Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Judson Laipply must die! This utterly mediocre, self-styled ‘motivational comic,’ whatever the fuck that is, has invoked My Sacred Name in his act and must be punished!
First, Judson sold his soul to Satanus to get his ‘Evolution of Dance’ video to be the most watched YouTube video of all time, and then he basked in the millions of dollars and thousands of horny groupies his YouTube fame brought him. And now that he is washed up, broke, hooked on meth and HIV positive, only now Judson is begging ME to save his life and return him to the spotlight. The sodomite closes every ‘performance’ of his down at the highway rest stop with a sycophantic prayer unto Me.
WELL I AM THE ALMIGHTY LORD, AND I AM NOT ONE TO BE TRIFLED WITH. HOW DARE YOU NAME YOUR VIDEO ‘THE EVOLUTION’ OF ANYTHING?! I AM THE LORD, AND I DO NOT FORGIVE OR FORGET.
DIE YOU BASTARD-FUCK!
Judson, you will spend the rest of your short, miserable life in obscurity. Oh, you will receive a call from an exec at Fox about a possible pilot for your own TV show, but rushing to get there on time I will SMITE YOU WITH A PASSING TRAIN! HAHA-HAHAHA!
Don’t fuck with God! 
Gene on 
ronpaulcandidate on 
jetaDeelp on 
Nun Ur Damned Bizness on 
The Ender on 
ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
This numbskull believes that “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred has dance moves, which, when you look at it, does not.
The SHAMmers of the world all deserve
to die by some horrible smite. They’re
selling a church-like experience without
any Bible or God to morons.
It’s only got 101 million views. I’m sure he just watched it 100,999,999 times by himself to pump up his numbers.
I’d rather watch ants eat my balls.
Next up for smiting: lolCats. I swear to You, God, if I see any more of those youdamn things, I’m going to chainsaw a harp seal in half at a mid-day showing of Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
harp seal?
Don’t Fuck With God!!!!
excellent smiting, Sir. thank You for allowing us pathetic, wretched, stupid mortals to view his smiting on Your future viewer…let it be a lesson to us all.
Master Shake: “This numbskull believes that “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred has dance moves, which, when you look at it, does not.”
You have no idea how many problems this fact has caused for me in the past few weeks.
Really? I hate this douche as much as anyone, and I think it’s a sad commentary on the stupidity of the masses in America. But really? what problems could this have caused for you bloodvork? Have you been trying to suck the blood out of right said Fred?
this video deserves to be #1 on youtube. this guy is a hoot!!
At least he lost the number one spot on YouTube. God, why on earth would people want to watch an ugly bald man dancing?
Just remember Weasel…
The warenty becomes void if the seal is broken…
That and yes, this video made me puke in my mouth….just a little. God, he should be punished oh so severely. Would You wield Your great powers and send him his just punishment?
Would you send a candir up his urethra Oh Lord? Such pain could only be deserved by such as this one…
Never saw this before. Never heard of it. Druids have more dignity and a better sense of humor. Smite away.
By the way Lord… You not you…
Gotta fix this mortal keyboard
It’s bad enough that he has a name like “Judson”, and now this. Sad. Very sad.
Dear ever Omnipresent God, how do You feel about Mahalia Jackson? Just curious.
Laipply. Just as sad.
God raises an interesting question though…what exactly is a motivational or inspirational comic???
christian the jew should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.
God,
It might be a worse smite if he actually makes that appointment with Fox.
I prefer the monkey pic, Ben. Just my two cents.
ok, thanks Nun. I think I have finally found a picture that fits the way I feel…
Don’t ever tell me to shutup.
Him Damn It, ben! shut up!
Ben,
Why do you go by so many names? You always mess it up so we know it’s you. But I love you and Pirate McCain no matter what. no homo!!!! Ha! That phrase makes me laugh and cry at the same time.
a motivational comic is someone who berates you in a way that makes everyone else laugh and then says, “just kidding.”
No, that’s not what a motivational comic is dumbass cracka. Josh, you’re a standup comic, do you have a definition for what a motivational comic is? That’s just another way of saying Christian comic or awful comic right?
just because you found a picture of a monkey with sharp teeth doesn’t mean that you get to be treated with dignity and respect, ben.
an inspirational comic is somebody who is mocked by others who say, “thank God i’m not ben.”
just kidding.
Why can’t we all just get along?!? There is nothing wrong with Ben other than a slight case of multiple personality.
I never tell you to shut up, Ben.
a motivatinal comic is a person who tells jokes to inspire the crowd. THey are marked by their “safe” and clean material. Usually they are religious, usually they suck.
they do however get PAID, they make a lot of money. YOU can be a motivational comic and clear 6 figures easy. They do a lot of churches (Which had TONS of money) and if they are not faith based they do a lot of corporate gigs (which is HUGE money). For a coporate gig you can get over $10,000 for an hour set, work 10 hours in a year…….
Nun,
you’ve never told Ben to shut up, but you did tell Pirate McCain to!!!!
Well, I’m pretty sure Pirate McCain would have said something to make me
and therefore, would have deserved to be told to shut his pie-hole. I don’t hate Ben like everybody else does.
