Stuff God Hates

Mar 5th, 2009 by God

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!

I, The Almighty Lord God, HATE FAGS! I always have. Their constant faggotronics piss Me off something good.

Fags are all a bunch of effeminate cocksucker assholes! They should all totally get jumped and get the snot knocked out of their stupid fag faces.

I HATE FAGS SO MUCH! But you’ve probably heard this all before, as My Divine Hatred of fags is quite well known. Ask a little kid. Even they know God hates fags.

However, people always misinterpret the meaning of this. They always think it means I hate men who are attracted to other men. Simply not true. As I’ve said countless times before, I have absolutely no problem with homosexual men, I only hate anal sex and anyone who loves having it.

But that’s not what I’m talking about here. When I use the word ‘fag,’ I’m referring to someone who’s a whiny little bitch; a politically correct drama queen; the kind of stupid lame douchey guy who watches MTV, wears Hollister, drives a VW Jetta, drinks Diet Coke, recycles, and then weeps when someone tells him that he’s a total fag!

Fags are a species of human (Homo Faggotensis) that feed off of what is popular now. They dress in only the trendiest dandified clothing. They are sissies obsessed with being ‘hip.’ If they say they love the Bible, it’s only because it makes them popular to say that. In private, fags often drink wine-coolers and finger their brother while he’s passed out.

But I don’t only hate the loser-variety of fags. I also hate bundles of sticks! How dare you humans gather sticks together and assemble them into faggots?! You wicked sinners! I never ever gave you permission to do such a thing!

I also hate the Guatemalan Air Force! FAG (Fuerza Aerea Guatemalteca)! All the pilots are total fags!

And yet, while I hate fags of all kinds, I do not in any way hate the word ‘fag.’ It’s a great word and I demand you use it often. Call a fag a fag!

I, The Almighty Lord, have spoken.

Tags: Fags, God, Hate, Jonas Brothers

Posted in People, Sins

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439 Responses to “#67 Fags”

on 05 Mar 2009 at 6:56 am1Seniorita Sal Vation

I can proudly say, I have never in my life gathered a bundle of sticks together.

<3 SSV
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:05 am2The Grim Reaper

In Australia we happen to call cigarettes ‘fags’.

If You just happen to hate fags, does that mean You also hate cigarettes?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:15 am3Tony Snow

Judging by her avatar, it seems as if Seniorita Sal aspires to be a fag. You go, girrrl !!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 1:21 pm4Yo Yo Ma Ma

Alright, since God Himself approved the word, I’ll start calling of you fags.

Fags.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 1:52 pm5Dr. Herbman

after all im still smoking my blessed chiba…
on 05 Mar 2009 at 1:55 pm6Dr. Herbman

beloved blessed chiba…

THANK YUO MY LORD!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 2:11 pm7lalalala
on 05 Mar 2009 at 2:13 pm8lalalala

you are a fag too god!!
i hate you! so much.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 2:27 pm9Seniorita Sal Vation

Shutup Tony Snow! You are a fag! That’s why you’re dead!!! Fag!!!

<3 SSV
on 05 Mar 2009 at 2:31 pm10Seniorita Sal Vation

In Australia they say “I’m gonna go have a fag.” and “Crikeys a fag would be so good right now” and “Hey matey! Do you have a fag on you?” and “This fag is just what i needed!” hahahahahhahahahahahaha

<SSV
on 05 Mar 2009 at 2:52 pm11Nun Ur Damned Bizness

They call cigarettes ‘fags’ in the UK as well. Patsy was always smoking a fag while tormenting poor Saphron.

God,

I love You with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns!! You have described so beautifully and accurately the ‘human fag’. I’ve known so many whiney, drama-queens and I just want to slap them across their whiney fag faces… is that appropriate behavior to show my love for You, O Heavenly Father?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:26 pm12Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Hey God,

I can’t rate this post. I’m not talking about the comments beneath Your Divine Post, I mean the actual post, Your Divine Words of Wisdom. Was the rating system fucking with the Divine Server again? I believe the rating system is evil and the work of Satan, God.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:32 pm13uppity cracka

despite the absence of a rating system, i rate this one…mmm…uhh….a TEN!!!!

i can’t believe the jonas brothers fingers each other’s butts while they drink wine coolers.

actually, yeah i can.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:37 pm14God

Nun - Yes, the ratings system is evil and I have done away with it.

Thank you for your love Nun. Yes, slapping them is good, but smacking them with a 2×4 or whacking them with a baseball bat is even better. That will toughen them up quick.

Dr. Herbman - You are welcome My stoned disciple.

YoYo - Don’t call people who aren’t fags fags. Call only people who deserve it a fag. And do it with enthusiasm or don’t do it at all!

Grim - No, I don’t hate cigarettes. I love cigarettes. I enjoy the rich flavor and relaxation they provide Me, and I also love how they smite sinners for Me.

lalalalala - DAMN YOU!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:47 pm15Yo Yo Ma Ma

God - there’s a man in this building (he wears a wool coat that looks like it’s from Woolwich, but it cost $300!) that’s a real poser. Fag material?

He never orders anything straight off the menu, but has to ask for substitutions all the time, wasting valuable eating/drinking time. (A bunch of us went to the local bar to celebrate a birthday, he was in the group.)

I’ll call him a fag next time he pulls this crap.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:48 pm16Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Yo Yo,

Don’t be such a fucking whiney pussy fag!
.
.
That’s how you call people fags, Yo. Please make a note of it you fucking fag.

God,

How do I distinguish my fag-bashing from the gay-bashing? I was thinking about wearing a sign that says “fag-bashing for God”.

And can I stick the baseball bats and 2×4s of their bums, God? Or is that too close to anal?

I do it all for You, God!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:49 pm17Nun Ur Damned Bizness

err… I want to stick baseball bats and 2×4s up their bums and not of their bums. I’m just a stupid vagina and got really excited about fag-bashing.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:52 pm18Yo Yo Ma Ma

LOL, Ok Nun, you win!

From now on, if anyone gets faggy, I’ll tell them! HR be damned!

You’re all fucking whiney pussy fags!

How was that?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:53 pm19God

As you should Nun! As you should!

Don’t stick anything up their anuses, they might like it and I hate that. Just stick to toughening them up with violence.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:53 pm20God

Yo Yo, yes, you should definitely call that guy a fag.

That reminds Me, I hate HR too.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:56 pm21Josh

God,
Do You also hate Vanity Smurf? I always thought he was a raging homo.

http://www.smurf.com/images/meet_us/vanity.jpg
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:56 pm22Yo Yo Ma Ma

Damned. right. It’s worse here, I work for a mental health agency. Lots of ‘group meetings’ about sexual harassment (which became men-bashing) and stuff like that. HR has monthly memos about respecting people’s (sexual) identity and such.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:58 pm23God

Josh - YES! Vanity Smurf is a perfect example of a fag.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:58 pm24Yo Yo Ma Ma

Is Snagglepuss gay, or a fag?
http://moralauthority.wordpress.com/2007/07/22/sunday-morning-cartoon-12/
on 05 Mar 2009 at 3:59 pm25Yo Yo Ma Ma

Or Popeye?
http://dir.salon.com/story/opinion/feature/2005/02/05/cartoon_characters/
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:03 pm26God

Yo Yo, Snagglepuss is legitimately gay and has fought off his anal urges for decades out of love for Me.

And Popeye is not gay or a fag. He’s a very manly cartoon.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:14 pm27Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I agree with God and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t say a fucking thing. It’s a thin line at times between gay and fag but there’s a line nonetheless.

Freddie Mercury - gay
Zac Efron - fag
David Hyde Pierce - gay
Sir Elton John - fag
Chad Allen - gay
Tom Cruise - fag

You see, you don’t even have to be gay to be a flaming fag.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:19 pm28uppity cracka

there’s a thin line between whore and slut:

anna nicole smith-whore
megan fox-slut
nun-slutwhore
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:23 pm29Nun Ur Damned Bizness

There’s a thin line between being a fucking idiot and being retarded. I remain undecided on Cracka’s affliction who does not understand the difference between ’slut’ and ‘whore’. I’m leaning towards ‘dumber than a bag of rocks’.

Is Megan Fox really a slut? And is she as hot as they make it seem?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:26 pm30Ben

LOL!

Fantastic post God! Fucking brilliant.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:32 pm31Josh

everyone refresh your cache! Ben changed his avitar to a set of brown lips!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:37 pm32Ben

What? I thought it was good. Our God is an awesome God. You don’t agree?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:41 pm33American Psycho

shutup, fag.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:42 pm34Josh

I agree Ben, God is good all the time. No need to say that this time He’s great, implying there are times he is not. Is that what you were saying? That this blog stands out against His other blogs? Are you saying He is not divinely perfect every time?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:43 pm35Josh

PS - nice try
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:48 pm36Ben

fuck you AP. Yeah that’s what I’m saying Josh. Some of God’s posts are funnier and more timely than other. They’re all good but this one is just awesome given Curtis not fucking understanding the difference between calling someone a fag cause they’re gay and calling someone a fag cause they’re a stupid douche.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:51 pm37Josh

So Ben, you’re saying that sometimes God’s blog it not that funny?

