Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!
Today I would like to talk about something I really detest – the continent of Africa.
Africa is a stupid, worthless continent and I regret ever creating it.
You must understand that, back when I, The Almighty Lord your God, Awesome and Perfect Creator of the Universe, first created the planet Earth, I was a much younger and inexperienced deity. Back then, My design aesthetic was more than a little amateurish.
As a result, we have the hideous land mass that is Africa. Just nothing but sand and desert all across the top, and disgusting jungles and stuff in the bottom part. And oh look! Lots of rivers and ugly mountains just tacked on all over the place. I just can’t stand even looking at this waste of space anymore.
I mean, seriously - why the hell did I make it so stupid big? It’s huge! I think I knew that Africa was ugly, so I thought I could make up for it, overcompensate you might say, by making it so ludicrously large. I should have just destroyed the whole thing and started over, but by then I had already spent like almost an entire day on it, and I had a 7-day schedule to keep. I wasn’t about to give up My day off.
But beyond hating how it looks, I also really, really, really hate all the people who live in Africa. They are immoral, animalistic heathens who refuse to acknowledge My Divine Power (although they have been given every opportunity to do so.) And so I like to keep them oppressed, poor and AIDS-infected.
I also enjoy watching them starve.
freebiesss on 
TheEvilOverlord on 
God on 
Craig on 
samanta on 
ShunRenHu on 
Dude, I thought you were infalliable!
That means, even when young, you could do no wrong!
1. God is infalliable.
2. You, God, just admitted you had made a mistake
3. Puff! you be gone!
QED
I suppose that now, you HAVE GOT TO dissapear in a puff of logic!!! ;0)
Let’s get this straight “dude.” I never - ever - claimed to be infallible, ok? Well, at least never seriously.
I may have, however, made several boasts to that effect to Moses back in the day, and he went ahead and told everybody that it was a fact.
The thing you gotta understand about Moses is, he had no sense of humor. Still doesn’t. Still thinks I was serious about that whole ‘ten commandments’ prank.
ARGH! I HATE PEOPLE EXPECTING ME TO BE SO FRIGGING FLAWLESS ALL THE TIME! YOU TRY AND DEAL WITH THAT KIND OF PRESSURE!
I can make mistakes! As many as I damn well please! And there is nothing you, or anyone else, can do about it!
Hey look at it this way God….if there was no Africa…what the hell would Bono and Bill Gates do with their time? They would be bored, thats what…don’t get so down on yourself, at the very least they can continue to shove their millions of dollars into it and hope something happens..oooo but then again there was that whole apartheid thing….
This is amusing. I think I will subscribe.
‘DUDE’??? ‘DUDE’!
Excuse me, is this a way to address a lady? Stand up straigh!
And one that went down in history as the most argumentative, the most difficult-to-get-along-with bitch in history? Even Shakespeare evoked my name in fear!
And you call me a ‘DUDE’????
At least have the decency to call me a ‘duedette’!
Shees, these modern deities….no manners. At least, when I was young, Zeus knew how to treat a girl!
Oh goddess.
I think this “god” may go to hell for this.
Hey God, I thought Africa was one of your turds that you dropped in the toilet that is the world’s oceans? No? Anyways, can you hurry up with the AIDS and starvation and completely rid us of this shithole continent? Thanks.
I always thought Africa was a great place to hide things in and oppress people.
Blog now saved under favorites. Thank you for saying what you need to say, god.
God, you’re such a poser.
Well God, what can I say.
We all make mistakes so I guess you can be forgiven, cause it ain’t the first time you screwed up.
The Nazi’s and Stalin were a real peace of work as well. Just don’t get any stupid ideas and decide to start over from scratch. There are a few things you put together that makes it all worthwhile.
Sincerely Yours.
The little guy
Who would have thunk that God is funny!
Hey God–please don’t ever let anyone tell YOU what to call them. Dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They must not realize who you are! Oh and true that Fadi.
dear god
you suck
and when you get done changing out of that dress every night
you weep for the things you have to do to pay for your pathetic little life
light yourself on fire
sincerely,
no really, right now, I got money on the gas.
Things God also hates: lack of punctuation.
…don’t tell black people this.
You are a dumb fuck and your website is a piece of shit.
having no relation to the J above… he is wrong, and your site kicks Holy ass!
Dear God I am aiming at your domain with Nuclear Warheads. Soon all your heavenly bases are belong to us. I have decided to replace you with Barack Obama.
http://aniggaincyberspace.com/2008/04/11/black-nerd-revolution/
P.S. who’s older you or John Mccain?
If there was no Africa, where would Angelina Jolie have her next baby?
God loves Africa
Suck a BIG African dick, God.
Dear God,
I’ve read all your posts and this one was the worst of the bunch. The rest actually had points, were smart, funny, and pointed out the ridiculous nature of humanity and religion, this one just went no where.
If you hated Africa so much why did you put so many natural resources there? If it was not for another creation of yours, the European, Africa would be in tip top shape. Are you saying you made Europeans to detroy and plunder Africa?
