Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
I’d like to reaffirm once and for all My Position on the wrapping up of dicks in plastic for sex – I HATE IT!
Condoms are wicked! In the first place, they make sex feel like you’re fucking a plastic-covered couch.
Condoms are murderers! They wrap themselves around a penis and slaughter billions upon billions of innocent sperm. Each one of those sperm was specifically designed by Me to grow up to worship Me. Condoms prevent the spread of Christian sperm!
Even worse, they prevent the spread of HIV! And AIDS! IN AFRICA! This is a clear violation of My Divine Will.
Condoms are not ok for anyone to use, but they’re especially not ok for Africans. They’re the ones most at risk of catching HIV!
As the Pope said, it’s a “clear moral prohibition” to even consider giving condoms to a bunch of monkey-fucking Africans.
The condom is in direct violation of My Divine Penis Decree!*
Condoms say it is alright to fuck anyone you want and get away with it without getting either a baby or a disease. But condoms are wrong!
I, THE ALMIGHTY GOD, say that sex should always feel awesome, and it should always have dire consequences.
In My Opinion, there are only two acceptable ways for humans to have guilt-free sex: either don’t have sex at all, or only have sex with the little boys.
I, The Almighty Lord, have spoken.
——————————————————–
*When I first created the penis, it was only to be used for pissing. Then when I created woman, I gave Adam’s penis the ability to transform into a spear for baby-making. The whole sex thing was really all kind of an afterthought. And ever since it has caused nothing but trouble!
It all began when Adam gained his first erection. The first thing he did was smack Eve in the face with it. She rather liked this, and before long this was all he was doing with it. He was smacking it on rocks, on trees, on birds, it was a disgrace.
So I personally had to show Adam how to use his penis. I fucked Eve in front of him, and spent several hours showing him over and over again how to jam the penis inside the woman. After I was done, he was eager to try, but Eve said she couldn’t handle any more and hid behind a boulder. A couple days later she was ready but was very itchy down there on account of the herpes I had given her.
I commanded Adam to fuck her, but he became very afraid. So I created a Divine Penis Protector for him made out of lambskin, pinecones, and thorns. He had intercourse with Eve who was seriously injured and bled profusely. After I got done laughing at her, Adam told Me that the sex was a bit uncomfortable.
From that point on I decreed that the penis should ALWAYS enter unto the vagina unfettered and free from encumbrances.
freebiesss on 
TheEvilOverlord on 
God on 
Craig on 
samanta on 
ShunRenHu on 
sex with animals
if you can’t penetrate ‘em
just jizz on their butts
Thanks for the info, God.
BTW, did this really happen?
http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=35&Itemid=49&limitstart=65
Cause if it did, that’s the most awesome thing that’s ever happened. If it didn’t, it’s still awesome.
i hate condoms too Lord…
it´s sucks!
i don´t care about diseases, and i always cum on the mouth….
You’re a mean one, Mr. God. Your heart’s an empty hole. Your drawers are full of unwashed socks, you’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr. God … I wouldn’t touch you with a 99 and a half foot pole!
So does this mean that Cain and Abel are your kids?
Dr. Herbman
with all the AIDs in Brazil, you should love condoms.
Anne,
God is a member of the cobra kai dojo and believes mercy is for the weak.
oh boy Dr. Herbman/L Woman, you’re a stupid piece of shit, and i should know!
i’m a stupid piece of shit.
Dear God,
I didn’t actually nail Stacy. We were just playing around when her parents got home. I don’t know where the rumor came from, but I didn’t do anything to suppress it.
I thought you should know.
the only cure for AIDS is that homo, jesus.
prediction: bridgette will be posting a bible verse soon.
brace yourselves to be crowded out by all the fat and stupidity.
dr. lerbwoman,
you are fooling no one. we know you are two separate people because God told us so. stop trying to confuse us.
My bet is she will misquote the story from Genesis about spilling your seed. If only Onan could speak from the dead and set her straight.
haha!:
http://www.face.net/
FACE! is a great organization. Forming fine young Christian soldiers for Me since 1965.
“Condoms are wicked! In the first place, they make sex feel like you’re fucking a plastic-covered couch.”
Couldn’t agree more, Big Guy.
I to dispise condoms big guy.
Unless they are filled with liquid and tossed off of my balcony around midnight when a bunch of drunk’s are hanging around my condo near the beach.
condoms are best used to keep the poop off your hand when you’re fisting an anus. but that would be wrong. don’t do it.
im not trying anything…
there is someone using my Name and E-mail…
i don´t know who it is…
and yes, me and L woman are different people, as i always told you!
There are no condoms big enough to fit Mr. Johnson. He has to use the whole skin of an anaconda.
only if he puts in the ass, anne freaking johnson!!
that’s right, freaking johnson!!!!!!!!!
wait a minute, what did i just agree with?
I know some assholes that Mr. Johnson’s johnson would fit in, but I’m not naming names.
Bruce Vilanch?
Oh heck, why not? HUME!
But Mr. J doesn’t swing that way.
curtis? ben? nun? oprah winfrey?
Judging from the picture, condoms would make pretty Easter decorations. I think I’ll give Teenzilla a few in her Easter basket.
1. curtis … no, Mr. J is not gay.
2. ben … no, Mr. J is not retarded.
3. nun … no, Mr. J would definitely want to see her happy smile.
4. oprah? OPRAH? Maybe if the price is right. Gotta educate the kids.
God,
Please don’t smack me with Your super huge Cock for saying this but You might want to proofread Your first paragraph. Specifically the “I HATE ITI”. Who or what is ‘ITI’, God? It reminds me of some of the “rabid” X-Files fans who write things like “MOulder and sKully lurve ech udder!!!11!” Not that You’re like any of those morons, God.
shut up, ben.
ooh Nun, correcting God! He might take away your penis or your sac!
If anyone’s due a smiting it’s Dr. Herbman for saying God believes mercy is for the weak. Dr. H hasn’t been here long enough to know that we don’t tell God what He believes, because we’re always wrong.
But … good catch, Nun! I went right over that one. I think I was still staring at the pretty, pretty rubbers.
I think God was thinking about fucking Eve senseless and that’s how He even did that to begin with. I’m hesitant to call it an error because God doesn’t make mistakes that He admits to.
It’s the mistakes He won’t admit to that fuck us up.
Nun,
God does not make mistakes; it is us mortals that see His ways as a mistake. I am sure ITI is something we don’t yet comprehend.
He never answered my question about Cain and Abel. Because if God’s their Baby Daddy, then He’s no better than a hillbilly for plugging the Blessed Virgin Mary. She would be in the Family tree.
If everything’s a part of God’s mysterious plan, then it is a fuckin shitty plan!
Cracka,
Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be helping your state make millions of sandbags?
Anne,
I don’t think He will answer that question. Perhaps you should call in to Maury to settle that one.
Anybody watch that last episode of Battlesux Galacticock? We’re all cylons, y’all.
fuck off anne freaking johnson…
i don´t care about how long im here… don´t waste our time with this jelousy shit you fucking bitch!
hey Nun…
pass it on!!!
are you dating the joint or something ?
Herbman,
STFU. Anne is talking about God. From day one her intent here has been to bust His balls. If you actually had the reading comprehension of a 3 years old you’d know that.
God made me selfish, Herbman. In short, get your own chiba!
idiots…
who cares ?
wtf…
let me smoke my chiba in peace, please ?
God, thank you for the new one blessed chiba.
what a big head…
NUN IS A BIG HEAD WHORE!!
God, can you check out who the hell is using my name and e-mail ?
Thank You.
“#6.Dr. Herbman
Dr. Herbman
with all the AIDs in Brazil, you should love condoms.
Anne,
God is a member of the cobra kai dojo and believes mercy is for the weak.
”
it wasn´t me who put that…
God should smite everybody who thinks remaking The Karate Kid with a 12 year old is a good idea.
wtf ?
SANDBAGS?
for an ice storm?
actually it’s just a little rain where i live.
and if we needed sandbags we would have the ’sconnies do it. they can be paid in kegs of stale beer.
because wisconsin is stupid.
this is a big deal where i grew up.
http://www.collegehockeynews.com/news/2009/03/22_wtminnesota-duluth.php
shut up, doctor lerbwoman.
the rest of you, feel free to fuck off as you wish.
except for ben, ben has to fuck off exactly how he’s told.
said.
Don’t anyone ever correct Me! I AM INFALLIBLE!
I meant to spell it “I HATE ITI” as it was as a sign of My Anger and frustration.
THERE IS HELL TO PAY FOR THOSE WHO QUESTION MY MYSTERIOUS WAYS!
God said: “…as it was as sign of My Anger and frustration.”
heheh… I love Your Mysterious Ways, God. I also love it when You go on Your Divine Blog after a Divine Bender. This is not criticism in any way. Everything You do is perfect, God, even if it isn’t. This is just a way of pointing out Your Divine Cuteness.
“God works in mysterious ways his blunders to perform.”
OUCH! I just sat on an unseasonable wasp. Wonder where that came from???
nice wasp smite, God.
“It is good for a man not to marry. 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Corinthians 7: 2-6
Anne, was it a wasp, or did you sit on cracka’s prick?
This verse clearly says that man and women should be married before having sex. Condoms promote promisecuity and that is all the Pope was trying to say before it got spun by the liberal news media.
Guards, beat Bridgette for daring to try to confuse me!
In some cultures what Bridgette does would be considered normal. Let’s honor her personality flaws, for without them she would have no personality at all.
sex is satanic, yoyo. all she’s trying to say is that when you see two squirrels doing it you should kill them. i think it’s obvious. it’s a horny squirrel sacrifice for yah-waaaaay! i’m pretty sure it’s reasonable to sacrifice animals so the harvest is plentiful. how else can we grow food? and, also, the pope is a fag.
“liberal media” hahahaha!!!!
i heart bridgette.
hey bridgette, spin this: fuck the bible, fuck the pope, fuck jesus, fuck you.
What the fuck is a “pine-comb”?
SHUT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN ALL OF YOU!!
bridgette’s gotta be a poe. it’s not the stupidity. i firmly believe that there really are people as stupid as bridgette. it’s just the likelihood of someone nailing every single ignorant hillybilly cliche to such a fucking tee, you know?
fag-brad. a pine-comb is what you’ve been trying to dislodge from your rectum since you were raped by that pine tree.
wtf is a poe
i’m a dumb dumb dumb dumb dumbdumb
“Condoms promote promisecuity”
okay, that’s not how you spell “promiscuity”
nobody ever disputed what the pope said, it’s just that what the pope-nazi said is fucking stupid. since you are clearly stupid you do not recognize the stupidity of what pope-nazi said. no one spun it, moron. this is what the pope said. it pisses people off because it is IDIOTIC. i suppose you think the liberal scientists and doctors and universities are “spinning” facts and knowledge so they don’t fit your asinine, ridiculous, superstitious belief system, right?
yes Bridgette is right! Let them all die of AIDS, even the rape victims because they broke the law of no sex before marriage! FUck them all! In fact the way the prostitutes do it in India is perfectly Bible legal. Their pimp is also a priest and before you bang the ho, he marries you. Then you fuck them, then he divorces you! That’s perfectly legal in the bible’s eyes.
some other blog i was reading people used poe to describe poser. i think it originally meant some who refuses to use leetspeak. it’s crazy, i know.
and, no, that other blog wasn’t nearly as Blessed as His Divine Blog.
josh, you should be emperor of earth with that governing wisdom. maybe God will let you take over.
Ben, here’s a good definition of a poe: http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Poe’s_Law
I’d seen it on Evolution blogs, and had to look up the definition myself.
thanks, yoyo. there you have it ben.
now shut the fuck up.
