Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
I am the Lord Almighty; I am the Light of the World and The Ultimate Goodness; more Perfect than your feeble human brain could ever conceive; I made the world and all the creatures in it; I have watched over, loved and protected you all of your life.
Yet despite all that I have done for each and every one of you, there are still some humans who have the effrontery to not even believe in Me! In the parlance of modern times, these ‘people’ are called atheists, but to me they are just demonic zombie heathen scum that are best dispatched with a shotgun round to the head.
Satanic atheist creatures of the night have no morals and cannot be trusted. They break into Christian homes at night. They perform abortions on unwilling pregnant mothers and then eat the aborted babies.
Because they do not believeth in Me or My 10 Commandments, by default, they embrace evil. These atheist cannibal monsters believe that if you can get away with it, it must be ok. They regularly burn down churches, rape the retarded, rob the elderly, murder the suicidal, torture the crippled, kidnap the poor, lie, cheat and do drugs. And when they run out of dead babies to eat, they turn on each other for sustenance.
Without My Ultimate and Perfect Moral Authority governing their minds, these former humans commit all manner of atrocity. Some of the most evil people in the history of the world were devout atheists: Adolph Hitler, Joey Stalin, Napoleon Bonaparte, Charles Darwin, Benjamin Franklin, Helen Keller, Ghandi, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, John Lennon – need I go on? Take a good, long look at that list. Easily some of the most despicable wretches to ever walk the face of My green earth.
This barely needs pointing out, but no one who ever believethed in Me and had morals ever committed evil of any kind. Go ahead and investigate yourself. Search the internet. Ask a friend. Open up the encyclopedia if you have to. There has never once been one recorded instance in the history of humanity of a devout Christian, Jew or Muslim committing an evil deed. Not once!
Also, unlike My Followers (who are decent people who fear Me and just try to raise their families and live a good life), drug-addled atheist savages are universally arrogant pricks who force their idiotic non-beliefs down other people’s throats without provocation. Alas, if only My People were as self-righteous and condescending as atheists are, there would be no atheist serpents left.
These atheist fiends are merely servants of the dark one, Satanus*. As he instructs them to do, they commit the most evil act of all by continually pestering My Followers with logic-based questions. Why must they do this?!
Do they not see the proof of My Existence all around them? In the beautiful sky and land? In the birds that flutter in the summer air? Or in the perfect breasts of a maiden fair? As any fool knows, something cannot come from nothing. Just as a house is made by a carpenter, I made the world. To this the atheist says; “then who made you God?” To which I reply, “MY PARENTS, DINGUS!”
The atheist cretin tries to pin all the evil in the world wrought by Satanus on Me. The dark lord has mighty powers too, powers that I struggle everyday to contend with. Just recently Satanus made a plane crash into a field, killing 143 passengers and crew. I managed to save one child with only third-degree burns and a couple of lost limbs. But do I get any credit for My Heroics? No! Of course not. I just get blamed for the crash.
I tell you, those baby-raping atheist vampires direct their hatred toward Me nonstop. More than anything, this greatly saddens Me. How could you heathen scum do this to Me? I am The Almighty God and I LOVE YOU! I love and care for you so much it makes My Heart ache sometimes. I even gave up My Only Son, and let him die horribly, all to save your wicked soul from Satanus. And this is how you repay Me?! By saying I don’t even exist?! How could you be so cruel?!
Well, I just hope all you atheists out there change your mind. If you do, I can promise you an eternity spent in Heaven with Me, eating all the most delicious foods and yum-yum ice-creams you’ve ever wanted and meeting all the coolest people who ever existed, as well as anything else your little heart desires.
Because you know, even if you atheists were right, which you most certainly are not, what would you gain from not believingeth in Me? A whole lot of nothing, that’s what. A lifetime spent in cynicism and a sad, devoted worship of nerds who wear lab coats for a living. Oh, and did I mention an eternity burning in the lake of fire whilst getting raped by burly demons? That’s what awaits. I assure you, every atheist bitterly regrets their mistake as soon as they die.
But anyway, all this arguing tires Me out.
I am the Lord Almighty, and I exist. That is all you need know.
*I prefer the Latin word ‘Satanus’ because it keeps anus in his name.
Ralph on 
freebiesss on 
TheEvilOverlord on 
God on 
Craig on 
samanta on 
ShunRenHu on 
Spencer and Heidi are atheists.
