Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
I AM SO MAD! Something has happened that cannot be allowed to stand:
Survey: Simon Cowell More Famous Than God
What a load of blasphemous bullshit!
NO ONE IS MORE FAMOUS THAN GOD!
Especially not that limey pig-twat Simon Cowell! He’s an egomaniacal jackhole and he makes his living intimidating and threatening people. I don’t tolerate such vile behavior, and if any of you ever act like him I promise I will turn you and everyone you love into volcanic ash.
I don’t know who I should blame more for this atrocity! Cowell? The parents? The children? As such, I have decided that the entire country must be smote and smote hard. Thus I have stricken Britania down with one of My favorite projectile vomiting smites:
If all goes well, all the children who voted Cowell more famous than Me will die before Christmas. As for Cowell himself, My punishment for him will not be ornate or complicated. He is not deserving of such effort. I will merely have one of the jilted freaks he insulted on his show come back to cut out his tongue and then let him live. Let’s see how famous he is after that.
I know, I know, I’m letting them all get off light, but it’s the Christmas Season, and I’m feeling merciful.
Foppl's Siege Party on 
Ben on 
Nun Ur Damned Bizness on 
Milford on 
hmph on 
Naytheist on 
that’s mean God. I take it you’ve never been projectile vomited on before. sounds like you’re just jealous.
I bet Simon has rectal cancer. That’s why he’s such an asshole to everyone (no pun intended). If I had cancer in my ass, I’d be a little irritable too. As far as the popularity thing, that’s just a load of crap.
I’m glad You’re taking it a little easy on Your Brits, God. They have really cool accents.
And I really hope You come through on that snow smite that was promised to us, God. They closed the schools because they fear Your wrath but so far, no snow. My little loser of a child is going to be so bummed if he has to stay home from school and there’s no snow.
the Lord is truly just.
fuck your stupid loser kid, nun. if he wasn’t such a loser he wouldn’t whine about snowless snow days because he’d be busy WINNING for God!!!
any school that closes because they are afraid it might snow is a school that teaches the art of being a loser.
“Oh i quit the game because I thought we might lose.”
“Well done Johnson, that’s how we do it at Suck Ass Elementary”
Stupid school and the stupid board of ed that runs it.
God,
Didn’t You already smit Simon Cowell with man tits and the ablilty to buy a shirt other than a cotton t that would showcase such titties? That was You right?
God, thank you for smiting the stupid foppy british. also, way to photoshop ‘no vacancy’ on the picture up there. don’t think i didn’t notice. i also like the tiny picture of cowell. man that guy sure is a douche.
FUCK! I totally forgot to capitalize for You in my last post God. please forgive me.
You are letting Simon off way too easy, Jealous. He would make a really good example of Your maximum smiting abilities. Do a Job job on him, let him wander around in rags, covered in pustules. And projectile vomit.
Oh, from where I’m sitting at the Vo-Tech I can hear bells from the Catholic church next door! Ah, sappy hymn music. Smite Simon by making him listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for eternity!
Slow day today? Where is everyone? Vomiting up their breakfast?
Anne,
Learn you Bible! God did not smite Job, Satan did. God merely allowed it to happen in order to let Job’s faith be tested and to prove a point to Satan. It was a gentleman’s bet, one in which a man’s whole family and his servants where killed. God is Love!!!!
One could say that the story of Job was the frame work for a movie known as Trading Places.
Lucier, as Ryan Seacrest: “And now, on American Idol, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sings Shwayze’s hit - ‘Corona and Lime’. “
I was wondering that myself yoyo. what should we talk about today? something substantive such as politics and religion? or should we trade witty rejoinders?
Josh, Trading Places = classic. My favorite moment is when Eddie Murphy just looks at the camera when the old white guy is explaining pork barrels to him.
Ben, here’s my list of Things Not to Talk About Today:
Nun’s cavernous Vaginistan
Cracka’s MicroSofty
Smoggy’s lovelife.
Any other suggestions?
