Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
I am the Lord your God. If you be a rich man or woman, I hate your stupid guts and I will punish you for the wealth I have given you. I am the Lord your God.
In My first book I made it quite clear that I hate rich people and all that they represent. Their hearts are greedy - their minds are arrogant - their souls are dumb. Two thousand years ago I said that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into the Kingdom of Me. And nowadays I tell you it is even more impossible for a rich man to get into Heaven. Adjusted for inflation, now it is easier for a fat lesbian camel high on meth to make it through a complicated Japanese obstacle course than it is for a rich man to get into the Kingdom of Me.
I am the Lord your God. I hate rich people no matter what. No matter how they have earned their wealth – I hate them! I don’t care if they made their money as a professional hitman for Pat Robertson himself - I hate them! They have forgotten Me; they give all the glory of their success to their stupid human brains - I hate them! I am the Lord your God.
But I hear you think; what about all the great leaders from the Bible I blessed with wealth? Is there not a single rich person I love? NO!
King David? Abraham? Job? I used each one of those rich bastards to My advantage; nothing more, nothing less. I punished each one of those chumps with My vicious genital warts smite! Go ahead, look it up.
The rich covet gold above all else, but they will get what they deserve. Be it a sudden gang raping by a roving pack of homeless homosexuals, or just simple bankruptcy and public humiliation; fear not, for I promise you they shall get what they deserve.
Bunch of rich, pompous assholes…think they’re so smart! I tell you it brings Me such sublime joy to crush a rich person down into nothingness. And the vast hordes of banker-bastards and wall street schmucks I have smoten in the last several weeks has brought Me an intense happiness and fulfillment I have not felt since the flood. Why, just today I finished My smite on this one smug super-douchey investment banker I hate. Tonight he became so distraught at losing his job and having his Mercedes repossessed that he shot himself, his wife and his three kids. It was a beautiful thing to see.
If you are reading this and you are a rich person, I warn you: if you wish to avoid eternal damnation and smitation you must give away your ridiculous trinkets and give all your money to Me and cast yourself down into the dregs of the middle class.
I repeat: I command all you rich assholes out there to give Me all your wealth and worldly possessions or else I shall be forced to reach down into your stomach and rip out your intestines through your throat. Well, perhaps not literally - perhaps I will just have you lose your cushy Wall Street job and transform you into some lame Honda salesman in Hackensack, NJ - but at any rate this is what your punishment will feel like to you when it comes.
I am the Lord your God. I tell you there is not a single rich human* on the planet that I do not detest. They are all total a-holes. I am the Lord your God.
* I hate rich humans, but have no problem with rich animals (such as ducks). However, cats filthy rich from crazy-cat-lady inheritance money must be shot on sight. I am the Lord your God.
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Dear God,
I hate those rich fuckers too! I hope their barns get torn down around their ears, and their bushels of wheat rot, and their earmarks turn into herpes sores, and their toxic debt poisons them, and their golden parachutes turn to tin parachutes, and all of John McCain’s cars and houses and planes and elections and shit come crashing down around him just like you did with Job (except that you don’t bless him again afterwards). And I pray those “prosperity doctrine” fuckers get the smiting they richly deserve. I see now that making someone like Bill Gates rich is one of Your great jokes.
So God, thank You for making me so poor…I understand that it is a sign of Your great favor.
Amen to that, Father.
Accumulation of wealth, by whatever means, seems to make people forget about their basic need to get along well with one another. It’s a pity that our society considers the pursuit of riches to be not only necessary but also something to be admired. I guess it is Your punishment for rich folks that they turn themselves into such assholes.
Nice Site layout for your blog. I am looking forward to reading more from you.
Tom Humes
Smite them! Or cause a global collapse of our economic system, so the former-rich can work for us po’ folks.
Anyone care to see Paris Hilton charging for what she used to give away?
the Goddess hates the rich bastids too, but instead of wasting all that energy smiting and revenging…I just made the market fall…(taking small bow)
Yeah, what gives? They all say how much they love You, and then they live like sultans. Hackensack is too good for them — I vote for Jersey City.
Note proper capitalization: I agree with God for once!
When civilization falls, I’m going to start my own country, Yo Yo Land. Anyone applying for citizinship must reveal income and what they did B.C. (Before Collapse).
Traders and bankers will pull plows in the fields. Lawyers will be lined up and shot.
what about us failed or failing writers, musicians or stand up comedians who drink too much and work in various fileds such as health care and spend most of our time trying to face each other on God’s Divine Blog?? where do we stand in yoyoland?
fields, not fileds.
nun, i understand if you wish to see my bloated corpse drug through the otherwise pristine streets of seattle after i got the seahawks smited last week. oops!
cracka, since you, Josh, Nun et al are not rich, you get a free pass to Yoyoland ©. I’m thinking of having all the former rich people lug us around on litters. So pack on a few pounds, make that former junk bonds trader sweat!
Goddess,
Don’t try to take credit for God’s Wall St. smite.
God what about the rich people who you put in power like Creflo Dollar and Pat Robertson?
What about rich people who still love you and give you the 10% or more you deserve for giving them life and allowing them to be rich?
“failed or failing writers, musicians or stand up comedians ”
Which one are you?
um….kind of all three, i guess.
but, now that i know my failure is actually God’s way of showing me His Divine Favor i’m going to stop trying completely…in all facets of life. finally, an excuse to drop out!!
Your Holy Kickassness,
Thank You for blessing me with barely enough to get by. You’re the best God ever!!
Your uppity servant,
cracka
I think God hates poor people, too, the lazy gits. So I’m trying to remain middle-class.
Cracka said, “um….kind of all three, i guess.”
Cracka, you are a Renaissance Man of failure!
did anyone else here grow up super poor? I know a lot of people here grew up super religious and the two seem to go hand in hand.
Not I. A former boss wa poor growing up, he was religious, but not as much as in his youth.
right, yoyo. what else can i fail at? i’ve fucked up everything i can think of. it’s like trying to find a vein on a failure junky, to paraphrase the daily show.
keep the poor people religious, keep the religious people poor…that’s the best way to keep them voting against their own self interest. it’s machiavellian.
Let’s see, cracka, are you unlucky at love? Family? Anything else we can mention to make your gravatar more unhappy?
“trying to find a vein on a failure junky” Ugh - I’m a part time EMT, I don’t set the IV lines, but help the paramedics. Nasty, sometimes, watching them try to find a vein.
Agreement on your machiavellian statement - let em hope for a better Eternity, so they won’t focus on how Now is screwed up!
machiavellian - anne and Nun will be sure to comment on your multi-syllable word.
love? no, good with women…well, at least good at pissing off women. family? no, when they start talking jesus i just pretend to agree and change the subject. let’s see, i’ve always been bad at sobriety. booooooooriiiiiiiiiiing!!!!!
Holy shit! Looks like the Pope really does talk to God too:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7654878.stm
From today’s news!!
Josh, I was raised on a dairy farm. ‘Nough said!
Yo, Can i live in Yoyoland? Will you have a gay ghetto?
Cracka, how are you with video games? Is Dungeons and Dragons your kind of thing?
I think keeping poor people religious and religious people poor is more anti-Marxist than Machiavellian.
Grew up poor, clawed way into middle class, holding on by fingernails. And I’m failing as a writer as slowly as some people die of cancer. But I’m gettin it done.
Benny, that’s sobering. Whew, glad I’m Catholic!
BTW, God, that is one ugly-assed house you used as an illustration. I just went outside and kissed my front door.
Re Benny’s link: Yeah, a guy wearing a gold crown, saying we shouldn’t want to be rich. That’s fuckin rich!
Anne, he also wears Prada.
Josh - No. I hate them all. I may trick them into thinking I love them so they keep the money flowing, but I smite them all every day and harshly.
Cracka - You are welcome. I am glad you have learned to finally let go and let Me.
yoyo, looks like johnson googled machiavelli. and she’s right, it’s not really all that machiavellian.
God,
When is the Catholic Church’s smite coming? As an organization they own more land than enyone else. They also don’t pay taxes.
curtis, luckily for me, video games are easy. i am not now, nor have i ever been, the kind of nerd who plays D&D.
as for growing up poor and religious: yeah, pretty much. why are you guys trying to make me think about my fucked up childhood?!
that’s it. i’m going to fly into a bigoted rage!
Curtis, you are welcome in YoYoLand - I’ll order some track lighting.
Cracka said: “that’s it. i’m going to fly into a bigoted rage!”
Get drunk first.
Very drunk.
of course, yoyo, of course.
it’s time to start tailgating for another sound beating on MNF tonight anyway.
[...] #47 Rich People October 6, 2008 Posted by Skepdude in Humorous, Stuff God Hates. Tags: death, God, Rich Assholes trackback CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE ORIGINAL ENTRY AT “STUFF GOD HATES” [...]
Speaking of MNF, I hope God smites Tony Kornheiser by making his penis and his tongue fall off. Man, I hate that guy.
The Saints are going to destroy the vikes. Why? The vikings are rich people.
but, the saints are rich, too. wait a minute, due to the big inflatable toilet the vikings play in, they are the lowest revenue team in football. the saints are richer!!! YES!!!!!
i am a charter member of what we call in the little apple “the false hope covenant”. GO WHICHEVER HOME TEAM IS PREPARING TO DISAPPOINT US AGAIN!!!
shut up, ben.
kornheiser overestimates his own wit and intelligence…much like bill maher. for once, i agree with both nun and johnson. but, i’m still going to date rape them.
I hate Tony Kornheiser too. I wonder how God feels about him.
cracka, I haven’t been on a date in years. Mr. Johnson keeps me locked in a tower.
How did Cracka know that Anne hates Kornheiser before Anne said she did?? Did I miss Anne hating him earlier?
I want to know why wordpress hates me, damn it!!
