Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to receive the Word of God, as written by your Lord and Savior, The Prince of Peace: Jesus The Christ.
Hey guys and gals! It’s been a while since I posted here, but I’ve been in deep trauma psycho-therapy recovering from a brutal string of ass-rapings I received during Satan’s recent invasion of Heaven. As you might imagine, I’ve been feeling a little down about the whole thing. So as part of my recovery process, my therapist and my Dad both suggested I vent some anger. So here goes.
You know what I really hate? Getting raped in the ass by Satan because my Dad is an alcoholic drug addict. There, I feel so much better and I’m sure my scream-filled nightmares will stop. Are you happy now Father?
But anyway, I digress. What I actually wanted to talk about today was a group of people I loathe: dirty redskinned Injun savages. Or as you politically correct pansies call them, “Native Americans.”
I didn’t want to hate the Redman. I wanted to love them. This is why, as it is described in the Book of Mormon, I came to Ancient America after I was crucified. I wanted to share my words of love with all of mankind, even those born on the wrong side of the Atlantic.
But what did those ungrateful savages do when I showed up? They freaked the fudge out! They didn’t even give me a chance to speak! They just threw a tomahawk into the back of my skull! I mean, seriously! What the F, man?!
I first appeared to speak to the Aztecs. They just saw my creamy white skin, my shimmering blue eyes and my gorgeous locks of blonde hair and immediately brought me to the top of their sacrifice temple and decapitated me in front of thousands of screaming people. What a waste of a death! Not one of those savage heathens even knew I’d died for their sins.
Next I came back and reappeared to a tribe of Iroquois in North America. Before I’d uttered five words they had already set about scalping me. Next thing I knew I was watching some ugly Injun chow down on my still-beating heart.
So next I thought I’d try a tribe of Cherokee, who I’d heard from some Angel friends were relatively peaceful. Those redskin bastards danced around my burning carcass for hours, singing and whooping the whole time.
Long story short, I had to reappear like 13 times before I found a Injun tribe docile enough to at least let me get my message of love out before clubbing me upside the head and skinning me alive.
After that I just kinda gave up on spreading my message of redemption and hope to Injuns. When I returned to Heaven, I made Dad promise me he would wipe the scourge of the redman from the earth. In time Father fulfilled his promise to me, through disease and modern weaponry - ironically through the very people smart enough to follow us (the white man).
These days, the once proud redskins of the Americas have been humbled to casino duty. And being alcoholic drug addicts. And hunting the wild white guilt for its precious hide.
Still, all that being said, next to the Angels, I have to say my favorite sports teams are the Washington Redksins, but only because it pisses stupid Injuns off so much. Go Redskins!
Ralph on 
freebiesss on 
TheEvilOverlord on 
God on 
Craig on 
samanta on 
ShunRenHu on 
Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to all our American readers. Before you eat your turkey, remember to get on your knees and thank God and me for wiping out all the ignorant savages from your land.
[...] post by Stuff God Hates 24 November 2008 in Casino Orleans [...]
Thanks for nothing, punk.
Fucking stupid Christians have made pretty much a mess of everything they touch, but they think it’s OK as long as they pray to your old man for forgiveness, or cough up a few bucks for the local church racket. And they always seem to think they get a free pass by using your name whenever possible.
What they should do is call the next big holiday Hategiving Day, when true believers go out and celebrate the dogma of Christianity by being really, really cruel to chumps who don’t toe the line … Injuns, Chinks, Fags, Pagans, Jews, Muslims, New Agers, and anyone else who doesn’t kiss your sorry ass.
I remember when I was single (before I married The Almost Perfect Woman). I couldn’t get home, was new to town, so had no friends, and had Thanksgiving alone.
I fixed stuffing (StoveTop), mashed potatoes (from potato flakes), turkey (from a Hormel meal-pak), gravy (bottled, just add water, stir, and serve), squash (canned), and for dessert, Punkin’ Pie (Tabletop mini) with Cool-Whip.
And hey, I didn’t stint, just because I was alone. I used the stove, not, the microwave.
Treat yourself right, I say.
yoyo-that story is….is……a story.
i can’t believe that us crackas left so many stupid, ugly, wrong-colored injuns running around in this country! man, did we fuck up!!! well, no more. i’m going to finish what we started. you better watch your back, lou diamond phillips!!!!!!!!