BTW, we know God is on His Throne, Josh has a dayjob in publishing, I’m in IT, Nun won’t tell, Anne is a substitute teacher, cracka works at some kind of medical place, as does Curtis, and Smoggy corks sheep.
What do you do, Ben?
You’re right ‘K the Kat’–God is a “atate of mind”–’atate’ being an archaic middle-eastern word meaning “the grand designer, creator, facilitator and destroyer”. And we’re talking about everything, not just a puny mind like yours, but the ATATE of all Creation. Of course, God has a particular divine preoccupation with what humans do with their genitals. You might think there’s no correlation between creating the Crab Nebula and cracka’s tiny penis, or surfing the event horizon of the universe’s largest black hole and which of nun’s tits is biggest, or the mind boggling expansion of the big bang compared to what gets stuck up Curtis’s bottom–BUT YOU ARE NOT GOD!!! What petty mortal with smelly sex organs can ever understand the ways of the Deity?
I’m a world class movie actor.
K the Kat, i tried to do the “maths”, but could only find but one math to do. i failed you. on purpose. fuck you. fuck american idol. why don’t you try listening to music that doesn’t suck total goat ass for a while? then try watching american idol again after you are no longer an idiot. you will find it vile and repugnant and you will do the maths. the maths will not do you.
Rearrange “world class movie actor” and you get “a scarecrows doll vomit”
scarecrow doll vomit.
that’s what i’m calling my next band, smoggy. it will be a terrible band.
blackjack!!
You called? what up?
perfect band name cracka–you can wear straw in your hair and puke on the punters. consider it my gift to you–but if you go big I want a free admission to a concert (back row)
yeah, i just wanted to tell you to shut up.
Yes massah? You want me to service you again?
smoggy, if i go big you get free admission to sheep genitals for life.
I’ve got lifetime sheep genitals already. But…know what? I’m missing all those nude Scullys–never thought I’d say that.
who wouldn’t?
she’s mysterious and pretty and sexually repressed.
mandingo, i want you to get the car ready. we’re going to kidnap gillian anderson for smoggy.
yes massah…right away massah.
then do you want to be serviced, massah?
With photoshopped pud
You too can be Mandingo
Dither those jaggies
massah him say that
mandingo got the biggest
him ever had up
“Rearrange “world class movie actor” and you get “a scarecrows doll vomit””
Once again, we ‘bring up’ vomit.
On another note, only someone with connexions to the United Kingdom would say ‘do the maths’…who do we know like that…
Dat wuz me, BTW.
Cracka, if you want Gillian Anderson, she’s chained up in my basement. Shut the lights out when you leave.
I always thought’ do the maths’ was an Americanism, like ‘in back’ and ‘burglarize’. NZ has some sickening British inheritances, but do the maths isn’t one–oh wait, are you talking about the ’s’?
UK = do the maths
US = do the math
NZ = can’t you count, fuckwit?
‘in back’ and ‘burglarize’?
Yes–I’ve often heard Americans say that something is ‘in back and they’ll have to go and fetch it, or get ‘in back’. We’d say, ‘it is out the back’ or get “in the back”. Don’t mean to generalise here–it may be a regional thing. As for ‘burglarize’–it’s a word NZers never use, but I’ve heard it from a number of Americans (the house was burglarized VS the house was burgled). Apologies if I’m using too broad a brush.
One I’ve noticed (and it may not apply to NZ) is ‘in hospital’, as in ‘He got hurt and is in hospital’. We’d say ‘in the hospital’.
Oddly, we say ‘in school’, rather than ‘in the school.
We usually say ‘robbed’, but burglarized is used, and I’ve never seen ‘burgled’ - sounds like something at McDonald’s.
Americans say a lot of things!
well uh… a lot of dumb things…
shut up ben
You’ve got no monopoly on dumb things…you’re even about to get an articulate leader. Unlike NZers who have just elected some half-brained, right wing dipshits.