I want to know why I can’t post links but Ben and Cracka can!!
Why, wordpress?? WHY??
I wish wordpress had an emoticon that illustrated somebody falling to their knees and ripping their hair out.
no, ’stuff anne hates’ included bill maher. smoggy FACED her on the confess comments.
Nun, try (and this is sacreligious) a different name, like Nun2. If WordPress’s hate is filtered on names, not IP address, you may be able to post links.
Testing wordpress’ hate for me…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myEVBOjagKE
Son of a fucking whore… I wonder if it’s my name or my email…
pardon me while I post retard style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myEVBOjagKE
testing and posting retard style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myEVBOjagKE
one last test retard style
It’s fucking Yahoo!! What the fuck!?! Damn you, Yahoo. DAMN YOU!!
Yo,
Many thanks for the advice.
God,
You see this?? It’s fucking Yahoo. Smite Yahoo, God. Smite them good!!
I don’t like the gravatar that goes with this email. Is that a joint or a tooth?
joint, definitely.
Nun,
your new gravatar looks like a dude.
I wish the eyes were bloodshot. That’d be a wicked cool gravatar if that was a joint and the eyes were bloodshot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myEVBOjagKE
more testing retard style
that gravatar makes me smile
GRAVATAR
WAVATAR
See the difference?
It’s all in the wrist
fuck it. i’m voting for nader.
Testing…
http://www.yahoo.com
I wonder how many gravatars are available, and how can I select the one I like?
fuck it, I’m shooting nader.
What part of getting through that Japanese obstacle course is unfavorable to lesbian camels?
lesbian camels?
bloodvork!!!!! our favorite parasite returns!!! hey, bloodvork, ben still hasn’t shut up.
YO YO you obviously did not read the article. you douche.
and I will NEVER shutsup./ !@#$^!#$^!
Yo Yo
WAVATARS are generated at random by wordpress, one for each e-mail address (doesn’t have to be real). Keep trying and keep track of which email address goes with which wavatar.
GAVATARS are your own artwork from an account at gravatar.com, one for each real e-mail address you have.
That’s GRAVATAR with too R’s
You American bastards!!! In the global village your country is the rich bitch that shat on everyone for years. And Noo Zillund is the little shit shining shoes on the street corner, watching his pennies, not expecting too much, trying to save for his old age, while watching you cruise past in your limo and spray mud all over him. Now God smites America for her arrant greed and what happens–NZ catches it too. Our FIRST fiscal deficit in TEN YEARS and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!
Yours in friendship
Smoggy
PS Please note that Anne Johnson was smited on ‘Confess’ and is now officially a life member of the 700Club:
http://stuffgodhates.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/confess/#comment-12204
I believe it would be wise to address her as ClubberJohnson or 700Annie or similar until the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY decrees otherwise.
Thanks for the education on wavatars and gravatars, Tony. Any idea on why my links are routed to a moderation queue if I use my yahoo address?
I’m not a parasite, I’m a scavenger.
Bloodvarks are not capable of extracting blood from any living being on their own.
Shut up, Benny.
Tony, why aren’t they called ‘Avatars’?
Nun–you’ve gone … pink! You’re not a pinko are you?
I know! You’re a reincarnation of Ethel Rosenberg [gasp]!
Yo Yo doesn’t read God’s posts! He’s just here for the witty banter.
God, please smite this weirdo.
Sorry, Smoggy, they aren’t taking the bait. And oh, how that must hurt!
You use a Yahoo address, Nun? So do I! I don’t have any other connection to WordPress either.
I’m sensing a conspiracy against Nun.
Yo Yo
I think avatar is a generic term, like the lowercase god.
As opposed to specific deities like God or Allah.
how do guys get your blood then, bloody?
cracka, I believe he beats the crap out of Benny, then catchs what oozes out.
Ahh, I see. Thanks Tony.
‘wavatars and gravatars’ - sounds like something out of Star Trek.
Nun,
Some of my links have posted instantly, others took hours, so I’m not sure how the moderation thing works. I think God wants to make that one of His mysteries.
Money is Your God
http://fromspahnranch.wordpress.com/2008/09/28/a-recent-statement-by-charles-manson-on-his-doctrine-of-atwa/
God works in mysterious ways
God, what do you plan to do with the money (providing that people actually give you their money and worldly possessions)?
What about Leona Helmsley’s dog? Didn’t it inherit $12 million or something?
You fools will regret putting a false god on your money.
When the System Lords return to power, you will all be my slaves!
Didn’t SG-1 take care of you and all of your clones, Baal?
Saaaay, Baal, you weren’t as over-the-top, over-egoed, and over-dressed as Apophis, Ra, et al. You need to get with the Go’auld Program!
shutup, Baal.
is baal K Fed’s brother?
100?
You fucker, Josh.
I didn’t want 100, I just thought this would be a good time to call you a ‘fucker’.
fucking josh.
I don’t like my wavatar. I like my spikey wavatar. Damn you, wordpress!!
Yeah, Josh, it’s really retarded to seek out those century numbers.
Cracka is a weiner
That’s what happens when your email addy is ‘fuckyouwordpress’… heh
The Stargate pop culture reference is just a way of tweaking your interest. I was running things in the Fertile Crescent for millenia Before the stupid fucking Christian Era.
I like your spikey wavatar too, Nun! Come on over to my place. We’ll have a few drinks, fix this damn wordpress problem you’re having, and then go to the Grayhound station and pick up a few sailors.
Cracka isn’t gonna be there, is he?
Careful with Greyhound. There was a beheading recently.
anne johnson,
Why no link to SGH on your website? Afraid your fairy friends might find out that you just come over here to talk dirty?
Nun, you look mahvellous in green.
i’ve got a sailor outfit. all kinds of disguises. you’ll never know it’s me until you wake up in a pool of spiddle and snot. hahahahahaha!!!!
you know what are really nice? boobs. it’s weird that they’re so lovely because, if you think about, they’re just fat and tissue in a bag of skin.
Does anybody know if God can see the email addresses we’re using?
Thanks, cracka, for spoiling breasts for me. ;(
I hope so… maybe He’ll get a Divine Chuckle from some of these fake addresses I’ve created.
oh course he can Nun. He can see you’re email address and your IP address. And since he is God He can also see you when you take a shit.
Hey Baal, up yours. That’s the last time I’ll ever defend you on my web site. God’s my friend on Facebook. He seems content with that.
And as a matter of fact, I am serious at my site about matters of religious freedom. And I do come here to talk dirty. All seven Carlins at you, mo fo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myEVBOjagKE
I love Sarah Silverman!!
are you also serious about the fairies?
Josh, can He see me when I’m sleeping? Does He know when I’m awake?
anne drinks Tab! Bleah. Ah, well, it’s better than Moxie.
Too bad about Grandma Johnson - it’s enough for me to wish Karma existed.
He also watches me when I masturbate, Josh. That makes me hot and makes my self-satisfying ventures much more arousing. I love God with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns!!
Anne’s Facebook profile should be off limits in terms of heckling her.
Fuck!! I forgot the reason for my spazalistic posting and have been forgetting to add a link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myEVBOjagKE
I love Sarah Silverman!!
Hmmm…Nun, compare our W/Gravatars: Looks like ‘during’ and ‘after’, in your bedroom.
1. I am serious about fairies.
2. I drink TaB to excess.
3. I can’t believe I misspelled Greyhound.
Anne’s Facebook profile should be off limits in terms of heckling her.
.
.
.
Fuck!! I forgot the reason for my spazalistic posting and have been forgetting to add a link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myEVBOjagKE
I love Sarah Silverman!!
that’s cool. watching a girl pleasure herself is almost as good as violating her unconscious body.
Cracka, please don’t fuck with your g/w/m/avatar. It suits you perfectly.
I can’t post links with a hotmail addy either.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myEVBOjagKE
“watching a girl pleasure herself is almost as good as violating her unconscious body.”
Cracka, what do you do all day at work?
Nun, I was able to follow your link. Stuff Anne Hates: Sarah Silverman. No shit, she once hit on Mr. Johnson … it’s a long story.
Fuck, I can’t remember what address I used to get the purple octogon. Which is better… purple octogon or blue octogon?
Nooooooo! The little sunny blue one!
That’s because it wasn’t hotmail, Anne. My hotmail is waiting in a moderation queue… along with a few others. I hate wordpress.
Seriously? Before or after she was involved with Kimmel?
Does this mean that when you use your cutest avatar you can’t link, and when you use these impostor avatars you can? Fuck computers to hell.
um…nothing. well, i mean i do stuff…uh…um…uh…i don’t violate anybody if that’s what you’re thinking. that would be weird.
I’m awful partial to this guy… he’s a cutie… I guess I’ll use this one for most of my posts…
They were once at a poker party together out in L.A. Everyone wants Mr. Johnson, needless to say.
… and this one when I actually want my links to get attention…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myEVBOjagKE
Yay! Sunny Nunny! Seriously my fave. But don’t think I’m gay or anything. Then again, you sure are cute. I could be persuaded.
If you rub the area that is between my southern most tips, you’ll excite me. Just sayin’.
FUCK!!
These southern most tips.
I like you spiky too nun. you look like a happy little piece of lint.
When I want to post links, I’ll have to be sad. That sucks major butthole. Stupid wordpress.
i’ve been reading a lot lately. trying to prepare for a debate i’ve agreed to have with a conservative friend of mine (not socially conservative—i don’t befriend them, i just call them family). anyway, point is-my brain hurts. i think i covered all the talking points he’s going ot throw at me. we’ve agreed that the loser has to vote for the other one’s guy. so, this is important to me. i have the advantage of using the internet to fact check his right wing cliches. you guys got any good lines to throw at him? i mean besides, “why are you so fucking stupid?”
it’s like an 80s montage at my house…the time lapsed scenes of the guy doing various exercises while a crappy power ballad plays over the top. except replace the working out with reading, and the bad music with good music. so, maybe it’s nothing at all like that.
my vote is on the line, people!!
