Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Whores! Sluts! Jezebels! Tramps! Skanks! She-Devils! Hoes! Harlots! Self-Absorbed Buck-Toothed Money-Grubbing Cum-Dumpsters!
These are but just a few of the Divine terms I use to describe the disgusting cunts that make up the stars and fans of one of the most sinful television shows in history, Sex and the City.
Long have I watched this wicked show corrupt the minds of young women to somehow make them even more selfish, dumb and slutty than they already are. And long have I vowed to infect every one of them with the Herpes!
I tell you mortals, it’s dreadful shows like this that make being omnipresent truly unbearable. I, The Lord GOD Almighty, have had no choice but to watch every last fucking episode and repeat of Sex and the City shown on TV for the last ten fucking years. Not only that, I’ve also had to watch every stupid fucking cunt alive watch this stupid fucking show and love every stupid fucking minute of it. Just one more reason I utterly despise women.
And if that was not enough human, were you aware that they just released a movie as well? Yeah, I’ve been to every showing of it worldwide and already seen it over 25 million times. I swear, if I have to fucking watch Mr. Big stand up Carrie at her own fucking wedding one more fucking time, I might just lose My Holy Shit and have all four of those actresses simultaneously decapitated in freak accidents. Or perhaps I’ll just alter reality and make that the new ending to the movie.
Stupid women like to watch this stupid show and take notes on how to live their lives and how to dress. LAME! Just look at the clothing those repulsive, dried-out old hags are wearing in the picture at the top of this post. Just what in the hell are they wearing there?! Any honest, Me-fearing woman would be mercilessly mocked and stoned to death by her congregation if she went out in public wearing such absurd outfits.
It feels rather strange for Me to ask this question, but how could women be so stupid? How could they worship a show so completely devoted to materialism and whoring? It makes me wonder if these are the only two things the female humans care about anymore. Indeed, if the show is to be believed, there seems to be no limit to the amount of fresh clothing and fresh penis a modern horse-faced woman needs.
According to Sex and the City, all women can be put into one of four categories, as represented by the four main characters. Let’s examine these female archetypes in more detail. We have:
1. Carrie: a slut-whore-bitch obsessed with shoes and clothing.
2. Miranda: a whore-bitch-cunt obsessed with shoes and work.
3. Charlotte: a bitch-cunt-ditz obsessed with shoes and babies.
4. Samantha - a cunt-ditz-slut obsessed with shoes and penis.
Hmm…you know, now that I think about it, that’s actually pretty accurate.
freebiesss on 
TheEvilOverlord on 
God on 
Craig on 
samanta on 
ShunRenHu on 
God,
Did you go to see Whores and the City movie by yourself? If not, why are you dating Lucifer’s skanks?
oh thank god. i didn’t want to live in a world where this was condoned by you. i don’t agree with all of your veiws, but this one is the most important and i’m right there with you.
praise be to….well you.
sarah jessica parker isn’t attractive - I mean Family Guy has it right - “they let her on TV and she looks like a foot!”
It continues the stupid pop culture trend of comparing oneself to a singer or tv character:
The [insert vacuous tv show] cast member you are reveals the key to your personality!
Guys, if your girlfriend wants to go to the s&tc movie on “date night”, run the other way as fast as you can! She will never be happy with anything you buy her and you’ll have nothing but a lifetime of mindgames to look forward to. The Three Stooges are an upgrade in intelligence to those four dumb cunts.
The BEST thing about a depraved assured-damnation show like Sex and the City is that I didn’t do ANYTHING for it to happen! It’s like opening a casino and waiting for the suckers to hand you all their money, except it’s your eternal soul and I didn’t even have to open it myself.
Hey Lucifer, how’d you like the way Al Pacino played you in the film “Devil’s Advocate”. The climax of the film was all about you and it was awesome.