“half-brained, right wing dipshits’
That was redundant.
i like to laminate my insults
laminate massah batzrubbly?
Yes, mandingo…
laminate — “To make by uniting several layers.”
y’all sahnds like a whanka, massah batsrubbly
Well diagnosed Mandingo–Batzrubble is indeed a wanker with a multiple personality disorder
FUCK…
OFF…
BEN!
Easy down laddies, no need to go all doolally.
gasp… pant… can’t breathe… need … air
Gillian Anderson is not in Yo’s basement. She’s in mine, smoking massive amounts of God’s blessed chiba. I’m protecting her from all you perverted maniacs that want to do disgusting things with her body. She’s a brand new mother and deserves respect, you nasty little fuckwits.
Ben,
You probably shouldn’t claim to be a world class movie actor. You were overrated and people saw through your cuteness when you hooked up with J-Lo. Now you’re nothing more than the father of a really cute kid. Sorry, bud.
Nun, YOU are in my basement, too.
It’s really big.
Smoggy, take a fuckin pill! Your multiple personalities are like a cancer spreading across the thread!
The difference between being robbed and being burglarized is that when you’re robbed, someone holds a gun to you and demands your stuff. When you’re burglarized, it happens while you’re not home.
Nun, are you there? We’ve got a new substitute teacher at the Vo-Tech! He’s to die for! When I asked him what he did before teaching he said, “Law enforcement.”
Shut up, Cracka. I can hear you getting ready to say he was a mall cop. NOT!
Cops get the best dope.
Not a mall cop - security at the bus station.
And I’m not in Yo’s basement. I’m sitting here while my loser kid watches Polar Express and I curse the school for closing when there’s NO FUCKING SNOW!!
My basement has the entire Pac Northwest contained with its walls.
It’s like the TARDIS - bigger on the inside than the outside.
Nun … here’s some snow for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckfuvEnnbsc&eurl=http://lj-toys.com/
We’ve got five inches of snow today and more on the way - school didn’t close.
“bigger on the inside than the outside”
sounds like nun’s vajayjay
Baal - must have been a cold day in teh video - ‘her’ boobs fell off.
26 degrees C here today (can’t be bothered converting it to F for you backward fucks). The forecast is for ‘Perfect’!
‘Strewth, Smoggy, except my cellar, whilst it dark, is dry, and cool.
does your cellar smell of anchovies?
One of the cats is senile, and has forgotten where the litter box sits, but no, no anchovies.
no anchovies? You’re right then–it’s nothing like nun’s tardis
Yo,
You’ve got a cat that shits and pisses wherever he chooses in your basement and that’s where you wanted to lock up Gillian Anderson with no chance of escape? You’re one sick puppy, Yo. If Gillian Anderson ever reads this blog then she probably hates you.
Nun, they do that school closed shit around here too. The minute one flake actually hits the ground and sticks, all bets are off.
Smoggy. Can I measure you for a custom-tailored tuxedo?
I’d rather lock Smoggy in Yo Yo’s basement, provided Ms. Anderson is not there.
My basement has similar cat issues, but I have a strict policy against allowing New Zealanders into my home.
“I have a strict policy against allowing New Zealanders into my home.”
Me too… I hate the fuckers!!!!
Damned straight, Nun! I shovel it up, once in awhile, and sell it as ‘free range’ cat manure.
Cats do what cats do, Yo. That’s just how they roll. But to force Gillian Anderson to endure such torture is simply heartless. It doesn’t help that she’s allergic to cats and you’d end up killing her. Is that really what you want, Yo? To be responsible for the death of Scully? Do you really want X-Files fans tracking you down to perform their own torture on you? Trust me, X-Files fans can be a wacko bunch and you don’t want them pissed at you.
Hey - I left a bottle of Benadryl almost within reach!
Besides, no cat dander can get into the rubber suit.
I’m going to send your name and address to some of my more irrational fellow philes. You don’t even know what pain and psychosis is, yet. But you will, oh yes, you will.