Have you contacted the local Democrat political machine? They might have some literature.
I’ve been thinking about the bailout - it really doesn’t fix the underlying problems. Now my head hurts, and I wonder what my sons will inherit when they grow up.
The bailout doesn’t fix anything. The economy will still crumble.
Sadly, agreement. YoYoLand is taking applications.
Uppity, voting is private. You can alter the arrangement then.
it’s on the honor system, you dishonorable worm!!
I don’t even know the right wing talking points. My husband is a shop steward for his union … that should say it all about how we vote at Chateau Johnson.
But take heart, Cracky! That wingnut can’t follow you into the booth. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live in a battleground state. But I wouldn’t put my vote on the line right now for love or money. Maybe for sex, but I don’t live in a battleground state.
There’s no friggin honor in this election, Cracka. Vote your heart.
The Republicans stole the last two elections. Honor, shmoner.
And besides, I am not a worm.
Yeah. They’re trying to do the same shit now. Two years ago the Republican candidate for senate in MD recruited homeless people from Philly to take a bus ride down to Baltimore and stand around polling places looking scary. Cracka, VOTE YOUR HEART!
I’m not a worm either, but I think I’ll go eat one.
cracka–I agree. If there was such a thing as honor McCain wouldn’t have chosen Palin. You should surely defeat him anyway–but as long as you’ve been true to yourself you should declare it a win.
Still, the key has to be the economy, nothing else matters now. Everything is contingent on getting the US economy out of its death spiral (war, health, education, taxes you name it)
And who does McCain have in his corner? Phil Gramm who thinks people destroyed by economic failure are whiners. And in his background McCain has the Keating scandal. He was front and center at the most shameful deception of ordinary people in US financial history before this year. Under McCain you’ll get more of the same, or worse. Under Obama, you’ll get calm, measured, responsible and considered financial management. It’s a simple stark choice–the other talking points are so much fluff.
Abortion? People plunged into poverty will abort more babies. Health? People who lose jobs and homes are more depressed, suicidal, prone to illness. Overcrowding causes more disease. Crime: desperate people commit more crimes to feed families and out of anger and resentment. IT ALL COMES BACK TO THE ECONOMY. And Obama will be safer, saner and more interested in sustainability.
Cracka - I say this with the utmost respect, but that is seriously the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.
How the fuck?#@$ Let’s say you lose, you’re actually gonna trust your friend to vote for Obama? What are you, some kind of naive liberal??
Benny took the words right out of my hands.
He is a cracka, Ben, that should explain his idiocy. I’m so ashamed of my white skin.
God,
Do You have a favorite country? I am thinking of fleeing the country I was born into and wondered if there was a particular country that You would like to see Your followers descend on?
More retardala posting… sorry, folks…
First, Graham Norton is one of my very most favorite faves but the real gem here is at approximately 1:30.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZwwqp3FAfg
In part III, they call German lesbian bars. WooHoo!!
More retardala posting… sorry, folks… and God. Please don’t smite me, Lord.
First, Graham Norton is one of my very most favorite faves but the real gem here is at approximately 1:30.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZwwqp3FAfg
In part III, they call German lesbian bars. WooHoo!!
I’m so fucking confused. That is a hotmail address, a fake one and the link shows up. So, my hotmail account doesn’t work. My yahoo account doesn’t work. My gmail account works and this fake hotmail account works. Basically, all my fake addys work but the real ones don’t with the exception of google. wordpress and God hate me.
Nice looking wavatar though… what do you guys think?
More retardala posting… sorry, folks…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZwwqp3FAfg
Ha–GA saying “lick my clit”–if only.
I like that wavatar Nun–my favorite, even better than your blue spiky lint. It’s the strong background that does it.
Mention of GA reminds me, where has Zeus got to?
testing and spamming God’s Holy Blog… I hate doing this, He’s going to kick my ass.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZwwqp3FAfg
I love the way she says it with a German accent. Watch the one where they call the bars and the shit Norton has her say. I love them both. I wonder if either one of them loves the chiba.
.
.
.
Man, it’s going to be hard remembering a fake email address when I delete my cookies. At least people can still rub the spot between my two most southern tips with this wavatar.
Rub my spot, Smoggy!! DO IT NOW!!
I wish this wavatar wasn’t pink though. Pink is a stupid color for girlie-girls, flamers and brain-damaged preppies. Blech.
don’t worry about being pink nun–I gave your little pointy bits a secret rub and you turned an alluring shade of violet (um, and then I think you squirted)
Nun loves big balls…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dc5JlYrpwjk
and I would so fuck that guy.
Smoggy,
You, sir, are a pervert! You can rub my southernly points anytime you want.
yippee…I’ll go find my umbrella
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdMGR_kig1A
lol… wtf…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZBJ1duVZl4
This chick says “oh my god” the first time she falls. I’ll bet Bridgette would have read Leviticus to her if she’d been there.
My kids are addicted to wipeout–they never miss it. The sucker punch wall is almost as good as one of God’s smitings.
Is it too late for me to help Cracka? Cuz I’m gonna look up the research now.
Okay. I may look 27, but I’m actually older. So I stink at links. But here’s the key words:
Ronnie Polaneczky
Michael Steele
Philadelphia Daily News
2006
Steele’s campaign paid homeless people from Philadelphia to ride a bus to Baltimore on election day 2006. They were told to “hand out fliers” at the polling places in 100 percent Democratic Baltimore.
Sorry I can’t do better for ya Cracka. If you need to have some squirrels dressed and fried, this hillbilly gal is up to that.
Cracka’s probably as drunk as I am, which is not good news for the liberal contingent.
Dear God
Dude you totally suck for not forgiving me when I confessed my sins and everything. Well if that the way your going to be like that then I have a few other things I’d like to get of my chest. And these are all about how I became a rich bastard, ahahaha.
1. Selling braille bibles to poor blind school children in Gary, Indiana, Japanese braille bibles.
2. Publishing Richard Dawkin’s “The God Delusion”.
3. Auctioning of pieces of the true cross on eBay which, were in fact, the charred remains of a missionary.
Hey, If I’m going to Hell I may as well go in style.
You’re not doing it right Jello. Those pussy things won’t bother God anymore than flies bother Australians. God’s greatest anger is reserved for sexual misdemeanors. Let me help you.
God, Jello became a rich bastard (ahahaha) by:
1. Selling his body to rich white men in Gary, Indiana, and letting them do double anal on him.
2. Publishing Paris Hilton’s home-made porn, and offering it at cut-rates to abstinence-only virgins.
3. Auctioning off his wife and daughters eBay and saying they were in fact the virgin slaves of a missionary.
There, you see, that will get you really smited. And if you got yourself a sex change to become a large breasted women, and had your amputated nuts turned into communion wafers, you’d be well on the way to the hottest room in hell.
This is probably why I love aliens…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4VNMERVsC4
http://www.drunkensquirrel.net/v/1105
SNAP
This is why I love you G. Hang Bill Gates by the balls.
Amen.
NUN!…this is your friend Smoggy here…don’t refill the glass! Instead, put the cap on the bottle, put the bottle in the cupboard, turn off the computer, use the bathroom, brush your teeth and…
GO…TO…BED!
(if you’re sober enough, you can use your buzzy wee friend before visiting sleepy-dream-land)
Uppity Cracka,
You are welcome.
The first rich bastard to go to the smiting wall will be:
Warren Buffett with $62.0 billion
The second rich bastard to go to the smiting wall will be:
Carlos Slim Helu with $60.0 billion
The third rich bastard to go to the smiting wall will be:
William Gates III with $58.0 billion
The fourth rich bastard to go to the smiting wall will be:
Lakshmi Mittal with $45.0 billion
The fifth rich bastard to go to the smiting wall will be:
Mukesh Ambani with $43.0 billion
The sixth rich bastard to go to the smiting wall will be:
Anil Ambani with $42.0 billion
The seventh rich bastard to go to the smiting wall will be:
Ingvar Kamprad with $31.0 billion
The eighth rich bastard to go to the smiting wall will be:
KP Singh with $30.0 billion
The ninth rich bastard to go to the smiting wall will be:
Oleg Deripaska with $28.0 billion
The tenth rich bastard to go to the smiting wall will be:
Karl Albrecht with $27.0 billion
The 5,678,922nd rich bastard to go to the smiting well will be:
Smoggy Batzrubble with seven sheep
…sob…
I meant “smiting WALL”
Oh God, please do not smite YOUR servant Smoggy. I will get rid of all my sheep I promise (except for the young one with the firm teets)…sob…
Fear not, Smoggy Batzrubble,
the Almighty Destroyer has heard Your prayer and sent me to reassure you that this is a long list and we are only averaging a few smites an hour. It will be a few hundred years before we get to you.
You mean you’re not going to smite me for my wealth for a few hundred years?
correct…we have bigger fish to smite first
…and I won’t die until you get around to smiting me?
CORRECT!
Weren’t you listening? Are you as stupid as your name?
…even if I lived a life of sin and debauchery, and had orgies, and virgins, and did anal and all that stuff you wouldn’t smite me?
I DON’T INTEND TO SMITE YOU FOR A FEW HUNDRED YEARS!
BUT ASK ME ONE MORE FUCKING QUESTION AND I’LL MAKE A FUCKING EXCEPTION AND SMITE YOU FOR BEING AN IGNORANT NEW ZEALAND FUCKWIT!!
sorry…sorry…I promise I won’t bother you anymore.
..I’ve got some hookers to ring…
Good, no more need to be said.
Oh…and Batzrubble…
Yes Specialist Smiting Angel?
Congratulations on getting the 200th post.
FACE!!
