Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Hello My children! I’m feeling positively splendid today thanks to the glorious efforts of My British Christians. As such, I have declared today a smite-free day in London. Why, just look what they have done for Me:
Brave Christians hit back at the atheist bus
YES! Take that! Fucking choke on God’s Fat Cock of Truth you atheist pigs! These magnificent Christian ads state very clearly:
“THERE MOST DEFINITELY IS A GOD. NOW JOIN THE CHRISTIAN PARTY AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE.”
There can be no debate after that. If there wasn’t enough proof already for My Existence, and trust Me, there is, this poster settles it once and for all. No longer shall atheists (who believe in nothing and lust after the taste of sweet baby blood) be allowed to threaten the faith of good Me-fearing folk in England.
In case you weren’t aware, atheist wretches in London have been running blasphemous attacks-ads on buses that say:
“THERE’S PROBABLY NO GOD. NOW STOP WORRYING AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE.”
Probably no God?! These atheist cowards don’t even have the courage of their convictions. Not a problem with My people. ‘Probably,’ as an opinion, will always lose out to the much stronger ‘most definitely.’ Let me illustrate:
Atheists probably listen to lame goth music. Atheists most definitely beat your children when you’re not looking and rub their nipples in dog poo to get horny. See? The second statement is much stronger and is also fact.
Feeble heathens! Your pathetic attempts to unseat The Almighty Lord from His Throne will never succeed. Especially now that I have ads on buses too.
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Fuck that trash on 
Mmmm. Babies….
Dear God, I’m as appalled by this as You are. Which is why I’ve just spent the last month painting:
OF COURSE THERE’S A FUCKING GOD, ATHEIST ARSEHOLES!
on all my ewes (10,000 of them).
And on my ten rams I’ve painted
GOD EXISTS, YOU UNBELIEVING FUCKTARDS! AND HE’S GONNA TORTURE YOUR TITS FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!
I’m with YOU all the way Lord.
Your servant Smoggy
AMEN
God; why is it snowing in Great Britain and Ireland?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090206/wl_uk_afp/britainweather;_ylt=AstZIOTtwGW7Q6xz2y64YMdvaA8F
Josh, why are people in New York so fucked up?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090206/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_newyork_odor
The odour has attracted media attention and hundreds of complaints from city residents.
Complaints about a sweet smell?? What did they want? Aged wino piss? Rat shit?
Yo,
Because I made it snow! Snow doesn’t count as a smite. Most people love it.
Besides, I need at least one way to kill atheists on this smite-free day. Good home-schooled Christian children and families are all home today. It’s the heathens and the scientists freezing on the way to their labs and experimental gas chambers.
Point.
God, regarding the atheistic bus signs, perhaps Your soldier in a truck could ‘take out’ the bus: http://stuffgodhates.com/?p=769
Sorry to point this out to you, Oh Holy One, but heathens are not atheists. Heathenism is a religion. They worship Oden and Thor.
I always say, why be an atheist when there are so many great gods and goddesses to choose from? it’s like not taking the samples at the gourmet grocery store.
You think I give a shit? Heathens, atheists, what’s the difference? They don’t believe in Me either way so they are dead to Me.
And ‘heathenism’ is NOT A RELIGION! It is blasphemous gibberish and I will not stand for such impertinent backtalk on MY BLOG!
Hey God,
What the hell happened to this blog? It used to be pretty funny, now it’s like hard rock gold mining. You have to process TONS of stuff to get a few grams of paydirt.
whoa. you’re about to get bitch slapped by God’s Fat Cock of Truth!!! stupid anonymous pagan.
Time to settle back in my reclining office chair and watch God get Middle Eastern on anonymous’ azz.
G’Day, cracka, how’s yer magazine going? BTW, Nun applied for the 24 hour rectal hygenist position. She said she’d take care of your ass.
Cracka keeps calling me a whore and hurting my poor, non-whore feelings. Even so, I would not touch his smelly cornhole unless God commanded it.
I’ll bet Cracka is like Arabs and doesn’t use toilet paper so you have to take a trek through his dingleberry patch before you even reach the cavernous chamber he calls a rectum. Gross.
Yo YO,
The NYC’er were nervoous because it’s been drilled into our heads that terrorists are around every corner doing very bad things. When anything is out of order we get scared and need to know whats going on.
