Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
In this entry I, The Almighty Lord, declare My Righteous Anger with a very large group of human idiots – the 9/11* conspiracy theorists.
Do you know who I’m talking about? These are the scummy people who always try to convince you that the U.S. government or terrorists were the ones responsible for 9/11.
Their preposterous theories include such notions as:
The World Trade Center Buildings were wired with explosives.
United 93 was shot down by the military.
Muslim terrorists hijacked airplanes and flew them into the buildings.
Isn’t it amazing what some people will believe? Completely ludicrous! There is no conspiracy. Everyone with half-a-brain knows it was ME!
Well, they should know anyway. They’ve all been told, over and over again, by the news media (or their sweaty pothead friend) that it was either Osama bin Laden or George W. Bush who did it.
Nope! Sorry! Neither one of those stupid spoiled brats had anything to do with it. I and I alone, The Sovereign Lord God Almighty, was responsible for every phase of the operation – the planning, the flying, the blowing shit up – that was all Me! And quite frankly, I’m sick of other people getting all the credit for My Awesome Works.
I mean, what the hell do I have to do? I even posed in the smoke for you people and what do you do? You give the credit to Satanus. GRRGGH!
It’s like people these days don’t even believe that I’m capable of hate, anger or seriously smiting some shit. But I don’t give a flying fuck. I smote America on 9/11 ’cause I was bored and looking for some fun.
Believe Me human, I am no lovey-dovey-hippie-wuss. I’ll destroy this entire planet again and start over from scratch if I feel like it. Just say the word!
*The phrase 9/11 refers to a series of super-incredible smitings that took place on September 11, 2001.
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Lol the satan one is lame. I seen the vid
Dear God,
As a conspiracy theorist myself I resent this post. But I still Loooooove you!
LOL. true dat…damn God. You fucked up~!
haha. say what you want. it was Bush. they did it for the money.
What about columbine. Did you have a hand in that one?
Dave,
No. Duh. As if! Columbine was done by Marilyn Manson, Eminem and Satan, all working together.
I thought all three of those were the same person.
“He that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him.” — Leviticus 24:16
Shame on you!
And all this time I thought Dick Franing was responsible for 9/11. Go figure.
You mean you’re going to stop giving out flying fudge????
No point praying now….
I guess the world just got mixed up when You started talking to the Bush.
i’m boycotting this blog until imaG and chunque are no longer permitted to just come in here whoring their own shit.
or until i’m bored.
Unpleasant Jew,
I agree. Their insolence and whoring has gone on long enough! They shall obey or they shall be banished into hell!
Dude….like everyone totally knows it was the government…don’t try and trip me up God dude….like the government was all about planting explosives in those buildings because they want to kill people…like totally…anyways…do you know where I can get some killer kush God dude? Like I’ve only smoked twice today…..what….oh yeah the government did it.
Bridgette: Congrats! You are almost as faithful a reader as I am! I bet your little fingers quiver with quiet anticipation as you click your way to this site every day to see what terrible and horrible blasphemy has been written by this godless blogger. You leave a note of derision every time, but not until you have read the blog entry… because, secretly, in your prudish little heart, you like reading this shit! Stop pursing your lips, darling, you know it’s true! Now your eyes flash with false consternation - truly you are mad at being so simply transparent. Come, join us as we dance in the light of the pagan fire that is the Internet! Set yourself free!
so yeah what were you saying?
You are banished imaG!
Go plug your piece-of-shit website somewhere else.
Everyone here hates you imaG!
And for the record, I’ve been reading “imaG” to sound like “i-maj”…. not the way you wanted it to sound, “I’m a G.” You asshole.
imaG,
Real G’s don’t blog or post comments on other people’s/deity’s blogs, they’re too busy doing G things.
God,
This one was not as funny as your other ones.
Your humble servant,
Josh
DAMN YOU IMAG!!! I SMITE YOU!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VeaA6rXGrs&feature=related
That’s what you get, punk!
The real cause of 9-11 was Larry Ellison (who’s hand was clearly puppeteer by the lord almighty).
Impressive.
I’m not okay with this.
I know it’s been six years but still, man, not cool.
weiboldt,
what could possibly be not cool about this? I don’t get it.
Oh you whiny hypocritical pissant! You can’t even follow your own damn commandments. Wasn’t it you who said, “Thou shalt not lie?” Then you go and lie like a rug broadcasting that YOU masterminded a plot of mine? I have to laugh. I, Satan, am the one who masterminded the plot and it was utterly brilliant! Take it from me, you could NEVER come up with a plan quite as wonderful as 9/11. Get over yourself!
Lighten up wieboldt. 9/11 literally was a God-send, cuz now we can make 9/11 jokes instead of the tired Holocaust jokes we made for decades.
NOTE: Holocaust jokes still funny.
LMAO. thankyou terps. that was friggin hilarious.
Josh - I think this post is funny, but probably more satirical than say the dancing one. think about it, people like Pat Robertson and other minister-fucks said at the time of 911 that God was punishing America. Here we have God admitting that he did it and proud of it. how absurd does it make them look for saying that? I love it. South Park does that kind of stuff all the time - take people’s crazy beliefs and treat them as if they were actually true. they did that with their 911 episode - Bush and Cheney gloating about how they did it ‘for the money, beautiful money.’
Hey man, I love your work and laugh my ass off at all of your blogs but I feel this 9/11 thing was going a little TOO far. I’m not dissing you or saying that you should stop though. Keep the creative-ness flowing, it just felt a little wrong ya’ know?
Ben,
I got it, I understand it, it just didn’t have the “pop” of God’s previous works. It’s still better than most of the utter sh!t people blog about, but based on God’s track record, it was not that good.
Josh
PS - Pat Robertson is the biggest blasphemer of them all. I can’t wait till he gets his comeuppance
I love Bridgette.
Josh,
true true. God needs to hurry up and smite PR quick. (although this God seems to be the one Pat talks about)
did god make duckies first, or eggs?
http://whichcamefirsttheduckieortheegg.com
This blog just wouldn’t be the same without Bridgette.
Fuck your shitty blog, just ducky.
How do you feel about the people that stand on the corner with signs saying that we should all repent or we will go to hell and they say that you hate “fags” and we will be judged harshly after death.
Dave,
I love them. They are telling the truth. Except for the part about Me hating ‘fags.’ As I have already stated in My Post about Anal, I do not hate gay people. Just anal.
But yes, after death, you will indeed be judged harshly, even if you were mostly good. A God has got to have standards after all!
What about Michael Moore? He is more of a liar than a conspiracy theorist? And he is a glutton.
do you hate only 911 conspiracy theorists or any conspiracy theorist?
Cooper,
True, Michael Moore is a fat bastard and a liar. I think I will smite him.
Chocoholic,
I hate all conspiracy theorists. I hate people who question things in general - that leads to all sorts of problems for Me.
“I hate all conspiracy theorists. I hate people who question things in general - that leads to all sorts of problems for Me.”
Great comment God.
BTW, is justducky the new imaG (blatantly whoring his pooptastic blog)? And if so, he should probably recieve a hefty smite, in my humble humble opinion.
Did you fire the shot that killed JFK?
good god!! uh, I mean very good, God!
Dave,
In answer to your question, I refer you to the FAQ.
http://stuffgodhates.wordpress.com/2008/04/25/ask-god/#comment-347
You know, I once creeped out an agnostic by mentioning that all those people who thanked you for getting out before the towers fell neglected to take into account that the towers didn’t need to fall, they could just as well have stayed up. Nobody expected it, everyone was very surprised. So, I’m thinking the towers falling instead of just burning was one of your exquisite little touches that just made the day special. And so modest! You didn’t even mention that in your article, but I wanted you to know that people do notice when you go that extra mile.
How come Bridgette isn’t on the list of things Gods hates yet? Is it that she’s already covered by the I-hate-women (in a non-gay way) post? Or is it that she’s unworthy of notice?
Or … God is planning to include her in the future post on non-sentient Bible-spouting machines!
Bridgette, you you eat shrimp and stone your children when they disobey?
So God….You’re a Muslim?
Does God hate?
If I’m not mistaken, God loves all and hates none.
YOU ARE MISTAKEN!
IDIOT!
oh no! bridgette is back!
did you ever imagine if us people decided to all commit suicide, blow ourselves up say ? what can you do with all the rest of the stupid animals to keep you entertained, not to mention all the goldfish to feed yourself ?
longtime reader, first time poster….
God, you just about made me weep with this repost and that song today. I live in the NY area and get sick of all this never forget shit, but coming from you it makes me feel different.
on the topic of 9/11 and all that has happened because of it, please God oh please please please don’t let that wingnut fuckstick McBush get elected. Haven’t we suffered enough?