Dear God,
some of us women actually have a brain and a better taste in clothes. Maybe Lucifer gave some of us a brain against You will):)
I don’t watch the series and I’m not interested in the movie, but who wrote the script? Women living their lives around sex and clothes seems like male imagination to me.
my wife loves that show. God, does this mean she is going to cheat on me and spend all of my money on shoes?
i’ve pointed out to her how unrealistic it is:
samantha: old dried up slut. in the real world old sluts don’t land 25 yr old underwear models.
carrie: ugly chick. in the real world handsome multi-millionaires don’t fall in love with ugly girls.
miranda: manhater. general bitch. in the real world man-haters don’t suddenly change and marry nice guys. they marry men worthy of their hatred.
charlotte: i forgot my theory about her.
Keanu,
Pacino tried his best. I’d have bagged Charlize Theron properly and turned the whole thing into a class-act porn flick.
But that’s just me.
typical lucifer
always trying to steal God’s thunder. how many times do you have to get smitten before you give it up?
I stole that thunder fair and square. It’s MY thunder!
“…stoned to death by her congregation if she went out in public wearing such absurd outfits.”
HA! good one, God.
“Whores! Sluts! Jezebels! Tramps! Skanks! She-Devils! Hoes! Harlots! Fat Self-Absorbed Money-Grubbing Buck-Toothed Cum-Dumpsters!”
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
God, I need Your Divine Help.
Ever since I saw that picture of Bridgette, Lil’ Yo Yo Ma Ma has sucked up into my body and won’t come out. i’ve tried blowing on my thumb and looking at pictures of Christa Miller eating poundcake, but he refuses to come out.
Can you help? I need him fixed before Friday evening, I have a date with Mary Jane Bleever, I think I’m gonna hit a home run.
cum dumpsters ….hahahhaahhahaha.
Aw, God, you lost me on this one. I luv me som SATC.
SATC is heinous programming. Not as bad as reality television but pretty damned close.
And how a horse-face is still living the life of a winner is beyond me. God missed the ball on that one.
But I hear that Charlotte poops her pants in the movie… that makes me happy.
Cooper - Yes. I do everything alone.
Uppity - Yes.
Yo Yo Ma - Ok, you saw her picture, so what’s the problem? What are you, gay?
God,
Does Bridgette watch SATC?
Just wondering.
Yo Yo - No, she does not. She watches the 700 club. I love her!
Sorry, Your Wholiness, I’m not gay.
But after barfing up everything I ate since last Tuesday, and having PTSD after viewing Bridgette’s pic, I may consider it.
But not until after my date with Mary Jane Bleever.
God, are You gonna fix Lil’ Yo Yo Ma Ma before my date?
THANK YOU GOD!
I watch the 700 Club, too. There’s something about watching Terry Meeuwsen clasping her hands in prayer that fills me with the Holy Spit - I mean Spirit.
Yo Yo - I cannot guarantee that. It all depends on how much faith you and little yo yo have in Me.
i knew it!! guess i better put her shoes on the porch ala old testament divorce.
I HEART GOD!!
yo yo ma ma-if God doesn’t feel like answering your prayer the first time, the only thing begging will get you is some Him-damned fire and brimstone…careful.
uppity cracka, regarding the damned fire and brimstone, Lil’ Yo Yo Ma Ma’s already had that! It took three trips to the Clinic to clean it up. Never sleep with gospel singers.
God, I’m a’prayin (but not too much - I don’t want to bug You) for relief for Lil’ Yo Yo Ma Ma’s problem. Must be working - he’s looking for daylight.
it must be frustrating having all that smiting ability and hating fictional characters…how do you smite make believe people?
“how do you smite make believe people?”
I bet He makes them real, then He smites them!
[...] decided to blog about stuff he hates. The list is getting quite extensive. The latest one: God hates Sex and the City. I tell you mortals, it’s dreadful shows like this that make being omnipresent truly unbearable. [...]
I love the archetypes….that part was pretty damn funny, God.