I smell a smite coming on.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 4:56 pm38Nun Ur Damned Bizness

The retard is making some sense, Ben. God is good and great all the time. It is the fault of the mortal if they do not recognize the Diving Timing and Amazingness of God’s Holy Blog. Please make a note of it before I slap your whiney fag face.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:04 pm39Ben

God is always great! But sometimes he’s really great.

Please don’t smite me Lord.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:17 pm40Bei Shen

What about lesbians? Do you hate lesbians too?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:18 pm41God

Bei Shen - DAMN YOU! I did not say I hate gays! I said I hate fags! You stupid fucking Asian! Learn to read!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:19 pm42uppity cracka

God, i hate asians. especially the chinese ching chong fags.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:21 pm43uppity cracka

nun, yes, megan fox is both hot and slutty.

unlike you, who are both cavernously split at the crotch and whorey.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:22 pm44uppity cracka

can’t even tell the difference between nun’s vagina and nun’s asshole…it’s like one big swirling tarpit sealing in well preserved penis fossils and bits of rodents that ventured a bit too close to the edge.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:26 pm45Nun Ur Damned Bizness

HAHA!! God FACEd Bei Shen for being a stupid ching-chong.

I AM NOT WHOREY!! Damn you, Cracka! DAMN YOU!!

Ha!! One of the fags on the Cowboys got cut…

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=ap-cowboys-tocut&prov=ap&type=lgns
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:33 pm46Yo Yo Ma Ma

Hurf… thanks for the visual, cracka. Now I got to get lunch again. I also have to get a new keyboard.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:35 pm47Yo Yo Ma Ma

Prince Charles a fag?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090305/wl_uk_afp/lifestylebritainroyalsfashion
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:38 pm48Bei Shen

Lesbians are gays? How odd. I always refer to them as lesbians. Maybe dykes. But certainly not gays.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:40 pm49Dr. Herbman

Thank you God!

Now i can finally send a prayer!

Tell Bob Marley i say hello!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:44 pm50Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Somebody get me to the UK. My burro and I had already discussed going to one of his shows if he did Vegas when that was a rumor. I didn’t like him when he was popular but I think he’s been villified for being a darkie so I would so totally support him now. I would so totally not fuck him though.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20090305/ten-jackson-to-announce-uk-comeback-gigs-ea4616c.html

Yo,

Prince Charles is not a fag, he’s simply British. Just like C3P0 is not a fag, he’s simply British.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:47 pm51uppity cracka

hmm…can you think of a team that needs wide receivers?

a team named seahawks, maybe?

funny story from brad childress, when he was O coordinator for the eagles T.O. told him not to speak to him for the rest of the season (his last). so, just to piss him off, chilly would find the prick wherever he was in the complex and say, “hi, terrell! how are you today?!”

haha.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:49 pm52Josh

God,
What if a fag, who is not gay, put his penis in another man’s but not because he liked it sexually but because it was trendy at the time? How would You smite such a man?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:56 pm53Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Cracka,

I will be saddened beyond belief if my much-loved team signs that whiney fag face.

Who’s gonna take me to Britain?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 6:04 pm54uppity cracka

maybe you can pretend to be someone’s british gay (not fag) lover and, when your pretend visa expires, they will send you back to…

nevermind, bad plan.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 6:45 pm55Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I just want to see a Michael Jackson show and stalk Gillian Anderson for a bit. I’m sure I’d only need a few days across the pond to accomplish that. Oh, wait… doesn’t Depp live in France? I need to have sex with him so somebody needs to take me to France too.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 6:50 pm56uppity cracka

Sir, i am saddened to report that i failed in last night’s attempt to bring You the head of that nazi heathen atheist fucker richard dawkins. there were 4,000 people there. the place was overcrowded with evil sports fans and evil atheist fans. those of us who were there with our blessed machetes to fulfill Your perfect will could not get them through security. they had big mean looking dudes to keep us sane people from handing out the divine justice that You demand. maybe You can get that guy with the truck to run him over? that being said, if i didn’t already know You were real from reading Your Divine Blog every day i’d have to admit that that british (not gay, but kind of faggy) bugger makes a pretty convincing argument.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:03 pm57God

I know Cracka! I know you failed. Do you know why? He was not on the new arrivals bus to hell this morning.

And what is this? You say Dawkins makes a pretty convincing argument? BLASPHEMY! His arguments are hogwash! His mind is pudding! You weak-minded fool!

Cracka, I am severely disappointed with your inability to assassinate. I expected more from you. Let Me help you; I will email you his address. I expect that to be enough.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:09 pm58anne johnson

I confess to gathering bundles and bundles of faggots. It goes with being Druid.

I don’t think I’ll dump my cookies today. If Ben has exchanged uppity rodent (which I like) with brown lips (which sound faggy), I’ll leave well enough alone.

Nun, why do you want to see Michael Jackson? He’ll put the moves on your little loser.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:10 pm59uppity cracka

whatever You say, Sir. my foolish mortal mind cannot fathom the complexities of Your universe. but i can sure behead a heretic!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:10 pm60anne johnson

Dawk putting a dent in the old followers’ list, God? Awwww. So sorry to hear it. NOT.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:11 pm61anne johnson

Cracka, don’t confuse beheading a heretic with twisting the cap off a beer bottle.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:13 pm62uppity cracka

whoa. i don’t know if anyone of you have ever been emailed by God…but His email is not like our earth email. it just *poof* appears in your mind. i know what to do now. i will behead every faggy looking old sciencey guy in america and uk until i get him…
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:16 pm63uppity cracka

starting here, following his american university tour and back to oxford…at his home address if it gets that far.

must

behead

blasphemers

must

behead

blasphemers

shut

up

ben

must

behead

blasphemers
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:26 pm64Nun Ur Damned Bizness

God,

Will you please email me Gillian Anderson’s address so I can properly stalk her when I find myself in the UK? I’d also like Johnny Depp’s address too. I will not stalk him, instead I will expose him to my vagina and all the wonders that accompany it.

Anne,

I don’t buy that Michael Jackson is a pedophile. I never have. People like to forget about all the good that he’d done for children before a few gold-diggers decided they wanted a piece of his fortune.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:28 pm65Josh

Chris Brown chared with 2 felony counts! He faces up to 9 years in jail. There is a God (Be we already knew that)
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:32 pm66Nun Ur Damned Bizness

We know he’s chared, Josh. All black people are chared, that’s how they got to be black. Jeez, you’re retarded.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:35 pm67anne johnson

Cracka, put my name on your blasphemer list, if it’s not already there. God all Up-Tighty put my blog in His list of Blasphemous Blogs. It belongs there. So get your axe and bring it on, snow boy, cuz u don’t stand a chance where I live, yo.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:37 pm68anne johnson

Go easy on Josh, Nun. He’s probably typing with one hand while holding a cranky baby.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:39 pm69anne johnson

Cracka, if you go on a beheading spree, be prepared for the consequences.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090305/ap_on_re_ca/canada_bus_beheading
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:40 pm70Josh

actually Anne, I’m typing with one hand while with the other I do kung fu with chop sticks
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:44 pm71Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I was going to say that I’d never heard a penis referred to as a “cranky baby”. I do see the similarities though.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:55 pm72Ben

yeah, they both spit up.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:57 pm73Ben

look Josh! God changed the second picture to the smurf one you showed.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 7:58 pm74Josh

YES! God does love me!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:07 pm75Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Of course He does. You’re retarded. He hates your parents.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:09 pm76anne johnson

#72: Ben, that was actually funny!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:11 pm77Josh

Anne #76 - No it wasn’t.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:16 pm78Ben

FACE!

….

HEY!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:17 pm79Yo Yo Ma Ma

Spitting up is OK. Drooling is…nasty.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:25 pm80uppity cracka

just ask nun’s vagina’s drowning victims.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:26 pm81Yo Yo Ma Ma

That wasn’t a little drool, it was a flood.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:28 pm82uppity cracka

you were there, too!!!

(shudder, shudder)
those poor, brave men…
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:30 pm83Yo Yo Ma Ma

I’ve blocked most of the memories…PTSD kicks in once in awhile…the horror…the horror…
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:34 pm84Dr. Herbman

shut up Ben…
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:36 pm85Nun Ur Damned Bizness

You’re both just jealous because I won’t let either of you near my luscious vajayjay. You’re not fooling anybody but yourselves which isn’t that difficult considering how stupid you both are.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:37 pm86suihuish

fuck it
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:39 pm87anne johnson

Cracka and Yo Yo sound like two kids who insult a party they weren’t invited to.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:40 pm88Yo Yo Ma Ma

It’s the curse of my life, Nun.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:42 pm89Yo Yo Ma Ma

Anne, yeah, well, crcak and I have our own group of cool kids and our own table at lunch!