Can you burn them in hell prematurely?
(Please use the methodology whereby ghastly seven-headed asps violently tear the intestines through the anus, set them on fire, and pursuantly are ingested by feral dogs in front of their parents.)
Thank you.
God, are we still on for Boggle tomorrow at 4:30?
I once saw a video where that blasphemous atheist turbo-heathen George Carlin dared you to smite everyone in his audience dead and then smite him dead immediately after. On a hunch, I quickly checked the whereabouts and health of every person in the crowd and indeed, they are ALL dead. Heh, you sure know how to call a bluff.
I assume you held off smiting Carlin because, comedian to comedian, you knew he’d appreciate the sudden throw-back punchline when you finally smote him good more than a decade later.
“murder the suicidal, rape the retarded”, I think I broke a rib laughing so hard.
I’ve always thought Helen Keller was pretty harmless.
Dear God,
sorry to tell You this, but You don’t exist, while we atheists have the great advantage of existing.
PS, carpenters don’t build houses, engineers do.
1. One cannot be a ‘Satanist’ and atheist at the same time, as ‘Satan’ is a Christian buga-boo, concept, whatever. Anyhow, if you don’t buy into Christianity, the concept of ‘Satan’ is irrelevant.
2. Hitler was NOT, EVER, EVER, EVER, an atheist. He was a Christian. The form of Christianity he followed is questionable, but every single moment of his life, he was a DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. Registered as a member of the Catholic form of Christianity upon his baptism, he remained a member in good standing of this church until his death. Yes, it is true, there was a point in his life when he subscribed to the so-called ‘Aryan Christianity’, but he did so under the supervision and tutelage of a Catholic priest, with the full approval of the Vatican. You, God, should know better than to cast away one of your most faithful servants, just because he is currently ‘politically incorrect’.
3. Albert Einstein was not an atheist. He was a Deist. There is a HUGE difference, as I am sure you, God, know fully well.
4. Ghandi was a polytheist, not an atheist. BIG difference.
5. While Jefferson WAS a militant atheist, and (you missed him in your list) Washington was a ‘mosltly silent atheist’, there is a case to be made that Franklin was a Deist.
6. Lincoln was not just an atheist, he was an active anti-theist - a much stronger postition (though still within the scope of non-belief in the supernatural).
Oh, and you forgot me!!! As an archetypal-polytheist, I do also qualify as an atheist, non-theist and anti-theist!
How could you forget me!
Unless, of course, your memory is ALSO non-existant!
Weasel, you blog is freaking hilarious. I’m putting it on my list.
Thanks Cooper, feel free to share it. I’m going to Los Angeles, so no updates for a couple weeks, but should be back on July 10. Theres plenty to read until then.
Please God, DON’T READ MY BLOG.
You’ll smite me to eternal hell.
“The dark lord has mighty powers too, powers that I struggle everyday to contend with.” God 1:2
FACE!
xanthippa,
Shut up! Your mother is irrelevant.
“They regularly burn down churches, rape the retarded, rob the elderly, murder the suicidal, torture the crippled, kidnap the poor, lie, cheat and do drugs.”
You say that like it’s a bad thing. Sounds like a typical weekend, to me.
You forgot that we eat puppies and kick tweety birds.
Which reminds me…..
God, i love you. you’re a funny, funny God. murder the suicidal!
xanthIPPApiipa,
i’m sure you must have a point, but no one wants to read a 3,000 word essay.
“yum yum ice creams”
Wait!?!?! We’re not supposed to rape the retarded?? Well who the fuck is going to fuck them if we don’t rape them?? I guess no love for the retarded. I’ll have to change my ways down here in the butthole of the world AKA Haiti as the retarded are everywhere and I’ve been getting a lot of raping in. Sorry God.
And God, I just want to say it’s very refreshing to know that you realized the evil that was and still is, Helen Keller. She has almost everybody fooled, God.
awesomely good post God. I especially love the picture of emo hitler you chose. on behalf of all the atheists here (your entire audience), I’d like to dedicate this post to George Carlin. Is that ok God? Please don’t banish me to South Africa.
shut up, ben.
nun, i was wondering if you got un-smited at some point last night as i slept in my comfortable bed in my air conditioned house next to my beautiful wife. hope i don’t get smited like your sorry ass.
Shut up, Cracka.