ON the subways there are tons of ads like “If you see something, say something” with a picture of a box sitting under a seat. Or the add that says “Last year 1,944 pairs of eays saw something and reported it” or the police officers who set up a table and demand to look in your bag thus violating your 4th amendment. NYC is a rough place but mostly because of the government.
application rejected. she thinks ‘hygiene’ means ‘rape’. what kind of school did she attend, anyway? a school for WHORES?!!!
wait a minute. join the christian party? it’s a political movement over there, too? they’re fucked.
Anonymous,
Firstly, you may think you can hide behind your internet but I know who you are you atheist coward. You cannot hide from Me.
Secondly, you must be completely insane. Why would you ever think My Blog is or should be funny?! NONE of My Thoughts or Pain are intended to be humorous. I do not have tolerance for laughter. Let Me repeat:
MY BLOG IS NOT FUNNY!
It is not meant to be. If you find any of My Writings amusing then you are demonic and strange and are destined for hell.
God,
You have created areas on this beautiful Earth of Yours that are not hindered to the point of disability when Your beautiful snow falls. However, there are places where Your lovely snow creates chaos and carnage(I’m sure this is quite amusing for You). There are parts of the Pacific Northwest that fall to their knees when snow falls. How does London react to snow? Is it hobbled by the white stuff on the ground or is it like the bowels of the Earth(Midwestern US) where life goes on as normal?
God,
Please take Your Divine Fat Cock of Truth and shove it up Cracka’s ass for calling me a whore. You know, O Heavenly Father, that I have never been paid to let a man put his dirty and disgusting cock in my pure and noble vagina. I always give it away for free.
there have been a lot of books written, countless books, and philosphers have racked their minds for centuries over this debate. is there a god? what more fitting example of 21st century glibness is there than two groups of people holding this debate on tiny billboards. it’s pretty funny, actually.
kierkegaard is rolling in his grave. i guess i could ask:
God, how is soren kierkegaard handling this?
nun, you ignorant slut, God’s against anal. dumb bitch. now you ask Him to violate His own standards by shoving His Fat Cock of Truth up my ass?!! WHORE of the DEVIL!!!!
♫ Little Nun never once gave it away
Everybody had to pay and pay
A hustle here and a hustle there
New York City’s the place where they said, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
Josh said, Hey Nun
Take a walk on the wild side ♫
and the colored girls go:
don’t call us colored, honky!!
As Fred Sanford once said: “Yeah, she was colored. White!”
God,
Please forgive me for asking You to take Your Divine Fat Cock of Truth and shove it up Cracka’s nasty stankhole. I was not thinking clearly as Cracka keeps calling me a whore and I AM NOT A WHORE!!
I went to my favorite fun-time shop yesterday and bought myself a boxed cock that was shaped to resemble Your Divine Fat Cock of Truth. I will use that to expand Cracka’s point of entry, I hope I don’t fall in.
FACE!
or more accurately,
ANUS!
hey anonymous, you’re dumb. i think God is consistently funny and beyond that He’s a great writer who provides interesting satirical commentary. don’t be a doosh.
DAMN YOU BEN!! I AM NOT FUNNY!
In other news, My economy smite continues to go very well:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/07/business/economy/07jobs.html?em
I won’t rest till American believership in Me reaches 100%.
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Why, God? WHY???
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7873906.stm
Why Nun? because women are stupid.
Women are stupid. Sometimes I really hate my fellow vaginas.
oh yeah and because some gay men want to be stupid women
There has been one time that I have found Sex and the City entertaining but it wasn’t the show. It was when David Duchovny was on the show and his fans inundated SATC forums with talk about how he should be a regular on the show. SATC fans weren’t impressed. It was a train wreck… two crazy fanbases hitting head on and I was highly amused. I was also high which might explain why I was amused.
Sex and the City sucks!
I used to watch sex and the city, the first season when everyone of the cast excpet horse face went topless. It was great, I would think who’s tits will I see this week, the red head, the brunette or the slut?
You’re a fag, Josh.
I watched it thinking it’s a show about lesbians. How disappointed!
There was a chick with a big mole under her mouth. What’s her name again? Jessica something I don’t remember. But definitely no lesbian whatsoever.
Horse-face. You can call her “Horse-face” and everybody will know who you’re talking about.
the wife loves SATC
but her favorite show ever?
X FILES
2nd favorite?