Somebody is leaving the company, so we had a goodbye party at lunchtime. Everybody brought something, I brought napkins and icecubes from the breakroom.
i always bring booze. cold refreshing booze…try some today!
nun is a whore.
i am a john.
I slipped some Everclear and roofies in the HR secretary’s drink. Got a nice raise.
Hello Ben-john.
nice work, yoyo.
make sure you leave a mess so she knows exactly what happened.
Ask God directed, I didn’t use a condom.
Only thing better then booze is free booze. I learned that from a bunch of lawyers at a “ethics retreat”.
Bridgette never winketh, nor doth she nod, nor, yea, doth she use of the smiley icons upon God’s Holy Site. Therefore must we believe that she protests in earnest.
Kraig, were there any English teachers at the “ethics retreat?” If so you should have paid better attention.
I don’t understand why it is so hard for you to accept that people have opinions different than yours. The Pope does not want Africans to die of AIDS. He just said the truth! Condoms don’t work they spreads the disease by making poeple think they’r more effective than they are. What if the condom breaks? The best way to avoid getting HIV in Africa is to wait until marriage. That is all he was saying. If any of you actually lived there you I bet you would do the same.
when you go to a ethics retreat with free booze everyone speaks engrish, duh. stupid druish ho.
Funny, she doesn’t look Druish. (Points to whoever identifies that movie quote.)
With free booze, everyone speaks gibberish.
space-baaallllllllllss!! nananana!
i suck at math.
bridgette. you are such an incredibly uneducated half-wit. why are you so….
ugh…
i understand your opinion. your opinion is part of the problem. condoms reduce AIDS by 80%. condoms rarely break. people DO NOT have sex less if they have no condoms or sex ed. why don’t you use reason or fact to back up your opinions? it’s because you base your opinions solely on the bias of your half-baked, crackpot magical beliefs. you do so because you are from west virginia and you were taught to do so by dumb hicks who were taught by other dumb hicks. the pope is a charlatan and an extortionist. you are deceiveth thereby.
Bridgette, I am a language arts tutor at the Vocational/Technical School near Collingswood, New Jersey. My first class on “A” days begins at 9:22. My first class on “B” days begins at 10:06.
You would especially like the wonderful desserts we get in the teachers’ lounge, made by the students.
Do not attend if you are not ready to write using proper grammar and spelling. Additionally I teach my students to make sense.
it’s true, the best way to avoid AIDS is to not have sex. of course. but the ONLY practical way to reduce AIDS is condoms and sex education. you don’t understand the difference between correlation and causation because your mind has been hijacked by woo.
Aaaaand points to Ben!
Thanks, you other people. You get a copy of our home game.
God, how COULD you make that Divine Comment of the Day?
It’s not even coherent!
Oh, wait a minute.
Never mind. God’s not coherent either.
Well done Bridgette. Your agreement with My Divine Hatred of Condoms has earned you Divine Comment of the Day!
Condoms don’t work and they promote free sex! And don’t you also agree they feel awful when stuffed inside your fat cunt?
Next God will give Bridgette another quickening. Here we go…
(Drum roll, please)
There can only….
I don’t know that I agree that Bridgette’s fat. We can’t see her body. I’d call her righteously indignant with a bad dye job.
HEEE HAWWWW! I waited and waited for you dickless wonders to leap.
What is this thing between my legs
Sorry Anne, I was setting up Cracaka. I guess he’s satisfied with what he’s packing.
BTW, what will Mr. Johnson say when he sees your Swingin’ Wonder tonight?
“Oh…joy.”
The swingin’ wonder’s already gone. I snipped it off with fingernail scissors. God’s not very generous with penis enlargement.
God enhances in proportion to His love for us.
check it out:
http://www.gotoquiz.com/do_you_have_biblical_morals
i’m an immoral turd dumpling.
HAHAHA! I’m only 8% inline, according to the survey.
Speaking of turds, I’m hand-crafting Easter gifts for every one of you. Expect a jewl-encrusted gold-inlaid Fabergé turd soon.
how the fuck did you get so low as 8%? have you been reading this blog at all? i got 100% yo.
i fuck bibles.
Ben, please remember, the Fabergé turd is not edible.
God-97
fatcuntFACE!!!
Shut up Ben.
Anne, that thing between your legs
is a dank and mossy she-cave
above which should hang a sign:
‘Abandon all hope, Ye who enter here.’
ooh, a grammatically correct genital throwdown.
pull up a plastic lawnchair and pass the moonshine…this could get uglier than nun’s bearded vagina dentata.
This beats watching flies get fried in the bug zapper.
bridgette is one of those people “…who want to prioritize a page and a half of vague, poetic metaphor from a ragged old hodge-podge of a book of mythology over the concrete, well-tested, and well-documented body of modern scientific information.” —because bridgette is an arrogant dipshit. it is easier to be pious, uninformed and self-righteous than it is to have to dismantle your entire neurological system, tear down your cognitive compartments and deal strictly in terms of reality…especially because reality will force you to admit that you are not indestructible and do not have the spiritual capacity to grasp the ultimate grounds of higher thought apart from the “infidels” or “heathens” simply because you are part of some weird cult and they are not.
quotes from PZ.
where is the whore today? or the brazilians? or josh for that matter?
i suck at everything.
-shut up, ben-
What cracka said.
Piss off, Ben. I’M NOT A WHORE!!
Bridgette said:
“The best way to avoid getting HIV in Africa is to wait until marriage. ”
BWAHAHAHAHAHA - What Bridgette is saying y’all is that HIV goes away once you be married. What an ignorant cunt.
Bridgette also said:
“I don’t understand why it is so hard for you to accept that people have opinions different than yours.”
Excuse me? Practice what you preach, dear. Accept that we have a different opinion than yours and let it go. Why are you so dumb?
maybe bridgette is dumb because she’s also a whore. you know, a whore like nun.
Nuns aren’t ignorant, Cracka. You’re going to hell for even thinking such a thing. Only the Pope is ignorant.
this is where bridgette stops because she has no rebuttal for a verifiable, tangible truth. her only rebuttal is faith. well, let me tell you something, fatty. if you can understand this next sentence without the adipose tissue in your fat body blocking the words from reaching your brain:
faith is not a virtue, but a vice.
faith just makes things easier. jeebus is just a replacement for your childhood teddy bear. he’s not the light of the world, he’s merely the nightlight in your ramshackled mental prison.
i’m sorry, nun. i didn’t realize that i was accusing you of being ignorant. allow me to amend my statement. maybe bridgette is a different kind of whore than nun…who is not ignorant, just disgustingly slutty.
nun, with all the negroes and AIDS in africa, you better stay the hell away from that continent. there’s no way you’d come back without the hivvs.
I know, Cracka but my love of darkies does not allow me to be smart when I see their large mandingo penises.
As for Bridgette, I doubt she’s slutty. I doubt her own husband can get her to spread her legs unless it’s for the purpose of procreating. That’s how women like Bridgette roll and why their husbands almost always sleep around.
right, which is exactly why we have to band together as a team of disciples and make sure you NEVER go to africa.
poor bridgette’s husband. poor, poor son of a bitch…husband of a bitch…
you guys are wrong about Bridgette. She’s fat and married. My guess is she was born fat, and in order for a fat girl to get a man and keep him she had to at one point take it in the pooper. She’s a freak no doubt. As the bible basically says do whatever your husband needs you to do in the bedroom and to no “deny him the marital due” and Bridgette lives by the good book. In other words, Bridgette’s husband hits it raw, in every hole, hence Bridgette’s bad hearing.
Wow, Cracka. I’m touched. I would think you’d want me to go Africa and get riddled with the African HIV.
I pity Bridgette’s husband. And her children as well. Living with somebody like Bridgette is not a blessing, it’s a chore. She’s far too judgmental to be reasonable about anything. She’s also far too hypocritical to look at her behavior with any kind of reality. She lives in her delusional world where she is right and everybody else is wrong. Note how she accuses us of not accepting another’s opinion when that’s what she does all the time.
Ha! Josh, I don’t think you know enough bible thumpers. My sister wouldn’t even give her husband a blowjob. Missionary style all the way.
wow, josh. a dry earhole fuck? ouch. maybe his blessed, christian dick poking her in her squishy wet brain made her this dumb…
i’m not funny.
wait, nun has point (or is that her…no, nope, it’s definitely a point), the fundies think orgasms make jeebus cry—and not a therapeutic cry either, it’s that one lonely tear of disappointment, the lip quivers, the feelings are hurt, but he tries his best to suppress it. to no avail, that one telltale tear comes dripping out and down his super-gay cheek.
that’s right, ben, every time you practice kissing on your pillow that fag, jeebus, sheds a little tear for you.
let me change that to:
…every time you prematurely ejaculate while you practice kissing on your pillow…
thanks for your time.
and in regards to your avatar Josh, it looks like Obama could use a quickening or two:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/us_politics/view.bg?articleid=1160639&srvc=news&position=recent
i will never be president of anything.
all I know is every bible thumper, preacher’s daughter I’ve known growing up has been a super freak (except my 10th grade GF, she was the real deal, hot as shit prude as hell). Hence priest fucking boys. you can’t live your entire life, every second on the lease, sometimes the dog roams free.
shut up, ben.
bridgette, fuck off.
damn ethnics.
leash!!! not lease. mother fucker.
Hume, you turd-sucker, if you know where the quote “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” comes from, you may insult my snatch without reprisal for one hour. But it doesn’t count if you have to look it up in some website, moron.
You have three minutes.
You gotta wonder about Bridgette. She keeps reading God’s pronouncements and posting comments, even though she’s outnumbered at least six-to-one, and the slowest among us has better spelling, grammar, and expository skills.
I’m including the Brazillians, even though they’re off eating parrots today.
But Josh! We do live on the lease. We’ve got a lease on life! When the landlord won’t renew, we go to the fairies and the unicorns!
Time’s up, “Hume” Cro-Magnon. Abandon all hope of ever getting in my pretty panties.
said.
Bridgette plays this song on her itunes every Friday night
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
Damn you vile woman!
Denied again.
Stupid incontinence.
In New Jersey did God Almighty
A stately pleasure dome decree
Where Anne’s sacred river ran
Through caverns measureless to man
down to a sunless sea.
Hume, I want to build a time machine, so I can ward off the Person from Porlock who interrupted his dream, and thus the poem (if a real person, and not just writer’s block).
Interesting, there are references to Nun in the poem: ” woman wailing for her demon-lover !”, “…in fast thick pants were breathing…”.
Looking at the ‘Rime of the Ancient Mariner’, we see references to the New Jersey shoreline:
“The very deep did rot : O Christ !
That ever this should be !
Yea, slimy things did crawl with legs
Upon the slimy sea”
And Bridgette:
“The Night-mare LIFE-IN-DEATH was she,
Who thicks man’s blood with cold.”
Josh,
#134 - I know it’s hard but try not to be so retarded. Does Bridgette seem like a freak to you? I’m a PK, Cracka is a PK. Bridgette has never seen the hypocrisy that runs rampant in organized religion. She is just one of the many sheep who is not capable of thinking for themselves.
she also hates having condoms stuffed into her fat cunt.
so, yeah, there’s that.
Hmmm, I worked in a blueberry canning factory one summer, and have never eaten frozen/canned blueberries ever since.
Would Bridgette’s eyes open if she could live in her preacher’s parsonage for a year?
Sounds like a good reality show.
Even pastors fuck around but somebody like Bridgette would be blind to that kind of thing. Either that or she’d try to justify it in someway. Growing up, our Baptist pastor fucked around with one of the married chicks in the congregation. He also used to hold his toddler on his lap and let her steer the family sedan when they were driving. Great example some of these guys are.
prepare to be absolutely disgusted, unless you’re bridgette:
http://www.christiannewswire.com/news/646579835.html
People like Gingi should be forced to raise all the unwanted children living in this world. When there are no children that nobody wants then they can bitch and moan about all the innocent lives we’re killing. Honestly, these people are so stupid. Do they really believe a life spent in the foster system or on the street is better than going back to God because that’s what they believe happens to aborted fetuses… they’re returned to God’s Loving Embrace.