If it weren’t for smallpox, we’d all be worshipping Quetzalcoatyl, cuz the Aztecs would eventually have “discovered” Europe and whupped our white asses. We’d be living on reservations in the Carpathian Mountains, dying of syphilis.
Anne, your assertions are completely delusional. at their rate of scientific progress, it would have taken the Aztecs another 2 to 3,000 years to discover Europe, and even then they never would have had the necessary forces to defeat the many civilizations there.
it is amusing to see how consistently infatuated academics are with martyred primitive cultures.
“academics”-hahaha.
you’re my kind of honky, roark. smite some academics for God today, my brother.
Historian FACE!!!
also, i think johnson was using hyperbole in some sort of nerdy attempt at humor. aztecs conquering europe?! ridiculous!! so ridiculous it’s hilarious in a nerdy, nerdy way.
first ever history FACE!
it’s lacks the showbiz sheen of a penis smite, but it has its own understated charm.
God,
please smite lou diamond phillips.
thank You, Sir.
Your servant,
-uppity (of the very people smart enough to follow You [the white man]) cracka
has anyone else noticed how the ads seem to be directed towards us personally?
“inter-racial dating”-nun
“x files merchandise”-nun
“christian drug treatment”-me and johnson
yeah Cracka I’ve notice that, because that’s how Google Ads work! They pick out key words fro mteh comments and blog and then match up ads with related topics. Get it together cracka and learn hwo the machine you whities built works!!!
Why smit Lou Diamond Philipino? He was in young guns 1 and 2, I mean spirit walkign and everything. plus he got the answers from the mailman, he rotting in his lockeeerrrrrr.
Josh, you heathen! God hand-picked those ads just for us. That’s direct love from God!
And damn You, Jesus! Damn You!! Because of Your love for those filthy Redskins, they won yesterday. Beating my most beloved team. I realize that Jim Zorn, coach of Your beloved Redskins, loves You dearly but so does Matt Hasselbeck. Damn it!!
josh, it’s not keywords, okay? it’s God’s love and esoteric marketing abilities. fuck. got it, “negro?”
maybe you guys are right, because no one mentioned pizza and now we have an ad for it. I stand corrected.
pizza FACE!
Whenever I look at the ads on the sidebar, I’m full of so much love for God. God wants me to date black men and buy more X-Files stuff. He even posted a link to find Gillian Anderson pictures for all you perverts.
Josh,
I saw the South Park with the takeoff on Ocean’s 11, 12 & 13.
did you get my email Nun about X file dvds?
It doesn’t take a nerd to know how kick-ass the Aztecs and the Incas were. God smote the entire Western Hemisphere with smallpox so that the very stupidest, loser white people could move here, drag over the most luckless black people, and grab the prime real estate. No fuckin way that would have happened without SMALLPOX. Which is why God doesn’t hate smallpox. He loves it! He’s saving it for another apocalypse down the road.
Regarding drug use, the day after Thanksgiving I plan to go cold turkey.
bam!! now that’s what i call a punchline! (nerd)
I did, Josh and it’s going to sound weird and downright un-American but I’d prefer that FOX actually knows that people are buying the DVDs. Besides, I’m so anal about my X-Files collection that Asian knock-offs or burns need not apply, they won’t look perfect with the rest of my collection.
And, when the doctor said I didn’t have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.
shut up, ben.
Since God’s and Alcoholic/Addict, who would be his higher power in a 12 step group?
//takers?
His
I’d do it but we’d get kicked out of the 12 step group for always being high.
Cracka, you are correct, it is just a story. My wife isn’t almost perfect.
Regarding Incas/Europeans: We had gunpowder. Navies. We fought for personal gain, loot, land.
We’d have still kicked their azztecs back to the the New World.
Unfair! I see no adverts aimed at me. Where’s the Centrum Silver or Metamucil ads?
Maybe God is an X-Files fan too. It is quality entertainment.
packers suck.
now………………..fuck off.
Wait wait, Yo Yo! The fight wasn’t fair. If three boats of Aztecs had arrived in Spain with some beads and a deadly contagious disease that kills 95 percent of people with no immunity to it, they sure as shit would have conquered Europe.