God,
What technique did Cracka use when he kissed Your Heavenly Ass? I would like to know so my Seahawks can win too.
Way to make them think You were going to take the win away from them, though. You Devious Deity, You.
aww… fuck. I was too slow in my posting.
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!
This blog is so boring when all the Americans are asleep. I feel like I’m talking to myself!
Smoggy is going home.
Don’t you sleep Nun?
YoYo - disregard this comment.
holy crap, God changed his post again. new picture, and he added in an entire new paragraph next to scrooge. God, how many times do you alter reality on earth and we just don’t know it? is that why some people feel like a girl trapped inside a man’s body? because 5 minutes ago they were a girl in another reality and you changed it? thanks.
Don’t blame sleeping Americans for talking to yourself, Smoggy. We all know you did it before you found this blog.
Yeah, God. I didn’t covet the ugly-assed house. But that boat, well … I would like to have that. Lead me not into temptation.
I wonder if that’s God’s yacht. Come on, we all know He has one.
God is a Divine Conundrum, Ben. He works in mysterious ways. Note He has given this blog a mortal timestamp as if He lived in Morocco or some crazy shit like that yet He pays enough attention to American Football to let Cracka’s Vikings win.
Saints should have won that game though.
God-188.
thanks for changing Your Infinite Mind about smiting the vikings.
I knew that was you, Sir!! my buddies were all, ‘antoine winfield is the man’ and ‘we deserve a lucky win’ and ‘this is payback for the indy game’…but, i knew better. “heathens!! knowest thou not that this is the work of the One True God?!!! knowest thou not that God’s Divine Blog is the only way to pray for such merciful favors?!!!!!!!
seriously though, how did they win and who punts to reggie bush three times in a row?
Cracka - It took all of My Infinite Powers to give that victory to your woeful Viking football team. Their coach is an idiot. I hand to rewind reality several times and retry to give them that 3-point win. It wasn’t easy. But you deserve it.
thank You, oh Mighty One. our coach’s idiocy is a subject of much concern and bewilderment here. but i place my faith in You, Master.
Amen.
Cracka, I emerged from my Valium haze long enough last evening to leave you a few links for your debate with the devil. Find at #180.
The fairies told me to do this for you.
so, baltimore really is like they say it is on ‘the wire’? that’s good to know. maybe i’ll move to baltimore.
she doesn’t live in baltimore…i thought she said she lives in south jersey. which makes her a rich! burn her!
the story, benny, #180. fuck, you know what? shut up, nebiliah.
oh ok. yeah. don’t waste your vote cracka, no matter the outcome of that debate. vote for kucinich.
shit. the debate’s in the bag. this state is already going obama. so, i’m voting nader to voice my opinion that our country needs a third party to gain power soon or we will never rise above this base level political dialogue and inaction.
anyway, that’s the real me.
cracka says: vote mccain or the mexicans will steal your job!!!
south jersey rich? where do you get these stereotypes from? Camden is south jersey, once the murder capital of the US. Camden is more like the Wire’s Baltimore than Baltimore.
God,
I try not to ask You for much, but I am up for a pretty important job. It does not pay a lot, as You already know, but it would be great for my career. Can I please have Your blessing, and get the job? If I get it I can bring more attention to Your divine blog.
You humble servant,
Josh
Your career will probably never bring you big money unless you decide to go the route of Carlos Mencia and suck somebody’s cock.
josh is willing to do whatever God asks of him, nun. now, for josh’s educational benefit, please describe your technique in careful detail, step by step, don’t leave anything out.
damn, i’m original.
I’d much rather show Josh in the flesh. That way he gets hands on training and you don’t get a free show. Pervert.
Nun,
Rock and Chappelle have made it big, I mean Chappelle did kinda “emulate” Tony Woods, but Rock did it all with his own style. Granted he had some of the best luck in the business (not discounting his hard work) to get him into the spot light.
I just keep at it, work hard, and hopefully God will bless me.
you sure are! a heh heh…
Josh - I will grant your request, for you have long been a humble and faithful servant unto Me. Bless you.
Rock and Chappelle were blessed by God. I wish you only the best. You know better than any of us how hard it is to get a break in that industry.
Hey, God. Why the hate on the Seahawks? What did I do to You, God?
Besides the whole yelling at the Almighty thing from last week. And besides the fact that I have mucho sex without being married. And besides the fact that I have evil cats. And besides the fact that I’m a woman with a vagina.
Thank you God Almighty!!!
Nun,
On a related note (since you brought up Mencia and sucking cock) in NYC there are some ladies who will suck your dick for stage time!!! How crazy is that. Some on the women will fuck you too if they think it will give them opportunities. It’s that serious out here.
i think you left out your free fellatio lessons.
Hmm….way to go Josh. i guess using your full tongue on God’s balls works. Gobble gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble!
Ben is just jealous because God hates him.
I made a very early venture into the entertainment industry and realized very quickly that it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. People think it’s dog-eat-dog in their careers but they have no idea.
Oh Ben Passmore,
Haven’t you been reading the divine blog? God wants us to kis His ass, that’s what the Bible is all about. And rightfully so. He gave us life. A little ass kissing is in order.
pretty much.
God, have i told you lately that you’re the best God EVER?!!!
Josh:
re #232, thank you for pointing that out. I live just outside Camden.
And good luck with your job prospects. Don’t forget to thank God profusely if it works out. He has a big ego.
Anne,
you live just outside Camden? and you’re white? and you’re still alive?
My Druid Gods and Goddesses would help Josh without any need for affirmation or payment. Just saying.
Josh, I teach kids from Camden. Granted it’s a magnet school. But I love them, even the ones who give me shit.
this is what’s wrong with our education system right here; instead of teaching kids that the world is 6,000 yrs old and america is everybody’s favorite, we’re teaching them that fairies get mad and untie your shoe laces.
Lately I’ve been laid up at home. But I’m not particularly afraid of Camden. I’m not a cop or a snitch, I’m an aging white woman who’s clearly not in the chips. The people in Camden have been pretty nice to me. It was the same in Detroit, mostly.
Cracka, do you think I’d be dumb enough to talk about fairies around my students? SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE! It’s a public school. NO RELIGION ALLOWED.
I did ask them once how many of them believed that God created the world in six days. Half of them raised their hands. I let it drop. I wasn’t teaching biology … thank the fairies.
snitches get stitches
I’ve decided to buy stock in Ramen noodles and Campbell’s Soup. Both are cheap foods, we’ll see more consumption of them as the economy circles the drain.
Anyone got other stock tips?
Take up an illegal trade.
“Take up an illegal trade.”
I lost money on the male prostitute trade.
Wegman’s. How far and wide are these damn stores stretching now? Anyone here seen a Wegman’s? It’s like a Home Depot for food. I don’t shop there, can’t afford it, but when I drive by the parking lot is packed.
#258: So how did that work, Yo Yo? You blew money on advertising and didn’t get any business? Or you had to offer refunds to dissatisfied customers?
anne: Both!
One customer paid by check, I complained, “Hey, this is just the stub!” “Tit for tat” was the reply.
(Josh & Cracka, yeah, it’s another dusty joke from the vault.)
my opinion of Anne has changed, before I thought she was just a wackadoo who believed in fairies.
but i respect anyone who would go into Camden to teach kids, being a teacher is hard enough, but going to Camden to do it is a big risk. try not to get shanked Anne.
Invest in dogfood
We’ll all be eating it next year
Jim Cramer says so
Never seen or heard of Wegman’s up here.
Paganism is a curious religion based on nature. We all shouldn’t be so quick to judge. My ma, the one who married a baptist pastor is now a pagan who believes in dragons. She might be a bit daft but she also might have a more open mind than I.
catmantoad is Baal? Aaiieeee!!
Baal looks a lot like Christiane Bale.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baal_(demon)
I think Baal looks a little like Orlando Bloom. Who’s the cutie with the distinguished profile, Baal?
Despite being created by a government with an obviously Christian agenda, most bloodvarks ended up being Wiccan.
Nun,
You must be thinking of Cliff Simon, the hunky South African athlete / actor. He looks a lot like me.
Baal is God’s first-born. Baal’s mom — God’s ex — is Asherah. I’m not making this stuff up. It’s what the archeologists have found out from Canaanite digs.
Josh, I don’t worry about getting shanked. I actually think I’m safer in a Camden magnet school than in some of the all-white high schools that are full of quiet psychopaths.
Baal is God’s first born??!!?? The BVM isn’t going to be too happy about that!!
Bloodvork, which government? Or is that a secret?
the American one, duh.
Still no help - the government we all see and (fnord) fear, or the dark, secret government, that we feel and (fnord) fear? (fnord)
what does fnord mean?
Shut up, Benny.
cracka, here’s a good reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fnord
shut up, ben-neb-nebiliah-mccain-benny-nebby-benjamin-dead ben-raped and almost dead ben-blanco.
cracka, here’s something from wikipedia:
Fnord is the typographic representation of disinformation or irrelevant information intending to misdirect, with the implication of a conspiracy. The word was coined as a nonsensical term with religious undertones in the Discordian religious text Principia Discordia (1965) by Kerry Thornley and Greg Hill, but was popularized by The Illuminatus! Trilogy (1975) of satirical conspiracy fiction novels by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson.
In these novels, the interjection “fnord” is given hypnotic power over the unenlightened. Under the Illuminati program, children, while still in grade school, are taught to be unable to consciously see the word “fnord”. For the rest of their lives, every appearance of the word subconsciously generates a feeling of uneasiness and confusion, and prevents rational consideration of the subject.
So, our government is injecting the word everywhere, causing us to feel uneasiness, and thus keep us under control.