Naaaa … I’ll just start some Internet rumour about Greys living in my attic or something, the nutters will flee, squealing like Smoggy’s sheep during an orgy.
Or tell ‘em she’s living in cracka’s house.
The nutters like Greys. Silly Yo.
I can’t understand how this awful puking virus has spread all over Great Britain and hasn’t come to America. Makes me wonder if Godawful doesn’t really smite after all.
Hmmm…then the Cigarette Smoking Man is watching, and frwoning at them.
Anne, it just hasn’t hit yet. God’s mills grind slow, and they grind fine.
The only time I like to projectile vomit is when I’ve had too much booze. If it’s a virus, it sucks.
I guess I aged out of that ‘liking to projectile vomit’ thingy.
I don’t know what “frwoning” is, Yo but the CSM worked with the Greys so he probably won’t mind too much if Philes like them.
vomitting only feels good when it’s induced by the intravenous injection of opiates. at least, that’s what God told me.
Well, whoever is anathema to these people - my trench is almost full of the other people who wandered across my lawn.
You’re like that family in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, aren’t you, Yo?
“I can’t understand how this awful puking virus has spread all over Great Britain and hasn’t come to America. Makes me wonder if Godawful doesn’t really smite after all.”
C’mon paganannie–God’s been smiting you for the last eight years: Bush, 9/11, Bush, Cheney, Bush, Giuliani, Afghanistan, Irag, Bush, Fox News, Evangelical Christians, Iraq, Palin, Bush, Cheney, Creation Museum, Iraq, and now a fucking huge economic meltdown. He’s softened you up, he’s giving you a rest, and then it’s time for the final whammo–ebola, necrotizing faciitis, bird flu, swine flu, bubonic plague, nukes, uncontrollable acceleration in the global warming feedback loop, and Ann Coulter.
You’ll pray for a kindly dose of norovirus.
I, however, will most likely receive an agricultural smite: hydatids cysts and foot and mouth disease.
Oh no, Cracka. I was just there, right after Labor Day. It was the worst smite ever! I still get queasy when I say the word “Dilaudid.” And while I enjoyed the recreational use of the prescription Valium, the Darvocets are still down in the cupboard, waiting for (I hope) a burglar and not a robber.
The best projectile vomiting is done by Mr Creosote in Monty Python’s ‘The Meaning of Life”
Let’s all sing “Every Sperm is Sacred”
Altogether now…
101
I have yet to projectile vomit while listening to Ann Coulter, but I haven’t ruled it out.
Smoggy. Go stand between me and Ann Coulter. Ask her what’s wrong with America. Thank you.
In case you don’t know the words:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeLv6g8ioZw
I thought it was Corporal Clitoris in ‘Monty Python Live’. (For those of you watching this transcript on your terminal, the young constable has just thrown up into his helmet. This is the longest continuous vomit seen on Broadway since John Barrymore puked over Laertes in the second act of Hamlet in 1941.)
I’d go and stand near Ann Coulter, but my toxic poison radiation loony protection suit has a hole in it (right by my bottom)
Yo…you’re a theatre connoisseur, I had no idea. Truly thou art an autodidact of formidable parts.
Sorry to point this out to you, Smoggy, but your toxic poison radiation loony protection suit is not protecting you, because the biggest loony it’s likely to detect is the guy wearing it.
As usual, paganannie, you misread. The suit is to protect loonies (me) from toxic poison radiators (coulter).
All this talk of vomiting and toxic poisoning reminds me that I have to toddle off and make dinner. And buy some gin. Not necessarily in that order.
Ta ta for now, pukes!
“Truly thou art an autodidact of formidable parts.”
Funny, that’s what my wife said, in the bedroom, last night.
that was a long buildup for a letdown of a punchline, johnson.
i disapprove!!!
your wife has a dirty, dirty mind, yo. congratulations.
and did you remember to change the batteries in the autodidact?
’s one of the reasons I married her!
Nun has a huge collection of autodidacts. But too much weed has number her pleasure centers and she now uses them for mixing drinks.