I hate people.
it’s just the absence of any compassion. god of love, my ass. she’s gloating over dead children as if god is teaching someone she refers to as an “abortionist” some sort of moral lesson by murdering his children and grandchildren. what the fuck? her humanity has been replaced by a grotesque parody. bridgette probably agrees with her that this is god’s work. idolatry. superstition. dumb, violent assholes.
Agreed. Let’s abort them.
This was actually a lesson in stupidity… don’t overcrowd a small plane. Darwinism and survival of the fittest.
I do not agree that this is God’s work. God does not kill out of anger or spite as some here would have you believe. But I must admit it’s ironic that this man’s plane would crash so near the Tomb of the Unborn.
HAHA!! Not as familiar with that bible as you claim to be, are you Bridgette? God does not kill out of anger or spite my ass. Read your Old Testament, dumbass.
Also, here’s a little hint: dye your eyebrows too.
ahhhh….
ironic, is it?
“God does not kill out of anger or spite…”
fatty has never actually READ the bible. she just scans it for the feely-good parts. every time you post something you just sound dumber and dumber. cognitive dissonance, bridgette—look it up.
bridgette, go debate this overwhelming mountain of atheists on the subject:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/03/a_heartless_faith.php#more
Somebody aborted Bridgette’s brain but left her body.
bridgette,
every time two gametes join to form a zygote, one gamete dies…should we protest or have a funeral? every time a clump of cells is used for research, they die. should we have a funeral? every time you hair grows, it is made of dead cells, you should shave your head and have a funeral. as we speak, your red blood cells are dying, you should constantly wail in terror. at what point does the clump of cells become a human? what if the clump of cells is the product of incestuous child-rape? you see, the problem with you fundies is that you do not attempt to grasp the nuances in your own argument. this is because nuance, along with reality, is antithetical to everything you’ve used to construct your fragile fantasy world. so, if you actually tried to understand it, your world would crumble around you. meh, best to just stay stupid, huh?
ben, tell the jew we need some fat jokes in here.
oh, and shut up.
Bridgette won’t understand what you took the time to type, Cracka. She does not have the brain matter or comprehension skills required to understand such a complex situation. Chances are, she never got past gametes.
i would but the jew died.
i’m fat and depressed.
damnit, nun. you’re right. i should stick with this:
bridgette, you’re a fat, stupid cunt.
ben, the jew died? did he choke on josh’s fag-dick?
hahahahahahahahaha!!!
shut up.
ben, ben, ben… internet comic strips are not real life. Jew is just as unpleasant, fat and gay as ever sitting at his desk and making everybody around him miserable.
Lunch: Children’s meal from McDonald’s, also known as the mini-heart clogger. My blood looks like fondue.
Shut up ben
HOLY SHIT! i visited that link and Bridgette actually posted there! what a dumb fat cunt.
everyone ignores me.
jew, Zeus, the Brazilians, Zeus, where have they gone? Why have they forsaken us?
seriously! they’re tearing Bridgette’s fat cunt apart over on PZ’s blog! it’s fucking great.
me stupid.
It’s not that difficult, ben. She’s not capable of launching a logical argument, she’s only capable of repeating what she’s heard or read. Note that she never has a logical comeback when somebody questions her.
There’s nothing wrong with Bridgette that reincarnation won’t cure. I’m sure we could help arrange it…
no, ben’s right. she went over to a science blog and started posting about irony and coincidence. God, why did you make bridgette so stupid, yet so bold?
she got her ass FACEd! it’s funny.
it starts around 370-375. good stuff.
bridgette’s first post is 353. this is the entertainment i needed today.
364 is the first response to her inanity. oh, the humanity!!
she got faced on 377,379,380,392 especially, 393,411.
oh, i hope she doesn’t give up. onward christian fatty!!!
looks like she’s done embarrassing herself.
She’s too stupid to realize she embarrassed herself.
Why are we wondering if it’s a coincidence when we have God right here to ask?
God, was this a coincidence, or did you mean to slaughter the evil abortionist and his family in such a suggestive manner?
Dammit, Ben! I cleared my cache, and I lost the wacky red avatar!
Must be a coincidence, or ironic, or something.
Phooey!
The abortionist didn’t die, Anne.
God really killed Himself some dead people this time.
oh i love you Bridgette!!
i wanna stick my dick in your ass.
Now that Bridgette’s found PZ, she won’t come see us anymore. There are so many more sinners over there.
Not that we don’t sin here. Sin for sin, we probably have them beat. But they are more numerous.
As a Druid, I believe in Right to Life. I refuse to pull the baby trees in my backyard. It’s starting to look overrun out there.
Oh well. The bigger ones will starve out the smaller ones. Ever so much better to die slowly from lack of sunlight than to be pulled up in one brisk motion.
There’s a family planning clinic up the street from my house. Every Saturday there are protesters with signs standing in front of it. EVERY LAST FAT FUCK AMONG THEM IS A MAN! Mothalickas.
ahh, yes, johnson. it must suck to have such a complex decision to make with such moral ambiguity muddying the waters and then have a bunch of men telling you what to do with your autonomous, non-male body. abortion is a matter of perspective, of course, both sides of the debate can make a very convincing argument. it’s just that one point of view is being dominantly voiced by loonies who make their side sound a lot dumber than it is. (i mean the x-ians, people like bridgette….dumb people….really loud, really dumb people———idiots, i’m saying)
Cracka, I see you got your licks in at Pharyngula.
Do you suppose Bridgette wobbles between the two websites, trying to covert us all?
ben, 185-you forgot to insult yourse-nevermind.
the problem with pharyngula is that by the time you read three 1,000 word comments 10 more people have commented. it’s too much.
Agreement - I like the more relaxed pace here.
Shut up ben.
Did Brazil lose it’s internet connection?
yeah, i like FACE!ing whores who need to shut up, fags.
brazil? never heard of it.
Brazil is a part of Mexico. Everything - drugs, housecleaners, hookers - is more expensive than near the border.
Bridgette #154 said:
I do not agree that this is God’s work. God does not kill out of anger or spite as some here would have you believe.
Bridgette, you’re a moron who doesn’t even know her own bible or the God in it.
Ecclesiastes 5:6 (King James Version) Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands? (Angry SMITE!!!!)
Deuteronomy 4:20-22 (King James Version) But the LORD hath taken you, and brought you forth out of the iron furnace, even out of Egypt, to be unto him a people of inheritance, as ye are this day. Furthermore the LORD was angry with me for your sakes, and sware that I should not go over Jordan, and that I should not go in unto that good land, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance. But I must die in this land, I must not go over Jordan: but ye shall go over, and possess that good land. (No Holy Land for Moses SMITE!!!)
Read the good book. THe God of the old testament is very angry, and killed and smote many in anger and jealousy.
here is a logical argument you will not get Bridgy. If Adam and Eve committed the original sin, why is it all mankind is forced to suffer due to their transgression? This is not fair in any regard, and the bible clearly states that God is fair. So how can these two ideas, which are mutually exclusive, exist and both be correct?
Yes, I did crash that plane, and I’d do it again!
I HAVE PIGEONS TO KILL!
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
fuck you, josh.
i mean it, fuck you with a strap-on (that you will enjoy because you’re sooooooooooooooo gay).
josh-198. there are so many mutually exclusive/logically divergent arguments against biblical christianity it’s fucking ridunkulous.
God-of course! He was only smiting pigeons again!
cracka,
fuck me? I bet you say that to all the fellas.
Do you have condom on that strapon? Who knows where ben’s mouth has been!
condom-mouth-straponFACE!!!
i enjoy declaring complicated word-fusing FACEs.
I’ll fuck you, Josh. Seriously, I will. I’ve done it before.
Soooo… is God saying He crashed that plane to take out some evil pigeons?
Josh and Cracka, I found an article on PZ’s website about you: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2006/06/the_burden_of_bearing_a_massiv.php
YES THOSE PIGEONS DESERVED TO DIE AND THEY’LL BURN IN HELL!
You forgot Your Angry Face, God.
Those evil pigeons.
SHUTUP!
You’re beautiful when You’re cranky, God.
God’s funny.
God’s Divine Anger and Wrath is not funny, Cracka!!
It’s beautiful.
ol’ horny slut, nun. that whore sees “beauty” (penises) in every inkblot available in the rorschach catalog.
“just tell us the first thing that comes to mind when you see the images, nun.”
“dick.”
“okay, this one.”
“cock”
“all right, how ’bout this one?”
“penis”
“sure. this one?”
“dick again.”
“let’s take a break for some sex, okay?”
In Nun’s defense, she can’t help it, after all, you are the one showing her dirty pictures!
Yeah!! What Yo said you fucking pervert.
Everybody here knows how to get me to not see cock… show me a picture of yourself naked, Cracka-boy. Rest assured, I won’t see penis in that picture.
the only rebuttal for the old “no-penis” joke is, as always:
WHORE!!!
Yeah, yeah. Same old, same old… lack of penis kills one’s creativity.
ha! God gave himself another divine comment of the day award. You deserve it God!
i don’t deserve anything.
God’s playing Divine Favorites with Himself. I’ll bet that’s not the only thing God plays by Himself.
That might explain the recent earthquakes and volcanic eruptions.
not my fault. josh keeps stealing all the quickenings. thing about quickenings is that they are not permanent. you need at least three per week to keep a big one…average one if you’re a cracker. in my condition, i need at least 8 per week. it’s no laughing matter.
you are all jelousy!!!
Dr. LerbWoman! We missed you! How is your monkey?
looks like someone plugged the national DSL modem back in in whichever country Lerbwoman lives.
we’re not jealous, no, we are a physical manifestation of jealousy itself. so, that makes us pretty neat.
His monkey thought the cable was something to eat and bit it in half. Took awhile for a new cable to arrive from Tongo Tongo.
ha! tongo tongo.
shut up, ben.
the rest of you————-fuck off!!!
im on vacation morons…
do you know what it is ?
hey cracka, your mom says hello, she is going back home tonight ok ? im done with this crazy bitch…
vacation: drugs, scotch, bitches, gambling, and cigars…
but far way from home!!
I didn’t know they had vacations in Brazil. Do you guys have telephones and electricity and shit like that, Herbman?
for sure Nun…
that night you came here the lights were off baby!
rather be a brazilian than a fucking Irish,
w-h-o-r-e…
Where do Brazilians go for vacations?
I’d rather be Brazilian than Irish too. I’m hideously deformed and I’ve got the evil Irish syphillis.
feel sorry for you…
BURN!
do you burn like i burn ?
SEE??? I told you Bridgette was right, it was more than a “coincedence” that brought down the plane!
I’m sure glad God hates pigeons and not vultures.
Nun, let’s light Lerbman and see if he’s more than just talk.
Here’s the match …
*inhales*
C-plus.
Where do Brazillians go on vacation? New York City. Every fuckin foreigner in the world goes to New York City on vacation. And they all want to see “Lion King.”
Am I not correct on this, Josh?
you can´t anne freaking johnson, i´m all Nun´s…
It’s anne fucking johnson to you, parrot-breath.
i´m too strong for you,
and you are too old for me…
said.
no… it´s anne FREAKING johnson!!!!!
If you can’t drop the f bomb, you’re a pussy.
PUSSY!
Strong men don’t use “freaking.” They drop the f bomb.
And trust me, I don’t need your attention. Trust me.
