Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Barack Obama is played out. He’s totally wack now, and I’m sick of seeing his douchey smiling face plastered all over My Planet. He’s been king of America for over 40 hours already, and what has he gotten done? Jack shit, that’s what.
Barack Obama is an asshole. He promised Me to give Me a sweet site plug when he took his oath, and he flubbed it up. He was supposed to say, ’so help me God, at StuffGodHates.com.’ Man I hate that asshole.
Barack Obama is a total poser, and he needs to stop claiming that first African-American president bullshit. He doesn’t count. He’s only half-African, and none of his ancestors were slaves. In fact, Obama’s great-great-great-great, great-great-great-great, great-great-grandfather helped sell Martin Luther King’s ancestors to the Dutch.
Barack Obama is an insensitive jerk. While I’m busy smiting the world’s economy and gathering more unemployed followers, Obama has vowed to do everything he can to save the economy! Presumably so you can all go back to being a bunch of lecherous fatasses.
Barack Obama is an atheist heathen! During his inauguration speech, he gave a shout-out to atheists and included them as part of the population of America. They are clearly not. They are inhuman monsters who stalk the night stealing babies from homes to drink their sweet innocent baby-blood.
Barack Obama is a disgusting pervert. The first night he spent in the White House, he and his wife had all kinds of dirty sex in the Lincoln bedroom. Oh, they started out with the standard fare, and quickly moved on to oral and anal. There were rimjobs, fisting, a Rusty Trombone, a Chicago Steamer, a Stinky Hitler, a Donkey Punch, and it all culminated in a Strawberry Shortcake (Barack ejaculated in Michelle’s face and then punched her in the nose, causing blood to stream forth). And then while she was unconscious, he gave her an Abe Lincoln just for good measure. Shocking but true. As you can imagine, I was aghast as I watched it all happen.
Finally, Barack Obama is a false idol. People are starting to pray to him instead of Me, and that is not good. At least with Bush I knew where I stood. You people were praying to Me constantly, mostly to smite Bush.
I miss the dumb bastard already.
Ralph on 
freebiesss on 
TheEvilOverlord on 
God on 
Craig on 
samanta on 
ShunRenHu on 
When I think of Barack and Michelle gettin’ busy in the Lincoln bedroom, I also see Rick Warren peeping from the shadows and jerking off, and everybody screaming “Oh God, Oh God!”
Awwww whats the matter? Upset that there are people, like Atheists, who have a higher moral standard than you?
What are you griping about? He included atheists but said nothing about Pagans! Slighted again. I’m not gonna pay my taxes this year.
i got so drunk on tuesday listening to my theme song over and over again that i had to call in yesterday. think i better stop drinking for a while. by ’stop’ i mean switch to beer.
how shall we aid You in Your Divine Hatred for Barack Obama, God? smite mixed race children? smite kenya? smite people named barack?
I will say this: Barack-O put the smack-down
on Hillary, putting her wide-hipped pantsuits wearing
atonal ass in her place, and now she’s his employee.
Admirable controlled vengeance.
Also, I prefer an angry God.
More realistic.
For all you heathens who have no idea what some of those sex acts are…
http://www.urbandictionary.com/
What an insightful and educational site that is.
Alverant - You are insane. Atheists do not have a higher moral standard than Me. I don’t eat babies, I make them!
Cracka - you shall aid Me in smiting Obama by refusing all this ’spirit of service’ nonsense and by feeding the obsession with his daughters. Demand more coverage of them and be harshly critical of their clothes and their weight until one is bulimic and the other anorexic.
Hume Crony - I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT KIND OF ME YOU PREFER!
God said: “you shall aid Me in smiting Obama… …by feeding the obsession with his daughters. Demand more coverage of them and be harshly critical of their clothes and their weight until one is bulimic and the other anorexic.
Aha!! That’s where mortals get their cruelty towards the spawn of the famous. I should have known.
God, If Cracka shows an unhealthy obsession with the darling daughters of President Darkie then he will be smited by the Secret Service. Is that Your Ultimate Plan, God?
God, I believe Obama will do his best, but will ultimately fail, crushing the hopes of millions, and causing them to become Your supporters.
At least, that’s what my idiot neighbor, a Dittohead, says.
Picard’s response to Rick Warren: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj-TlRi_uj4
did anyone else find this one particularly funny? that part about the crazy sex they had in the Lincoln bedroom had me laughing pretty hard.