“To see the fnords means to be unaffected by the supposed hypnotic power of the word or, more loosely, of other fighting words. The phrase “I have seen the fnords” was famously graffitied on a railway bridge (known locally as Anarchy Bridge) between Earlsdon and Coventry (U.K.) city centre throughout the 1980s and 1990s, until the bridge was upgraded. The bridge and the phrase were mentioned in the novel A Touch of Love by Jonathan Coe. Fnord was also graffitied all over the state of Maine and New England.”[1]
I dunno why they said Maine and New England - last I checked, we’re part of New England.
STFU, Ben-Her.
that’s ridiculous.
I’m so freaked out right now and I don’t even know why.
See? SEE? It works!
What’s ridiculous? Maine/NE? Fnord?
yup.
yoyo, do you talk like that old guy in pet sematary?
Now you understand why my wavatar looks so frightened.
I’M FREAKIN’ OUT!!
haha! i guess i do!
quick nun…change into one of your relaxed wavatars
nun can’t find her spare batteries
We always laugh when we see actors trying to a Maine accent - I suppose any region does the same. “Murder, She Wrote” was one of the worst offenders.
Got to go, til tomorrow.
P.S. I went to college, most of my accent drifted south, to my chagrin. Now I sound like I’m from below Bawston.
go and fnord yourself
Ayuh
You think you’ve got accent problems yo mama — I swallow my vowels, speak in a flat nasal tone, don’t finish words with hard consonants and come from the land of the “high rising terminal”
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_rising_terminal
Yo - interesting lesson on “fnord”. I’m going to start using that term.
Cracka, you forgot to tell Pirate McCain to STFU. Arrr! or whatever.
huh?
Damn. I wasn’t even paying attention. Nice job, Josh.
Yo doesn’t know what “south” sounds like. Try being a hillbilly from Appalachia. Even Tennesseans make fun of me.
Cracka - “yoyo, do you talk like that old guy in pet sematary?”
You mean the judge from My Cousin Vinny?
My wavatar and Curtis’ wavatar are twins.
Curtis has the stoned wavatar.
nice catch josh
Nun, that’s actually ironic seeing how much you love your sweet chiba, isn’t it?
Since we’re twins now, do we have that spooky psychic thing going for us or at least a secret language that only you and I understand?
Gooya, Curtis. Gooya.
mya, mya choo choo, Nun.
Excellent! I’ve always wanted to be a twin.
Mosa mi!!
don’t whine to me about accents. i’ve managed to urbanize mine away. fargo? kind of, but they did it wrong. my wife’s family lives 1 1/2 hours from the canadian border. the “iron range” (nothin’ stranger than a ranger). they turn the word wow into a four syllable word. i think charlize did a movie about them.
She did and the ‘iron range’ was none too impressed with it either.
oh, i know. somehow that movie made the range (as we call it) seem even more depressing than it really is. apparently woody harrelson is a cool guy to drink with. he used to hang at the bar and play pool all night with the hicks. method acting, i guess. God, next time i’m any where near charlize can You have her sleep with me, please? i don’t know if that’s asking too much after last night’s Divine Intervention but, hell, i’m only asking, right?
I would so love to hang with Woody Harrelson and smoke a little chiba. He loves the chiba too.
he certainly does. he was quite fond of our homegrown kind; “northern lights” in particular.
nun, when do you guys harvest the mushrooms out there. i, uh, want to, uh, make a…mushroom…pizza, i guess.
We Pagans all know about Robert Anton Wilson, fnord, and the Illuminati. They teach us about it in Pagan School so we can protect ourselves from outbreaks of witch-hunting.
debates tonight anyone?
Depends on the ’shroom, Cracka but it’s getting close to that time.
Only if McCain calls Obama a nigger. Otherwise, it’s just a waste of time that would be better spent fucking and smoking chiba.
ooooh, mad season.
the debate tonight should be an ass kicking, but it will probably be a tie. i think mccain will reeeeally want to fly into a fit of rage, but hold it in. i think obama will play not to lose for the next 4 weeks. probably the right move. let the righties look more and more desparate on their own while you pretend to take the high road out of ‘respect for the american people’ or something like that that no smart person would ever believe.
i could be wrong. often am. ask mrs cracka.
h-h-hey bee-eee-ee-e-e-e-e-e-en.
whaaaaaat?!
He likes you.
ben, shut up, you’re being called out.
the battle of so called wits.
in this corner we have the jew, founder of such classics as “FACE!” and “shut up, cooper” and “josh is a faggot”
in that other corner we have ben, the guy who keeps showing up despite the face he is constantly being told to shut up
let’s not have a good clean fight
“fact” not “face”
yeah I want McCain to loose it on the mic, and call Obama every racial epithet in the book. I wish for nigger but more so for coon. dune coon would be even better.
what are you talking about white guy? jew just said hello, he didn’t call me out.
you need to chillax, bitch.
just trying to stir up some shit, benjamin, so please, by all means, feel free to shut up.
no, you shutup! you instigator. just like the white man to try and pit the jews against the awesome. you fucking honkee.
why don’t you go suck adrian peterson’s dick some more.
COCK!
go suck an egg.
are you talking to me, or that hippie cracka?
that was funny, considering Benny is a hippie and wouldn’t hurt a fly.
even though I have told Ben to shut up, and even shut the fuck up, when he doesn’t post I miss the little bugger.
now shut up Ben.
you. sit on it, potsie.
i will not shutup! i am sick AND tired of being told to shutup. NOW YOU WILL ALL WILL SHUT THE FUCK UP!
as to you jew, go screw.
hey ben…
go fly a kite!
Hey Benny,
Can you post more as Pirate McCain?
Arrrrgggg! Ack! Ack! Ack!
go stick it in your ear, ben!!
hey ben, how bout to take a long walk off a short pier!
These are all very serious allegations being thrown about.
Cracka,
In your pockets with red hot rockets!
Jew,
Up your nose with a rubber hose!
using these lame put downs is not only fun but extremely gay! and not gay in the way two dudes get it on, but like a 7 year old boy who just put his finger in his own butt hole and then smelled it.
i have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about Josh. gah!
ben: why don’t you go practice your flagpole sitting
josh: you’re a faggot
Jew: you’re a Jew.
YAR! I’M A GONNA WIN THE DEBATE! ACK ACK ACK
Bloodvork’s wavatar looks like it has something seriously wrong with it.
I liked the original one I had, but I wanted something more representative of my heritage.
Yessss!
Pirate McCain returns!!!
hey ben, you play ball like a GIRL!!!!
YAR!
So, is that blood coming out of your ripped open asshole?
Nun, I think that’s his snout and he’s sucking up some blood…
oh. yeah. where is that blood coming from? haha. his asshole.
Really? It looks like somebody didn’t use enough lube.
I don’t know what picture you’re looking at. It’s clearly a bloodvark version of my old avatar. It just has a pipe shaped snout with a long tongue.
lube is going to get a lot more expensive now that we’ve reached peak oil
hey cracka,
up your ass with broken glass!
i think bloodvork is menstruating…is s/he secretly a girl? God will be pissed if she’s’s been secretly passing himself off as male when there’s a vagina hidden there.
shes’s’s’s’s’s’s’s’s
JESUS!
jesus!
Sure, Bloodvork. Whatever you say it is. We all know what it really looks like. You anal-loving vagina.
Yes?
Speaking of vaginas…Nun has THE prettiest love-glove I have every seen!!
I go for one lousy afternoon meeting (stupid job) and y’all are at each others throats.
Can’t we all sit around a camp fire and sing Kum By Ya?
Jesus!
Sarah Palin is going to shoot my snake!
WHAT?! Everybody keeps axing for Me and shit, what do you muffukkin’ bitches want?!
What can I do for you Evangelist Curtis?
Potif, Curtis.
Alter Boy is right, he’s actually seen it.
Jesus,
I thought you promised your Dad that you wouldn’t act like a homo thug? Lying to God is not a good idea.
As God is my witness, feel free to back me up Big Guy, her rack is incredible!
Jesus,
I’d like my stock portfolio to get better so that I can still retire at 87 years of age. Pretty please? I’d as your Dad, but He’s been a bit crabby lately.
You should also let them know how unfair it is that I haven’t seen your cock.
God probably has His money in the stock market.
Jesus, does your middle finger smell of poo?
Bad Jesus, bad! Do you want another crucifixion?
Don’t make me take you over my knee, Jesus.
I wonder if Jesus is into that kind of thing. If Anne was a boy, of course.
Actually I think a little Druidism is the perfect solution for Jesus’ issues. Come on, Jesus dear. Let’s go in the woods and hug a tree, drink some mead, and plan for the coming PALIN MASSACRE…..
Josh, you are right. I did indeed promise Dad to curb my thuggish-ruggish ways.
Curtis, you are asking me for help with money? I was never good at that kind of thing. Got busted for tax evasion five times when I was on Earth.
Besides, as my father said in this very post, your idolatrous worship of shekels will only lead to your destruction! A retirement home will be plenty good enough when you are that old, trust me. Anyway, I don’t want to hear your complaints about your fate. It’s still better than dying on a cross.
Pat Robertson’s finger smells like poo. You can catch him sniff it on air frequently. He thinks he’s getting away with it, but he’s just not as sly as he used to be. When he closes his eyes REALLY tight he thinks nobody else can see him. He thinks he’s traveling to his own spiritual realm where he can smell his finger all he wants in peace and quiet. We should all write him very polite letters reminding him that we can see him sniffing his poo finger.
Ha!
Yes, Pat Robertson does have a poo finger! He lives to stick his finger up the smelly bottoms of his ‘700 Club’ members. And all the sad losers who belong to the 700 Club have to stick their fingers up the bottoms of other members.
And now ANNE JOHNSON has joined the 700 Club. http://stuffgodhates.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/confess/#comment-12204
Why, Anne? Why?
(ps you’d better wash your finger before you start typing ClubberJohnson)
Poor Smoggy. Thought he had such a winner with getting Anne to do the 700th post. But alas, there’s no foul odors clinging to Goddess Annie, nor even unto her upholstery! Annie of the Pristine Hands knows and adores basic hygiene.