I don’t need that fuckin zombie turning good poetry into bad jokes about my snatch, either.
trust me,
i don´t care…
i am a sex bomb…
said.
God, please answer me!!
Why there are people like anne freaking johnson on earth dear God ?
God should redo my picture with hideous deformities. It would be interesting to see how He sees me.
My syphillis doesn’t burn, Herbman. It itches. I’ve never had real syphillis(just the evil Irish kind) so I don’t know if that’s normal behavior for syphillis or not. My poor people can’t even do syphillis right.
Bloodvarks don’t need condoms. Crossbred creatures are often incapable of producing viable offspring.
Did Dr. Herbman just say “said.”
HA Ha Herbamn is really cracka.
Said!
Nun,
send me your picture, topless please, and I will photoshop t with the deformities you seek.
Poor Josh. I swear that if I didn’t know you are a retarded chink I’d think you were a darkie, you’re certainly dumb enough to be one. Herbman started the whole “said” thing. Silly chinky-chong.
Watch your inbox. (I’m dumb enough to be Irish)
Anne’s last post, re-arranged as if imagined by Herbman:
I don’t need bad jokes about my fuckin zombie snatch, either; good poetry.
holy shit! i just killed on lost.
i like lost.
nun,
the order of who said “said” first does not matter. if Cracka is Herman, and using the “said” under the id of Herbman, using it as Cracka then again as Herbman shows they are the same person (allegedly)
and I’ve been checking my email every 2 minutes; NOTHING!
I think the only sounds we’re gonna hear from cracka today are the gurgles people make as they drown in floodwater.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get the free WiFi!
ahahahaa. classic yo yo.
i’m classic suck.
Got any chicken jokes, Ben?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To avoid being eaten by Dr. Lerbwoman!
Damn! I missed Shatner’s birthday - it was March 22.
Anyway, Happy Shatner’s Birthday!
Caaaaaake!
A chicken joke, as told by Nun:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To avoid seeing cracka’s tiny penis!
A chicken joke, as told by cracka:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it wouldn’t fall into Nun’s sloppy cvnt! Whore!
Sloppy indicates wetness which all males enjoy, even some females. You’d know this if your penis hadn’t stopped working 20 years ago, Yo.
old-penisFACE!!!
the only part of minnesota that is flooded is the western part way the hell over by the dakotas. never been there. never will be there. don’t even consider it part of the state, really. they’re like the people in “fargo”. except without the woodchipper…i hope. also, too dumb to move away from a river that destroys their homes every 3 years. idiots.
said.
-as coined by dr. lerbwoman.
yoyo-
nvn’s cvnt speaks latin?
vagina dentata, indeed.
Cracka, my anus keeps speaking in High Latin, it’s rather embarassing at parties.
Nun - agreement on velvety warm, glove-gripping sloppiness, I-
Ummm, not sure where I was going with that.
A chicken joke, as told by Ben:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I suck at everything.
That would require ben having the ability to tell a joke and I don’t think he’s capable, Yo. Also, I don’t think God wants us to capitalize his name.
chicken joke from josh:
why da chicken cross da road, ching-chong durrrrrrrr????
white people are crazy!!!!!
and now, from dr lerbwoman:
dear God why there are chicken crossing a roads??
I FUCK YUOU!!! YOU ARE SUCK OF MY BALL!!!!
Whoops - my bad, Nun! I’d do a chicken joke from God Himself, but don’t want to be smited today.
And I can’t do dialect, so have to pass on the Brazillians, also.
HAHA! Thanks, cracka.
How about an Anne chicken joke?
because it was riding a unicorn rainbow fairy to the mystical wood of treefuckerland!!!
LOL!
cracka’s seen my act!
actually I don’t even say the punch line, I just point to my shirt:
http://palmercash.com/p-326-mens-white-people-are-crazy-t-shirt.aspx
yo yo chicken joke:
why did the chicken cross the road?
you kids get off my lawn!
Damned ragamuffins!!
what a bunch of fags.
i mean it! that is one impressive bundle of sticks!!!
you whippersnappers keep it down!!!
Yo Yo is so old that when he says “fag” he probably is talking about a bundle of sticks.
“Said” it´s MINE!!!!
cracka steal form me…
said.
have you filled out the steal form 1047-B?
NO?!!
then you need to get in line over at the claims desk and bring that form to me with two valid forms of ID and a cheesy bean burrito from taco bell. i’m starving.
Yu Yu likes something that we use to call “sticky dicky”…
explain yourself Yu YU!!!
Fugging foreigners. Get back on my lawn!
Eh! You’re not Mexican? Then GET OFFA MY LAWN!
What the hell does everybody want with my Gran Torino?
Lerbman, when it comes to being funny you make ben look like Richard Pryor.
I’m submitting this to the book about closeted homophobic retards:
“yu yu like sticky dicky! explain yourself yu yu!”
yes explain, then PM Lerbman.
I used to stack fucks like you five feet high in Korea, used you for sandbags.
…..and yo yo was 164 at the time.
A General rolled up in his jeep and asked, “Is Yo Yo Ready? Yes? Then we can fight!”
And I was only twelve at the time.
um…..
ONE!
fuck!!!!!
ONE???
yeah, one, that’s how many there can be…
grow, penis, GROW!!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!
don’t sulk, josh, you gotta admit—i was due.
(sigh)
okay, dr. lerbwoman, everytime you post on a century mark (100,200,300, etc.) you get what we call a “quickening”. each quickening makes your dick bigger. but be careful!!! God can penis smite you any time He wishes and BAM!! you’re starting back at nothing!!!
Josh, cracka needs it. As Nun points out, he’s a ¼ inch from being an ‘innie’.
Lerbman, do you understand about century quickenings?
your penis will never grown cracka…
don´t be ridiculous…. and don´t waste your time either!
Well said, cracka.
said.
supported.
Josh has grown accustomed to stealing the quickening. I swear that guy is black!!
Dr. Lerbwoman, you are denying God’s ability. He may smite you for your impudence!
i now that cracka… my
was to josh on the other comment…
not denying but God will never make cracka´s penis grown, because he will be againt himself, because He was the one that smited cracka´s dick …
UM…wtf kind of logic are you to trying to express with that rudamentary hodge-podge of words, mr. lerbwoman?
yoyo’s right, like i said yesterday, i need at least 8 quickenings per week. it’s exhausting. if i was black, i’d have to avoid quickenings so i wouldn’t inadvertantly destroy my wife’s womb forever. crazy, huh?
my comment lerbman is saying you’re not funny.
and I think you’re gay, but not in the corny Jew “josh is a fag” way, but in the Curtis is actually gay way.
Cracka, you were due. BUt I can still be pissed.
i mean:
rudimentary.
Him dammit!!!
God made you dickless, why should He give a penis again
it would be against His first will!!!
Why do you think he’s gay, Josh? I think your gaydar sucks in a completely non-effectual kind of way.
because he tries to hard to express he is not gay, couple that with the fact that he throws out feelers like “Yu yu like sticky dicky” that is so nonsequetor to the conversation at hand, I would say lerbman is either a flaming closet homo or actually just a woman.
josh sucks a lot…
better:
JOSH SWALLOW!!!!!
He’s Brazilian with a really poor grasp of the written English language. “Sticky dicky” could mean a corndog or something benign like that. He could even mean Nixon who was “tricky dicky”. Seriously, the guy really sucks at English… that doesn’t mean he’s a homo.
shut up josh…
how can you be so damn stupid ?
really ?
i can´t believe this….
think what ever your small brain wants…
damn, sticky dicky was on porpouse…
hey Nun…
i got something nice!!
a brand new chiba!!
Made in Peru!
yum yum….
Bah!! I get sweet shit grown by hydroponics across the border or the shit the UW cultivates. I’ve never had Peruvian chiba though… is it good?
yeap…
very nice, looks like cottom…
i´m starting to grown some stuff here, because here weed is very poor you know ?
but i got some nice seeds, creep and stuff..
i was thinking like BubleGum, but it takes 7 months to grown, pure sativa!! heheheheheh
but white window is good too and takes 2 months to grown!
323-
see, nun was right! sticky dicky is brazilian for porpoise!
“yoyo is a marine mammal enthusiast.”
lerb-God can change His divine mind whenever He wants. He often does so. we are too stupid to grasp His infinite wisdom.
damn, isn´t it dangerous to get it across the border ?
I’m not the pack-mule, Herbman. From what I understand, there are a fair amount of underground tunnels.
but that doesn´t work for you cracka boy…
And yeah… I know about your Mexican dirt weed. That shit is good for giving you a headache and not much else.
hmmm…
what could we do under those tunnels Nun…
no one will hear you screaming!!
JUST SAY NO TO SHWAG!
Hey, it makes you pretty hungry too!!
auhauhauhauahuah
only someone as high and foreign as lerb would think
“no one will hear you screaming” is a good pickup line.
“yoyo is a marine mammal enthusiast.”
Wait a minute, frolicing with dolphins is some kind of gay dream-metaphor.
So Dr. Lerbwoman is gay.
who asked for your opinion ?
i didn´t say that Yu Yu…
Unfortunately, I gotta agree with Cracka, Herbman. I’m not trying to recreate the rape scene from Straightheads.
Has anybody ever heard of the Dulce Base? I can’t believe I, an X-Files fanatic, had never heard of the damn place.
Two Florida priests were just sentenced to prison for stealing more than $8 million from their church. I wonder if any former altar boys will be their cellmates.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090325/us_nm/us_crime_priests_2;_ylt=ArfE7K2aB1kHBV132sGuH1RbbBAF;_ylu=X3oDMTE2dDA4dG5mBHBvcwMzBHNlYwN5bi1yLWItbGVmdARzbGsDZXYtZmxvcmlkYXBy
who said i was going to rape you babe ?
it´s not my style!
Then why would I be screaming, Herbman? Screaming isn’t really a good thing, unless you’re thinking about moaning and then there’s a big difference between the two.
Dulce Base.. anyone??
you scream is disgust, when i ask make you put on strapon and do me and then you give dirty sanchez to me face.
it ‘ s my style!
it´s all in my brain!!
I don’t know about the dirty sanchez but I’ve done the strapon thing before so I believe you have underestimated me.
damn… im no longer comment here…
even here there are jelousy people who isn´t happy with their own personality…
_)_
it’s all in his brain, guys.
yep.
it’s all in his brain.
Sorry Nun, never heard of it, had to google Dulce Base.
God, sorry!!
but this is my last comment here, i will always pray to you!!!
remember the COVENANT you bastards!!!!
lerb,
you’re starting to concern me. you may have a psychosexual disorder. if it’s not in DSM IV, it will definitely be in DSM V.
later, lerb.
thanks for giving us “said”
and a few brilliant comments among the refuse of mind vomit that you posted here.
(he’ll be back)
it all goes to the brain cracka boy!!!
no problem cracka boy, anytime…
i just really don´t know how they got my email…
just one more thing:
JOSH SUCKS A COLD HARD WOOD FOR SOME COLD HARD CASH!!!!!!
said.
Herbman said: “even here there are jelousy people who isn´t happy with their own personality…”
You sound suspiciously like Gwyneth Paltrow, Herbman.
What’d you think, Yo? Fucking crazy shit is what I say. I’m also horribly disappointed in myself… just about everything they say about Dulce base was featured on The X-Files… aliens working with humans, alien hybrids, clones… the whole fucking thing. I feel ignorant.
don’t hate me Lerbman, I only called you on your bullshit so you resort to calling me gay. Exhibit D in my Lerbman is a homo case.
does this constitute divine retribution? if so, why is God smiting churches. i thought He only murdered the children of abortionist…or as punishment for king david’s infidelity. then again, king david’s kid deserved that one.