In the absence of Smoggy, I must assume the position of chief nerd.
Why are you bloviating, cracka? The Vikes won.
Fuck all you bastards with your winning football teams. Fuck you all!!
If the Azztecs had the technology, carried smallpox, had the superior science and engineering, well, of course they’d win!
Smoggy is in jail, due to his sheep-corking hobby.
Apparently, he wasn’t meeting his quota.
Anne, I really enjoy ‘alternate history’ science fiction stories. There’s one called ‘Custer’s Last Jump’ - what if the biplane had been developed in time to play a part in the pacification wars after the Civil War? And Custer was a paratrooper?
Alternate Generals is a good series, too.
Harry Turtledove has some great stuff regarding who won the Civil War.
Nun said: “Fuck you all!!”
Now you are teasing us.
William Forstchen and Newt Gingrich wrote an interesting alternate history series on the Civil War, too.
Nun might have a tough Thanksgiving. The Hawks have to play Dallas in Dallas. That sucks burro balls.
Did Newt Gingrich write an alternate history where he wasn’t retarded?
Anne said: “Nun might have a tough Thanksgiving. The Hawks have to play Dallas in Dallas.”
:Nun quietly sobs:
Poor, poor Nun.
I like the Jets.
Vroom! Vroom! VROOOOOOOOMMM!!
And the Titans when you’re lying.
did you guys see CSA? Hilarious.
Ben how do you change your picture? I can’t do it. You truly are God’s favorite.
New Heroes tonight!!!
I never said I like the Titans. I said like the Jets better when they wear their old Titans uniforms. They’re ugly but they play gooder.
I use gravatar.com. How do you do your picture?
You can change your picture there to match your email and then refresh your cache and you should see the new one after like 15 minutes.
I wonder how Curtis feels now that God and Jesus said that the Mormons are telling the truth. Curtis really seems to hates the Mormons for some reason.
My picture is here because God imported it from the old site, but that was when He loved me. Now I’m cast aside like one of Cracka’s used socks or like a chiba-less small wang black dude at Nun’s house.
i think i now have a gravatar that shows the real me.
I don’t send the chiba-less, small cocked negroes away, Josh. I use them as my bodyguards. It don’t matter how small they be, everybody’s afraid of a black man.
Ben,
Yes, you did claim to like the Titans. When you claimed to be from Iowa, I pondered why somebody from Iowa would like the Jets. You then claimed that you liked the Titans now. Of course, we all know that you’re not much more than a fucking liar.
HAHAHAHA. yikes.
Nun, I was only kidding! I was upset after they lost to the raiders. I always say that shit, but I’m only kidding. that’s the life of a jets fan. Or at least it used to be.
and I like the Jets cause I lived the first 12 years of my life in New Jersey.
On behalf of all the citizens of New Jersey, I have been asked to say we’re glad you’re gone.
Ben was soooooo close to turning from chump to champ, taking his donley status and being funny. Then he goes and undoes all the hard and funny work he did all last week.
Get it together Ben!!!!!!
We’ll always have “me fail english?”
No Curtis today. I knew that cafeteria food would do him in.
Awww… Josh is a little fatty fat. God hates you, Josh.
I still see a Josh who pities the fool. If you changed your gravatar, Josh, it’s not yet universal.
Psst… hey, Anne. Close this page, dump your cookies and come back. Viola!! Fatty fat Chinky Chong Josh.
Will it be the same if I toss my cookies? ‘Cuz 2 nite it’s been a wild ride with the pain meds and the Tanqueray.
If you toss your cookies in my general direction, I can make a huge cookie statue of a golem. Hopefully it will get rid of the ghosts of Indians and Indians (the other kind) from my backyard.
johnson #s 39 and 54-zing!
master shake-every post you ever did…not funny.
DIE, SAVAGE PRAIRIE NIGGERS!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!
HEY, SHAKE!! FUCK YOU, PAL!!!!!!
LOU DIAMOND FUCKING PHILLIPS
my “black friend” here at my place of gainful employment says, no, i am not allowed to call him either, “my nigga” or “my negro amigo.” what the fucking fuck, josh?!! YOU PEOPLE are assholes!!
