Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
DAMN THE WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH! They spend all their time making Me look like some kind of judgmental monster. What a bunch of a-holes!
They go around protesting and holding up signs telling people about all the things I supposedly hate. WHO ARE THEY TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT I HATE? I CAN DO THAT MYSELF!
Westboro Baptist claims I hate fags, which is true, but not in the way they mean it. Sure, anal sex makes Me furious, but I don’t hate gay-fags, I hate stupid douche-fags like the Jonas Brothers! I love gay people and have many gay friends. Why is this so hard to understand?
They also say I hate America. BULLSHIT! I don’t hate America, I just hate democracy! BUT I LOVE AMERICA! I love America so much it’s the only country I have citizenship in.
They even say that when planes crash, I, The Almighty God, laugh! What a horrible thing to say! Ok, well that one’s actually true. But have you ever seen a plane crash? Trust Me, It’s frigging hilarious!
Anyway, these Westboro Baptist assholes REALLY make Me look bad. I’ve had to pay over $3 million dollars to publicists in the last 10 years alone just to handle damage control on My Divine Image. And for what? People think I’M SOME KIND OF INSANE MONSTER because all these fanatic retards do is embarrass Me!
The leader of this blasphemous church, Fred Phelps, called Elizabeth Taylor a “world-famous filthy Jew whore.” Balderdash! She is NOT filthy!
Then they went to Heath Ledger’s funeral and protested because he was in that movie about the gay cowboys. I didn’t like that movie either, but damn! That’s fucking effed up!
And they go to the funerals of soldiers all the time and protest! Now I’ve done some messed-up shit in My Day; I’ve flooded the world; I’ve slaughtered innocent 1st born children; I’ve sanctioned slavery, rape and murder. But disrespecting dead soldiers is where I draw the line!
I HATE YOU WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH! YOU’RE ALL GOING TO HELL WHERE YOU SHALL BE ASS-POUNDED BY GAY DEMONS FOR ALL ETERNITY!
Foppl's Siege Party on 
Ben on 
Nun Ur Damned Bizness on 
Milford on 
hmph on 
Naytheist on 
So much for some dickheads who stole Your glory………
Dear God,
Why didn’t you tell me to save before Boss number 3?
[...] Gateway Pundit posted a noteworthy aricle today onHere’s a small snippetDAMN THE WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH! They spend all their time making Me look like some kind of judgmental monster. What a bunch of assholes! They go around protesting and holding up signs telling people about all the things I supposedly … [...]
Dear God,
Thank You very much for hating the WBC.
They are not a Church, but a hate group,
thereby using Your Name in vain.
How do You feel about the EBC?
http://www.godhateseveryoneexceptforus.com/purpose.html
How do these morons escape your smite, God? You could at least give them bad cases of poison ivy.
i think Our Bloggenly Father is probably working up an extra special ironic smite for them, johnson. oh ye treefuckers of little faith.
I’d like to meet these people in a dark alley.
what if the alley was well-lit as a security precaution?
Hmmmm… then I’d have to ask them to step around back, where the lighting is poorer. Perhaps they’d have to scale a fence.
God, would You consider smiting this idiot: http://www.daytondailynews.com/n/content/oh/story/news/local/2009/03/05/ddn030509breastfeedweb.html?cxntlid=inform_artr
She was talking on her cellphone and breastfeeding while driving!
hmmmm…. but by complaining about stuff God hates, aren’t the WBC being by definition a bunch of fags?
Possibly, Josh. We should invite them here, so they can see what God really hates!
good point, yoyo. their heart (between all of them they might equal one heart) is in the right place. they are simply confused about what He hates. that sign should read “fags like simon cowell ruin nations” the shirt should be “God hates anal but some of his closest friends are gay.” we could set them straight.
And if we can’t set them straight, we’ll set Nun on them.
I would absolutely love to be in a dark room with the Phelps crew. You would never see them again and I would be made mighty and powerful for the awesome damage I would do to their mortal bodies.
sounds to me like she would use her vagina on them.
Heh, I would pay for any baseball bats broken or lost, Nun!
Baseball bats would be lost up the bums and vajayjays of the Phelps crew. Baseball bats would be broken over their brainless heads. Just so you know what you’d be paying for, Yo. Truth be told though, I wouldn’t really need those baseball bats. I hate them with white hot intensity far beyond any mere solar power.
That’s true - please let them live long enough so cracka and I can piss on their bloodied remains.
Be ready with dick in hand, Yo. For Cracka that will be dick in tweezers with magnifying glasses securely on head… he might try to pee out of a pubic hair otherwise. You must be ready with bladders full, boys as I make no promises when I am made powerful with rage and ire.
don’t worry about me…i have hit so many century quickenings lately that my penis is up to normal range. i could probably piss on a phelps from 15 feet away right now. just trying to avoid penis smitings.
god, i’m surprised don’t like the WBC. granted, they misrepresent you terribly. but sometimes doesn’t the sheer entertainment value of a group overpower that?
i mean, they’re not convincing anyone but those already in their group, so isn’t it a positive thing that they exist so that the rest of us can get a laugh?
Bei - Because I hate you.
Tony - The EBC is not a real church. It’s fake and meant to make fun of the WBC, so I rather like it.
Jew - CAPITALIZE MY NAME YOU IMPUDENT FUCK! And I don’t find it entertaining when humans try to speak for Me. IT PISSES ME OFF!
Besides, they’re not funny anyway. They’re morally repugnant.
Jew can’t help it, God. He wouldn’t know funny if it slapped him in the face, unless it was a cock.
you know what’s morally repugnant?
YOUR FACE!
What’s the difference between Jew’s ass and his face?
.
.
.
.
Wait for it…
.
.
.
.
NOTHING!!
HAHAHAHA!! Ahhh… I kill me.
that’s a medical condition, nun. some things you just can’t help.
The only way any of those Westboro assholes can save yourselves now is to find a homosexual from San Francisco and have anal sex with him. This may be harder for the women, but there it is.
And I know I’ve said I hate anal sex many times, but every rule has an exception, and this is their punishment and their only salvation.
I’m sorry, Jew. I can’t help making fun of your ass-face. It makes me feel better about my own ass-face.
well, since my secret identity has been revealed, and in 68 hates “shameless plugs” never made the list, i guess i’ll make one of my own here.
i put up a new secret jew strip yesterday and i invite all you fine SGHers to head over to http://www.secretjew.com and take a look. even nun and her dry unused vagina is invited.
and don’t worry josh, fags are allowed too.
sincerely,
Unpleas
Unpleasanter Jew: Not so secret panhandler.
Sorry, Jew but your comic isn’t funny so I’ll just wait until Fag-Brad, the faggiest fag I know, posts a new comic.
HA!! Take that on your little blog war!! In your face, Jew! IN. YOUR. FACE!!
And as a cock-sucking homo, you should probably stop talking about a world you know little about… namely, my luscious vajayjay that warmly encompasses all who enter.
I may have to handle pissing on the Westboro assholes myself - cracka can’t find his prick, and it’s getting harder for him to urinate (go to the free STD clinic, they’ll fix you).
Can´t believe that you God, is getting weak… soft heart, and all that other kind of stuff ? Don´t disapoint me. I used to put so much faith on your words. But otherwise i know that you are only trying to forgive ours sins one more time.
Thank You!
I am truly sorry about something, i must confess…
Someday was out of Special Dirty in the store, so i couldn´t grow my own stuff. a friend of mine told me that on this particular fag-church they use to sell what they call “God´s Particular Blessed Chiba”.
But it was not, was a horrible thing, taste like wood and i hate them much more now after this Divine post of Yours.