Think I’ll go and have lunch out in the sun again. Hot enough for a beer–will have to sleep at desk this afternoon.
Smoggy, it’s powered by a small, high-revolution flywheel: You just pull the starter cord out, then hold on with both hands as it spins up to 12,000RPM (that’s 12,000RPM, in Metric).
is it ever too cold for beer? i don’t think so.
fuck it.
i’m getting drunk.
shut up, ben.
fuck off, nun.
(that’s fuck off, smoggy, in metric)
Wow…serious multiple orgasms…
Why God? Why? If You hate women so much, why did You give them the gift of multiple orgasms?
Because we’re so stupid, Smog. He through us a Divine Bone.
err… threw. Shit. I pulled a Josh.
And he threw Mary a Divine Boner.
(Did HMMOG mention whether she climaxed at the immaculate conception?)
She didn’t but I suspect not as She seemed less than thrilled about Her encounter with Divine Penis.
That’s the problem when you’ve been single as long as His Smitingness has been–you forget you need to pleasure the other partner as well. Still, I doubt sex out of wedlock with an underage virgin is ever that great.
Smoggy said: “Still, I doubt sex out of wedlock with an underage virgin is ever that great.”
Smoggy, I don’t think you know how to be a man.
ironic humour nun…hence the eyeroll
#115: Why would Nun want to number her pleasure centers? They are infinite!
What did my 14-year-old loser of a spoiled princess do to this computer now? It’s making every noise an unhappy computer can make.
numbed! numbed! everyone else got it!
I hope your computer projectile vomits on you.
Hey Benny–you’re bottom disciple again, and that’s without counting Smogfreud and Mandingo. You shouldn’t shut up just because people tell you to.
eh, I never shutup because people tell me to. I just get busy and have a lot of other things to do while I’m busy saving America and being an awesome father and actor. I’m content to be #7. that’s a lucky and some would say heavenly number. it means I’m God’s favorite.
i wonder when God is going to get what he deserves…..well I know what I think he deserves.
what does you think?
I think you should shut up
no really, i don’t mean it in a bad way. i mean it in a good way. like i think GOD deserves a book deal.
or I think God deserves to be free of sheep fucking freaks
who have crazy teeth and eyes
The Simon Cowell not being famous without a tongue whatchamacallit is a load of BULLSHIT!!!!!!!
You should be smiting Mark Ronson instead.
oh, crap, it’s THAT guy again.
who the hell is mark ronson?
you’re dumb, shake
mark ronson is the guy that fucks shake’s mom really hard, deep and often. he’s also shake’s brother…and dad.
Good morning all, shut up ben
I see that Las Vegas had snowfall - an unusual event.
Bookies were confused when the weatherman said “snow, 2-5″, they thought it was the odds.
what’s the over-under on that?
The spread was 3, I lost a dollar on the outcome.
Can you have an over/under with only one team (snow)?
Check this out:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7789346.stm
Nobody gives a fuck.
Cowell should be azz raped by demons. Or given a light-saber enema. Callous twit.
yeah, she sure showed them
hey Ben,
You owe me $20. I took my girlfriend to see “Paycheck” in the movies. YOU also owe me $4.95 for my blockbuster rental of “Dare Devil”. If you send me cash I’ll let your wife slide for all the shit she’s done like “Elektra”
Josh
PS - it’s not th eidle people that should be blamed it’s the fans that lap that crap up. If they stopped watching the show would change, and it they still did not tune in the show would go away.
Him Damn it!!!!! That was me!
Mark this day in your calendar Ben … I agree with you! God needs a new book–a best-selling Third Testament bringing the Bible up to the modern age, instructing us on how to live in a digital, high tech world populated by second rate actors. I’ll be glad to help him write it
–God is Great! And Smoggy is His prophet!
Now shut up!
Smoggy, I want to be in charge of merchandising - I see major profits from the prophets.
I don’t watch American Idol - I’m not an idle American.