Erm, Dubya McCain won’t even be elected because Satanus’ plans to rig the voting process will be thwarted by Your Almighty Heavenly God.
I knew it was you God. In my heart I knew it–just like Jerry Falwell, Pat Buchanan and all those other fundy fuckers knew it.
I knew because you’d already practiced on the Tower of Babel and the walls of Jericho, and Papa Batzrubble’s barn.
They were great trial runs God! You sure are the most jealous, angry, righteous, smiting deity of them all.
Making fun of 9/11 isn’t funny.
But clown-slapping those fools and paraoids who believe it to be a government conspiracy, well, that’s funny!
I hope there’s a special place in Hell for the fundamentalists who organized 9/11. I’ll volunteer to apply red-hot pincers to their shrivelled ball sacks while they get ass-raped by 71 Virginians.
Do you really think a plane flew into the Pentagon, Yo?
It crashed, parts hit the Pentagon, so, yeah. Nothing to question.
“But clown-slapping those fools and paranoids who believe it to be a government conspiracy, well, that’s funny!”
Exactly Yo! Evidence the best ever episode of South Park:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MELaLQLLMYg
Uh huh… add me to that list you’ve got going on but I wouldn’t advise calling me a fundamentalist.
Yes it is Yo yo, anything is funny.
yeah…geez yoyo….hasn’t it been long enough?? i’d say it’s funny now.
HAPPY 9/11 DAY EVERYBODY!!!
Sorry, Yo. I’m tired and completely misread what you wrote. I’m also making typo after typo. Damn chiba. Damn lack of sleep.
It is funny that we supposedly blame Osama bin Ladin for 9/11 yet we never really put a whole lot of effort into catching him. Things that make you go ‘hmmmm’.
Shut. Up. Ben.
Nun, that’s because we have a fool in the White House. “Nineteen of the terrorists were from Saudia Arabia? Let’s attack Iraq!”
If we’d concentrated on Vaginistan and sealed the porous borders with the troops sent to Iraq, we’d have Bin-bin by now.
thanks, yo. someone needed to tell him to shut up.
aren’t we winning the war in iraq? shit. even if we are, isn’t it still the WRONG WAR?!! who cares if finally, 6 years later, we start to see a little bit of progress? it’s still the WRONG FUCKING COUNTRY!!!!!!!!! pakistan now has what is referred to as al qaeda STRONGHOLDS…no longer safehavens, strongholds. jesus homo christ. this is all fucked up.
those towers were kind of an eyesore anyway, so, you know…whatever.
I’ll tell you what, Yo. I’m one of those 9/11 conspiracy theorists. I do not believe a plane flew into the Pentagon, I believe a missile did. I do not believe a plane crashed into that field in Pennsylvania, I was watching all this on television that day(just like everybody else) and remember pondering “where is all the debris??”. When the theories started coming out, it seems like I wasn’t the only one that noticed the lack of debris in the middle of that Pennsylvanian field. Where I differ from some of the other theorists is that I do believe two planes flew into the WTC and I have no problem believing that they were commercial airliners and not military jets. However, I have serious doubts that 9/11 was put into motion by anybody other than Americans looking out for their own agenda.
Where’s Josh? He lives in NY, I wonder what his 2p worth is.
Yes, we squandered the goodwill we had (from Muslim countries, too) in Iraq. We polarized moderates and made the fundies even more crazy. As you say, cracka, wrong war, wrong country.
At one time we bombed Libya, now Condy Rice makes visits to the same compound we bombed. We didn’t invade, we used diplomatic and economic pressure to persuade, not force.
oh shit…nun….shit. shit, shit, shit.
shit.
i believe in blah blah blah blah blah blah smoke weed blah blah blah conspiracies are way better when you’re high on weed blah blah blah weed.
All seriousness aside, 9/11 was God’s Divine Doing. We should all be grateful for His Divine Wrath. People in the WTC knew that. Why else do you think all those people were jumping to their deaths? They couldn’t wait to go see God.
I’m not surprised that’s your viewpoint. You’re a fucking cracka.
Nun, an airplane is most air, it’s a thin aluminum can. Look for all the wreckage from ValuJet FLight 592, in Florida. Not much, really. Was that a conspiracy, too?
Look at this website for more info: http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread79655/pg1
Yeah, get me my sweet chiba - sweet fvcking Jesus!
You believe your theories and I’ll believe mine.
The only large, heavy parts to a jet plane are the engine castings and struts. Did someone ’seed’ them onto the Pentagon to make it look like a jetliner struck the building?
Nun=Nut.
he’s right, nun, there’s not much to it. we’ve all seen the paranoid movies about it, but, COME ON!!
You guys aren’t going to change my mind so I don’t know why you’re even trying.
remember, nun, we’re the ones who LOVE you (rape is love). so don’t get all offended when we tell you this: you’re a lunatic.
i don’t want to change your mind. i want to sell you into sex slavery in thailand.
I’m not offended. It says more about the name-caller than the name-callee.
Nun, I get offended when truth is offered and someone believes his on strange ideas.
Did you look at the many websites refuting the conspiracy lunacies (I won’t dignify them by calling them theories.) Did you look at the one example I offered?
Nun, do you want God to smite you?? holy shit, admitting to being a 9/11 conspiracy theorist on the post where he declares his hatred of them! do you want to lose all your weed again? that’s like admitting to being a woman on the women post.
My beliefs are none of your business, Yo.
Offering lies says something about you.
ah….beliefs. you said it nun. BELIEFS. that’s the kind of thing we hate, right? crazy beliefs? i thought we were all about FACTS around here.
well that and vagina jokes.
God already took my chiba, Ben. It’s made me cranky.
Sadly, your beliefs have nothing to do with reality. I don’t like deliberate insanity.
Eye Witness Testimony
Aydan Kizildrgli, an English language student who is a native of Turkey, saw the jetliner bank slightly then strike a western wall of the huge five-sided building that is the headquarters of the nation’s military. ‘There was a big boom,’ he said. ‘Everybody was in shock. I turned around to the car behind me and yelled “Did you see that?” Nobody could believe it.’”
- “Bush Vows Retaliation for ‘Evil Acts’.” USA Today, 11 Sep 2001
“Frank Probst, an information management specialist for the Pentagon Renovation Program, left his office trailer near the Pentagon’s south parking lot at 9:36 a.m. Sept. 11. Walking north beside Route 27, he suddenly saw a commercial airliner crest the hilltop Navy Annex. American Airlines Flight 77 reached him so fast and flew so low that Probst dropped to the ground, fearing he’d lose his head to its right engine.”
- “A Defiant Recovery.” The Retired Officer Magazine, January 2002
“Omar Campo, a Salvadorean, was cutting the grass on the other side of the road when the plane flew over his head. ‘It was a passenger plane. I think an American Airways plane,’ Mr Campo said. ‘I was cutting the grass and it came in screaming over my head. I felt the impact. The whole ground shook and the whole area was full of fire. I could never imagine I would see anything like that here.’”
- “Pentagon Eyewitness Accounts.” The Guardian, 12 Sep 2001
“Afework Hagos, a computer programmer, was on his way to work but stuck in a traffic jam near the Pentagon when the plane flew over. ‘There was a huge screaming noise and I got out of the car as the plane came over. Everybody was running away in different directions. It was tilting its wings up and down like it was trying to balance. It hit some lampposts on the way in.’”
- “Pentagon Eyewitness Accounts.” The Guardian, 12 Sep 2001
“Henry Ticknor, intern minister at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington, Virginia, was driving to church that Tuesday morning when American Airlines Flight 77 came in fast and low over his car and struck the Pentagon. ‘There was a puff of white smoke and then a huge billowing black cloud,’ he said.”
- “Hell on Earth.” UU World, Jan/Feb 20
“We were the only people, we think, who saw it live,” Dan Creed said. He and two colleagues from Oracle software were stopped in a car near the Naval Annex, next to the Pentagon, when they saw the plane dive down and level off. “It was no more than 30 feet off the ground, and it was screaming. It was just screaming. It was nothing more than a guided missile at that point,” Creed said. “I can still see the plane. I can still see it right now. It’s just the most frightening thing in the world, going full speed, going full throttle, its wheels up,” - Ahwatukee Foothill News
Gary Bauer former Presidential candidate, “I looked at the woman sitting in the car next to me. She had this startled look on her face. We were all thinking the same thing. We looked out the front of our windows to try to see the plane, and it wasn�t until a few seconds later that we realized the jet was coming up behind us on that major highway. And it veered to the right into the Pentagon. The blast literally rocked all of our cars. It was an incredible moment.” Massachusetts News
Sean Boger, Air Traffic Controller and Pentagon tower chief - “I just looked up and I saw the big nose and the wings of the aircraft coming right at us and I just watched it hit the building,” Air Traffic Controller and Pentagon tower chief Sean Boger said. “It exploded. I fell to the ground and covered my head. I could actually hear the metal going through the building.” dcmilitary.com November 16, 2001
“The only way you could tell that an aircraft was inside was that we saw pieces of the nose gear. The devastation was horrific. It was obvious that some of the victims we found had no time to react. The distance the firefighters had to travel down corridors to reach the fires was a problem. With only a good 25 minutes of air in their SCBA bottles, to save air they left off their face pieces as they walked and took in a lot of smoke,” Captain Defina said. Captain Defina was the shift commander [of an aircraft rescue firefighters crew.] NFPA Journal November 1, 2001
Exactly, Ben… “BELIEFS”. I’m entitled to my beliefs as others are entitled to theirs. When people shove their beliefs down the throats of others, they are no better than anybody else who practices that kind of behavior.