Thank You for the showing us the right patch.
i don´t know how to put my avatar… i searched the all blog and can´t find it… please tell how it´s done.
More Americans say they have no religion: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/rel_religious_america
yoyo, i work at that clinic!! i’ve been disease free since this morning!
it’s a great place to meet women.
I work at a mental health agency. I wait until Sex Addict’s Anonymous night.
GOD!!!! SMITE THIS VERY UNPLEASANT JEW!
Please?!
don’t worry, baby. this can be anonymous.
you don’t want to know what the wrong patch looks like, herbman.
who is this herbman and why is he calling for my smite?
i don’t know you, herbman.
look! up in the sky! it’s a bird! it’s a dork! it’s…. HERBMAN!
For sure cracka…
you only get whores like Nun, im sure this clinic have a lot of this kind of whores…
I never want to know you Jew…
Jews make me sick, and you are a anal-sex making fag and thats the kind of person i wish to kill…
said.
And for you, it´s Mr. Dr. Herbman.
DR. HERBMAN! JESUS CHRIST! I already told you before how to fucking do it.
First of all, enter in an email when you post for crissakes. That at least will give you a random one.
Second, sign up at gravatar.com and upload a picture. Assign it to the email you will use here. Wait 20 minutes and CLEAR YOUR CACHEEEE!!!
herbman. when you figure out how to use a fucking gravatar, then you can talk to me.
man, herbman, you just make nun look better and better.
You never told that… now i know how it´s done…
And, you fucking unpleasant nerd anal-sex making jew fag, having an avatar it´s only one of the others ways that nerd like you think that´s gonna be better for your reputation. what it counts ít´s the words…
and after all i think Nun is a good whatever she must be…
IN YOU FACE JEW!
go back to your hole.
herbman,
i think you need to buy a new dumbass-to-english dictionary because you sound like the nazi version of borat. keep it up!! we need more refreshing ideas like yours around here.
ben,
you owe me another nickel.
now,
how to help the WBCers see the light and redirect their hatred toward something worthy…like ben…hmmmm…
mulling this one over…
i’ll get back to you.
I don’t understand most of what Herbman said except for when he called me a whore.
I have this to say to you, Mr. Herbman…
I. AM. NOT. A. WHORE!!
That’s mock anger for all you Bens.
uh-oh.
they’re gonna get all sciency on our asses again:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090309/ap_on_go_pr_wh/obama_stem_cells
im always stoned…
who cares, can´t you understand my words?
cracka - put in on my fucking tab.
and clear out your cache, bitch.
danm, reading my post now i couldn´t understand either…
my braind is damaged… must be the stuff i got on the the Westboro Baptist Church. DANM YOU FUCKERS!
GOD… please, heal me ?
this post is just to put my avatar… i forgot!
the words i understand, the sentences on the other hand…well, for the amount of reasoning you’re attempting to communicate, your sentences are probably appropriate.
ben, your tab is like $8,000. pay up by next week or i send josh to break your knees. why josh? because he’s “colored”, and “colored” is scary.
colored is scary, but fag isn’t
your avatar is scary jew. what do you call that guy anyway?
hey, ben, what if i can’t see jew’s avatar? what do i do?!!
clear out your cache, bitch
Ben’s a feeble-minded idiot.
Jew’s avatar is The Incredible Hulk wearing lipstick.
wow Nun, what a redundant phrase.
you’re a feeble-vaginered hoooerrr.
Shut up Ben.
Just making sure it was clear for all the Bens, Ben.
that’s not just the incredible hulk wearing lipstick. it is the unglamo-rays hulk trying to glamo-rays himself up.
That church is very evil but I’ve heard things jsut as evil said ‘in jest’ here on this website.
“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.”
Deuteronomy 6:5
Shut up Bridgette.
yoyo is on a shutting up tear today. you go yo.
Shut up again, Ben.
bridgette.
still dumb after all these posts.
hmmm…i think bridgette’s favorite word is evil. it’s so absolute and judgmental, i mean you can’t argue your way past evil.
here’s me: “blah, blah, blah, point, point, point, blah, blah, blah, words, words, words.”
here’s bridgette: “i declare, by the wisdom bestowed upon me by the creator of all things, that you are evil.”
here’s me: “you win. but it’s like winning the special olympics, you may have won, but you’re still retarded.”
if only i had a rebuttal for evilness.
The only rebuttal for evilness is Jesus.
who here want’s to bet bridgette LOVES taking it up the ass?
Bridgette looks like ben´s avatar…
they have the same hability to glamo-rays too …
Bridgette can count to potato.
there is no doubt that she love it…. she likes evil dicks!
danm, my bad…. stoned again!
Bridgette looks like Unpleasanter Jew avatar…
GOD, why you have not healed me yet ?
Oh Lord, bless my chiba again!
evil dicks??
That’s so gay!
Bridgette probably does not engage in anal, silly heathens. People like Bridgette only have sex to procreate… my sister and aunt are the same way. That’s why I think her husband is sleeping around with other people. Women who have that kind of mindset usually have a spouse that seeks sexual release elsewhere. Just ask my sister and my aunt.
just to remember Nun…
anal sex don´t make you procriate….
your sister and aunt are whore-nuns like you ?
i know that because Josh never got pregnant…
I used to attend the WBC. Their pancake breakfasts were outstanding. Mostly because there weren’t any mexicans or blacks or fags gumming up the works looking for a hand-out. Of course, I later became a fag (it’s a personal choice) and they kicked me out.
I miss those fluffy, delicious pancakes.
Herb,
Please allow me to explain this for the chiba-heads and the Bens; some people believe that sex is only for procreation… feminine orgasms are the evil work of Lucifer as they do not help with fertilization. Sex is never for fun or casual, it is only to bring about pregnancy. Anal sex is an evil tool of the devil because it does not result in pregnancy. Extreme Christians do not practice anal sex as it is a sin.
On the other hand, moderate Christians do practice anal sex as it’s not really sex and it will not result in pregnancy. Funny how that works out.
I love fags so I love you, Fag-Brad. Even if you are the size of a hobbit.
Hobbit-height is JUST the right size for faggin’ off.
Only if your partner is normal human height.
Dear Almighty God,
Thank you so much for answering my prayer to let everyone know how much you hate the The Westboro Baptist Church on your awesomely powerful, if not omnipotent, Stuff God Hates blog. I know that some people don’t believe that you answer prayers but here is living proof*. I will spread this good news aka gospel around a bit by proselytizing it for you on other blogs and giving it a thumb’s up review on StumbleUpon.
In Faith,
Rev. Dr. Eric T. Cartman III
* Anyone who doesn’t believe that I asked The Almighty God to create this particular Stuff God Hates blog post via my direct line to The Almighty God can just ask him. He will *confirm* that it is indeed God’s Own Truth that *the* Rev. Dr. Eric Cartman III politely suggested it to him a while back. It took The Almighty God a bit longer than Six Days to get around to it, and possibly even longer than than the Six Days that it took him to create the whole world to create it, but He none-the-less managed to answer my prayer in well under Forty Days from the date that I uttered it which was Feb 27, 2009, at 3:16pm EST. I keep track of these things not unlike The Almighty God keeps track of things like The Westboro Baptist Church. . .
man do i have a bad case of the mundays…
I have declared this comment as Divine.
Although he can barely speak English, Dr. Herbman makes an excellent point.
i hate herbman.
Bridgette thinks we’re mean here, but she keeps coming back for more. Well, sweetie, it’s like this. We’re joking with one another, not standing outside federal cemeteries laughing as Iraq War casualties get interred.