“17 injured after tornado rips through Mississippi HOLBROOK MOHR, Associated Press Writer Holbrook Mohr, Associated Press Writer – 1 hr 10 mins ago MAGEE, Miss. – Severe weather across the South unleashed tornadoes in rural Mississippi, including one that shattered dozens of homes, FLATTENED A CHURCH and injured at least 17 people, authorities said Thursday.”
Who fucking cares!! Aliens are gonna take over the world and we’re all gonna be slaves!!
i don´t hate you josh…
i just don´t like you know ?
UAHUAhuaHUah
bullshit, you are all awesome…
Heh, sounds like they kept it very quiet. Scary stuff!
“we’re all gonna be slaves!!”
Sex slaves?
NO!!! Slaves for aliens. Thank God for the clones, they’ll probably be the first to go.
i will never be a sex slave…
i am a SEX BOMB!!!!
JAH GONNA START THIS REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all the aliens are rastafari…
they are all good people… their chiba is the best!
The greys don’t seem particularly nice. Chris Carter was trying to warn us of impending doom.
nun, maybe, just maybe—chris carter is crazy.
show-awesome
chris carter-crazy
Just because he’s crazy doesn’t mean he’s wrong.
Fairies protect people from aliens. Mine are telling me to watch out for Dr. Lerbwoman.
it is said that…
there are claims…
it is rumored…
some have speculated…
after that, say whatever the fuck you want about it.
it is rumored that nun’s vagina is a secret lab used in clandestine experiments involving direct genetic manipulation.
If you only believe what you can see then you’re a bigger idiot than I had previously thought, Cracka. I do believe the government keeps secrets from us. I do believe they are farther along in genetic advances then the public realizes. I have no problem believing in underground military installations. I don’t discount the fantastic just because I haven’t seen it for myself.
L woman is on vacation too…
and again, we are not the same person!!
and i totally agree with you Nun.
said.
Nun is right on every count. I have friends in Western Maryland who are employed by the government, and even the president doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing. One of these friends is on my Facebook … you would never guess … it’s counter-intuitive.
Lerbman, I thought you were leaving.
josh, you are a fool…
im not really leaving, i was angry with those people using my name to comment here…
that´s too low…
this peruvian skunk is awesome…
no comments…
i am a ganja connoisseur….
ahh lerbman, you lack the courage of any conviction.
and you’re gay.
shutupben
Josh,
supported.
One of Dr. Herbman’s personalities must have a personality. We haven’t met that one yet.
Josh, i think you are the fag that is using my name, you are the gay one, all jelousy and shit…
nobody likes black gay mens like yourself…
i will try not to come back, but God´s word is very very important to me…
one good thing about all my personalities, anne freaking johnson, is that all the them don´t like you…
all of them*
Herbman,
If someone is indeed impersonating you then they are doing so with your email address as the gravatar is the same. Who knows the email address you use to post here?
Dr. Herbman said:
nobody likes black gay mens like yourself…
oh herbman. you mean you don’t like black gay males, you prefer the lighter skinned ones.
Personally I don’t like you because you’re an dull one trick pony who adds nothing to the conversation but inane stupidity wrapped in a stones visage. Your posts are like the Saw movies, every-time you turn around there is a new one, but they have not been good for a long time.
it has to be the L woman impersonating him or someone else who works at the dick sucking factory.
if no one knows what the government is doing, then how the fuck do “ufologists” know? i never said i didn’t believe there are things we don’t know. i’m just saying that most people are bad at critical thinking and go straight to confirmation bias, thereby rendering 99% of what is said and written into the “who gives a fuck?” pile. so, being a conspiracy theorists in no way makes you intellectually superior or more virtuosly “open-minded”. don’t go gettin’ all bridgette-brained on me, people.
that last sentence might have been a little over the top. should have just called you fags.
one
One what?
oops hit enter before I finished typing.
one more thing Lerbman, I thought you were leaving.
Cracka said: “so, being a conspiracy theorists in no way makes you intellectually superior”
Nor does poo-pooing conspiracy theorists make you superior intellectually. You look extremely arrogant at times, Cracka.
Speaking of gays, I totally feel cheated that Curtis left and was replaced by lerbman. Talk about a shitty trade.
ONE!!!
there is a kid here in NYC who runs around with 9-11 was in inside job shirts and he is always at ground 0 with his sandwich board. I took a class with him at the local community television station, he’s a nut. if conspiracy theorists are all as crazy as him, i might not even want to see Nun’s crazy. titties
There…
“Personally I don’t like you because you’re an dull one trick pony who adds nothing to the conversation but inane stupidity wrapped in a stones visage. Your posts are like the Saw movies, every-time you turn around there is a new one, but they have not been good for a long time.”
imy question is:
who is the gay here josh ?
i just don´t give s shit….
ONE!!!
Can only be…
Some of the 911 conspiracy theorists are nuts, Josh. But they’re not all crazy. I believe the government was at least aware if not responsible. And for all you who think I’m crazy for believing that, remember all the people who claimed that the government knew about Pearl Harbor and everybody said they were crazy too. Some people are just too closed-minded and arrogant to open their minds.
ha ha trick question
I am the gay here !
Cracka, where were you?
Josh, well-played! I bet you you can buy stuff in the last ten microseconds on eBay autions, too. (Quick with the click, and all that.)
And some people are far too gullible and believe the government tell us everything.
Ok Nun,
You’ve convinced me; I will look at your titties and judge for myself. Please send pictures immediately. THank you.
“I’m from the Government, and I’m here to help you.”
I only fell for that once.
i knew it was you josh…
i don´t need a picture….
i had those titties….
Yes Herbman, I took a plane to Brazil, found out where you worked. Dressed up like the janitor and sat behind you while you typed away. Then I took a plane back here to the USA and used your email. You’re not only gay you’re stupid to boot.
going for a ride….
on his boyfriend’s cock
don´t be ridiculous josh…
“you have tha right to remain in silence….”
BUSTED!!!!!
you are so gay josh…
you are the only one that is always talking about gay stuff…
He’s typing, he’s trying to communicate, but I’m not sure what he’s saying. Sometimes I think he’s jealous of Josh, or calls him gay (wishful thinking), claims Josh has highjacked his email address, etc.
NUN-394
you’re the only one calling people idiots for disagreeing with you after transposing their comments into your preferred context.
“pooh-pooh”-haha!
how do you know i look arrogant if all you can see is a jaundiced circle?
that’s the funniest thing you’ve said on this blog, and it was by accident.
just so you know if I were to “remain in silence” it would imply that you (and everyone else here) has to STFU. Why don’t you lead the charge?
nun, i have never, once in my life, in the history of conversations on the topic, ever met a person who thinks the government tells us everything. i have met many, many people who will say that government keeps secrets to avoid mass pandemonium and therefore it is impossible to know what’s going on. then, in the next sentence, proceed to tell me exactly what’s going on.
This is what I said, Cracka: “If you only believe what you can see then you’re a bigger idiot than I had previously thought, Cracka.”
Maybe you should learn to read as I said you’re an idiot if you only believe what you can see. I never said that you’re an idiot for not believing what I believe. I stand by my comment.
That’s probably because your comprehension sucks, Cracka.
and, my point in the “intellectually superior” comment was that you, when we’re on a serious topic and not a joke bender, are the only calling anyone besides bridgette an “idiot”. i never claimed intellectual superiority. i made some lame joke about “allegedly” this and “according to unnamed sources” that. you told me i’m an idiot if i…and you filled in the blank about what i think. so, now accepting apologies at the 1st Ave nightclub, downtown minneapolis, from 8pm to midnight tonight. handsome furs show-ben, they will be in ames, iowa tomorrow.
damnit!
you’re a sneaky one, nun. with your subtle insults equipped with built in retractions!!! this is how women win every argument.
“if that’s what you think, then you’re an idiot”
“did you just call me an idiot”
“no”
“what?”
“you’re an idiot for not seeing that i didn’t call you an idiot”
“what the fuck?”
fuck it, i’m done.
i’m an idiot.
ben, shut the fuck up.
If the idiot shoe fits, wear the fucker. I will not apologize for stating the obvious and the obvious is that if people only believe in what they see then they are closed-minded idiots. That’s too bad if it hurts your sensitive little feelings.
hold on, got it.
“bigger idiot than i previously thought.”
implying, of course, that i am an idiot to an unspecified degree.
hahahahahahaha!!!!
nun’s a whore.
now, i’m done.
and what at point in my 12 months of coming here did i give you the impression that i have “sensitive little feelings”?
said.
shut up, ben.
God is great.
Well, duh… you’re an idiot and I’m a slut. Don’t be such a fucking pussy, Cracka. But maybe I shouldn’t include joke-bending in with seriousness because some are just too sensitive to handle such a thing.
“if people only believe in what they see then they are closed-minded idiots”
by the same dynamic, then, can we agree that people who believe that they have verifiable, first-hand knowledge of what they don’t see are open-minded idiots?
“some are just too sensitive to handle such a thing.”
i just like arguing, it keeps me on my toes for my marriage arguments. i know what to look out for when she comes at me with the “you’re an idiot if” speech.
the best way out of an argument is to say nothing, take off her clothes and just go down on her until she comes.
I think we can probably agree that only an idiot would make a statement such as: people who believe that they have verifiable, first-hand knowledge of what they don’t see are open-minded idiots
Unless that person doesn’t quite understand what “verifiable” means. Then they’re just a fucking idiot.
Look up “if”, Cracka. It will save you some grief and tears.
verifiable - capable of being tested (verified or falsified) by experiment or observation
seems to work in my idiotic sentence, whore!!!!
just as i suspected:
if
conj
1. in the event that, or on condition that: if you work hard you’ll succeed
2. used to introduce an indirect question to which the answer is either yes or no; whether: it doesn’t matter if the play is any good or not
3. even though: a splendid if slightly decaying house
4. used to introduce an unfulfilled wish, with only: if only you had told her
Noun
a condition or stipulation: there are no hidden ifs or buts [Old English gif]
We always kill and eat the sensitive ones around here. Then God brings some of them back to life.
Too bad you’re not capable of comprehending what you just read.
Shut up, Nun.
You’re an idiot.
okay.
another original insult from miss originality 2009.
Fuck off, Hume. I don’t think anybody here even likes you.
Shut up, Anne.
You’re also an idiot.
perhaps nun’s trying to say that one cannot take in observational data over something one cannot see???
Boo fucking hoo, bitch.
I hope I don’t lose sleep.
I’m a nice partner to your Mr. Originality 2009. Mr She’s a Whore!
Dead people don’t sleep, idiot.
nun, the only one here anybody consistently likes is yoyo. probably because he’s so old and harmless.
what, do i say whore too much?
ladies and gentleman, allow me to present mr. and ms. originality 2009!!! we should dance to the x files theme only wrapped in full body condoms like in naked gun.
It shows your lack of creativity but I believe I’ve already mentioned that lack of penis kills creativity so it’s not like you can be blamed for that.
I don’t like Yo Yo, he’s mean and hurts my feelings like you do.
At the risk of getting caught in the middle …
Cracka, there are some things that can be inferred without visual evidence. If I have a friend who is a PK who never lies, and he tells me he works on the most top secret stuff for Interpol, and he has a security clearance with the Israeli secret service along with his U.S. clearance, which he says is higher than the president’s, and he’s otherwise sane and highly solvent, can I infer that he knows things that perhaps even our president doesn’t know about international security (or lack thereof)?
that way we won’t cross contaminate our various smite-diseases and form something that destroys all human life.
I’m always down for condom dancing. The condom scene in Skin Deep is better than Naked Gun though.
And I do believe Hume is idiotic enough to believe that Cracka and I hate on each other.