I don’t hate Ben. I like Pirate McCain.
I do think Ben is the site’s donkey.
I don’t like Pirate McCain although I don’t get you guys confused anymore so maybe that helped with that. I know you don’t hate Ben but you’re a big, fat Chinese guy and you know how I feel about fatties and Asians so I don’t include you when I talk about ‘everybody else’. You got that, Ching-Chong McFat?
HA! I’m not really sad. I don’t give a fuck if cracka tells me to shutup. I wish he would flex his insult muscles and insult me some more. bring it bitch.
I don’t hate Ben, but he was mean to me once, once, but that’s all it took. When it comes to holding a grudge, I’m like an elephant.
I do like his accusational monkey, though.
I was mad at somebody and didn’t forgive them… I think it was Ben. I know I did that to Cooper too but I really didn’t forgive Cooper.
I think God should delete all our out-of-character sappiness from yesterday. Like I don’t have a son that I’m proud of, I have a little loser who doesn’t try his best and I don’t love him until he wins. I think we should all consider ourselves lucky that we didn’t get smited for crapping up God’s Divine Blog.
So, Josh, is a motivational comic a sell out in your opinion?
And I like the monkey too… Ben’s best character so far. In my opinion.
Nun, what the hell came over us?!? Nothing worse than a loser for a son, that’s for sure. Is he still peeing on paper in the bathtub?
Curtis,
Nah, I think there is room for everyone in comedy, as long as you don’t steal jokes.
I know plenty of people that feed their families off of corporate work. I wish I could make some of that money and then I would not have to hustle so hard.
I wish I was funny so I could be a motivational comic and make $10,000. At the rate the economy is going, I’ll get to retire at age 87.
josh is a hustler. but he is a “black” so we shouldn’t be too surprised (you know how “they” are).
it’s not a matter of hating ben. it’s a matter of telling ben to shut up. the monkey is good, stick with the monkey.
fuck yesterday, it never happened. it’s like waking up with a five star hangover next to a fugly fatty. just sneak out and pretend it never happened.
“ching chong mcfats”! ha!
Josh hustles?? Well, if Josh wasn’t a big, fat Chinese guy…
Curtis,
HAHA… that was my cat that peed in the tub… not my kid!
I propose we forget all about Josh’s real-life identity unless Josh specifies that we don’t have to. It’s why I’ve held fast to the idea that he’s a big, fat Chinese guy.
Especially with a name like “Josh” — obviously Chinese!
Nun, I thought you might like that one!
Cracka, you have another hangover? Geez, are we going to have to do an intervention? Perhaps we should all discuss this over drinks.
wait….I know Josh’s true identity was revealed but I never figured out who he was. can you guys tell me, or at least tell which thread this happened on so I can read through it?
thanks.
He is a big, fat Chinese guy who goes by the name of Ching-Chong McFat. Please keep up, Ben.
http:// http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=Y6lP7_3t_VQ
This makes me scream and laugh like Arnie from Gilbert Grape.
Whoa!! Could it be? Has God blessed me with the ability to post links….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6lP7_3t_VQ
WOOHOO!!! God loves me again!!!
NUN! My new theme song!
You guys know what’s fun? We have an intern in the laboratory, so all week long I’ve been talking like Hannibal Lecter. She’s REALLY freaked out!
I guess I was a little corny about my foster kittens. Revision. They suck. The formula goes in one end and comes out the other as SHIT AND PISS. I’m seriously considering living up to Dobson’s view of Pagans — slaughtering these fuckers in a pentagram.
I never told Ben to shut up. I’d only been here a week when he put me on a list of commenters he likes. So I’ve got your back, scary monkey!
I told Pirate McCain to shut up, but Josh rightly pointed out that the more McCain talks, the digger the hole he digs himself into. So, tell us what’s on your mind, matey! Arrrhghghg!
… DEEPER the hole.
Nobody better insult my deep hole.
It’s a well known fact that kittens and puppies are of the Devil. Their cuteness masks the pure evil that they truly are. We should definitely sacrifice a bunch of them. Bridgette told me.
If you want it, I’ll give you power. Just be gentle, I’m delicate like a flower.
What, what. In my butt. What, what. In my butt.
Better not let God hear that one!
Hey, I’m not the evil little butt fucker. Butters is. I just think he sings a catchy tune.
What, what. In my butt. What, what. In my butt.
You wanna do it in my butt?
Do not rut in the butt. Thus sayeth the Judeo-Christian deity who calls himself Jealous.
come on guys, don’t be jerks. at least tell me which thread to find this Josh outing on. Come on. I was sick that day.
Ben,
I honestly believe that Josh did not mean to out himself. He was exhausted and gave out too much personal information that Cracka jumped on for his internet stalking. I would not feel right pointing you in the direction and I do not feel right referring to his real-life identity until he specifies that it is okay to do so. However, I am a paranoid personality that abhors personal information on the net. Everywhere else I post, nobody knows my child is a boy. I have been more open here than anywhere else and hope everyday that it does not come back to bite me in the ass.
If that’s being a jerk, then I guess I’m a jerk.
YOU JERK! YOU ARE ALL JERKS! JERK JERK JERK JERK JERKY JERKS! Why don’t you stop being a jerk, jerky?
