ever.
I read it today.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:24 pm262uppity cracka

i didn’t realize the stinky, hairy lesbian business was so lucrative.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:25 pm263uppity cracka

by all means, take a vacation, shave your pits. you know, “me time”.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:26 pm264The L Woman

I didn’t realize you’re so funny!
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:29 pm265The L Woman

Nun must have hurted your feelings pretty bad
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:31 pm266uppity cracka

she dug deep enough to loosen up my funny bone. you’re in for it.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:48 pm267Hume Cronyn

Crazy fucks, the lot of ya.
Get back to work.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 4:54 pm268Josh

just watched south park!!!! Ha ha! They killed Mencia and Kanye. Can’t wait to see how those two fire back.

Cracka,
you’re a mother fucking gay fish!!!!!
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:14 pm269uppity cracka

kanye will talk about how kanye could make a better cartoon just by concentrating while kanye farts. mencia will fire back by selling out concert halls to dumb people with defective senses of humor.

i am a motherfucking gay fish. fish don’t come any motherfucking gayer than me.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:26 pm270uppity cracka

i’m just like ben, only worse because i have no penis.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:37 pm271The L Woman

You know Cracka, it’s sad to think you are dickless.
Men are so proud of their penis, how long and how thick they are.
What are you proud of?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:40 pm272anne johnson

Phillies fans are totally retarded. They give you an IQ test before you enter the ballpark. If you score higher than chimp, your ticket is confiscated and you have to go back to your gay tailgate party with the gay sausages and the gay grill and the retarded cooler of cheap beer.

Philly does not deserve a World Series.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:44 pm273uppity cracka

i’m proud of my emotionally receptive vagina. even though it queefs like a giraffe stuffed with whipped cream when my feelings get hurt.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:44 pm274uppity cracka

i have a gassy vagina.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:44 pm275anne johnson

So long, pukes. I’m going to West Virginia. Really. I’m gonna visit my fundie sister. We’re going to a Good Friday “pageant” that will feature Jesus on the cross. And an altar call.

Suddenly I feel like channeling my inner Phillies fan.

Bridgette, I will be at the Faith Christian Fellowship on Route 68 in Williamsport, MD. If you live in the Panhandle, it’s right across the river from Martinsburg.

Hee Haw! Hurl snowballs at Jesus!
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:47 pm276uppity cracka

i wish they made beano for vaginas. nun’s vagina acid refluxed all over my face. don’t ask me what kind of crazy yeti-seeking expedition i was on, but let’s just say they don’t make ski goggles the way they used to.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:49 pm277uppity cracka

johnson, when they do the altar call go up and really get into it. raise your theatrical skills a little bit from the vulture dance. i’m talking casting out of demons, rending of garments, “your mother sucks cocks in hell!”-the whole thing.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:52 pm278The L Woman

Cracka - sometimes you’re disgusting.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:53 pm279The L Woman

Hey Anne, will you make the Vulture dance there?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 5:56 pm280uppity cracka

THANKS, L!!!!

sometimes you’re disgusting, too! mostly when you rythmically grind your slimy labia against your blubbery girlfriend’s slimy labia. it’s like two slugs french kissing.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:04 pm281uppity cracka

gimme back dat filet-o-fish!
gimme dat fish!

french my cunt,
s’il vous plait.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:07 pm282The L Woman

Thanks Cracka!
BTW we married last month.
Now tell me… do you grind your gassy vagina against your poor wife’s vagina?
Please, don’t tell me you have a reflux on her face.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:13 pm283uppity cracka

gassyvaginaFACE!

no, my poor wife doesn’t have to live in the imaginary world of the WWWs. so my gunt-hole doesn’t burp on her face very often.

congratulations on the lifelong commitment to sleep with one person!!! until one of you dies and by that point you’re so old no one else will fuck you anyway!!! woohooo!!!!

is that legal in brazil?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:14 pm284The L Woman

Cracka, are u still there? Where is everybody?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:17 pm285Josh

must be busy at your job L woman, Lerbman is missing just when you went missing. hmmmmm
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:19 pm286The L Woman