We also have our own bus. There’s not many of us, so it’s shorter than the other busses.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:42 pm90anne johnson

Nun is more eloquent than me.

#86 - Honey, I might, but I’ll need a little more information about what “it” is. If “it” is Beckham, okey dokey.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:42 pm91Yo Yo Ma Ma

Him dammit - I meant ‘buses’. I think.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:44 pm92Josh

no yo yo, you meant busses, as the the retarded busses.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:44 pm93anne johnson

Gee, Ben, where do you suppose the Mop Room Fairy is today?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:44 pm94Nun Ur Damned Bizness

The short bus is because you’re stupid, Yo. And you don’t have any real friends. The only people who hang out at the table are the ones who know you’re dumb enough to trade your twinkies for their apple.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:44 pm95Ben

hey Herbman, you never could quite figure out how to get an avatar huh? did i remind you to clear out your cache???
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:45 pm96Ben

how the fuck do I know anne. I’m not the mop room fairy. why don’t you ask yo yo or josh??
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:46 pm97anne johnson

If I get 100, I’ll sell it to whoever needs a bigger dick.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:47 pm98anne johnson

You know what works great for clearing out the cache? Bean soup.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:47 pm99anne johnson

Yo Yo, are you the Mop Room Fairy?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:47 pm100Mop Room Fairy

Anne,
I could not post because I was busy going through your underwear drawer. I can only stalk you in so many mediums. I’m just a fairy not a god.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:48 pm101anne johnson

Josh, are you the Mop Room Fairy?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:49 pm102anne johnson

100 goes to the Mop Room Fairy, but one can’t add inches to something one doesn’t have.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:49 pm103anne johnson

Now I know what happened to all my thongs. GIVE ME BACK MY THONGS, YOU CREEPER!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:49 pm104Mop Room Fairy

Anne,
It looks as if I will receive the extra inches from God, perhaps you would like to come test them out. I do have half a sandwich left over from Jameul’s lunch.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:49 pm105Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Josh plays a role. He very well may be Mop Room Fairy and I believe he’s Lucifer as well.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:50 pm106anne johnson

Nothin plus nothin leaves nothin. You gotta have somethin, if you wanna be with me.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:52 pm107Mop Room Fairy

I am neither the curmudgeon Yo Yo nor the retard Josh. I am the Mop Room Fairy, summoned here by your love of public school lunches. If you will excuse me, I have to get back to rummaging through your sock drawer.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:53 pm108Josh

Nun,
I play what role? That of a ching chong danny devito?

Just watched Lakeview Terrace last night; SUCKS!!!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:54 pm109anne johnson

Whoever Mop Room Fairy is, did you find my divorce aid? It’s been missing for awhile.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:55 pm110Yo Yo Ma Ma

The apple wasn’t bruised! And I gave the Twinkies to cracka, he claimed he’d eaten the filling, but the Twinkies were still full when he returned them.

I wasn’t interested in Twinkies after that.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:56 pm111Yo Yo Ma Ma

Anne, do you need batteries for your B.O.B.?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:57 pm112uppity cracka

what the fuck is happening here?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:58 pm113uppity cracka

holy fucking fuck:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29515505/

really?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:58 pm114anne johnson

Excuse me, MRF. Get this straight. The lunches I eat aren’t the swill they throw at the students. They’re gourmet dishes created by the Culinary Arts students. As to my sock drawer, feel free. Perv.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 8:58 pm115Josh

yo mom is happening here! BAZING!

* Taken from teh Ben’s great internet Jokes Book
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:00 pm116Josh

I would take that guy’s balls and put them in an electric meat grinder, but I would rig the grinder to move so slow that his balls would heal before the next revolution, then I would set up a tube to pour lemonade and salt water on his nuts.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:03 pm117Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Josh,

Retarded Asian is not a role but your life, you poor bastard. I meant the role of Lucifer, or am I mistaken and that is not you?

Lakeview Terrace… isn’t that the one with Mother fucking Samuel L Mother fucking Jackson?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:07 pm118Josh

Samuel L Jackson is in it, but the mother fucker doesn’t say mother fucker once!!!!!!!
It was a bad movie all around.

Lucifer? Come on now, that’s a real dude.

From the movie The Prophecy, a great movie.

Lucifer: Little Tommy Daggett. How I loved listening to your sweet prayers. Then you would hop into bed, afraid that I was hiding under it. And I was!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:08 pm119anne johnson

Is there a meat grinder big enough for every priest in the Catholic Church? Plus Samuel L Jackson and the scriptwriters of Lakeview Terrace?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:09 pm120anne johnson

You know how to get Lucifer out from under your bed? Stuff your empty suitcases in there. You know how to get rid of pesky Mop Room Fairies? Lock them in an empty suitcase, stuff it under the bed, and call them FAG.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:09 pm121Josh

Sam Jackson is great, that was just a bad movie.
Black Snake Moan was a good movie, although nothing like the marketing behind it.
He’s a good actor, he’s just pickign some shit recently.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:13 pm122Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I don’t think he cares, Josh. I kind of admire him for that. I would sooooo totally fuck that mother fucking darkie. I wonder if God will give me his address too?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:13 pm123Mop Room Fairy

Anne,
“Mop Room Fairies”? That is your problem, there is only one Mop Room Fairy. The rest of these beguilers will be punished, in due time, all in due time.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:15 pm124Josh

Nun,
Did you see the Iconoclast with him and Bill Russell? Funny stuff. Those two really hate whitey.

The one with Dave Chappelle and Mya Angelo was teh best though.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:16 pm125Ben

i think Josh is the mop room fairy. They both makes spelling mistakes. like this: “over from Jameul’s lunch.” He meant to say Jamal and fucked it up like always cause he’s a retardo chingy chongo.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:16 pm126Yo Yo Ma Ma

“It’s the law of God: Do not kill. We consider this murder,” Miranda said”

The child weighed 80 pounds and was carrying twins - she might have died taking them to term. Disgusting country.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:18 pm127Yo Yo Ma Ma

Last night my wife and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, ‘I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug.’

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my beer.

She’s such a bitch.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:21 pm128Brad

Fags, huh? Uh oh. He must hate Cory and Ziggy from CornerKicked.com then.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:24 pm129Josh

Ben,
Although this might increminate me, Jemuel is actually a black kids name, hence the mop guy sayign it was a black kid’s lunch. I don’t think that was an error.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:24 pm130Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Who the fuck are Cory and Ziggy?

Josh,

I have not seen that. I don’t think I’ve even heard of it.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:24 pm131The Unpleasantest Jew

OMG SHAMELESS PLUG~!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:25 pm132Bloodvork

I don’t know a Ziggy, but I know a Dave.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:25 pm133Josh

Nice way to plug your blog brad!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:26 pm134Ben

brad is a fag’s name
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:26 pm135The Unpleasantest Jew

nice way to plug your butt, fag!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:27 pm136Josh

Iconoclast takes two people from different professions (both famous of course) and has them hang out. It’s a good show (most of the time).
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:31 pm137Burro

This is from Brads “about me”
“Well, I’m 5′6″, a Gemini, I like long walks on the beach, kittens, and snuggling under the covers.”
.
.
.
.
FAG
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:31 pm138Josh

factual FACE!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:33 pm139Burro

You really ought to check his “about me” it really does scream FAG!!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:34 pm140Josh

“If we get really nuts sometimes we’ll go out dancing, which I think is really fun, but usually only after 4 or 5 Miller Lites.”

FAGATOR king of the FAgs has spoken!!!! THAT’S ME
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:38 pm141uppity cracka

BLOODVORK!!!

the jew returns with a classic jew line.

i refuse to go to brad’s faggy site.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:38 pm142anne johnson

I never saw the name Jemuel before, but I’ve got to admit I do see some names. One day I had a student named Joel. He pronounced it Jo-El. So I told him that his name is half God, cuz God is aka El. Then the next time I tutored him there was another student with him. Daniel.

God, if you’re gonna be in their names, help them get outta the ghetto!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:39 pm143Josh

Favorite movies “Golly there are tons.”

I charge the defendant with engaging in the faggy arts, and using his about me page on his website, I will prove to you beyond a shadow of a doubt, he is indeed a fag LIKE ME. Now if you, the jury do indeed find the defendant guilty of faggotry, I need you to return a death penalty verdict. Can you do that?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:40 pm144The Unpleasantest Jew

the only thing faggier than josh has got to be brad smoley
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:41 pm145anne johnson

Anne, the computer retard, wants to know how Brad plugged his blog. On my computer, this thread doesn’t link to URLs. Or am I just a super-retarded plug-ugly decaying cunt?

Never mind.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:41 pm146The Unpleasantest Jew

anne, who the calls god el? el is superman’s last name. duh
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:42 pm147Josh

well said Jew.