I take back any Group Hugs I started yesterday.
Remember that time you were mean to me, Ben?
Guess I’m a jerk too. I told you, when it comes to holding a grudge, I’m an elephant.
Gee Nun, someone in America who smokes pot, is paranoid, and has a son.
Yeah, we know who you are.
thing is that josh is an entertainer with a website promoting his work as a comedian. he actually wants people to hit his site and tell their friends about him. it’s not like he posts his name and address and social security number on it. it would have made my murder a little easier if he had. but i got that fucker eventually. anyway, if josh wants ben to check out his site he can give him that info. of course, as a fat chinese man he probably sucks at business and tries to hide his work in the back of a weird store where you can buy giant boxes of straws or expired pasta or manila envelopes and pencils, just about anything that people can’t actually USE.
FUCK!! OMG!! OMG!! That’s it, I’m out!!
On a more serious note, that’s fine to make fun of Yo but at one place I post some of the people are far too nosy about real-life identities of online posters. Excuse the fuck out of me for wanting to retain my privacy.
Curtis, have you brought in some fava beans for lunch? Maybe a nice Chainti?
The fuck out of you is excused, Nun. I found the original “What, What, In the Butt” and it’s pretty funny too. Unfortunately, I’ve got Nunitis when it comes to being able to post links.
Sorry, Nun, I wuz mean. I hope we don’t pry here - and if someone did, I’d give them false info.
Yo - you have NO idea how much fun this week has been!
Thanks, Curtis. You be my homie.
Are you referring to Samwell?
wait a minute. he does post his name…not his address and SS# though.
This is how lame I am. I tried to figure out who Josh was and couldn’t do it. Granted I didn’t put the whole heart and soul into it … but I am truly retarded.
i want josh’s real identity so i can send him letters in the mail telling him he’s a faggot.
It’s okay, Yo. You’re a cracka and can’t help the meanness that oozes out of your cracka body like slime oozes out my pussy.
Nun, yes. I’ve never seen that before. Hilarious!
DOUBLE FACE + SELF FACE =TRIPLE FACE!!!
the first ever TRIPLE FACING!!!!
CONGRATS, NUN!!!
(Gag) Thanks for the mental image, Nun!
Anne,
That is neither lame nor retarded. It’s respectful.
Josh,
Your avatar is a famous SHAM.
Get some nuts!
You are very welcome, Yo.
that would be fun, jew. plus, you could sign him up for a subscription to “lavender” and whatever other gay mags there are. oh, the hijinx.
Sham!!! No way Tony Snow!
It’s T time!!!
Anne, I couldn’t figure Josh’s identity out, either. And yeah, I didn’t put too much effort into it, either.
hold on, nun. how is it respectable that she can be given more than enough information to make a simple connection but can’t do it. in that case, you must really respect the shit out of me for not being able to get sex from a half awake prostitute.
I always liked T. I pity the fool!! I like his manly black voice. He makes my pussy slime.
well, do you?
nun’s vagina is back!! and slimier than ever!!!!!!
It’s respectful because she didn’t dig too hard to uncover somebody’s personal information. Have I not made it abundantly clear that I hate that sort of thing? I do feel bad for doing Halo like I did though… my friend keeps telling me there was nothing wrong with it but guilt I feel nonetheless. She really is a nice person.
“you could sign him up for a subscription to “lavender” and whatever other gay mags there are.”
Actually, you sign his name up for the magazines, but put his next door neighbor’s address on the subscription.
Special times, special times
i want to know who nun really is. i think her whole persona is a lie.
what was this post about again? oh yeah. inspirational comic guy. so, what you’re saying, zombie josh, is that you need minimal stage presence, bad jokes with a sappy ending and bam! you’re gettin’ paid!
are you saying she’s not really a nun?
i’m saying she’s not really a slimy pussy slut. i bet she’s super wholesome away from this site.
going to lunch. looks like i’m going to miss the century quickening. unless Our Lord and Smiter sees fit to use chronological magic on my behalf.
jew, that is a truly disgusting thought.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!!
100
DAMMIT!!!
Josh, I love you just the way you are … which to me is a cypher … with a manly photo.
Ok. I read through the thread of the forgiveness post and did some google searching and figured out who Josh is. Apparently he’s not the guy with cerebral palsy he posted the link to or I thought he was. I really thought he was a palsy.
He’s some black guy I’ve never heard of just like he said he was. Cool dude! Why don’t you crack some cracker jokes on cracka? He’s an uppity cracka!
I actually looked myself up from the info I posted here, it’s pretty fucking easy, just don’t do it! It’s like beating a kid in checkers, simple but it aint right.
Nun,
Don’t feel bad, halo tried to out you, and looking her up was so easy a fat chinese dude like me did in in 3 seconds flat.
Cracka,
You just need 45 minutes of clean comedy, and a corporate booker and you could be rich. The comedy just can not be offensive in anyway, and you have to “look the part” not too many guys with tattoos and dread locks get that corporate comedy money.
look at this guy: he’s a hit at corporate: http://www.technicallyfunny.com/
or this guy: http://www.dickhardwick.com/
The Incredibly Unpleasant Jew is a slimy pussy slut. I did thorough research through my unparalleled Internet savvy and discovered this person’s true identity!