Tag. Smoggy’s It.
All I gots to say is some people here need to learn how to wash their assholes.
And I hate SciFi for taking away my daily viewing of The X-Files. Damn you, SciFi!! DAMN YOU!!
If Bloodvarks could reproduce, I’d name my firstborn Fox.
Fox is kind of a cool name. What happened to your shattered rectum, Bloodvork?
Has anybody noticed that the youngster named Dean from the Philippines has not posted since God told him he asked dip-shitty questions? 13 year olds are notoriously moody but I hope God didn’t hurt his feelings.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081003/sc_nm/us_ignobels;_ylt=Ai3ckTx0WvkDsvWgL_urW1UiANEA
Son of a whore!! I drink Coke like Anne drinks Tab. What the fuck am I putting in my gut?!
- Original email is not letting me post links again. I don’t fucking get it!!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081007/ap_on_re_eu/eu_iceland_meltdown;_ylt=ApDrKL95U98yheH_iZZMAKC9IxIF
Shit.
I can’t post fucking links again!!
I’m old school, Nun. I’d rather see your gorgeous blue sunny avatar than follow a link. I don’t even like the Curtis Twin one as much as this one!
God lives to hurt people’s feelings. Witness: The Roman Catholic Church.
Nun, I believe that so many have been damaged by the bitter and divisive comments on this blog. Haven’t you noticed the number of posters who venture onto the board once and never return? I propose a moratorium for the next 30 days on name calling. For the next month no one should be labeled a terrorist, or a muslim, or an angry old cunt who is knocking on death’s door, or a thick Alaskan bitch with less brains than a swamp rat.
… which is big in the Philippines. Some pedophile priest probably caught poor Dean looking at this site and punished him accordingly.
Smoggy’s lurking. He wants to claim 400…
You know what mean name is under-used? MORON. Smoggy, you’re a moron.
Let us all be kind to one another
In order to worship God, you need a thick skin. Because who else tells you that you’re born nasty?
Let us all pray together.
I’ll be kind to you, Smoggy, if you send me a case of Antipodes sparkling spring water.
Clubber Annie, I love you in the Lord.
Let us pray: O Great Goddess, creatress of the universe, protect and preserve us from snake-shooting pit bulls with lipstick!
sparkling, not still. Still is good, but sparkling is better, even though they add the carbonation.
Awww…fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’re a pagan bitch with a faerie fetish…I’m not playing anymore.
It’s an unfair contest trying to post from the other side of the world. God should move his blog to NZ!!!
You didn’t even realise you had 400 did you?
Bloody pagans…worse than Alaskans
Smoggy, I’m trying to figure out how I could be “in the Lord.” HE could be in ME, but I’m a chick! I’m not gonna dildo God!
Yes, I saw the little 4-0-0-
It’s the Gods’ gift because Sarah shot my snake.
Wanna make Goddess Annie sit up and beg, Smoggy? I’m not kidding about the Antipodes sparkling spring water. I’ll bet you know what I’m talking about. It comes in clear glass bottles.
I would seriously shag you and do an orgy with your sheep if I could get my hands on Antipodes sparkling spring water. They don’t market it here in the U.S.
When Christian Fundies say “I love you in the Lord” they really mean that they hate your guts, but because their twisted creed tells them they’re supposed to love everyone they love you ‘in the Lord’ because in person they’d like to disembowel you and eat your viscera. It’s classic hypocrisy. It’s also used to blow off unwanted suitors e,g,
“I love you Nun…let’s do the kama sutra”
“I love you too Smoggy, but I love you in the Lord (and that’s why I’m off to fuck Zeus)”
The evil evolutionist PZ Myers gets screeds of Christian hatemail, in which they often say that as Christians they love him and pray for him, but as individuals they hope he dies painfully and that someone rapes his children. Ya see?
WHERE is ZEUS???
ZEUS is a MOOSE, trying to shag Palin!
On that note I must toddle. I am totally serious about the spring water, Smoggy.
NUN IS BITTER AND ANGRY!!
.
.
.
Anne will fuck you for water, Smoggy. That’s pretty fuckin’ cool!!
Go to their web site Anne and click through their delivery page to the US distributor and order some:
http://www.antipodeswater.co.nz/
http://www.antipodeswater.co.nz/delivery.html
Cool enough nun…but I wouldn’t waste money on the fucking water myself. Our Consumer org did a test and found that on the whole our tap water is equivalent to a lot of expensive bottled waters, and it costs nothing.
Same with our bottled waters. I suspect that Anne may want the water because of where it’s coming from but I could be wrong.
In fairness, I should say that Antipodes water wasn’t one they tested.
Someone should warn Anne to be careful. God intends to smite the really rich cunts who burn money on over-priced, snobbish bottled water while other people die for want of clean water. What do you think is going to happen to Madonna, after God’s smiting angel reads this story?
http://www.forbestraveler.com/food-drink/bottled-water-story-1.html
I was just trying to give you a useless hard-on, Smoggy. The only thing I could think of was a high-end bottle of water I saw in a restaurant in Philly.
*snicker* Smoggy thought he had to explain to me what “love you in the Lord” meant. My sister’s a fundie! Oh please. She loves her pastor “in the Lord because” his wife watches him so closely. Otherwise it might be a different preposition.
I hate Pirate McCain. He’s a traitor to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Ramen.
I’ve never had a useless hard-on Annie. All my hard-ons are God-given and all are used and useful (although there was that one in the swimming pool when I was 15 that could have come at a better time).
And you don’t fool me, i know you’re a consumer of meaningless high-end bottled water and are single-handedly responsible for global warming (you and your pixies).
Still, I don’t bear a grudge, even if you are a pagan, I, as one of God’s faithful followers, will do my best to love you in the Lord.
what a crap debate … I hope God smites Tom Brokaw next time he talks for longer than a minute.
PS I don’t understand American very well, does “that one” mean “nigger”?
Smoggy,
I “missed” the debate. Who won?
So what the hell happened to Bridgette?
Smoggy,
Yes, “that one” = “nigger.” Thanks God!
Also, there was other bits of subtle racism in there. When McCain spoke to the young black guy, he explained the bailout by saying it would help the old white guy have his dream home, as if this was impossible for the black kid. Obama spoke to the kid and said that he could have his own dream home.
I wonder, did anyone else pick up on that?
Hi Tony,
I only caught snippets and various blogs. According to all polls Obama won. According to pundits it was more equal, but Obama stayed controlled and made some good points. The undecideds seemed to like him better. McCain didn’t tank, but nor was it a gamebreaker for him. He seemed old, tentative, angry at times and his attempts to joke fell completely flat. He couldn’t or wouldn’t meet Obama’s eye at any stage and at one point he referred to Obama as “that one” and pointed across his body at Obama without meeting his gaze. He didn’t stamp himself as an authority on national security, Obama tackled him on the economy pointing out he’d always been a deregulator, and Obama seemed almost more hawkish when it came to neutralising a potential threat.
Obama won, but I’d lie to have seen a little more fire. When he stopped mentioning McCain and started enumerating his policies and plans his rating climbed dramatically.
Thanx Smoggy
It’s refreshing to hear the news from someone way out of the spin loop.
As a supporter of small business (because all the wealthy fuckers run the big business) I say death to the rich. I also hate commercial rap artists because they only care about getting rich and stealing our bitches.
I wonder if God is a fan of robin Hood because he also hated the wealthy so much he stole from them and gave the cash to God’s chosen selection of homeless fucks?
Robin Hood wore tights…God would have smited him.
You never know what God might do, just for grins.
I’m pretty sure that yours was the first comment on this topic, since it appeared while I was working on the one that showed up second. That Tom Humes thing didn’t show up until a few hours later, but was dated earlier and bumped us both. WTF?
Yes you’re right TS. I was post number one for a while…and almost gloated about it, but fearing hubris decided not to. Thankfully, because next time I looked I’d been booted down a rung. Posts come and go on this blog–as Anne Johnson knows all too well.
McCain looked older than God. I wouldn’t mind that so much if he hadn’t chosen a proven witch-persecutor as a running mate.
I didn’t see the debates - I was on the road, and devoted my listening time to an Oldies station.
Re: bottled water: If a waiter hands me a ‘water list’ in a snooty restaurant, I’ll ask him for what’s on tap.
Bottled water is getting to be a controversy here in Maine, there’s fears some acquifers are being drained faster than they can recover.
Anne, do you worship the FSM? I’m a Pastarafian, myself.
RAmen!
BTW, I have no accent, it’s the rest of the world that has trouble enunciating properly.
I was kidding about the bottled water. In fact I just read a book about the water problems in Maine with Poland Spring. Our tap water here in NJ doesn’t kill us, it just makes us stronger.
I spent an eternity one summer at Ft. Dix, the water tasted like iron. Of course, that was the Base water, outside, it must have been better.
Our tap blood here seems of decent quality, but I don’t think its safe to consume on a daily basis.
Is that why you drink blood?
I have my own theories as to why we were designed to drink blood….
When ainime characters get sexually excited, blood spurts from their nose. Is that what’s happening to you, Bloodvork?
It is very difficult to pinpoint exactly what is bleeding on Bloodvork. Or maybe it’s the other way around … maybe he’s sucking blood in. He has the slightly dazed expression of a recreational user of pharmaceutical painkillers.
Hmmm..I wonder if Bloodvork enjoys any special types?
which was it, yoyo, an eternity or a summer?
It’s kind of hard to see since WP decides to artifact your icon when you upload it with that stupid cropping system. I guess those of us who have more than two minutes of editing experience are forced to suffer so fools can just take pictures they got off the web and didn’t size themselves.