Not exactly.
The name is Civil Partnership. It give us the same duties and rights just like in marriage.
They just changed the name to “Civil Partnership” to don’t offend the religious people.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:23 pm287The L Woman

Yeah Josh, you’re right.
A couple of months ago he had nothing to do but post here.
Now that our boss gave new duties to Lerbman, I barely see him in the office.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:28 pm288uppity cracka

no reflective surfaces in your office?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:29 pm289uppity cracka

ah, offending the religious. it’s unavoidable really. they’re offended by reality.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:38 pm290Yo Yo Ma Ma

This all reminds me of a story about when I wa a lad, all we had were steam-powered computers.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:39 pm291Yo Yo Ma Ma

Quickening coming up. Will cracka get it, or Josh steal it from The Man?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:41 pm292uppity cracka

can i borrow the car tonight, yoyo?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:42 pm293The L Woman

Man, now that Josh mentioned it… actually Dr. Herbman and are never together.
I wondering if we are the same monkey.
Well, he should at least post in his house, he can access from there.
I can’t access from my house yet.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:44 pm294uppity cracka

that’s what you get for living in a banana tree.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:46 pm295The L Woman

I leave in a Brazilian Nut Tree.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:47 pm296uppity cracka

that’s nice.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:48 pm297uppity cracka

in america we keep our monkeys in the zoo. we’re kind of assholes here.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:48 pm298uppity cracka

how many can there be?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:48 pm299uppity cracka

there can be……………………..
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:49 pm300uppity cracka

ONLY ONE!!!!!!
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:49 pm301Yo Yo Ma Ma

Cracka, you have to use the Taurus. Nun stole the Mustang, even as we speak she’s bouncing up and down on the shaker hood. Hope her juices don’t spoil the paint again.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:50 pm302uppity cracka

only 6 to go!
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:50 pm303Yo Yo Ma Ma

Use your quickening well!
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:51 pm304Josh

http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog/?em3106=227887_-1__0_~0_-1_5_2008_0_0&em3161=&em3281=
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:52 pm305Yo Yo Ma Ma

I wonder if you can use PayPal to buy indulgences from God. You could bypass quickenings.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:52 pm306uppity cracka

that whore always takes the mustang. how am i supposed to get laid in a taurus????

or without a penis?????

i’m like some sort of freakish ben-eunuch.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:55 pm307Yo Yo Ma Ma

Jesusz, could someone explain to Kayne about the Caps Lock key?
on 09 Apr 2009 at 6:55 pm308uppity cracka

SHUT U-U-U-U-UP,

BE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-EN!!!!
on 09 Apr 2009 at 7:12 pm309Yo Yo Ma Ma

Sounds like someone doesn’t like Britney Spears.

http://new.music.yahoo.com/various-artists/news/britney-concert-goes-up-in-smoke–61987118
on 09 Apr 2009 at 8:08 pm310Josh

i’m just waiting for her to pose for playboy, much like tiffany did before her
on 09 Apr 2009 at 8:12 pm311God

I have created a video for My Hate Post on Patrick Swayze.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 8:47 pm312The L Woman

As I still can’t access internet from my Brazil Nut tree, I’ll see you next week.
Happy Easter for everybody, specially to you Jesus boy!
on 09 Apr 2009 at 8:58 pm313Jesus Christ

Thanks, you beautiful Brazlian shemale-cuntasshole.

I want to fuck your tits.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 9:16 pm314Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Titty fucking is gay, Jesus. Be a Studly Man like Your Father and tell her You want to fuck her cunt. The pansy-ass faggys that post here will still call You a fag but they’re just projecting their own fagginess on Your Divine Studliness.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 9:33 pm315Nun Ur Damned Bizness

My burro is a faggy fag-fag-fag.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 9:35 pm316Burro

I. AM .NOT. A. FAG.
on 09 Apr 2009 at 9:39 pm317Nun Ur Damned Bizness

You’re so faggy that you fagged up the cranky face. Fag.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 2:32 am318Josh

don’t you guys get it? Jesus first admits that L woman is a shemale (he knows, he’s Jesus) and then and only then does he say he wants to do some sexy times with her.