I’m a fag, that that dude is off the fag meter! ALMOST AS MUCH AS ME
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:42 pm148anne johnson

… just admitted I’m decaying when I coulda shagged Bloodvork.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:42 pm149Brad

Yeah, I haven’t updated that site since 2003. I’ve since found God and rejected my fagatronic ways. I leave that site up as a reminder to myself about how to not be a fag and praise Him, everlasting.

There was never any sarcasm intended in any of that profile. I really did LOVE all of those things. There’s no sarcasm in THIS, either. If I had to change it, I’d only mention all of the anal sex I currently enjoy with men.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:43 pm150anne johnson

El is one of the old-time names God used to have. That’s why so many Jew places end in “el.” Jeez, Jew, you oughta know that.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:43 pm151Josh

From the Bradcives -

Additional “Useful” Info: Well, I’m 5′6″, a Gemini, I like long walks on the beach, kittens, and snuggling under the covers. Oh, and explosions. Big firey explosions.

Yes, he does love explosions; explosions under the covers, in his ass.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:43 pm152Brad

“I’d really like to go back and get my degree”

GOD that IS gay.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:44 pm153Josh

Brad don’t try to come here and pulg your faggy site, then try to take our fun away by admitting your a fag!!!

You need to deny it and get all angry about it. Then go home and suck a dick.

THATS WHAT I DO
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:44 pm154anne johnson

Where do you think that faggy song “El Shaddai” comes from?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:44 pm155uppity cracka

i’m still waiting for more evidence, josh. not because i don’t want to issue a death verdict, because i do, i really, really do, but because i love laughing at the fagginess of others.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:44 pm156Josh

PLUG not pulg!!!! Him DAMN IT!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:46 pm157uppity cracka

brad, you could at least play along.

pretend we just insulted your religion or something.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:46 pm158Brad

Can I get all angry about being a fag?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:48 pm159anne johnson

I’m renewing my offer of a bj for anyone who can show me how to reach Brad’s faggy blog from this thread. Except no bj for you, Brad. I know where that thing has been.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:49 pm160Josh

More Brad

As I stated above, I’m kind of an art dork so a great deal of my time is spent being as creative as I possibly can. Unfortunately, this does not include any musical talent that I have yet been able to discover, but I do enjoy drawing, writing, photography and digital art. I also enjoy making goofy short films with my California buddies Jeff and Brian.

I am sure you do love making movies with your “California buddies” Jeff Rockhard and Brian Indasphincter.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:49 pm161Josh

http://www.bradsmoley.com/about.html
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:49 pm162Josh

Anne,
That’s two BJs you owe me!!!!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:50 pm163Brad

Me TOO! I wouldn’t ask you to do that, honey! Toot too the gay train is leaving the station. ALL ABOARD you freaks!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:50 pm164Josh

More Brad

At any rate I’m constantly doodling

FAG!!!!!!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:52 pm165Josh

If only I could post Brad’s headshots here, all doubt of his super gaylord focker ways would be removes. All I can say is turtle neck aka the uncircumcised shirt.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:53 pm166The Unpleasantest Jew

anne, that song obviously comes from krypton.

josh, you seem to be an authority on fagtronics. did you get this from personal experience?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:54 pm167Josh

No Jew I read you book
on 05 Mar 2009 at 9:57 pm168Josh

hey guys, Check out MY book here:

http://www.amazon.com/Wrestling-God-Men-Homosexuality-Tradition/dp/0299190943
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:04 pm169Brad

“You’ll see a lot of things in your life; most either piss you off or you laugh at them. I’m trying to do both at the same time.”

FAG
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:04 pm170uppity cracka

that pretty well seals your fate, brad.

we, the crackas (me) of the jury, find the defendant, big gay brad (super! thanks for asking!) GUILTY of the crime of FAGGOTRY in the 1st degree and do hereby sentence him to be beheaded by cracka’s blessed machete just as soon as cracka gets back from smiting the shit out of richard dawkins.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:06 pm171uppity cracka

wait a minute.

how did big gay brad know where to find josh’s blog?

who are you, brad? are you some kind of lurker? which alterego are you? we have ways of making you talk!!!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:06 pm172Brad

So I have to WAIT to be beheaded? What kinda Micky Mouse operation are you people running around here?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:08 pm173Brad

I know people who know God. You know, in the actual real world place that isn’t the internet.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:08 pm174uppity cracka

well, i’m busy right now chasing dawkins around trying to claim his head for God…it’s a whole big story.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:09 pm175uppity cracka

no, brad, i don’t know. where is this place…and who are these people?
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:12 pm176Josh

yes, brad getting pissed off and laughing is gay; as long as you do it while playing dance dance revolution and drinking miller lite!!!!

FAG!!!!

JUST KIDDING, I LOVE THOSE THINGS TOO
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:14 pm177uppity cracka

miller lite has a lot less carbs than regular beer, josh. that’s not gay, it’s just good nutrition.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:16 pm178Josh

didn’t you read God’s blog? Good nutrition is faggy, counting calaries and such,

AND I AM A FAG WHO WATCHES MTV TOO HAR HAR
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:19 pm179uppity cracka

damnit! i had a salad for lunch, then i defended light beer??? what’s happening to me??? who tweased my eyebrows??? what is this???!!!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:19 pm180Ben

HOLY SHIT! I GOT COMMENT OF THE DAY!!! THANKS GOD!!!!!!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:20 pm181Ben

and the first ever!!! I am so humbled… :cry:…and happy…i just don’t know what to say!!
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:21 pm182uppity cracka

tune in tomorrow when the gang tries to get to the bottom of how cracka turned faggy and when you’ll hear cracka say:

“great, now i have to smite myself.”

until then,
shut up, ben.
everyone else….fuck off.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:25 pm183Josh

it is true, God loves the retarded, LIKE ME.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:51 pm184Ben

whatsamatter? jealous??
on 05 Mar 2009 at 11:11 pm185anne johnson

Jealous of you, Ben? Um, no.
on 05 Mar 2009 at 11:59 pm186Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Hey!! I think Brad changed his About Me page, now it just goes back to that faggy comic.

God,

Fag-Brad says he knows You in real life. Is that true?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:03 am187anne johnson

God, do you live in Baltimore? If so, do you like crabs?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:11 am188Nun Ur Damned Bizness

WTF!! The comics on cornerkicked.com have a couple of familiar names leaving comments.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:17 am189Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Hey!! I need to talk to those guys… my burro and I have been wanting to do something like that for awhile but we didn’t think we could draw very well. Well, we draw as well as those guys!!

BURRO!! Check out their comics and animations!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:36 am190anne johnson

Your burro is a fine artist, Nun. You should see what he did on the snow in my backyard on Monday.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:37 am191anne johnson

Ah, it’s that happy hour of the day when I must begin to nag Teenzilla about her homework.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:37 am192anne johnson

If marginally tasteful displays of tit were graded, Teenzilla would be on the honor roll.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:39 am193anne johnson

“I hate you. Now give me twenty dollars and drive me to the mall.”
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:40 am194anne johnson

A couple of days ago she told me to suck Hitler’s cock. I’m not sure that’s possible. Didn’t his cock burn up in the bunker?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:41 am195anne johnson

Bridgette, how old are your children? Any of them fifteen yet? Wanna swap?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:41 am196anne johnson

Higher and higher Anne moves on the disciple chart.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:43 am197anne johnson

At least I don’t write bad haiku.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:44 am198anne johnson

Or say something nebulous like “fuck it,” and not identify the “it.”
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:46 am199anne johnson

So let’s be very, very clear. Fuck a handsome, well-hung straight man of any race. Only qualifications for Anne: He must be over 25 and handy with computers.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:47 am200anne johnson

You’ve been a great audience. Clap if you believe I GOT A QUICKENING!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:48 am201Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Sometimes you give me the heebie-jeebies, Anne.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:33 am202Curtis

This is my point, you all:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrJrw5ZZfRU
on 06 Mar 2009 at 1:48 pm203Ben

that’s so gay!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:04 pm204Yo Yo Ma Ma

Anne, I’m over 25 and handy with computers, 2 out of 4 ain’t bad!

Curtis, glad to see you again. Wish I could help.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:27 pm205Bloodvork

If ANYONE’S point is some lame PSA featuring half-hearted celebrities proclaiming a stance that they themselves have broken countless times, you’re already losing the battle.

Also, that video was incredibly gay.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:37 pm206Josh

Wanda Sykes did a PSA! Love her, she’s so gay!

I never met her, but I’ve seen her in concert so many times. Hilairous!