Smite mixed kids? Smite people named Barack? Fuck. I’m out ya’ll.
Dear God,
Obama is trying to save the economy, but only so the worthless losers in America will be able to give more in their tithes. It’s all for You.
That’s better, God.
Let your anger flow.
i like that God loved Obama one day and hated him the next and i liked the incredible disrespect in this post. it’s why i come here. the only other source i know of that slanders the popular at this level is south park.
Hume, you sound like Emperor Palpatine.
Wow. God is so fickle. Good! That way He instills more fear in the hearts of people like Bridgette. Good plan, Big G! Keep us on our toes.
Anne:
“Homemade” chili, greasy grilled cheese sandwich, “homemade” cheesy broccoli soup (basically more fondue), and pineapple upside down cake. I think I saw one slightly wilted bowl of lettuce salad.
These aren’t cafeteria ladies, they must be daemons in disguise. The kitchen is always very hot, you know. Must be a portal to Hell.
Today I would like to take issue with Obama’s dancing with his wife during the inauguration. If I have to see it one more time on TV it will be once too many and I wish it would just stop already. When Bush danced (as he did when traveled to Africa) I know he’s goofing around for my amusement and I kinda respect that. But when Obama danced he’s telling me “Look at me, I’m hip. I’m cool. I’m so with it.”
What a pompous ass.
Funny Bei, when I saw Obama and his wife dance I thought he’s thinking, “I”m going to tear this up tonight, in the Lincoln bedroom. Give us us free baby!”
I guess we see what we want to see, usually things that reinforce the ideas we already have. I mean, when Bush danced I thought he was saying, “Look at me! I’m better than you’re African customs! Anyone have any coke and could you get these darkie babies away from me? I don’t want to catch any negro-itis!”
We do see what we want to see because when I watched Obama dance I knew that he had a big dick and now we have a President with rhythm. All darkies have rhythm and big dicks.
it’s true, the darker the darky, the bigger and more rythmic they are.
wesley snipes?
Rumor has it that Fred Astaire was actually Wesley Snipe is white face.
let’s see here. i saw a blurry image of something moving around and the walls were sort of spinning a lot and i wasn’t sure where my vomit was going to end up so i swallowed it…
and then i thought, “now i know how nun’s vagina feels after i roofy it and it pukes on itself.”
Damn these fat asian fingers!!!!
Rumor has it that Fred Astaire was actually Wesley Snipes in white face.
thanks, josh, now i know what i’m going to be next halloween.
blackface, a monstrous strap-on and a gun conspicuously tucked into my belt to complete the costume. what am i missing? maybe i’ll wear a noose around my neck and have a friend go as a klansman. he could lead me around like it’s a leash. do you think we’ll get any looks? i’ve got plenty of time to grow out my ‘fro. any help to make this more offensive would be greatly appreciated.
Cracka,
All darkies smoke blunts. You must have a blunt and a crack pipe if you want to be a believable darkie.
How do I got my avatar up?
Oh yeah, you must also be unemployed, a welfare cheater and wear a lot of bling.
cracka,
Unless you can get a pregnant white girl to go out with you, don’t even bother
Bei,
ya gotta enter in your email in the email forms elses nothing shows up.
Like this?
yup thats exachary how its done. good yob
Bei is cute. I want to fuck him.
be honest Nun. you didn’t need the urban dictionary to know what all those crazy sex things were. you’ve experienced them all first hand.
Hey, it works! Thanks, Ben.
Where was I? Ah, yes. It’s a dark time to be an American. I just want to remind everyone that O has zero executive experience. Nope, he has never led. His greatest strength was luck and lips service. But it’s all gonna go downhill from here. His ability to mint words and pull beautiful rhectorics from his arse will no longer work. The Soviets wants our help to solidify their grip on power; the Chineses wants our market and credit cards; the North Koreans and Iranians want talk and more talk while they build nuclear arms; the Arabs want Jew expelled from Jerusalem; the Europians –well — the Europians are just a-holes … The list goes on and on.
I don’t think O can handle all that. He won’t be able to talk himself out of the mess. You guys will see. Bridgette and I already know.
Better to reamin silent and appear a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
^remain
He didn’t open his mouth. He pulled his hands out of his pants and typed all that. Silly chinky-chong.
Bei,
the way you speak, you seem to think that America is the sole bastion of hope in a world full of horrible, idiotic, and untrustworthy fools. In doing so you have shown you have plenty of America’s greatest export: arrogance.
