Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
In this entry, I, the Lord God Almighty, choose to focus My Righteous Rage on demon cats that want to suck out your soul and kill your children while they sleep.
I hate cats! Especially kittens. Cats are evil, and their insolence encourages humans to become atheist blood-suckers.
Just for the record, I’d like to say right now that I had absolutely nothing to do with their creation. Cats are demons sent to Earth by Satan to infect humans with sin parasites and wreak general havoc. I first noticed them when they pounced out of hell 5,000 years ago and seized control of Egypt. Once in power, they immediately set about enslaving My Jews, forcing them to build the stupid worthless Pyramids.
Long have Lucifer’s race of demon cats brought devastation to My People! In fact, cats are directly responsible for 90% of history’s most evil events. It was a cat who convinced Adolph Hitler to kill My Jews (and to wear a mustache). The Holocaust, Slavery, The Sinking of the Titanic, The Hindenburg Disaster, The Teapot Dome Scandal, The Cancellation of Studio 60, Carlos Mencia - all of these atrocities occurred because of cats.
Also, they like to scratch up your couch and pee on your brand new feather comforter. And sometimes they even poop on your chest while you’re sleeping. I’ve seen these tragedies happen far too many times.
And so I created dogs! Dogs chase and devour cats at every opportunity. Oh! How I wish humans could be more like dogs! They are decent, obedient, and love you unconditionally without question – even if you beat them. They set a great example.
If you be a true believer* in Me, The Almighty God, you will do as I say. I proclaim to you now - if you see a cat, you kill a cat! If a cat follows your son home from the comic book store, grab it by the nape of its neck and drown it while your son watches.
If you go to your new neighbor’s house for dinner and see that he owns a cat, walk right over and snap its neck. I promise you, Satan’s spell will be broken and your neighbor will thank you for it.
If you know an old woman who has a great many cats, go and burn her house down, being careful to shoot her or any kittens that try to escape. If you do these things for Me, I will bless you and your family all of your life.
I, The Almighty Lord, have spoken.
*If you are allergic to cats, you are a good person and will go to Heaven.
Gene on 
ronpaulcandidate on 
jetaDeelp on 
Nun Ur Damned Bizness on 
The Ender on 
It is the truths such as this that convince me this truly is gods own blog!
Yea, dogs are much better than cats, and easier to electrocute, hang, and throw into the ground when they FUCKING LOSE A FIGHT YOU HAVE $1,000 ON!!!!
This was really wack, you running out of things to write about.
This is not a new idea blog, it is simply what God hates. Im sure Gami has things that they hate that other people think are lame. Dont make God mad or he will turn you into a cat and release the hounds. Right God?
Hates women.
Hates cats.
Hmmm…seeing a trend here.
Hates pussy in all its forms….but also hates anal….
Either he’s an abject misogynist or a closeted gay man…
…or from Texas…
That there is smite talk. Watch out.
… and on top of that you didn’t capitalize ‘He’
I almost feel bad your going to get gang raped by demons in lab coats.
LOL Carlos Mencia. You still got it God!
I use to have a cat. I can’t tell you the number of times I woke up in the middle of the night to find him intently staring at me while standing on my chest. Come to think of it, that purring sound does sound a little demonic.
Does God only hate only domestic cats? What about Lions, Leopards, and Tigers? Though they’re mostly Africa natives so, he must hate them. But wild cats make awesome predators, i.e. Siegfried and Roy.
DAMN YOU LARRY GAMI!! I AM NOT HERE FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT!!
YOU CAT-OWNER!! I SMITE YOU!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0kfe5tkdD4&feature=related
mmmmmm……demons…..
Awww… but I love cats. I guess God and I will just have to agree to disagree.
Cooper,
I hate ALL cats - of course including lions. Those demonic beasts ate My People in Roman times! This is why to this day I still bless all lion poachers.
“He that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him.” — Leviticus 24:16
Cats are’nt evil, but you are!
If you hate all cats so much, god, then why did you bless the Fighting Tigers of LSU and allow them to stomp ohio state into the ground to win the 2007 BCS national championship?