Your Humble Servent,
Josh
- Josh
I’ve read all of God’s posts too, and I disagree. I actually like this one the best. I thought it was (horrifyingly) funny.
I think the writer is saying that if there was a God, than why does he let so many terrible things happen to Africa? Why does he let people starve? Why doesn’t he just rain down manna from heaven? Why does he let people suffer so much?
I think this one points out how ridiculous the notion is that there is some kind of loving God watching over us.
It says that if there is a God, he is most assuredly evil.
Dude, so what you’re really hate is plate tectonics since that’s what created the continent. Shoulda rethought that whole floating world idea.
White Supremacy
[...] Specifically, this post about Africa. [...]
I am African and I think Africa was a huge mistake. Nice one God.
wow, God, that is pretty harsh. you should be easier on yourself, man.
God has gender issues. Why won’t he admit she’s a woman?
[...] Note: I also don’t like how American Idol raises money to help Africa. [...]
This blog is the reason I’m an atheist.
If God hates Africa so much why did human life originate there? You do realize most of the problems in Africa are direct results of other countries taking over, fucking shit up and leaving with new borders drawn that lump rival group into the same countries right?
God is gay.
[...] animal*, and heathen-commie-bastard living there. However, I don’t hate the topography. Unlike Africa - which I am deeply, deeply ashamed of – I’m actually kind of satisfied with the land and [...]
Africa is anything but ugly. Have you ever been to Africa? Don’t say, I’ve been there because I’m God and all, because I think you are a pent up bastard, afraid to leave your room, afraid to leave your keyboard, afraid to confront your fears….you may get a whole lot of hits and comments and bullshit like that, but rest assured that it isn’t because of your talent. I hope you get hard and get your rocks off or whatever, because it is costing you something beyond all the hocus pocus metaphors about hell and all that, it is costing you the real beauty that the world has to offer. You are a poor writer and an opportunist to the n^th degree. You take advantage of irking people in order to see the numbers on your stats go up up up……why don’t you try writing something real to get attention. Why don’t you try going to Africa and confronting your fears and hates? Why don’t you try being desperate, why don’t you try asking for help? You are already depraved, you just don’t know enough yet to know that you are desperate, and you do need help. I’m with the others who have been saying that they normally would leave well enough alone, and so I’m torn about submitting this comment and making your ignorant list of stuff God hates, but you know, I think I want to be hated by you, feared by you, misunderstood by you, because in the end, you are just another piece of shit like me, stuck here waiting around to die, and I for one choose to spend my time seeking out the beauty and positive energy in this world in lieu of choosing to spend my time sitting around thinking of reasons to hate this and that and rotting away biting my lip and thumbing my nose at the things I fear. I for one choose to be the anthisis of what you are. If you don’t like it here, if you don’t like the things in this world, well you know what they say…..Delta’s ready when you are, so go take a flying fuck. You are a miserable person, and you deserve your misery, you deserve this blog looming over you like so many nails in your coffin.
I’m personally not going to look at this shit ever again, and I suggest that others boycott it as well, because you are just encouraging some poor stupid bastard to push push push the boundaries of hate until he realizes that the thing he hates is really himself. And then what? My prediction about the outcome of this blog is that it is only going to be his own demise.
I’ll believe what I want, and I don’t believe you are God. Try your voodoo on me, and you will receive it back on yourself three fold……boycott this blog people, this is just a stupid asshole pining for attention.
P.S. I don’t hate you by the way….I feel infinitely sorry for you. Maybe you have been to Africa, but if you went and didn’t see the beauty then you are someone to be pitied. Let’s say you become desperate and need help, what then? What will you do when the hammer falls unbenounst to you and you need to ask someone for help? What will you do then? Will you ask for help? Will you hate yourself all the more? I think that your self-richeous attitude will hide the fact that you are desperate and need help. I think you are the type of person who would take and steal and step on innocent people’s backs before you would ever ask for help.
You are playing with fire my friend, and for what? Blog hits? Attention? Like I said, try writing something worth a shit and see if you get the attention then. Maybe you would find some inner peace instead of fanning the flames inside. Or do you hate art as well? Who cares, you are what is wrong with the world, so go ahead and hate yourself. Like I said, you deserve it.
Here’s Homozeen.
>=(
Here’s the point flying right past him.
<——-
>=(
Oh, and since bloodvarks are such great text artists, this is Homozeen later.
X0======8
[...] And so, when the time came in 2000, I used My Powers to make him King of America. And for a while, everything was hunky-dory. I would tell him what to do, and he’d do it. Thing was, I made him pinky-swear not to tell anybody. And what did that asshole do, just two years later? He betrayed Me (of course!) and told everyone I had told him to invade Babylon! He also began worshiping the pagan god Molech and even sent money and aid-relief to Africa! [...]
[...] they hog all the food that could be going to feed all the starving people of the world not living in Africa. They also murder good-looking thinners in countless other ways. I see it every day. For example, [...]