Nun, you know what I meant! I didn’t want to change to quote to reflect this medium.
Better to remain a fool than to stop trolling for porn on the internet long enough to type and remove all doubt.
There better?
Huh? I’m sorry, did you say something? I was masturbating to Mr. T.
And don’t put too much stock in what Bei says, Josh. He calls the Chinese ‘Chineses’ and all Jews are just one big ‘Jew’. In short, he’s arrogant and ignorant.
actually, that is better, josh. now, get your lazy ass out of bed and get a job.
bei, i like your rhetoric. you write a more convincing polemic than hitchens or krugman or kristol COMBINED!!! tell me more. and please don’t hold back on the stereotyping this time. just calling all europeans a-holes is a nice start, but doesn’t quite bring it home for me.
nun, he was talking about the unpleasant jew. what a jerky jew that guy is!!
Not only did she experience them all first hand, she wrote the Urban Dictionary entries.
rush limbaugh hopes that obama fails so that our democracy crumbles and he can take over after leading the honkies to victory in that race war thing the minutemen keep warning us about.
he wants obama to fail so the world crumbles and he can steal the drugs he loves so much.
I fucking hare Rush. Rush is the real character which Cracka’s persona mocks.
What? You guys don’t like my flowery Hawaiian T-shirt and flip-flop?
I don’t know what “polemic” means.
flip-flop? you one legged bastard you.
you don’t know what polemic means? that means you are not one of smoggy’s alter-ego characters. are you the real bridgette?
SHUT UP, JOSH!!! RUSH IS A RIPOFF OF ME!!! HE’D HAVE NOTHING IF IT WEREN’T FOR ME!!!! DAMN HIM TO HELL!!!! DAMN YOU RUSH, YOU UNORIGINAL BASTARD!!!!!!!
I just noticed that Cracka has his own theme song on the Divine playlist. How cool. Even more cool is that the Big G listens to Weezer. How could anyone doubt His omniscience now?
it can’t be doubted. it’s indubitable. and since it’s our religion people have to respect it even though it may seem ridiculous.
“you can’t really believe that. that’s stupid”
“no, it’s not stupid. it’s my religion.”
“oh, sorry. in that case, i respect your beliefs.”
maybe if you start saying more offensive things you can get your own theme song, curtis. something…i don’t know…gay. what do you gays listen to these days?
Cracka, we listen to Cher, Judy, Barbara, and Beyonce — duh!
oh snap!
.
.
.
.
.
i want my own theme song too.
as per Curtis’ request:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJlPEHL85Ig
ben’s theme song?
“shut up” by shut up and the shut ups.
Ben,
you already have you’re own theme song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BJIEjXEqhU
…And their followup hit, STFU, Ben!
Here’s my theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9iiU6NDxIo&feature=PlayList&p=74EA499BC3AAF832&playnext=1&index=6
haha everybody real funny. i want a cool song.
You have to let God decide what your theme song should be. Like He did for Cracka and I.
I originally thought this was Nun’s theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47rV_IXgfBE&feature=related
ok, that’s true…
Bei Shun I am glad that I am finally not the only person here who is’nt a flaming liberal. I agree with everything you said. Obama may give pretty speeches but that doesn’t mean anything for being president. He is very proud and vain of himself.
Proverbs 16:18
“Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.”
I think God will agree to both of our theme songs.
God knows my heart so He knows that my first love is sweet, sweet chiba and my second love is beautiful black cock and my third love is cock of any other color so God’s chosen theme song is indeed the one that fits me best.
I think Bridgette should look up pride(if she’s even smart enough to understand the definition) as she shows pride on this blog all the time.
Hey Bridgette, did you just feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of doughnuts suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced?
in outer space, no one can hear you get
FACED!
I love Ben’s theme song, I’m skeptical about Yo’s because he’s not black.
The thing is, Josh, I’ve lost a LOT of weight since then.
Bridette,
I’m actually a conservative, but I’m not the asshole type that believes that others need to follow my views. I was raised VERY religious, and still hold many of the “morals” I grew up with, but like the good books says I don’t judge others. I leave that job to God.
So Nun can smoke chiba and bang all the black dudes she wants, and even send me pictures of her boobs. Cracka can hate every minority in the world including his spick parents. Yo Yo can be such a liberal that he grows his own pot in his back yard to give to his kids friends so they don’t have to get bad weed on the streets. Ben can shut up all he wants. It’s not for me to judge them. You however, are an idiot who claims to know and liev the bible but it’s true meaning is hidden from you.