You want to know how I spent my night? I raped a bunch of Haitian retards(I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to) and then I grilled up some Haitians… just normal-brained Haitians… retards are fun to rape but aren’t exceptionally tasty. Then I ran for my poor sweet life as that pissed off high priestess pinpointed my location and sent her voodoo heathen army after me.
I’m thinking of stowing away in one of these fat-ass tourists… it won’t be a pleasant journey but at least I’ll be out of the butthole of the world AKA Haiti.
God,
I killed three tourists last night. They were all the giant landmass fatties that You hate. I did it for You, God. Please love me again.
I’m an atheist and I routinely eat the flesh off unclean animals and wear clothes woven from multiple materials. Sometimes I forget to wash before and during eating, and I definitely forget to wash when bathing.
God, come down and present yourself to me, so that I can touch you with my grubby hands.
i agree weasel. that is some funny shit.
Nun - for your efforts, i will reward you by removing you from Haiti and sending you home. Well done on the fatty killings.
Ben - for being a suckup, I banish you to South Africa as requested. Enjoy!
peegee - DIE ATHEIST SCUM! I mean…I love you….please change your mind…
Karin - Eat poop and die atheist heathen mongoloid! Stupid atheists….think they’re so smart!
Thank you Cracka.
Now if I could only get a paying job writing comedy.
God? Most Honourable? I don’t ask for shit.
Please?
Lucifer! You bastard! Stay the hell off of My Blog and stop interfering with My Affairs!
Weasel,
Your blog amuses Me, but a paying job in comedy only goes to those lucky, precious few who are willing to suck hundreds of diseased cocks to do so (i.e., Sarah Silverman, Dan Naturman, Carlos Mencia, etc.).
Good luck in your pointless, hopeless, absolutely doomed quest.
[...] hates atheists! From the deliciously funny Stuff God Hates blog comes this latest entry. Here’s a sampler. Satanic atheist creatures of the night have no morals and cannot be [...]
Then I relinquish myself to Diet Smite and heathens-on-toast.
Minus the huge cocks.
i guess i’d be willing to suck on whatever if i can get a showbiz gig like that.
sign me up, God.
Ben is in the poor part of south africa i hope.
haha God. This isn’t funny. Please bring me home. I’ve been here in this disgusting South African village for like, 2 hours now and I’ve already been stabbed seventeen times and had all my clothes stolen. I’m lying fucked up and bruised on the ground right now in a puddle of shit while getting raped by these ugly african savages. they’re lining up! I’m typing this into my Iphone but I’m running out of battery….and blood….please….God…HELP!
Nun: Welcome back. I knew God would come around. He’s so… um… loving.
Weasel: Great site.
God: I wouldn’t have figured you for the Boggle type. Battleship maybe.
I have no plans for playing boggle. I have no idea what you are talking about. The only bored game I like to play is Monopoly.
Thanks Stuff. Now let’s have a threesome with Mary. I hear she’s a real panther.
Or was that the sheep.
Is Weasel lying when he said the two of you are playing Boggle at 4:30 tomorrow? Isn’t lying a… sin?
Thanks, God!! I’m going to the beach to beach some whales(kill some fatties) in Your honor!!
Ben,
Boy, you’re a fucking pussy if you can’t figure out to rape the natives before they start raping you.
Thanks, White Parent. It’s good to be home amongst all the fatties.
P.S. God, I sucked Sarah Silverman’s cock… does that mean I’ll get a paying job in comedy?
He works in mysterious ways.
amen.
I sure do. Nun, no. You have about 10,000 more to go. And you had better be funny too.
Ben - I have no plans of bringing you back anytime soon. In fact, you will be killed within the hour and eaten by wild and starving South African dogs.
hopefully, ben will be reborn as another person to tell to shut up.
“Oh no! Not him! Benjamin is an innocent man!”
hehe, I love that show. Dispose of that moronic wretch how you like, Father. You’ll hear no objection from Me.
musicals, huh? i guess that closes the books on how much of a pussy jesus really is.
you’re a pussy.
*I prefer the Latin word ‘Satanus’ because it keeps anus in his name.
LOLOLOLOL.
I’m starting to believe in God more and more every day and as such I’d like to thank Him for the following:
1. Making Sheep
2. Making Donkeys
Nun! Gratz on getting brought home!
Didja bring me anything?
yeah, well, you’re not the messiah and your mom’s not a virgin
bullcrap. i am too the messiah. and your mom’s not a virgin either.
shut up, cracka.
you’re a crappy messiah at best.
at least my mom can admit it.
shut up, cooper.