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag!!!!!!!!!!!!
on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:22 am319Hume Cronyn

Josh likes fish dicks.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:24 am320Hume Cronyn

Also, titty fucking is great.
I fucked Lansbury’s tits weekly
back in the day.
Some lubriderm and away we go.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:25 am321Hume Cronyn

Nun is a whore, Cracka, but in a good way.
Who doesn’t love a kindly/angry/funny whore?
on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:32 am322Hume Cronyn

Twas Johnson and her slithy toves
did her gina gimble in the wabe.
All flabby were her breastagroves
and Hume’s wrath outrage.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:54 am323Josh

Josh loves fish dicks? You late to that conversation as we already talked about it like in the 100s. Hume you’re such a gay fish.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:07 am324Tony Snow

Nun,

Here’s a little something for you …

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090410005513733
on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:45 am325Hume Cronyn

Oh Josh I sure hope you forgive my transgression.
I just can’t keep up with you younguns.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:48 am326Hume Cronyn

And yes. I’m a gay fish, Josh.
A gay fish.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 2:42 pm327uppity cracka

my job used to be great. i would wander around the building, saying sarcastic things to people, inserting needles into people (not referring to my penis, nun), scouting which department was going to provide my lunch for the day (80% hit rate), posting stupidity on divine and undivine blogs alike. now, i just run around like a jerry lewis character sweating and cursing and becoming more and more disgruntled.

what yoyo said the other day.

said.

shut up, ben.-
on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:31 pm328Yo Yo Ma Ma

What happened, cracka? Did they ‘rightsize’ your compnay (means lay off anyon except management), making more work for you?
on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:35 pm329Yo Yo Ma Ma

I would have posted earlier, but have been at Wal-Mart, destroying racks of Easter Bunnys and chocolate eggs.

Security detained me, I demanded they let me go, as I had to carry out our Savior’s Holy Word. Things got real quiet there in the assistant manager’s office.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:45 pm330Ben

holy shit guys, you need to go check out the idiots on the Asia post. Bridgette’s found a friend.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:53 pm331uppity cracka

yes, yoyo, they made this place a clusterfuck of failed policy and low morale. it’s like baghdad minus the bombs and corpses. so, way better than baghdad, i guess.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:57 pm332uppity cracka

i take that back.
i’ve seen my share of corpses.

(i’m a cracka and crackas suck, nobody likes the man)
on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:08 pm333Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Ummm… Tony, I already have birthed a loser and now you want me to birth a baby fag from Jesus’ faggy seed?
on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:13 pm334uppity cracka

why not? do it, nun!

i suck at insulting myself.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:13 pm335uppity cracka

it’s kind of fun, though.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:18 pm336Yo Yo Ma Ma

That’s too bad (about your work), Cracka. Things are semi-stable here, we actually have some good people in command now.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:26 pm337uppity cracka

not here. i think the policy decisions are made by a magic 8 ball. they seem pretty random. the problem (one of many) is that in order to change the simplest thing that is causing a nagging yet easily alleviated problem takes an average of 3 months. there are committees, action committees, review committees, process improvement committees, regional management committees, senior leadership committees. i’m going to form the committee against committees. it will consist of me and a bottle of jack. first meeting tonight after work.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:28 pm338Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Fuck. I feel bad for the smart people in Texas.

http://thinkprogress.org/2009/04/09/brown-asian-names/
on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:43 pm339Yo Yo Ma Ma

The smart Texans left. The stupid ones got the stupidest elected President.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:50 pm340Nun Ur Damned Bizness

G.W. Bush was not elected.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:53 pm341Yo Yo Ma Ma

supported
on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:26 pm342uppity cracka

fuck, people are so reactionary. they are calling for her to apologize to asian-americans because she said hicks are stupid? nun, next time you tell me i have no penis, you should apologize to yourself.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:54 pm343God

I have filmed another episode of the Stuff God Hates show, this one on ‘The Virgin’ Mary.