Luke 18:34 (New International Version): The disciples did not understand any of this. Its meaning was hidden from them, and they did not know what he was talking about.
Curtis, I had an accident, but due to a donor and a great transplant team…
BTW, I do not grow pot in my backyard!
It’s mixed in the tomatoes. (Damned helicopters!)
Also, my sons help me grow it and sell it. We’ve never believed in allowances, they have to earn their money.
to each his own Yo Yo.. just send Nun some. She likes it, also if you could send her one of the longer eggplants you grow
I feel that I should clarify that I only sent Josh naked booby pics until I realized he was a retarded chinky chong. I don’t want no retardo chinky chong wankin’ it to my beautiful tittays.
Josh, I sent her an overripe zucchini, never got a thank-you.
Yay! Bridgette’s back - it’s Bible time:
Leviticus 11:20-21
20 All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you.
21 Yet these may ye eat of every flying creeping thing that goeth upon all four, which have legs above their feet, to leap withal upon the earth;
If God created all life on earth why is he apparently unaware that there are no winged creatures with four legs? There never has been. Birds have two and insects have six to eight. So, WTF is the babbling about here?
why do i always miss the best parts of the blogging day?
i’m going home to NOT get drunk. that’s right NOT get drunk.
bridgette-FACE!
ben-shut up.
the rest of you……………..fuck off.
Curtis,
Fun bible fact: the punishment for “homosexuality” is the same as the punishment for eating shellfish: DEATH!
I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but that’s not even close to fair. If I had my choice I’d rather get a blow job than a trip to red lobster anyday!
you’re NOT getting drunk?? Sweet Jesus on a stick! Our innervention worked!
NOT getting drunk?? It’s the end of the world as we know it!
NOT getting drunk? I’m skeptical.
guys calm down. you can’t believe anything Curtis is saying now because he is drunk!!
Whew - thanks, Josh, I’d, I’d lost all perspective for a moment.
Did Josh mean to say ‘Cracka’ instead of ‘Curtis’?
Him Dammit! Now I’m all worried again!
they’re both drunk!!!!!
I’m not as think as you drunk I am, chink-o. Now if y’all will excuse me, I’m going to lie down for a while.
‘night, internuts. Y’all are the most fun I’ve had all day.
Curtis is going to go have drunk and sloppy anal sex.
Josh is drunk on the slimy slobber of baby kisses.
ha! I don’t let my baby kiss me, I don’t know where he’s been.
I am punch drunk though, my kid has me up all night watching episodes of forensic files.
There’s no greater feeling than a baby kiss. That’s what I’d say if I was a serious person. Since I’m just a smart-ass… babies are gross and nasty, I kick them whenever I get the chance.
my kid is 6 weeks old, he doesn’t know what a kiss is. My wife presses him against her face to make him “kiss” her, he he has not clue what’s going on, it’s like date rape .
No baby knows what a kiss is, you retarded chinky-chong! But when a baby pushes his little open and slobbering mouth against you and you end up with baby drool running down your chin, you’ve been baby-kissed. It’s the grossest thing. My loser kid used to do it until I threw him across the room.
CENTURY QUICKENING!!
There can be only one, and today it was me bitches.
Do you all have tiny penises? Is that why getting the 100th post is a big deal?
yes Ben, it was you. you are the man.
go out and buy this to sustain this feeling:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETN1px7i4KY
i already own that cd josh. it didn’t work. i tried to use the 100% guarantee to get my money back but they said no.
Him damn it, I missed a lot of fun here today! No smiley face correctly describes how I’m feeling right now.
Closest.
This will kill Bridgette. Bridgette, dear, the government gave me lunch today for 40 cents. And it was a good balanced meal too: a turkey sub, an orange, and a half pint of chocolate milk. One of my students didn’t want his eats, because it wasn’t peanut butter and jelly. (The peanut butter was recalled.)
Government handouts, Bridgette. Communism! How dare our government feed the poor! Isn’t that what you stupid Jesus freaks are supposed to do? Then why aren’t you doing it, bitch! Next time I get a cheap lunch, I want YOU to pay for it. So get a job.
One big piece of parental advice. Babies are a lot easier to throw across the room than teenagers. So do it now and save yourself a strained back in 15 years.