Indeed Yo–the money to be made out of religious merchandising makes Disney look pathetic. And in these times of failing economies and over-heating planets the bewildered sheeple will looking harder for faith-based bailouts. The Church LOVES a crisis, the only thing better than getting hold of a child, is getting hold of an adult who has seen their whole life crumble around them. Christians for Lehmann Brothers unite! Don’t believe me? Read this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/14/nyregion/14churches.html?_r=2&th=&emc=th&pagewanted=all
In my opinion, God should sweep these charlatans aside and take full personal control of Religion Inc. Why He works through middle-men beats me. Then again–I’ve never understood why the Smightingest Creator of the Multiverse should need our pathetic little earnings anyway. Why doesn’t he magic out a few million diamonds for himself?
calendar is marked. that sounds like a good idea, the bible is definitely in need of an update.
Wahoo! I’m under Nun!
American Idol is evil. All reality programming is evil. Except celebreality… that’s just pathetic and makes me feel bad for those actor types who can’t accept that nobody cares about them anymore.
Coreys, I’m talking about you.
I wish Baal would talk more, I want him to be under me. Especially when he posts as the cutie from Stargate.
Oh yeah… thanks, God for delaying that snow smite. I really appreciate it as salaried employees in my state are not required to be paid for weather related absences and with the economy smite you’ve got going on, my boss will not be paying for snow days. I’m so happy I’ve lost at least two days of pay right before Christmas and my son’s birthday. Great timing, God!
If God really wanted to show how powerful He is, He would restore all those fatcat bankers to their hedge funds and let them keep fleecing. Instead they’re all crawling into evangelical churches, praying for new jobs.
Smite ‘em, God. They only call on you when they need something.
Nun, my tongue is eight inches long and has a vibrating function. Still want Baal under you?
I’m gonna keep talking until I’m on top!
Made it Ma, top of the world! (Points to whoever knows the source of the quote)
cody jarrett in white heat
God’s planning to snow smite my Druid ritual on Sunday. It’s held way out in the woods, far, far away from anyone’s house. None of us will dare fight the weather to get there.
Stop being jealous, Jealous! There are probably only a couple thousand Druids in America! Go snow smite someone else (who doesn’t live in the Pacific Northwest).
I like being wedged between Cracka and Josh. One thinks I’m dippy and the other one thinks I’m old.
Well, they both probably think I’m dippy and old.
Smog,
You suffer from multiple personality disorder, now known as dissociative identity disorder, and you’re certifiable. You also are a whore who likes to charge for sex. I’ll stick with Baal. Thanks for your question.
Smoggy must be old too if he’s seen “White Heat.”
snow smite minnesota. we don’t even notice anymore. i’ll trade you one snow smite for one football blessing. the only run stopping nose tackle that could replace an injured pat williams against the league’s number one rushing attack? GOD!!!
buzz … slurp … buzz … slurp
Eight inch tongue with a vibrating function? Active imagination, Smoggy. You should get out more.
Geez, Smog in Noir, I didn’t know you see 1940’s film noir in NZ!
And you get the points.
Paganannie: “You should get it out more.”
That’s what they all say anne–you naughty cock-hound!
Cracka, can you imagine how smart everyone in Minnesota would be if they closed school there every time it snows?
We’re sixty years behind the rest of the world Yo Mama–forties films are big here.
One of our local film makers has just made King Kong. Than he discovered it had been done overseas decades earlier.
He did a good Kong but all those CGI dinos dying made me sad. Kong dying made me sad too. Now I’m depressed. Thanks a lot, Smog.
Mandingo have nickel…want pay nun to hide stiffy. Only 13 inches, but hard like axe handle
I think Mandingo knows how to cheer you up nun. I hear he’s got a joint it would take a whole convent to blow.
13 inches… too beaucoup.
13 inches too much?
Surely not for tardis twat!
mandingo wish had big cock like smoggy
Obviously you never paid attention when I was talking about the guy with the foot long cock. That doesn’t really surprise me though. Even if you had paid attention, the chances are nil that you would have actually been able to comprehend the words.