Beliefs ain’t truth. The Earth is round. The Universe is about 15 billion years old. Truth is better than belief.
I think people who refuse to know the truth of the facts of 9/11 just have severe emotional problems. they cannot accept that we could EVER not be the bad guy.
either that, or it really is the weed. every person i know who smokes WAAAY too much weed believes in those theories.
Give it a rest, Yo. I’m not going to fall for your attempt to continue this discussion just because you keep insulting me.
My 2¢:
All kidding aside, within 30 seconds of the planes crashing into the WTC towers, 9/11 was already being funny.
we don’t believe. we know.
There are some that can never accept that we could be the bad guy.
Sorry, Nun, I’ll pat you on the head and let you relapse into your fantasy life. Good Nun - go smoke something.
true that, Lucifer. I was as shocked as anybody as I watched TV, and then I looked over at my boxer Schnapps, and it was panting and smiling and as happy as ever. and then it licked its twat.
who should we make fun of next?
Don’t apologize and then insult me again, Yo. Sometimes, people who claim to be open-minded prove without a shadow of a doubt that they aren’t.
cracka, anyone else that says something foolish.
thats wrong Nun, i definitely accept that we can and very often are the bad guy. just not in this instance.
i don’t believe in all those ridiculous 911 theories, but I would go so far as to say that ok, maybe Bush knew about the attacks and let them happen, like Churchill and the Lusitania. but that’s it. and even that is utterly ludicrous because it means that Bush and Cheney are completely evil and without even a trace of humanity. i find that a bit hard to believe since Bush personally met and hugged and cried with every fucking family that lost someone that day. that would be a bit hard if to do if he let it happen.
finally, the government is WAAAAAY too fucking incompetent to plan such an attack.
it’s like in that movie ‘A Beautiful Mind’ Nun, ya know? when he has that revelation about the little girl, and how she never gets old?
i hope my thoughts on this help….
God, I imagined you looking quite different - not so GWB.
And Satanus usually tells better stories. Or did, until you started your blog.
These days, you can find practically anyone on this planet, but not some guy living in some cave. There’s much more than meets the eye and too many things that don’t make sense.
Being the ‘bad guy’ depends on who’s writing the history.
Uh-huh. Follow the evidence. Oliver Stone believes it’s a conspiracy: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_oliver_stone_9_11_film
Ben, I don’t have a problem with your beliefs. You may very well be right but I’ll keep my mind open and look at all the evidence and make my own decisions. I won’t just believe what the media spoon-feeds me. At the very least, I think Bush knew.
guys, please be nicer to Nun about this. i have seen my own family torn apart by this bullshit. you guys is the only family i got left….:(
CrookedHalo said: “Being the ‘bad guy’ depends on who’s writing the history.”
Ain’t that the fucking truth.
I respect that Nun! I respect that.
What did you think of God’s first song in the God Radio section?
Yo,
I live in NYC and my brother works in DC (lives right outside of it and was on the freeway when the “Plane” crashed).
I’m not 100% with Nun on this but something was up that day. From top to bottom, from Bush getting caught in a lie about when he was informed about 9-11, from the US taking all the footage from security cameras around the pentagon and never releasing ANY of it, to a shitty war, something is going on. When we’re all old and grey the truth will come out. I kind of feel a Pearl Harbor vibe, where the US did not do it but had knowledge beforehand and allowed it to happen.
Maybe God did it all just to make some money for W. They used to be homeboys.
But whateves, all I know is God used His divine timemachine to bring a post back from May!!!! All hail His divine powers that some dickless heathens might construe as laziness!
AMERICAN AIRLINES FLIGHT 77
American Airlines Flight 77, from Washington to Los Angeles, crashed into the Pentagon with 64 people aboard.
CREW
Charles Burlingame of Herndon, Virginia, was the plane’s captain. He is survived by a wife, a daughter and a grandson. He had more than 20 years of experience flying with American Airlines and was a former U.S. Navy pilot.
David Charlebois, who lived in Washington’s Dupont Circle neighborhood, was the first officer on the flight. “He was handsome and happy and very centered,” his neighbor Travis White, told The Washington Post. “His life was the kind of life I wanted to have some day.”
Michele Heidenberger of Chevy Chase, Maryland, was a flight attendant for 30 years. She left behind a husband, a pilot, and a daughter and son.
Flight attendant Jennifer Lewis, 38, of Culpeper, Virginia, was the wife of flight attendant Kenneth Lewis.
Flight attendant Kenneth Lewis, 49, of Culpeper, Virginia, was the husband of flight attendant Jennifer Lewis.
Renee May, 39, of Baltimore, Maryland, was a flight attendant.
PASSENGERS
Paul Ambrose, 32, of Washington, was a physician who worked with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the surgeon general to address racial and ethnic disparities in health. A 1995 graduate of Marshall University School of Medicine, Ambrose last year was named the Luther Terry Fellow of the Association of Teachers of Preventative Medicine.
Yeneneh Betru, 35, was from Burbank, California.
M.J. Booth
Bernard Brown, 11, was a student at Leckie Elementary School in Washington. He was embarking on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Suzanne Calley, 42, of San Martin, California, was an employee of Cisco Systems Inc.
William Caswell
Sarah Clark, 65, of Columbia, Maryland, was a sixth-grade teacher at Backus Middle School in Washington. She was accompanying a student on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Asia Cottom, 11, was a student at Backus Middle School in Washington. Asia was embarking on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
James Debeuneure, 58, of Upper Marlboro, Maryland, was a fifth-grade teacher at Ketcham Elementary School in Washington. He was accompanying a student on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Rodney Dickens, 11, was a student at Leckie Elementary School in Washington. He was embarking on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Eddie Dillard
Charles Droz
Barbara Edwards, 58, of Las Vegas, Nevada, was a teacher at Palo Verde High School in Las Vegas.
Charles S. Falkenberg, 45, of University Park, Maryland, was the director of research at ECOlogic Corp., a software engineering firm. He worked on data systems for NASA and also developed data systems for the study of global and regional environmental issues. Falkenburg was traveling with his wife, Leslie Whittingham, and their two daughters, Zoe, 8, and Dana, 3.
Zoe Falkenberg, 8, of University Park, Maryland, was the daughter of Charles Falkenberg and Leslie Whittingham.
Dana Falkenberg, 3, of University Park, Maryland, was the daughter of Charles Falkenberg and Leslie Whittingham.
Joe Ferguson was the director of the National Geographic Society’s geography education outreach program in Washington. He was accompanying a group of students and teachers on an educational trip to the Channel Islands in California. A Mississippi native, he joined the society in 1987. “Joe Feguson’s final hours at the Geographic reveal the depth of his commitment to one of the things he really loved,” said John Fahey Jr., the society’s president. “Joe was here at the office until late Monday evening preparing for this trip. It was his goal to make this trip perfect in every way.”
Wilson “Bud” Flagg of Millwood, Virginia, was a retired Navy admiral and retired American Airlines pilot.
Dee Flagg
Richard Gabriel
Ian Gray, 55, of Washington was the president of a health-care consulting firm.
Stanley Hall, 68, was from Rancho Palos Verdes, California.
Bryan Jack, 48, of Alexandria, Virginia, was a senior executive at the Defense Department.
Steven D. “Jake” Jacoby, 43, of Alexandria, Virginia, was the chief operating officer of Metrocall Inc., a wireless data and messaging company.
Ann Judge, 49, of Virginia was the travel office manager for the National Geographic Society. She was accompanying a group of students and teachers on an educational trip to the Channel Islands in California. Society President John Fahey Jr. said one of his fondest memories of Judge is a voice mail she and a colleague once left him while they were rafting the Monkey River in Belize. “This was quintessential Ann — living life to the fullest and wanting to share it with others,” he said.
Chandler Keller, 29, was a Boeing propulsion engineer from El Segundo, California.