But no, there is no blood in that picture, that’s a bloodvark snout and tongue on my old triangle guy. I don’t want to abandon the triangle just yet.
ooooooh……bloodvork has two minutes of editing experience and now he’s angry about fools…ooooooooh.
BLOOD AND TREASURE!! YAR!!
haha! you’re old!
I loves me blood and treasure….yar…can’t get enough of me blood and treasure. BUT THAT ONE!
doddering geezer with a witch-hunter as a running mate and a stoner as a wife
BLOOD AND TREASURE!
BLOOD AND TREASURE!
YAR
YAR
YAR!!
Shut up, John.
John,
Don’t listen to Anne, keep talking, just keep talking. The more you open your mouth the better Obama looks. Keep talking.
TREASURE! SWEET SWEET BEAUTIFUL TREASUURRRRE!
fact checking the debate is a one sided affair. it used to be they both kind of tweaked numbers here and there for their own benefit. now, mccain is just basically making shit up the whole time. it’s funny, i guess.
did anyone notice how mccain looked like a robot
he is a robot. what is it that you’ve been altering? not altars i hope. God hates when people fuck with his altars.
I would never fuck up His altars.
cracka asked: “which was it, yoyo, an eternity or a summer?”
Yes. Army Basic training felt like an eternity!
I was looking for the battery pack on mccains back
nun stole it for her fucking machine.
Nun has great tits
her fuck machine is hooked to a car battery
shut up, ben.
alucard’s been licking something.
I’m not alucard. i don’t know who that is.
no I am not Ben
I think it’s yoyo. either yoyo or smoggy. or maybe someone new?
hey “alucard,”
are you someone else or someone new?
Bingo yes someone new gees you guys are quick
Nun turned me on to this great blog
nun turns on a lot of suckers…then they realize she is a WHORE!!!!
regardless of who anyone is, my point stands:
shut up, ben.
DOUCHE!
i hope you are prepared to have your sense of humor insulted by josh and your intelligence insulted by ben and your sense of decency insulted by me…the list goes on.
DOUCHE!-ben is just describing the sound his ken dolls make when he pretends their imaginary penises are penetrating each other’s imaginary buttholes.
Why did Barbie get a nice rack, and Plastic Ken got NOTHING?
she didn’t have tits though.
My sister and her friends had some Barbie dolls when we were kids, the dolls often turned up naked, floating face down in the toilet.
Special times, special times.
have your penis insulted by Nun,
have your reality questioned by Anne,
Have your will tested by that Jew guy,
Where the eff are Zues, Lucy, and the rest of the lot? It looks as if God won that war.
While we are on the subject, where is Smoggy? We’re coing up on 500.
I never played with Barbie dolls, or GIJOE’s for that matter. All we had were sticks and stones to play with. As a child, I used to use my budding carpentry skills to form those sticks into little figures, and then I would bring them to life. Ah… memories.
Jesus,
My God-fearing preacher dad wouldn’t let me play with Barbie dolls. He said they were secular objects in a secular world and they would corrupt me. HA!! It wasn’t the Barbies, you freakin’ idiot!!
And yes, alucard is a real-life friend of mine. He is not Ben.
you know, i kind of miss zeus and lucifer, they were pretty funny. i’d gladly trade a number of you in for them again. ZEUS!!!!!!
LUCIFER!!!!!!!!!!
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU TO POST HERE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
really, nun? real life, huh? so, “alucard’ exactly how many men have been lost in the black hole of nun’s vagina?
alucard is dracula backwards. I’m sure most of you are smart enough to figure that one out. Cracka needs to have it explained.
I miss Zeus. Lucifer is around, he’s my friend on Facebook. Maybe he’s just busy.
“alucard is dracula backwards.”
He’s a Polish vampire? He gives blood?
With the elections coming up, Lucifer is very busy.
He is pretty retarded but he’s my best friend.
riddle time!
how do you get a one armed pollack out of a tree?
Shoot him.
yeah, nun, i know how to spell words. w-o-r-d-s, see?
WRONG!!!
answer: wave
Cut the rope.
Whoops -sorry, wrong ethnic joke.
…496
“He’s a Polish vampire? He gives blood?”
That’s good because our blood supply is low. We especially need type O negative.
let’s make this the most racist blog on the net.
WHO’S WITH ME!?
Izzat the universal donor?
500?
STFU, you stinkin’, Unpleasant, Jew.
I’m a coon-hound. In the same sense that God is poon-hound.
YES!!
…and Curtis is the winna!
Nun makes fun of me all the time I am her mexican
I’m leading a parade with cracka, we’ll all carry signs that say “Hate”.
‘ her mexican’? Why? Do you mow her lawn?
I wish I was ethnic instead of just being a minority.
racist riddle time:
what’s the nigger get for christmas?
in which sence do you mean “mow her lawn”
I saw a great Jule Feifer cartoon, first panel shows a pile of racist words, very nasty. A man leads his sweet, innocent son up to the pile, opens the back of the kid’s head, and fills it with that drek. Last panel, the man leads away his kid, head distorted and ugly looking, a mean look on his face.
alucard is my burro. He also used to work with 1013. I love him… he’s my X-Files connection.
“in which sence do you mean “mow her lawn””
A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat!
thats the only reason she keeps me around. bitch.
The Very Incredibly Unpleasant Jew, what’s the answer?
I think Alucard likes it in the butt!
Curtis, I have the same problem. On the other hand, ethnics have too much hugging and loud talk, not to mention spicy foods.
Don’t talk about my burro that way!! He likes to give it up the butt. Big difference.
WAVE!
“A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat!” shit if I’d known that you were a nigger with wings I would have winked
whoa thanks nun yeah that is a HUGE difference!
I have been paying attention when you talk about not liking that anymore. I just pretend to ignore you. Retard.
i tried posting the answer but it wouldn’t go!
hey, jew, i don’t hate you as much as i hate homosexuals and mexicans!!!
the answer is…
MY BIKE!!
BWA-HAH-HAH!!
BWA-HAH-HAH
hey, you laugh like a kike!!
Nun, do you call him your Mexican because he’s small and hairless?
Cracka, you do NOT hate homosexuals. You love us and you know it.
I hate homosexuals–but I like straight men who enjoy mano-a-mano butt-fucking and cock-sucking.
Smoggy, are you pitching or catching?
I’m shearing.
wow so many butt pirates! It’s like I struck gold
and no not small but yes hairless
Smoggy, go cork a sheep for Jesus!
hairless - that’s understandable if you’ve been near Nun’s vagina. All the hair burned off.
I don’t let him near my vagina, he’s a dirty Mexican. He does dream about my vagina though. He also compares every vagina he sees with my most beautiful and precious vagina.
I love my sheep in the Lord* …
.
.
… and my sheep love being in the Lord.
(*see from post 409)
Since he’s Mex, does he see the Blessed Virgin Mary’s image in your vagina’s oozing juices?
yeah I do compare all vaginas to nuns
is that where she has been hiding?
I never realized how much you shun proper grammar, alucard.
alucard, did you used to have a skit on kids in the hall?
I wonder what God does while His Jews are observing Yom Kippur.
lo siento no hablo inglés
Fucking Mexicans.
‘Fucking Mexicans.’
What else do you do, Nun?
nevermind, alucard, that wasn’t you. but, are you as creepy as THIS?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC4PjXNt2gw
Not Mexicans, Yo. Haven’t you been paying attention? Mexicans are dirty. I like big, black cock.
I’m so bitter and resentful about fucking links on this blog.
I did have a dream that nun was biting my cock the other night
what if the mexicans bathe and are endowed generously? if the penis is large, but not black, is it still acceptable? there are many fine points to clarify. what exactly is considered cunt worthy? because i have date raped that fly trap of yours and let me tell you, i don’t think you’re in a position to be picky.
oh, God, you’re just jealous!
Nun,
Are you really a coon hound? what exactly does that mean?
Is Josh the village idiot?
I’m not really a coon hound and I don’t really hate Mexicans. I sleep with men of all colors. Except Asians.
josh, it means that her vagina is so grotesque that it can scare racoons up trees.
Yet you want to date rape it every chance you get. Quit your whining, Cracka. You’ve never had my precious vajayjay and you never will.
I guard it like the hounds of hell
alucard said: “I did have a dream that nun was biting my cock the other night”
That wasna dream. Seek medical attention now!!
Now if only I could get you to show it a little love.
Homo.
Nun has Precious?….
GIVE ME PRECIOUS BACK NOW !!!!!!!!
great. alucard and curtis. next thing you know we’ll be hosting a parade here. fuck. stop having sexing with dude’s butts!!!!
nun, i don’t actually WANT to roofie you. it’s God’s voice in my head that makes me do it. He tells me all kinds of shit. kill the neighbor’s dog. eat the neighbor. date rape the neighbor’s daughter. blame Him.
Alucard,
I’m not the village idiot, I was asking a question to get people talking.
Also I’m from the north so we don’t use 60s term like coon hound or mud shark, we just say “damn that white bitch loves some black dick”
Also you can insult me all you want, you’ll still be mexican.
hey I am only half homo
Haha!! Josh FACED my burro.
Smeagol,
Come take it. You’re not Asian so I would totally do you.
half homo, half mexican? that’s it. i’m going to kill you. right after i kill all the failing stand up comedians named josh living in brooklyn i will start killing all the mexican gay-goths in the seattle area. so, i guess you got some time.
you’ve got plenty of time burro, Cracka is horrible at killing anything except his wife’s dreams of being married to a real man
heh… Josh FACED Cracka.
I aint worried about a redneck
The only thing people have to worry about Cracka is that he’ll roofie them and desperately try to get an erection so he can fuck something besides a Cheerio.
nun i think yours was more of a FACE than josh’s.
fucking a cheerio!! ha!!!!
yeah my was more of a cheek than a whole face.