Actually folks, the Jew has multiple personalities, so there are 20 known Incredibly Unpleasant Jews to date. One of them calls herself “Candy” and works for an escort service in Vegas.
Shut the fuck up, Ben!!
Jesus Christ!!
Ben just wants to be liked. It’s not his fault, he’s a middle child.
Josh, I can’t even dial up the right phone number when it’s handed to me on a piece of paper. I’m glad this disability dovetails with your wishes.
Did she, Josh? I was afraid I was being paranoid as I’m wont to do.
WHAT?! doesn’t a standup comic want as much exposure as possible?! geez….WTF. it’s a different situation from you Nun. Josh doesn’t have a slimy dwarf-infested vagina.
But enough about Josh. Cracka’s gone, let’s talk about him.
Speaking of, Josh… you had mentioned that you knew two facts about me… would you mind sharing what those are?
wow Josh. wow. I’m gonna give you a FACE on me for that. You’re right I am a middle child and I do just want to be liked.
I know how it is. I’m no longer the cool kid and you all think I’m a faggot now.
At least you know they’re dwarves and not midgets. I take back my shut the fuck up although I don’t think you should have done that to Josh. Chinese guys hate being called black dudes.
I suspect Cracka might have a slight drinking problem.
TWO FACTS ABOUT NUN:
1. she’s not really a slimy pussy slut.
2. josh is a faggot.
I know two facts about Nun,
and one them is rather fun.
I think Cracka has a huge drinking problem and a beer gut.
Josh, don’t use the word “faggot”. It’s tacky.
Cheer up Ben, we still like you. I think.
That goes for you too, Jew.
Jew is actually correct, I’m not really a slut. Sorry, guys.
curtis, don’t use the word “tacky.” it’s faggy.
BEn,
Here’s the thing, now I can’t say super offensive stuff on this board with this ident. That’s all. I can’t even play a role like Nun and pretend to be something I am not.
It’s not that I don’t want people on my blog or my website, it’s just that by outing me you take away my freedom.
Long ago Lil Kim used to troll on a forum I was on, it was hilarious because she ended up outing herself. But the reason she did it was so see what people thought and to be able to trash other artists.
Curtis, judging by the number of times cracka appears in the morning, moaning about sounds and lights, you may be right.
On the other hand, he may be playing us.
FACE!
FACE!
FACE!
FACE!
FACE!
Curtis, unless I missed it I don’t think Josh used the word ‘faggot’. Ben did but I still like him anyway.
Hint guys - ‘faggot’ is much more insulting than ‘fag’. It’s the same difference between ‘nigga’ and ‘nigger’.
Curtis,
#120, I didn’t drop the F bomb, that’s Jew.
I don’t understand what Josh has to lose by his identity being revealed after he had made so many references to it. As a comic, you should be throwing your name out.
Think of what it’s like for me as a failed government secret. We’re not even allowed to leave the laboratory let alone reveal the clandestine nature of our existence.
Who wants to bet Cracka comes back from lunch loaded?
Sorry, Josh. My bad.
Joshy hit the nail on the fucking head. Good show for a chink, Josh.
Cracka is at lunch, and Yo yo knows this because they work together!!!!
Nun,
I said I knew one fact about you, you live out west in Seattle. Halo’s issue was she used the same ident on multiple boards so it was easy to find her on a netorking site. Plus she told us she had huge titties, which in fact is true, maybe I have the wrong person I could give you her initials if you’d like, or just her first name
TWO REASONS JOSH IS A FAGGOT:
1. he’s afraid to be “offensive” on here after he’s been “outed.” just say what you want, douchenozzle.
2. cock. in his mouth.
Curtis, how do we prove it? See how out of control he is? Make him breathe into the computer heat vent?
Josh,
No way dude. That shouldn’t stop you from saying whatever the fuck you want to. We’re like 5 people spread out over the country and only 3 of us even know who you are.
AND WHAT THE FUCK! You’re a standup, shouldn’t you own up to whatever nasty thoughts you have?! Did George Carlin ever back down from any of his nasty thoughts? No, and that’s why he was a legend.
Jew,
You of all people know how showbiz works, you can’t really have an opinion or else it’s held against you. Why do you think movie stars who are in movies they know suck can never say it, or stars think movies they are not in suck they will not say it?
Dang it Josh, you outed me! I cover for him whilst he trolls the local bars, returning at 2PM, reeking of cigarettes and puking into the plant pots in the lobby!
Yo. That’s just it. We don’t have to prove it. We’ll just say it’s so and that’s it. Hell, are we not Americans? Since when do we have to prove what we say?
Josh, what about what I said? Standup comics are not actors, they are opinion-havers! They’re the only fucking people who get to speak their mind.
Maybe Jew is right, you really are a faggot.
Damned straight!
Err, my ‘Damned straight’ was for Curtis, not Ben.
oh wait I just got your joke on the Jew about how he runs show business. lol. ok that was funny. well played Josh, well played.
…and by ’straight’, I was in no way maligning the Gay community!