DEXTER
loves
the wire, too.
as a man who has been forced to see every episode of sex and the city, i can honestly say that for about 1 1/2 seasons that show was funny. but, other than that i fuckin’ hate it.
what was it that our favorite family guy, peter griffin, said about sarah jessica parker?
“sarah jessica parker? ugh. she’s got a face like a foot.”
I’m gay because as a teenager I wanted to look at that former hottie Kristin Davis boobs? Then I’m a flaming homo. There is not a boob I would not look at, even if only to say, “Man her boobs where fucking horrible! Flap jack I tell ya, flap jacks”
like cracka said the first season was funny and full of boobs, after that it got real gay, real fast.
Dexter is good, the wire is great.
that’s how i feel, josh.
the wire: maybe the most well-acted well-written show with the most interesting characters (bubs, omar, mcnulty).
dexter: great premise, good acting, but so much suspension of disbelief is required you never forget that it’s make believe.
of course, i was having this debate with a woman who loves sex and the city…
maybe i should divorce that bitch and find myself a smart woman. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
The X-Files was quality entertainment and it should be everybody’s favorite show… except the stupids.
The last show I really enjoy was Night Court. Married With Children was probably the second best.
I’m so jazzed that God is finally getting some “bus time”. I think He needs to do pop ups on the internets now. Everyone knows that pop ups ALWAYS work in advertising.
I’m not even going to tell you all what is for lunch today. It’s too too terrible to mention. I went to Subway.
Nun - yesterday I had a nerve conduction study done. They make you undress, strap you down onto an examination table, place needle / probes into your hands and wrists, give you an electrical shock, and measure the nerve pathway.
I sort of felt like a frog in biology class when we used to make their legs jump with an electric shock. As you know I like it rough. I got a huge erection.
I don’t watch TV anymore, but I really got into Twin Peaks.
David Duchovny dressed like a girl when he was on Twin Peaks and was strangely attractive while doing so. I would sooooo fuck David Duchovny.
My burro says you’re weird, Bei.
I wish somebody would force me to undress, strap me to a table and then probe me. Curtis gets all the fun!!
Dear God,
Just because I rub my nipples in dog poo to get horny and just because I love the sweet taste of baby blood doesn’t mean I beat other people’s kids. Not all atheists are the same you know.
I liked Night Court, too. There’s nothing decent on anymore, which is why I don’t have an antenna on the TV.
Curtis, having neuro problems? I’ve got carpal tunnel, and had to go through the same tests.
Special times, special times.
“They make you undress…”
For hands and wrists?? Are you sure you went to a Neurologist? Sounds more like ‘Mistress Moria’s House of Pain and Sadist Games’!
Or Friday night at Smoggy’s.
I don’t understand the concept of “huge erection”. Does it mean there are times when they are “mediocre erection” and “so-so erection”? He should have said “long erection” then I understand.
Nun won’t I’m sure.
THIS IS ANNE. From now on I will always identify myself. Because I would never say that God’s blog is or isn’t funny. I hope God finds that other Anonymous and smites!
“Married with Children.” Hilarious. Miss it.
Curtis, I’m glad I packed lunch today. They had eggplant parmesan, my absolute favorite food, and it was smothered in cheese. Gotta watch my girlish figure and avoid stuff like that. Bridgette inspires me!
Yo Yo’s packing, but not lunch!
Bei Shen must be young, if he’s never had a mediocre erection. Bei, have a chat with Uncle Smoggy or Uncle Cracka. They will explain everything.
THIS IS ANNE
“Yo Yo’s packing, but not lunch!”
Wink, wink, nudge nudge!
i’m on a diet now, too. i don’t want to end up like bridgette’s raped brother…fat AND raped!! double ick!!! stupid exercise and food without cheese. ridiculous.
It is great to see Christians fighting back against these atheists for once. There most definitely is a GOD and he shall judge you all for testing him!
Give that woman a lollipop! Or a lightsaber enema, either one will do.
There goes Bridgette playing God again, thinking she knows God’s inner thoughts and desires. She’s too stupid to realize that we’re all educated enough to know that is wrong, wrong, wrong. What a brother-fucking idiot.