God,
10,000 more, eh? I don’t suppose You retroactive that kind of thing, do You?
I am confused though… You say I have to be funny but most people who have paying jobs in comedy are NOT funny. Carlos Mencia specifically… whose diseased cock did he suck to get the gig he’s got?
Beelze,
Of course I brought you something… I have shrunken Haitian heads for the whole lot of you.
Jesus,
Musicals? Really? I guess I’m not too surprised but, as You can see, it’s not helping with the whole pussy rep You got going on.
Didn’t You just love Sweeney Todd though?? Oh, that Johnny Depp. He’s really hot, isn’t he?
you know, just because I like “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” does not make me a gay pussy. You people are wierd.
yes, it does and yes we are.
i just love my shrunken head.
I don’t think you have to be gay to think Johnny Depp is hot. He’s one of those people that defies the standards for hottness.
Thank you for letting me die God. That was most merciful of you. Could you also please let my family know what happened? Thank you Mighty Lord. I love it here in limbo, truly I do. Whenever you decide to let me go to Heaven is fine by me. Thank you Lord.
shut up, dead ben.
Awww… poor Ben.
don’t mourn ben’s death, celebrate ben’s life…and smiting. mostly just celebrate his smiting like a good atheist.
Johnny Deep is just ok.
no bridgette. no unpleasant jew. this is unusual. let’s pretend there here:
you are so dumb, bridgette! stop being such a prick, jew!
today’s blog was soooooooooooooooo long that not only could i not read the entry, but i can’t even bring myself to read the comments.
Shut up, four eyes.
too bad, jew. it was amongst God’s best work.
God,
Please smite Marnee for not realizing the beauty that is Johnny Depp.
Did you read: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/06/25/winner-4/? It’s about comparing any person you don’t like with Hitler. Since you are white, God, I thought you’d appreciate it.
I agree that atheists are indeed “evil monsters.”
Yaaaay! Bridgette appears and graces us with her hyperbole! But since she did not do so with a requisite verse of Scripture, I must deduct points for lack of consistency. 2.5.
wow, for someone that doesn’t exist, You sure are funny, God.
ps, i eagerly await my demon raping, because i know it won’t be anal. because You don’t like anal. i’m keeping my fingers crossed that ole Luci doesn’t either.
God, is John Lennon burning in hell? Or did you let him off like George Carlin? He’s my favorite Beatle.
that was the best post. in the middle there i LOL’d my heartiest.
Damn us heathen atheists. Lord, make me believe in your wonders!
I am just a fucktard satan worshipper who rapes kids in their sleep, and eats them [sometimes, before they are even born]. You’ll never kill children. Or people. EVER!
You damn you, God, take it back. John Lennon wasn’t so bad. What I really want to know is, is that the original Paul McCartney still alive, or is it indeed a big conspiracy.
“Therefore, as I live, saith the Lord GOD, I will even do according to thine anger, and according to thine envy which thou hast used out of thy hatred against them; and I will make myself known among them, when I have judged thee. And thou shalt know that I am the LORD, and that I have heard all thy blasphemies which thou hast spoken against the mountains of Israel, saying, They are laid desolate, they are given us to consume.” Ezekiel 35:11-12
All who blaspheme against the LORD shall burn like dry leaves in the wind.
The mountains of Israel ARE desolate, Brie.
Hmmmm interseting… what is an atheist?
Bridgette,
nice to know that I’m your idea of an ‘evil monster’. It gets worse:I’m also a teacher and I do my best to turn my students into ‘evil monsters’ too. Beats turning them into morons like you.:)
Stuff,
an atheist is an agnostic with balls.
PS Bridgette: dry leaves in the wind don’t burn, they fly.
Well done God and hats off to you. You and your agents like Fred Phelps are truly amazing.. such an open display of love .. and compassion..Hallelujah !
http://atheistmedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/fred-phelps-george-carlin-is-in-hell.html
God, you are truly amazing.. what you are doing to George Carlin.. Such a display of love, compassion and forgiveness !
http://atheistmedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/fred-phelps-george-carlin-is-in-hell.html
^ Indeed!