Now this is classic Sykes! “I’m a lady you greasy bastard!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpZtL6rCeGY
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:38 pm207uppity cracka

curtis,
we love the gays.
even if they are fags.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:39 pm208Yo Yo Ma Ma

Wait, I thought we were using ‘fag’.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:39 pm209uppity cracka

bridgette is the enemy!! a chatroom divided cannot stand!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:47 pm210The Unpleasantest Jew

dont forget guys. brad has sucked god’s cock in the real world
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:50 pm211The Unpleasantest Jew

don’t forget guys. ~~god~~ I like long objects in ~~his~~ my butthole.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:51 pm212Yo Yo Ma Ma

Jew, are you asking for a smiting?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:55 pm213Yo Yo Ma Ma

LOL!

Go God!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:58 pm214Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Don’t forget, Jew, fags are prone to faggotronics and drama queenie behavior. Fag-Brad also said he wasn’t bothered by what people were saying about his “about me” page yet that page is now gone and routes to the comic with the word “suckers” flashing on the screen. That leads me to believe that he was more bothered by it then he let on.

He also claimed to know God in real life in response to a question as to how he got Josh’s website addy. If you look at cornerkicked.com, you’ll see that God has posted over there and Fag-Brad wanted Him to plug the site here. I don’t think Fag-Brad actually knows God in real life off the internet, I think he only knows Him from that other website which is still on the internet and is not real life… I think Fag-Brad really likes his faggotronics and being a drama-queen.

Bloodvork does know Fag-Brad, Ziggy and Chris. It looks like that might actually be in real life.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:59 pm215Yo Yo Ma Ma

http://www.fuckyeahneilpatrickharris.com/
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:00 pm216Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I agree with Josh. Wanda Sykes is the shit. Shiiiit.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:32 pm217Brad

I think I’m blocked, but in case I’m not…

I never said I knew God in real life. I said I knew people who knew God. Which is true. Which is true for everyone. Have a little FAITH, Christ. Also, I don’t care if you see my 5 1/2 year old lame-ass profile on my website. But since you were all going to go there, I used it as an opportunity to drive traffic to my webcomic. A dick move, I admit, but I love me some dick, so I couldn’t resist. Why WOULDN’T I want to do that? Because it’s douchey, no… FAGGY!? I think we’ve established that that’s gonna be my M.O. around here, so why fight it?

I really like God’s blog and despite what you might think, I was having a lot of fun with your ribbing. So, by all means, “Fag-Brad” it is. I just hope God can find it in his heart to forgive me. I REPENT, GOD! PLEASE DO NOT FORSAKE ME!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:33 pm218The Unpleasantest Jew

dear denizens of stuff god hates,

let me tell you about the world of backgammon. you see, before god got into the world creation business, he was making his living on the backgammon circuit. going from town to town taking on all challengers.

then one time brad came along. he was the bad boy of backgammon. people didn’t think god could take him. sure, god was good enough to hit up a local watering hole and hustle a couple hundred bucks, but the big leagues? the pro-championships? well that was brad’s territory.

in a true underdog story, god made his way all the way to the finals. rolling dice like he never has before. moving pieces from triangle to triangle.

it’s no surprise that it was brad he met up in the finals. unfortunately, this being REAL LIFE and not a disney movie, the more experience backgammoner brad was able to take the title.

it was this defeat that caused god to give up the backgammon life, and he spent the next week creating the world we know today.

so let’s all thank brad, fag as he may be, for his real life victory over god. otherwise this blog - and this world - may not be here today.

sincerely,

Unpleas
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:42 pm219Brad

THANK THE HEAVENLY MASTER, HE ALLOWED MY POST TO GO THROUGH!

Also, here’s my gay-ass profile on the way-back machine. I can’t delete it. Enjoy:

http://web.archive.org/web/20050212044445/bradsmoley.com/about.html
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:46 pm220Ben

hahaha, great post Jew.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:47 pm221Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Good luck, Fag-Brad… God’s a cranky mo-fo and I believe He holds Divine Grudges. Him, I love that Big Divine Cranky Lug.

Best line from that comic…
‘frak, frak, frak, frak, frak, frak, frak!’
‘Have you been watching Battlesux Galacticock?’
‘NO! I’m a retarded duck.’
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:50 pm222Josh

BRad you took down the pictures of you in a turtle neck!!!! Tha gayest of them all.

Seriously, nice way to play along with the joke. You’re a good sport Fag-Brad, unlike that retard Ben who thinks everyone here is serious.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:51 pm223Ben

but you ARE SERIOUS!! you guys all hate me and think i’m dumb, probably because i am.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:52 pm224Ben

wait a minute….your’e not serious?? you guys actually don’t hate me?? oh joy! oh rapture!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:53 pm225Josh

Nun,
Did you see Jon Stewart on Letterman? He’s a comic beast.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:53 pm226The Unpleasantest Jew

i hate ben. that’s true.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:54 pm227Yo Yo ma Ma

I think Brad is Josh’s Bizzaro World counterpart. Both gave up on engineering to pursue art. Josh is a comic and a retard, Brad likes the randomly retarded kind of humor. Josh loves Wanda Sykes, Brad likes “A Fish Called Wanda”.

It’s like they are twin sons of different mothers.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:54 pm228Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I think I’m angry with you, Fag-Brad. I love God with the white-hot intensity of numerous suns, not in a Divine Ass-kissing sort of way but in a heart-expanding, big-hugging kind of way. He makes my heart full of love for Him.

If He has been blocking your posts then you have made Him feel less than comfortable and I’m full of ire at you for that, Fag-Brad. I hate you, Fag-Brad, I hate you with the white hot intensity of three suns. I’d hate you with more intensity but you’re a fag and bad or not, I love me some fags.

In short, Fag-Brad, please do not make my Heavenly Father feel anything but love for you or else I’ll have to bash your fag-face in with a baseball bat. And I do own a baseball bat, so please don’t foolishly think that’s an idle threat.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:55 pm229Josh

I think the term your looking for Yo is “Brother from another mother” it’s more sing song like and Brad likes the show tunes.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:57 pm230Ben

chill out, whore.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:57 pm231Ben

excuse me, i meant to say *cunt.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:58 pm232Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Josh,

DAMN IT!! NO!! I didn’t even know he was on Letterman. I love me some Stewart and I love me some Letterman. I could have a wicked threesome in my head!

Seriously, man… I will totally come to NY and meet you if you could introduce me to Stewart. And I don’t meet anybody from the internet. Many people have tried and many people have failed.

I was joking yesterday about God giving me addresses of Anderson, Depp and Jackson but if He wants to pass on Stewart’s address, I’d be so totally cool with that.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:58 pm233Yo Yo ma Ma

Yes, that’s better Josh, thanks!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 3:58 pm234Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Piss off, Ben unless you can actually be funny.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:00 pm235Ben

I’m tired of Nun smoking joint. I want horny Nun back.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:03 pm236Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I’m not schizo like you, I don’t feel the need to change my pic every odd day.

Besides, God made that picture for me, I’m not being ungrateful with God.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:03 pm237Yo Yo ma Ma

Fugging user just called up with a problem with her telephone. It’s been broken for a week! I told her the ‘phone contractor would be here next Tuesday, she bitched it wasn’t soon enough. Dumbass.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:04 pm238Ben

that’s so gay!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:05 pm239uppity cracka

some of these posts are too long. if i get 30 posts behind and have to spend 5 minutes reading to catch up and don’t laugh ONE SINGLE TIME, well, that’s when i get angry. and then i start to say mean things. and then nun yells at me.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:06 pm240Yo Yo ma Ma

Maybe we should move to Twitter (What a gay name!).
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:09 pm241Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Don’t get angry with us cuz you can’t read too good, you fucking idiot.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:11 pm242Yo Yo Ma Ma

Cracka, stop wasting time at work and stick to the Internets. Hit the refresh button often.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:16 pm243Ben

I guess we have to try harder to be funny then. Let’s not forget God is handing out comment of the day awards now. I don’t know about you, but I feel pressure now to not be so stupid all the time.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:21 pm244Josh

For you Nun,

http://gawker.com/5165350/jon-stewart-slams-cnbc-again-on-letterman
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:21 pm245Yo Yo Ma Ma

Ben, God could also hand out Stupid Comment of Day Awards…
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:22 pm246The Unpleasantest Jew

dear denizens of stuff god hates,

years later, brad and god came across each other once more. they had both moved on. backgammon was no longer a part of either of their lives. god had a new life as creator, brad owned a chain of bath houses.

they laughed, talked about old times. even broke out the old ‘gammon board for old times sake.

brad asked for forgiveness for his youthful bad boy ways. god assured him that time heals all wounds, and all transgressions against him were forgotten.

when they left each other’s company that day a new friendship was forged. and a new common ground was found.

what common ground was this? you see, god and brad agreed that no matter what rivalries exist, whether it be due to borders, religion or backgammon, all the creatures of the universe can agree on one simple thing…

josh is a fag.

sincerely,

Unpleas
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:22 pm247uppity cracka

i’m sure he will, yoyo.

jon stewart is pissed. i love it when he gets pissed because his insults are so cutting, mostly because they’re true…
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:25 pm248Ben

i miss cooper. people used to tell him to shutup instead of me.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:26 pm249uppity cracka

shut up.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:29 pm250Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Jon Stewart makes my nether-lips gooey.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:31 pm251The Unpleasantest Jew

nether-lips. eeewww.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:31 pm252Cooper

Hey it’s me Cooper. Tell me to shut up instaed of Ben, he’s so cool and totally not a retard.