Hume, as always, has added immeasurably to this lively debate.
sure, johnson, you can make inferrences in that regard. but, i had a rebuttal all set to go and you ruined the moment, thanks.
Anne,
While that is most likely to be true, I don’t think it can be verified. Cracka doesn’t know what “verifiable” means. He tries but he’s not too bright.
i have to do work now. fuck!
you guys better insult each other while i’m gone or i’ll, i’ll, i’ll drink a lot!!!
nun, i know what verifiable means. some people are so convinced that….
son of a bitch!!!
nevermind, whore!!!
Nun, you are clearly Mensa material, so I should
just leave you alone and let you get back to your
job at the Jet Propulsion Lab.
And Anne, stick to tutoring Jersey retards in the
subject/verb/object structure so that they may one
day rise to the middle at Target.
anne,
based on the fact you believe in fairies, I think you coming to Nun’s aid does not really help her on this one.
Hume,
WTF are you talking about?
I’ve gotta laugh when I see cracka get all worked up, knowing that he’s going to go out and jab an IV in some bad-tempered fat old hag. Who isn’t me!
Josh - yeah, I thought of that. I believe in a lot of shit that can’t be seen.
Also, PLEEEEEZE don’t ask Hume to explain himself. We’ll drown in bad poetry and lame pussy prose.
Josh: Fuck off, fag.
good come back!
My hats off to you and your originality as well as the way you clarified your earlier points.
Anne: And you’re dick jokes and pagan bullshit are pure gold that shall echo through the ages?
I think Cracka might have been legitimately offended when he though I really called him an idiot until he realized that he really is an idiot. I feel sorry for Cracka sometimes.
Now you’re a whiny fag.
yeah Anne, your jokes are pure bullshit.
Take a note from Hume, his ingenious way of insulting your vagina (already done better when cracka talks to Nun) and your pagan religion (already done, and better by God) is the stuff of lore. books will be written and songs will be sung about Hume’s golden wit.
hume,
do me a favor and say fag again. That’s pure comedy gold!!!!
I’m calling Judy Gold right now and have her amend the comedy bible, and set aside one whole chapter for Hume. He’s the next Lenny Bruce! You’re on your way man!
“Fag!” Priceless.
Quit trying so hard, Josh.
Not trying to be funny, ya shitbird.
I just think you’re a fag.
A whiny one, at that.
At least Josh is interesting, Hume. You have absolutely nothing going for you at all, except that you’re dead.
don’t piss on lenny bruce’s grave. he’s one of my heroes.
i don’t know why you guy’s are hating hume so much. his/her comments are at least abusive enough to fit right in.
by all means, call me a fag, hume, you dead poetry-fag!
hume, you’re not trying to be funny? every other post of yours is some absurd surreal ranting about Anne’s vagina. You’re not trying to make jokes? That’s just how you talk?
“Hey Hum you have those reports ready”
“Boss your putrid woman pit swallowed my reports and your cavernous gaping anus ate my computer”
Tell that story to ben, cuz I aint buying it.
cat fight!!!
Nun said: “I don’t like Yo Yo, he’s mean and hurts my feelings like you do.”
Gosh darn it, someone needs a hug! C’mere!
Cracka and Nun, do you two have makeup sex after these fights?
yoyo uses a special kind of hug.
you might like it.
if you sit on grampa’s lap and he pops a boner-that’s grosser than gross.
You really do think I care about your opinion, don’t you, Josh?
Now that is truly funny.
yoyo-this is the “internet”. it’s just for pretend.
we aren’t even real.
I still got half a bottle of (expired) Viagra to use up. It’s been fun feeding it to the pidgeons.
What Cracka said. Besides, hetero sex requires one of the partners to have a penis and we all know poor Cracka’s predicament.
we are figments of nun’s open mind.
which means anyone who doesn’t believe in us is an idiot.
Cracka said: “it’s just for pretend.”
What, the fight or the sex?
Nun penis-faced, you, cracka!
hey, i got quite the quickening today, whore!!!!
yoyo-486
yes.
and i can’t agree with the obvious penis joke face. is there a form i can fill out to file a grievance…have it reviewed by the committee?
Speaking of drinking after work, some of us are going to the local pub after work. Someone got layed off, so we had a quick whip-round for a gift, and will see if we can get her drunk.
#480 Hume,
If you really didn’t care you would not read my post and then reply. There would be nothing.
#486 Yo Yo,
Cracka said: “it’s just for pretend.”
What, the fight or the sex?
Nun would say his penis.
I need a drink - I helped the office lesbian (lipstick, not diesel dyke) move her desk, she looks fine.
Josh gets a double penis-face!
no thank you on that double penis face. Don’t want to infringe on Lerbman patent.
#489 - As usual, you make speak directly with God at any time. All judgments are final.
I wonder if Lerbwoman is di-phallic?
nope
there can………..
be only………..
I just like to make you mad, Josh.
And now that you’re trying to talk about feelings,
well, shit — I guess you really are a whiny fag, eh?
one!!!
you guys are right about this hume guy.
fuck you, hume!!!
you stole my quickening!!!
Fvck, I hope God noticed, and can use His Infinite Mercy to help poor Cracka. This I pray.
well done hume.
for the record, it’s all shits and giggles here. I thought the whole point of this blog was God put us all here to fight it out for His favor. He even added fuel to the fire with that divine comment thing.
I only wish Hume and Lerbman had better comebacks than “Josh is a fag.” It was funny when Jew first did it about 40 blogs ago, but now it’s just derivative.
And I didn’t even try.
Now, I will fuck off.
vaya con Dios cracka
supported.
“hume Cronyn” is an anagram of “Cry Me Nun Oh”.
we speak american here, hume.
if you don’t like it———
you can geeeeeeeeeeeeeeet out.
Josh said: “for the record, it’s all shits and giggles here.”
Indeed. You sensitive little faggies.
They took our jobs!
Josh, you’ve been relatively quiet the last week or so, everything OK?
Now I’m fucking off for real.
Go with God, all you crazy maladjusted
fuckers.
Yo yo,
I got a new job that requires me to clean up baby shit.
Hume did a South Park reference which means he can’t be all bad.
Hume,
Have fun fucking off
Josh, I guess you have to do what you have to do in these thin times. Have you tried getting a wife?
Actually, it doesn’t smell bad - yet. Wait until you start feeding him solid foods!
IS HUME ACCUSING ME OF BEING MALADJUSTED?!!!!
YOU ARE INTELLECTUALLY INFERIOR, HUME!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have declared this comment divine.
I do so because it brought Me exactly one chuckle.
thank You, Sir!!!
i chuckled once myself.
Cracka, God (in His Most Infinite and Just Mercy) took care of you - guess you don’t need a quickening!
cracka’s penis grew three sizes that day…
cue nun-
good for you, cracka, that bumps you up to size XXXXXXXS!!!
whore.
Time to go to the pub. ‘And after eating buffalo wings and popcorn chicken, Yo Yo’s heart (and waistline) enlarged three times its normal size’.
God only loves you because you’re a closed-minded idiot, Cracka.
God loves close-minded idiots?
well, might makes right, nun.
shut up, ben.
fuck off, hume.
said, bitches.
it feels like a jack daniels night.
Okay. Just as I’m sure Herbman and L Woman are two different people, and just as I’m sure Bridgette is a legitimate inbred retard, and not some creation by one of us, I’m equally sure that the nasty Hume present this afternoon is not the same Hume that takes useless jabs at my twat. It’s more than the different avatar. It’s tonal, dontcha know?
My nutcase radar goes off every time someone says something snarky about my students.
Of course he does, moron. Look at His followers.
Hume is probably God on a Divine Ether Binge. Later He’ll look at what He wrote and just think “WTF! Damned ether!”.
cracka still needs like 500 more quickenings to get the dick of a bird…
Anyone can say anything they like about my pussy, but FUCK OFF MY STUDENTS OR I TAKE MY FAIRIES AND MOVE ON!
Herbman, your interest in cracka’s dick size is suspicious. Why would you care … fag?
He may be a hollow horny zombie, but my Hume wouldn’t insult disadvantaged minority students, especially using Target as an example. Hume and I never shopped at Target. It didn’t even exist when we died.
However, I do not discount the possibility that Hume would call you “crazy maladjusted fuckers,” because he knows a crazy maladjusted fucker when he sees one … in the mirror.
My liebling!
the recent post of Dr. Herbman reflects a remarkable jump in his grasp of the english language.
To quote Yo Yo, “Herbman you just broke my bullshit meter.”
It’s another personality of one of you fuckers.
thank you josh.
welcome very you are
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYIcYoOqxTo
This is a fucking train wreck and I couldn’t stop watching. I don’t know what was more hypnotic, Double R’s fat fattiness jiggling on the screen or Ted(who has lost a TON of weight) and his empty skin pouch jiggling on the screen. Poor Ted, I wish he would have won.
For the record, The Men’s Room is cool but The BJ Shea show sucks ass. The guy with the mic that was interviewing Double R at the end is Ricker, he’s pretty fucking cool. After 10 am, KISW is pretty solid.
Two avatars: The Good Lord has granted me two; work and home.
And you know what, Anne? You’re right.
Ragging on disadvantaged minorities is wrong.
Sorry.
The meek shall inherit the earth and whatnot.
so much depends upon
anne’s black
gina
glazed with love water
beside the white
cracka
Josh My humble servant, you have become far too paranoid.
Dr. Herbman is not one of you. He is currently vacationing in Manáus, Brazil, which is in the Amazon.
Herbman has parrots for breakfast, and the only kind of rubber he knows about is the stuff they get out of trees.
I love the smell of insults in the morning. Smells like … victory.
G’day, all. Raining, gloomy here, I wanted to stay in bed. I checked Forbe’s list of billionaires, I wasn’t on it, so had to come to work.
Last night’s pub crawl went OK - no one acted up enough to get us tossed out, or have the bartender ‘warn’ us to shape up. Must have ate a bad buffalo wing - I felt nauseous this morning. Or maybe that was the normal reaction to going to work.
ouch. is it morning again? fuck.
dr. lerbwoman.
i fart in your general direction.
hume-538
that was your best literature adaptation yet.
Dr. Lerbwoman….
Did u get my message?
What the fuck happened? And where the hell are u now?
I’m not in vacation like u.
I’ve been far from the holy blog cos I came to work only on Tuesday and today.
My girlfriend crashed my motorcycle on Monday.
I’m having headache due to it
Fucking bitches!!
Fucking bitches?
I think I have to move somewhere warm. Any suggestions? I’ve always liked Albuquerque.
Why you want to move Nun?
Fucking bitches are always dropping bikes and wrecking them, Yo. You can’t trust most bitches with a motorcycle.
I have health issues, L. Blah, blah, blah… cursed mortal bodies.
Nun, don’t be such a whore.
Why you want to move anyway?
Go to Florida to work at Disney World.
Helth issues.
That syphilis thing?
Ummm… I don’t like people enough to work at Disney World. You’d hear some story about some employee going wacko and beating the crap out of the visitors… that would be me.
AND I AM NOT A WHORE!!
Damn you, L. DAMN YOU!! 
I’ve lived comfortably with the evil Irish syphillis and my hideous deformities my whole life. I’ve grown used to them and would feel like nothing if I wasn’t deformed and riddled with the Irish syphillis so, no.
Sorry Nun, I couldn’t help it.
You are funny when you’re angry.
But don’t worry, you’re my favorite.
By the way, folks, let me know if Dr. Lerbwoman comes back.
Something funny happened here but I cannot tell u, he would get pissed.
L Woman, don’t be a tease!
Nun, I have a relative who moved to Houton from Maine, he likes the winters but the summers are brutal.
Sounds like you want a dry climate, maybe Las Vegas or something?
Him dammit! Houton=Houston!
Ok.
I’ll leave it with you guys.