Yvonne Kennedy
Norma Khan, 45, from Reston, Virginia was a nonprofit organization manager.
Karen A. Kincaid, 40, was a lawyer with the Washington firm of Wiley Rein & Fielding. She joined the firm in 1993 and was part of the its telecommunications practice. She was married to Peter Batacan.
Norma Langsteuerle
Dong Lee
Dora Menchaca, 45, of Santa Monica, California, was the associate director of clinical research for a biotech firm.
Christopher Newton, 38, of Anaheim, California, was president and chief executive officer of Work-Life Benefits, a consultation and referral service. He was married and had two children. Newton was on his way back to Orange County to retrieve his family’s yellow Labrador, who had been left behind until they could settle into their new home in Arlington, Virginia.
Barbara Olson, 45, was a conservative commentator who often appeared on CNN and was married to U.S. Solicitor General Theodore Olson. She twice called her husband as the plane was being hijacked and described some details, including that the attackers were armed with knives. She had planned to take a different flight, but she changed it at the last minute so that she could be with her husband on his birthday. She worked as an investigator for the House Government Reform Committee in the mid-1990s and later worked on the staff of Senate Minority Whip Don Nickles.
Ruben Ornedo, 39, of Los Angeles, California, was a Boeing propulsion engineer.
Robert Penniger, 63, of Poway, California, was an electrical engineer with BAE Systems.
Lisa Raines, 42, was senior vice president for government relations at the Washington office of Genzyme, a biotechnology firm. She was from Great Falls, Virginia, and was married to Stephen Push. She worked with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration on developing a new policy governing cellular therapies, announced in 1997. She also worked on other major health-care legislation.
Todd Reuben, 40, of Potomac, Maryland, was a tax and business lawyer.
John Sammartino
Diane Simmons
George Simmons
Mari-Rae Sopper of Santa Barbara, California, was a women’s gymnastics coach at the University of California at Santa Barbara. She had just gotten the post August 31 and was making the trip to California to start work.
Bob Speisman, 47, was from Irvington, New York.
Hilda Taylor was a sixth-grade teacher at Leckie Elementary School in Washington. She was accompanying a student on an educational trip to the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary near Santa Barbara, California, as part of a program funded by the National Geographic Society.
Leonard Taylor was from Reston, Virginia.
Leslie A. Whittington, 45, was from University Park, Maryland. The professor of public policy at Georgetown University in Washington was traveling with her husband, Charles Falkenberg, 45, and their two daughters, Zoe, 8, and Dana, 3. They were traveling to Los Angeles to catch a connection to Australia. Whittington had been named a visiting fellow at Australian National University in Canberra.
John Yamnicky, 71, was from Waldorf, Maryland.
Vicki Yancey
Shuyin Yang
Yuguag Zheng
The Associated
And I have tremendous respect for the way you approached me about it, Ben.
As for God’s song… I have to wait for the owner to leave and then I’ll listen.
SON OF A BITCH, YOYO!!
like any of us are going to read that.
Sorry, cracka, but it had to be noted. People died. It dishonors their memory to deny it.
And I don’t think God appreciates books being posted on His Divine Blog.
consider yourself the next victim of a glorious smiting, yoyo. and you deserve it, too. just like the victims of 9/11 or children with cancer or the continent of asia. they all tolerate homosexuality. now look at them!
ok yo yo, no one wants to dishonor those poor innocent people who died, they were no different from any of us.
let’s all just agree that Bush knew about it and let it happen. lol. I think this is the middle ground compromise we can all be satisfied with.
Ben, I’ll let it go at that.
I think it’s important to note that the majority of 9/11 conspiracy theorists do not dispute that people died.
nun,
some 9/11 conspiracy nuts think that people from teh future came back and took the people off the planes because in the future haman’s can’t reporduce!
They did a documentary on it called Millennium.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAm1Te2YFsU
And it’s also important to note that the majority of 9/11 conspiracy theorists agree with both Yo Yo being the next victim of major smiting and with Ben shutting up.
Josh,
Some of my fellow conspiracists truly are wacko. We’re not all like that. We don’t all believe that those weren’t commercial airliners flying into WTC. Hell, the documentaries I’ve seen refer to those theorists but refuse to endorse their ideas. We’re not the nutjobs that people like Yo-Yo would have others believe.
lol
Lucifer is funny
Ben stood up for me, after he told me I had emotional problems, so I won’t tell him to shut up. Unless he tells me I have emotional problems again. Then I might bypass the “shut up” and just hunt him down and kick his scrawny little ass. Yo Yo should be smited for pulling a Dick Franing.
who’s been polling the 9/11 conspiracy theorists to find out what a majority of them believe and why is it important for us to give a shit? shouldn’t it be more like: i don’t care what you believe so shut up and prepare to be date raped?
nun’s vagina is laced with explosives. no amount of jet fuel could ever burn through the support beams in her stinkhole. just replace the noun in any sentence with a reference to genitals. it’s SO FUNNY I COULD JUST SHIT.
LOL it is funny it is
i have a theory about theorists: rather than accept the fact that they are ineffectual, anonymous average people they choose to be “in on” the BIG SECRET. that way, they feel like part of an elite club. the few who TRULY KNOW. it’s very similar to religious people. got it figured out. there’s so few of us. the rest of you are DUPED!!
You are obviously the ultimate culprit,god. Mankinds worse atrocities have always been done in the name of some god or other.
Still, I enjoy blaming humanity for making up terrorists and sadists and praying to these figments of their imagination and doing their dirty work.
Did you notice that there are no atheist wars,acts of terrorism and other cruelties like the inquisition?
What a wonderful world this would be if nobody believed in you.
yeah, that actually is a theory postulated by many psychologists about conspiracy theorists, uppity. i saw it on TV. um…yeah. which explains the same type of offended behavior with the ‘belief system’ defense we see here today. sounds a lot like Bridgette….
Karin, one’s God is always better than another’s.
…but unlike Bridgette…we fucking love that thin sexy ass bitch Nun.
Easy, Cracka. There’s a reason why we’re called conspiracy theorists and not conspiracy factists. Besides the fact that ‘factists’ is not a real word.
how’d your head feel this morning, nun?
You mean after you banged it repeatedly into the headboard last night?
right. you’re so hot when you’re unconscious.
You don’t know what you’re missing, Cracka. I’m so much hotter when I’m alert and willing.
First, I’d like to commend God on this blog. He went there, not many would. The last couple entires have been farely bland and at 3:44 pm God Time we already are at 135 posts. Amazing in it’s own right. I still am waiting on God’s post on the smiting of the Large Haydron Collider, all the scientists that worked on it and Frand and Switzerland for funding it and proividing the land - not to mention the search for the sacriligous God particle. Perhaps I’ll post in the smiting section.
Zeus, remember that the first 55 where from teh first time this post was put up.
shut up, Zeus.
great. josh is still alive.
you’ve killed the wrong Josh, I still live.
this post was from months ago Zeus. God is willing to go there, and does most of the time, and then every so often he does personal taste things like ‘This Commercial’ or ‘Onions on Pizza.’ so you know, STFU.
where the hell is that no talent ass clown der dude? if anyone sees him tell i said fuck you.
I am not sure where Yo Yo lives but I had friends, co-workers, and classmates that died on that day. For several hours I thought that I had lost memebers of my immediate family, however, I don’t dismiss the notion that something fishy went on. Perhaps not buying into the moderate conspiracy that US missles were involved but maybe there was knowledge by US or Israeli (or both) intelligence agencies and no one acted because it would lead to justification for invading Iraq and eventually Iran. Of course, the possibility that know one knew anything and that bunch of insane men hijacked airplanes and lived unnoticed inthe US for 8 years taking flight lessons but never being interested in learning how to land is also plausible. The latter and mainstream “facts” are easier to swallow because know one wants to beleive that men, especially American leaders could possibly be complicit in such an atrocity.
Shut up Ben. I love all of my Cousin’s (second, twice removed) blogs. The onions on Pizza was a chart topper. This one was yet even better.
Thanks, Zeus. You have very accurately addressed some of the things that make conspiracy theorists question the events of 9/11.
You shut up, Zeus. You can’t go out of character as much as almost naming friends, co-workers and classmates and then seamlessly slip back into it. YOU’RE A PHONY AND NOT THE REAL ZEUS!
Of course we all know that there was never a Zeus to begin with. Greek god my ass.
I think it’s sweet that Zeus has mortal friends.
Zeus, I am sorry for your friends and coworkers, it must still be Hell for their families.
But, the U.S. government created a vast conspiracy, involving deliberately killing hundreds, no, thousands of innoncents, and no one squealed? Not. (This is the same government that brought us the War on Poverty, War on Hunger, and the War on Drugs, yet we still have those problems.)