#7, yeah right God. Last time you got any was with a tweener 2000 years ago. And since half of fertilized eggs aren’t implanted in the womb, my guess is that you’re the one taking them and eating them like little goldfish crackers. As for moral standards, I know genocide is wrong no matter who does it. To you, it’s a sport. So what’s your rational for being morally superior?
That urban dictionary is really something! I learnt so much.
now you should read “the political and ethical dictionary for people who do not think their morality is the ultimate and should be practiced by others” dictionary. you and bridgette could learn a lot there too.
that’s not even a real book, josh. don’t listen to him, bei shen. you just keep on making sweeping generalizations and snap judgments based on minimal data and passing it off as wisdom on people who are too distracted or stupid to know the difference. if you keep it up, maybe we’ll make you an honorary cracka…like we did with michael jackson.
…and tiger woods.
…and barack obama.
Someone stepped into my office to complain about whoever made coffee yesterday.
1: I didn’t make it.
2: I don’t drink it.
3: I don’t care.
I quickly listed these bullet points before idiot woman could go into her spiel about bad coffee, and suggested she take it up with the coffee maker.
She got huffy and left. So it’s a good day!
(Idiot woman is always complaining about something, in an annoying, whiny voice. Everything affects her, she’s the center of the world, etc. I wonder if God will smite her for me?)
Followup! I just found out that Idiot Woman was rear-ended at a traffic light yesterday, God is amazing - he got in a pre-emptive smite!
there you have it: ultimate proof that our e-religion is the one true religion. all other religions are outdated, smiteless limp-wristed religions for losers and fat people.
God is GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!!!!
Just when I was gonna hate you God, you always deliver. I love you again!
Darn right.
It’s not love and respect if you don’t properly capitalize for Him.
I think Bridgette is real but am I the only one that thinks Bei might be pulling some legs?
I think they are both someone’s sock puppets.
I’m not sure about Bridgette because she is always so fucking crazy, but I don’t think Bei seems at all like a fake person, although he maybe is kidding us like cracka with his opinions.
Bridgette is a sock puppet for her pastor and she’s not intelligent enough to think for herself so she’ll probably never see the things that we saw when we were smothered in organized religion.
If Bei really believes the things he believes then he’s ignorant as well as arrogant. I’m not sure how stupid he is though. Bridgette’s stupidity is pretty obvious… Jesus cures AIDS y’all.
**If Bei really believes the things he says…**
I pulled a chinky-chong.
ben. ben, ben, ben, ben, ben. my opinions are not all in jest. for instance, i am of the opinion that you should shut up. really.
has jesus ever cured an amputation? spontaneous, miraculous rebirth of a limb. wow. that would be like a criss angel illusion.
i know bridgette.
“magic is the realm of satan.”
and
“do not test the lord thy god.”
stupid predictable bridgette.
i was in spy mode there for a minute.
**i know, bridgette**
i don’t actually KNOW bridgette. well, i know that she wields a dizzying intellectual prowess and a shiny face…
holy shit! God gave me a song. I like it!
Thanks God!
Anne:
Square fish (greasy breaded fish fillet - yuck!), meatless spaghetti, peas, cheesy Swiss cheese soup (I SWEAR I’m not making that up - it really is fondue), and bread pudding.
I’m pretty certain that God hates my cafeteria ladies. Perhaps he will review the menu selections and send us a omnipotent ruling on it. Either that or he hates me and this is my continued smite.
Dear God, please, please, please clear this situation up for me - my cholesterol is going through the roof!
Ben you idiot!
Remeber yesterday I sent you a link to that song! Clearly divine inspiration lead me to the link. I am only greatful that a stupid ching chong durr like myself was a tool of the Lord.
“tool of the lord”
haha.
Josh, I wish God would guide me the way He does you. I try to be a good e-evangelist, but clearly He favors your ching chong ass kissing to mine. Damn it - I’ve practiced too!
Curtis,
you just have to open yourself up to being a tool.
Josh is retarded, Curtis. God has been very clear on this… He loves the retards but hates their parents.
Way to go Milli VaYoYo
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28808317
Hey - McGill’s clarinet froze to his lips once, it wasn’t pretty.
face
NUN!!!
I am no retard; unless you count being Chinese a retardation of nature. then by that rule God loves me and my retarded parents.
Wow! I didn’t realize retards were so good at lying.
“open myself up to being a tool” There’s a joke in there somewhere, I’m just not clever enough to find it.
How gross! One of the surgical nurses just put an amputated leg in my refrigerator. I HATE amputations.