Bei talks like a ching-chong. He has no need for plurals or contractions.
now i know bridgette is one of you fucks, but which one?
bridgette, we’re not the ones who are testing god. you are the one who goes to your cult gathering every sunday begging god to bathe you in his spirit. why? you need some sort of proof? i thought you had faith. your big group placebo-induced-hallucination is more of a test than anything we ask of god…which is nothing. well, nun asks for chiba. which leads to a similar state of mind and, coincidentally, is also easily explained by natural (read: NOt supernatural) means.
Nun would have made Bridgette a man. Ben is too “stupid” to pull of Bridgette. Anne would have made Bridgette a pagan. That leaves Cracka and Yo Yo.
that’s what i’m asking, josh. smoggy is the only one who never breaks character, but bridgette is so american. i’m not sure. she can’t be real, though. she shows up with perfect timing and says the funniest things. maybe smoggy is one of bridgette’s characters? she’s already demonstrated a natural gift for comedy. she probably just wikipedia’d new zealand and started spouting off about it.
well, i can’t prove it, but it’s not me. i’d take credit for such a great scam if the jig was finally up, too.
Yo -
#49. I was kinda suspicious when the “doctor” came in wearing a leather corset and stiletto heels.
You’re packing? What time do you get off work?
Bei - you’ll understand all about mediocre erections once you hit 40 years old. (Goddamned kids and their rock-and-roll music).
Anne - I won’t tell you what the entre was. Just too grisly to bear; (there is a hint in there) but the soup was double cheesy chicken corn chowder. The ladle stood up on it’s own, I kid you not.
maybe ben is bridgette’s stupid personality?
shut up, stupid.
You just blew my mind Cracka! Ben is Bridgette dumb version, holy shit it’s like Primal Fear and Yo Yo’s the pervert priest
Bridgette didn’t properly capitalize for God so she’s probably going to hell.
As for why she always responds at opportune times… HELLO!! She has no real life friends. She probably tells her pastor that she’s doing God’s work on the internet.
I have a wonderful life, a loving husband and two beautiful children. My pastor encourages us to preach the gospel to those who are the most lost.
the next number is for nun.
and your pastor is an uneducated charlatan and you are the superstitious villager who needs something to cling to so your feeble mind doesn’t cave in.
that number was supposed to be 69, dude!!
You’re the stupid one, Bridgette. Not us. You can say whatever you like to try to convince us and yourself but the fact is, if you had such a wonderful life, you wouldn’t spend all your time here.
Your husband probably fucks skinny girls as he gets tired of bouncing off your fat ass.
bridgette, a little advice.
i was raised by a minister. i’m a preacher’s kid. all the other people here have backgrounds of religious upbringing, to the extreme. that’s probably why we get each other’s subtle and not so subtle jokes. so, if you want to “preach the gospel” you’re going to need to dig deeper, find some way to debate your way through all the medieval hocus pocus and contradictions and make a coherent fucking argument for your invisible man theory. just posting scriptures that we all know more intimately than you do and telling us we’re going to an imaginary lake of fire is not going to work. do some research. read dawkins’ book ‘the god delusion” try looking at it from our point of view. we already understand yours. try reading pz myers blog on a daily basis and debating those people (they’ll destroy you). then, maybe, just maybe, you can save nun’s whorey soul for jesus. he’ll high five you when you get to “thank god this place exists because i was afraid to die if it didn’t” land.
Bridgette is incredibly stupid. She’s too stupid to realize we all know more about the Bible than she does. She’s also too stupid to realize that what she’s doing is the equivalent of us standing outside her church and telling her how foolish she is because God already chose the Mormons as the “right” ones. Organized religion sucks Bridgette’s nasty cunthole.
all that reading and thinking is probably too much to ask from a half-assed christian soldier like yourself, though. and you’re probably busy making up sciencey sounding things for your creation classes and your anti-abortion rallies.
Cracka, et al: Bridgette aint me! I suspected Josh, because ’she’ made a spelling error yesterday, but am retracting that statement.
I like the idea of Ben being her idiot avatar. Ben, are you a meat puppet or a sock puppet?
that’s right! as south park pointed out, the correct answer is mormon…mormon…so sorry.
I’m a pastor’s kid… he was raised Southern Baptist and pastored First Baptist who kicked him out for being intolerant. There is nothing that Bridgette can say that I haven’t already heard.
uppity cracka, you were a PK? That explains all.
I am not overweight as you can see and I have a wonderful marriage. You are right ‘cracka’ I have obviously not done a very good job here of preaching the word. I will just have to pray and try harder to be more understanding.