“blaspheme! blaspheme! blaspheme! blaspheme!”
bridgette when will you stop reading this blaspheme, you hipocritical cow?
when will you stop frequenting this blog and posting comments to people who only then attempt to better YOU with their cynicism? you plug your ears and say “nah-nah-nah” a lot, and it doesn’t strengthen your shitty arguments.
when will you get a life that doesn’t include damning other people for their own beliefs? we don’t damn you for yours, self-righteous and self-ingratiating as they may be.
i damn her. i totally damn her.
I’ve never damned anyone. I’m just trying to save you people and bring you towards CHRIST.
I meant to say liek dry leaves in the sun.
Dear Bridgette:
When will you realise that it’s not your job as a christian to “save” people? If you are christian, perhaps you should trust that Christ did all the saving that anyone needs to do. If you want to bring people to Jesus, it is far more expedient to seek to act like Christ in the midst of others- acting with love and compassion and bring healing to those who need it- rather than quoting KJV fire & brimstone. I firmly believe in the scriptures, but people need to hear that God LOVES them; not that those who blaspheme will be burned. II Corinthians 5:19 says “God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, not counting men’s sins against them.” This means all things are forgiven, to all people. People just might like Jesus more if you act like that He likes people more. Tell people the good news. Actually tell them the gospel, and live it.
And perhaps you shouldn’t be reading this blog if you can’t get the humour in the first place.
I, personally, would like to thank Bridgette for coming on this blog and trying to save us. At least she’s not on my front step. Here, if I choose to ignore what she’s saying, I simply scroll past her comment. It’s much more awkward when it’s face to face.
Bridgette,
dry leaves in the sun don’t burn either.They just get dryer.
the dry leaves in the sun could burn if someone were to drive by them and throw a cigarette butt into them during the dry season. is that what you wanted to say bridgette?
“you’re all going to burn and burn in ultimate and totally justified torment like dry leaves on the side of the road during a drought when some guy drives by and throws a butt into them and then a gust of wind comes up and sparks them and they start a forest fire…verily, verily i say unto you.”
Hey God;
I spent Sunday morning outside a local church, waving at drivers, trying to get them to come to church.
If they drove past, I pelted them with rocks and garbage.
Does this me earn any points on my Get Out Of Hell card?
(Signed)
Yo-Yo-Your Obedient Servant
“At least she’s not on my front step…. It’s much more awkward when it’s face to face.” D.Hue.
If someone as dense and deluded as Bridgette showed up at my front door I’d guss my gusset. I’d totally boik a bingbang.
chinese acrobat,
I applaud you for being a sane Christian. If only there had been more people like you in my life, i might not be stuck in limboland right now. it’s pretty boring here.
shut up dead ben.
shut up de….oh, you beat me to it.
how is it there in dante’s purgatory, anyway? are there really a lot of dead babies there waiting to be purged from the sins of the father? that would be so ridiculous and random if that was true.
I heard the she-wolf of incontinence is a real slut.
it sucks here uppity. nothing but me, millions of dead babies, and dante just floating around in this icky god goo. The only good thing is I can always eat a dead baby when I get hungry.
Yo Yo,
Yes, this helps. It would help a lot more though if you went and protested at funerals.
Ben,
You are staying in limbo indefinitely now. You really suck you suckup.
wow! millions of dead babies AND icky God goo?!! that’s astronomical as hell! what are the odds some 13th century italian poet would have guessed so correctly?
“sane christian”? is it oxymoron day? oh, i got one:
“smart bridgette”
another one:
“pleasant jew”
George Carlin was a Beatle? Huh, who knew?
By the way, nice save from forgetting the scripture verse the first time, Bridgette!
Dear God, I don’t like my avatar. Please recreate it.
shut up Curtis.
Curtis - Your avatar is decided by your email address. I added the term fuckhead to the beginning of your email to get the avatar you see in comment 103.
this blog is gay. i’m banning it again.
shut up Jew.
he’ll unban it tomorrow. when it becomes less “gay.”
(that guy is so unpleasant)
He may be unpleasant but God has blessed him with a pleasant avatar.
I’m sorry you’re stuck in limboland Dead Ben. If you like, and please don’t feel you have to accept, but I’d be more than willing to use my sweet chinese acrobatics to get you out of the god goo. Oh- and from what I hear, dead babies are better roasted over an open fire. People in hell taught me that.
I don’t know what happened, but I think I slipped out of a hole in limbo and now I’m back in my body again! Holy crap! I’m so happy! I mean, I’m still in Iowa……um……shit. I miss limbo.