You are good teasers!
Yeah, I need dry and more sunlight. I can’t do the summers in Arizona because I’m a pussy. Texas would probably be the same boat.
Maybe Santa Barbara
It’s a beautiful place
Hmmm… L Woman, you have started calling Dr. Herbman ‘Lerbwoman’, like the rest of us.
summers in Texas are much much worse than summer in Arizona. I have family in both. I know it’s cliche but the heat in Arizona is a dry heat. IN Texas you melt, plus everyone there is a total fat ass.
I guess I should clarify that it’s southern Arizona that kills me. I was actually fine with north Arizona but all the people there are old and drive like shit.
Yes Yo Yo, I liked it.
BTW, who created it?
So Nun, wants a warm place.
What is your occupation? Depending on that we could suggest other things.
Actually, sugget other places.
Well, do you want to do the same thing you’re doing now or you want to start your own business?
L,
My career is such that I could find a position just about anywhere that has civilization so that knocks out South America and Africa which makes me sad.
Damn you bush monkeys!! 
Ok,
Go to India!
hmmm….india…brown peni, hey? how does that work for you, nun? you could seek out the temple of doom and free some enslaved children.
I think Indian penises are small. Not to mention that India stole all our jobs so I would just get a job over there that I should have had over here. Basically, fuck India!!
move to Argentina. great place.
INdia is a great place to visit. You can live like a king for a modest amount. The Taj Mahal is amazing.
shut up, josh. we’ve clearly decided that today the best thing to hate is india and you go saying nice things about it. josh, fuck india.
Josh, she wants a warm place.
Argentina can be pretty cold.
The place should be warm all over the year. Just like where I am now.
I want to move to a cold place.
Canada would be fine.
Yeah Crack, todai is the Fuck India Day!
today
FUCK FUCKING INDIA, MAN!!!
Man, fuck those fucking Indians and their stupid fucking country. FUCK!!
Ok, it is just as you said.
Fuck, fuck, fuck
Fuck you Slumdog Millionaire!
Okay, seriously… I know South America has some civilization in little tiny civilized pockets of bush-monkey land. How do they feel about ex-patriated gringos, L?
L woman,
Parts or Argentina are cold but the more northern parts stay warm most of the time.
Nun,
For a blonde white woman with big tits, they would love you.
all you need is a sexy nazi uniform and they’ll treat you like royalty. just grow out your hitler moustache! heil chiba!
you know what reeeeeeeally pisses me off??? that lilting sissy gandhi (ghandi?)!!! hate him!!! passive resistance is for fags!!!!!!!!!
why is it that when indians come to america they still eat curry for every meal? what’s with the fucking curry?! have a slice of pizza!! have a damn waldorf salad for all i care, but please, pleeeeeeeeease get that curry stink out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i had a pretty cool apartment once. until the curry people moved in and started cooking—-all day, every day. i had to move because of the stink.
Other countries cook stinky food. They should try to be more like Americans.
Here in South American people kisse ex-patriated asses.
Specially when they’re woman.
And food wouldn’t be a problem.
Well, here in Manaus you find pizza in every corner.
do you guys have any south american restaurants in your cities? i can only think of one here. they put tomatoes in everything. almost as dumb as that one other stupid country.
yeah we have tons in NYC. Food from all over the world. but mexicans in every restaurant.
Is that so Cracka??
I wonder why so many potato. We don’t eat it that much.
Do you like fish Nun? You would have to eat a lot of fish here.
L woman eats lots of fish.
BA-ZING!!!
I LOVE fish, L. People will say I’m a lesbian now but I don’t care.
What the hell is Ba-Zing?
It means Josh thinks he’s witty but he’s really just retarded. Go with it or you’ll hurt his retarded feelings.
motherfucker.
Ba-Zing is something you say after you’ve made a crappy joke.
My joke was since you have a girlfriend you eats lots of fish. Shitty joke, but you gave the perfect setup.
one!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nun,
if you for an instant think a shitty word pun is a joke I’m making for reals, then you’re as dumb as your vagina is wide.
i now transfer my hatred from india to josh. do you feel that, josh??? that’s my hate. no, not that…that, right there…you feel that??? hate, motherfucker, black, black, black hate.
now, substitute the word hate for something else and read again. it’s like dirty madlibs.
Well Nun, there are many things to do here. It just depends on what you looking for.
that’s a refreshingly simple vaginaFACE, josh.
josh is a REAL comedian, you know.
I’m always looking for cock, L. I like cock.
Josh,
You’re a retarded ching-chong, that’s what I think. The only time you’re ever funny is when I look at you, funny looking retard.
Ok Josh, I got it.
Lerbwoman,
nun is looking for chiba, big dicks and x-files seasons 1-9 to be released on blu-ray.
L Woman, I am not sure who came up with Lerbwoman, I called Dr. Herb Herbmoan, and some else came up with Lerbwoman, which is better.
Nun you hurt my last living feeling.
I hate India. ben should move there.
I started calling him Lerbman, then someone else perfected it to Lerbwoman.
I hate curry. There was an Indian restaurant near where I worked, I had to hold my breathe when I went past.
you guys should visit india.
you’ll get a laugh at how poor those people are, all while you drink fine wine and have servants do everything for you.
Chiba… easy to find everywhere in South America.
Big dick… in Bahia they have huge black dicks.
X-Files 1-9 blu ray… Amazon.com
i did it. i can’t sit idly by and miss out on the opportunity to be admired for my creative brilliance.
dr. lerbwoman!!! that was me!!!!
ME!!!! TELL ME I’M FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!
Doc Herb’s new name creation sounds like evolution in action, Josh!
Cracka, you forgot the Ka-Zing!
I hate Indian cars. The Indians steal world oil to run shitty little Tatas that seat a family of fifteen (ten in the trunk, three in the glove box).
Lerbwoman is definitely the best!
ka-zing!!!!
Sorry, retard.
L,
X-Files seasons 1-9 are not available on Blu-Ray and probably never will be.
i got three words for ya:
bolly fucking wood
try to swallow your vomit
Josh, do comedians still get a rimshot when they tell a joke, or did that die out with Shecky and Red Buttons?
(rimshot)
you’re funny cracka, too bad you’re a cracka.
just made indian food for lunch, coconut shrimp with parata. Good indian food doesn’t have curry in it. YOu guys are thinking of the Jamaicans of haitians, island folk.
HA!! Alfie Patten is not the father of that baby that skanky little tramp birthed. There is a moratorium on the subject in the UK so the media can’t report on it but The Daily Mirror did and then promptly removed it. That allowed the rest of the freakin’ world(who did not agree to the moratorium) to pick it up.
not here. the indians here put curry in everything. they’re idiots. that’s why i hate them…
josh, ever hear of maria bamford? she’s at the acme comedy club tonight. i like to support the funny people…unless they suck.
Ok folks, I have to go now.
If you see Dr. Lerbwoman, tell him to answer my message.
I have to check how much it will be to repair my motorcycle.
Bye!
God, why does nun insist on telling us about shit we don’t care about all the time?
Maria Bamford is the woman with the funny voice. She’s an alternative comic and hangs with Paton Oswald. Check out The Comedians of Comedy, she’s one of them. Very quirky.
Nun, did the skank-child lie, or did she really believe Alfie was the father?
Because she’s a woman Cracka. Because she’s a woman.
rimshot and Ba-Zing are the same thing, people say either.
Where is ben today?
Yo,
She did lie. She was a schoolgirl slut that, from the sounds of it, fucked all the boys who would lay with her. Her mother told her to lie because if Alfie was the father, they’d get more money for the press. Shameful.
I hope the mother gets raked over the coals!
I hope she does too. Her and octo-mom should be forced to cohabitate and not be allowed around their own offspring.
haha! josh-635. i like the clinical way you stated your trade knowledge. what a dork.
hi, i’m josh. i’m a comedian. it’s a common misperception among laymen that rimshot and ba-zing are somehow different. they’re not. i’m a comedian.
Cracka, Josh is a former network engineer, so I can understand his clinical detachment.
The pub bunch and I had lunch at a new restaurant. I had onion soup, very good, but everyone near me regrets it.
TIme to go ‘cropdust’ some cubicles.
don’t make it too obvious, yoyo. pace yourself. look nonchalant about it. whistle, say hi to people, don’t jiggle your pants around too much. and, whatever you do, do NOT shake out a pant leg.
ben.
i know your lurking.
shut up.
*i know you’re lurking.
Him-dammit!!!
but, if you have a lurking i’m sure i know it.
Cracka, I did OK. I avoided the elevator (baaad mistake to drop the A-bomb when you enter it), and circled all the way around this floor. Haven’t heard any complaints yet, but my eyes are watering.
if you ascend or descend to assault another floor, be careful in the stairwell. it may seem safe, but it’s like a fart enhancer in there. especially if you’re walking upstairs.
One of my coworkers did a fart ‘n dart on me last week. I’m giving him a ride home this afternoon.
My car’s electric windows will be locked.
I’m careful in the stairwells, too much echo.
hahahah
L woman don´t have enough status on the company to get on vacation…
what a shame!!
I am the king of the world.
L Woman vanished, Lerbwoman appears.
Coincidence? I think not.
smoking beloved blessed chiba, and my monkey brings my limonade every hour.
and jane is cooking for me right now!
what a life…
so lerbman,
what happened to you? I hear something funny.
yo yo #641,
exactly.
she is not vanished… i just spoke with her on the fucking phone, she is WORKING you piece of shit…
something you will never know what it feels like Yu Yu…
yes, dr. lerbwoman, you are obligated by some rule i haven’t thought of yet to tell us the funny story…
Yeah, well… L Woman says that something happened that would piss you off. If you’re the different monkeys that God says you are then I’m assuming that the “something” is somebody saw your name and email address at work and that is who has been impersonating you. It won’t be such a good life when you get fired for improper use of the internet at the one place in Brazil that gets the internet.
lerbwoman, trust me, yoyo knows EX-FUCKIN-ZACTLY what a piece of shit feels like.
so dude…
L woman saw funny on that, but not me…
i told my mom that i was on vacation and than i disapear…
and L told me my mom called my company to check if was really on vacation… and they started to trasnfer to others departments and shit…
my fucking mom…. what a bitch!
If the world you’re king of is Brazil, Dr. H., you can have it.
um…what?
lerb- a story usually has a beginning, middle and end. with stuff happening in there somewhere.
what you’ve given us is an incoherent mishmash of words and expletives.
No nun… i got plenty status on my company, i rule that shit!
nun, you’re our resident retard expert. can you translate that for us?
Well, we all get accused of living with our moms. I guess one of us really has to do it. I vote for Lerbwoman.
Your mom sounds like a wife.
I can translate! Lerbwoman lied to his mommy and snuck away like a (insert insult). She saw through his shitty fib and called his place of employment to check on him. His co-workers, being (insert insult), covered his ass.
“yoyo knows EX-FUCKIN-ZACTLY what a piece of shit feels like.”
Be more specific, man! Human? Dog? Monkey? Fresh? Crusted? Felt with hands, or stepped in?
Okay, Cracka… here we go…
First, Herbman has a wife that he likes to leave behind which pisses her off and she then tries to track him down.
Second, he has a black man that he calls a monkey(just like the rest of us) who brings him drinks at Herbman’s demand.
Third, he’s a low man on the totem pole with delusions of grandeur.
I think that just about covers what he’s told us today.
im lazy cracka…
after all im typping with one hand… the other one is hold the splif.
i didn´t lied to my mom… i told her the truth, she was the one that doesn´t believe me…
that’s not a spliff, lerbert, and i don’t recommend trying to burn it.
Anne and Nun, great translations!