Just kidding it’s me Josh!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:32 pm253uppity cracka

you mean goo-IER…
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:33 pm254Josh

God,
Please forgive me for stumbling upon your divine Avatar! Please I beg You.

You very sorry servant,
Josh
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:33 pm255Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Smart is sexy. Jon Stewart is smart and super-sexy.

And God is bored.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:33 pm256uppity cracka

shut up, josh.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:34 pm257The Unpleasantest Jew

oh snap, josh! using god’s avatar? that’s bold!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:34 pm258Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Please don’t tell me Josh is God. How did you do that, Josh?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:34 pm259God

YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:35 pm260Yo Yo Ma Ma

Been nice knowing you, Josh. Move to a cave in Pakistan. You won’t live any longer, but it will feel longer.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:36 pm261God

Why am I bored, Nun?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:38 pm262God

I HAVE SMOTE YOU JOSH! NOW YOUR AVATAR SHALL BE THE SAME AS BEN’S! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:43 pm263Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Because I thought You were impersonating Cooper but it seems Josh was impersonating You.

How did he do that, God??
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:44 pm264Yo Yo Ma Ma

Josh is God? That destroys my religious beliefs.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:46 pm265God

HE USED MY DIVINE EMAIL!! JOSH IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT ME!!! AS PUNISHMENT I HAVE TURNED YOU INTO BEN UNTIL POST 116 JOSH!!!

Also, your child shall grow up to look and act like Ben.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:47 pm266The Unpleasantest Jew

i know someone who looks and acts like ben. his name is ben. he sucks.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:51 pm267uppity cracka

HAHA!!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:52 pm268Josh

I’m not God, I’m merely a retard who likes to make myself seem bigger and better than I am. I also have a very small penis. I used to have a big penis because I stole a black man’s penis but God took it back for impersonating Him. I’m evil-bad and should be punished accordingly.

God,

Please take my ballsac.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:53 pm269Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Josh sure is bad. I hope God does take his ballsac.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:55 pm270God

Ok, agreed. I have taken your ballsac Josh. And now you are forgiven for your error in judgment. BUT DON’T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN!!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:56 pm271uppity cracka

yoyo, i hope your crisis of faith is over. remember the last time you had a crisis? the toupee, the convertible, the pointing and snapping and calling everyone “sport”. it was awful.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:57 pm272uppity cracka

i hope you weren’t hoping for mini-josh to have any siblings. you could always adopt a ching chong chinababy!!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:58 pm273God

Cracka, I left Josh his nuts, they are just now hanging exposed to the world without a ballsac to hold them in. He is going to have to use saran wrap from now on.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 4:58 pm274Josh

Thank you Lord!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:01 pm275Josh

#268 Josh,
I don’t even remember typing that, I guess I was filled with the holy spirit!!!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:04 pm276Nun Ur Damned Bizness

HAHAHA!! Thank You, God for making me laugh so hard my belly hurts.

Way to go, ching-chong-retard! I think one of your nuts just rolled down the sidewalk.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:15 pm277Josh

not funny Nun,
I just came back from Sam’s club with a 1,000 roll of saran wrap. Him, this hurts.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:19 pm278uppity cracka

josh, try using a crown royal bag. it’s velvety smooth and pimpin’ royal purple…plus it comes with booze.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:21 pm279Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Well, that’s what you get for impersonating our Glorious God, silly ching-chong.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:32 pm280uppity cracka

have you ever tried to trim your nut pubes? well, lemme tell ya, razor-burnt scrotum is not comfortable. i can only imagine scrotumless scrotum.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:35 pm281Yo Yo Ma Ma

Shut up, Josh.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:36 pm282Yo Yo Ma Ma

Cracka, damn, I’d forgotten about that. I’ve almost paid off the convertible, and the court order has been lifted. Damned hair transplants didn’t take, either.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:42 pm283Yo Yo Ma Ma

“have you ever tried to trim your nut pubes? ”

Try Go-Nads Just slather the cream onto your sac, press on the strips wait until it dries, then riiiiiip!

Remember the Four Steps: Remove, sooth, clean, and scream.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:47 pm284uppity cracka

was this part of your crisis?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:48 pm285Yo Yo Ma Ma

Go-Nads? Naw, I’m regional dealer for the stuff.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:48 pm286Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I am most disturbed to not see the Seahawks on this list. Ruskell better use some fucking sense, if they can’t handle D-Jack then they most assuredly cannot handle Owens.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/The-teams-that-don-t-want-Terrell-Owens?urn=nfl,146116
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:48 pm287Yo Yo Ma Ma

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGaFCHwzBXQ
on 06 Mar 2009 at 5:59 pm288Nun Ur Damned Bizness

YES!! Many thanks to the kicked to the corner fags for having this on their website.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Pqc878-jRQ
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:09 pm289Brad

You’re welcome. The dude they got playing Kirk is a friggin’ DREAMBOAT. I’d like to than God for him! Hey-o.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:14 pm290Nun Ur Damned Bizness

OLD SPOCK!! There’s another trailer with Nimoy. Worth the price of the ticket just to see Nimoy say “live long and prosper”!!

I’m not a big Trekkie so I wouldn’t know but this information about Kirk’s father… is that new or did Trekkies already know that he was a Starfleet captain too?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:22 pm291Yo Yo Ma Ma

Nun, I don’t remember any mention of Kirk’s father in the original series.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:25 pm292Yo Yo Ma Ma

No mention here: http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/James_T._Kirk#Early_History
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:32 pm293Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Thanks, Yo. I don’t recall ever hearing anything like that but like I said, I’m not really a Trekkie. I enjoy the films but never really cared for the Trek television productions.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:39 pm294Yo Yo Ma Ma

Glad to help! I liked the TV shows, but agree ST is better on the big screen.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:41 pm295The Unpleasantest Jew

i finally got a gravatar! yay!!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:43 pm296uppity cracka

does this mean you’ll be more pleasant now?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:44 pm297uppity cracka

because ben is tired of all the yelling.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:44 pm298The Unpleasantest Jew

NO! but i might be more jewey.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:45 pm299uppity cracka

he told me.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:45 pm300uppity cracka

ONE!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:45 pm301Brad

I just noticed the Wanda Sykes thing. Here’s the deal: when you say something is “gay” in a derogatory fashion, I argue that it doesn’t have anything to do at all with homosexual people. It can, if they’re being fucking GAY, but I see it as like saying something that is good is “bad”. Yo, that shit is BAD! You mean it’s good. “Gay” used to have a positive connotation as in “cheerful, happy, or bright”. Now, when something is dim, stupid or ridiculous, we call it “gay”. In short, hey gays… get over yourselves. Stop being gay.

FAG-BRAD OUT!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:46 pm302uppity cracka

that’s how many there can be!!!

i’ll settle for more jewiness.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:46 pm303Yo Yo Ma Ma

Darnit Cracka, Josh needed a quickening to regrow his ballsac.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:48 pm304The Unpleasantest Jew

SHALOM!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:51 pm305Josh

Brad,
I get it, about using the word gay to say something is shitty. It implies that gays themselves are inherently shitty. your comment is so Brad.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 6:51 pm306The Unpleasantest Jew

gays are shitty.

need proof? just look at josh.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:00 pm307uppity cracka

need proof? just look at their penises…is that poop on your dick, sir? why, yes. yes it is.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:01 pm308Josh

stop being such a jew Jew.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:01 pm309uppity cracka

we should have teamed up earlier, jew. nobody can stop this arsenal of sophomoric insults!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:03 pm310uppity cracka

josh was walking around with a boner in his house naked one night. walked right into the wall and broke his nose. ching chong penis smite!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:05 pm311Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Fag-Brad spelled Jon-Benet Ramsey’s name wrong. What a fucking fag!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:08 pm312Josh

cracka,
as we all know you are the one on this blog with a small dick, do not try to pass off your personal experiences as jokes.

BTW - How’s your nose?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:08 pm313The Unpleasantest Jew

nun likes to talk all slutty, but i bet she’s fatter than bridgette and hasn’t seen a cock in a decade.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:10 pm314The Unpleasantest Jew

hey cracka, nice use of the word boner.

boner. heh.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:15 pm315Ben

FACE FACE FACE FACE FFFFF-FFACE!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:16 pm316Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I. AM. NOT. FAT!! Damn you, Jew! DAMN YOU!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:18 pm317The Unpleasantest Jew

that’s just what a fatty would say.