Josh, I see your point completely, but I’ll have to admit that you were found out because I really like your comedy. Selfish, I know, but that’s just how I am.
don’t get ahead of yourself, josh.
you can have an opinion and it wont effect your ability to get work. people have to give a shit about you before they give a shit what you have to say.
Yo - HA! What was that line from Seinfeld? “Not that there’s anything wrong with that?”
Damned Jews control Hollywood, control banking, control finance.
LOL! Loved the Seinfeld.
yeah….they do control everything….why are you destroying the economy Jew? what the fuck did we ever do to you? Oh! right.
…control medicine, the media…
Ben,
I wish that was true. Every comic has an on stage persona that they have to live with. Chris Rock is not that angry off stage he’s actually a quiet dude, But anything he does in public has to be loud angry and black.
TO be honest I don’t really care, it just feels wierd, like when the babysitter’s daughter touched my weenie.
Josh,
I don’t believe you have found Halo as she does not use that name at the other site I refer to.
Also, Cracka assumed I was from Seattle as I like the Seahawks. Take a look at a map of the US and then look at the NFL football teams. You will see that Oregon, Washington, Alaska, Idaho and Montana are all in Seahawks territory. All those states have a Seahawks charter. I have never confirmed or denied my exact location.
Josh, was this last week???
It is weird and makes people feel naked when their anonymity is compromised.
Nun,
is her first inital an S?
I couldn’t tell you, Josh. I’m sure I’d be able to find that information if I really looked but have never done so… not my style. But based on the ‘halo’, I really don’t think you’ve located the right person. However, I don’t track her to other sites she uses so maybe you have.
maybe I got the wrong person, but it scared her enough not to come back. We pulled a Sarah Palin’s preacher on her ass.
Josh,
I understand what you’re saying, but I think if you’re going to be a successful standup you should realize that who you are on stage IS who you are. who you are here, and what you say here IS who you are as well. You should be able to say whatever you want with impunity. I think you learned a bunch of stuff at comedy school or in a book or something and that’s good, but you should throw all that shit you learned from failed comics out the fucking window.
And just cause Chris Rock is quiet before he goes on stage when he was around you doesn’t make that who he is. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be bothered by a bunch of fucking nobodies.
I don’t think she was scared into not coming back. She may be here now lurking. I just felt very uncomfortable with her asking me about this blog elsewhere and then making sure to refer to my name at another forum in a post here. I didn’t appreciate it but probably should have handled it better.
why you guys gotta type so fast? i can’t keep up with this shi—-braaaahhhgggarrghblaaaaaaaaaafhhhfffffff!!!! (hic). nev-vermine ‘mokay.
josh. if anyone in the biz were to track you down through this site and say, “josh is racist!” couldn’t you just show up in your dark skin and tell them to check themselves before they wreck themselves? i mean, dude, you’re a NEEEEGRO!!(fat orientals hate being called black) plus, there’s the fact this is completely over the top as fuck satire, so, really….you know.
yeah! what cracker said!
see thats why i love this site. God says whatever he wants and so do we. you should be able to do the same in your act Josh. aren’t there enough motherfucking censorship assholes out there who are gonna tell you what you can’t say without you doing it yourself?
Cracka, the security guard in the lobby would like a word with you.
Josh,
No disrespect to your comedy …
Just pointing out that Mr T has a reputation as a SHAM artist.
(Self Help And Motivation).
FACE!
shit, yoyo, can’t you tell him i’m out until tuesday? that guy’s such a rule nazi. stay out of my business, man!! i ain’t hurtin’ nobody! fascist commie bastard! get the fuck off me, man! get the fuck off me!!
Ben,
Since you continue to assert that Josh being outed is no big deal, why don’t you give us your full name, your occupation and your location.
Also your shoe size, hat size, and the names of three people who can verify the information.
I’d also like to know your SS# and your mother’s maiden name. Just for the records.
Who gives a shit about any of that. I’m serious. The information I’ve asked for is the information that he has about Josh. He continues to say that’s no big deal and Josh should be a-okay with that without being in the same boat. Maybe he should give us the information so he knows how it feels.
Yo - you might consider slipping Cracka a couple of breath mints. That ETOH could strip wallpaper.
Good point, Curtis. Cracka, let’s take a little walk, shall we? Here’s some coffee.
Nun, you do have a valid point.
Now I have to go back to work. Stupid job!
Y’all have fun. And, Nun, what what?
what? what you guys want with my blood? huh? i just had my klestril checked and i’m in shape ship…where’s the code? i’m on it! let’s save some lives!!
i’m beginning to see nun’s point. let’s all pretend we don’t know who josh is. who cares anyway? i mean, fuck that faggot. gay old josh. with his gay porn and his gay butt.
IN MY BUTT!!!
thats fucking bullshit Nun. first of all I never said what his name was in this thread. second of all its nothing more than what HE himself puts out on his website and in his act which is just his name and that he is a comic. what the fuck.
I am not a standup comic, but when you decide to become one you put yourself in the position of being a public person. I am also not the one who outed him! and I am not saying its not a big deal that we know who he is, all I keep saying is that he should be true to himself no matter where he speaks his mind. fuck all that persona bullshit.
shut up, ben. i guess. why not?
who the fuck cares if we know that Josh is a fat bald chink-eyed nigger faggot with cerebral palsy.