How does God feel about “Sex and the Suburbs” aka Desperate Housewives?
If it weren’t for shows like these we would only have whores with daddy issues, and nobody wants that.
Praise Jesus!!!!
I have re-found my faith in God for damnng these slores (slut+whore) to burn in hellllllllll!!!!!!!!
he didn’t damn them. they’re fictional. he just hates them.
Chewie Is My Co-Pilot.
Chewie was my co-pilot. I wondered where he ran off to. Your ass is mine, Yo Yo!! I want my Wookie back!!
Chewie left you because you were enjoying ‘furry’ comics too much.
We live in a trailer in North Hollywood, along with a bodybuilder named ‘Sally’, and are very happy together.
Chewie has the herpes. Just thought you should know.
He also has no sense of adventure and will judge you for your fetishes. That no-good, two-faced, scruffy looking bastard!!
Chewie has the herpes? That bast**d! I thought he was holding because I didn’t give him enough money! I just bought him a 2005 Volvo from my cousin in The Valley, but did I get anything more than a kiss and a hug? Nooooo!
I’m going back to the trailer and kick his furry azz out!
Sally will help - (s)he needs to work off some ‘roid rage.
Where did all this Chewbacca getting herpes biznaz come from? Did he have sex with Samantha? Do you people know each other offline or sumethin?
Chewie gets around, he does. He got R2-D2 drunk one night, they had a 5-way with some Anikan Skywalker and some anonomous girls.
I don’t know where Chewie came into it but when he did, I jumped on it. I love me some Chewie… even if he does judge my furry fetish. And what the hell is up with that anyway?? Does he not know he’s a freakin’ furry!?!?! Hello!
The Herpes came from God Himself. He talks about the Herpes in this blog.
haha…ok. Nun, you’re a furry? Does Satan know? You’re right. Herpes does come from God, along with every other kind of VD.
Satan’s the one who made me a furry. Satan’s a freak and I have a deep resentment for him.
Thanks for screwing me up for life, Satan!
I do not care at all for blasphemy or the language used in this post, but I do agree that Sex and the City is an evil program. I have never watched it, and will never watch it. It’s shows like that that are destroying American society.
“I will punish her for the days she burned incense to the Baals; she decked herself with rings and jewelry, and went after her lovers, but me she forgot,” declares the LORD. Hosea 2:13
“And now Israel, what does the Lord your God require from you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and love Him, and to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul.” Deuteronomy 10:12
Here’s a little newsflash Bridgie-poo… you don’t HAVE to read this blog. Who cares if you don’t like the blasphemy or the language. You’re holier than thou but I’m betting you’re going to get a big ol’ surprise if there ever is a judgment day.
If what they say about your Christian God is true then He really does hate it when His flock judges others. That duty is reserved for Him and Him alone. He would probably be disappointed in you for repeatedly visiting something that is so blasphemous.
You can think about that when you’re wondering why you’re playing cards with Lucifer. 2000 isn’t very many, you know.
“Whores! Sluts! Jezebels! Tramps! Skanks! She-Devils! Hoes! Harlots! Fat Self-Absorbed Buck-Toothed Money-Grubbing Cum-Dumpsters!”
God, they’re not fat. Well, Charlotte’s a little chubby, but that’s besides the point. You yourself said you like fat, er, pleasantly plump girls. We’ve all seen Bridgette’s picture and we know how fond you are of her.
And yo yo ma ma, how much sex do you need? You’ve got a date with Mary Jane Bleever Friday night, you’re sleeping with gospel singers, and now you’re trying to get a little side action with Chewie. I don’t think Bridgette’s picture is the problem.
There is no such thing as too much sex, it’s like saying there is too much oxygen. Yo Yo Ma Ma, don’t be a fool and wrap your tool if you’re going to hit any Wookie poon. Wookies have been known to get around.
I’m saving my furry fetish for the Ewoks, they’re not as promiscuous as the Wookies.