Or you could get a clue, you dumb fuck, and just leave. We’re not interested in your fake “preaching”. If I want preaching I’ll go to somebody who knows what they’re talking about. Jesus you’re obtuse.
oh no! bridgette’s in denial about her fat, red face!
yeah, PKs are fucked up people.
exhibit one: nun.
exhibit two: cracka.
nun. i like when bridgette posts.
A) it’s hilarious
B) it livens up the day
With most sincerity, Cracka, #72 sums up perfectly the type of bond that many of us here have and why we get the joke.
Thank you for your insight.
Cracka,
she may be in denial, but she has a wonderful marriage and two beautiful children.
I wonder how long it will be until Bridgette’s kids(assuming she really has kids) are posting on blogs like this.
I wonder if they’ll be as fvcked up as Brigette, or post stuff about how crazy she is.
I’m thinking of posting a link to this site on Ben Stein’s Intelligence Not Allowed webpage, just so we could have some new Bridgette clones to slap around.
She’ll probably have one who is just as freaky as she is and one who will see the hypocrisy for what it is. That person will turn out like Cracka and I and Bridgette will disown them.
ok which one of you bastards is Bridgette!!!!!!
how do we know it’s not you Josh?!
I think Bridgette is for real. None of us could be so straight-faced for so long. None of us would be willing to post that picture over and over again, when even the silliest avatar is better-looking.
Think about this for a minute, guys & gals. Bridgette has adopted us as her special “lost sheep.” That means she has to read all these comments, plus God’s Holy Blog, every day, just to make progress on her holy mission. All this talk about huge erections and anal probing, and meatsticks and sheep sex. She has to read it and be serious about it.
The best part is, she says we’re testing God. So here goes:
GOD TEST
(This is not multiple choice. God must know the answer.)
1. Who said, “Give me liberty, or give me death?”
2. Who was the fourth Marx brother?
3. What is the periodic element number of helium? (DON’T CHEAT!)
4. Name two fundamental differences in animal and plant cells.
5. What is the perimeter, in yards, feet, and inches, of Guantanamo Bay Prison?
6. What is causing that nasty knocking noise in my car engine?
(Oh, wait, I know the answer to #6. It’s an engine smite! God always smites my car since He can’t touch me.)
I believe in you, Bridgette. Then again, I believe in unicorns.
Cracka believes he’ll have another drink.
Fairies don’t make your genitals shrink.
Soggy’s meatstick sure does stink.
I think it’s funny Yo Yo will not type out “fuck” he has to spell it like fvck!!! Ha! Maybe Yo Yo is Bridgette’s meat puppet and she refuses to type out a curse because it is a sin
Ooops! I misspelled Smoggy, I think.
Yo Yo’s using Latin letters. Wink wink.
Deus omnia vincit.
This one’s for you, Bridgette. Please stay and play with us. The thought of you traipsing through a rain forest trying to save souls and buy pottery makes me ill.
The Pin Oak is mightier than the Lord!
Anne’s right - I prefer the Latin.
‘Fabricvs Deivm, Pvnk’
- Seen on an ancient Roman police station
Bridgette, I’m glad you set aside this special time to appear here and humiliate yourself.
when bridgette gets lost in the rain forest she’ll have to save herself.
In the rain forest, they say that stewed missionary tastes just like chicken.
Sorry, but missionaries are a pet peeve. Except for Bridgette, who wisely chooses to stay at home and work with us.
It’s Miller time!
yoyo-
do you like that scene in ‘the life of brian’ where the centurion guy is correcting brian’s grammar when he’s vandalizing the square? when he finally gets it right, the centurion says, “good. now get to work. if it’s not done by sunrise we’ll cut your balls off.”
“those who are called roman go into the house? good god, man, where did you learn to write?”
i paraphrased, of course.
it’s customary to applaude everyone on improv day, thank you. just like karaoke except i’m the only one who’s drinking.
Charles Addams had a great cartoon about missionaries:
Scene: A village of cannibals is dipping food out of a big pot.
One of the cannibals is refusing to eat, saying: “Oh, I like missionary, but missionary doesn’t like me!”
what’s this then?
it says, ‘romans go home’
no it doesn’t.
yes. romans go home.
no it doesn’t. those who are called roman go into the house.
you tube will settle this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIAdHEwiAy8
LOL, love all the Monty Python movies! Sometimes I quote stuff out of them. Sadly, there’s fewer people who understand, I just get a blank look from the younglings.
i find that if you overdo the hell out of your silly british accent people will think it’s funny even if they have no idea what you’re talking about.