And Doc, we know what you are holding when you type with one hand. Please, for the sake of the next person to use the computer, wipe down the monitor and keyboard with disinfectant!
im not fucking married like cracka boy….
i don´t give a shit about that…
two things i love, parties and pussies…
said.
Does anybody remember Bob Ross? The painter guy on PBS that would paint happy clouds and happy trees and then would ruin his happy paintings by putting a shack right in the middle of the beautiful, happy landscape he just painted. Man, I miss that guy. Watching him is cathartic.
you already burned your, isn´t cracka ?
if my dick was a spliff, all china population would get stoned!!
i would have to light it inside a vulcano…
said².
remember him?! hell, i model my life after the guy!!!
people who talk about how big their did is are usually making up stories and inches.
What is a “did”, retard?
Do you have the fro that he had, Cracka?
#674 defies translation.
Please note: I don’t talk about Little Yo Yo’s size.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross
I would have had that guy’s fro-headed babies.
that only works for you josh…
“Did”, I meant dick.
i had bob ross’ fro, then i cut it off.
delusions of dick grandeur.
A very common ailment among men, especially young men.
I would kill to see you with a fro, Josh. My ex bro-in-law was a fro-kid, I give him shit for it all the time.
Bob Ross fills me with love and pansy-ass feelings. I love you guys.
I love the little warnings at the beginning of Wickedpedia entries.
Warning: This is a poorly-written piece of shit
Warning: There’s no confirmation of the facts in this piece of shit.
One of my students has a fro! They’re back in vogue. But so are Mohawks. I’m sorry, but Mohawks can make a homie look like a hillbilly.
… with apologies to Mr. T.
Ah, time to go get my precious little Teenzilla from school. God forbid she should have to walk 1/4 A FUCKIN MILE HOME.
Warning: it is rumored that some people want to believe. the more outrageous your claim, the more people will want to believe it.
sadly, nun, i cannot grow the white guy fro. it’s a great look when properly executed. last night i spotted many a white guy fro, mostly bad ones though. i love hipsters. my favorite hipsters are the ones who think they nailed it but really look ridiculous. like the guys who wear so much mismatched vintage clothes that they end up looking like some sort of caricature of beck.
fat kids in skinny jeans with the sweep-do and horn-rimmed glasses. hey, fatty, they’re called “skinny” jeans for a reason. now, go home and listen to the decemberists and read the bell jar again, okay?
Mother fucker!!
Why are fucking PBS programs so God Damned expensive!?! 
http://www.bobross.com/supplies.cfm?type=Videos%20/%20DVDs&special=Instructional
I want the DVD Legacy for a mere grand. Somebody buy it for me.
steal it.
where is it?
let’s go bust in and take it.
pretty sure you should be able to interweb-thieve it somewhere.
well, i’m taking a late lunch.
keep josh from getting that quickening.
he’s dragging that thing around behind him as it is and it’s fucking embarrassing.
I’ve been pillaging Galactica 1980 for almost a week and I’m not even half way done. I suspect that Joy of Painting is just as popular so the pillaging could take well over a year. I’d rather just show somebody my boobies and have them buy it for me.
Hope you get the quickening, cracka. Nun says you need it.
There can only be…
there can be what, yoyo?
what’s that? oh, i get it.
there can be….
ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i actually came back downstairs halfway through lunch to do that.
i’m serious.
this is getting out of hand.
but, i just can’t quit you guys! you’re like gay cowboys and i’m like a gay cowboy addict…….i said “like” not “am”.
nun, for a thousand dollars you should be prepared to offer more than a glance at some malformed areola on a translucent bag of curdled goatmilk.
Hurf, thanks for that mental picture, cracka. Feh.
a bit wordy, but effective.
i set my hangover recovery back two hours just typing those words out.
here’s what you do, nun: pretend to have an awful illness…even more awful than the irish syphillis—just make something up. nun’s disease. then, have a benefit dinner. you should clear a thousand dollars easy.
for the shipping, you may need to yank out all of your loser kid’s teeth and cash in on his tooth fairy dues all at once.
johnson, is the tooth fairy one of yours?
Cracka, you could have your band play a benefit gig for Nun’s Disease. You should get your $ up front, plus a percent of the gate.
Josh can do the warmup.
I have a disease, “Nun’s disease”. Please give me money so I can self-medicate with Bob Ross DVDs. Any extra funds will go towards my self-medication with X-Files related items.
sure,
but we’re only playing irish drinking songs.
and josh is only allowed to tell nun’s vagina jokes.
On a very special “What God Hates”, Nun reveals she has ‘Nun’s Disease’. Cracka gives his special brand of comfort, ben glues his head to the ceiling fan, anne dances naked, josh changes a diaper and turns shit into comedy gold, and Lerbwoman is accidently split into two separate Brazillians when Yo Yo’s age-reversal experiment goes awry.
fuckin’ L-O-fuckin-L, yoyo.
Nun and Anne walk into cracka’s bar. Cracka leans over the bar and says, “Get the hell out!”
nun and anne are undeterred. for reasons not yet apparent nun and anne use their shirt-lifting and chest-exposing powers to clear everyone else out of cracka’s bar. now that our drunken protagonist is alone…their diabolical plans are revealed.
Oh, I almost forgot: If you have Nun’s Disease, please call the tollfree number that we are showing at the bottom of the screen.
i can´t play shit…
Nobody ever runs when I do drunk-titty-flashing, Yo. Are you sure you’re not gay?
this is the internet story, nun. this is where you are deformed and diseased and got tits like a bus driver’s ass. whatever titties you got in “reality”-so called- do not apply here.
“tits like a bus driver’s ass”
Best. Line. Ever.
God didn’t fuck up my titties!!
Damn you, Cracka!!
yo yo 718
supported.
sure, He didn’t. just like your jayjay is lovely and you’re not a whore, right?
Great cracka…
clap clap clap
thanks, guys. i was kind of in a zone for a minute there.
Very well done, cracka, you were inspired!
i give all praise to God. for without Him, no disgusting titty joke is possible.
Amen.
I am going to pass the hat so we can all make a donation to thank God for giving Cracka Disgusting Titty Joke power.
Halle-fuckin-lujah!!!! do you feel the Spirit??!!!
all this time i was insulting her vagina…who knew i had disgusting titty joke power???
you know what it was? remember the inside out manatee nestled in a briar patch line? after that, my ‘gina jokes gradually deteriorated. i should have jumped right on over to titties.
i think my titty jokes just piqued, peaked, peeked???
i think the scattered remnants of this morning’s hangover are about to show themselves the door—-the door of my asshole.
don’t bother knockin’, josh, you big fag.
aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh………relief. how do you spell it?
P-O-O-P
shut up, ben!!!!
as for the rest of you heathen scum, as they say in wherever i am—fuck off.
Josh!! The little arab is fucking adorable!
I’m not scum! And no one runs from my ta tas either. I’m not a bloody grandma or anything! Fuck the lot of you (except Nun, I don’t swing that way).
Many amusing and interesting comments today My Disciples.
I particularly liked:
624 and 701 from Cracka
674 from Dr. Herbmonkey
686 from the Treefucker
710 from Yo Yo
That being said, there can be only one Truly Divine Comment.
Thank you, God! I’m honored. Especially since Cracka was on such a roll today.
you are so fucking annoying anne freaking johnson…
God, can you hook me up when i go to heaven ?
Thank You.
I think God’s Divine Humor Bone got broken.
Herbman you be so flamin, yo.
Nun, I never addressed your issue of wanting to move somewhere warm! Maryland is my home state and mr. johnson’s too. If you can work anywhere, you might like the Eastern Shore of Maryland. It gets cold in the wintertime, but not terribly cold. It hardly ever snows. The summers can be hot, but there’s water everywhere.
North Carolina has the best weather on the East Coast, but it also has boatloads of rednecks and fundies. So I don’t recommend it to people who aren’t inbred and retarded.
Yo Herbman, you got AIDS, yo.
Sorry, Herbman doesn’t really have AIDS, merely the cursed Brazilian herpes. Anne’s comment just reminded me of a joke a guy told on the radio talking about NY and hearing a guy yell across the subway tracks “Yo Monica, you got AIDS, yo!” at which point the guy pondered what the hell had happened to our healthcare system when that’s how they notify you that you have an infectious disease. I laughed so hard I didn’t even notice the pedestrian until after I hit him. Ahhh… good times.
Thanks, Anne. I have family in South Carolina, and I already know that the Carolinas are not the place for me. Maryland, huh? Seems like it’d be awful close to D.C. and the heathen demons that congregate there.
Virginia is cool, the weather is moderate and you’re close enough to DC to get your black cock fix.
this is the greatest honor of my life.
i haven’t felt this good since that last shit i took.
now i know how josh feels when the white guy in the crowd gets his “white people are crazy” joke.
Virginia is a gorgeous state, but the minute you get to the gorgeous part you run smack into the inbreds and the fundies. However, for the purposes of tree-fucking, Virginia cannot be beat.
MmmmmmmmMMMMMmmmmm! Skyline Drive!
virginia is for treefuckers
check out the climate in
puerto vallarta, mexico (lots of canadians live there)
and sacramento, ca. (lots of sacramentans live there)
those are the two most desirable average temps
i’ve found in my annual searches for somewhere that isn’t so fucking cold i want to die. of course, by mid-april i will forget how much i hate winter again.
San Diego is the bomb. If I liked fucking palm trees, I would move there. But I’m strictly a deciduous kinda chick.
God hit me with a pretty good weekend work smite. damn, He’s funny. i never see them coming.
do you at least get OT?
http://mytoxiclady.blogspot.com/Wow. Your blog is so popular. Mine is a failure and I need to get enough hits to avoid menial labor. Please, help.
http://mytoxiclady.blogspot.com/Tarra,
I would, I really would, except that I HATE DESPERATE PEOPLE BEGGING FOR HELP!
What the fuck…
I would tell the real God about this site…but unfortunately He already knew about it before I found it.
Its interesting to meet people who aren’t afraid to go
to hell.
It’s interesting to meet people who would consider heaven … heaven.
hahaha.. yeahp!
hahaha… yeahp!
DEAR SIR/MADAM
The Government of Ghana, in West Africa , has received funds from the INTERNATIONAL DEVELOPMENT :IDA CREDIT NO:3964GH,and AGENCE FRANCAISE DEVELOPMENT(AFD),AFD LOAN NO:CGH 6004.01.G, the cost of community based rural development projects ( CBRDP) and intends to apply part of this fund to cover eligible payments under the contracts for the supply of the following items.
1.T-Shirts.
2.Fertilizers.ASSOCIATION(IDA)
with loan number
3.Condoms.
4..Office Equipments.
5.Construction and Agricultural Machinery.
6.Agro chemicals Products.
7.Sporting Products.
8.Fire Fighting Equipments.
9.Treated Mosquito Nets.
10.Storage Tank.
11.Medical and Surgical Equipments.
12.Computers,Desk Tops and Laptops.
13.Water Filteration Systems.
14.Hospital Equipments.
15.Electronic Measuring
16.Aluminum Kitchenware
Bedsheets and Pillowcase.
Tender is open to all eligible foreign contractors from eligible source countries as defined in the guidelines of the procurement Board of the Republic of Ghana.If you can handle the supply of any of the above items, get back to me for more details… i am a commission agent.My contact details:.
MR. PETER ROBERT,
PETER ROBERT INVESTMENT AGENCY,
57 Ashimata Accra, Ghana,
ACCRA _ GHANA.
EMAIL.mrpeter.robert90@gmail.com
NO! I TOLD YOU PEOPLE I FRIGGING HATE AFRICA!!
Hey commission agent,
I could sell you some second hand condoms. I keep them in jars in my basement.
If you’re interested, just pray to God, he has my contact details.
Crispily yours,
Naytheist