Jesus My Child,
Yes, I am happy that you came out of your room and stopped huddling in the fetal position to express yourself. Feel free to go back to your ‘gangsta’ lifestyle if you like. Whatever gets you up and around again.
Dear God,
You’ve smitted me pretty bad. I’m now both Asian and fat, two things you hate.
Cracka,
The term “my nigga” has not been used by crack devils since slavery. I do think you’re friend is being uptight, and should allow you to call him “my nigga” but only when you guys are out and about with a minimum of 5 angry black dudes around, preferably ones with records, either criminal or rap.
oh no…not gangsta jesus. that guy’s a prick.
you think he’ll accept those terms, josh? that works for me. i could go to the club with him, “sup homies? see this brotha here? he’s my nigga!”
pfft-”you’re friend”
grammar-FACE!
Whoa. Now I see the real Josh, and I’m glad that picture ends where it does. Josh, when you go shirtless, do you make babies cry?
Ben thought I was insulting him when I said he wasn’t wanted in New Jersey. But it’s actually a compliment. Who the fuck wants to live in New Jersey? Maybe some three-eyed shim frogs.
Please, no gangsta Jesus! I wanna pop that fuck.
greetings, pimps! me and my nigga are also quite the players. quite the players, indeed.
I need a fucking Blu-Ray player for a reasonable price but I’m not buying a piece of shit either. Any suggestions? Somebody had the bright idea of rereleasing Fight The Future with a whole bunch of extras… for Blu-Ray only. FUCKERS!!
anne,
Even if the picture went lower you couldn’t see anything as my FUPA covers it all.
Cracka,
Skip to 2:44 in this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgyIv4U1ok4
you’re and your, I fucking know that! I just type so fast when I post here sometimes I come off as a Ben.
Cracka,
Will you ask one of your new niggas to hook me up with a sweet Blu-Ray player?
nun,
get a playstation 3. It has blu ray on it and you have the games you can play.
if not best buy carries some decent off brands so you can get one for less than $300.
http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=9072255&type=product&id=1218022588970
nun,
buy a crack head blu ray o rbuy this one:
http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=8777344&type=product&id=1204332499513
Josh,
You’re going to laugh at me but the only reason I have a Playstation 2 is because there was an X-Files game for it. So far, no X-Files game for PS3 so it wouldn’t be worth it.
I was thinking about one these…
http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=9072255&type=product&id=1218022588970
or
http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=8911396&type=product&id=1216423953707
go with the panisonic, sony is always over priced, ALWAYS. Also check panasonic.com to see if there is a rebate for it, they usually run rebates during the holid season.
But in all honesty you should get your ass to walmart at 6 AM on friday. you’ll get a blu ray player for super cheap.
I should make a restauraunt in jerusalem in your honor that serves pizza. I shall call it Cheesus Crust.
cracka should talk about spelling. “Player?” What, you play baseball?
Why aren’t they calling me at the Vo-Tech? I can’t sit here looking at birds all day and still pay my bills.
sony never puts fans in anything either. all their shit overheats. i hate sony. fuck sony.
my niggaz are all edumacated and shit, nun. i don’t think they got street connects for some blu-ray.
DO IT, JEW!! DO IT SO I CAN SUICIDE BOMB IT!! (minus the suicide)
johnson, us whiteys don’t say “playa”, we say “player”.
“street connects”, you have just confirmed you are white as white can get. if you say “connect” we know you mean the streets.
All niggas got connections, Cracka. Any claims to the contrary are just them trying to deny their heritage.
oh, for fuck’s sake guys! i know this shit already, i’m trying to stay in character and instead of playing along you keep pointing out the flaws in my “ebonics”. FUCK!
fuck this, i’m gonna go fund a civil war in a banana republic with some untapped natural resources.
Nun,
“connections”? not connects? I’m beginning to think you don’t bang black dudes at all.
I think the black people where you live are just stupid, Josh.
Will you be my mommy?
You smell like dead bunnies…
i think it’s “your breath smells like dead bunnies.”
josh, she said she fucks them, not talks to them.
You guys know what was wrong with my printer? It was out of ink.