Bush deliberately not acting on available information? Possible.
Lucifer said: “Greek god my ass.”
Are you pitching, or catching?
how do you greek god someone’s ass?
Ask Nun.
I wouldn’t know. I’m neither Greek nor a god. Since you’re the one requesting specifics it would lead one to believe that you know exactly how to ‘greek god’ someone’s ass so maybe you should answer the question.
First Satanus,
Shut your pie hole! If you did have any worshippers you’d have to go out and get a real freakin’ job too! If God wasn’t so damn jealous and selfish he throw me a bone and give me a few worshippers then I could quit my job and move back to Olympus. Why DC, well duh numbnuts - all the freakin’ Greek architecture. Γαμώτο!
Yo Yo,
Like I said to I buy it. Perhaps parts of the more reasonable facets -like a 3% acceptance. As you said the “not acting” is the most plausible, but yet this too is still a conspiracy theory (emphasis on theory). I worked for radical Zionist neo-conservative who before 9-11 was screamin’ bloody murder that we did not go into Baghdad during the first Gulf War and take over Iraq so that the US and Israel could have more influence in the region. He went on to be in a very high position in the Pentagon and has even written a book about it.
OK Nun, first, the two (or three) participants have to be of legal age. Lucifer is at least 6000 years old, Zeus admits to being at least 4000, so that’s not a problem. Second, bring the best goat from your flock, a sharp silver knife, and five black candles.
Here my knowledge ends…Lucifer? Zeus? What happens next?
That is “If you DIDN’t have any worshippers” satANUS pissed me off and I can’t type.
I prefer to eat the goat while I’m riding the chocolate highway of any woman. satANUS just fucks the goat.
I’ll worship you, Zeus. I’ll worship anybody that can manifest as Ewan McGregor and come a knockin’ on my door. Just don’t tell God… He gets jealous.
Sweet! A couple more and I’m handing in my resignation. You’ll of course always be my favorite worshipper.
I know exactly how to “greek god” someone’s ass.
if we worship you, what’s in it for us?
Nada for you, Cracka. Zeus doesn’t play gay games.
But Zeus let’s his worshipers do anal, right?
SILENCE!!
NONE OF YOU WILL BE DOING ANY WORSHIPPING OF ZEUS OR YOU WILL FACE THE WORST SMITING THERE IS!!
ZEUS I WILL CRUSH YOU! I WILL CRUSH YOU!
Peep
no shit, nun.
i mean, what can zeus do for us? is he willing to share his devirginized butt sluts? is there anything to eat besides freaking goat? we can negotiate.
nevermind. God is waaaaaaaaaaaay to jealous for that.
We’re supposed to eat the goats?? Mother fucker!!
Why didn’t anybody tell me that before? Damn it! My finger is so wet it’s puckered… I forgot my strap-on today.
YOU DARE TO MOCK GOD?!
THAT’S IT NUN!! I SMITE YOU!!
YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A BAG OF MY DELICIOUS GOD-WEED AGAIN!!
Oh crap. I forgot that whole God is omniscient and omnipresent thing. Sorry Cousin.
God,
I hate to remind You of this but You already confiscated my sweet chiba for being paranoid. You had not returned it to me so I haven’t been smoking Your Divine Chiba.
Please don’t be jealous, God. You’re my Number One Deity but Zeus is pretty fantastic in bed.
And the mocking is best read when somebody has more than a passing knowledge of Ice Age 2… think Scrat in that vulture’s nest. Peep. If looked at in the vein it was intended, my ‘mock’ is quite cute and endearing.
FYI - I totally allowed Anal Curtis. It was Ancient Greece for Christ’s sake.
And Cracka, goat’s are great - there is goat soup, goat sandwhiches, goat salad, goat kabob, BBQ goat, goat gumbo…
nun’s vagina sprays like a blue whale’s blow hole. it can’t hold its breath that long though. plus, it kind of drools a lot.
Stop making shit up, Cracka. My pussy doesn’t drool at all when it’s roofied to the gills. Ask Zeus, he’ll tell you how wet my vajayjay gets.
I don’t know what bothers me more, the possiblity that US leaders would be so incompetent and blatantly stupid as to ignore all the warning signs that something larger was going to happen like the aforementioned behavior of the hijackers, the memo that went into Bush’s hands and said said “Bin Laden to use planes to fly into bulidings,” the embassy bombings, and the first World Trade Center bombing OR that a small cadre of American and foreign elitists (like Cheney and those is the Carlyle Group including the Bin Ladens) would sit idley by while they let this happen so that they could reap huge profits through the oil markets and government contracts.
This of course is not to mention the utter stupidity of former Mayor Gulianni, who after the first World Trade Center bombing moved the New York terrorist emergency response unit into the World Trade Center. F*ckin’ brilliant!
It’s is sweetly and perfectly oiled like well cared for hot rod. Although on Roofies it gets a bit dry and sand papery.
Gulianni also denied funding (if I remember correctly) so firefighters and police could talk to each other on their radios. This funding may have been in response to the ealier Trade Center bombing.
More reasons for the conspiracy theories, Zeus but be careful. You’re getting dangerously close to the point where people who believe the “official” story will start calling you names.
Zues, just don’t start claiming a drone flew into the Pentagon, or maybe a cruise missile, you’ll be fine.
really Nun? I know I had given your weed back. That’s why taking it away today would hurt. Oh well. THEN NOW YOU SHALL HAVE IT BACK! AND IT WILL DESTROY YOU!!
HAHAHA! REVERSE SMITE!
wow. a REVERSE smite. i’ve heard of them, but i never thought i’d witness one. it’s so beautiful.
The possiblity that it got ignored by higher ups is palusible because of the sheer number of people in the government that made reports about activity and said that it went ignored. The Administration put a lot of blame on the Clinton Administration (not to say that there wasn’t some blame) and the failure of the FBI, CIA, and NSA to communicate - that they had a “competititve culture” when working rather than cooperative relationship that is ncessary to fight the kind of threat that derives from abroad and works within the US. This was one of the justifications for the creation of the Terrorist Joint Task Force, the Dept of Homeland Security, and the expansion of CIA power into US jurisdiction. Also overlooked is the Saudi Royal family funneling of money to the terrorists through Riggs Bank (one of the reason for the banks closure -s omething I was involved in) and the CIAs funding of the Mujahideen through the same bank.
‘CIAs funding of the Mujahideen ‘ Don’t they call that blowback? Or does that term (getting bit by your actions?) apply to something else?
that’s what they call it, yoyo.
I’ve seen the supposed missle and drone video. I think it next to ridiculous. If this were plausible then we get into all sorts of murky water about bodies ther and not there and so forth. It get’s to preposterous and border’s on an episode of 24. However, I still find the argument intriguing. To say the least someone had to put the well-research theory out there so that it could be resonably debunked. Oh and the reason the Valujet crash had little visible wreckage is becuase it landed in a swamp. Large portions of the engine and fuselage were recovered later as were engines at the Pentagon.
That is almost the perfect example of Blowback as was the take over of Afghanistan by the Taliban (formerly backed by the CIA to fight the Soviets).
zeus is really going off about shit that has nothing to do with eating virgins or fucking goats. weird.
God,
That may very well be but You never let me know that You gave it back. I try to be obedient to You, God so I will not do something that You have told me I could not do. Then You go and reverse smite me for my obedience and honor to You. It’s okay though, God. I still love You in all Your Divine Jealous Glory.
Let’s hope 9/11 (or worse things) never happen again.
I’m a pessimist. My home is solar powered, partly solar heated, and is in the woods. I have a friends who is a blacksmith (he gives lessons and exhibitions, too), another who is into high powered weapons. A couple near me raise horse and oxen. We’ve a few chickens and a pig.
Someday, the balloon will go up, and I’m going to retire to Yosylvania with my friends and family.
Cracka, I’m a mile wide and 10 inches deep. Goats are just something I consume…that and virgin poontang.
Well, Yo Yo, if God forbid he does lay down that final smiting and the shit goes down I’m paying a visit, that is if I make it out of DC. My survivial skills consist of the ability to make fire and fish…and manifest as Duchovny, of course that might actually not be so much a survival skill as a libility.
Yo Yo said: “Let’s hope 9/11 (or worse things) never happen again.”
If you’re really a pessimist, Yo then you know that particular hope is wasted. Humanity is flawed because of God’s bender when He was creating us.
It’s a liability, Zeus. That guy is an ass.
Fake Zeus, I’m old. I knew Zeus. And you sir, are no Zeus.
Wow, your hatred for Duchovny had grown. Did he try to steal your Chiba?
That’s true, Nun. I wonder if God is still trying, on some other planet, somewhere. We’re just a flawed experiment, about to detroy ourselves, sigh.