Also, thanks a lot for smiting Mike V on the day of my graduation. Suck a long fat one, god (and since its not anal, you are ok with that, right?).
Please tell me then next entry on “stuff god hates” is going to be the BCS. AP sportswriters are the spawn of satan and cheaty petey carrol.
Yay the return of Bridgette!
Yay, the return of are’nt!
Bridgette’s right though.
God is evil. Why else would so much suffering go unabated in the face of an omnipotent being?
i know someone who’s cat shit on his chest. that reason alone is enough to absolutely love cats.
god, you buggin’ yo
God,
Do you have a special smitting in mind for Stephen King, the writer of the movie Cat’s Eye? It is a movie that shows cats as heros.
I am sure that it was Satan long with the arch-demon known as Andrew Lloyd Webber that made the musical Cats the longest running musical in Broadway history (personally I thought it was crap).
Your humble servant,
Josh
Dear God,
Why not hate natural disasters? Or do you love them? Is that why there have been two in as many weeks that have killed tens of thousands? Do you make them happen in Asia because those people don’t believe in you?
Love,
Chunque
Yeah the musical “Cats” was horrible. I wish god would have smitten me during that 3-hour piece of garbage.
Josh,
Indeed, Satan was responsible for the success of the musical “Cats.” He even inserted himself into the show as “Mr. Mestopheles.” It took Me and My Team of Angels until 2000 to get that wretched demonic filth off of Broadway.
And for that, I am deeply sorry.
wow…didn’t see that one coming…why are they so adorable then God? You know my cat Hobbes is an obediant, albeit crazy creature that isn’t afraid to show her love…..some cats act like dogs…anyways I thoroughly disagree here…if anything when they poop on your chest while your sleeping it makes for a great memory…one to be divulged, elaborated on and laughed at for years to come by those who witnessed it (the un-pooped on).
Hater.
BTW, David Brooks — love or hate?
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/13/opinion/13brooks.html?ref=opinion
You know what I especially hate?
Cats with one eye.
I notice You have been slowing down with the posts. Is God taking final exams too?
Terps,
No, not final exams, whatever those are. I am very busy smiting China right now. Also, My Parents are in town this week, and I rarely get to see them.
Sweet! I’m extra allergic to cats. I can’t wait to get to heaven and start getting head from hot angel-wenches.
God, you don’t have parents, no one came before you! You are the first cause, the first designer. You’re blowing my FUCKING mind man!
YES! I am allergic. I always thought THAT was why I hated cats… because I never could get close enough to one to love it …but no. I just don’t like them.
Not to mention that a certain cat recently threatened to smite you with a wet noodle….
That’s why Studio 60 was canceled? Cats? I’ve always been suspicious of the foul furry felines, but now I have Sacred Truths from the Almighty on my side!
Smite one for me, God!
Dogs for the win. I totally agree. Cats are evil snotty little bastards.
I am happy to learn that you did not create them. My faith in you is restored!
“Cats are evil, and their insolence encourages humans to become atheist.”
Truth. I have cats and I am an atheist. But I am also the Catalyst for the Apocalypse, or so the homeless guy on the corner with the miniature bibble says, so it stands to reason that my minions would be feline.
I think you underestimate the feline mafia. Cats will one day rule the world and it will start with dogs. We’ve already managed to convince the one dog in our household that he too is really a cat in canine disgiuse.
Only 400 million more to go…
[...] why do they let every high school choir come and sing there? I’d rather listen to an elderly cat getting scraped against a [...]
If you hate cats, you must see American Psycho! There’s a scene where the main character kills a cat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yYEX9dV34I
i love cats
will you strike me down now? i can’t resist cats.
Dear God,
since you don’t exist and cats have the advantage of existing, I choose to love them instead of you.
No hard feelings…
Wow, god, you don’t like cats? Lucky for my cats that I worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
His noodly appendages sometimes drop them some meatballs.
wow, bridgette had something else to say!
The problem with cats is that they leave their damn hair all over the place, on your carpet, on your clothes, on your food too.
I suggest that all cats and anything with cat fur on them should be set ablaze.
Why else would doG spelled backwards be God?