I admire the town of Westboro (wherever it is) for being able to support so many village idiots.
Today Time Magazine published a list of ten metropolitan daily newspapers most likely to close in the next six months. I’m pleased to report that the one my husband works for was top on the list.
Perhaps the WBC needs a publicist….
“We’re joking with one another,”
But, but, but. . . I’m *serious* Anne.
With all due respect, Rev. Dr. Eric Theodore Cartman III, you must have the smallest penis of all time if you have to carry around so much name baggage.
I sooooo need a quickening today. Even though I ain’t got a penis.
Cuz my hubby’s about to lose his! Damn print journalism!
THERE CAN BE ONLY 15,000 OUT OF WORK PRINT JOURNALISTS!
Thanks be to God.
thank you God for making this fucking gay jew hate me…
it´s an honor when jew people feel hate for me!
thanks for Your Divine Presence one more time.
anne johnson:
“I admire the town of Westboro (wherever it is) for being able to support so many village idiots.”
you admire seeing my balls from behind while i nail you sweetie mama.
*And im pretty serious about that!
“With all due respect, Rev. Dr. Eric Theodore Cartman III, you must have the smallest penis of all time if you have to carry around so much name baggage.”
*You* can just call me Eric, Anne.
Now about that quickening. . .
You know. . .
The one you sooooo need.
Indeed the quickening, but not necessarily quickie, that The Ever So Omniscient Almighty God knows you sooooo need.
Jews killed the unicorns!! Those BASTARDS!!
what a sick person you are Cartman II…
Who’s Cartman II?
Never heard of the guy.
there is so much idiot people in the world God…
Why you create idiot people…
you should make a post about how You hate idiot people, just as sugestion.
BTW Dr. Herbman,
I am still trying to figure out how johnsonless Anne Johnson can admire seeing your balls *from behind* while you nail that Sweetie Mama.
Please do explain. . .
I expect that I am not the only one here who is Curious Yellow.
Dear Almighty God,
I humbly beseech you to make a post about how You hate dope smoking people, just a *prayer*.
Come to think of it how about making an 11th Commandment -
Thou shalt not fuck your brains with weed.
Sincerely,
The Rev. Dr. Eric Theodore Cartman III
yep, and if your mama is pretty i would like to nail her too and i let your sister watch my balls too while i nail your mom. if you want to know you can ask your sister after i nail her too.
said.
God, please forgive me for nail the Cartman III female part of his family.
See above Dr. DopeHead
i´m not a dope head… i am a ganja connoisseur…
and God don´t hate us, because our Almighty God himself create marijhuana so we don´t blow out our brains with a .45 every time we see a sick person like you, fucking rat.
and it´s the best plant He could ever create.
Thank you God for create marijhuana and give us the fire so i can´t light a joint
I’m sure that in your case a .22 would do the job just fine Dr. Herbman. . .
In fact Dr. DopeHead *you* could probably blow your dope addled bird brains out with a 2.7mm Kolibri projectile which, you guessed it. . .
is the smallest caliber bullet ever produced. 
what
the
fuck?
yeah. wtf
Herbman and cartman, someone has affixed your name to comments, but typed gibberish below them.
WTF
YEAH WTF?!
Quiet today.
Too quiet…
BE CAREFUL, IT’S A TRAP!
Look out, it’s AAEEEIIII!!!
Will hopefully Dr. DopeHead didn’t *really* blow his dope addled bird brains out with a 2.7mm Kolibri projectile.
I thought we were just joking around here.
Isn’t that what johnsonless Anne Johnson said?
W
fuck.
W?
umm…can i have the letter “T”?
Today’s lesson is brought to you by the word “niggardly”. Remember kids, don’t attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots.
I can’t believe Dr. Herbman blew his brains out.
it’s purim people, so don’t forget to eat your triangle cookies!
and if you see someone wearing a triangle hat, BEAT EM UP!
No cookies for you!
funny cartoon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdhAzIVC9iw
TF?
Why would God hate chiba smokers? Cartman’s a fucking idiot. I hate to admit it but poor English-challenged Herbman is right, God created the plant as a gift for His precious man. I love Him dearly for it. I love Him for His Massive Divine Cock too.
right, same way he made women…
Only the men He gave penises to, Cracka. You dickless wonders are God’s gift to women. We point and laugh at you and generally have a jolly good time laughing at your empty crotch.
cock, weed, cock, weed, Johnny Depp, cock, weed, would so totally fuck, cock, weed, X-Files, X-Files, X-Files, cock, massive, weed.
I was going to do the same for you, Ben but then I realized that you never actually say anything that’s worth remembering.
thank you Nun for your cooperation…
and yeah cracka, nice comment:
“same way He made women for us…”
Shut up Ben…
are you a kid ? Don´t believe in everything you read on internet!
I can never blow my brains out because my head is always in the clouds trying to pass the sky….
GOT IT ? or you need a drawning ?
=========================*~~~ + ME = PARADISE
*Blessed Chiba is the only prooved way to go to heaven before death.
so….you like weed?
i think dr. herbman is some sort of marijuana enthusiast.
NOOOOO!!! YOU IDIOT!!
I LOOOOOOOOVE WEED!
so who went and told bono that he’s “the shit”?
u-too has found a new low of pretentious cookie cutter bullshit. what a bunch of egomaniacal twats. old guys in sunglasses…OOOOOH…put on your boots….oooooh. God, why does you-two suck so much donkey dick?
sorry Lord for my angry…
the therapy is really helping you cracka, good to know.
I got a nice green stripe medicine for your psychological disease.
Herbman is saying something, I know it.
better say “psychological disorder”
I like Dr. Herbman, even if he isn’t real big on the Engrish. May I ask your nationality, Herbman? I won’t give you shit for your poor English abilities if I know you’re one of the devoted illiterate Brazillians.
Thank you one more time Nun…
i guess you right!
and Yo Yo, im not saying anything, im typing, danm it.
i like you too Nun…
you know, yoyo, he’s actually right. he is typing it, dan mit, whoever that is.
i guess herbman considers himself a “citizen of the world.” that’s kind of faggy, isn’t it?
but how do your really feel about weed?
Dr. DopeHead could never blow his dope addled brains out because he couldn’t accurately aim a 2.7 mm Kolibri Car Pistol at his teeny-tiny *shit* filled brain if his life depended on it. . .
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_mm_Kolibri
good question, ben, maybe our doctor friend could clear up where he stands on sweet mary jane. oh, and shut up.
I think ‘Dan Mit’ is a village outside of Ho Chi Min City.
so, herbman is viet-cong? zipperhead, eh? almost as bad as being chinese. GI #1, HERBMAN!! GI #1!!!
An inscrutable race, cracka.
In memory of dem good old days: Lunch was microwaved mac-n-cheese, the cheese was like a fondue! (But not as tasty, sigh)
你好美国兵!
我与您性交很长时间!
I’m not big on broken Engrish but I think I might understand it better than you fuckholes. I believe Herbman answered in the positive to being an illiterate Brazillian. That’s how I took “i guess you right!” in post 156.
Hey homem grande! Nós temos o tempo longo do sexo!
hey, johnson, your religion finally has its own trading card!
http://newhumanist.org.uk/2002
i respect people’s right to choose their own belief systems, but that doesn’t mean i have to respect their beliefs. so fuck off!!!
hey, remember when bridgette said,
“The only rebuttal for evilness is Jesus.”?
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Remember when she said Jesus was the cure for AIDS?
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
yeah, nun, that was so fucking funny!!!!
i don’t know how she does it.
remember that time she said the congregation was going to stone us to death?
oh, wow…my face hurts.
“The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools are not so.”