Only 65 more to go.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:54 pm344uppity cracka

nun, were my self-flagellations yesterday enough recompense for my perceived fagatronics?

if anything, i’ve discovered the joy of self-insulting. who knew i was so venus-in-furs?

shiny, shiny
shiny boots of leather
whiplash girl child
in the dark

strike dear mistress
and cure his heart
on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:56 pm345uppity cracka

that’s funny, God. it took You 7 days to create the universe and get drunk as hell on sunday. but, it’s taken You a week to put up like 6 eps on xtranormal? maybe You should have Your servant yoyo do some of it for You.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:59 pm346God

SHUTUP!

I’m a lot more busy now than I was then.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:02 pm347uppity cracka

on another note;
i don’t listen to mainstream hip hop at all. ipods, public radio station that plays real music, the recent million-band-march of indy rock, etc. no need for it. i like stuff on ninja tune, atmosphere is from here, more of the “underground” (sorry) shit is what i listen to occasionally. so, i see that kanye was on storytellers on vh1. decide to check it out. that guy is fucking horrible. no talent ass clown. he’s a hack. terrible singer. awful. rhymes are hokey as hell. hate him. how did he get to be famous? kanye west, you suck.

i’ll never be anyone important.

shut up, ben.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:03 pm348Nun Ur Damned Bizness

God doesn’t need the assistance of mortals. At least not mortals with vaginas. I offered Him my assistance and He didn’t even respond. It hurt my mortal, vaginal feelings and made me cry but at least He didn’t smite me… yet.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:07 pm349uppity cracka

haha! nun’s a faggy crybaby ‘gina juicer!!!
on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:07 pm350uppity cracka

(her vagina doubles as a juicer)
on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:09 pm351uppity cracka

do NOT turn on the juicer while inside of nun’s pig trough of a slophole. it’s like fisting a garbage disposal if you do. i’ve seen some gruesome shit in my life, but that is too much for even me to look at.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:10 pm352God

What did you offer to help Me with again Nun? Perhaps that email went into My junk folder.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:11 pm353Yo Yo Ma Ma

Some Easter (Ishtar?) comics:

http://mediumlarge.wordpress.com/2009/04/08/thursday-april-9-2009/

http://mediumlarge.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/friday-april-10-2009/
on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:13 pm354uppity cracka

divine comment AGAIN!

cra-a-a-acka—fuck yeah!
on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:56 pm355Yo Yo Ma Ma

How many quickenings is a Divine Comment?
on 10 Apr 2009 at 7:03 pm356Nun Ur Damned Bizness

God,

My email got routed to Your Divine Junk Box because I have a vagina. I know it. I resent it again even though I know that my vaginal email will once again be routed to Your Divine Junk Box.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 7:08 pm357Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Ha!! One of the reasons a grown woman is fucking adorable. Her reaction at 4:10 is fucking priceless. She’s so horrified.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtuvIkQYdv8

I would so totally fuck David Letterman.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 7:19 pm358Nun Ur Damned Bizness

This makes me want to cry for real.

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/19141470/detail.html
on 10 Apr 2009 at 7:27 pm359Ben

that’s funny, i was just going to say i want to kill myself. i had no idea you were going to post that.

anyway, i want to kill myself.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 7:35 pm360Nun Ur Damned Bizness

All joke-bending aside, that makes me really, really sad. My boy is only a year younger than that youngster and if I came across the scene that mother came across… well, I’d probably follow my boy. After I went on a rage-induced rampage to kill all the youngsters that made my youngster feel like he should kill himself.
.
.
.
That last part is joke-bending. I wouldn’t really kill the kids. Just their parents and school administrators.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 7:47 pm361Yo Yo Ma Ma

Shut up ben.