Got any chiba? And we’ll set up a greenhouse in Yoslyvania, so you’ll be well supplied.
It’s not hatred. It’s reality. I’ve always felt that way about him which is why you were requested to not manifest his personality but only his body.
Zeus, we can use your skills! I dunno how you’ll get out of DC, though.
AP, shut up. Comin’ in here all green and throwin’ around accusations. I will throw a lightning bolt up your flappy rectum.
I don’t know, Yo… only if you promise to not call me names when we disagree. Nun will lose all her mystique if she spends all her time crying because Yo Yo was mean to her.
Sorry, Nun ;(
Group hug! Group hug! (cracka getcha hand off my ass)
The Psycho guy keeps doing the quote about Jack Kennedy. It is a pretty good quote.
What qoute is that?
I knew Jack Kennedy and you sir, are NO Jack Kennedy…. I might have the quote a little wrong… it might be Senator Kennedy.
Is it wrong to grab a guy’s junk during a group hug?
P.S. Thanks, Yo. I know my views are a little out there but I’m really not certifiable to the point of being committed.
Not if you are doing the grabbing!
cracka’s hands a kind of rough.
Just make sure he doesn’t slip you a roofie. I think Cracka gets off on the unconscious.
Ah, I get it. Yep, that was Sen. Ted Kennedy. It is a good qoute.
I hope it’s not wrong to grab a guy’s junk during a group hug, because I’m TOTALLY going after Cracka.
Sorry I wigged out earlier, Nun. Someone stiffed me on data they’ve owed me for a week, now I have to come into work Sunday to complete my *&!@ reports.
As cracka would say, Fvck, shit, fvck.
If he gets off on the unconcious thing I wonder if he swings a little more wildy - necorphilia? Cracka, you don’t work at a funeral home do you? You Puerto Rican sicko!
I’m good firends tiwht the architects that did the Pentagon Memorial. It’s pretty funkin’ awesome to put it mildly.
No worries, Yo. I’ve heard much, much worse.
Curtis, we’re putting you in the middle of the group grope, I mean group hug.
I think, Yo Yo, you have just made Curtis’s week.
Doesn’t cracka work at a mental hospital or something? Is he pumping up people on drugs and screwing them while they’re comatose? Sick bastard!
Zeus,
You seem to know a lot of people. Fuck Josh. Do you know any of the following:
Dave Chappelle
Jon Stewart
Gillian Anderson
Ewan McGregor
Gary Sandy
????
I want to meet them all!!
I would totally do a train with Curtis!!
Cracka probably fucks all the mental patients. No wonder he prefers drugged partners.
199-zeus: “flappy rectum” well played, sir!
the dead bodies are cold and floppy. couldn’t get into it. not that i didn’t repeatedly try again and again. “what’s wrong with me? why can’t i enjoy defiling this corpse?!” i got over it. i moved on to date rape.
Nope Nun, can only take there form. I met Dave Chappelle once. Most of the famous people I know are politicians, a smattering of journalist, and one jailed lobbyist, Jack Abramhoff. He has the best name, ever.
Zeus, dang.
I’ve only been to Washington DC once. I arrived on Saturday and spent two days walking around doing the tourist thing. Didn’t go out after dark, the hotel staff (seeing I was a rube) warned me it might be a bad idea, and in particular pointed out places I should avoid.
Jeez, Cracka, don’t you know you gotts stick them in the microwave for 1 hour on defrost to get them warmed up and use a little KY.
Don’t know when you were here but it’s a much safer city now. It, like any city, depends upon where you are, but the “bad” pockets are fewer and very isolated. Should have seen the actual city a little. Most people don’t realize there is more than just the Mall and Capital. What is a rube?
Oh, nice one. Rube=Hick, I’ll have to use that.
Hi Zeus. I was there waaay back in the mid-’90s. Can’t remember where I stayed, but it was an easy walk to the Capitol, and there was some park with a French name (Lafayette? l’Enfant?) nearby.
I spent most of one day in the National Air & Space Museum - what a great place! I had to go to Ohio once, spent a day at the Wright-Patterson Museum!
A rube is an unsophisticated country person, a jay, a hick.
It sounds like people here know people. Maybe we should try and pool together our resources and get this God of ours some more exposure.
shut up, douche-noob. God doesn’t need our help. He’s fucking GOD!
pretty sure God gets a pretty good share of the publicity pie.
shut up, neb.
besides psycho, I don’t want a bunch more fucking new assholes like you around here spoiling our good time. this place is ours.
shut up, ben.
i mean it this time.
you don’t own the series of tubes.
The..the Internet. It’s a series of tubes!
It’s, it’s not a truck…
Tubes!
THIS PLACE IS MINE!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cZC67wXUTs
cute!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kradKo2rrlY
where did everybody go?
i scared everyone away…
Nah… we’re just watching you talk to yourself.
sshhh, ben is talking to himself.
I’m waiting for him to play with himself. If he doesn’t know we’re here, he’ll do it.
wheee!! i finally got them all to leave!! now it’s just you and me God!! wheee!!! oops, the cadberry cream came outta my dingy again.
It’s like an episode of animal planet. “Quietly watching the wooly Ben, in relative isolation he begins his self mating.”
“A skittish creature, Ben lives a solitary existence. He comes out of his den to perform his self-mating ritual which we here at Animal Planet find completely fascinating. His preoccupation with his own cadberry cream is one that cannot be found elsewhere in nature. It is for this reason that we believe the Ben to be bordering on the brink of extinction.”
Yo Yo,
Yeah DC was pretty crap-tastic in the mid-90’s I would have told you to stay in the hotel at night even if you weren’t a Rube. I remmber driving down now what is a street of art studios and high-end loft apartments and it was all drug dealers adn prostitutes then. It was just after that crackhead Marion Barry was mayor. But Federal oversight of the city, followed by 12 years of intellegent leadership by Mayor Williams, the real estate boom, and now Mayor Fenty have made it a safe and world class city. If you come out again you have to go to the Air & Space’s new wing at Dulles Airport the Udvar Hazie Center. They have a Space Shuttle and an SR-71. Now capital hill is all million dollar homes, nice restaurants, farmer’s markets, clubs, and bars. We still have Marion Barry as a council member but the prostitutes and drug dealers are only in the halls of Congress now.
“Watch carefully as the Ben supplements his diet with his own cadburry cream. Fascinating.”
Crickey!
I mean, Crikey!
“We here at Animal Planet have had to cease filming the Ben and his self-mating ritual. Quite frankly, we’re disgusted by the noises this little animal makes when he engages in this journey of self-discovery.”
eeep! ach! ooof! frafer perly yom kom drabby sham!
hey! you guys got me to laugh out loud! if only there was a way to abbreviate that.
You forgot to drool, Ben. Disgusting sounds must always be followed by drooling.
erraggggglllleeee……..hmmmm…….open-faced club sand wedge…..
huh, are playing golf or tiddling your wink?
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph — Nun, Zeus. That was so quick witted! I wish I was comical.
that’s true, just listen to the awful sounds nun’s stretched out penis eater makes. always followed by drool…
Sorry, Cracka. You’re not quick and witty like Zeus and I.
LOL….nice one cracka. shutting up.
looks like they left again…..
…
….
sllluuuuurrrpp!
Eww! Uh, how d’you stretch your neck that far?
Farkin’ell, (fucking hell) being an American is so cool!
While I’m peacefully sleeping with Latex Lucy, you World Rulers are having group gropes and showing the rest of us just what it means to be a citizen in a country where you have every reason to believe that your government is out to get you. BRILLIANT!
In Noo Zillund our best conspiracy for years is currently playing out over whether one of our politicians deliberately failed to declare $100,000 (yes, you read it right, one hundred thousand dollars, that’s about US$67,000) of donations. If he’s found guilty (which he clearly is) it could bring down a government that has ruled for 9 years. It’s small-town PATHETIC.
Oh to be an American and have really genuine reasons to fear, hate and loathe my leaders–to know in my heart they harbor homicidal intentions towards me. How cool to belong to a country that can fritter half-a-trillion dollars away on a stupid war based on lies. A country where millions of my fellow citizens know for certain that the moment the black guy is elected, someone will shoot him and they’ll all celebrate. (And I haven’t even mentioned the Alaskan skank)
No wonder people want to come to the home of the… (is it ‘free’ or ‘brave’? I keep forgetting).
Thank you for Americans, GOD. Without them the world would be so safe and BORING!!!!
well, let’s not get carried away their, smoggy. this is the part where the rednecks would remind you that america pretty much won world war II for you, so you’re welcome. also, the world would not be a helluva lot safer if you eliminated america. there’s plenty of crazy violent fuckers in the world to keep you and your marsupial pouch inhabitant entertained. now, fuck off.
yeah haha, fuck off kiwi!