Proverbs 15:7
You can laugh at me all you want but it will not change the fact that I am right!
on 10 Mar 2009 at 4:20 pm169
Yo Yo Ma Ma:
Hey homem grande! Nós temos o tempo longo do sexo!
WTF? don´t translate stuff on google idiot!
the cure for aids is weed!
your face hurts cracka ? IN YOUR FAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!
I SLAP YOUR FACE WITH MY MASSIVE COCK!
TAKE IT!
bridgette,
you still have not provided any imperical proof that you are right about anything. why not? could it be that THERE ISN’T ANY?! have you gone to pharyngula and debated the evolutionary biology nerds yet? i’m sure they aren’t sick of explaining shit to superstitious hillbilly peasants yet.
“bridgette’s lips spread widely, but nothing issues forth except her stinky vagina juice.”
herbman,
calm down. use the bong, herbman, the bong.
….
yeah yeah, sorry again for my angry Lord!
i´m running out of blessed chiba, that´s the reason i´m so angry…
i have said, bridgette looks exacly like Unpleasant Jew´s avatar! hahahahah
The what, the WHAT? That proverb doesn’t make sense, Bridgette.
someone is trying to steal my personality…
who the fuck are you ?
“Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”
Matthew 7:6, KJV
um, first of all, just let me say, for the second time today: WHAT THE FUCK? are you even trying to make sense?
BRIDGETTE’S HUSBAND:
http://www.funnyfork.com/pics/a%20real%20american%20moron.jpg
hmm…imperical, empirical…does it really matter?
,
damn, i gave my pearls to some pigs and they trampled them!! then they rend the shit out me!! what was i thinking?!!!
who you calling swine, fatty?!
Pearls Before Swine is a funny comic.
And you’re not right, as you claim you are, Bridgette. That’s just more of your arrogant and ignorant posturing. The truth is, nobody knows for sure what happens after death. You have your faith but faith is not proof.
“someone is trying to steal my personality…”
No foul, no crime.
I know that after death i take some corpses mix with special dirty and grown my own stuff… that´s all i know about after death.
Never understood why anyone would give pearls to swine. It wastes the pearls and annoys the swine. Of course they’ll trample you! Angry, hungry swine are not to be teased!!
#184 — pages and pages and pages of such pithy advice … pardon my lisp.
uppity cracka asked “what was i thinking?!!!”
Well uppity cracka, since you asked. . .
based on the empirical evidence that is available here in this comment thread one *could* have reasonable grounds for believing that you were thinking that you would really enjoy it when those pigs rended the shit out of you if you catch my drift.
What if my idea of eternal hell is to have Bridgette spewing Bible quotes at me forever? The only solution, since all souls are unique, would be to have the actual Bridgette there to torture me. No facsimile would truly fulfill a “perfect” hell for me. So, would my heathenness override her holiness? Or would the fact that she gets to go to heaven mean that my hell would be less than eternally torturous? Or better yet, would I get to go to heaven and hear her spew her quotes, since she’s obviously going there and can’t be in two places at once? Would that mean I’m free from hell at that point?
Please post random bible quotes that address these issues.
.
Excellent point. GET IT!? POINT!
good point, yoyo. as chief joseph once pointed out, the bible is really just a rulebook for stupid people. if you’re so dumb that you need someone to tell you such obvious things, i guess you are simple-minded enough to need this hokey-ass religion, too. if you think about it, jesus is like the dr. phil of religious figures. here’s some obvious advice! you can change your life! except jesus is gayer than dr. phil. and i mean literally gay, not just lame.
there can be…
ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!
haha…
what do you think of my dick now, fuckers?!
wait, don’t answer that.
Whew - dodged the bullet that time.
Dr. Herbman,
I must write this station for the comprehension of their proverbs. Please you like it in explaining you in the words which are not included/understood badly, but right. I would like to know what is that you are also happy roughly for the harmful grass. I know that many with the people erroneous information of scattering on the evil of the harmful grass, but perhaps in its case, which is the truth.
Thanking by having this time for me.
Jesus as Dr. Phil:
Ephihooticus 3.3: If someone out there doesn’t agree with Me, then somewhere a village is missing thine idiot. No dog ever peed on a moving chariot. Thou are only lonely if thou are not there for God. Thy feelings? To Satanus with thy feelings! That jackal don’t hunt. Don’t make Me put thine head under My sandal! A man can’t ‘just be friends’ with another woman. Especially that harlot Mary Magdalen. This ain’t My first chariot race, son!”
Anne renews pledge to procreate baby Bloodvorks!
God’s handing out random Divine comments. Bridgette has one and now Bloodvork has one for impersonating an illiterate Brazillian. What gives God? I thought it was only one divine comment per day?
Who said so?!
I can declare anything divine at any time!
shut up, nun.
It’s easy, Nun. In a little circle around bloodvork’s comment, it’s tomorrow.
God is amazing!
I think your dick is still very small…
Bloodvork totally deserved a Divine award for that comment. It’s really difficult to spout authentic illiterate Brazillian gibberish. And how can he not award Bridgette, when she quotes Him?
He! He! Sorry, God. Can I have my pearls back now? They’re under the foot of that irate pig over there.
I have a wealth of Engrish from countless video game instruction booklets.
Umm… You said so, God.
“DECLARED DIVINE COMMENT OF THE DAY BY GOD HIMSELF”
‘Comment’ is singular here in the mortal world. Maybe it’s plural in Heaven. It’d make more sense for mortals if it said something like this:
“DECLARED ONE OF THE DIVINE COMMENTS OF THE DAY BY GOD HIMSELF”
YOU IMPUDENT SNATCH! SILENCE!
I DO WHAT I WANT!
Be careful, Nun!
See what I mean?
No. I’m a woman. You didn’t equip women with a mute button. Your oversight, not mine.
this is going to be messy.
at least messier than nun’s vagina already was.
cracka, got bad weather?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090310/ap_on_re_us/winter_storm
not yet, it just started snowing here.
gonna have to lock myself up indoors with a bottle of jack and wait for the storm to pass.
oh well!
feel free to donate to this charity:
http://cornerstonemn.org/
my wife works there. stupid bleeding heart liberal bitch.
It’s good to have a storm plan.
Wowzer, what softened your heart?
The lack of penis between his legs.
right, nun, my dick fell off so i married a lesbian and started fighting for women’s rights, yup.
pffft…don’t be ridiculous.
(gulp)
cracka, they have a very well done website, easy to navigate, easy to understand. I’ll send cash, don’t want your wife to look for addresses on checks from Maine and have you show up on my doorstep.
dude! wtf cracka? I thought you beat your wife. geez, what a fag.
shutupben
of course i beat my wife, ben. having her work at a domestic violence shelter is the perfect cover. stupid ol’ ben. there he goes again.
shut up, ben.
the rest of you may, of course, fuck off.
yoyo-230. my wife worked on that site.
now, seriously this time, fuck off.
Now fucking in the direction of off!
i like your updated avatar yo. now it’s perfect.
stop fucking telling me to shutup!
Some people fuck off. I fuck up.
Yep
I just fuck around.
Nun wins the prepositional fuck award!
If “Theodore” was anywhere in my name, I sure wouldn’t crow about it.
You would if you were a little fat kid from Colorado, Anne.
Nun, did you start your own clothing company?
http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2009/02/the-whore-family.jpg
MOTHER FUCKER!!
Damn you, Burro!! DAMN YOU!!
I’m so kicking you in the fucking balls you mother fucking bastard.
:x 
How do your pussy Catholic ears feel now, fuckhole? Fag!!
You fucked up one of my angry faces by being a mother fucking burro!! DAMN YOU!!