Sex and the City seems to have a polarizing force… people either hate the movie or love it
Cooper - I also hate ‘Desperate Housewives,’ of course. It blatantly promotes adultery. And if it weren’t for shows like these, you would not have ‘just girls with daddy issues.’
Women would be closer to what they should be, to how I had them before the dawn of the satanic 1960’s: submissive, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen where they belong, praying to Me everyday that they don’t burn the pot-roast and receive a beating when their man-master comes home from work.
I also hate anything that promotes starting shoe collections. Why just have a pair of sneakers and a pair of sandals instead of the multitude of shoes these bitches have?
God, how do you feel about that “Big Love” shit? It’s made by the same arsewipes responsible for Sex and the City, or so I heard.
iambetterthanyou,
I bet God loves “Big Love”. Its all about lots of women obeying one man.Hehehehe. Male fantasy again.
I hope its a lie Karin, I hope you’re wrong.
BRIDG-EEEEEEEEEEETTE!!!!!!!!!
oh, you’re silly. i have never watched it, but it’s evil. tv shows with sex in them are destroying our country. oh, bridgette. so silly. it’s not as evil as FOX news. maybe the problem with our country is ignorant people who vote. or, it could be sex. will tila tequila ever find love between visits to the free clinic? STOP DESTROYING OUR COUNTRY, HORNY PEOPLE!! we’ve got a war to win for jesus!!!
god-fuckin-damnit, bridge…jesus christ
is it true, God? do you hate incense? “she went after lovers, but me she forgot”-i think God covered this one already…that’s why he hates women
Best Parent Ever, I blame it all on Lucifer, he’s the one that ignited the seething, surging, volcano of my lov-
Well.
In any case, Chewie is out on his hairy azz and the gospel singers (who came in three-part harmony) have left for a tour of the Bible Belt (and will come back as walking petrie dishes of STDs), leaving Mary Jane Bleever, who does an amazing trick with crushed ice and red pepper - you can’t imagine!
Cooper said: ” Yo Yo Ma Ma, don’t be a fool and wrap your tool if you’re going to hit any Wookie poon. Wookies have been known to get around.”
LOL! Hey Cooper. I always cover my stump before I hump.
I’ve never tried an Ewok, I thought they were too plump, and short. Maybe next weekend…
“Dick Franing before he dicks you.”
I’m having that made into bumper stickers, then I’m going to go to church this Sunday and plaster them on every bumper I can find.
dick franing is a genius.
You have never watched it, and will never watch it, but you’re sure it’s evil. I guess because it has the word “Sex” in the title.
I DON’T NEED TO PLAY NIGHT TRAP TO KNOW IT’S GARBAGE!
My wife watches it and lives vicariously through the show. Would she REALLY want to live a life like that? Maybe for a day. But one thing she’s not is a cunt. I find that a very offensive term. I understand the attempt at forcing humor but it is none-the-less unecessary. I DID use it once though, referring to my ex-wife. At least the show is not claiming to be something it is not. It’s about excesses and the dissatisfaction with same.
“but me she forgot,” declares the LORD. Hosea 2:13.
Boy does THAT sound jewish!
Stop being a cunt, cunt is a great word and no one cares if you find it offensive.
Ha! Hey Bezoar your wife is a Cunty cunt CUNT Cunt cunt CUNT Cunt cunt CUNT Cunt cunt CUNT Cunt cunt CUNT Cunt cunt CUNT!
Once again, no friday post. Jesus h. fricking christ, god is a lazyass.
DAMN YOU JUDAS! DAMN YOU!!! YOU ARE WRONG! YOU ARE LAZY!
Jeez, God. Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?
When us mere mortals yell it’s nothing but when you yell it’s a big booming thunderous sound that shakes the earth and causes tsunamis and shit.
Nun, who pissed in My Cheerios!? JUDAS! Didn’t you see what he said? He called Me a lazy-ass! And you are right, when I yell people die. So all I can tell you is….