…
i love you cracka
nun, is it really QUICK when you read a post and then think about it and then type your own reply? quick? no. witty? yes. i gave you credit for the animal planet narration. hell, i even came close to dropping an LOL. now, fuck off.
shut up, ben.
now, fuck off.
Hey Cracka, Americans didn’t win World War 2 for me! Apart from the fact that it was a stupid European war that we shouldn’t have been in anyway, if Tojo hadn’t ass-fucked you at Pearl Harbor you’d still be in isolation. You did it for your own interests, and way too late to save my uncle, a tailgunner in a bomber shot down over France, who went off to war before america even knew it was on.
In fact, per head of population New Zealand lost more soldiers in WW1 and WW2 than just about any other country. Just as, per head of population, we won three times as many medals this Olympics as the US of A did.
now ben is a faggot
well looky who strolled in, if it ain’t Josh. trying to get the heat off your ass, eh? you know what’s funny josh, how you do standup and can’t take a joke, ya faggot. got teased too much as a kid, right?
okay, smoggy. that’s nice. too bad NOBODY GIVES A SHIT! it was the rednecks speaking…or is it too much of a bother for you to read the entire sentence? are words upside down down there too? now, fuck off.
per head? let’s see here, there’s 8 of us. we got one plane shot down…that’s makes, um, 1/8 of our population dead. be sure to brag about that in awkward conversations later as people try to think of excuses to walk away from me because i’m suffering from some militant form of blind nationalism. now, fuck off.
josh you’re gayer than jesus
cracka–I never read whole sentences. I just filter out the bits that fit my argument and prejudices. Look what I got out of your last rant:
“smoggy. that’s nice … NOBODY … is … too much of a bother for you … i’m suffering from some militant form of blind nationalism”
Smoggy,
We like our wars in America. It keeps us entertained and patriotic. We are a country founded by war and will probally end the same way. We spend more on “defence” [note: Kiwi spelling] than the UK, China, France, Japan, Germany, Russia, Saudia Arabia, Italy, and India combined -all the leading countires in defence spending behind the US. Now we are not going to spend all that money and not go to war. Jeez! When have we not been at war?
will the gentlemen who constantly bicker about who’s gayer than whom just finally suck each other’s dicks already? i mean, we’ll hate you both the same either way, so don’t worry about us. we’ve already seen ben do some disgusting self mating.
zeus, i thought you were greek.
smoggy-that one made me chuckle.
Cracka said: “nun, is it really QUICK when you read a post and then think about it and then type your own reply?”
I don’t know. Ask Curtis who praised Zeus and I as being quick and witty.
Now fuck off.
I know McCain loves war Zoose.
And I was only half-joking in my first post. American politics is fascinating (and scary)–the world stops watching it at their peril. In the big picture it’s still more relevant to the future of my kids than anything my own leaders can do.
i’m not the messiah….now……..fuck off!!
well, i say you are and i oughtta know, i’ve followed a few.
cracka –is that the first chuckle i’ve given you?
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.l\____…………..l………..l
.l_____>………..l………..l
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^ plane………….l………..l
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9/11
=O
oh, gross. smoggy has kids.
you’re right nun. curtis, is it really QUICK when you read a post and then think about it and then type your own reply?
ok that looks sooo gay
looked gooder in chat box
Actually, kids is probably zoologically inaccurate–lambs would be more precise.
fuck, now he’s trying to hand out “chuckles”, whatever the hell they are. do your kids sleep in your marsupial pouch? damnit! nun’s boyfriend is back!
Sometimes I get the feeling that some of the posters here take too seriously some of the other posters here.
there’s too much happening right now. and i’m waaaaaaaay to hungover for this. in fact, i don’t really know how i got here today.
marsupials are AUSTRALIAN… it’s a different fucking country…and Australian kids sleep up their parents asses
I would keep Random Guy around. He’s good for a few laughs if nothing else.
Cracka, it’s called dual-citizenship.
Random, “gooder”? You should learn grammer gooder.
If you people take me seriously I’m leaving
…actually, I am leaving…
Nun’s right smoggy, my reponse was subtley sarcastic. Now go climb inside a marsupial.
Damn…that old ’subtle sarcasm’…gets me every time…
what time is it there, smiggles?
random, valiant visaul effort though.
Smoggy, I’m trying your method of filtering messages.
Let’s look at Nun’s # 275:
Curtis …praised Zeus … as being quick …fuck.
Or Smoggy’s own post # 287:
marsupials are…fucking…Australian kids…asses.
Thank you, Smoggy, for this new toy.
Jesus fucking Christ!! I believe in conspiracy theories and aliens. Now leave all the dick-sucking homos/New Zealanders alone and tell me how stupid, nutty, crazy I am.
Smoggy, don’t leave. If we guy yeh, it’s becuz we love yeh.
ummm… 9.12 am, 12th day of spring buttcracka…
coffee time
we do appreciate your enthusiasm, random. we may choose to hate you a little less someday. or, at least, when we do kill you we might just let you drown in one of nun’s vagina cum mucous snotballs. it’s kind of weird the first time you hear that muffled sneeze from inside her pants. you get used to it, though.
Nun, you beleive in aliens too?! Next thing you’re going to tell us is that the moon landing was actually filmed in a studio in Hollywood.
Hey Nun–I got a really good filter out of you
“I believe in … dick-sucking … New Zealanders alone”
cracka said: “…fuck, now he’s trying to hand out “chuckles”, whatever the hell they are.”
Chuckles are a disgusting candy, best left alone. I used to pack up food for an adventure/camping outfit. After the end of a week of dried food, the happy campers would have boiled their bootlaces for the flavor. The Chuckles always came back.
Cracka’s lying about my vajayjay again. Cracka has only seen my snatch after he’s roofied me. Zeus is right that roofies turn my vagina into the barren Sahara desert.
Smoggy, it’s 5:19 Pip Emma, late summer early Fall. In a few minutes I will return to the upright postion, fire up the Rust Bucket, and head for a chain fast-food Scottish restaurant called McDonald’s (or would it be Irish? Mc vs. Mac…)
Zeus said: “Next thing you’re going to tell us is that the moon landing was actually filmed in a studio in Hollywood.”
I’ve actually given the theory some consideration. I see both sides of the debate. I’ll consider all aspects of almost any situation. Why the fuck do you think I’m an X-Files fan?
Yep, you need Nun awake and kickin’ for the chubb rub down the water slip & slide. Ruffies- imagine running and jumping onto a dry slip and slide made with 15-grit sandpaper.
Smoggy said: ““I believe in … dick-sucking … New Zealanders alone””
Smoggy, you may be using a filter but really, you heard what my mind was telling you. You cutie, you.
Yeah, what Zeus said. I’m a charming and exciting partner when I’m awake. Plus I know how to use what God gave me.
I’m with God on this one. He definitely did the 9/11 thing. Pin the tail on the donkey.
But you want a conspiracy, I’ll give you one. Some secret cabal got together and designed Washington, DC so that you simply cannot get from Point A to Point B, even using bloodhounds to sniff out your destination.
Your argument would hold water if you weren’t high, Anne.
If this place was a bar, you wouldn’t be able to hear the baseball game on the t.v.
anne johnson said: God…did the …donkey.
pass the goldfish.
I SAID, PASS THE GOLDFISH!!
Yes, Nun, I am high. But sadly, I got the wonderful meds legally because I FUCKIN NEED THEM. Otherwise I’d have been here talking dirty all day.
Gosh Nun…that filter really works!
I can’t travel at the moment…but my dick could use a good sucking. Shall I mail it?
I’m open-minded about a lot of conspiracies, but that is not one of them. I do beleive in aliens though, perhaps not the little green men that visit this planet like Cracka (sorry he’s actually an illegal alien) but that life exists on other planets. Theortically since out planet is in a young galaxy it may be possible that an older an more advance civilization my have mastered some form of interstellar travel. Can you tell how much I hate X-files?
Did someone say donkey?
“out planet” - our planet
Are you interested in a Donkey Punch Johnson?
Zeus. Seriously. I am doped to the gills. You’re gonna make me paranoid and ruin my legal high.
Ben, I can take a joke, I called you gay because you said you loved cracka. Lighten up dude. the only gay person here is Curtis and maybe Lucy.
Now shut up Neb/Ben.
Josh … no offence mate …but you seem a bit behind the 8-ball.
Oh! Goldfish! You can have them. I’m not hungry. Another week of this and I’ll be on conservative talk radio.
Your penis is detachable, Smoggy?
Zeus,
You hate The X-Files??
I like Josh. I don’t care if he doesn’t think I’m funny.