I would so buy those jeans. Thanks, Burro!
HA-ha!
Anne, I have no doubt you would. You ought to talk to Nun, perhaps she can get you a pair at cost.
GOD DAMN IT!!
Don’t be surprised when you’re no longer required to perform your professional duties, mother fucking fag!
Does that mean I can remove my face away your “love Glove”?
NO!! You owe me oodles of multiple orgasms for this travesty. MOTHER FUCKER!!
say “fuck me”, relax and let it go Nun…
i think i´m going to be an Engrish teacher, you all tell me that i´m so good with this particular language…
that must be the Divine Destiny that God Himself made for me.
Thank You so much.
squeeze Nun, SQUEEZE!!!
Are you referring to my vaginal muscles, Doctor? Or do you mean my legs so I can pop my burro’s treacherous head off?
“You would if you were a little fat kid from Colorado, Anne.”
Bless you Sister!
Some people are sooooo slow*.
* pun on johnsonless Anne Johnson’s need for a quickening and/or quickie intended.
what ever will make you feel happier!
Honestly Rev, I was wondering what was taking everybody so long to catch on. I still have hopes that one day your momma’s identity will be revealed.
I’m popping the mother-fucker’s head off then. The other would just make him feel good and he doesn’t deserve that. That bastard made me sob a tear or two.
cracka is always telling dear Nun to squeeze her vajayjay beacause his dick is so thin… he need to put a pair of sandals on each side to start feeling the vibe!
Tahnk you God…
i´m already a top disciple!
TOP DISCIPLES
Nun Ur Damned Bizness (184)
uppity cracka (183)
Josh (123)
Yo Yo Ma Ma (116)
anne johnson (104)
Ben (86)
Dr. Herbman (41)
Dear God,
I think Westboro Baptist Church is a POE.
(Religion still sucks though!)
Only pure worship of God is acceptable.
I will never be God’s top disciple. Sigh…
I could be one of the Top Disciples but… TI guys are watching me pretty close.
But I’m around.
there can be only one top disciple!!!!!!
and for this brief moment, that one is me.
Fuck me, I am slow! It was the “Theodore” that threw me off.
Nun, you shouldn’t be so angry with Burro. He’s just jesting with you playfully. I’m sure there’s oodles of affection buried in his Burro brain.
i would, but i don’t fuck ’slow’ people.
“Fuck me, I am slow! It was the “Theodore” that threw me off.”
To say nothing of the Rev. Dr. and the III
L Woman, TI guys are watching you? Do you work for Texas Instruments?
Ben said: “i would, but i don’t fuck ’slow’ people.”
I, on the other hand, like to slow fvck.
this is spiralling dangerously out of control.
i do fuck slow people all the time. just not people that move slowly.
“this is spiralling dangerously out of control.”
Isn’t that what all your ex-girlfriends said, too?
is it just me, or does Monday feel like it was 5 weeks ago? this week is fucking brutal.
I can tell none of you jerks watched my video yesterday:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdhAzIVC9iw
it’s fucking funny.
Hey…
Where is Dr. Herbman?
I think I know who he is.
they took the soundcards out of our ‘puters. so. yeah.
those fugging bastards! what an economy.
Thank You, God for plopping me square in the middle of a family of Bridgettes. I really appreciate it, O Holy One.
My sister is divorcing her black husband, the one who has been a devoted father and put up with her fat, bitchy ass for 10+ years. The one my pastor-dad hates because he’s black. She is now trying to get with a criminal that she knew in her teens, my pastor-dad hated him then but loves him now because he’s WHITE. He is still the same twisted criminal he always was as a youngster and I’m disgusted and thinking once again about disowning myself from my own family.
Thanks a bunch for the life lesson, God.
BEN!!
How dare you expose us to such ickiness!!
Don’t you know that we’re all God-fearing worshipers of His Divine Holiness and can’t handle seeing that much blood and gore? Sick-Puppy-Ben, that’s what I’ll call you from here on out.
Dr. Herbman - Hey, I know who you are.
You shouldn’t be ashamed, I like you.
Don’t worry, your identity is safe with me.
And for God’s sake, stop saying you are not Dr. Herbman when I ask you because I know you are.
Are there only like 5 Brazillians that would post on God’s Holy Blog and they all know each other?
I just know Dr. Herman.
cracka, why’d they take out the soundcards? Should have just yanked the speakers.
they all look the same to me.
can’t use headphones. can’t plug in other speakers. i’m assuming they bought computers without those capabilities knowing that we don’t need them to perform our job functions. so, to listen to something i have to walk down a hall, into another room, use a different computer…ugh. i don’t have that kind of energy. what do they think i am, the energizer cracker???
285- i mean brazillians. they all look the same. nevermind.
Well, I hope outing him hasn’t made him uncomfortable about posting here. I like Dr. Herbman.
.
.
.
Holy fuck!! Saws cut through those, y’all.
http://www.wusa9.com/rss/local_article.aspx?storyid=82520
No speakerphones?
Damn, Nun! Always wear proper eye protection, and don’t remove the safety features of the saw!
I don’t use power saws, Yo. That’s just crazy. I use power drills.
Hello to all of you “God´s creatures”…
The L-ooser Woman: on wich club i knew you? i was so high that i said my name was Dr. Hebman? offcourse i am a doctor, but i do not usualy call myself Herbman, only in this Holy blog.
Cracka: Yeah, we all look the same, even your mom can´t tell the difference, 20 guys can fuck her one at the time and she don´t even know… she say: “Oh my god, you have so much energbody, my son cracka otherwise… everybody knows he is not the energizer cracker type…”
Nun, thank you for the love words… can we repeat today
the same fuck we had lastnight? your squeeze hability is so fucking Divine…
after carefully examining the results of this survey i have come to a realization that pretty much explains the nature of bridgette’s existence:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090311/ap_on_re_us/states_of_happiness
west virginia? dead last.
okay, my mom definitely never used the word “energbody.”
Dear God, and what about the “I hate idiot people” post ?
Dear Dr. Herbman,
You’re on. Bring the power drill.
Cracka - Once, I met this cute American and you remind me of him.
He was one of the last guys I dated.
He was funny and sarcastic just like you. He also had a big piece of meat but… you know, I’m vegetarian and Nun says you are dickless.
If your real name is Walter, than you’re awesome and you do have a (big) dick.
off course she did cracka…
she is one of my first Engrish students!
Can´t you remember Nun? danm, you were so wasted… the power drill is broken since last night… but i got my Divine Credit Card i´m buying another one more powerfull than ever!
I have a charged cordless available, in case you want to move out of the workshop…
ME!!!
someone is in love with you cracka!!!
go for it!
should i call you Walter from now on?
i’m married. i don’t how you do it down there in catholic heaven, but in my world, that puts me off limits. plus, as nun has so callously pointed out a million times, i have NO PENIS. it fell off in a terrible power saw accident.
Cracka - I’m sorry for your terrible accident.
Dr. Herbman - I’m not in love with him, I’m lesbo.
Oh yeah!! I sooooo totally forgot about that, Herbman. Man, that lovin’ was so damned good it made me forget my own name. It also made me forget I had a loser kid which made me happy for awhile but then my memory came back. Hmmm… you’d better bring two power drills today. I want to forget about my loser kid again.
heheh… I don’t know why but I love the word “lesbo”.
i feel pitty for you and your damn soul!
you like lesbo Nun ?
should we invite The L-esbo Woman ?
you´re all women to me… bring it on all your lesbo friends!
cracka, you can watch if you want, but no dicky, no fucky…
UM…no thanks. i prefer digesting my food properly without testing my gag reflex. also, the smell of nun’s vagina is enough to asphyxiate anyone. if you experience any euphoria it is exclusively from the effects of anoxia.
i got a gas mask…
dont worry about me cracka, im not a fag like you!