Josh is a big, fat Chinese guy and he’s gay?? Son of a fucking whore!?!
Nun, which hole is tighter? Which one smells better?
shaving lives all day, baby! letsh go to cardio and flirt with them bimbos down there.
(seriously, though, every clinic or hospital i’ve worked in the cardiology techs are like a harem of hotties. curtis, yo, is this true in wherever the hell anonymous place that you live?)
Ben,
Your argument would be a little more valid if you didn’t post under multiple identities. Why don’t you be brave enough to say who you really are or shut the fuck up. Seriously.
ben 180
was that a funny?
did ben do a funny?
or am i just so drunk that i think everything is funny?
No, I’m starting to think that Ben is just an asshole.
Benjamin Van Kampen
Underwriter
Pella, Iowa
Now shut the fuck up Nun. You dumb cunt.
don’t you think everyone is an asshole?
DON’T FUCK WITH GOD!!
Cracka, although I work with a lot of women, only a few are hotties.
One of them looks hot from the rear. Nice ass, she works out, well stuffed into tight jeans (on Casual Fridays). From the front- yikes!
haha! ben lives in iowa! hey, ben, do you ever drive to minneapolis to go to the mall of america and get lost and drive 42 mph on the freeway with a van full of hicks? because it seems like everyone else in iowa does that.
hey, jew, are you going to mail him letters that question his sexual orientation?
here’s what you do, yoyo. roofie that cunt. do her from behind while looking at a picture of the pretty woman of your choice…
perhaps i went too far with the cunt comment, and I’m sorry Nun. but don’t fucking get up my ass about Josh’s identity. i wasn’t talking to him about that, I was just arguing my point of view on censorship, self or otherwise.
Cracka, you are a genius!
so are you, yoyo! all of us whiteys are geniuses…except for the poor ones! fuck poor people.
Fuck off, Ben. You went too far when you made fun of the way Josh looks. You’re an ignorant hayseed.
Damned straight, cracka! You and me, geniuses! Errr…can you sell me some roofies?
what? you’re the one calling him a fat chink you commie hippie cunt.
nun. you are confusing me. is this some sort of daze and strike strategy? are you mounting an insurrection? whiteys!! close rank!!! call our attorneys!!!
i’m pretty sure ben was following your lead in calling josh a ching chong mcfatty. plus, he posted his full name, occupation, and (ahem) “city” of residence.
GO, ANGRY BEN, GO!! DON’T TAKE THAT SHIT!!
NOW…….SHUT UP.
there can be only one!
dude, i’m ultra powerful today.
dammit! that’s two century quickenings for cracka today!! you are getting too strong!
Damn, first and second century. God loves you because you are a cracka.
I think Josh wanted us to know who he was. Nobody drops that many clues unless they really want to be outed. I’ve read detective stories before, criminals do it all the time.
and yes I have been up to the Mall of America before cracka. it sucks giant monkey balls. so does minneapolis, what a sucky city.
of course he wanted to be outed! he’s a faggot!
Q: What is the difference between a pigeon and a merchant banker?
A: A pigeon can still put a deposit on a Ferrari.
God hates a coward, sonny.
fortune favors the bold.
in the words of bob the builder, or is it joe the plumber:
“this is the greatest country on earth. stop apologizing for it.”
ben, in order to have fun here you have to do cool things…not just drive around malls trying to park at the TGI friday’s.
you have earned my ire, sir! prepare for a sound thrashing!
that accusing monkey picture was really disapproving of my city. i hate him now!!
cracka, the Vikings dome looks totally out of place in your dirty tiny shit stained city. nice 1,000 lakes too you minny wackadoo.
ha! some thrashing that was. I win.
This place is mine now.
oh i get it. Cracka faced me with silence. ouch.
Cracka,
Maybe you should go back and read #180 because I don’t think you understood it the first time.
yeah, i’ve sobered up since lunch and realize now that ben is AN UNFUNNY ASSHOLE!!
i will rededicate my life to the sole purpose of facing ben. i have been too lax in my crackerness in that regard.
what didn’t he understand Nun? that I was clearly imitating you?
Ben,
You are banned for a week for disturbing the peace on My Holy and Divine Blog. You should thank Me I do not smite you!
Ben
1) I did not want to be out, I was tired as shit (punch drunk if you will) and said something that gave Cracka a clue. Who knew the dude would back track and use the power of Google and God to find me?
2) with respect to comedy, dude you really don’t know what you’re talking about. Your stage voice can be completely different than your real voice, unless you think Jim Norton is actually a child molester, or if you believe Mitch Fitel actually sounds like that (he doesn’t). The thing you see on stage is something that is carefully crafted to appear like it’s what the person is really like. There are cases where the two overlap, but not always. Larry the Cable is a made up character by comedian Daniel Lawrence Whitney. I’m not making this up, it’s not something I found in a book (comedy books btw are a waste of money unless it’s a book about the business of comedy). It’s something I’ve learned by grinding in the clubs and in local bars for 5 years, somethign taught to me by the famous comics I get to hang out with from time to time. When it comes to comedy you’re a civilian, not even in the same league as the people who get on stage night after night and love their dream.