Ben,
You should sacrifice some chubbasauruses to show God your gratitude.
listen to nun. nun has learned some valuable lessons. luckily, there is no shortage of chubbasaurs in iowa.
Hello God;
I’m painting some anti-gay slurs on signs and am getting ready to protest at a soldier’s funeral.
I figure that gives me lots of points on my Get Out Of Hell Free card.
Where’s Bridgette the Mental Midget? Did she choke to death on a Twinkie? (read into that what you will.)
Yo Yo,
God has been very clear that He does not hate the gays. You only need hate the soldiers and if they participated in anal then you can hate that too. Anti-gay slurs may not impress God. They may impress Jesus though.
Take this statement,
were devout atheists: Adolph Hitler, Joey Stalin, Napoleon Bonaparte, Charles Darwin, Benjamin Franklin, Helen Keller, Ghandi, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, John Lennon – need I go on? Take a good, long look at that list. Easily some of the most despicable wretches
None of these people were atheist, as I have pointed out on many occassions on my blog, there is a serious shartage of Atheist heroes.
Eistein was into Theosophy, so was Adolf Hitler Gandhi, Thomas Jeferson was an illuminist, John Lenon was with the maharesh groups why do you atheists never have heroes?
It is simple, Atheism is an empty shell. So you have concluded that God does not exist, so what?
http://dawkinswatch.wordpress.com
it’s a joke you dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb…anyway, you’re dumb. and, your blog is for dumb people. idiot.
Is Dawkinswatch being facetious or is he really that clueless?
Thank you Dawkinswatch! I wholeheartedly agree, there are no atheist heroes because they believe in nothing.
“I wholeheartedly agree, there are no atheist heroes because they believe in nothing.”
That is passing judgment, Bridgette. You are not an athiest so you have no idea what they believe. I honestly don’t understand how you think you’re a good Christian.
Bridgette, wipe the crumbs off your face, it’s disgusting. Does your priest know you broke into the ciborium and ate an entire month’s worth of Bit O’ Christ?
Nun Ur Damned Bizness, you are correct, I’ll fix the signs before I go out to prostitute - I mean prosthelize.
uppity cracka, agreement. Dawkins_crotch doesn’t get it.
Nun - no, dawkinswatch is really that clueless. No better than Bridgette.
I dunno, dawkinswatch is sending out confusing signals. He lumps Adolph Hitler in with Benjamin Franklin, Helen Keller, Ghandi and Abraham Lincoln, and refers to them as heroes.
‘Dolph ain’t my idea of a hero.
Maybe this guy is a poe, and is laughing at Bridgette the Mental Midget.
…or maybe he’s just nuts.
Yo Yo,
He also asked somebody to explain evolution using 50 - 15,000 words. I think he might be yanking chains.
you know, there are books you can read, dawk. if you need reality ‘explained’ to you. bridgette, atheism has no heroes? huh, so that means what, exactly?
you know what really gives life meaning? hero worship. without it, you can’t live a fulfilled life. it is an absolute necessity to idolize other people, otherwise, what are you going to do with all those pedestals?
the dumbest person ever to post here…and all bridgette can say is, “i wholeheartedly agree with you.”…even though you don’t make ANY sense.
furthermore, not believing in some medieval, static image of a bearded hebrew god that has never exhibited proof of his own existence is NOT the same as believing in nothing. why do you post these thoughtless comments here? anyone can debate there way to a stalemate on whether or not god exists…except for you…because you are stupid.
i’m done, the rest of you can shred her…
hmm…it would seem my computer is acting all crazy
“So you have concluded that God does not exist, so what?”
So your stupid pet theory of the world fails. FACE!
“I wholeheartedly agree, there are no atheist heroes because they believe in nothing.”
That’s Nihilism, dope.
“their way to a stalemate” -typing fast.
haha Bloodvork.
“Give us the money Lebowski! We believe in nothing! Give us the money or we cut off your johnson!” - Nihilists
shut up, ben…actually, that was pretty funny.
they’re not nazis, they’re nihilists, man.
are we splittin’ hairs here, dude?
yes!!
“hmm…it would seem my computer is acting all crazy”
That happened to me once - demons possessed my laptop. I didn’t mind until they organized a tenant’s union and demanded I upgrade the RAM and get a better spam filter.
FYI, never google ‘how to summon demons’, even in jest.
okay, i’ll definitely NOT do that…crap, i just did it.