[...] At least I’m not the only one. [...]
As I was reading this, I thought “Oh hell. I know some idiot is going to read this blog and actually go out and shoot a cat.” I can only hope people aren’t that redneck retarded. Also, why is it, God, that people in the south are stupid?
Hmm anyways…..I read this blog all the time and I love it. I laugh at the fact that you hate women because welllll I hate women too. I find them annoying and insipid. (the funny thing is, I am a girl. And I’m bi.)
But anyhow, I love this, it’s so funny, keep going =)
(p.s. I love cats. A lot.)
tee hee
God, You should have only create one type of pussy and left it at that!
Chris
Cats are evil creatures created by Satan who turn people towards Atheism. That’s why i love them!
Have you seen the dead raccoon sprawled out in my pictures?
It’s likely he was following a cat home to get some kitty chow when that “Jaguar” smote him!
In that position he kind of looks like a dead dog…
Why not get a large dog and force him to protect his cat friends by raising them together from birth?
And you can eat that dead raccoon now god.
(all weather atheist- atheist nexus. )
I have two adorable little kittens.
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.
oh, well, i guess i’m damned then. then again, if you smite my kitties Ninja Cat and Puddle will come after you. Some fae get VERY ANNOYED when you smite their personal animals.
if you can’t find matching socks, you’ll know who to blame!
I think you are pritty mest up? god loves and created all creatues the same!!
This is some of the trashiest garbage I’ve seen on the Internet. You really must be DOG.
These are some of your followers DOG………….
History and Purpose of the Freemasons and other Secret Societies
If you patiently read the following paragraphs of historical explanation, you may come to an understanding of “the hidden mysteries of nature and science”. Then we can discuss Freemasonry, and you will see truths your Worshipful Master has never contemplated.
From the Garden of Eden a battle has raged between two deadly enemies. The battle began when Lucifer incarnate the serpent, a man-like creature - great giant of a fellow, until God changed every bone in his body and put him upon his belly. Lucifer being God’s right-hand man, knew that God’s Plan was to build a kingdom. Knowing it would be inherited by Michael, (or Christ), he became jealous and set about gaining it for himself.
God commanded man to multiply, fill and subdue the earth, and to have dominion over it. But by his wisdom, Lucifer knew that as the seed of a horse can fertilize a donkey to produce the hybrid mule God never created, so the seed of the serpent could fertilize the woman and create a hybrid species uncreated by God. And whenever the offspring of Eve by the serpent intermingled with the seed of Adam, the progeny would always be serpent’s seed, and NOT on the Book of Life. So he incarnate the serpent and seduced Eve.
From that time to this there have been two races of people on this earth. The seed of Cain, and the seed of Adam. Cain was begotten of that wicked one (I John 3:12). Abel was the son of Adam who was the (only) son of God (Luke 3:38). God placed enmity, that’s “hatred,” between us. Lucifer knew that by miscegenation, he could exterminate the seed of Adam and thus fall heir to the kingdom of Christ.
In the time of Noah, God destroyed the world with the Flood because of miscegenation between the races of Adam and Cain. The serpent seed was in the Ark and it is with us to this day. It populated the land of Canaan, and afterwards spread throughout the world (Genesis 10:18).
God made a Covenant with Abraham, and promised his seed would inherit the land of Canaan. As the Promise unfolded we find Abraham’s seed was not to be Ishmael, but would come through his wife Sarah.
Their son, Isaac, had twins. Isaac’s first-born, Esau, sold his birthright to his younger brother, Jacob. Esau then married two serpent-seed women and an Ishmaelite, whose offspring intermarried with the serpent seed. Thus Esau committed “genocide” for that was the end of the Adamic lineage in Esau whose nation became known as Edom.
Edom is “The people against whom the Lord has indignation forever” (Malachi 1:4). It disappeared from history through miscegenation with Israel and has assumed the name “Jew”.
God told Moses, when Israel conquers the Land, they must utterly slay all of its serpent seed inhabitants. Israel were disobedient and eventually found themselves dominated and ruled by these people.