3) I don’t really care if you know who I am, it just takes some fun out of this board for me. I can’t just post wild shit like I have a dwarf living in my pussy and you guys except it at face value, because now I am a real person. That’s my point.
stick to Pirate McCain and switching idents, and being an asshole (I actually mean that in a nice way, because I like assholes and I do think you’re funny and well meaning), you’re good at that. Leave your comedy advice for peopel who have actually been on a stage and done it.
GOD-FACE!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!
CRACKA-FACE! YOUCH!:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Pella-Franklin.JPG
GOD-FACE!
Dear God,
Please don’t ban Ben. He’s a simple man, he knows not what he does, but his voice is needed.
Your Humble Outed Servant,
Josh
JOSH-FACE!
wow. i had no idea i was ruining your fun, josh. for that i am deeply…uh…deeply…having some kind of feeling. i’m not sure. NO! being a cracker means never having to say you’re sorry.
he mentioned a comedy festival. i googled nyc comedy festivals. front page of the site, “last year’s winner: this dude named josh.” click on it. there’s his blog. i wasn’t even trying, man. i guess this watergate shit comes naturally to me. now, i’m willing to forget if you guys are.
the point is…JOSH WON SOMETHING! he’s a credit to his race. and he’s so well spoken!
like I said Cracka, I dont really care, but it does feel a bit weird. That’s why I’m not mad at Ben in any way and I do hope God does not really ban him.
my link to face ben is in limbo. your doom is imminent, dead ben!!!
Maybe God banned Ben for carelessly throwing around the word ‘faggot’. Or maybe 180 goes over God’s line as well.
God,
If You can delete posts here then I humbly request that You delete post 180 in the spirit of censorship.
And if You wanted to delete the posts where I was mean to a visiting angel, well, I’d understand. I’m sorry for attacking one of Your sheep, God.
sorry, josh, i get subtly racist when i’m nervous before a gig. notice how i didn’t tell you enough info to google the venue and find out who i am? ha!
Shut the fuck up, Josh. You big, fat Chinese guy! Your fat Chinese gut makes me sick. As does your tiny Chinese wang.
when josh does nun from behind his gut oozes down into her asscrack as he tries to direct his miniature schnauzer into her yawning sinkhole of a twat.
nun, does cerebral palsy offend you?
smoggy!!!!! wake up. it’s saturday morning!! time to watch weird kiwi cartoons and eat a box of weird kiwi cereal!!!
Cracka,
The only time I’m offended by cerebral palsy is when it makes the bastard who has the fucking palsy not be able to stick his palsied penis inside of my gaping twat. Other than that, I’m totally cool with the palsy retards.
And Cracka, I still don’t think you understand the post that bothers me. Maybe I’m the one that doesn’t understand it but Ben is not calling Josh Chinese. He’s calling the eyes Chinese but that’s about it.
I used to work with a dude how actually used duct tape to hold a woman’s gut out the way while he banged her. that is a true story. He told it because he does not give a damn who he bangs as long as they are disease free.
you’re right! i hate chinese eyeballs!
still don’t get it.
wait! the eyeballs are rolling down a dusty street and you forgot your spoon?
josh.
wow.
i…that’s…he…wow.
Shut up, Ching-Chang Chink.
cracka he used duct tape and a broom handle. I kid you not. he’s a funny dude though, oh the times he unknowingly involved me in so many lies so he could cheat on his wife. crazy times during that dot com bubble.
Nun, a co-worker from surgery and I have been singing “in the butt” to each other all day long. Thanks for the fun!
Josh, I think you should always wear a disguise from now on and we won’t know it’s you.
Cracka - I’m having a bad day. Watch out.
Ching-Chang Chink,
Am I being overly sensitive in regards to that post? I like you, even if you are a big, fat Chinese guy, so it’s possible I’m being overly sensitive.
Curtis,
I wish I could change my gravatar but because we’re not realling using wordpress you’re stuck with whatever God gave you. I was about to photoshop my Mr T pic to have asian eyes and a chinese beard. but no dice.
Curtis,
I’ve been singing it all day with my burro too!! It’s such a catchy tune. I even took off my shirt to properly represent Butters and his naked chest when he’s smelling the rose.
Nun,
I think you’re being a bit sensitive, partly because you are afraid people will find out who you are, and secondly because I am your son. Ben was not trying to hurt me on anyone, he was just trying to show he was in on the joke. He wasn’t being malicious (I don’t think), he just wanted to have some fun. And isn’t that why we’re here?
Ching Chong Danny Devito.
well, now that that’s cleared up…whew!!!
go for it, curtis. i’ve been wearing full barrier PPE all day. besides, what’s a little golden shower amongst friends and their token gay friend?
I didn’t want anybody to know that you were my bastard child, Josh. Why’d you do that?? You fucker!! I hate you and your father. Did you know how much I hate your father? Well, you do now you little bastard fuck!
.
.
.
Point taken about Ben. Sorry, Ben.
nun must not be a cracker. she apologized.