God, is this you? What is your opinion of this??
http://www.dumb.com/god/index.php
Isa no lying Nun. Eyes smart as any of utes. And eyes going to heaven!!!!
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0307/retarded.html
Utes? What the fuck is a ‘ute’ and when did you become a retarded Jar Jar Binks?
Ben,
That site is pure blasphemy!!!! And the god program they use is dumb. When I asked it a simple question like “Why is there wickedness?” the reply was “Why I am here?” stupid god bot.
Nun,
I was joking clearly, I am not retarded. A bad speller? Yes. But retarded? I know Ben, Ben is a friend of mine, and I am no Ben.
curtis, the easy joke is about how you’ve been opening yourself up to tools for years now…dumb joke a stupid god-bot could make.
retarded jar jar binks. seems redundant.
I know, Cracka… but a more retarded retarded Jar Jar sounds lame.
I don’t know that God loves Ben so we don’t know for sure if he’s retarded, Josh.
I thought his posts were definitive proof.
Definitive FACE!
The very fact he keeps posting here makes me wonder about his sanity, if not his IQ.
Retards are sweet and loveable. Ben is merely stupid.
HEY!
and feisty.
Curtis, we had fried fish too today. Damn Catholics! Fish on Friday. But we washed it down with Manhattan clam chowder. They know how to make soup here at the Vo-Tech. It is never fondue.
I think Ben must be either insane or impossible to insult. There are people who you just can’t insult so that they feel it.
Camden, NJ
Our head lunch lady is Catholic, so everybody eats fish or vegetarian on Fridays. If I were Buddhist, then I could have had a ham sandwich. Then again, if I were Buddhist, I wouldn’t be able to e-evangelize for the Big Guy, nor observe our e-religion with all of you nuts.
Alright. Pass the damn fish.
I just gave an orientation to a new hire. (They have to meet with someone from every department.) To prevent any problems they may have with I/T, I explained The Rules:
1: The computer geeks outrank everyone except God and Jesus. Forget this rule and you will be begging forgiveness of God and/or Jesus very soon.(For those belonging to faiths other than Christianity please substitute appropriate deities)
2: Most I/T people get their jobs by killing and eating the heart and liver of the guy who previously held the post.
3: it’s easier to get through the day if you keep a bottle in your desk at all times.
4: Make sure there’s enough for two.
curtis, do i remember you saying you hate amputations? hell, amputations is the whole reason i even work here.
what’s in the fridge?
a freakin’ severed human hand that’s what!! awesome.
Must be lots of fun at Halloween at your work places.
I’d feel better about the amputations at cracka’s workplace than at Curtis’s. At Curtis’s you wouldn’t be surprised to find Leg of Human on the lunch menu. Deep fried in lard.
Gotta go teach those find young minds.
camden, nj
…… FINE young minds!
either way, teach them about fairies and unicorns and maybe throw some creationism in there.
FINE young minds? AJ is screwing one of her students.
or possibly more than one, as she said students and that’s plulral.
I go to the local agriculture fairs in the summer, they always have a food booth selling Doughboys (basically fried bread). I believe they could deep fry a shoe and sell it.
there is a place in Brooklyn that sells deep fried snickers and twinkies. They will also deep fry anything (within reaon) you bring in for a minimal charge.
Josh, If I ever make it to NY, I’ll have to go to Brooklyn and have a taste.
There is a deep-fried food contest every year (in Texas?), last year’s winner was deep-fried Coca-Cola! You freeze up balls of syrup and drop it in the fryolator, I guess.
http://www.chipshopnyc.com/images/TakeoutMenuP1.jpg
their menu (on page 2) also offers deep fried pizza
Wow! Thanks for the link. This could give Curtis’ lunch ladys a heart attack.
Speaking of Curtis (or would this apply to Cracka, or Nun), one of the desserts was Spotted Dick.
Nice, nothing better for lunch than Herpes Penis.
They also have Bagers and Mash, which really sounds like Nun and Cracka!
Yo -
#154 - rule number 3.
YOUR lunch ladies ROCK!!
Excuse me, I meant to say Bangers and Mash.
Sorry, it’s actually rule 2.
I lurves me some bangers and mash. I’m also quite fond of pasties. I lived in Cornwall, England for a spell. Nice place.
HOLY SHIT!