YoYO - how come you don’t spell fuck? is it becaouse of where you work??
Good one Cracka - love, love, loved that film.
If Bridgette falls down in the rain forest and is too fat to get herself up and no one is around, is she still an idiot?
crucifixion?
yes.
good. one cross each, line on the left.
crucifixion?
yes.
good. one cross each, line on the left.
crucifixion?
nope. no they said i’d done my time and i could go home now.
oh? well, all right…
no, i’m only pulling your leg. it’s crucifixion.
ahhhh, Bridgette rudimentary understanding of the bible both amuses and infuriates me.
I do agree that everyone here knows more about that book than her, even simple Ben.
Hey guys, I’ll see you at the rapture! I often wonder who the 144,000 are and what they’re doing right now.
sometimes, when i’m meeting with management or when i get nonsensical emails from suits that i’ve never met who have terrible ideas about how i should do my job, i think of the birth scene in ‘the meaning of life.’
bring in the machine that goes BINNNNNGGGGG!!!!
sometimes i wish the rapture would just happen already so we can get on with our lives.
Bridgette,
Here is a simple bible question for you: If a boy loses his father to death at an early age, and spends his life going down the wrong path, is he to be judged based on the same ruler as a boy who had his father, one who kept him on the straight and narrow? Are poeple with completely different circumstances to be judged by the same laws, the same sins? If they are that would not be fair, if they are not that too would not be fair. What’s a God to do?
I once heard HRH Prince Charles do a really good cockney accent that had all of us in stitches. We often have ethnicity or accent days in the laboratory where we make up names and talk in bad accents.
Today was Puerto Rican day and I wore a name tag that reads “Bernardo”.
I know, I know - we are a wild bunch.
Gosh, I really should keep up better.
Ben, no, I make the rules regarding Internet content. I’ve blocked the fvckers who watch youtube - I need the bandwidth to download cracked programs and music.
HRH Prince Charles is a bozo and I really hope Prince William does what he said he’d do years ago when he first inherits the Crown of England… reinstate his mother’s royal title. She deserved it, damn it!
where i work, we would get sent to sensitivity training for that hilarious offense. never move back to civilization, curtis, the “ethnics” have NO sense of humor.
Heh, I was getting reamed in a meeting, the team leader could see I was getting upset. He said, “We don’t mean this to be the Spanish Inquisition.”
I brightened and said, “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!”
Luckily we had some Pythonites in the meeting.
nun has really strong opinions about things that i’ve never even thought about and it happens quite often. crazy bitch.
i could say something like:
thinking of making a bunch of jello shots for a birthday party.
nun: don’t you dare use fucking orange jello! i hate orange jello with the white hot intensity of a trillion suns!!!!
come on cracka, who hates orange jello. Now that fucking green jello can kiss my non hairy yellow as!
aSSSSSS! yellow assss!
JOSH SELF-FACE!
’strewth. Then you’ll followup with a ‘whore’ comment, Ben will be slammed, and Bridgette will copy ‘n paste a Bible verse about drinking alcohol:
Absolut 1 : 1 …and the LORD sayeth, thou shalt not vomit upon thy neighbor, or thy neighbor’s ass, or grope thy neighbor’s wife’s ass when drunk.
2 And verily, it was so, and the Lord was pleased, and stopped to smoke with Nun.
3 And the Lord’s ass turned and spaketh to him, and the Lord smote his ass, and cried out in pain.
4 Yea, sayeth the Lord, no more recreational drugs for me!
Amen
Cracka forgot the obligatory
Whenever I hate it is followed by the cranky face. Stupid cracka. 
Oh yeah, Josh will misspell something, and correst it in a followup post!
Yo Yo’s silly if he really believes that God will stop using recreational drugs.
The thought of smoking some of God’s sweet, sweet chiba with Dear Ol’ God Himself makes me giddy with excitement. And not because He has a mammoth sized Cock of Truth.
Him dammit! I mean correct it!
Believe it or not, Nun, HRH Prince Charles (or good ol’ Chuck, as Mark refers to him) is really a pretty nice and down to earth guy. Honest. He was very nice to me the couple of times I met him. I would agree to reinstating the royal title, but there are rules that go back thousands of years. It’s complicated.