SHALOM!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:20 pm318Ben

THAT’S EXACTLYY WHAT BRIDGETTE SAYS!!!

maybe NUN is Bridgette!

holy shit brain melt!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:21 pm319The Unpleasantest Jew

nun’s not bridgette. nun’s just fat.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:23 pm320Brad

Well fuck a fag. Look at that. It IS spelled wrong. I’m firing my publisher.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:26 pm321Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I would do the world a favor and kill myself if I was Bridgette except I’d be too fat to accomplish such a thing.

It’s spelled wrong but I’m more curious as to why you think it’s funny, fag-Brad?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:26 pm322uppity cracka

you’re firing yourself?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:27 pm323uppity cracka

thanks, jew. i try to use “boner” at least once a day…

(i’ll leave that statement open-ened for you, nun)
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:28 pm324Ben

is it funny or is it just true?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:29 pm325Brad

Within context it was kinda funny. Outside of context it’s REALLY funny. The Pope ain’t got nothin’ on the G.O.D.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:29 pm326uppity cracka

let’s start a chain sentence!
i’ll go first:

nun’s vagina is so sloppy that…
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:32 pm327Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I have a pretty sick and twisted sense of humor and I don’t find that funny. I just find it stupid.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:33 pm328The Unpleasantest Jew

that’s cuz you’re fat and awful

Fatawful Ur Damned Bizness
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:36 pm329Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Better than being a Jew.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:38 pm330Yo Yo Ma Ma

nun’s vagina is so sloppy that…
When you stand at the entrance and light a match…
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:39 pm331The Unpleasantest Jew

being a jew ain’t great, but being fat is just the worst.

and when you’re awful on top of that… UGH.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:40 pm332The Unpleasantest Jew

nun’s vagina is so sloppy that…
when you stand at the entrace and light a match…
you suddenly realize what a fat awful slob it’s attached too…
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:41 pm333Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I feel sorry for you then. Unpleasant, Jewish, fat and awful. You poor fat thing.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:42 pm334The Unpleasantest Jew

don’t try to project your fatness on to me, Fatty McFatterson
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:44 pm335Ben

is this a gang-bang? it’s a gang-bang.

GANG-BANG EVERYBODY! GANG-BANG!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:44 pm336The Unpleasantest Jew

shut up, ben.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:46 pm337Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I’m not the one who was projecting in the first place. I was just going along with your projecting because I feel sorry for your fat ass. I saw you break that picnic bench and I saw all those cruel people pointing at you and laughing because you’re fatter than Fat Bastard. You poor fatty-fat.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:47 pm338Yo Yo Ma Ma

Ben. Dover.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:48 pm339Josh

#331 - The Unpleasantest Jew
being a jew ain’t great, but being fat is just the worst.

Nun can always diet, you’ll always have a hook nose, steal money and never know the divine taste of a cheeseburger.

speaking of, did anyone notice the bad Jew sterotypes on that kicked corner thing? Jew Coma?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:49 pm340The Unpleasantest Jew

come on, nun. we all know that you’re so fat, sloppy and lonely that you saw this blog as an opportunity to create an over-sexed slutty persona so you can live out your stupid fantasies.

fat.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:49 pm341Brad

Trance. Jew TRANCE.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:51 pm342The Unpleasantest Jew

i catch a lot of fish with that hook nose.

and jew trances are a real thing. be careful you don’t encounter one. it can be dangerous.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:55 pm343Josh

wow you learn something new every day.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:55 pm344uppity cracka

e-violence!!!

DIE HERETICS!!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:56 pm345Nun Ur Damned Bizness

The only kind of person that would say sexual fantasies are “stupid” is somebody who doesn’t get sex. You can keep projecting but you’re only calling yourself out. Poor fatty can’t even find his weiner.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 7:59 pm346The Unpleasantest Jew

i didn’t say sexual fantasies are stupid. i said your fantasies are stupid.

you’re also fat. in case you were wondering.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:01 pm347Nun Ur Damned Bizness

My boobs are fat I suppose if you want to look at it that way. They’re mammoth titties that have suffocated many a man.

Go ahead and backtrack, Jew. I’m sorry you can’t find your weiner.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:02 pm348Bei Shen

How fat, Nun? Can you wrap them around my head?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:04 pm349Brad

I bet *I* can find his weiner… haaaAAAAAaaay!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:06 pm350Ben

that’s so gay!!!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:07 pm351The Unpleasantest Jew

of course you have fat tits. all fatties have fat tits. just be true to who you are and admit that the rest of you is also fat and your vagina dry and unused.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:11 pm352Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Which head, Bei?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:11 pm353uppity cracka

OOOOOOOOOOOH
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:12 pm354Josh

Jew,
All fatties have big tits? No true. I am saddened to my heart when I see a big fat girl with tiny tits. God had to have come down and done that smite personally
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:12 pm355Ben

too true
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:15 pm356Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Josh,

Jew has made it very apparent that he’s never been with a real woman and that’s why he thinks all fatties have big tits. The poor man is a fat bastard who can’t find his own penis and he’s projecting. Let him do that if it will help him with his self-esteem. In the end, he’ll realize the only person who shares his saggy mattress is the blow-up doll he popped.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:15 pm357Brad

I fixed my av. Fewer misspellings, more FAG.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:16 pm358Bei Shen

Does it matter, Nun?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:19 pm359Anonymous

you’re so dreamy Brad. you look like that guy from Entourage.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:19 pm360Nun Ur Damned Bizness

It would actually, Bei, unless you’re a pinhead. I’m afraid my titties are not that mammoth.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:22 pm361Bloodvork

His ziggy mattress?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:24 pm362The Unpleasantest Jew

i don’t come on here and pretend to be some crazy sexed up slutty whore to make up for my lack of human contact in the real world.

i just come on here and pretend to be jewish to make up for my lack of jewish contact in the real world.

and i call josh a fag cuz i secretly love him.

but as far as the lonely fatties go, that’s your gimmick.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:25 pm363Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Okay, Bloodvork has dropped enough hints about Dave/Ziggy. Ben has indicated before that he worked in the same office as the Unpleasant Jew.

Ben,

Is that the Unpleasant Jew that you worked with or the Unpleasantest Jew?

I’m curious how many of you guys know each other in real life. Okay.. scratch that, I’m not curious, I’m just fucking nosy.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:28 pm364Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Unfortunately, you don’t come on here to be funny either.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:31 pm365uppity cracka

don’t forget, nun, the jew is the author of such classics as “shut up, cooper” and “josh is a fag” and “FACE!”

you are the author of such non-classics as
“i’d so totally fuck him” and “i’d fuck him so totally” and “totally is the manner in which i would fuck him”
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:32 pm366uppity cracka

i don’t know any of these people in real life…except for that time i stalked and murdered josh. i know everything about him.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:32 pm367Anonymous

you go to hell and you die bitch!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:33 pm368Josh

historical divine blog FACE!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:33 pm369Josh

I don’t know anyone either, I just talked to a few people via email, you know faggy like.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:36 pm370The Unpleasanter Jew

the unpleasant jew IS the unpleasantest jew, you dumb slob. the name just changes with my level of unpleasantness.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:37 pm371Brad

Why did we stop talking about boners? More boners! MORE BONERS!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:39 pm372uppity cracka

josh-368
thanks for the declaration. and i agree with your blog posting that any man who beats a woman like that deserves to be hospitalized via pillowcase/doorknobs. by the way, they aren’t door nobs…and by the way, finally and finale are two different words. sheeeee-at.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:39 pm373The Unpleasanter Jew

but you answer your nosy question, yes i, the unpleasant jew, am ziggy, author of http://www.secretjew.com , star of http://www.cornerkicked.com , and coworker of ben.

you can see why i’m so unpleasant, having that dumb fuck 10 feet from me all day.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:39 pm374Nun Ur Damned Bizness

You forgot “I. AM. NOT. A. WHORE!! “, Cracka. That line is classic, memorable and incredibly intelligent. I’m blown away by my wit everytime I type it.

And sadly for Josh and Cracka, neither one of them are likeable in real life so I wasn’t referring to either of them. I’m specifically wondering about Ben and Jew and Bloodvork. Bloodvork knows Jew aka Ziggy aka Dave, and fag-Brad. I’m wondering if he’s been exposed to Ben in real life as well. I feel bad for Bloodvork.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:40 pm375uppity cracka

that and being stuck in iowa.

fuck.

how do you get through a day?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:40 pm376Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Ahh… never mind, fat bastard answered my question. Thanks, Fatty.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:42 pm377Ben

lol. i feel bad for bloodvork too.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:43 pm378The Unpleasanter Jew

i don’t feel bad for bloodvork. he’s a fag.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:45 pm379Ben

haha, I like that you’re now the ‘Unpleasanter Jew.’ it’s nice to see you getting nicer.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:45 pm380uppity cracka

that’s true, you do have that line, which is second only to “whore!”.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:45 pm381Bloodvork

I think the jew has been trying to hit on me for the longest time.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:46 pm382Nun Ur Damned Bizness

I feel bad for you too, Ben. No wonder you’re so dumb considering you have to work with a fat cock-sucking Jew who sucks the intelligence from your brain all day. You should help him lift up his belly so he can find his weiner. That’s what a real friend would do and maybe he’d be a little more pleasant after that. It’s worth a shot anyway.