That sucks, Nun. I wish the school had got off their ass and done something.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 7:49 pm362Yo Yo Ma Ma

#360, supported.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 8:07 pm363Jesus Christ

I got killed on this day.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 8:07 pm364Jesus Christ

You assholes better wish Me a Happy Crucifixion Day.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 8:09 pm365Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Happy Crucifixion Day, J-Man.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 8:12 pm366uppity cracka

happy crucifixion day, fag!
i hope you get fucked in your spearhole later!
maybe nun will do it for you.
she has a strapon.
did i ever tell you about the time she raped my anus?
well, lucifer laughed and laughed and laughed.
but, it fucking hurt!
you’ll like.

ben, shutting up i hope?
the rest of you, fucking off i hope?

said, bitches.
on 10 Apr 2009 at 8:25 pm367Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Hey Jesus,

You can make Cracka cry super easy if You hold any resentment towards him. Just tell him he’s ugly and nobody cares about him. He’ll cry like a little pussy fag.
on 11 Apr 2009 at 2:02 am368Nun Ur Damned Bizness

God’s Mysterious Way in action…

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090411/ap_on_re_us/churchgoers_run_over

Way to smite, God.
on 11 Apr 2009 at 2:19 am369okijohn

Happy crucifiction day everyone! It’s a day later here, so I guess it’s “make up your own title day.”
on 11 Apr 2009 at 6:23 pm370Anonymous

Jesus is just alright with me,
Jesus is just alright, oh yeah.
on 11 Apr 2009 at 6:52 pm371uppity cracka

damn you, nun. i have no feelings. NONE!!! i was just pointing out how UNfunny you are.

WHORE!!!!
on 11 Apr 2009 at 7:58 pm372Josh

if this was real life and not the internet, Nun and cracka would be fucking.
on 11 Apr 2009 at 8:15 pm373Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Ha! That’s probably true, Josh… if Cracka had a penis. Speaking of which, did you see my video where I gave him one?

And Cracka, poor deluded Cracka, I am actually funny. I make people in real life laugh and it makes me happy in a joyful non-orgasmic kind of way.
on 12 Apr 2009 at 4:22 am374Hume Cronyn

I think Cracka would end up killing Nun
either for insurance purposes
or spite.
on 12 Apr 2009 at 4:23 am375Hume Cronyn

Or Sprite.
on 12 Apr 2009 at 4:59 pm376anne johnson

Vultures hate Jesus. Where would they be if everything that died got up after three days and started walking around again?

A little Easter greeting from anne freaking johnson.
on 12 Apr 2009 at 5:18 pm377Jesus Christ

I AM RISEN!
on 12 Apr 2009 at 5:31 pm378Josh

tell us the name of the guy you “got you up”!!!
on 12 Apr 2009 at 6:27 pm379Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Haha… Jesus is talking about His Divine Penis.

Happy Resurrection Day, Jesus!!
on 12 Apr 2009 at 10:29 pm380anne johnson

Either he’s talking about his schlong, or he’s a loaf of bread.

Hey, Jesus. Osiris wants his legend back.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 1:25 am381Hume Cronyn

Shut up, Anne.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 2:55 am382Baal

Yeah, Anne.
What Hume said.

Osiris is a punk!
on 13 Apr 2009 at 12:13 pm383anne johnson

Bite me, the both of you.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 12:48 pm384uppity cracka

well, that retarded “holiday” is finally over. does this mean we can put jesus back in his tomb? his propped up corpse is creeping me out.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 12:57 pm385uppity cracka

nun doesn’t understand the subtle difference between laughing with and laughing at.

ben does though.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 12:59 pm386anne johnson

#384: Once they escape the tomb, it is very hard to subdue and re-capture zombies. Regular tranquilizer darts have no effect. It might be possible to lure Jesus back into the tomb by offering him a fresh brain. I’ll leave that to you, Cracka.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 1:06 pm387uppity cracka

nun’s obvious joke fill-in:

fresh brain? that rules out cracka…and ben.

i’ll cover for her until the sun comes up in the pacific northwest.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 1:09 pm388uppity cracka

so, our divine task for the day is to get zombie jesus back into his tomb to take a nappy-poo until next easter? sounds easy. easier than that time we had to rescue yoyo from deep inside nun’s winding vagina labyrinth anyway.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 1:11 pm389uppity cracka

lost a lot of smoggy’s best sheep that day.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 1:27 pm390Jesus Christ