From before the days of Christ there was intense hatred between Rome and the “Jews”. Jacob and Esau strove together in Rebecca’s womb, and when Esau was born, Jacob grasped him by the heel. The hated and rivalry between these two enemies of God is to this day the root of earth’s geopolitical struggles.
When the Ten Tribes of the Northern Kingdom began worshiping the pagan trinity, He dispersed them by the Assyrians. Later when the Southern Kingdom adopted this pagan worship, God sent Nebuchadnezzar to destroy Jerusalem and the temple, and take the people captive to Babylon.
At the end of the captivity, many of the Hebrew people declined to return. Remaining in Babylon, they intermarried and assimilated, so that for the next fifteen hundred years, Babylon, and not Jerusalem, was Israel’s theological headquarters. Whilst the returnees brought with them the Babylonian fractional reserve banking system (usury), calendar, the synagogue form of worship, rabbis, Cabbala, and the beginnings of the Talmud and Pharisaism.
John Hyrcanus, Judah’s high priest, seeking perhaps to heal the breach between the descendants of Esau and Jacob, forcibly converted the Edomites (or Idumeans) to Judaism. In 37BC, Herod the Great succeeded John when the Romans made him ruler of all Judea - now called Idumea, because of the overwhelming number of Edomites in the population.
Herod was an Idumean who married into John’s family, the Maccabees. Thus by the time of Christ, the majority of “Jews” were unrelated to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob by blood, and certainly not by faith. The religion of the Judeans was no longer the Law and the Prophets, but “the traditions of the elders” which had been compiled as the Babylonian Talmud by about AD500. This Babylonian religion called “Pharisaism” became Talmudism. In turn, Talmudism became Medieval Rabbinism, which became Modern Rabbinism we call “Judaism” today.
Lucifer was trying to steal the Kingdom from Jesus Christ by the same ploy he used in the garden of Eden. Miscegenation. Esau’s descendants controlled the temple through the dominance of the Pharisees, and their Edomite king ruled under Rome. They had assumed or stolen the identity of these so-called “Chosen People” and were certainly not willing to receive a Messiah and King from the House of David. This was why Herod tried to kill all the boy children from two years of age and less (Matthew 2:16).
Who killed the Lord Jesus? The Bible says it was “the chief priests and Pharisees” who accused Him and cried, “His blood be upon us and upon our children”. Their hatred has not abated over the centuries today pagan Esau/Edom, who is not even on the Book of Life, continues to affront God and to persecute Jacob/Israel.
The spirit of Satan permeated the four Gentile empires of Babylon, Medo-Persia, Greece and Rome, destroying each from within. Finally he penetrating Christendom as once he infiltrated and usurped the Old Testament priesthood, transforming Imperial Roman rule into a FALSE religious power with the organization of the pagan Roman Catholic church at the First Nicea Council of AD325.
Any student of history knows that the few Christians who attended Nicea left before the Council sat, for apostate Jews who controlled the proceedings had arranged their usual Hegelian FALSE alternative of thesis and antithesis in the form of two heresies as Satan had set the Sadducees and the Pharisees before Jesus, and later Paul. Here he set the heretics Arius and his Unitarianism, and Athanasius and his Trinitarian, together with their followers, in opposition against one another, the Christians, and God.
The Babylonian form of worship was introduced into nominal, carnal Christianity, with the organization of the Roman Universal church. Their false trinity of gods, and false water baptism in three Titles, instead of in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ; the Bible-denying Nicene Creed, and church-State union. Soon, the controlled State church was killing all who refused Rome’s false trinity and water baptism. Their mark of the beast. Scores of millions were martyred through almost a thousand years of Dark Ages.
Throughout the past 2,000 years, Satan’s military, in the guise of the self-styled Jews, (who are basically physical serpent’s seed hybrid), has persecuted the natural seed of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob who are Hebrews and genuine Israelites. Then, in the shape of the Roman Catholic FALSE church, whose sons are spiritual serpent’s seed, bastard-born children of her creed hybrid with God’s Word, it has persecuted the Spiritual Seed of Abraham, the true Church made up of both Israelites and Gentiles.