DON’T GET ME ANGRY! YOU WOULDN’T LIKE ME WHEN I WAS ANGRY!!!
bezoar finds it offensive, what a dumbass. maybe your first wife left you because you are easily offended by arbitrary groups of letters.
“it is the suppression of the word that gives it its power.”-lenny bruce
Lenny Bruce was a faggot.
Love the guy.
I did see what he said, God. You’re right, it was most rude and the equivalent of pissing in Your Heavenly Cheerios. But… he’s Judas, God. What did You expect?
Lenny Bruce was genius.
Nun - JUST SHUTUP! SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP! !@#$% HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME IN SUCH AN INSOLENT TONE!
Ech! Well at least you capitalize for Me properly.
Judas, God isn’t lazy.
But understand this: On the Seventh Day God Rested.
And bodies at rest tend to remain at rest.
Sorry, God… female here. Not only am I not capable of shutting up, I am not capable of conversing with You in anything other than an insolent tone. I’d probably feel a little more guilty about that but You made me this way.
Nun - OF COURSE YOU ARE A WOMAN!
AND I DID NOT MAKE YOU THAT WAY! YOU WOMEN CHOOSE TO BE ANNOYING AND DUMB AND SUCK AT DRIVING!
I feel that this can best sum up My Emotions:
http://shut.ytmnd.com/
Hey!! I do NOT suck at driving!!
you don’t think you suck at driving. all those people honking aren’t doing it because you’re hot.
You’ve never seen me drive… I’m the one telling people to get the fuck out of my way. I drive like a Cali male.
HA! Nun is actually getting offended now. People sure are sensitive about their driving skills. No one EVER admits to being a bad driver, no matter how bad they are….
I’m not offended but I do tell people to get the fuck out of my way.
doesn’t that make you a bad driver?
I always thought that shouting obsenities makes everything you do better, not worse.
Nun Ur Damned Bizness said:
“I always thought that shouting obsenities makes everything you do better, not worse.”
Only in bed, Nun. Only in bed.
Yo Yo Ma Ma said:
“Only in bed, Nun. Only in bed.”
God Damned mother fucking son of a bitch!!
Oh well, at least I’m good in bed.
God,
Can you fix the Red Sox again this yer?
Yo Yo - No.
i think in 1908 God got mad at Chi-town and said, “You won’t win again for 100 years!! heathens!!”
now, true to His word…2008 world series champs.
Dang - ah, well, we had our day in the sun.
Nun Ur Damned Bizness, does your lover (carefully avoiding pronoun) complain about their back gets scratched when you are swearing? ;o
Yo Yo,
First, ‘lover’ should be plural and not singular. I’m just a slutty whore cum-dumpster like that.
As for your question, nope. No complaints at all. They like to get all scratched up. It’s like a medal or a notch in the bedpost. Something that says I’ve been there and done that. And done it good, I might add.
funny. for all his unpleasantness, still, i kinda miss that jew.
you just had to go and smite his ass, didn’t you, God?
well i don’t miss you, dumbity cracka.
Uppity - I don’t think I ever smote The Unpleasant Jew…unless I did and I forgot…that happens sometimes…
Dear God,
if we women suck at driving, why is it that insurance companies give us a special bonus just for being XX?
Ups, sorry, that was a question.
nope, looks like you didn’t–and he’s still unpleasant. i think you just accidentally smote tim russert, though…he was the last real journalist on tv, too. i guess i’ll just have to get my news from the 700 club now.
PS-karin…you are a f*cking c*nt. no reason.
Go all the way and take those stars out.
Karin,
Because the fucking insurance companies have yet to realize that putting on fucking makeup while fucking driving is fucking dangerous.
I won’t call you a cunt though because that just seems unnecessary.
Uppity,Bloodvork and Nun, what an assembly of dunces. We XX may be c–ts, but putting on makeup while driving is still less dangerous than competing with everybody while driving.