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/01/23/pakistan.missile/
God, do you still hate Obama? 3 days on the job and he’s already killed 20 muslims!
the minnesota state fair, which is exactly as lame as it sounds, is important to people because they can’t live without deep fried everything on a stick. pickles. candy bars. pizza. deep fried cheese tortellini covered with cheese sauce and cheese curds. ugh. it’s nothing but fat people eating fat food. i went one year because the flaming lips were playing there and i couldn’t believe they accumulated all the fat people in one place. if i were an e-believer back then i would have had a smiting field day.
Cornwall? Loverly food - clotted cream, pasties. Hmmm, even then, Death by Diet stalked Curtis!
Ben,
To have Bridgette explain it, that was just a family squabble
Cracka, I worked the fried food booth at one of the fairs. Scary to watch a 300 pound woman, her small husband in orbit around her, dock at the counter and order up three doughboys, then turn to her husband ask him what he wanted.
Curtis, what were you doing in Cornwall? Seems a bit isolated. Surfing? Rock climbing? Please tell me it wasn’t some kind of Pilgrimage to Penzance.
Josh, O’Bama is Irish:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HplZ_taHXLM
josh faced bridgette without her even saying anything!
phantomFACE!!!
hey want to buy a cookie?
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh0LHi87pv9SGdL0GI
Yo -
Closeted Gilbert & Sullivan fan here, so Penzance it was.
No, really, my wickedly gay partner is Cornish, so I lived with him in sin for a while in Boscastle. It’s a good thing he’s gay, ’cause if he weren’t it would be sort of, you know, awkward around the house.
184# literal confection FACE??
i kind of miss sarah palin.
fuck, she was funny.
BRIDGETTE
tell us again about the communists and the flaming liberals…
“Obama is about to lift the gag order that prohibited federal funds going to international groups that performed abortions.
He has ordered a review of all of Bush’s last-minute policy acts, stopping them cold.
And look at this:
President Obama is expected to loosen the restrictions [on stem cell research], which many researchers and advocates have complained severely set back work toward curing disease such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and diabetes.
Okarma said Geron did not use any federal funding for its research, and that the Bush restrictions had “devastated the field.”
This is something else, when an incoming president can, in his first week, simply say “no” to all the bad policies of the prior White House occupant and achieve great good. It’s as if any idiot could do this job better than George W. Bush.
I imagine it will get harder, though.”
nice try, lucifer!
http://www.kvbc.com/Global/story.asp?S=9718863&nav=15MUCBSd
I am the very model of a modern data-analyst
For making sense of data I’m the necessary catalyst
Whatever field your data’s from I’m confident I can assist
I never document a function, I’m basically a pragmatist
He never documents a function; some people say he’s basically a pragmatist
He never documents a function; some people say he’s basically a pragmatist
He never documents a function; some people say he’s basically a pragmatist
I never waste a minute’s time, I’m keeping every hour full
I use my Access Manual constantly, those functions are so powerful
I call myself a catalyst, I’m confident I can assist,
I am the very model of a modern data-analyst!
Sometimes I have a problem making sure my work is relevant
I’m like the six blind men who found the parts but missed the elephant
I call myself a catalyst, I’m confident I can assist,
I am the very model of a modern data-analyst!
He calls himself a catalyst, He’s confident he can assist,
He is the very model of a modern data-analyst!
you use microsoft access? What type of shit hole company do you work for!!!!!
stupid cold is coming back.
gonna need whiskey.
i wonder if God thinks it should be a jack weekend or a jameson weekend?
Here’s a business plan. Have a bakery in one of the most liberal, integrated places in the world, and sell “drunken Negro head” cookies. Well, every village needs an idiot, so I guess that guy is Greenwich Village’s idiot.
Heh, a cheap one, Josh. I’ve pled for years for SQL Server or MySQL to no avail.
Someday…
can’t resist … can’t resist … gonna be a jackoff weekend, cracka.
Dammit, anne! You.Stole.My.Line!
Ben, do you live in a village? Because how the fuck long do you think I’d keep my job if I got it on with my students? I’ve got a kid older than my students! I look at them and I see KIDS.
Uh oh. Quickening on the horizon…
I miss battling it out with Smoggy over these.
Dear God,
Please answer my prayer and place this comment at number 200 to show paganannie that I am your number one sheep-rooting disciple and she is just a sad animist who gives herself to the first satyr, donkey or badger that happens to be shuffling by.
200! SMOGGY BATZRUBBLE RULES BECAUSE GOD SAYS SO.