Both of them hail from Babylon! And if you are a Mason who has studied the Craft, you will recognize that much of its allegory is drawn from pagan mythology. This mythology originated in Chaldea (Babylon), spread to Egypt, and from there the Hebrews received It. The major sources of information are in the records of Egyptian and Grecian culture. Egypt received her science and mathematics from the Chaldeans and Greece received hers from Egypt. Since the priests were in charge of teaching these sciences and they formed a part of their religion, we know how the Babylonish religion gained its strength in these two countries. And whenever one nation was able to subdue another, in due time the religion of the subduer became the religion of the subdued. As is well known, the Greeks had the same signs of the Zodiac as the Babylonians; and according to the ancient Egyptian records the Egyptians gave the Greeks their knowledge of polytheism. Thus the Babylonian mysteries spread from nation to nation until in Rome, China, India, and even in North and South America, we find the same basic worship.
The battle between “the children of God” and “the children of disobedience” is raging today. And there are myriad levels of “initiation,” or battle fronts into this conspiracy, which is executing a secret plan of Darkness, even as God’s Holy Bible is unfolding the mystery of Light or true Illumination. As a consequence we encounter numerous secret societies, or “societies with secrets,” which all ultimately serve the same master.
The three great distinguishing principles of secret societies are secrecy, their peculiar emphasis on benevolence, and their system of regalia, badges, rank and formalities, as well as many incidental practices that are radically false, and plainly opposed to sound reason and the Word of God.
Jesus said to the high priest: “I spoke openly to the world; and in secret I have said nothing” (John 18:20).
Jesus foretold, “as it was in the days of Noah this accursed hybreeding will repeat in the days of My ‘parousia’ or Coming” (Matthew 24:37-41). Christ’s parousia began in 1963 with the revelation of the Seven Seals which brought Him back to earth in Word form. And we have miscegenation between East and West on a scale not seen since the Flood. Multiracialism veiled as what is euphemistically called ‘multiculturalism’. And the mixing of religions.
For twenty centuries the “Jews” have never ceased to reiterate their rejection of Jesus. With concentrated intensity they’ve bent themself to the task of assaulting the Church, which He founded, and in which He lives. This purpose, and their persecution of natural Israel has bound them together: into a stubborn, alien knot that refuses to be dissolved into any society.
Through a rabbit warren of secret societies, the old boundaries have been broken down and we see the open conspiracy drawn up by Fabian Socialist H.G. Wells, transformed in our sight. The enemies of the first and the second Adam are behind all this; rather than being “God’s Chosen”, they are His accursed! Satan is using them to work his purposes.
“Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant”. The smug conceit of ’secret knowledge’ with which she hoped to teach her innocent husband caused Eve to stumble and fall from grace. Eve had acquired carnal knowledge but with it came death. True Spiritual revelation (or faith) from God is Life and peace. God is trying to unveil His secrets through intimate faith, not second-hand learning. The prophet of Malachi 4:5-6 and Revelation 10:7 “finished the mystery of God” in 1963. God’s channel of revelation is this prophetic ministry whereby Christ revealed the Seven Seals. He is not seeking to hide, but to unfold His mystery to whomsoever will.
Does it matter if there are secrets and secret societies? Is there anything wrong with being a member of a secret society?
When asked such questions those who belong to a secret society frequently deny their membership. When the motive for belonging is requested, it is said that their purpose in joining was for fellowship and connections; and the larger the secret society, the more connections. However, in the case of a secret society like Yale’s Skull and Bones, we don’t have a large membership. It is power that draws one to Bones.
Secret societies frequently ‘determine in the depths the changes that take place on the surface’ (Arthur Edward Waite, Quoted by A. Ralph Epperson, The Unseen Hand (1985) p. 126).
William Edward Smith suggested: ‘Anything that is good should not be kept secret; and anything kept secret is not to the benefit whether it be good or bad, as it tends to the breach of our Constitution and the establishment of arbitrary power’ (in Christianity and Secret Societies (1936) 25; John 3:19).
Americas have long held to the view that things should be done in the public view. The very idea of a secret government, once unknown to Americans, is anathema. Yet there is a very long history of things being secret - including the convention that established the U.S. Constitution.