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=7055006&page=1
holy fuck!!
and the only smell we gonna sense is from my Beloved Blessed Chiba!
Dr. Herbman - You showed me your identity yesterday.
Try to remember…
You were reading the posts and having a lot of fun with that.
Then, you showed me the last post, it was from Dr. Herbman.
But you forgot to hide the “Leave a Reply” area.
While you were so concerned to read the post to me and pretend you were not Dr. Herbman, you forgot to hide you name and your e-mail.
So, while you were reading, I just confirmed what I knew.
this new is about my cousin… nice!!
any theories as to why this guy snapped? God, can you explain this please?
i hate you, herbman.
Herbman’s arch-nemesis: The Unpleasanter Jew!
I think we have a superhero/supervillain rivalry here…
i think we got a stucker…
your face is a stucker.
Man, don’t worry!!!
I really like you!
Don’t pretend I don’t know you and I don’t pretend you don’t know me.
I always have a lot of fun when you are around.
You’re great friend!
Hey Nun, go for it. Dr. Herbman is handsome.
BTW … LESBO, LESBO, LESBO, LESBO, LESBO, LESBO, LESBO
i love your mama Jew… =)
she pays my bills!
go tell your damn gay dad now!
FACE!
You wouldn’t be invited to any kind sexcapades that Herbman and I would indulge in, Cracka so you don’t have to worry about that.
I like the word, Doctor but I’m not one to munch carpet. I don’t bat for the lesbo team.
thank you God for making me a Handsome man..
Dr. Herbman ffff-fffaced you Jew, and there is nothing you can do about it. there is no coming back from that one.
thank you God for making Nun straight!
and thank you God for making the Unpleasanter Jew so unpleasant!
im no more saying Shut Up to you Ben…
thanks, nun. i was beginning to worry, actually. you know how those south american types are about kidnapping. who knows what kind of horrible shit they do with those poor crackers?
i don’t know, ben. wasn’t much of a face, really. he just said something about somebody’s mom.
except the phrase “damn gay dad” is kind of funny.
yes!!! finally someone said it!
cracka, you are so unpleasant too you know?
you are Unpleasanter Jew´s twin brother… and you have the same “damn gay dad” he do….
Ben and Herbman team up to face the evil forces of Jew and Cracka! Good vs. Evil! Cool vs. Nerdy! Who will win?!?!!??
Why Ben!?
SHUT UP!
will win who ever GOD wants!
Thank you Lord.
aww maaaaann…..i thought i had made a friend….
FUCK YOU HERB!
can you count to potatos ?
life is a bitch boy… and God is divorced from her… that´s why she is so tuf.
and call me Dr.
Poor Ben.
I like Ben. In the same way I like my neighbor’s retarded kid just as long as he stays out of my yard and keeps his retarded self away from me. I don’t want to catch his retardo disease.
that yard give me so many good memories…
That’s because we were both naked and playing perverted naked games.
i love taking your Nun clothes off.
herbert’s starting to weird me out.
Of course you do, you’re Brazillian. Everybody knows that Brazillians are perverts who enjoy undressing people and then playing naked movie-star games. That’s why I love Brazillians.
Nun - You did Dr. Herbman really good.
It seems he is in love.
I can’t help it!! I’m a slut!
no you a hoo-err
hey Josh…how does the black-tastic movie industry going? any new awful scripts greenlighted?
I. AM. NOT. A. WHORE!!!
I. AM. NOT. A. VARIENT SPELLING OF WHORE EITHER!!!
Damn you, Sick-puppy-retarded-Ben!! DAMN YOU!!!
i´m a hustler and a player….
now Ben is trying to be friends with josh!
what a looser…
hey at least i’m not hooked on pot.
Nun, why did you scream to me “Call me Whore, Doctor. Call me Whore, Doctor.” lastnight?
i thought you were a whore, now you are telling me that you are a slut ?
Of course you’re not, Ben. You’re not even smart enough to figure out how to use a bong.
You know what Brazillians like to do when they’re not playing naked movie-star games? Watch The X-Files. Brazillians know quality entertainment when they see it.
That was my neighbor, Herbman. She gets really jealous of all the sex I have at my house.
yeah, but josh is hooked on Blue Magic.
X-Files rules!
where the hell is God ?
playing with another form of civilization 10 billion light years from here?
God is probably secretly working on another planet in the hopes that the jerk known as Galactus doesn’t come and munch it all up.
The X-Files does rule. See how smart the Brazillians are?
Who here watches Battlesux Galacticock?*
* Battlesux Galacticock used without permission from Fag-Brad. I stole that from Fag-Brad.
X-Files is good!
What about Lost?
Do you like it?
Any explanation for what the fuck that black smock is?
hahaha
i have an explanation….
I haven’t gotten into Lost, L. It may seem stupid but it’s awful complicated. I followed X-Files myth for 12 years but I don’t think I can figure out Lost. I’m not even sure I want to.
I don’t know if Victoria Jackson from Saturday Night Live has always been an insane nutcase but she sure is now…
http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/victoria-jackson-conservative-idiocy
Sorry… 9 years. I don’t know where 12 came from. Chiba maybe.
lost is for retarded people who like a tv show that has no end…
you tried 12 positions lastnight babe…
chiba is causing you lack of memory…
FUCK!!!
I meant smoke
off course its smoke…
WHAT?! What exactly do you want Herbert?
Although you may spend your days smoking My plant and operating on patients, I am quite busy you know.
L isn’t retarded, Herbman. She likes The X-Files. Even if she likes Lost, her love of The X-Files cancels out any retardation she might have from liking Lost. That’s how quality X-Files entertainment is… it makes retardos smart. Ben wouldn’t be so retarded if he liked The X-Files.
Thanks for the reminder of where the “12″ came from. For a second there I was worried that I was secretly thinking about Battlesux Galacticock.
God,
Don’t you hate Desperate House Wives?
Thanks Nun!
Yes, of course, which is why I smote that show with bad ratings.
Ok, God…
But thank You for listen my prayer!
And thank You for keeping my patients alive, im sure that isn´t only my Doctor skills…
They really need You when i´m about to cut them You know?
shut up, herb.
the rest of you——————-fuck off.
are you crying cracka ?
cracka weeps because he loves all of mankind.
that’s so gay!
cracka weeps because he wishes all of mankind had one neck - and he had his hands around it.
Pfft… Cracka weeps because he has no penis.
Face!
Gen X rocks. Even if we are getting fucked in the ass right now.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29497408/
heh, you know what, i’m gen-x, but I’ve never gotten any kind of good timing. when i graduated there was a recession, and now that i have a job for a little while there’s a fucking depression. fuck you very much america.
You’re also retarded, Ben. That’s why you have lousy timing.
i knew it Ben… you clean up toilets at the mall isn´t it ?there is no shame about that… we all know that someone with Down Syndrome don´t have skills…
but cheer up ben… fatih in God it´s all that got left for you.
no i don’t clean up toilets. i wish, that would be respectable work. i work at a dick-sucking factory.
i believe in God.
i believe in God.
i believe in God.
i believe in God.
after all you are a dick-sucking fag…
poor guy….
feel sorry for you, really.
No, Herbman. Ben is not gay. Ben is too ugly to be gay.
but Unpleasanter Jew likes ugly gay people….
God,
I contacted WBC via their “contact me” link on their website. I told them how poe-fully delicious they were. I told them that they make me laugh my ass off!!!