Would someone please pull the plug so they can harvest my organs? Because I am fucking BRAIN FUCKING DEAD.
That’s my swingset, and that’s my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
that is ridiculously ridiculous, johnson. this is exactly why i hate druids.
shit. my penis just shrunk a little. (clap-clap-clap-clap)
i believe!! i believe!!
so, you rooting for the seahawks to lose out and get a top three draft pick, nun? should be a deep class. they could trade down for 2 2nd and 3rd rounders. ooooooooh…exciting.
Druids are supposed to be all for science and progress. I guess I’m a shitty Druid. You know how bad it is? I still use the phone book to look up telephone numbers.
Swear to Jealous, I have hugged trees that know more about computers than I do.
Alas, poor Curtis. The fondue soup clogged his arteries, and even though he keeled in a hospital, the whole staff was too glutted to save him.
first smoggy. now curtis.
but ben is still here.
george harrison and john lennon are dead…but we still have paul and ringo! why, God, why??!!!!!
oh, the early 90s…for you, josh…my nigga.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEEHZdxkOfo
Cracka,
I still have hopes that Arizona will lose out and the Hawks will win the NFC West. I also had sex with the real Matthew McConaughey last night and Scully is my best friend. Since I’m living in a delusional la-la land, I might as well go all out, shouldn’t I?
He told me to burn things.
injun. funny.
classic chris rock about Injuns:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlQclSrrshQ
I know a “comic” in New York who does this bit on stage like he wrote it. Fucking loser.
there can be only me!
Josh, those are some mighty voluptuous teets you have now. I dare say you are giving Nun a run.
Sometimes I’m most unamused with some of my fellow X-Files fans, like when they fixate on a fucking kiss, but sometimes they can be pretty cool. I did not involve myself with this but I’m kind of impressed with the finished product.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ntc3ZYlmdvs
FUCK!!
Oh well, I guess talking about The X-Files gives away that it’s me anyway.
I almost forgot. This post was hilarious. Thanks God.
nun are you in that video? Maybe the girl with the hat
Poor retarded chinky chongs can’t read. No, Josh, I knew they were doing it but I did not submit anything.
I mean thanks Jesus. God you’re great too but You didn’t write this one.
I READ!!!!!!
speaking of, I’m reading these crappy commentaries on CNN about what Michelle Obama’s role should be. THere are two up now, both by white women, who (1 more directly than the other) say she should “black it up”
so sad. I tried to post a comment but CNN didn’t like what I had to say and they censored it.
HAHA! I just watched that video again, Josh… Okay!! I’ll be the chickie with the hat. And I would totally bang the okie in the overalls.
Ignorant honkys. She’s already “black”. Not all “black” is ghetto.
see Nun, I wasn’t really askign if you were in the video (as you said you were not) I was just making fun of that girl in the hat!!!
They posted my comments on CNN!!! Ha!
Here is a quote from the article: “Devoting full time to motherhood is considered a waste of education by many in the black community.”
Who the fuck said that shit!?!?!?!? We grew up poor and my mom with a college degree had to work, as did my father with no degree! Fucking white people assume they knwo everything about everything.
Sorry, Josh. Poor form on my part.
I don’t get that. That’s not even a stereo-type. Sometimes, I really hate my people. And then I look at your gravatar and realize that I hate your people too. Fucking crackers and fucking chinky-chongs!
I happen to agree with the white ladies. Michelle Obama would be well served to appear in public in hip-hoppish garb with a bucket of KFC and a watermelon under her arm whilst dribbling a basketball. Also, a pick in her new ‘fro.
i watched most of that video nun, and it’s a nerd convention (although a lot of the girls are hot!) you can totally tell the girl who did it, btu wouldn’t it have been smarter to make the video 10 minutes and 13 seconds in lenght? duh! If a chink chong was in charge thats what it would have been.
Snap! Good one, Josh.
Truthfully, and this will sound rude and snobbish, but I tend not to involve myself in things like that because I don’t actually believe I’m like most X-Files fans.
I’m not even gonna read that fuckin shit on CNN, because I work around minority kids, and the other day in the cafeteria the girls were all talking about … how they have to go to college in order to get any kind of decent job at all. What part of reality don’t those white women writers get? All of it.