There is also a little-known history that includes the concept of unwritten laws and oral traditions with allegiance being made to unknown superiors and masters. This Babylonian form of hidden, all-pervading power was adopted by the Talmudic Jews and later infused as ‘Christian theology’ by their Roman Catholic system of false worship. Those who meet in secret conclave appear to have an aversion for paramount written constitutions, that every citizen is capable of reading and knowing. The secret society is generally based on a hierarchy afraid of discovery, with secret membership, meetings and oaths, claims of brotherhood and unknown superiors.
The Council on Foreign Relations, Bilderbergers, Federal Reserve Board, and the Trilateral Commission all meet in secret. However, membership lists are available for each of these groups except for the Bildebergers.
Perhaps one of the earliest stories we have learned is about the Greeks and their Trojan Horse. When the walls of Troy were found to be too strong to breach, the Greeks built a tall wooden Horse and left it outside the city. Jubilant at seeing the Greeks depart, the Trojans opened their gates and let the horse come in. They celebrated and slept. In the middle of the night the Greeks came out of the belly of the horse, opened the gates and took the city. The principle of vigilance and the surprise attack! Those who are weaker or wish to have lower casualties attack without warning, as cats sneak up on their prey which might otherwise outrun them.
The ancient Spartans built a military machine ‘capable not only of suppressing revolts - but of nipping them in the bud’ (Michael Cheilik, Ancient History 1969). Five magistrates, overseers, or ephori were elected each year (Ward, p. 103). The ephori were five secret despots or supreme judges of the system invented by Chilon, a wise man of Greece. They trained a number of young men as assassins and ordered them to be ready at any minute with daggers to waylay helots (enslaved Greeks) and butcher them in sufficient numbers to keep down the labor force to a schedule tabulated at their political councils. ‘The ephori had boundless authority’ (Osborne Ward, II The Ancient Lowly (1910), p. 95).
One of the functions of the ephori was to see that the ambuscades were carried out (Ward, p. 104). ‘The ambuscades were accomplished at moments of the profoundest peace and when the innocent victims were productive’ (Ward, p. 102). ‘The ephori ordained that a number of young aristocratic men arm themselves with daggers and secretly sneak off into the mountains and jungles with knapsack of provisions. They were called together by governors. The toilers, who were without arms or any means of defense, were then set upon by the assassins’ (Ward, p. 104).
Plutarch wrote: ‘The governors of the youth ordered the shrewdest of them from time to time to disperse themselves in the country, provided only with daggers and some necessary provisions. In the day time they hid themselves and rested in the most private places they could find; but at night they sallied out into the roads and killed all the Helots they could meet with. Nay, sometimes by day, they fell upon them in the fields and murdered the ablest and strongest of them’ (Ward, p. 105).
Periander advised Thrasybulus to cut off the tops of the tallest ears of corn. (Aristotle’s Politics and Poetics 146, translated by Benjamin Jowett and Thomas Twining (1952), Book 5, X).
‘The ephors armed certain young Spartans as a special and secret police (the krypteia) empowered to spy upon the people and to kill Helots at their discretion’ (Durant at 80). If you read both Books of Maccabees, you will discover whom the Spartans really were. They were not Greeks, but Jews.
The Helots were spied upon all the time. At intervals the most outstanding of the Helots were killed ‘as a way of cutting down leadership before it could organize a revolt’ (Milton Meltzer at 87).* Plutarch mentions that sometimes large numbers
Kim,
I bet you spend your days masturbating in a pile of your own excrement while wearing a tin foil hat.
there’s an old saying that we get the god we deserve.
you found your DOG; enjoy……..
Kim, can you provide a tl;dr version of your screed?
is this what you want?
http://www.biblebelievers.org.au/masons.htm
No. “tl;dr” means “too long; didn’t read”.
It was too long so I didn’t read it. Can you give me a two-sentence precis so I can see whether it sounds interesting enough to read?
Thanks.
don’t waste your time.
It’s just like the garbage written about cats by GOD .
That’s why I posted it…….