BRAINS! MUST EAT BRAINS!
on 13 Apr 2009 at 1:28 pm391Jesus Christ

Heh heh, I’m just kidding y’all. I’m not a zombie. Or am I?
on 13 Apr 2009 at 1:37 pm392Josh

Zombie Jesus eats cock.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 1:53 pm393anne johnson

Jesus Christ, I think it’s fair to say you’ve been eating good brains and turning them into digested crap since 33 A.D.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 1:54 pm394anne johnson

Cracka, please exercise some restraint and wait to insult Nun’s vagina until she’s had her morning coffee.

Yay! I’m on Spring Break this week! Where’s the beer and the nude beach?
on 13 Apr 2009 at 1:58 pm395Ben

oh snap! Anne just wrote a hell of a better joke than Josh.

Zombie Jesus eats brains and turns them into crap

VS.

Zombie Jesus eats cock.

Anne wins!
on 13 Apr 2009 at 2:02 pm396Josh

i didn’t know we were competing. oh well i will win based on the old japanese proverb “sit by the river long enough and the body of your enemy will float by”

this is true because anne is old, and she will float because she’s made of wood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrzMhU_4m-g
on 13 Apr 2009 at 2:07 pm397Josh

there can
on 13 Apr 2009 at 2:07 pm398Josh

be
on 13 Apr 2009 at 2:07 pm399Josh

only
on 13 Apr 2009 at 2:07 pm400Josh

one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on 13 Apr 2009 at 2:25 pm401anne johnson

Yes, it’s true. I’m made of wood. I’m a deck on the back of a double-wide, waiting for my yearly dose of Thompson Water Seal. Where is that lazy redneck? Hey, Bubba! Stain me!
on 13 Apr 2009 at 2:33 pm402Jesus Christ

Hey everyone, I just wanted to celebrate My first day of being back from the dead (that was a long three days), and so I made this little dance:
http://www.reesespuffs.com/?dance_id=131815
on 13 Apr 2009 at 2:41 pm403anne johnson

Jesus, why don’t you go back to your day job? Carpentry is a noble profession.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 3:43 pm404Josh

Jesus,
Anne has a point, you were very happy when you got to work with wood.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 3:53 pm405Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Watch my video, God damn it!!

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090411002537997
on 13 Apr 2009 at 3:55 pm406Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Cracka,

Your “joke”, if it could be called that, about ‘laughing at and laughing with’ was predictable… i.e. I knew that’s what you’d say and would only be funny if we were 12 year olds in the school yard.

I also find it amusing that you can say what you want about my precious vajayjay and I really don’t care but people don’t remember you’re from Duluth and you cry like a bitch. HA! Men are pussies.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:09 pm407Josh

ha ha Nun, you got me with your video. good ending.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:10 pm408uppity cracka

um. that wasn’t a joke.

and i didn’t cry. you’re dramatizing because of you have a vagina.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:13 pm409Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Your crying actions speak louder than what you say, Cracka.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:13 pm410uppity cracka

that’s a pretty gay dance, jesus.

i’m tired of fighting with nun. her ancient female strategy of naggy attrition has prevailed.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:16 pm411Nun Ur Damned Bizness

You really are a pussy if you think this is fighting.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:16 pm412uppity cracka

anyway, this stupid argument is detracting from josh and johnson’s brilliant jesus joke exchange.

bravo, sir and ma’am.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:24 pm413uppity cracka

now we’re fighting over whether or not we’re fighting. nun’s like a professional bitch. she could teach bitch classes.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:25 pm414Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I honestly don’t believe this is a fight. I think you’re just a pussy who should teach pussy classes.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:40 pm415uppity cracka

pussy-FACE!!
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:40 pm416uppity cracka

you know, pussyFACE doesn’t necessarily sound like a bad thing.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 4:54 pm417Nun Ur Damned Bizness

The Predator has a pussy face.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 5:08 pm418Josh

predator is one of the all time great movie characters. if i ever make it big i will have a life sized predator in my office.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 5:11 pm419anne johnson

Bitch-Pussy smackdown!