I can tell you this. Michelle Obama is gonna get crap from every side. She won’t be able to please anyone. The puppy won’t even like her, you wait and see.
Obama president now.
Christian the Jew,
I am not an alcoholic or a drug addict.
And yes, I have decided to take down the background image. For now anyway. It was hurting My Eyes and giving Me a headache, so I can only imagine what it did to mortals.
we loved it, Sir…until You got sick of it, then we hated it.
I loved it but now that’s it gone i’m glad it is.
I liked the pictures of the naked men. They made me feel funny.
It hurts my eyes when I’m high too, O Dear Heavenly Lordy Guy.
God,
I liked it too but my eyes also hurt reading the comments. Why not just have it only on the front page God?
God removed the links for The X-Files stuff. That makes me sad. He also removed the link for Gorgeous Gillian Anderson pics, that should make all you perverts sad. I wonder if God got a Divine Boner for those pictures. I bet God wants to donkey-punch Gillian Anderson.
No, I did not remove any links of any kind.
But I do want to donkey-punch Gillian Anderson. I think I shall.
Sorry, God. I’m just a stupid mortal. It wasn’t links but the ads on the sidebar.
Sometimes, Gillian Anderson just happens to topple over, is that You donkey-punching her? Between You and I, I’m glad that You’re Divinely Perverted, God.
now that racism is over (except for asians and injuns), i’m going to walk up to black people and just hug them…just a solid, nice, healing hug. “isn’t this better? thanks, obama!” and then, when their black little hearts melt, i will ask them, “will you be my nigga?”
whad’ya think, josh? i tried your other suggestion last night…rather painful, old chap.
Hey Cracka,
Racism is over now?
yeah, that’s right…it’s over. we got a weird-colored president. that means we’re all equal, i guess.
oh? no more? that’s too bad. that’s a shame.
I miss racism already. it was a lot of fun.
cracka,
that’s a good idea, but you should follow it up with “darkie” as in “will be my nigga? huh, darkie?” maybe throw in a “coon” or “jiggaboo” for extra flair.
BTW, happy steal the land from brown people weekend! It’s what your people have worked for. A toast to tuberculosis blankets and the trail of tears!
Oh come come now Josh.
This land is your land, this land is my land.
Roark,
to quote the American Scholar Chris Rock, “When’s the last time you saw an American Indian family just chilling at the mall? Drinking jomba juice?” and the classic “when that indian in the commercial turned around a cried, he wasn’t crying over polution, he was crying because you stole his land and raped his wife!”
As imperfect as the US is I would not want to live anywhere else, viva la slave trade!!!
this year i’m thankful for genocide and scorched earth warfare and i especially love that gamechanging late 19th century invention: the gatling gun. this 3rd serving of pumpkin pie is for you, wounded knee.
“whad’ya say, darkie, will you be my nigga?”
and remember, kids, as you watch the vikings-bears game on sunday night. john madden hates noone like he hates the vikings…and it’s mutual. boom!
now…………………………fuck off.
This is for Josh:
Here is what I did today:
I-295 to Del Mem Br., S. 95 to Balto. beltway to Charles St. Thru Center City Balto. to I-395 to Balto. beltway, east to 97 Annapolis. From Annapolis, cross Chesapeake Bay Bridge, 301 N. to 40 E., back across Del Mem Br., 295 N. to 130 N., got lost 8 miles from home (sober).
Only an Asian will appreciate such sacrifice for PICKING FUCKING IN-LAWS UP FOR A THANKSGIVING DINNER I’LL HAVE TO COOK MY FUCKIN SELF!
Mr. Johnson’s 95-year-old grandma doesn’t know what holiday it is we’re celebrating, but oh well.
I’m thankful I lived through a 250-mile commute on Thanksgiving Eve.
PS - I got lost because there was a fire in Gloucester City.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thanks for taking down the wallpaper.
It was cute for a while, but really made things too slow for snappy repartee.
And thanks for letting the Injuns show us how to cook up a good harvest celebration feast before we killed them off.
Your Perpetual Turkey,
Tony
Anne,
If only you got an A in Calculus and your exceptance letter to ivy league school, then you’d be the perfect Asian. Picking up inlaws in only part one.