Forgive me!
Ben, there’s no shame in you working at the dick-sucking factory.
The shame is in all the unpaid voluntary overtime you do.
he is so ugly that people charge him for a blowjob….
did you instruct them to consult God’s Divine Blog to ascertain what He REALLY hates? maybe, if they get their signs right, He will love them like he loves bridgette.
God, Saint Patrick’s Day is coming up. I know it’s not drinking green beer until I puke/shit/piss green, and know he chased all the snakes out of Ireland, but don’t know anything else. Can You help?
/\ /\ /\ talkin’ to lyds.
I had a physical yesterday.
My doctor told me to lose weight to feel better, when I asked him how, he said, ‘Fill your plate with bright colors - reds, greens, yellows, etc.”
On my way home I bought a pound of M&Ms.
He’s right - I felt better immediately!
man, you’re old.
What? The M&Ms or giving up green beer?
the fact that you have m&m jokes in your repertoire.
“i don’t care what anybody says, when you’re down to your last M&M it’s just called an M.”
name that comic!
there can be……………….
ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn…drawing a blank..is he old?
LOL, hope you got another inch, but I’m sure a penis smite is in your future.
John Pinette? Lovell Crawford? Bruce Bruce?
i’m sure it is…
he’s dead. recently. last few years. multiple drug overdose.
“escalators never really break down. they just become stairs. the sign should say ’sorry for the convenience’.”
I likes chocolate. I play ‘M&M Evolution’: Take two M’s. squeeze them against each other. One will break. Eat it, set the winner aside, test two more M’s. Repeat until all have passed or been eaten.
Now test all the second-rounders. Eventually, you will be left with the Alpha M.
Save it for seed.
Chris Farley?
‘multiple drug overdose’. That doesn’t limit the dead comedian’s pool.
Mitch Hedberg? Eric Douglas?
Hedberg.
mitch hedburg.
Cracka, did we win part of your quickening?
hedberg.
i used to do a lot of drugs…i still do a lot of drugs, but i used to, too.
fags
“When I go out to dinner with a group of friends and someone offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet because inside is a note that says ’say thanks’.”
God,
Is Joaquin Phoenix punking the public or did he just go bat-shit insane? If he is punking the public, does he realize it’s not humorous or amusing?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090312/ap_on_en_mo/people_joaquin_phoenix
i will donate one centimeter each to ben and yoyo.
nun’s joke-”but, cracka! then you will have an inny!”
that nun is HI-larious.
God, is nun mindlessly obsessed with celebrities or is she just trying to bore us into a passive state of vulnerability because she has evil designs to implant alien brain worms into our ear canals???
One centimeter? Cheap bastard.
“cracka, i would never starve my brain worms like that! they deserve better!”
fuck, she’s funny.
That’s on the front page of Yahoo, Cracka. Quite frankly, you’d have to be living under a rock in the US if you haven’t been exposed to Phoenix’s change of profession.
But I am obsessed with the celebrities that I would soooo totally fuck… I can name some if you’d like.
did anybody see South Park last night? besides the fact that it was awesome, does anybody else think they’ll be sued by Disney?
Noooooooooooooooooooooo!! I agree with the people who say this guy should be honored.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090312/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_iraq
I didn’t see it, Ben. Maybe I should have.
yoyo-419. after like 10 quickenings that’ll be a dull decimeter!
how do you honor a guy like that? throw hats at him? throw shoes AWAY from him? give him a harem of black eyed virgins?
I wouldn’t expect you to have any ideas, Cracka. He’s from another country and you’re just an ignorant Americanus cracka.
damn right you should have seen it ya W.H.O.R.E.
Worn-Out
Hoo-Errrrifyingly
Old
Robotic
E-Vagina
Make him work as a shoe salesman.
Wow. That’s not nearly as clever as you think it is, Ben.
shut up cunt!
you´r all crazy people….
and cracka, aspirin and sleep pills are not considered drugs yet….
piss off, wanker.
Ben’s the wanker. Herbman is a chiba-head illiterate Brazillian and that makes him a-ok in my book.
i was in the airport trying to buy papers and that guy polish my shoes!
Herbman’s also a little crazy but he’s still a-ok in my book.
a-ok? lame!
W - White-bitch Nun The
H - Harlot Sells Her
O - Obese
R - Rotten Pussy on
E - Ebay for Cheap
luv you too Nun…
i´m not crazy… im just not normal you know the difference ?
Ben…. you are a freak show!
Shut Up.
Ben’s just desperately hoping that somebody will find him clever and amusing. Poor Ben.
shutupwhore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TvwhB_2-vs
i want…
the 444º COMMENT!
44 is the crazy life number!
Herbman is the real-life Fawful.
where do you come from with those words….
what is Fawful ?
you what Fawful are! you!
Herbman can always take comfort in the fact that he’s not Ben.
Nun can always take comfort in the fact that she call sell her crusty old vaj for 5 bucks a splooge.
that makes me the happiest man the world…
i don´t wish this for nobody… there must be anymore Bens in the world…
God, why you gave Ben a life
hey, at least I don’t live in Brazil.
Fine. I’ll go away now. I’m tired of this abuse. Fuck you all forever and shit. I’m still reading this blog but I’m not going to waste my time talking to you fucks. I could be reading the news.
Awww… Ben’s being a fag.
Now you have a point Ben.
At least you don’t live in Brazil.
And you are not a desperate Brazilian in USA begging for help.
Don’t go, Ben! Remember, Cracka shared his quickening with us! It’s not all bad.
One day you’ll be grateful to us for taking the time each day to teach you to withstand relentless and wanton cruelty.
Cheer up. We still love you. I think.
shut up, ben.
read this, it’ll cheer you up.
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/03/that_was_predictable.php
BRAZIL.SUCKS.ASS.ORG.
WHAT.DO.BRAZILIANS.THINK.OF.THIS?
What is wrong with my people?
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1884393,00.html?xid=feed-yahoo-top-linkbox
It reminds me when God was still creating the world.
He created the Stupid Asia. After that He decided to put huge tsunamis and terrible earthquakes.
He created USA. After that decided to put twisters and make very dry seasons to set fire on the houses and everything.
So God created many places and decided to fuck them with a sort of catastrophe later.
And then… He creates Brazil… with beautiful forests, plenty fresh water, gold, diamonds, petroil, water falls, etc…
Gabriel saw that and sai to God:
- Hey Boss, You must love this place. Every country you have created so far you fucked somehow. And now you make Brazil and it is amazing! And nothing to fuck it. What a blessed country!
Then God said to Gabriel:
- Blessed country??? Hahahaha, wait until you see the bunch of illiterate bastards I’m gonna put there.
LOL L!
my love is like a drunken wench that kicks me in the ass/ and dances ’round deliriously while I writhe upon the grass / she never kisses without pinching, never laughs for free / I curse, I scream, I shake my fist, then glumly pay her fee.
well said, Lesbo. well said. God, is that pretty much how it went?
God,
Is this true?
http://www.buzzfeed.com/reddit/god-hates-figs
LOL!! Classic, L!! Good show, Lesbo!
Nun, was this you?
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/why-does-steam-come-out-of-my-vagina
I mean, we’ve all heard of smoking after sex…
Hey Josh, where ya been?
No, Yo. When that happened to me I didn’t ask about it on Yahoo questions.
I love that one response… “pics or it didn’t happen”.
I been around, reading you guys and the Brazilian nuts.
Nun - I wonder if that was cracka’s response.
Josh, just don’t play with your nuts while reading us guys.
CLEAR.OUT.YOUR.CACHE.