Smoggy, I said you ought to get OUT, not get IT OUT. Horny retard.
mandingo think annedruid make parapraxis
Mandingo, why do you sound like the Hulk?
God damn stereotype humor.
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1892552
What’s a parapraxis manny?
A parapraxis is a Freudian slip
parapraxis = 2 praxis (praxi?)
what a freudian slip? something like underwear?
hulk him my cousin Tjosh
I think it’s time to kill you off manny–you’re getting too cute, people are starting to talk to you…you know the rules
I say kill the Kiwi, and let Mandingo live!
yes massah yo yo… pretty massah yo yo… kind massah yo yo … kill kiwi smoggy massa … we loves massah … master yo yo is our friend … we loves him precious
Kind Master Yo Yo can always trust Mandingollum … can’t he precious?
Smoggy’s not secretly Peter Jackson is he?
Enough talk! Manny, take the Rolls to Habisher-Fitz (bespoke to Royals) and pick up my supplies, they should be ready. We leave for deepest, darkest Africa tomorrow at 4 Ack Emma.
I’m only taking the necessities - linens, Waterford crystal, and my blonde curvy sec’retry, Miss Belfridge.
What ho, chaps!
Yes massah… Miss Belfridge anagram for Gerbil Fed. Very heavy carry.
Die mandingo!
Mandingo is no more AmericANUSES…and nor am I (for now). Farewell losers.
Bad show, Smoggy, old beast. Mandingo’s the best batboy I’ve had since the Great War. Keeps the bar stocked and the guns clean. And the All Rounder in the Near East.
Mandingo, aim a beamer at Soggy.
well, that was weird.
That was really weird. It was a little retarded as well.
Made me glad to be out in the New Jersey traffic.
What the fuck was that about?
Ben, even your dad says Casey is a better actor and person than you are. And when he and Summer were getting married here in Savannah, you made a name for yourself as the Worlds Biggest Douche.
Casey, his wife and your dad is still welcome here though.
“are”
Still need to work on my editing skills
Cold CtJ. Very cold. Where’s the forgiveness? Where’s the tolerance for an actor gone bad (or in Ben’s case gone worse)? Don’t worry Benny–there’s space in Smoggy’s heart for forgiveness.
——
Now listen posters and lurkers. I believe that with God’s divine guidance we could be the source of a new Third Testament of the Bible for the digital age [Old Testament, New Testament, Digital Testament]. So, if you feel, at any stage, that the Lord has inspired you with a verse, post it here and I will compile it. As we build up the testament I’ll send extracts to God for approval or editing. As it’s the digital testament, probably two books will be do to kick off with. God told me in a dream that the first book will be called ‘The Book of Dos’. Has God inspired anyone with either a verse for ‘the Book of Dos’ or the name of the second book?
FAQ: How will I know my verse is from God?
ANSWER: It will usually deal with one of the topics God hates and it will have an unusually heavy emphasis on sexual deviance.
God appeared to me in a dream and told me you’re a retard.
FACE!
Ben, whatever happened to you shutting up?
Uppity, since you’ve been living in a rubbish bin this previous year, he’s the fuckwit whose been letting Amy Winehouse have a record deal after he made a pact with Satanus.
Oh, and shut up uppity. No wonder you’ve turned this blog into a broken toilet that’s full of diarrhea.
Never should have bought
CD by Amy Winehouse
Jammed up my boombox
Nun, God appeared to me in person and told me you’re frigid.
Amy Winehouse is one of God’s best smites–serves any fucker right who listens to her.
winehouse smite!!!
shake…”broken toilet that’s full of diarrhea.”
book of dos v1-
“and, verily, the Lord spake and the earth trembled and shake was not funny.”
Hey God! There’s a crack in your perfection. It’s Britannia with two ‘n’s, not one.
And there’s one inch in your willy, Willy, not two.