Hozomeen, you know what’s *actually* wrong with the world? PEOPLE WHO CAN’T TAKE A FUCKING JOKE.
Listen ShitFace God, Let me Fucking holla at cha bitchass for a sec,
Who the Fuck do you think you are saying does awful shitty things about my country. Africa is a beautiful and great place so are Asian people.
I for one don’t find your ass funny one bit. Making fun of things or people or rude comments ain’t half way funny. WHAT’S FUNNY IS PROBABLY YOUR UGLY ASS FACE YOU JACKASS.
You can kiss my big black and beautiful African ass you dickhead.
Don’t fuck with my country or i’ll fuck you up. You hella lucky i don’t know your ass.
Instead of writing rude and awful comments to people because you are a 40 year old man that lives in your mother basement and can’t get a fucking date, why don’t you go back to touching yourself in the bathroom and save everyone else the trouble.
BURN IN HELL YOU WANNA BE
testing…
i am deeply offended by this……..
[...] demon Bill Gates, who fights My Divine Will by giving billions and billions of dollars to the Me-forsaken continent of Africa. He does more than any other one person on Earth to help keep Africans alive. PISSES ME [...]
[...] the animals. They shall not have their own kingdom. In this park, there are areas representing both Africa and Asia. Although I will say the rollercoaster in Asia was decent, the Disney people are clearly [...]
[...] vejam deus falando de porque ele odeia a Africa ou as mulheres. [...]
[...] motivos por los que odia ciertas cosas. Imprescindible leer los motivos por los que odia África: stuffgodhates.com/?p=15 y por los que odia a las mujeres: stuffgodhates.com/?p=32. Lista completa: [...]
Glad you are speaking broken English. Unless Compton has been moved to Africa, then you’re not African. YOU ARE A BLACK AMERICAN. Not African. The slaves that came over on the boats were African. You’re just a dumb bitch who thinks skin makes you a nationality. I’m a White Redhead, that doesn’t automatically make me Irish dumbshit.
[...] means that I hate black people. Far from it! I just hate the ones who associate themselves with Africa. The sheer stupidity of doing so is beyond even My Divine [...]
А как бы мне подписаться на Вашу RSS? Не могу найти ссылку :(. Напишите на 54632два1 в ICQ или masha_golovanova в skype. В крайнем случае - используйте почту. Заранее спасибо всем неравнодушным.
[...] worse, they prevent the spread of HIV! And AIDS! IN AFRICA! This is a clear violation of My Divine [...]
oh my goodness. You shouldn’t act as if you’re GOD. God will punish you for this unless you repent
Not all African people are bad you know. There are some who are successful in life. YOU’RE A RACIST, “god”
It’s the people who made Africa a huge mistake. NOT YOU…
I love it when people get upset at this blog! great stuff!
Hey PB, God made the people though right?
when is anything ever God’s fault???
hey, peanut butter-
if all africans weren’t bad, then why would God hate them so much???
yeah, that’s what i thought.
Actually, he is right. GOD does hate Africa.
When GOD wants to get rid of people, he sends drought, famine, floods, plague, and pestilence.
And then, you freaking morons send money, food, and medicine to keep them alive.
Back “in the day”, they had no prisons in Africa, so they made the CRIMINALS slaves. When there were more than they could handle ( imagine that )……they SOLD THEIR OWN PEOPLE to other countries. I seriously don’t recall any search parties coming to get their homies from any country they were sold to.
I am terribly sorry about the slavery thing, but “I” never owned any. And, we don’t need to compensate anyone for anything, and I’ll tell you why.
1) They have been compensated by our welfare system for years.
2) Had their ancestors not been sold as slaves, they would have remained in Africa. This means more than 1/2 would have never been born, as their ancestors would have died from the aforementioned “natural disasters”. The ones who survived it, would be dieing NOW.
Africa is cursed and if you study the place you will understand WHY.
Now, look at my country. (America) We brought the cream of the crop of criminals over here and this country has gone to hell ever since.
Check the stats on how many are in prison, teen pregnancies, welfare, unemployment, etc, and you will see the results.
Ask yourself why the worlds “oldest” continent is no more than a third world country. The ONLY time Africa was worth a crap is when the white English people ran the joint.
Give it back to the homies, and all you get is crime and corruption. ( See West Africa, morons).
There is a stretch from Egypt across into the middle east where mankind actually originated. Were it not for wars, THEY would be the most advanced CIVILIZATION. Instead, they choose to fight over SAND. Jesus! ( although Dubia is nothing to sneeze at……)
And, no, this isn’t racism, this is FACT. And, the fact is, if we have a problem with THEM, we are racist. If they have a problem with US, we are supposed to be politically correct and tolerant.
Personally, I hope the swine flu mutates there and kills them all off. Then, we can send the ones HERE back to re-populate since they love the “Mother Country” so much.
I think Oprah should finance this adventure and Obama can be their new President.
And then, praise GOD, all will be well with the world.
AMEN
this is interesting, it’s funny how some people seem so mad, HAHAHA