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CLEAR.OUT.YOUR.CACHE.
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CLEAR.OUT.YOUR.CACHE.
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CLEAR.OUT.YOUR.CACHE.
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CLEAR.OUT.YOUR.CACHE.
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that’s 25 cents, ben.
Nice Ben-Bot, Ben!
Isn’t it 25 cents each times he says it? That’s like $1.25. Jeez, you’re a moron.
MUST. KILL. WHORE.
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MUST. KILL. WHORE.
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MUST. KILL. WHORE.
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sorry, whore. it’s a nickel every time. let’s see here, it might be easier for you to understand this way: it’s two blowjobs and one handjob.
the chick with the steaming vagina is too stupid to realize that her toilet holds cold water and her body temperature is 98.6 and vapor is…well, vapor. i bet she’s blindly walked into a few gangbangs in her day.
479-selfFACE!!!!
Anyone got change for a buck?
You are all crazy to me…
I bet the chick with the steaming vagina never saw a dog take a dump on a cold day.
Nun does for free on me…
Thanks guys!
It’s my pleasure to share that situation with you all.
Maybe God should give us more details.
L Woman’s statement is fairly accurate. I made Brazil a paradise but filled it with morons.
And Josh, no, I do not hate figs. That must be a typo. I hate fags. I’m neutral on figs. Jesus on the other hand, don’t get him started - he really hates figs, but loves fags (as he is one.)
herbert’s a fecal-freak. it’s all coming into focus now.
i bet the chick with the steaming vagina has seen a dog crap on a cold day, but couldn’t figure that out either.
thanks, God!!
that solves that.
I remember Jesus wanted figs out of season, and withered the tree in anger when he couldn’t have any. You’d think he would just do a miracle and make it produce!
Half-century quickening coming up.
No one going to advance the counter?
I’M GAME
JOSH == LURKER.
KILL JOSH. KILL JOSH. KILL JOSH.
why would i go from not capitalizing anything to ALL-CAPS?
that’s gay.
josh can’t be trusted
there can be……………………
ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the half milennium quickening is extra big.
did i cheat? yes.
was it worth it? yes.
who the fuck is herbert cracka ? your drunk step fatherr ?
focus this: _)_
or maybe Herbert is the name that your wife scream when she´s “fucking” with you, dickless mother fucker…
Whoa! Mickey Mouse spits fire and shit.
sorry Lord for my angry…
need that blessed chiba to calm down.
herbert,
YOU are herbert.
you’re only a doctor of not being a doctor.
i don’t think you can earn a doctorate in masturbating and scraping the res out of your one hitter.
shut up, ben-bot.
your mama likes to play Doctor with me.
and i´m very good at it.
ask her
IF BEN-BOT.COMMENTS.ACTIVE THEN
PRINTLN “SHUTUP BEN”
END IF
END SUBROUTINE
DOES NOT COMPUTE!
ERROR! ERROR!
ON ERROR GOTO ERR_CMDCLOSE_CLICK
DOCMD.CLOSE
EXIT_CMDCLOSE_CLICK:
EXIT SUBROUTINE
ERR_CMDCLOSE_CLICK:
MSGBOX ERR.DESCRIPTION “Ben-bot Busted!”
RESUME EXIT_CMDCLOSE_CLICK
Holy synaptic overload!
DESTROY! DESTROY!
Go to a fucking nerd blog Yo Yo!!!!
im still very angry!
http://www.abcnews.go.com/Technology/AheadoftheCurve/story?id=7049327&page=1
ANSWER == NO
I didn’t want to do this, doc, but a nerd’s gotta do what a nerd’s gotta do.
I have copied your IP address, phone and email information to all the Call Centers in the Western Hemisphere. In addition, I sent your GoogleMap location to every crack addict in the Southern Hemisphere.
Expect great calls like:
(8 pm, local time) “Dr. Herbman? Would you like to try Preparation X, the new eXtreme hemorrhoid treatment?”click
(11.45 pm, local time) “Meester Hervemeen, I am a bank manager for a a large Nigerian bank-”click!
(2.33am, local time) “Jews for Jesus!”SLAM!!
Silly Yo thinks they have phones in Brazil. What a retard.
LOL, my bad! Doc Herb will get smoke signals, or maybe spam mail delivered by monkeys!
I
HATE
HERBMAN.
DESTROY!
DESTROY!
DESTROY!
Yeah but he won’t be able to read it because he’s illiterate. The monkey will have to read it for him.
I like Herbman but Ben is annoying. He’s like a little gay fly that doesn’t know he’s gay buzzing around my ear.
KILL! KILL! KILL!
It’s a role he seems to be comfortable in.
I have declared this comment as divine.
That’s because he’s a closeted gay working with gays. He should come out of the closet so Jew can get is freak on with Ben’s dick.
I wonder if Bloodvork is gay too.
ERROR! ERROR!
AM NOT GAY.
AM NOT GAY.
KILL WHORE!
WHERE IS THE ONE CALLED ANNE JOHNSON?
“LOL, my bad! Doc Herb will get smoke signals, or maybe spam mail delivered by monkeys!”
LOL, awesome
Robo Fagatron,
You are gay. Here’s video proof from your vlog.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBUImjOCg5g
Dear Almighty,
Thank you very much!
I’m just your humble illiterate servant.
Amen
That isn’t me, that’s my cousin.
Man!! The only time I get divine comment of the day is when I impersonate dumbass Josh impersonating our Beautiful Lord God.
I’M DISGRUNTLED!!
You aren’t funny either.
Sorry, Ben but you’re too stupid to realize mock anger when you see it so forgive me for thinking your opinion is a big pile of steaming poo.
Up your butt!
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Where is AJ??
While I understand that womankind’s uncontrollable attraction to me is not verification of my heterosexuality, I struggle to find the ambiguity on the subject.
God, almost got killed today…
Thank You for my Basic Survival Instinct, saved my life.
now im chillin, in my room andwearing my underwear with cracka´s mom signature on it.
Shut up, Robot Ben.
A quick guess: Dr. Herbman likes weed, I bet.
Where’s the sheepfucker?
Screw you, Hume Cronyn.
The sheepfucker has left us claiming that they won’t let him be here at work.
Nice avatar, asshole. Get with the fucking program jerkweed.
Your avatar rules, AWESOME-O.
You’re the Butters of this web site, aren’t you, Ben?
Fag-Bot-Ben just sent me this in a private message! Homo!
Sorry i forgot the link, here it is:
http://www.sonypictures.com/tv/shows/gayrobot/myspace/cards/images/gr_lubeyou.jpg
Who made you pope of this dump?
What that’s? Does the pope shit in the woods? Hah?
I am not the butters! You’re the poop of this dump.
all rise for his holiness, the pope of poop.
God’s next post will be #69. What do you guys think it should be? I’m voting for “69,’ as in the sexual position.
#69 69
Ha!
#69 is the best number in the whole world and I have faith that God will do it justice.
Ben is the Butters of this site. He’s also the Ralph. He’s a Ralph/Butters hybrid.
Come on, no suggestions? Geez we suck.
Jon Stewart is a pimp and I want to have his pimp babies!!
jon stewart pretty much FACEd the shit out of cramer last night. if i wasn’t such a prick i would have felt a little bad for the guy.
nun, jon stewart is a successful man and he did it through legal means. he is in no way a pimp and he in no way wants to have relations with a whore.
Not only are you a prick but you’re ignorant as well. “Pimp” doesn’t always mean manager of hos, it can be slang for “really swell guy”. Jeez you’re dumb.
why should God hate the number 69 Ben ?
Shut Up…
you said that you would never comment here again, so be a man and do as you said….