I love cracka no matter how many times she tries to kill me.
well it’s trust most crackas have small dicks. Don’t blame us, bring it up with God.
hey, josh. do you remember the rocky scene where mr t was telling rocky’s wife she doesn’t know what it’s like to be with a real man? or was that comment completely unrelated?
alucard, you are thinking of mexicans and asians. i mean, if mexicans had normal sized penises they wouldn’t have to overcompensate with that weird latin macho bullshit. and asians, well, you know.
Cracka,
#576 - it’s all connected - the wire
“I love cracka no matter how many times she tries to kill me.”
i hereby retract all the FACES i have ever given you credit for until you make that joke better.
Alcura,
This one is for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbzALjQBv-I
cracka,
that was a shitty joke. I almost erased it, but l did not.
You have FACEd me by calling me on that bull shit.
Josh was FACEd!
Hey, aluc-hard-on, I have a question. Is it true that vampires only do oral when a woman has her period?
I hope you also appreciate my witty perversion of your perverted name, getting both ‘hard-on’ and (in reverse) ‘No Drahcula’ (the archaic spelling of the Count’s name) in one smooth linguistic coup that denies your identity.
Just so you know this is no shitty, bash-it-out-and-read-it-later, blog. All posts must be submitted to a minimum of 3 proofreaders.
cracka,
this is for you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zirn_xB_WMo
Haha!! Smoggy FACED my burro’s horrible grasp of the English language. Fucking sand niggers.
wow I haven’t been faced this much since the last time at the bath house
Whoa!! Give me a minute to explain FACE to my burro.
it has something to do with black men it tiny shorts.
I have explained to my burro that FACE does not mean that he had his face buried in some guy’s bunghole.
ohhh yeah totally different
Burro don’t need no stinkin’ punctuation.
yas, and if yuo don’d hafe pruof reeders, do whot i do and get yore sheip to proufreed fore yoo
there’s a count down to five hundred, I’m trying for it, who else is in?
tony snow hates these number countdowns
Yeah, burro. We all be edumacated around here and we don’t understand your Mexi-talk without a comma or two.
and it takes five minutes to get there from Noo Zillun
six to go
Me too, Smoggy!! I thought it was because burro and I are in the same establishment but he’s not getting those stupid messages. DAMN YOU, WORDPRESS!! DAMN YOU!!
come to smoggy 500
600
FAGS
AAAAARRRGGGHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK
ummm… it’s 600, Smoggy.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FACE YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL
600? Who is doing 600? I’m still on 500
It told you the internet is slow down here
the devil’s number is coming up soon again, smoily bootsmudger.
I hate wordpiss with the white hot intensity of a million and one suns. I can’t post links again and I am so despondent over that development that I shall no longer try to post links. I think God and wordpress hate me.
the devils number has your name on it already you yellow-brained nipple. God you Americans are such half-arsed flag-fuckkkking anUSheads.
Sniff…I love you guys…and I’d like to introduce you to my sheep
(yeah..hey! and one more fucking thing! …how come none of you have helped me face paganus Annie? She admitted I’d bested her by saying she’d joined the 700Club, but has one of you called her 700Annie, or ClubberJohnson, or asked her how she’s enjoying being fucked-over by Pat Robertson? NO!! You left me to sink and now she’s back gloating. Thanks very much…grumble, grumble…fucking tuggers…grumble gumble…donkey-shaggers…)
Nun, try ‘fake’ links - add in spaces, we’ll put them back in if we want to follow the link.
http:// http://www. google. com/
haven’t heard much from johnson lately.
donkey-shaggers? I’ve had my ass kicked, by never seen it shagged.
BTW, very nice witty perversion of aluc’s perverted name.
Hey, I followed your link Yo Mama, and it took me to a hidden cam in John McCain’s campaign HQ, and guess who the two men were doing a double penetration with Sarah Palin on MacNasty’s desk?
Balaam mounted his ass, and smote his ass three times, and his ass spoke to him.
Sounds like they were smoking something stronger than Nun’s chiba back then.
Who, Smoggy?
Rove and Anne Coulter…told you she was a half n’ half. Now you know where all the poison is coming from.
Gawd, I always thought Anne Cunter was a man! The Adam’s apple is a giveaway. Hate the poison-tongued adder with the white-hot intensity of a million quasars!
is nun sharing her sliding scale of celestial body based hate?
HAH! YOU FUCK!
That might make a good horror story. I could imagine it on the X Files–Sarah Palin’s body and half-brain is invaded by the evil Ann-Coulter-alien-parasite, which uses her living corpse to promote hatred and division. In the midst of ensuing riots Bush declares martial law, neighbourhoods containing Obama supporters are locked down, McCain wins and dissenters are imprisoned. The next day in a private meeting between McCain and Palin, the tiny iota of goodness left in McCain rebels at what has happened and vows to fix things. Incensed, the evil Coulter explodes out of Palin’s body, showering blood and entrails around the Oval office, burrows into McCain through his anus and eats his heart. Then the Coulter alien transforms into a Palin look alike and takes over the country, swiftly precipitating a global crisis and destruction of the human race for her lizard masters.
Thanks a lot for giving them ideas, Smog.
The evil Coulter…eats his heart.
She’d die of starvation.
I wonder if South Park would like to buy my story idea…Ann Coulter could kill Kenny as well
Don’t worry, Nun. A rag-tag band of refugees would board a variety of space-faring vessels, protected by a very old battle wagon. The battle-wagon would shepard the convoy across the Galaxy, hunting for a new planet to colonize.
I liked Firefly…any spaceship with a resident whore is good enough for me. Perhaps we could make them the rescuers.
HAHAHAHA
McCain called you his ‘fellow PRISONERS’
http://www.jedreport.com/2008/10/mccain-loses-it-calls-american.html
Only if Boomer is a black man and Starbuck is a boy, Yo.
Works for me!
Hunter’s motto. Anybody remember Hunter? I had a crush on Fred Dryer.
Yuck! Nun, you need to have your eyes checked.
fred dryer?! jesus, nun! i’m into chicks, but even as a straight man i can say for certain that fred dryer is not hot.
Shut up, fag.
nevermind. i was thinking of someone else. after googling fred dryer i realize that i have no idea who that is.
yeah, but he is still ugly.
WHORE!!!!OLD WHORE WHO REMEMBERS SHOWS FROM THE EARLY 80S!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fred Dryer played football with the Rams in the 70s. I don’t care what my burro says, I think he’s attractive. I think David Letterman is attractive too… in an odd sort of way.
I had a short stint in a secret organization a few years ago that fought against those evil lizard overlords. But their evil agenda was focused on monopolizing the waffle industry and keeping waffles all to themselves.
THOSE BASTARDS!!
bloodvork, that’s a more sinister conspiracy than the one that destroyed our economy:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/03/business/03sec.html?em
nun, i think i may have been banished to link limbo.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/03/business/03sec.html?em
In Noo Zillund they steal all the mountain oysters
Really? God hates you too. Welcome to the club.
damn word press!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
I thought Stepfanie Kramer was hot as hell, but what did I know I was like 2. I always got her and the big boobed woman from Swamp Thing confused.
Adrienne Barbeau is the chick from Swamp Thing… she has massive titties. Stepfanie Kramer is a beautiful woman and props to Josh for spelling her name correctly.
no props to me Nun, the props should go to IMDB.com and copy+paste
I should have known. Nobody spells her name right.
i vaguely remember hunter now.
google image: adrienne barbeau
and, yes, those were some beautiful, natural breasts.
furthermore, might i add: fuck off.
to whomever it may concern,
fuck off.
sincerely,
uppity cracka.
Nun,
seriously who spells Stephanie with a “P” and an “F”?
oh gross. Nun just puked!
Stepfanie Kramer’s retarded momma. Just a thought.
Shut up, burro!! If I did puke it’s because I looked at your ugly mug. Ugh, can’t you get a different face or something?
yes, burro, chew off your face!!!
then stretch your ass skin over your head to reveal your new ass-face!
this burro has the face of an ass.
how does your face taste, clarice?
alucard, the homo ass faced burro!!
Hey!! I’m the only one that gets to demean my burro for his ugliness.
well, if that was your arrangement, why in the hell would you bring him here?
yeah, tell him to shut up and fuck off
You Americans are all sitting up getting drunk aren’t you? Meanwhile some of us are working…not drinking…except a cup of joe.
(fuck, that’s one americanism I really hate–fucking manhattan transfer)
555
oh smoggy
666
It’s boring here…i can’t get drunk…
hey cracka! go back and look at 600!
You think that’s interesting, Smoggy? Go back and look at post 1 and 2. What the fuck!?!
Wow! God really does move in mysterious ways–Smoggy gets 1 AND 600. He must have appreciated my 700Club attack on pagan Annie even if you other bastards didn’t.
God,
I know You have no use for money but I also know that You demand it from Your Flock. I don’t know if You have some Divine Bank in Heaven or what have You but I do hope You didn’t have any of Your money in Iceland.
The UK has filed a suit against Iceland on behalf of 300,000 Britons who lost their money in the Icelandic banks. Yesterday, Icelandic banks were looking at bankruptcy and today they’re being sued for not having their clients’ money. I’d say bankruptcy is just a formality at this point. I’d post a link but I’d actually like people to see this post.
Domino effect. We’re fucked, it’s just a matter of time.
Yep…it’s all crashing down! Subsistence here we come.
This must be that CHANGE thing that Rocky O and Johnny Mac keep talking about.
Hiro Nakamura is my role model. He doesn’t give a shit about his newly acquired fortune.
If you definitely want a passive residual earnings source that functions, then you’ll need not look anywhere else.
When o when will Donald Trump finally get his smitation? It’s long overdue. I vote for the “sudden gang raping by a roving pack of homeless homosexuals”.
Lord, when mr Trump appears at Your Gates could you tell him “you’re fired!” and kick his ass down to Hell? Thank you.