Only one of my penises is detachable Nun.
“Only one of my penises is detachable Nun.”
WTF?? Smoggy, are you an alien???
Dude!! Smoggy, I want to breed funny-looking marsupial, double-penised babies with you.
Not an alien Yo Mama …just call me gifted
Smoggy, can you bend them in different directions? So instead of coming you went?
I can certainly multi-task, Yo Mama.
And if you don’t believe me look at my god-given avatar. If I tip my head to one side my right eye looks like a butt-hole and my left eye like a slit.
And before anyone makes off-color jokes, the fangs are for sucking the vital fluids out of anyone who calls me cunt-face.
cunt face … hope I’m the first.
HAHAHA!! Smoggy is a CUNT-FACE!! HAHAHA!!
Johnson said “Some secret cabal got together and designed Washington, DC so that you simply cannot get from Point A to Point B, even using bloodhounds to sniff out your destination.”
Its simple, espcially on pain killers: the city is a square (like Yo Yo’s head) except rotated on a North South axis. It is divided into four quadrants, NW, SW, NE, SE. The Capital is at the center of the city and the quadrants are divide by Noth Capital, South Capital, and East Capital Streets, and the National Mall. North south streets are numbered and increase as you move further away from a quadrant division the numbers increase. East Wets Streets are letters and start at A at the southern most point of the city and go all the way through Z before miscilaneous named streets begin. State named streets run on diaganals and transverse the city. addresses correspond with street numbers and letters. So 1919 M St, NW is in the NW quadrant between 19th and 20th Streets. 205 1st st, NE is in the NE quadrant between B & C streets. Some exceptions occur where development occurred between the exisiting L’Enfant grid so streets were named randomly. There is no lettered J street because L’Enfant didn’t like Jon Jay. Streets alternate between one way in any direction and ocassionaly go two ways. Now isn’t that easy.
Ouch Goddess Annie …one of your staples is stuck in my teeth!
I love the X-files. That too was sarcasm. Go ahead quiz me.
can we start a commune in new zealand? will anyone care if a group of paranoid, slutty, stoned americans just kind of shows up and sets up camp? we thought about costa rica, but, jesus homo christ…so many “ethnics”.
“HAHAHA!! Smoggy is a CUNT-FACE!! HAHAHA!!”
Hmmm … this could be a busy day. Better gargle… Where are my dentures…
i’ve seen every episode of the x-files between 2 and 5 times. i love scully. she’s a genius. a pretty, scientific genius doctor cop with handcuffs on her at all times.
Cracka, Noo Zillun is a commune really — and terribly inbred. The paranoid, slutty and stoned fit right in. Indeed a lot of paranoid Americans did move here during the Y2K scare. They brought little valleys in the bush and set up survivalist encampments.
Except for Shania Twain–she bought half the fucking South Island–tuneless bitch!
Zeus could have fucked three virgins in the time it took him to describe how Washington, DC is supposed to work.
That sounds like you, but replace doctor cop with sexy minx.
And Der Dude has left us and took his commune with him. What a fuckhead.
Zeus,
What was the name of Scully’s dog?
I actually did fuck three virgins while I was typing that. I multi-task.
I think someone set up a survivalist encampment in my bush once.
And you’re still blowing the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Zoose.
CUNT-FACE!!! holy shit….i nominate that for best new word of the year…
Cracka,
You an XF fan too? Say it isn’t so. I’ve seen every single damned episode too many times to count.
Kweekweg of som crazy thing like that. Give me challenging one.
Smoggy, give me that staple back. You can have all of them next Tuesday.
Zoos,
I’m at work and these bastards are making me work so i can’t check this blog every two seconds.
Speaking of, Smoggy, aren’t you off of work? are you sitting at home in your Spiderman PJ’s hanging on cracka’s every word?
I love you Nun, and I think you’re smart and funny. If only you had a fire crotch, you could be scully part two.
“Kweekweg of som crazy thing like that. Give me challenging one.”
Que?
“That sounds like you, but replace doctor cop with sexy minx.”
Crap Cracka said that! I thought it was Nun! How dare you trick me! I am going to go jump in the shower now and cry (like in the Crying Game - that I haven’t seen).
Smoogy,
Nun asked me the name of Scully’s dog.
If Rush Limbaugh is reading this, HA HA HA HA! I’ve got legals, mofo!
Gotta give a nod to Zeus. It was his spawn, Morphius, who gave us the top-grade painkillers.
Okay…okay… just testing. By the way, you called Cracka a sexy minx. Homo.
Hmmm… who killed Melissa Scully?
God just gives us prayer. Prayer sucks for killing pain.
When I see snakes, it’s time to lie down.
JJJJoooshhhh
shouulllddd I sllloooowww ddoowwwnn fforrrrr youuuuu????
Kisses, Josh. Except I’m a believer so I’d be some kind of weird combo of Mulder and Scully. I’d be a Sculder.
Don’t worry, Anne. It’s just Zeus trying to take advantage of you.
Here’s your staple Goddess Annie–you sure are a tasty minx. But your drug-saturated blood is making me feel all floaty.
I’ve never hung off cracka’s every word Josh–I stick around hoping to hear from you…and Curtis…and Lucifer…and the grumpy Jew…and Jesus…and all those other fuckers who don’t comment when I’m awake.
I know you all hate me.
I know you’re prejudiced against people from small countries with one frigate, no air force, and a coastline bigger than the continental USA.
Well fuck you all…
Bastards….
(now I do gotta go)
She was accidentally shot by those two guys that worked for the Syndicate. They meant to shoot Scully. Bam outta the ball park. Keep em coming.
Johsnson, I rarely take the form of s snake. Better take the opportunity while you can and yes, morphine is one of my better creations.
Smoggy, there’s no Kiwi Ari Force. You’re joshing us?
A Sculder??? Oooh Scully with a large penis. Gross thought.
Zeus, there’s helicopters, some long range transport planes and search aircraft etc, but the fighter squadron was mothballed a few years ago–so no air combat power whatsoever.
Militarily speaking, we’re just bent over down here in the South Pacific waiting for some huge aggressive schlong to bury itself between our virgin butt cheeks.
Did I say I gotta go…
Smoggy. You Liar there is a Kiwi Air force, it just can’t fly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txU6YWRrTEs
And you have more than one ship: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UvW1R50N0c
Well, as long as they don’t discover large oil reserves in NZ you have nothing to worry about.
The News is all bad then Zeus. Some believe that there’s billion of barrels of oil off our coast in the Great South Basin. In fact the big companies are exploring there right now. Read this and see how fucked we are:
http://www.thebriefingroom.com/archives/2007/06/the_great_south.html
Sweet, I’m calling my pal Cheney. Lookout Kiwis you’re goin’ the way of the Dodo. The whole county’s gonna look like Kabul after were done with it.
Zeus,
That was a rather half-hearted answer. First, one of those dudes is Krycek… how many X-Files fans don’t know who Krycek is? The other guy is Luis Cardinal.
Here’s one that, despite the evidence, continues to throw X-Files fans for a loop… who is the father of William?
God,
You do like Soundtracks!! You had more than two selections under God Radio earlier… where’d they go??
Crap I’m terrible with names. I thought it was Mulder?
yes, nun, to answer your earlier question, i am a huge x files fan. my favorite show ever. for our anniversary i took my wife to dinner and a movie…that’s right, the x files. you know what’s awesome about that? she was thrilled. best anniversary ever. my wife is a nerd, an exceptionally beautiful nerd, but a nerd nonetheless.
Zeus has wine…………………too much wine……….where’s the goat? rassle me up some virgins…….
Why all the talk about the ‘X Files’?
Smoggy,
Good luck with that oil boom. Just remember that the US oil guys think of anyplace they’re exploiting as “ours”. You can have some fun if you just bend over and say aaaah. Otherwise we kick your ass and take over everything.
Crooked,
Global conspiracy/coverup … hot secret agent chick … ambiguously gay sidekick … what’s not to like?
Anne, enough of your praising of the far inferior Zeus, the bastard in which God will smite very fucking soon, hopefully.
Zeus,
You are correct, sir. The father of William is indeed Mulder.
Cracka,
Did you like the X-Files movie?
X-Files = intelligent and entertaining… come on, Halo… you already know that.
Nun, my aren’t you a sly little fox.
it was all right. it seemed like they didn’t settle easily into that old mulder/scully dynamic. but, it’s been a while, so that’s understandable. it was like a longer version of an x files monster of the week episode. which is fine with me. i’d like a movie that completely resolves the mythology, though.
Between you and I, Halo, between you and I.
Cracka,
I prefer the monster of the weeks so I was happy. I was never a big shipper so there were aspects of the movie that I didn’t like as much as others.
Uppity, wait for XF3!
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