You poor bastards!! Each and every one of you. That’s me shedding a tear for y’all.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:47 pm383The Unpleasanter Jew

and it worked.

bloodvork game me a blowjob in the supply closet.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:47 pm384Yo Yo Ma Ma

Bloodvork, I bet he thinks about you naked.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:47 pm385Nun Ur Damned Bizness

He’s fascinated by your schlong like snout, Bloodvork. You should be careful.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:48 pm386Ben

thanks Nun, that was hilarious
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:50 pm387The Unpleasanter Jew

the poor bastard is uppity cracka. a funny guy like that stuck here all day with fatties and fags like nun and josh.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:50 pm388Nun Ur Damned Bizness

OMG!! Ben recognized a joke. Who gave Ben his brain???
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:50 pm389Brad

The only thing faggier than bloodvork is Smash Brothers.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:50 pm390Bloodvork

It was my first time gaming someone a blow job. I never knew it meant “listen to a Jew try to convince you that it would be fun to watch him beat off in a closet.”

I don’t want to do it again.

And it’s snout-like…
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:51 pm391uppity cracka

you people make me sick.

no, wait, i just need a drink.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:53 pm392Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Smash Brothers is for fags.

Did you lift up his belly so he could find his weiner, Bloodvork?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:54 pm393uppity cracka

don’t feel bad for me, jew. inbetween songs at my PAYING gigs (thank you very much, i know, i’m awesome) i throw a little standup in there. the kids just love it, the stupid fags.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:54 pm394uppity cracka

smash brothers does suck, hence why it’s meant for fags.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:54 pm395Bloodvork

Smash Brothers is faggier than I am.

-89,782,361,234,681,347,272 is a greater number than -89,782,361,234,681,347,275.

But the only thing shorter than Brad is nothing.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:55 pm396Ben

MAN, only a couple more hours left today here at the dick-sucking factory. FRIIIII-DAAAAAAY!!!

PAAANTTYYY-PARRRTYYY!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:55 pm397uppity cracka

you fuck your uncle all day long.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:56 pm398uppity cracka

again, i ask you, what commercial purpose does the dick sucking factory serve??? no wonder why this economy is so fucked!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:56 pm399Yo Yo Ma Ma

Bloodvork, was the Mop Closet Fairy in there with you?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:56 pm400Ben

now’s your chance to get a little nutsack back Josh
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:56 pm401uppity cracka

there can be only one!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:57 pm402Yo Yo Ma Ma

Uh-oh, Ben stole the quickening!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:57 pm403uppity cracka

damn you, ben. damn you to iowa.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:57 pm404Ben

But too late! I have two nutsacks now and you can’t have my extra one. It’s going in a box in my garage in case I ever need it.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:57 pm405Yo Yo Ma Ma

Sorry, Cracka, please play again.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 8:58 pm406uppity cracka

shut up, ben.

the rest of you…fuck off!!!!

i, for one, do not have to tolerate this sobriety any longer!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 9:01 pm407Yo Yo Ma Ma

Cracka, we left you a consolation prize of a bottle of booze. It’s in a brown paper bag under the mailbox near the police station on South Fifth Street.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 9:03 pm408Bloodvork

I left a consolation of my urine in that bottle.

…..

You do not speak poorly of Smash Brothers…
on 06 Mar 2009 at 9:12 pm409The Unpleasanter Jew

smash brothers is for fags. i’m sure josh loves it.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 9:18 pm410Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Josh isn’t a fag, he’s just retarded.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 9:19 pm411Bloodvork

Is that why you continue to play it despite your constant and inane ramblings of why the game isn’t fun as a direct result of your gaming ineptitude?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 9:19 pm412Yo Yo Ma Ma

I just dropped off another bottle, it’s propped against the stop sign at the corner of James Ave. N and 26th Ave. N.

Good luck.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 9:48 pm413God

I have declared this comment as Divine. Not the best groveling I’ve ever seen, but not bad.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 9:59 pm414Josh

Yes!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 10:02 pm415Josh

So far God has given His divine approval to comments made by groveling losers. Well at least we know what He likes.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 10:03 pm416Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Whoever wrote that comment was exceedingly clever. Josh is not clever.

God,

Please smite the fucking hospital that botched up my surgery and then just garnished my wages! MOTHER FUCKERS!!! :x
on 06 Mar 2009 at 10:03 pm417Nun Ur Damned Bizness

FUCK!!
on 06 Mar 2009 at 10:25 pm418Josh

botched our sugery? did you used to be a man?
on 06 Mar 2009 at 10:50 pm419Nun Ur Damned Bizness

It only stands to reason that if they botched a sex-change operation from a man to a woman, I’d still be a man you fucking retard.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 11:19 pm420Josh

or a Jammie lee Curtis.

as an engineer in a class on lasers they talk about how a kid got his dick cut off in a botched surgery. didn’t make him a woman, just a dickless loser named Ben.
on 06 Mar 2009 at 11:58 pm421anne johnson

God had a botched surgery that left Him with anger management problems. Maybe Cousin Zeus shouldn’t have been the surgeon.
on 07 Mar 2009 at 2:06 am422Bei Shen

Nun: we don’t know for sure until we try. What do you say? Your place? 7:30? I’ll shampoo my head.
on 07 Mar 2009 at 2:43 am423anne johnson

Bei, while you’re shampooing your head, examine it. Nun’s had a setback. If you ain’t Depp, stay home.
on 07 Mar 2009 at 4:05 am424Lyds

So, God…

I guess you’re NOT a fan of the band Butthole Surfers?
on 07 Mar 2009 at 4:07 am425Lyds

Also, God, do you hate British cigarettes?
on 07 Mar 2009 at 4:10 am426Ben

God answered that in the few first comments. He said he loves cigarettes! Ya gotta read Lyds, ya gotta read.
on 07 Mar 2009 at 4:13 am427Lyds

Dear God,

I have sinned and I repent.

You already said that cigarettes are ok (Your word be praised)!

Forgive me my ignorance of Your word!

Amen.
on 07 Mar 2009 at 4:14 am428Lyds

Sorry Ben!
on 07 Mar 2009 at 4:17 am429Lyds

plus, Ben, there are over 400 comments. So maybe I should quote the cool kids and say…

shut up Ben!
on 07 Mar 2009 at 4:18 am430Lyds

still want to know about Butthole Surfers, though…
on 07 Mar 2009 at 4:50 pm431anne johnson

I would like to know this too, God. My older daughter, The Perfect One, loves the Butthole Surfers. Also she likes Negativland. Their last project was “Christianity is Stupid.”
on 07 Mar 2009 at 8:04 pm432Nun Ur Damned Bizness

Hey!! What’s wrong with Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh?? I like her. Point taken about Ben though… it was not a sex-change surgery that was botched.

Bei,

Unfortunately, Anne is right. I have suffered a severe setback but I’m always down for a little head between my titties. Just don’t expect me to touch your Asian weiner because I don’t want your Asian disease… it’ll make my titties shrink.

And please bring Johnny Depp with you. He’s hot and you can watch me soooo totally fuck him.
on 08 Mar 2009 at 6:15 pm433anne johnson

I caught a little bit of “High Plains Drifter” the other night on the telly. I know he’s a first-class prick in person, but Clint Eastwood was such a friggin hottie in his day. There can be only one, and it’s CLINT.
on 08 Mar 2009 at 6:16 pm434anne johnson

Worst actor in the world to mention in a post called “fags.”
on 09 Mar 2009 at 5:36 am435God

Lyds - Love the band, hate the name.
on 22 Apr 2009 at 6:14 pm436Wazup

Where’s Lucifer after all?
on 16 Feb 2010 at 12:24 am437Queer Hater

I can’t stand how fucking faggots are always whining about their freedom of speech to tell the whole world that they like to take it up the ass! Who Fucking cares keep your damn peter puffing afflictions to yourself i dont want to hear how much you enjoy taking it up the ass daily! Queers!!!!
on 16 Feb 2010 at 12:30 am438Queer Hater

Just like some stupid Fag wants to put “I’m Gay” on their license plate… I think we should say no, we don’t put “Im Straight”… Why do the fucking queers need to announce their gay fucking tendencies all the time. I know because they are so fucking insecure they need someone to know how much the like to take it up the ass on a daily basis? I can not believe how much our human race has slipped into the worthless cess pool of queers and political correctness that it has. It makes me sick! Fuck all the Fags they should be lined up and fucking killed one by fucking one you little fucking peter puffers!
on 17 Feb 2010 at 6:50 pm439uppity cracka

dude really hates queers, i guess.