I just googled “how to summon demons” because I follow directions really poorly and now I have all these dark entities surrounding me. That’d be fine, I suppose, if they didn’t keep telling me to go slash up my neighbor.
yeah, that reads NEVER google how to summon demons…NEVER. oops. maybe God can help us out here. i heard his kid is good at getting rid of these things. you see a herd of swine near a cliffside anywhere around here?
They just flew right on by my window, Cracka.
that first link when you search on google is hilarious, especially the part for people who are having trouble summoning demons. if it’s serious, those people are more pathetic than the Bridgette people.
well…i guess someone better tell ben to shut up.
unpleasant hasn’t unbanned from yesterday so i’ll do it;
shut up, ben.
dawkinswatch: I’m not sure of any of the other people you listed in your litany of atheist heroes, but I’m pretty sure Darwin wasn’t atheist. He was actually trained in an anglican seminary to be a minister before he ever took his voyage on the Beagle which changed his paradigm. A prevailing “science” of his time was “natural theology-” which taught you could find evidence of God’s existence in nature; he was quite influenced by this early in his scientific career. In the end of his life, he may have gravitated towards simple theism, without much devotion perhaps, but there’s reason to suspect he never actually, fully gave up on the belief of God, and yet he still contributed to the scientific community- as well as all of humanity- through his work. But I could be wrong on that.
Oh- I’m not trying to fully contradict your argument- you seem to agree Darwin wasn’t atheist- I just wanted to edify that statement a little more.
Oh crap- I got excited when I saw Darwin’s name and I didn’t closely read what you said at the end. That was mean what you said about atheisism, being an “empty shell.” Atheists are still searching for truth, just like anyone else. And considering the abuse christians have heaped upon others I can fully understand why someone would go that route, let alone any other reason.
I just got rid of the demons. I found an old AOL CD and loaded it onto my laptop. “AEEEEIII!! IT BURNSES!! WE HATESS IT FOREVER!” (Exit demons, screaming)
On the downside, now I’ve got that damned AOL crap running.
I guess the demons weren’t so bad.
hmm…i didn’t know demons talked like golem from lord of the rings.
Hey!! My demons don’t talk like Gollum. Man!!! I got gypped on my demons. Now I’m bitter and resentful. Stupid demons. :X
Stupid fucking smileys!!
The LOR sound package cost extra, and I had to pay Peter Jackson 3 cents every time they said something.
Say - where’s Bridgette today? Isn’t it time for her to remove her snout from the trough and drop in some comments?
Soooo-eeeee!
no, she pops in after her email alert shows up to tell everyone they are evil, vile, wicked, doomed and hateful then she leaves feeling superior to all other humans…she’s my favorite christian since, well, christ.
Speaking of Christ, where’s God, or Jesus? Waiting in a green room somewhere before speaking on a religious television show?
Yes Yo Yo? Got something to say, do you? Tell Me, why would I waste My Valuable time conversing with a bunch of demon-summoning atheist heathens? Did you not read this post?!
0.
“The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt,
their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good.” Psalm 14:1-3
What about those Norwegian black metal musicians and fans who burn down your churches? Are they Atheist, Satanist, or both?
“The dummy writes between quotes, “I shall make an affirmation but not state the reasons why it is true.” They are old, their beliefs are unfounded; there is no one who questions what they are told.” Face 12:6-3526Q9er
“And they are probably fat.” Expansion 98:B-Wark
LOL, Bloodvork.
I still love you, Angry Blog God. You’re funny.
I’m better off in Hell anyway, all the cool people are there.
[...] #33 Atheists July 18, 2008 Posted by Skepdude in People, Sins, Stuff God Hates. Tags: Atheism, Faith, God, Religion trackback CLICK HERE TO GO TO ORIGINAL ENTRY AT “STUFF GOD HATES” [...]
-Lincoln became a Christian after the battle of Gettysburg
-Hitler was a Catholic not a Christian ( sorry but Christians ain’t Catholics)
-Jefferson was not a Deist he was more than likely a unitarian.
-Franklin was a Deist but still attended all kinds of Christian worship services
-Darwin was an ape disguised as a man (aha you didn’t know that did you)
-Stalin was a big mean kid with an ant farm and a giant magnifying glass
-John Lennon was a tarantula diguised as a beetle
-Napoleon was a funny crazy guy with a horryble rash on his chest
-Ghandi was this cool dude with skinny legs and coke bottle glasses.