I’ve got to go rescue a “kitten in peril.” That’s what they call it at the animal shelter when they fling a baby cat at you that has no chance of survival and let you bring it home for Teenzilla to cry over and blame you when it croaks.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 5:12 pm420anne johnson

The only chance I’d ever have of beating Josh in a joke smackdown is if I called on the wisdom of the ages because I’m so fucking OLD.

*Anne rummages brain for knock-knock jokes about Jesus*
on 13 Apr 2009 at 5:13 pm421uppity cracka

josh-
you should just undergo a series of drastic surgeries to BECOME a life sized predator.

i got a friend with a predator tattoo. with the pussy face exposed. it’s pretty badass. then again, it’s also a tattoo from a movie…so, maybe it sucks.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 5:13 pm422anne johnson

PREDATOR! I’ve seen that one!
on 13 Apr 2009 at 5:17 pm423Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I would do what Anne does in regards to “kittens in peril” if I didn’t already have a whole zoo of rescue animals.

My son’s rat, the only non-rescue animal we have, bit the shit out of him last night for being a loser. I laughed and said “see? even your rat knows you’re a loser!”. He cried. What a fucking baby.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 5:26 pm424uppity cracka

you should punch him in the balls.

i rescued the cutest dog in the world. i’d rather hang out with my dog than 99.9% of people. she was terrified when we first got her. she stayed on the couch for days. hid from me. wouldn’t let me walk her for 2 months. she’s quite a different animal now though. stupid animal abusing fuckers. they should have their hands tied behind their backs and be forced to fight each other to the death by chewing on each other’s necks. fuckers.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 5:32 pm425Nun Ur Damned Bizness

My dog is the cutest rescue dog in the whole world. My only problem is I named her ‘Scully’. Never name a pet after a beloved fictional character. I don’t recall Mulder ever having to tell Scully to stop licking her butt.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 8:02 pm426Josh

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person”

Cracka where is your friend’s tattoo? The only way a movie tattoo can be bad ass is if is on his face. Like he got the predator face tattooed over his face. then he would be both bad ass and unemployable.

Ha Ha!!!! Nun’s kid owns a rat! That’s horrible. The only good rat I can think of is Splinter and he was old and feeble. Maybe the rat from the secret of NIHM, but then again most of those rats where vile backstabbing rats.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 8:36 pm427Yo Yo Ma Ma

HAHA! Funny video, Nun!
on 13 Apr 2009 at 8:39 pm428Yo Yo Ma Ma

We have a rescue cat. It’s actually our second cat - I call them Primary Cat and Emergency Auxillary Backup Cat.

EABC hid in the woodpile in my cellar for a week, hissing and growling if anyone got near. He’s quite friendly now, and gets along well with Primary Cat.
on 13 Apr 2009 at 8:42 pm429Yo Yo Ma Ma

Cracka, speaking of tattoos, why didn’t you comment about the one Nun should have above her Vayjay?
on 13 Apr 2009 at 8:46 pm430Yo Yo Ma Ma

Josh said: “Nun’s kid owns a rat”.

And they don’t even live in a ghetto.
on 17 Apr 2009 at 1:41 pm431Derek Murphy

Awesome - I love it!

Although… the only religious experience I ever had was a full-on metaphysical experience of the Easter Bunny (which wasn’t enough to convince me of his existence.)

Keep up the fun!
on 17 Apr 2009 at 2:11 pm432ben

Hi Derek,

Welcome to the fun. I’m generally regarded as the coolest and strongest person here, so you’ll want to stay close to me. My advice: Kick someone’s ass the first day or become someone’s bitch.

BEN
on 17 Apr 2009 at 2:27 pm433uppity cracka

shut up, ben.
on 22 Apr 2009 at 8:11 pm434Wazup

Haha, bunnies are criatures from hell, look at their pretty little red eyes and shit your pents!

I used to do that whan I was a kid.
on 22 Apr 2009 at 8:17 pm435Wazup

there are gargoyles inside those eggs.. don’t open it!