Happy turkey killer day! I’m going to talk to my wife while my brother kills a turkey in the background, Sarah Palin style
heheh… exceptence = acceptance
Josh, you’re the most retarded Asian I’ve ever seen.
aheh heh, ahoo hoo.
Josh does seem particularly adept at committing unintentional lingual gaffes.
The funny thing is, I got excepted at one of those fancy-assed schools, Johns Hopkins, which is how I wound up with inlaws in Baltimore. I should have stayed at home and married a trailer trash redneck who worked at the State Pen. Then at least I’d have a regular job at the outlet mall and grown kids who would cook the fuckin dinner instead of me.
If you think I’m pissed now, wait four weeks. You ain’t seen nothing till you’ve seen Druid Annie on Xmas.
God: Thanks for another shitty holiday, loser!
Why do you celebrate the day if it brings you so much grief?
because either way Roark, it’s a day off work.
nun,
you know I spell everything phonetically! I type it so fast it’s how I think it!
Uppity, next time you scream “FUCK YOU” in my general direction, make sure you go fuck yourself with a razorblade and a handful of meal worms shoved right inside your rectum beforehand.
God, You should hurry up and get rid of Ben’s avatar? It’s making me poke my own eyes out.
Master Shake, nice sick burn on uppity cracka there. Man, he sure is going to spend a lot more time with meal worms and razors up his butt now.
I’m not sure what is so upsetting to you about a big veiny triumphant boner riding a missile, but if you could just figure out how to clear your cache, you would see that I am now represented by that character which so captures my true soul…Ralph Wiggum.
Maybe it’s the Holiday spirit, or that I’m full of turkey, or that I’m watching Home Alone 2 on HBO right now, or cause we got a kooky black president, but let’s all be good to each other from now on and just get along.
Just cause God is a raging asshole don’t mean we have to be.
Another retarded computer question. How the hell did my Yahoo shrink so I can hardly read it, and how can I get it to regular size again?
If you are willing to answer this, be sure to use really short words, because I can’t read big one.
Deer God,
Congrats on getting 1,000,000 hits
on the blog in just one night!
Wal-Mart Employee Trampled to Death by Customers
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/29/business/29walmart.html?
ref=business
AMER-RICA! AMEEEERR-RICA! God shed his grace on thee!
A million hits in one night? Holy shit God!
I think God has had many trials and tribulations associated with that cursed counter.
Crazy and really sad that guy got trampled. We’re nothing but a bunch of fucking animals, some less civilized than others.
Rest assured that the family of the “temporary employee” will not receive a dime of death benefits or anything from that evil empire.
I forget the whole list, but has God hated Wal-Mart yet?
He’ll probably get to that very soon, or he could just hate department stores in general…….
anne is right. I do not heart wal-mart.
I don’t particularly care for the way Wal-Mart treats it’s employees but most of the people who work at Wal-Mart are redneck fatties who deserve to be treated badly so I guess there really is a silver lining in every cloud.
nun,
what about the retards who work at walmart, i mean real bonafide tards who are given jobs at walmart as part of a work program? do they deserve to be treated badly? I’m no fan of walmart, but honestly speaking if youre poor, walmart can save your life.
Anne,
if you’re using IE just go to the options and change the text size. Should be in the view drop down menu.
Walmart can save your life? Jesus. I’ve now heard it all. Goodbye cruel world..
hey im just thrilled to see that god and jesus are keeping up with the times by having a blog.
Lmarie,
So if I am to understand you correctly, you are thrilled that We are Furious. We, who run the entire universe and could crush you like a worm…and you are glad we are filled with murderous rage. And you tell us about it.
I will never understand humans.
Do You understand living inanimate objects that have limbs?
“Walmart can save your life?”
A wedge of sharp cheddar cheese once saved my life.
However, I have been forbidden to reveal details.
If Mel Gibson likes Jesus and the Injuns. Does that mean that Jesus hates Mel Gibson?
http://www.stuffcougarslike.com
no, it means that no matter how many times you try your blog still sucks.
stuffpeoplewhodesperatelywanttobefunnylike.com
Did anyone take a dump today? i love dead bunnies.
I confess, I’ve not came to this site in a very long time. having said that it had been one more delight to see your great content.