It is very difficult to put on your makeup at 150 km/h, but its bloody easy to kill someone at this speed.
I’m a female, Karin and all joking aside, it pisses me off when I see women putting on makeup while she’s driving. The majority of the time that you see a woman driving in the morning, she’s putting on her fucking makeup. And then we wonder why guys say we can’t fucking drive.
Guys are assholes but women are fucking psychotic. The idea that it’s okay to put on makeup while driving just really irks me. Especially when it’s given under the pretense of “at least I’m not competing with other drivers!”. No, you aren’t competing because you’ve got your eyes on the mirror instead of the road where they belong.
Get get all my news from the Onion, it’s the only none bias news source.
Really, it’s the soccer moms with the enormous SUV’s that scare me, more so than the Asian drivers.
Putting on makeup while driving?! I can’t believe that’s even legal.
“Self-Absorbed Buck-Toothed Money-Grubbing Cum-Dumpsters”
I wish this quote had made it into the final cut of the bible.
The show is popular for women because the characters on the show aren’t all that attractive. If the four biatches were all way hot, women viewers wouldn’t like it as much. They wouldn’t identify with them as easily, because most American women are doughy-faced hags that obsess over shoes & babies and cat videos.
And it doesn’t help that the writers of the show are gay. I’ve watched one whole whopping episode of the show (God, don’t take away my man pass, please) and it was clear that the writer was totally a butt pirate.
Sure enough, I had the misfortune of having to sit through an interview with the writer of the movie (God, doesn’t Hell come AFTER death?) and the writer is just lisping it up all over. The camera got AIDS because it was covered with his lispy spit.
Dont get me wrong. I’m for gay rights (God, you’re not, right?) and I get the whole Kathy Griffin thing, but the hairy butts are where we go down different paths.
Well, I’m glad God, the Lord Almighty, hates that show. I look forward to the smiting of all that like it. God, what the hell is smiting anyway?
John - Smiting refers to any kind of punishment I place upon a human being, for whatever reason I choose. Do not fear John, all that like Sex and the City face a lifetime of constant and most painful smitings.
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Then why do you keep bringing your prim and OHHHHHH so proper self back here?
Whenever I see someone putting on makeup while driving, I get ahead of them, them slow down enough so that they have to drop what they’re doing and pay attention to driving. Tons of fun, especially when they end up with a smear of color across their face!
“if we women suck at driving, why is it that insurance companies give us a special bonus just for being XX?”
Because women drive fewer miles than men. Maybe we have the same accident rate/mile.
Also, because men are smart enough to manuver away from the bvtch in the SUV, puttying up her face. So we have the accident, not her.
Chivalrous, no?
Nun Ur Damned Bizness said ” Yo Yo, First, ‘lover’ should be plural and not singular.”
Day-yam! Uh, are we talking plural, in the sense of counting them over months, or plural, as in last night?
Just wondering.
And I bet Frigid Bridgette is reading your post and wishing she was getting some action!
Still fearing the vagina I see. What happened? Creation beyond your control? Might that tell you something?
God,
Not to critize, but I just wanted to let all your blog readers know that the term “slut-whore-bitch” is trademarked and refers only to the ex-wife that you were kind enough to smite with four more failed marriages, and the loss of custody of two more children to their father.
Doublegun Max
Umm…so, since you are God…can’t you just have a the earth open up and swallow everyone who is responsible for Sex and the City? Seriously, if there’s nothing the justice system can do about these whorish tramps, there must be something you can do.
God,
I ran out of nymphs to fuck… wanna have anal?
Apollo
Bridgette is a scruffy-looking nerf-herder.
Lord, I also hate SATC and I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one.
I’d like to know what do you, think about TV shows as The L Word?
Lord, one more question…
Why do men are crazy for two women having sex?
I’m sorry for so many question but you know, even beeing a lesbian, I’m still a woman.