Come on god get your history straight and what’s with all the profanity.
Could you tell Jesus to turn some water into wine for me? I have a nice aborted fetus I’m waiting to eat, but it’s best accompanied by a nice Chianti.
[...] And what do we have instead? Not only are the Olympics back and on NBC, they’re being held in CHINA!! A nation of 1.3 billion Me-hating atheists. [...]
Fuck you god! You don’t exist it’s as simple as that!!!
Hitler was a Catholic, stupid.
In fact, the Nazi uniform belts had something like “May God lead us” or some shit like that on them…
The Nazis were not atheists and neither was Hitler.
Nice to know that an idiot pretending to be a non-existant being demonstrates his “divine” stupidity quite nicely…
Nice to know there are still so many obtuse fuckwits incapable of appreciating either irony or satire.
There’s a fine line between satire and retarded bullshit.
Nice to know there are idiotic people who think shit like this is even remotely funny.
“There’s a fine line between satire and retarded bullshit.”
You’d know.
hey anoynmous coward - this shit is fucking hilarious and brilliant.
you’re obviously just as annoying and intolerant and without a sense of humor as the worst religious zealots. you suck at life.
Hey illiterate fucktard:
Read what I fucking posted before: There’s a fine line between satire and retarded bullshit!
If you actually think this is worth a laugh, you should drink bleach and die IMHO.
Atheists…
Face
Hey Analynmous,
if you don’t think this is satire pointing the finger at religious zealots who kill, murder, and plunder in the name of God, then you are a fool and need to drink arsenic, IMHO.
This barely needs pointing out, but no one who ever believethed in Me and had morals ever committed evil of any kind. Go ahead and investigate yourself. Search the internet. Ask a friend. Open up the encyclopedia if you have to. There has never once been one recorded instance in the history of humanity of a devout Christian, Jew or Muslim committing an evil deed. Not once!
You have no idea what you’re talking about, Josh. [Stupid name, by the way.]
That is the biggest lie ever. Let’s see:
1. The Holy Wars/Crusades, Muslim Conquests, Reconquista - They were violent wars associated with religion.
2. Spanish Inquisition- Established by the Catholic monarchs and tried to “maintain” Catholic orthodoxy.
3. September 11, 2001- Muslim terrorists crashed planes into the Twin Towers in the name of “Allah”
4. The Bible has a shitload of violence in it. Killing the sodomites, the wars, etc.
For example:
Because God liked Abel’s animal sacrifice more than Cain’s vegetables, Cain kills his brother Abel in a fit of religious jealousy. 4:8
God drowns everything that breathes air. From newborn babies to koala bears — all creatures great and small, the Lord God drowned them all. 7:21-23
God threatens to kill Abimelech and his people for believing Abe’s lie. 20:3-7
There are a lot more examples and it would be an essay if I posted them all. But you get the point, your deity is violent and merciless and loving only to those who believe.
Things happening today:
1. Muslim fundamentalists in the Middle East, particularly Afghanistan, bombing the schools of female children in the name of “Allah” and because their Qu’ran said females should not get an education.
2. Overall hatred of homosexuals by all three non-pagan religions.
More young people are atheists now, so there will be less idiots in the world.
You’re not the brightest lamp in Korea, are you?
That’s not fair, Smoggy. He’s an athiest so he has to be somewhat bright even though God will kill him.
That no-name anonymous guy is certainly a bit dim though.
Morons.
Hey god..
How come this satanus guy never pays out like they say? I keep asking him to make me filthy rich just to piss you off, but I still remain meek and poor as dirt. If I remain meek and inherit the earth can i kick these dip shit republicans off the planet? I would prefer they be sent somewhere with no air so when they expel their C02 they have nothing to breath back in, but I’ll settle for a poison gas planet too.. You know, one with a soup of corrosive crap so when they land in it they burn up like battery acid type things..
Whadaaya think?
I think you’re Mmmetal!!
Wow.. i really hope you folks don’t REALLY buy the god stuff. But, hey, that’s fine.. Believe what you want, but unfortuneately you STILL won’t get to go to hell…. or heaven. Because…….(the tickler) It ain’t real! GASP! How could I say such vile, evil words? Simple…it’s bullshit.
Bad guy ur so right man. Hail Satan haha not really fuck religion
Good idea
Awesome post - i’m creating video about it and i will post it to youtube !
if you wana to help or just need a link send me email !