Cracka - what the fuck kind of fagoty thing is “sensitivity training”? Sounds like something a bunch of wetback half breed lesbians would put on.
Yo - we say that line all the time around here. You’d fit right in! I’m also partial to Mel Brooks song and dance about the Inquisition.
Alright. Y’all have a great weekend and be sure to pray for Bridgette. God knows she’s the one who really needs it.
LOL, Point, Nun!
LOL, Points to Nun!
I’m sure Prince Charles is a decent bloke and I realize it was not his decision to strip Diana of her royal title but I still say the guy is a bozo. Maybe it’s just his appearance.
He’ll never be as big as a bozo as GWB so that’s something, I suppose.
i like prince charles because he had diana killed
This is going to sound really sappy and most un-Nun-like but I know Diana used the media to her advantage… to make herself look good and Prince Charles look bad but she was still a mum to two boys who loved her dearly. I’m a conspiracy theorist but I’m not sure she was killed by anybody other than a driver going too fast and parasitic paps who just couldn’t let her be. Stupid Ben.
nun, in that entire post the only things i see that you hate are paps and ben. you’re right. that was sappy.
I hate you, Cracka.
Is that better?
it’s warmy familiar.
him dammit! WARMLY…what am i, josh?
Josh is retarded. What’s your excuse?
i was typing with my penis.
I AM NOT A WHORE!!
who are all these new people and why are they so angry?
Darling child of my name, come unto me and I will restore thee to the favour of thy ancestral deities!
To the one who calls himself Cracka: I will delight thee with a Hammer of Glory, for which even Miss Nun will pine with the white hot intensity of ten thousand suns!
To the one who calls himself Josh: I will sing unto thy little angel until he sleepeth through the night, yea unto past dawn, and waketh hungry but smiling!
To God: Stop using my recipe for potatoes au gratin! I got that from the Aztecs, and they’re not pleased with You at all!
God, you could have given your competition a prettier avatar with no skin off Your holy back.
thanks for smiting the economy with layoffs so i have the pleasure of working so late all the time. good one, GOD!!!!
God, tripping off cough syrup is so Old Testament! I’ll bet You could cook meth without the odor if You wanted to.
God on meth. Not a pretty thought.
Oh my You, God. You’re not doing methamphetamines are you?!? Not only will that rot your omniscient brain but really fucks with your teethe too!
See: http://www.mappsd.org/NewMM-6.jpg
Damn it - a spelling mistake AND I forgot the secret log in for my pink sparkling gravitar thingy.
Him damn it!
DON’T ANYBODY LOOK AT THAT PICTURE! DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID!!
Curtis…doooooooood….that’s just wrong….
WHAT BEN SAID!!!! Do not look at that link!
Stop it, squeamish fairy! Those might be God’s teeth.
Dear God,
2,784,936 ? WTF ???
Ben. Just say no.
Dear God,
You smote my Facebook. I can’t get on it from my home PC. But you know, I’m a certain age. I can live with it.
But you also smote Teenzilla’s Facebook. Now there’s a smite! No chat, no gossip! No looking endlessly at everyone else’s pictures! Teenzilla is WRETCHED.
Great is Thy name, O Lord.
cracka @62:
“maybe smoggy is one of bridgette’s characters?”
Jeeezus cracka, you crusty penis-knob, God has already assured everyone that I am a 100%, bonafide Noo Zillunder. Would I be posting during the Americanus weekend if I was a bridgette!
And if bridgette was a Smoggy creation, take it from me she’d be a fucking-great-deal-more-irritating. I’d have her posting five times a day–cluttering the blog with vapid Christian slogans, feeble bible verses taken out of context, exhortations to repent or get a poker up your arse, and a regular ‘worship in tongues’ feature. (’lick me Lord and in your face I’ll Come’)
Think back to the ‘Hymn Singer’, and ‘Saint Peter’, and ‘Mandingo’, and ‘Smog-in-Black’, and ‘Nun Ur Damned Bizness’, and a million other irritating Smoggy creations and you’ll know what I mean.
Anyway, it’s obvious Bridgette is secretly a sadomasochistic transexual–her name is an anagram for “Beg! Red tit!”
Feel the love (and clamp a nipple)
Smoggy
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