Nun, you did it with a chinese guy? tsk, tsk.
Cracka, you said, “besides, what’s a little golden shower amongst friends and their token gay friend?”
We call it ‘foreplay’.
I want to point out that it seemed malicious to me but maybe I’ve completely misunderstood what he said. To me, it sounds like he’s calling you a fat, bald, gay black man with Asian eyes.
Curtis,
I didn’t know the fuck was Chinese. I thought he was a fucking Arab!!
Ching Chong allah acbar!!!!!!
Ping Pong Bai Ling. Herro, prease.
“a fat, bald, gay black man with Asian eyes.”
Nun, not that there’s anything wrong with that. You’ve got to watch them Chinese, they are sneaky that way. I’ll bet he wore a turban and kept shouting out “Allah, Allah, Allah” when he orgasmed, didn’t he?
Wow, what a ruckus! See what I miss by taking the afternoon off?
So I’m in the Chinese restaurant waiting for my egg rolls, and these two Mexicans come in, and they’re trying to tell the Chinese shop owner that they want jalapeno peppers in their lunch. Everyone’s speaking English, but damn if it sounds like English. I got to translate my own language, to three men who were also speaking the same language.
We all ended up laffing our asses off. Then I went in the kitchen with them.
So. What you guys say about Asians is wrong. I’ve never seen you say anything about Mexicans, but that would probably be wrong too.
And it’s a fuckin coincidence that you all were talking about Chinese. I have not been lurking!
I’M GONNA GET DRUNK NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’M AN ALCOHOLIC!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
now…..fuck off.
Cracka, you’ve got jaundice. Better get your redneck ass to an AA meeting.
I’m just blue in the face because I can hold my breath until I nearly pass out. Mr. Johnson taught me how to do it.
you guys might like this interactive website:
http://www.palinaspresident.us/
That website is fantastic Josh. Great link!
Iranistan. Somethingistan. NorthKoreastan.
hahahahahaha!! i’ve got a beer now!!! hahhahahahaha!!!
smoggy! die, smoggy! die!
DON’TFUCKWITHCRACKA!!!!!!!!!!!
And now we come to this special time of the evening when the beer kicks in and we realize that our jobs are sucking the life blood out of us and I really do have quite a miserable existence where my only “friends” are heathen, politically incorrect, snarky, geometric shapes or photos of former celebrities on some irreverent blog, and I question the very reason of my existence and really wonder if I make any sort of God damned contribution to this incredibly fucked up society that doesn’t give a God damned tinker’s cuss about me or my real life and my miserable life as a tiny insignificant blue dot in the midst of a huge red state that wouldn’t even slow down to 40 MPH if I were beaten and badgered on the side of the highway.
Yeah, all that, and I was informed today that I didn’t get a promotion from my Bible thumping boss because I wasn’t a “family man” read that HOMOSEXUAL!
But am I bitter? You bet.
Y’all have a good weekend.
i can’t believe you moved. god. i didn’t even get a “god has moved to a new address” post card. i would have thrown it away anyway.
god, tell me this; i’m logged into wordpress and still I get that damn crazy smiley icon. why? fuck.
Curtis, that’s no damn reason to be passed over for a promotion. Is there someone to whom you can file a grievance?
This is why my husband is a voluntary shop steward for the union. Shit like this can’t happen at his factory. Of course it could close down any day and set his union ass out in the street, but until then, no promoting people because they’re “family men”! Fuck that shit.
Curtis, I’m appalled by this discrimination against you. Do you have the equivalent of a our Human Rights Act? We are prohibited from any discrimination on the grounds of Marital status (this means being single; married; in a civil union or in a de facto relationship) or Sexual orientation (heterosexual, homosexual, lesbian or bisexual) and these grounds apply to a person’s past, present or assumed circumstances.
We have, or have had, gay, lesbian and transgender members in our parliament and no one gives a shit. You can even be an atheist here and hold office. In fact, the only group everyone dislikes is the exclusive Brethren (and they earned our hate for trying to subvert the political process).
Your situation sounds completely medieval. Can you sue this cunt?
Anne, Smoggy, thanks.
Unfortunately, it was worded oh so carefully so that even though the meaning was quite clear, it’s not like one could prove intent. Unfortunately, there is no legislation to protect the Friends of Dorothy.
I’m moving to New Zealand and help Smoggy with his sheep.
curtis,
i would be apalled but i’m so used to this shit that i didn’t even flinch. sue them. you will lose, of course, because you are gay. therefore, you are an inferior human. i think my views are quite clear on this and i’ve been proven right a zillion times, so q
uite frankly…you deserve it! seriously, though, sue them. take it out of their asses. fuck them! fuck everybody! fuck the world! an RN where i work was passed over for a promotion because of her friendship with our highly entertaining token gay guy. i’m not making that shit up, man. she got passed up because she doesn’t have enough hate in her heart. makes sense to me.
fuck.
PS-God, why the 6 turnovers and the 2 special teams TDs? i thought You were blessing my team? shit. shit. shit. shit. how did they lose that game?
PSS- fuck.
Uhm, thanks, Cracka. I think.
God alone is real, nothing matters but love for God.
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