As for the rest of you Americanus fuckers–stop talking about me, it makes my scrotum tingle and I’m tired of scratching. I have not been lurking here anonymously–Cronyn and Bei Shen are just self-involved toilet scrapings. If you want to know where I’ve been read my Christmas prayer to God (http://stuffgodhates.com/?p=931#comment-21449).
Hey Cracka–drink less, it makes you talk like a liberal pussy. Nun, you can cum now, I know you’ve been holding off pining for me (Nun hasn’t orgasmed since before Christmas. Better sandbag the levees). Anyone else want insulting?(apart from you Curtis, you little tighty!)
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
GREATFICTIONAL ARE THE UNICORNS!AnneSmoggy gets the Bi-centenial quickening.Damn
rightwrong. Now it’s time to decide whether it’s aTanquerayhorse-cum weekend or aStolitree-sap weekend.Smoggalicious!! But don’t worry, Smog. I masturbate to God so I cum all the time. God is so Divinely Sexy.
That poem of yours was purty good Smogs. How long did you work on that??
and so you’re saying you’re not Cronyn and Bei Shun? or you are. I’m confused.
HAHA!! God is fucking with our mortal posts. HA!!
Ben,
I’d say since Smoggy specified the two posters that he is indeed at least one of them. Especially since I don’t believe anybody thought he was Bei.
Ben and Nun -
I can confirm that Smoggy is neither Bei Shun or Cronyn. They are all different humans from vastly different parts of the world.
Dear God,
It’s “Bei Shen”, not “Bei Shun”. “Bei Shen” means the Great and Glorious Fist of the Northstar. “Bei Shun” sounds like someone who masterbates to the sound of sheep howling.
GOD PLAYS FAVORITES AND IT SUCKS SHEEP TIT.
PS: I just had Bei Shen for dinner. Carry out. It’s some kind of deep-fried mutton with a few NEW ZEALANDER fingers in the mix. Basically fondue.
For all his faults, Smoggy knows how to spell masturbate. And how to do it too.
Yo- nice G&S reference! Loved it!
Smoggy- you want me and you know it. baaahhhh.
Anne- I want your lunch. Give it to me, baby.
Ben - shut up.
Cracka - fuck off and get your weekend drunk on.
Nun - it’s time to do your hair, put that thing away!
Bridgette - Him bless your fattitude.
Josh - I want to have your next ching chong baby minus the afro.
God- please smite my lunch ladies. They make us eat cheesy soup (basically fondue). Do I have to wait 40 years like your chosen ones?!?
‘night internuts - Him how I love you.
GOD IS GREAT !
ans smoggy is HIS prophet
You bet I know how to masturbate Annie (you unreformed satyrooter)–you don’t think that’s snow covering the southern alps do you?
Nun– I heard you moaning from across the equator. Drowned anyone in cumjuice river yet? (it just keeps rollin)
Ben — I’m just me (Basted Hen is an illiterate tit of the North, you can call him Nanook). All my alts died in a blizzard and the poem wrote itself.
Curtis, of course I want you. You’re my first choice after sheep.
Now fuck off y’all and lick obamabottom—it’s mid-summer here (30 degrees C three days running) and I’ve got better things to do than insult you butt-ends.
This is where the sheep and I spent Christmas: http://www.alpinesprings.co.nz/pages/33/hot-pools.htm
I don’t know about anybody else but I don’t want to lick obamabottom. I’d so totally suck his dick though. Fuckhole.
Nun, please don’t intern at the White House! If a president gets his cock sucked, it leads to eight years of bad luck!
God, what is your thoughts on this?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2009/jan/23/pope-youtube-channel
Why is the Pope such a coward that he won’t even allow comments and ratings on his videos?
Hey God,
I can’t believe it took me this long to think about it but where’s “Blasphemous Rumours” on Your list of songs?
God, you haven’t assigned a song to me! I like “Born to Be Wild.”
Do you see? I’m not the only one who knows Obama is a pervert!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neCIg0BiXbE&
Dear God,
After last night’s address to congress, I’m sorry to disagree with You on this post. Of course, I am agreeing with Your previous post on liking Obama, so I suppose I’m not really disagreeing with You! Thank God for Obama!
oh shit, you’re gonna get it! smited, that is.
this made me chuckle:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-majority-of-government-doesnt-trust-citizen,17459/
“One typical respondent, President Barack Obama, said he found it hard to trust the judgment of U.S. citizens after recent events, including their decision to elect a president who promised health care reform and then come out against health care reform.”